Tarry the Tarrasque Poops on a Fighter (Tarrasque Fighter Challenge IC!)

[Another_Poet]

Welcome to the

PATHFINDER TARRASQUE / 3.5 FIGHTER
DEATHMATCH CHALLENGE!
http://img692.imageshack.us/img692/9599/tarryarcher.png

Posting Rules for the Challenger:

For ease of use, the map is a grid lettered and numbered. To allow repeating of letters, there are three sections - silver, gold and sapphire. In each in-combat post, state the square you end in; for example your starting location is silver i-1.

Please start each post with a small stat block using this format:
Arry the Archer
Hp 22/22 AC 21 touch 15 ff 19
Spells active: Blur 4 more rounds (20% miss chance) Haste 5 more rounds
Ending Location: silver i-1

Thank you.

Posting rules for audience:

We want you to cheer, heckle, threaten, boo, and generally cause a ruckus. But please don't do it in this thread. Instead, keep it in the OOC thread (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=130082).

Map:

http://img215.imageshack.us/img215/6474/tarrymaparcherround01.png



PROLOGUE

That damned trainer seemed to think you would give up before you even made it halfway through the cave... but he was wrong. You've hiked for miles down here. The cave walls and floors are oddly smooth. You haven't encountered a single wandering monster. And with 60' ceilings, the place even has a bit of a breeze moving back toward the opening to the surface far behind you.

Now you smell something musky. The cave doesn't look any different, but... well, it feels different. You hope that trainer is just full of hot air. How tough can one dinosaur really be? Well, last chance to turn back, or else you're going to find out...


BEGIN!


Neither side is yet aware of the other, so no initiative is rolled yet. Since we are not in initiative, this also means it is impossible to use readied actions.

[Eldariel]

Arry The Archer
HP: 194/194
AC 49, Touch 39, Flat-Footed 35
Effects: Fly (7 min)
Location: I1

Sheet (http://www.myth-weavers.com/sheetview.php?sheetid=163500)

Arry is on a trip, hunting the wabbit. Her keen elven senses tingle; this wabbit is a big one. As such, she decides to take some precautions before proceeding; precisely, she draws her trusty bow and activates the flight enhancement of her armor.

With that, she takes off, staying about 20' in the air and carefully begins closing distance to the first curve in the tunnel (Total Defense, moving with just one move action at the pace of 60' per 6 seconds). Her first aim: O54.

EDIT: If it becomes too dark to see with her low-light vision, she'll burn charge from the Scout's Headband for Darkvision.

[Eldariel]

Oh, and some die rolls just in case:
[roll0]
[roll1]
[roll2] (given shadowy illumination or cover or something to hide with)
[roll3]

[Another_Poet]

It takes Arry 30 seconds to glide up to that point. She hears nothing as she goes.

The cave is in total darkness - no light source - and she must indeed use her headband to see. ((What does this blindfold do and how long does it last? I will post what she sees, if anything, when that is answered.))

[Eldariel]

OOC: I'm not using the Blindfold. It grants Blindsight 30'. I am, however, using the Scout's Headband which with one charge grants me Darkvision 60' for an hour (3 charges would grant me True Seeing, but I don't feel that necessary though it does range 120').

[Another_Poet]

Thanks for the clarification. Blindfold was a typo on my part.

As Arry glides into position, she neither sees nor hears anything except the dark, silent cavern.

map

http://img88.imageshack.us/img88/9501/tarrymaparcherround07.png

[Eldariel]

Arry The Archer
HP: 194/194
Speed: Fly 60' (Good), 30'
Detection: Low-Light Vision, Darkvision 60'
AC 49, Touch 39, Flat-Footed 35
Effects: Fly (6.5 min), Darkvision (1 hour)
Location: O54

Sheet (http://www.myth-weavers.com/sheetview.php?sheetid=163500)

OOC: Added data regarding my movement speeds and vision modes to the stat block. Plotting travel course (using doubled letters to denote the second segment and tripled for the third one):

O54-II60-II24-AA18-AA5-RRR20-NNN38-DDD64 - notify me once something out of the ordinary happens or she notices something other than Yet Another Cavern Wall.


Arry activates her nightvision goggles and floats deeper into the scaly cave, constantly on her guard preparing to shoot on the slightest reaction (she's trigger-happy).

[Another_Poet]

Note that your Fly duration should be only 6.5 minutes left in your last post. I assume you are not using a light source?

Also, a question for you (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?p=7252246#post7252246).

I'll work on getting the next round up.

[Eldariel]

Note that your Fly duration should be only 6.5 minutes left in your last post. I assume you are not using a light source?

Also, a question for you (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?p=7252246#post7252246).

I'll work on getting the next round up.

Adjusted the flight duration, though I invested in infinitely usable version so technically I could just restart it every minute or so.

And yeah, no light sources. Given even with low-light vision, my Darkvision pretty much sees as far as I would with any kind of a light source and no light sources involves 100% more free hands + stealth, I find it a preferable option.

Also, answered.

[Another_Poet]

Ah, if the Fly is infinite uses - and if it's a free action to activate - then you can ignore the duration on that.

As Arry approaches the bend in the tunnel, she sees the source of the stink she has been smelling.

Ahead of her the cave floor is replaced by a pool of what almost looks like liquid mud, but judging by the reek is more likely a cess pool. Whatever this creature is, it either poops in a fresh water source or else it has a terrible case of the runs.

Still no sign of the creature itself.

Map ((The brown squares are the pool)):

http://img88.imageshack.us/img88/4360/tarrymaparcherround08.png

[Eldariel]

Arry The Archer
HP: 194/194
Speed: Fly 60' (Good), 30'
Detection: Low-Light Vision, Darkvision 60'
AC 49, Touch 39, Flat-Footed 35
Effects: Fly (6.5 min), Darkvision (1 hour)
Location: DD54, 20' up

Sheet (http://www.myth-weavers.com/sheetview.php?sheetid=163500)
No, it's a standard action to activate hence why I bothered to mention activating it in the first place instead of just stating "I fly". I'll track the duration

Arry continues on making very sure to stay far above said pools. She isn't terribly enamored of the idea of swimming in dinosaur crap. Thank god for flight; she renews the enchantment just in case.

[Another_Poet]

As you reach square Gold L-36


SURPRISE ROUND!!!!


Disclosed for fairness:

When you entered the cave, Tarry succeeded on a DC 56 listen check (17 move silently + 24 distance +15 stone wall = 56). He succeeded on a move silently to lie prone in the crap pool. He has been lying prone there ever since, and auto-succeeded in pinpointing your location with Listen as you passed over.

He now chooses to stand up from prone, a move action, which is all he can do on his surprise round. Normally this would provoke an AoO, but you are flatfooted against him.

As Arry flies over the crap pool, the surface heaves and gives way. Out of the murky cess rises a towering pillar of pain!!


It's TARRY THE MOTHERFLIPPIN' TARRASQUE!!

Splatters of poop and gloop fly in every direction, decorating the walls and Arry's brand new cloak. A mere 25' below you, Tarry's mouth is the size of a baron's feast hall. It opens up, undeterred by the sewage that drips in, and Tarry lets out a blood-stopping roar:

"TARRA, TARRA!"

Tarry's initiative: [roll0]

map
http://img84.imageshack.us/img84/6573/tarrymaparcherround09.png

[Eldariel]

Arry's Stat Block
HP: 194/194
Speed: Fly 90' (Good), 60'
Detection: Low-Light Vision, Darkvision 60'
AC 44, Touch 34, Flat-Footed 36
Effects: Fly (6.5 min), Darkvision (1 hour)
Location: LL36, 20' up

Sheet (http://www.myth-weavers.com/sheetview.php?sheetid=163500)

Arry's Initiative: [roll0]

Very surprised that something that...big could possibly surprise her, Arry explodes into action!

"Seems Ehlonna has blessed me with the greatest catch of them all!" she yells while launching a 4-arrow volley at the Tarrasque (Take 10 on attack roll as per Weapon Supremacy, result 44) for:
[roll1]+[roll2]
[roll3]+[roll4]
[roll5]+[roll6]
[roll7]+[roll8]

And moves to FF51 at 30'. Activate Anklets of Translocation to move to CC52.

Turn ends.

[Eldariel]

Actually, I miscalculated my movement. I can only make it to GG50 from where I teleport to DD51. 20' up at both.

[Eldariel]

Arry's Stat Block
HP: 194/194
Speed: Fly 90' (Good), 60'
Detection: Low-Light Vision, Darkvision 60'
AC 44, Touch 34, Flat-Footed 36
Effects: Fly (6.5 min), Darkvision (1 hour)
Location: LL36, 20' up

Sheet (http://www.myth-weavers.com/sheetview.php?sheetid=163500)

She activates her Boots of Speed and spends a charge of the Belt of Battle. Tumbling at half speed (autosuccess), she speeds to LL28 Tumbling and to KK26 the oldfashioned way, then opens a full barrage at the best:
1. [roll0] for [roll1]+[roll2] damage
2. [roll3] for [roll4]+[roll5] damage
3. [roll6] for [roll7]+[roll8] damage
4. [roll9] for [roll10]+[roll11] damage
5. Take 10 for To hit result of 43 for [roll12]+[roll13] damage
6. [roll14] for [roll15]+[roll16] damage


Oh yeah, and just for kicks, rolling Knowledge Devotion and Knowledge:
[roll17] (it's already accounted for in the above attacks; burns Collector of Stories)
[roll18]

Turn ends.

[Another_Poet]

Tarry


Knowledge results. Arry knows the following facts:

-OMG this thing is the TARRASQUE! Didn't occur to you before, apparently. You have heard that the tarrasque is the absolute most handsome creature in the entire creature kingdom! Based on what you've seen so far, it's true!
-Tarrasques are supposed to be very gentle lovers!
-Tarrasques are less gentle on food!
-You are more likely to count as food than as a lover!
-OMG if only you could be more like the Tarrasque!

Tarry takes several arrows (222 282 damage) and decides he likes the feel of 'em. Hoping for more, he chases after the ridiculously weak dungfly before him.

"Tarra!" he hollers.

[roll0]
[roll1]
[roll2]
[roll3]
[roll4]
[roll5]

(end round 10)

map

http://img691.imageshack.us/img691/7506/tarrymaparcherround10.png

edit: typo in the confirm crit line; should have been +43 (total of 49). Crit confirms!

Arry is now Stunned (http://www.d20srd.org/srd/conditionSummary.htm#stunned) for 1 full round; however, if you make a DC 40 Fort save you are merely staggered (http://www.d20srd.org/srd/conditionSummary.htm#staggered). Also you'll be taking bleeding damage every round. Also, I hope you like to be inside of gizzards.

[Eldariel]

The total arrow damage should be 282. Thanks to Bane from Raptor Arrows, they count as Epic so they penetrate the damage reduction. Critical...didn't see that one coming. This changes things.

[roll0]

[Eldariel]

Reroll off Mantle of Second Chances: [roll0]

[Another_Poet]

I put in the results of your knowledge roll above. :)


The total arrow damage should be 282. Thanks to Bane from Raptor Arrows, they count as Epic so they penetrate the damage reduction. Critical...didn't see that one coming. This changes things.[roll0]

Unless the raptor arrows have a specific clause to the contrary, epic weapons are not available to characters until level 21+. Do they have a clause the contrary?

You failed the fort save. That means technically you are stunned before the grapple began, so I would have to say you are grappled without a chance to roll an opposed check. You also drop everything held, including your bow.

I am not sure how an Animated Shield works with being stunned - does it count as being held? Or does it hover alonmg with you?

Once we answer the above questions I will take Tarry's next action, unless there is something you can do while stunned due to one of your weird items.

[Another_Poet]

Ha, I forgot the extra damage from he crit before. Here it is:
[roll0]


NEW ROUND

At the start of the round Arry takes [roll1] bleeding damage.

Tarry

Tarry already feels better. The arrows that hit him earlier fire back out of his body as the power of his regenerative force rapidly repairs his wounds ((Regains 40 hp)).

Seeing that the dungfly has stopped moving and is unable to fight, Tarry becomes bored. He decides to smoosh it so that it will absorb more poop when he poops on it.

"Tarra.... ASSSSQUE!"

Time for a Coup de Grace! (http://www.d20srd.org/srd/combat/combatModifiers.htm#coupdeGrace)

Automatic crit on Bite - [roll2]
Arry must make a fort save vs. DC (10+damage dealt)
On a fail, Arry dies.
On a success, Arry is still subject to the other effects of a critical:
*Become stunned for [roll3] more rounds. Or, if you make a DC 40 fort save you are staggered instead.
*Take another [roll4] bleeding damage, and it stacks with the earlier damage, so you will take 4d6 every round from now on.

In addition, since it is a bite attack Tarry gets a free grapple check if he wants it. Since Arry started the round grappled, this would let him swallow her whole. However if she is already dead Tarry will choose not to swallow her whole. ((So I'll await your fort saves, etc. to complete Tarry's actions.))

[Eldariel]

Alright, that's a nat 20: [roll0]

EDIT: Why couldn't that have been one of the other TWO rolls?

[Another_Poet]

Whoa, a 19, very close... any more lucky reroll effects?

[Eldariel]

I can't take actions Stunned, not that I'd have any anyways. Seems like Arry got pooped on. Teaches me to take a bloody archer to a bloody cave and get critted and fail my Fort-save. Alright, let's proceed to the other two guys.

Gawd, had I only made my Fort-save vs. Stun, I coulda used Boots of Big Stepping to jump to the other side of the wall and been back to game. Or if Big T hadn't just rolled a 20 on its attack roll >_>. Ah well, teaches me to **** with probabilities. Chances of success don't matter when that roll comes.

[Another_Poet]

Tarry cont'd

Seeing that his masticating has done its job, Tarry spits out the funny creature. He walks around in a circle a few times and then squats over Arry's corpse.

In a flatulent cataract of unholy mess, the once-heroic hunter is desecrated beyond redemption. Approximately 4 tons of brown yogurt covers over her proud face.

After the pooping is complete, Arry is allowed to season in the dung heap for about a week. In that time, Tarry's trainer claims her bow but doesn't touch the enfecated fighter herself.

Eventually, Tarry decides she has cured enough. He digs her out of the heap and eats her - most of her, anyway - in one bite. He allows the top part of her head to fall to the ground and later takes it to his trainer as a present. Her scalp joins those of many others on the trainer's belt.

The bow, the raptor arrows expelled from Tarry's hide, and any other trinkets that fell to the ground are sold to cover a bulk purchase of berries, a lure ball, a brand new bandana, some tournament fees and several years of subscriptions to Pokemon Magazine. Also, Tarry's trainer buys the tarrasque a plush archer doll as a reward for doing so well. Tarry treasures the toy and plays with it regularly, remembering how much he loves archers now.

And they lived happily ever after.

[Another_Poet]

Or Maybe it Happened THIS Way...

There is some rules debate over whether the CdG is possible. Let's jump to an alternate reality: Tarry charged, crit'd and stunned Arry as before; Arry has taken a total of 102 points of damage (original attack, extra damage for crit, bleeding damage) and is grappled by Tarry but no longer stunned. It is Tarry's turn. Essentially, the following replaces everything from the blue Tarry in post #20 onward.

Tarry

Tarry tries to swallow the archer whole.

[roll0]

((waiting for opposed roll to resolve))

[Eldariel]

Arry's pointless roll: [roll0]

[Another_Poet]

((sorry, didn't realise it was literally impossible for you to succeed, I'll stop taunting you with opposed grapple rolls now))

Tarry cont'd

Tarry swallows (http://www.d20srd.org/srd/specialAbilities.htm#swallowwhole) the archer! ((Standard action.))

[roll0]
[roll1]
[roll2]

Gizzard stats: AC 27, 52 hp (you are still considered grappled so you can use any light slashing or piercing weapon to try to cut your way out).

One the archer is down the hatch, Tarry looks at the weird little toy the thing dropped. He wonders if it's edible so he picks it up in his mouth (move action to pick up).

((End of round. Feel free to roll your own 2d6 bleeding damage on your turn.))

map

http://img691.imageshack.us/img691/9290/tarrymaparcherround11al.png

[Eldariel]

Nope, that's too much damage. GeGe. Another round with the same character or want me to move to char #2?

[Another_Poet]

Tarry plays with the bow for a while, but it doesn't taste very good. Eventually he spits it out into the crap pool, where it will presumably spend the rest of eternity.

When Tarry coughs up Arry later on she is quite pulverised by his gizzard. In fact, this time there isn't enough left to provide a scalp for his trainer. But, he still poops on her, a font of disgusting marinade in which she stews for a week or so before her final ingesting.

The trainer sells the arrows. It's not as much revenue as he'd like but it's enough to live on. And Tarry is a good li'l tarrasque so there will surely be many more spoils in the future.

Trainer and Tarrasque spend some time playing fetch with a frisby, and eventually Tarry is so tuckered out he goes to sleep half-immersed in the crap canal. All in all, a pretty good week.


LET THE RECORD SHOW - TARRY THE VICTOR; TARRASQUES AWESOME; FIGHTERS LAME; POO ON YOU ... x2!