Pokemon Facts: Dead Catgirls Ahoy!

[Haruki-kun]

So there I was browsing this other forum I frequent and someone posted this:

http://i163.photobucket.com/albums/t288/Vaarsuvius89/pokemonkillkittens.jpg

I guess the designers weren't really thinking much about it when they wrote the PokeDex.

Aren't Pokemon awesome, though? :smallbiggrin:

[Prime32]

I always thought it was weird that Charizard's flames could melt boulders but only knock humans out. :smallconfused:

[CapedLuigiYoshi]

...Okay, Whismur scares me.:smalleek:

I don't have much doubt about Azumarill, though.

[Mc. Lovin']

Wow Macargo and Whismur are ... Well I wouldn't have any of them in the party! Didn't someone have a Macargo in the anime which they hugged all the time or something? Poor them!

[Oslecamo]

I always thought it was weird that Charizard's flames could melt boulders but only knock humans out. :smallconfused:

If a charizard breathed on you and you're still alive, the pokemon wanted you to survive.-Ash Ketchum, pokemon trainer.

Fire. It solves everything!-unknown charizard


So it just shows that the charizard actualy likes his trainer, and shoots out weak flames when he's displeased, but still not filled with murderous rage.

After all, just because a lion mother can rip off your head with a bite, it doesn't mean it cannot use said bite to carry it's cubs after all.


OP: I really don't see a problem with that. Pokemons are suposed to be SUPER AWESOME after all. If a pokemon specialized in fighting couldn't outpunch an human, something would be very very strange.

[Green Bean]

Why do you think no one bothers to use guns? :smallbiggrin:

[Oslecamo]

Another thing explained! Why would anyone bother to develop and use guns when you can tame freaking dragons and carry them in easily portable balls!

Heck, you don't even need to feed or clean them! And they don't jam(unless they're traded).

[Green Bean]

Honestly, the physics aren't the scariest part of Pokemon.

Golbat feasts on human blood.

If Spoink ever stops bouncing, its heart stops beating and it dies.

Bannette is a discarded doll that relentlessly seeks its owner.

Drifloon tries to steal children. As does Hypno.

Cubone wears the skull of its mother.

Shedinja and Dusclops will steal your soul.

:smalleek:

[onasuma]

So, based on this, I think that the guy who invented the pokeball must been seen as the messiah in this world. Before it existed, freaking slug monsters set fire to peoples faces.

[Catch]

For a world were spontaneous genetic mutation is commonplace, and living creatures can be kept alive and healthy in a non-dimensional space for extended periods of time, and single beings maintain the fabric of space and time, being able to melt boulders is something of a small feat.

The Pokémon world is terrifying. People just don't know what to do (http://www.vgcats.com/comics/?strip_id=284) with all that potential.

[FoE]

It's so clear now: the world of Pokemon is the realm of the gods themselves, for who else but gods could wield such awesome and terrible power?

[The Dark Fiddler]

Honestly, the physics aren't the scariest part of Pokemon.

Golbat feasts on human blood.

If Spoink ever stops bouncing, its heart stops beating and it dies.

Bannette is a discarded doll that relentlessly seeks its owner.

Drifloon tries to steal children. As does Hypno.

Cubone wears the skull of its mother.

Shedinja and Dusclops will steal your soul.

:smalleek:

Not quite as weird, but still...

If you look at it the right way, your character is writing all the PokeDex entries in the game. So, Raticate's Red and Blue entry?

"It uses its whiskers to maintain its balance and will slow down if they are cut off. "

You must have gotten that from experience. You cut off a Raticate's whiskers.

[golentan]

This, to me, begs the question: How is there still a pokemon world?

Larvitars should have long ago devoured the landmasses. Magcargos should set fire to the atmosphere and boil the seas. Supersonic shockwaves should course across the surface, shattering glass, wood, and rock. Human civilization would collapse in days, within weeks there would be nothing but a burnt out cinder with the horrors capable of inflicting such devastation either roaming the charred and pocked surface feeding on each other, or looking for a new world to destroy.

How did humans survive to develop pokeballs on such a world? They must in turn be superhumans, possibly pokemon themselves...

Excuse me, I know have to go contemplate the thought of catching someone who would be forced to do my bidding and who I could store conveniently in my pocket...

[MCerberus]

This, to me, begs the question: How is there still a pokemon world?

Larvitars should have long ago devoured the landmasses. Magcargos should set fire to the atmosphere and boil the seas. Supersonic shockwaves should course across the surface, shattering glass, wood, and rock. Human civilization would collapse in days, within weeks there would be nothing but a burnt out cinder with the horrors capable of inflicting such devastation either roaming the charred and pocked surface feeding on each other, or looking for a new world to destroy.

How did humans survive to develop pokeballs on such a world? They must in turn be superhumans, possibly pokemon themselves...

Excuse me, I know have to go contemplate the thought of catching someone who would be forced to do my bidding and who I could store conveniently in my pocket...


A wizard/pokemon/wizardmon did it.

[Green Bean]

Keep in mind there are other, more powerful Pokemon that literally embody the land and sea. Not to mention the embodiments of time, space, and the literal creator of the universe. And despite their propensity to go berserk in the presence/absence of Plot Artifacts, they're probably in favor of keeping world around, and not on fire.

[Drakyn]

Keep in mind there are other, more powerful Pokemon that literally embody the land and sea. Not to mention the embodiments of time, space, and the literal creator of the universe. And despite their propensity to go berserk in the presence/absence of Plot Artifacts, they're probably in favor of keeping world around, and not on fire.

Unless someone catches them and forces them to do their bidding. A preteen with a silly hat, say.

[Green Bean]

Unless someone catches them and forces them to do their bidding. A preteen with a silly hat, say.

Yeah, hopefully it's like Discworld, where it's the embodiments' presence that matters as opposed to them actually having to do something. Either that, or silly hat's just catching an avatar of the real thing.

[Lord Seth]

The Wartortle comment doesn't even make sense, because Pokemon clearly takes place in another world. Making a comment about how "approximately 10,000 years ago, the Ice Age ended" and listing more stuff is irrelevant because that's our own, not the Pokemon world.

I also should point out that a lot of these say "It is said..." which means, y'know, it might not necessarily be true.

Another one that doesn't make much sense is Hitmonchan's. It says that the record for fastest human punch is nine times slower than a Hitmonchan's punch. And their point is...what, exactly? It's like complaining about how a cheetah can run much faster than a human.

Finally, the last thing that annoyed me is that it continually incorrectly uses an apostrophe in "its" when it's used for possession.

Some of the points made are valid, but some don't make much sense and I should note again that "it is said" doesn't mean that's true.

[Drascin]

Yeah, hopefully it's like Discworld, where it's the embodiments' presence that matters as opposed to them actually having to do something. Either that, or silly hat's just catching an avatar of the real thing.

Actually, canon says they more or less like the cut of your jib and decide to let themselves into the pokéball, and help you for a while - being polite enough to not actually use their powers at full, though.

After all, the preteen in a silly hat wouldn't really last more than what, 70 years? Letting themselves be captured is probably what passes for a lunch break, or a weekend sortie, for things like Palkia.

[Oslecamo]

This, to me, begs the question: How is there still a pokemon world?

Larvitars should have long ago devoured the landmasses. Magcargos should set fire to the atmosphere and boil the seas. Supersonic shockwaves should course across the surface, shattering glass, wood, and rock. Human civilization would collapse in days, within weeks there would be nothing but a burnt out cinder with the horrors capable of inflicting such devastation either roaming the charred and pocked surface feeding on each other, or looking for a new world to destroy.

They possibley counter each other in a careful balance. For every fire pokemon there's an ice and water pokemon puting out the flames it produces, grass pokemons regrowing the plants, ect, ect.



How did humans survive to develop pokeballs on such a world? They must in turn be superhumans, possibly pokemon themselves...

The pokeball is just a tool. It's the human being that trains the pokemon and makes them do their biding. Pokeballs just mean you don't need to feed and clean your monster all the time, nor make a house just for them.

Also, obrigatory comic reference:

http://www.vgcats.com/comics/images/090707.jpg

I also suport the weekend with an human theory. After all, one grows bored of living in their dungeon fortress after some centuries.

[The Dark Fiddler]

A wizard/pokemon/wizardmon did it.

Now you're getting Pokemon and Digimon mixed up. :smalltongue:

[Green Bean]

Now you're getting Pokemon and Digimon mixed up. :smalltongue:

Porygon's a Digimon. :smalltongue:

[Oslecamo]

Porygon's a Digimon. :smalltongue:

He's an artifical pokemon, clearly created by digimon fanboys on the pokemon world.

[Cubey]

Don't forget that pokedex entries are written by the trainers. Most of whom seem to be kids aged about 10.

How accurate do you think a 10 year old's facts are going to be?

[Drakyn]

"It's SOOOOOO hot, I bet it could BURN A ROCK APART! Yeah! And my gramma told me once that a wartortle could live for TEN THOUSAND YEARS!!!!!!! Oh, and my bird flies really fast. When I ask it how fast it is it just tries to peck me, but it totally has to be mach something!"

[Oslecamo]

Don't forget that pokedex entries are written by the trainers. Most of whom seem to be kids aged about 10.


Says who? The pokedex was created by advanced tree named professors last time I checked. To help trainers identify pokemons.

At least Ash Ketchum never wrote anything on his.

[Drakyn]

You'd think if it already had all the information inside it, there wouldn't be any need to hand it to little punks and ask them to show stuff to it. My best guess is that it records all the obvious stuff like weight, size, habitat and so on, but most of the qualitative information is entered by the kids when they're bored.

[Haruki-kun]

The Wartortle comment doesn't even make sense, because Pokemon clearly takes place in another world. Making a comment about how "approximately 10,000 years ago, the Ice Age ended" and listing more stuff is irrelevant because that's our own, not the Pokemon world.

Er..... actually, you should probably know something about the Pokemon world....

http://i163.photobucket.com/albums/t288/Vaarsuvius89/pokemoninjapan.png

[The Dark Fiddler]

Says who? The pokedex was created by advanced tree named professors last time I checked. To help trainers identify pokemons.

At least Ash Ketchum never wrote anything on his.

Well, in the games at least.

It's always "Complete the PokeDex!" and if they already had all that info, why would they need that?

[CapedLuigiYoshi]

Er..... actually, you should probably know something about the Pokemon world....

*big steakin' image*

What's that one red-marked thing below Sinnoh?

[Oslecamo]

Well, in the games at least.

It's always "Complete the PokeDex!" and if they already had all that info, why would they need that?

You're a biologist on a budget. You want to make the ultimate research project about pokemons. What do you do?

1-Create device that can identify pokemons.
2-Send unpaid kids into the wilderness.
3-Wait as kids capture pokemons for you and send them into the computer network.
4-Briber pokemon centers to send you data about the pokemons the unpaid kids catch.
5-Send "fun data" about the pokemons caught to the kids to motivate them to complete the whole colection.
6-When the kids complain they are hungry tell them do do this:
http://www.vgcats.com/super/images/081220.gif

7-Do a super thesis on pokemons whitout actualy ever leaving your home or needing to hire expensive professionals.
8-?
9-Profit!

[Nevrmore]

What are you even talking about, Oslecamo? It's a well-known fact that the entire idea of Pokemon is a scam. Groups of creepy, middle-aged men take on tree-themed codenames and operate with one another as "Professors" all over the regions of the world, tricking the children's population into believing that they can go out and tame mythical creatures, all in the goal to get them out of the house so that the "Professors" can then get with the kid's hot, single mom.

It was all orchestrated by Oak, who gave up his only begotten grandson, Gary/Blue, to enhance the verisimilitude of the project, because he really had the hots for Red's mom.

[Green Bean]

It was all orchestrated by Oak, who gave up his only begotten grandson, Gary/Blue, to enhance the verisimilitude of the project, because he really had the hots for Red's mom.

In his defense, have you seen Red's mom? :smallamused:

[Lord Fullbladder, Master of Goblins]

Between reasearchers, crime lords, and divine waterfowl, I think she's had enough attention already.

[The Dark Fiddler]

Between reasearchers, crime lords, and divine waterfowl, I think she's had enough attention already.

I love all the theories of who is Ash's dad.

Also, dear lord, Lord Fullbladder, your name is very long and stretches the forum!

[Lord Fullbladder, Master of Goblins]

People yelled at me when I tried to change it.

Well, okay, they didn't yell at me, and it was only one guy, but I got talked out of it. I think it might be longer than current forum setup wants.

[Mando Knight]

So there I was browsing this other forum I frequent and someone posted this:

http://i163.photobucket.com/albums/t288/Vaarsuvius89/pokemonkillkittens.jpg

I guess the designers weren't really thinking much about it when they wrote the PokeDex.

Aren't Pokemon awesome, though? :smallbiggrin:

I take issue at the Pidgeot "fact." We don't worry about metals melting at supersonic velocity. Except for specific areas (jet turbine blades, for example) they still don't reach temperatures exceed a few hundred degrees centigrade at supersonic speeds, and lots of other, nastier, things happen to our favorite aerospace materials long before they turn into liquid.

[Oslecamo]

It was all orchestrated by Oak, who gave up his only begotten grandson, Gary/Blue, to enhance the verisimilitude of the project, because he really had the hots for Red's mom.

There's absolutely no reason why you can't have both the hot mom AND your biology thesis with a single genious stroke.:smallamused: