Anyone ever try to analyze what influenced their current "tastes" in men/women?

[Pika...]

Sorry for all the romance related threads folks. While OKCupid was a total failure, it has motivated me to keep on trying. This has lead me to ponder various things.

First of I am not talking what gender you are attracted to here. I am beginning this thread in the hopes of discussing what lead us to like certain traits in people such as physical looks and personalities. Let's not go down an unneeded road here OK? :smallsmile:


Anyway, this is something I think about occasionally, though I am not sure if that is a strange thing to do.

Looking back I believe I can pinpoint those (be them fictional) characters who I believe had a big effect on me (in order):


Princess Camille

http://i47.photobucket.com/albums/f173/celestialkin/little-nemo.jpg



Princess Serenity/Usagi

http://i47.photobucket.com/albums/f173/celestialkin/Serenity-1.jpg



Princess Alura

http://i47.photobucket.com/albums/f173/celestialkin/allurawall.jpg



Dark Lady

http://i47.photobucket.com/albums/f173/celestialkin/wicked_lady.jpg



Cassandra from Centurions

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oA8YGSosTxA



Linka

http://i47.photobucket.com/albums/f173/celestialkin/captainplanet5.jpg



Chun Li

http://i47.photobucket.com/albums/f173/celestialkin/chunli01ps7.jpg



Kimberly

http://www.rangercentral.com/images/mmpr-rg-kimberly.jpg



From what I am (as a complete amateur) analyzing those above might be the reasons for the following:
-I have a big attraction for "traditional" feminine beauty. (Could this one be the princess theme which seems to be going on for some reason?)
-While I like the above, I also find myself attracted to women who are pretty dominant/powerful/etc and who know what they want.
-I seem to like women who can pull of the two above naturally???
-This might have lead me to be the more submissive type?
-It explains my attraction to Caucasian and Asian girls.
-I like women who are a bit b-wordy.
-I am attracted to gothy girls.
-I adore European accents such as Russian (though I believe the one who caused that was from the Ukraine? Did not know that at the time, though) ones.
-Why I still collect Street Fighter and Chun Li items.



So what are your thoughts on this? Is it really that simple to break your likes/tastes down and explain them?

And how would you analyze what lead you to your current "tastes"?

[Pyrian]

I tend to be instantly attracted to women that look like women I've fallen for in the past. The odd thing about this, is that those women in general look very little alike, from one to the next. :smallconfused:

[Cobra_Ikari]

I'm attracted to confidence and humor. That's...really it.

I can label girls as "attractive" or "not", but usually, I don't crush on someone until long after I've seen how they react to my flirting.

The only thing I can think of that matches this, though, is that I find open members of subcultures rather attractive. I think it might be because, down here, that takes quite a bit of confidence to pull off. >.>

But also because it totally looks hot. =3

[AtomicKitKat]

Alright, let's see. I'm not going to link pictures(for now). Let's just list the traits themselves.

Height. For some reason, I was always favoured by older ladies in my youth. Them being both stronger and taller than me also suggested power. As such, over the years, my tastes tend to gravitate towards females ranging from a little shorter(say about 4 inches less), to a little taller(about 2 inches more).

Physique. The girls on either extreme looked "sick". As such, I like to see girls with a little muscle curvature(and the difference between muscle and fat is in the wobbles per step, or wps.) This has also tended to direct me towards those with less "generous" tops. Which is fine by me.

Hair. My liking for long hair might be because for much of my younger life(and even now), I have had to keep my hair short to appear "presentable". Granted, I have swung between the 2 extremes myself, having gone from mid-back length hair to shaven completely bald overnight, and less extreme haircuts in between. Still, one cannot deny the appeal of being able to bat a ponytail.

Facial features. Not much really. Double-eyelids are preferred(for some reason, single-eyelids always looked a little "sinister", added to the fact that DEs are common in most of my family members, there ya go.), preferrably not a square jaw(sure, it'll look good on your sons, but what if you only produce X-swimmers?), and an overbite tends to look a little goofy, but approachable, whereas an underbite tends to give the face a stubborn, "grumpy" look.

Personality: This one's a head-scratcher. She doesn't need to be bi-polar, but it would be nice if she can switch between child-like and serious like I do. Being stuck in one mode or the other would be both boring and eventually annoy the crap out of me.

Diet: *shrug* What can I say? I just don't like giving up meat for more than a day. If she eats nothing but meat, of course, I'm gonna have to go down to Tifanny's for that bullet necklace.:smallwink:

Edit: Addendum after seeing Pyrian's post: Looking back over the years, I do find that I seem to be attracted to women who "resemble" me. Whether it's because they really do share some of my facial features, or they're good in the same subjects, or happen to be at/about my height, have similar birthdays, or even at/about the same level of "fat" that I'm at.

[xPANCAKEx]

im attracted to confidence and energy - its down to a way a girl will carry herself. While most girls bore the living daylights out of me, some who i find less than physically attractive, i find immensely (and overwhelmingly) attractive on a personal level due to the manner in which she conducts herself

i like girls that live for the moment, and as such i despire the game players due to their over thought-out/pre-planned nature... in summary, zero spontinaity = zero excitement for me

this video also sums up a lot of what i think about dating:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W9S5-EB8dR8

thanks hank


but back to the OP:

lookswise, im not so fussed about who i end up attracted to (dark hair/nice eyes is the usual paradym though) - but i've learned to avoid certain behavior types as they invariably belong to women who pose too much hassle for my taste

if theres something wrong with ALL the girls you've been dating (my habit was dating girls who were certifiably insane), trying to work out what the warning signs to that behavior is, and when you see those same warning signs... RUN.

[Boo]

I have a thing for red heads. I do not know where this came from. Since I am also an Anglophile I love English accents above others (I'm Canadian). Alternatively, I've found that women from most of Asia attract me more than any women from other parts of the globe. This is probably due to my fascination with the entire area, from India to Japan, that I've had since birth (I've never been out of Canada). As well, I love art, and I consider their body types to be more artistic than others--I don't know why this doesn't apply to African women. Another point, which is odd, is that I like dolls--I don't collect them, but I like them. Because of this, I like girls who are short (but not too short) with a doll-like appearance.

This is all looking rather specific, but I don't mind any girl as long as I can enjoy their company. I like any girl who returns the feeling.

[Bhu]

Well, physically I've always been attracted most to women who look like London Andrews or Chloe Vevrier. In other words, short, dark haired, and on the plush side. But that doesn't really mean anything as I'm not really all that picky about physical appearance compared to my friends and neighbors. I try to find women attractive for what they have, not un-attractive for what they're lacking. I might be one of the few people on the boards to also find muscle women attractive. Never really thought about why though.

Mentally I can accept most anything as long as she's not completely insane, doesn't have a fetish involving extreme blood/pain/bodily fluids not normally exchanged, or isn't cruel.

Unfortunately that seems to rule out the majority of single women I've encountered where I live...

[Adlan]

Genetics. I like Women with some muscle, some curves, good hips and a survival instinct: Nothing hotter than a woman into adventure and the outdoors. I consider this just my genetics looking out for themselves.

Which explains why my current fling is a skydiver and likes wildfood and animals (alive or dead).

[Tiger Duck]

Attention. If you give me attention I'll find you more attractive :smallsmile:

[bosssmiley]

Brunettes who can hold up their end of the conversation. Why? Coz I like brunettes, and I like smart girls. Simples.

One of my exes joked that I was more likely to meet my Miss Right in a nightclass than a nightclub. She wasn't that far off. :smallamused:

[Starscream]

Nerds. Hands down, I like female nerds. Always have.

*On Scooby Doo I liked Velma more than Daphne even though she had a terrible haircut.

*On Ninja Turtles I liked Irma more than April even though April wore that fanservicey yellow jumpsuit.

*On GI Joe I like the Baroness more than Scarlett or Lady Jaye, even though she was a villain and couldn't settle on an accent.

*Glimmer > She-Ra

*Trini > Kimberly on Power Rangers (though I was never a big fan of that show)

*Myra > Laura on Family Matters

*Poison Ivy > Harley Quinn in Batman Comics (If you saw her pre-transformation you'd understand the nerd aspect to that one). And Heck, I'd rather date Oracle than Wonder Woman.

It stays with me to this day. I have been known to melt into a puddle when watching Tina Fey on 30 Rock, and require being retrieved from between the couch cushions.

[Dragonrider]

What I find most attractive =!= the only things I'm attracted to.

There's a certain eye shape that I find really attractive . . . sort of narrow, and usually really dark . . . .
http://i156.photobucket.com/albums/t3/soggypoptart/eye.jpg

Dark, curly hair . . . .
http://i156.photobucket.com/albums/t3/soggypoptart/hair.jpg
I also tend to go for more effeminate guys. With (neat) facial hair.

And yeah, hair and eyes are the two many things I pay attention to. They add up to three people in my life particlarly.

The first is sort of me . . . http://i156.photobucket.com/albums/t3/soggypoptart/My%20hair/100_7909.jpgWhich probably ties in to that thing AKK said about tending towards people who look more like himself. The odd thing is that I don't particularly *like* my own appearance. But those two features are the two things that I do like about myself . . . .

The second person is my first major crush, who probably wouldn't appreciate having his photo pasted on the internet. :smallamused: But he was very cute. And had (still has) those 'sleepy' eyes and dark curly hair.

The third is my dad. But let's not go into the freudian creepiness of that, shall we? Anyway, he's turned his curly hair into dreadlocks . . . . http://i156.photobucket.com/albums/t3/soggypoptart/dad.jpg(Note: the last time I brought that up everyone went "eew". So let me make sure to clarify: I in no way find my own father attractive. However, that in no way prevents me from recognizing the fact that he had some of the traits that I find attractive.)


There are also two celebrities in particular that fit. The first is my favorite EVER. :smalltongue:http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_YASv33srsRE/Rrq6k2wegrI/AAAAAAAABf4/ebQYA9ev5f4/s400/13967.jpg

The second is one I'm not so proud of. :smallamused:http://s.bebo.com/app-image/7928634938/5411656627/PROFILE/i.quizzaz.com/img/q/u/08/04/08/orlando3.jpg



Personalities... I like *nice* guys. But funny. Intelligence is pretty paramount as well.

[Rettu Skcollob]

What I find most attractive =!= the only things I'm attracted to.

There's a certain eye shape that I find really attractive . . . sort of narrow, and usually really dark . . . .
http://i156.photobucket.com/albums/t3/soggypoptart/eye.jpg

Dark, curly hair . . . .
http://i156.photobucket.com/albums/t3/soggypoptart/hair.jpg
I also tend to go for more effeminate guys. With (neat) facial hair.

And yeah, hair and eyes are the two many things I pay attention to. They add up to three people in my life particlarly.

The first is sort of me . . . http://i156.photobucket.com/albums/t3/soggypoptart/My%20hair/100_7909.jpg

Christ, are you me? And I have hair and eyes like that! Only mine are a little darker than your pic~, Plus; you look like a female version of me! My hair is the same as yours, and my eyes are the same colour as yours, except a lot darker. >_< Long-lost twins? :smalltongue:

[Dragonrider]

Christ, are you me? And I have hair and eyes like that! Only mine are a little darker than your pic~, Plus; you look like a female version of me! My hair is the same as yours, and my eyes are the same colour as yours, except a lot darker. >_< Long-lost twins? :smalltongue:

Very strange. My hair doesn't look like that now, though . . . 'tis short. Still the same texture, though.

[Perenelle]

hm. I've never really thought of this before.

i'm going to Copy AtomicKitKat's format:

Height: I prefer guys taller than me. I'm 5'5ish so the guy would be around 5'6ish at the shortest.

Physique: I've noticed I like the slim athletic type. not so much muscular in the arms, but the sort of track runners and soccer players that have more leg muscle. Looking back to one guy I liked, He was a tall soccer player that was rather skinny. But it wasnt like he was unhealthy. I wouldnt want someone who is super thin but I wouldnt like someone who was "big". average size--slim is the range I prefer.

Hair: I like guys with dark brown hair, ranging from the sort of longish flippy type: example (http://x52.xanga.com/066b55e5d3d50243391367/b8349460.jpg) to just normal length. I dont like guys who are bald or have super short hair.

Facial features. I've noticed I like guys with defined noses. like the greek noses (http://img261.imageshack.us/img261/4921/nosesyd2.jpg) with high bridges. I dont really like guys who are very tan. fair skinned to light tans are fine. Any eye color I'm okay with.

Personality: I'd prefer a guy that can be funny and nice but also serious. Intelligence is a huge must since I'd like to have intelligent conversations with my future partner. This may sound a little odd but I like guys who arent afraid to state their opinions even if they know i'll disagree with them. My last boyfriend was constantly afraid of offending or disagreeing with me so I never really got his opinions. this was a huge cause of me breaking up with him. I prefer guys who are confident and understanding. I've been known to like the "geeky" guys.
I've noticed that the closer the guys personality and likes/dislikes are to mine the more I like them.

Diet: Healthy diet, not eating fast food everyday, guys who can cook is a plus.

there's probably more that i'm forgetting... but thats the rough outline of it.

[Ichneumon]

Personality: I'd prefer a guy that can be funny and nice but also serious. Intelligence is a huge must since I'd like to have intelligent conversations with my future partner. This may sound a little odd but I like guys who arent afraid to state their opinions even if they know i'll disagree with them. My last boyfriend was constantly afraid of offending or disagreeing with me so I never really got his opinions. this was a huge cause of me breaking up with him. I prefer guys who are confident and understanding. I've been known to like the "geeky" guys.
I've noticed that the closer the guys personality and likes/dislikes are to mine the more I like them.


Same here, I want them to be intelligent and not afraid of having a controversial/radical/extreme opinion that is different from mine or the majority. I do want to have somewhat the same ideology though.

I prefer thin above fat and I don't care much about height, although legginess is a plus.:smallamused:

[drakir_nosslin]

Ohh, interesting, now let's see...

Physically, which is fun looking for when out clubbing, but not really that important when you're dating.

Height: I like women who are shorter than me, but not much, somewhere between 165-175 cm, I guess.

Hair: I'm more into straight than curly hair, the length doesn't matter, not that into redheads. Can't stand dreads, at all...

Facial features: I like cute people, more than classic beauty style. And no obvious makeup please! There are good ways to use it, and there are really bad ways too. Copying the commercials is generally a bad thing.

Physique: This is quite important to me, as it has to do with personality a lot. I love training, and I train a lot, and I really like people who train too, they are usually stable, calm people with clear goals. Usually. So I tend to like women that are well trained.

Personality: Intelligence, a sense of humor and perhaps most of all, determination. I can't stand people who can't say what they like, what they want to do etc. etc. When I ask a question, I want the truth, I want an opinion, and I don't want to hear: "It doesn't matter, you choose..." unless that's really the truth, and let's face it, it rarely is. I'm a bit of a science nerd, so some general knowledge in that area is preferable, since otherwise she won't be able to understand half of what I'm talking about in my daily life.

[Coidzor]

A total failure? You managed to get banned from the website? :smalleek: Sorry to hear that, mate.

As for me, I like tall, thin women as a side effect of having had one in bed next to me naked for a good 3 years. So it's a bit of a wine appreciation/comfort thing there.

nasal tangent I dislike large or incredibly long noses due to people having a penchant for calling me Jewish, so I have a tendency to shy away from anything nose-wise that would lend itself to giving others more fodder to use against me. Especially given the geopolitical nature of our world... I mean, I already can't visit most of the world safely due to the color of my skin and my nation of birth. Having others' misperceptions about my ethnicity leading to my death is another thing entirely.

Also, I met some of my mothers' cousins from West Virginia once. They had huge schnozes and... I mean, some of them would've been cute (and far enough removed from me that it wouldn't be immoral to think it, even) but for that nose. That horrible, horrible nose. Like a beak from those bird-people in Windwaker, it was. :smalleek: And it came in like 3-4 generations ago from one woman for them and they're still suffering for it. :smallfrown:

I kinda feel bad for the girls my age, as they seemed to have had almost exclusively female children.

face/skin I have a tendency to care less about complexion and more about facial structure. I've been attracted to girls of many if not all of the skin tones/races I've encountered, and the criteria change a bit as I'm removed from my own race. Probably makes me racist, but my expectation/desire for height greatly decreases when going beyond northern european-descended women. It then becomes more of a "what works with this ensemble" sort of thing.

As for why this is, I don't know beyond that I associate height as something that mostly works with northern european-descended peoples. Possibly due to perceiving an even stronger cultural bias against women with anything I'd call height amongst other peoples. Have enough problems with tall white girls being too self-conscious about it when I love them for it, y'know?

I don't really care about skin tones because I've always been interested by colors since a young age, I think. As for the facial features I dislike, I think that mostly goes back to my sense of aesthetics and girls I had bad experiences with when I were a boy.

Face wise, of course, as I've already said, noses are quite the sensitive area with my tastes. Too wide and flat and they're a turn off, too narrow and long and they're a curiosity and a distraction, and if they're both too wide and too long, well, then they're morbidly fascinating. And I can't help but think, at least when I'm confronted by something, about whether I'd be about to conscience having children that I'd be inflicting such things upon.

I can't really say what it is I like about faces in general offhand, or why it is so, so I'm going to go with a general apology of aesthetics and what I think "works together."

I know, I know, it makes me a cad, but the biologist in me wants what it keeps deeming as good breeding stock.

A balance between curvy and flat, good musculature and pleasant softness. Height and strength to show good genes for strength and size tempered by feminine softness and, y'know, secondary sex characteristics.:smallwink:

And her hair and eyes shall be whatever color it please Nature or herself. One of the few areas where I am as easy going as I normally claim to be about appearance.

a reservation on hairstyle/textureUnless they're in dreads. I just hate how dreadlocks feel and I could not stand to have a woman with dreads in my bed. I mean, it'd scratch and grate on my chest, my arms, and probably my face if I worked up the courage to bury my face in her hair. *shudder*

This is because I like touching hair, smelling hair, burying my face and nose in hair and smelling my lover's scalp. I think this is because most women, when I'm standing behind them, have their heads just below my nose or just slightly below that, so naturally, if I were to embrace them from behind, that's where my face is going to end up, so I think it's just been my adapting to my experiences in nature.

I doubt anyone with dreads would become interested in me though, and so, all is well.

I prefer medium to long hair. Once a woman has less hair on her head than I do, I get a bit uncomfortable. Once she has less hair on her head than I have on the whole rest of my body, then I get disgusted. Probably because then I have no hair to play with and also due to associating hair that is adored or to be adored as an essential part of male-female interaction within a sexual-romantic relationship. I imagine it falls by the wayside as one progresses into a familial-romantic relationship.

Something about that level of revealing one's skull also seems jarring to me. Partially due to reminding me of my cousins when I was a kid. My jock male cousins who always had buzz cut hair so I had to look at their skull and be aware of how their musculature and skeleton moved when they talked. That, and I had some nightmares where they ripped off their skin and flesh and came at me as skeletons.

So yeah, some kind of trauma, I imagine.

SaucinessI don't know where to trace my love of nice, shapely gluteals back to, so I'm just going to plead biology on that one. Probably relates to the ideal mixture of muscle there and well marbled and formed fat.

And I'm a breastman due to it running in my family. That is to say, my brothers and my dad's porn stashes were pretty much comprised almost solely of that sort of focus. So of course this had an influence on my developing psyche.

I know, picky, ain't I? :smalltongue:

[Pika...]

A total failure? You managed to get banned from the website? :smalleek: Sorry to hear that, mate.

Nope, I just gave up after trying all the girls in a 50 mile radius who logged in in the last week who I kinda like based on their profile. Not a single reply.

Honestly, I then tried some of the ones I not so much liked just to see. Blah.

[SDF]

I'm not even going to attempt to pinpoint half of my cognitive reasons for why I like what I do, but I'll touch on a few.

Humor; I don't care. I've never liked comedies as a genre. And while just about all people put this at or near the top, it isn't much of a deal for me. A lack of humor after all doesn't equate to boring. I hate boring. I'm just as happy if it is replaced with wit, and a sprinkling of sarcasm. My Achilles heel is musicians, specifically drummers. The way to my heart is through my chest with a percussion mallet. (And food) I've always preferred *beautiful* over *hot* *cute* or *pretty* as far as that can be culturally described from an American point of view. All my friends are gorgeous so that is never really the kicker in terms to asking someone out. I like creative people that are into similar (not necessarily the same) kinds of music, and art. Socially aware is important to a point... it is hard to have meaningful banter with someone who isn't. Mostly someone who is optimistic and adventurous.

[Anonanimal]

Hmm. Interesting. My "type" varies pretty significantly, I think. The 4 main people in my life I've been attracted to have all looked pretty different.

Let's see...

Physique: I'm partial to thin people, and I like bones (there's just something about seeing how someone is put together, from an aesthetic perspective--I like to see how the artist did it, whether or not there was an artist). This said, I like some shape. I'm not much of a chest-man, but something ought to be there. I am a butt-man, but in terms of physique, my type could be described as "compact." Not much extra.

Height: Generally speaking, I like someone who's closish to my height. I'm a big hugger, so I need to be able to hug/cuddle with the person comfortably. This, though, is malleable--2 of the big 4 have been almost exactly my height, 1 has been about an inch taller, and one about 5 inches shorter.

Hair: Also varies a good bit, but blondes aren't really my thing. I tend to gravitate toward brunettes and, because of #3, redheads. The latest has significantly lighter hair than the standard fare, though--it has a sort of yellow glow to it in the sunlight. Generally speaking, though, my ideal hair length is medium. Somewhere between the nape of the neck and mid-shoulders. One has been rather pixie-ish, however (the redhead)--hair was about at her chin.

Facial features: This is where I get more specific, maybe. By which I mean that the face is what I'm most attracted to, and a gorgeous face is kind of a big thing. I'm not entirely sure what this means, but it includes well-defined cheekbones, I'm sure. Thinnish lips. Pretty eyes.

Personality: Here's where it actually gets more specific. A singing voice (while not personality, I guess) is incredibly important, and is usually the most attractive thing to me. Talent in general is a big attractor, as is someone who's interesting to me. No fun without idiosyncrasies.

[Coidzor]

Humor; I don't care. I've never liked comedies as a genre. And while just about all people put this at or near the top, it isn't much of a deal for me. A lack of humor after all doesn't equate to boring.

You do realize that wit is usually lumped in with sarcasm together with whatever else falls under the mantle when people mention humor, right?

...Do they even make female drummers?

[Froogleyboy]

Height: I hate it when chicks are taller then me (but I'm 5'11 so its usually not a problem)

Hair: I love red heads

Facial features: Eyes, I love big eyes

Physique: Slim, but not "Skinny", and a nice round buttox

Personality: I like it when girls accept my strangeness (even better when they are just as strange)

[Gruchul]

My tastes vary quite wildly on a daily basis. Recently, my major crushes have alternated between blonde and brunette, but I think that's just coincidental.

[Warpfire]

...Do they even make female drummers?

...yes? :smallconfused:

[cycoris]

Hmm. I think I'm going to follow AKK's structure as well.

Height:
I don't care much at all. Having a guy taller than me tends to make hugs feel more 'comforting', but that doesn't mean that short-guy-hugs can't match up.

Physique:
They have to look healthy, which can mean different things for different people. And I tend to lean towards slightly chunkier guys.

Hair:
Blonde hair is yuck.
Bonus points if it's dyed a crazy colour and looks good.
I like wavy or curly hair far better than straight.
I like long hair better than short, though this depends somewhat on their facial features as well.

Facial features:
I don't like pale, watery-looking eyes.
Chubby cheeks and/or dimples are a big plus.
Must have a nice smile.
Must smile with their eyes when they smile.

Personality:
Waaaay too many things to go into here. I'm picky.

Diet:
Don't care.

And I have absolutely no clue where any of this came from. :smallsigh::smalltongue:

[Dallas-Dakota]

Just wondering, why is blonde hair yuck?

[SDF]

You do realize that wit is usually lumped in with sarcasm together with whatever else falls under the mantle when people mention humor, right?

...Do they even make female drummers?

Well literally yes, granted. But, I think you understand what I am trying to say.

And Kathy Foster the bassist for The Thermals is also the drummer for the All Girl Summer Fun Band and one of the hottest people ever. Yoshimi P-We plays drums for the Boredoms. There was that whole rrriot grrl thing. And, bite me, I like Meg White.

[cycoris]

Just wondering, why is blonde hair yuck?

Hmm. It's just that I feel it makes people look kind of bland, since natural blondes usually have pale skin and eyes to match. But it can look okay on some people, I just haven't known any.

[Perenelle]

Blonde hair is yuck.



I'd have to agree. >.>

[The Vorpal Tribble]

Physically? I tend towards some, but really, I can see something attractive in almost any woman. Petite, well-endowed women are my preference, with curly hair a plus.

Personality wise... really, I've never actually become emotionally attached to but one girl in my life. All others are interesting, but only one has sincerely attracted me by their personality.

I do know you have to have a kind personality to attract me at all. I don't care if you are the hottest thing on the planet, if you're a bitch or just ill natured you will never attract me.

I do however like women whom are inwardly strong. Not domineering. Not feminist. Not butch. Not someone who doesn't have a soft side. Those make me want to gag. Someone who simply does what they think is right and doesn't bow down to peer pressure or to what others want them to be. Nor one that is completely unable to see someone else's point of view.

For example of the girl I am devoted to, she was diagnosed with cancer in her arm, had it removed successfully, but got a horrible scar to an otherwise beautiful and flawless form. At first she wore long sleeves to cover it, but then she decided she wasn't going to hide anything, and now wears sleeveless clothing whenever she can to spite it. Then, and this is the kicker... she named the scar. Now that is my kind of woman.

[Coidzor]

Just wondering, why is blonde hair yuck?

I think it's partially a thing to do with all of the bottle blondes for whom it doesn't really work well with. I mean, blonde hair isn't something that everyone should have, nor is it meant to be.

Sort of like how you can dye your hair a natural shade of red, but that won't give you the rest of the redhead look to match. So too with blonde hair.

Course, I might be offbase as to why she dislikes it, but that's my usual reasoning. It just doesn't fit with most of the people that have it.

[Trog]

My tastes tend to have been built on those women I had developed crushes on over the years. All real people, no cartoons and only a couple of celebrities here and there for fleeting moments. In hindsight analyzing what made me find them attractive I only find the commonality of being female and having pretty eyes (color not important) and being pretty (a subjective measure). Having pale skin fits most of them but not all of them. I would list being short here too but my idea of short is skewed a bit, I think, being 6'3".

Likely my attraction is based on pheromones and genetics and all that terribly unromantic stuff.

As to personalities I tend to be attracted to (at varying times) both the outspoken ones and the shy ones. A decent sense of humor and the ability to carry on a good conversation that doesn't feel forced is always good. The ability to banter is nice too. Deeper than that everyone is different so it's hard to draw any conclusions there.

I dunno, that's me. I'm attracted to whomever I'm attracted to. I don't think I qualify it much ahead of time.

[Deadly]

The smile is everything for women. If she has the right smile she has my heart. Ok, maybe that's a little exaggerated, but there's something to it and it's certainly true for many more of those I fall for than any other trait I could list.

I also much prefer small women, as in not too tall. I am also one of the apparently exceedingly rare men who prefer small-ish boobs (large boobs are disturbing to me). If I had to analyze, I guess this has to do with my own dissatisfaction at being relatively large myself. I am so terribly, terribly envious of small people! :smallfrown:

I tend to prefer dark hair, the darker the better usually, although a few blondes have been known to take my heart. Short or not too long hair as well, and typically straight although slight curly-ness can be very attractive for some. Again, with the dark hair, I dislike my own blond hair, although I doubt that's why I prefer dark-haired women.

Skin color is of no importance apparently. I find very pale and very dark about equally attractive in most cases, although I think I may tend towards something in the middle. I'm pretty darn pale myself.

A good natural figure with some curves is always good, but the face is really important. I can not describe what makes a beautiful face, because it's always something mysterious... when I see a truly beautiful woman it's always something about the face, and it's always something I can not quite put my finger on. I could give examples if that didn't feel somewhat wrong and likely wouldn't help anyway.

I find feet of all things can be very attractive. Again, relatively small, but strangely I often find relatively large boots and shoes attractive. Speaking of clothing, I also often find "more clothes" more attractive than less clothes. Not always completely true, but less clothes is certainly not always better.

As for personality... I don't know, really. I like creative women, very intelligent women too, and women who aren't weak but I don't find overly dominating personalities nice either so there's a fine balance to strike. I think I like women who can go a little either way. I like women who act naturally and casually rather than constantly seeming to have some kind of facade or act going. I like women who laugh and smile a lot, the kind who make those around them happy too.

But in the end... it's all very different. When I look back at those I've been attracted to, the ones who really stand out in my memory, then they are very, very different people and not all of them fit all the traits above.

As for what actually influenced these preferences... I don't know, it's a pretty hard thing to analyze. I like to see myself as the kind who makes up my own mind and always seeks to find my own tastes and expressions, and so I like to think that I am not too heavily influenced by one particular thing but rather a lot. I guess everything influences me, not just a few isolated things. The same is probably true when it comes to who I find attractive, I don't limit myself to a few things, I try to take the whole. If that makes sense... :smallconfused:

[Dragonrider]

Not feminist.

You don't like women who think men and women should be equal? :smallconfused: Or are you confusing this with militant feminism?

[AtomicKitKat]

Probably makes me racist, but my expectation/desire for height greatly decreases when going beyond northern european-descended women. It then becomes more of a "what works with this ensemble" sort of thing.

As for why this is, I don't know beyond that I associate height as something that mostly works with northern european-descended peoples. Possibly due to perceiving an even stronger cultural bias against women with anything I'd call height amongst other peoples. Have enough problems with tall white girls being too self-conscious about it when I love them for it, y'know?

I don't really care about skin tones because I've always been interested by colors since a young age, I think. As for the facial features I dislike, I think that mostly goes back to my sense of aesthetics and girls I had bad experiences with when I were a boy. And I can't help but think, at least when I'm confronted by something, about whether I'd be about to conscience having children that I'd be inflicting such things upon.

I can't really say what it is I like about faces in general offhand, or why it is so, so I'm going to go with a general apology of aesthetics and what I think "works together."

I know, I know, it makes me a cad, but the biologist in me wants what it keeps deeming as good breeding stock.

Interesting. I think I'll plead guilty on genetics for this one as well. At its most basic level, physical attraction is very much a case of your genes telling you "Hey, this works, s/he'll make darned fine babies with you!"


A balance between curvy and flat, good musculature and pleasant softness. Height and strength to show good genes for strength and size tempered by feminine softness and, y'know, secondary sex characteristics.:smallwink:


This is because I like touching hair, smelling hair, burying my face and nose in hair and smelling my lover's scalp. I think this is because most women, when I'm standing behind them, have their heads just below my nose or just slightly below that, so naturally, if I were to embrace them from behind, that's where my face is going to end up, so I think it's just been my adapting to my experiences in nature.

I prefer medium to long hair. Once a woman has less hair on her head than I do, I get a bit uncomfortable. Once she has less hair on her head than I have on the whole rest of my body, then I get disgusted. Probably because then I have no hair to play with and also due to associating hair that is adored or to be adored as an essential part of male-female interaction within a sexual-romantic relationship. I imagine it falls by the wayside as one progresses into a familial-romantic relationship.

SaucinessI don't know where to trace my love of nice, shapely gluteals back to, so I'm just going to plead biology on that one. Probably relates to the ideal mixture of muscle there and well marbled and formed fat.

And I'm a breastman due to it running in my family. That is to say, my brothers and my dad's porn stashes were pretty much comprised almost solely of that sort of focus. So of course this had an influence on my developing psyche.

I know, picky, ain't I? :smalltongue:

Hmm. I'm more of a leg-man myself. Xenia Onatopp FTW. Agree totally on the hair thing. Just something about running one's fingers through, being almost submerged in her hair, etc. The one time I had an opportunity to keep my hair for almost 3 years(before I decided to shave it as I had to go back for reservist training the next day), I did so, because it worked as a substitute. :P And heck, I loved running my fingers through my own hair, so there.:smalltongue: Gluteals. Leg man. I'm darned proud of my own thighs, so umm yeah, the whole "loving the other-gender-you" thing probably applies here too. Looking back, yeah, every single one of my crushes has to some extent or other, physically resembled a female twin(albeit proportionally taller, being the same height as me) of myself.

[Hell Puppi]

Anyone ever try to analyze what influenced their current "tastes" in men/women?

Yes I have.

Apparently I have a death wish :smalltongue:

[snoopy13a]

I think it's partially a thing to do with all of the bottle blondes for whom it doesn't really work well with. I mean, blonde hair isn't something that everyone should have, nor is it meant to be.



In her case, it is the natural blondes she doesn't like. Few men are bottle blondes as proved by much higher number of blonde women than men.

I actually think blonde men seem stronger and healthier than brown haired men (sort of a rugged Nordic look)*. Natural female blondes look the same way but they are outnumbered by the artificial looking bottle blondes.

*When I think of a blonde man, I think of a big strong Scandavanian guy named Hans who cross-country skis. When I think of a blonde woman, I think of Paris Hilton :smalltongue:

That's why I usually like brunette women. I also like natural redheads and blondes but not bottle blondes and those odd looking tinges of red hair.

[Coidzor]

^: mmm, I was grasping at straws anyway. Blondeness is a weird... sort of thing with western society. Sort of a love it or hate it for a lot of people.

Apparently though, I just learned that people like me, with brown hair and blue eyes are supposed to be considered rare relative to like, blondes with blue eyes. Which was weird to have brought up to me out of the blue by someone at school...
Yes I have.

Apparently I have a death wish :smalltongue:

Well, I mean, you have to do something to spice things up when you've been married for awhile after all. Not sure why you're courting death with him to do it though...

[Lioness]

Hmmm. Well, in a guy, I like

Height. He should really be taller than me. I don't mind how much taller, but my current BF is almost a foot. It works for me.

Dark hair: Brown or black. I don't really like blonde hair in a guy. Or on a guy. Take your pick

Eyes are not so important. I like blue and green eyes, but brown and hazel are fine as well. As long as they're not cruel eyes, I'm happy.

Personalty: He should be an equal mix of weird, nerdy, and kind. He should be able to laugh and talk to me deeply about things.

He must be a good hugger. Snuggles are nice.

Same moral values as me. I once dated a guy who was in it only for sex. I wasn't giving him any, and he tried to push me further than I wanted him to go. Easiest turn off ever. Current BF probably wants it less than I do...

Open to different opinions. I don't want to date a guy who constantly argues my point of view because he believes that his is the only right one.

Physical fitness is not so important. I've dated bone skinny guys as well as one who was a little chubby (he is my current BF). It makes him warmer and softer to hug, so I'm not complaining.

[cycoris]

Apparently though, I just learned that people like me, with brown hair and blue eyes are supposed to be considered rare relative to like, blondes with blue eyes. Which was weird to have brought up to me out of the blue by someone at school...

BWAHAHA! ...I always knew that I was special, this is just more "proof". :smallbiggrin:

[Faulty]

I don't like saying I have a type, because the second I do I find someone who doesn't fit that type attractive. There are a few things that are basically standard for me... I like people who physically look feminine. I don't mean really feminine, but could be picked out as girls (this includes "feminine" males). I don't like super large breasts. I don't like really thin or really large people, but more along mid range of a healthy weight. I tend to greatly prefer black and brown hair to red or blonde. I tend to not like people with really piercing blue eyes, especially if they have dark hair; in general I prefer deep brown eyes. I find a number (http://www.gibson.com/Files/aaFeaturesImages/chan%20marshall%20cat%20power.jpg) of musicians (http://thedailygrowl.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2009/07/emmy_the_great.jpg) very attractive (and to a lesser extent this guy (http://img.aftonbladet.se/noje/0409/09/NYHETER-09s09-snyggast-14_368.jpg)). It's probably because I like their music on a level... I find people way way more attractive if they display some form of personality that I find appealing. This includes if they make music that makes me feel something. The other day I saw a girl wearing a hoody with the Communist hammer and sickle on a patched sewn into it and she immediately became a person of interest for me. Stuff like that.

Oh, I tend to find lack of make up sexy. And lack of high heels. And feminism... feminism is hella sexy.

[Syka]

I can pinpoint the reasons behind my mental/emotional attractions. Not so much the physical. I mean, my 'ideal' is dark, like Mediterranean/Middle Eastern/Indian. Seriously, when just 'oogling' that's the type of man I am attracted to. Yet I've only date guys with blonde hair and blue eyes, heh. I still don't know why.

A lot of my mental/personality attractions come from how I was raised. My partner NEEDS to be intelligent. Doesn't mean book smart, but intelligent. Able to hold a discussion, well rounded, etc. This comes from the fact one of my families main values is intelligence. If all you can talk about is what's in the latest issue of OK, it's not going to cut it. Like, Oz doesn't read (I'm working on it...) or do well academically, but creatively he's one of the most intelligent people I know. He sure outstrips me, for sure.

I also need humor in my life, and expect to be teased. I give as good as I get, and I expect to get a lot of jibes. Sarcasm is part of how my family shows their love, we make it an art form.

They need a life. To be at least potentially independent. Obviously life circumstances intervene, but as a person I'd prefer them to be able to make their own decisions and stand on their own two feet. No just automatically deferring to me.

All of those stem from values my family had or which I came to value as I got older. There is more of course, but those are my main things.

[Inhuman Bot]

Generally, I'm interested more in what a person is like then how they look.
As for that personallity, the most importent part is being able to stand me. :smalltongue: I'm not very likeable, so I (obviously) like it when a person can stand me. I also like a person who isn't excessively serious or joking. Both extremes really annoy me. Having similar intrests is nice, but not something I really consider vital. Lastly, not having dramatic predjudices. If someone I was going out was talking about how much they hated, say, Christians, or Americans, I'd probably consider dumping them then and there.


Looks wise, however, I dislike blonde hair, or hair colours that aren't natural on humans. Preferably, long. I prefer short as opposed to tall (That's partially because if they were taller then me, they would be REALLY damn tall). I don't like really thin or large people. I like piercing blue eyes, probably due to the first girl I had a crush on having that. I don't really take breast size into account, (aside from mildly disliking really flat women, but that's not really a priority) and I find doing so to be a little weird. I don't really have a preferance for skin colour aside from not liking REALLY dark or REALLY pale. I also like english accents.

So... yeah. >.>

[Lamech]

Hmm... lets see.
Female, this has so far been essential. Tall is a plus. Also preferably either thin or some muscle. (Athletic build I guess?) Small, but not totally flat breasts are nice. (And large breasts are a turn off.) Skin color seems to be a non-issue.

Straight hair is a plus, dark hair is a plus (or died some artificial color like blue or pink). Something I find very attractive is really long hair. (Like waistlength or so.) Although more medium to short hair is really all the same. And being bald is a turn off.

Dressing in a "goth" manner or some other subculture seems attractive. As does the artificial hair color, and a few piercings.

Hmm... now to analyze this. I suspect the long hair may have come from fictional characters who don't need to worry about all the practical details with hair like that. The thin/in-shape probably comes from society and genetics. Not sure where small breasts comes from. Nor about the hair. The piercing/"goth"/unnatural hair probably comes from liking confidence, and a desire for something "exotic".

[Gpope]

Somewhere along the line I realized that my tastes are informed to an embarrassing extent by Scarlett (http://videoeta.com/images/news/scarlett_gi_joe_drawing.jpg). Odd, as I was never a major Joe fan when I was a kid.

Not that it's tremendously important to me, as this idealized type has pretty much no bearing on my attractions in real life. It's not that I'm entirely disinterested in appearance--I'll cop to being a bit shallow--but I have a pretty broadly inclusive concept of beauty.

[7309]

Hair color isn't that important to me, as long as it's natural. My girl has to be confident with her natural body. Curly or straight. Eyes...normal. Eyelashes...normal. Ears can't be too big or too small. Nice-sized lips, maybe slightly bigger than the norm. Not too fat or skinny. I don't care about glasses. Freckles...maybe, if it's cute. Breasts: too small isn't great, but okay, but too big is just gross. Slim figure, a little flesh in the midsection is good. Nice hips, not too skinny. Long-medium length legs.and I really don't care about feet.


Influences....not sure. My family has a wide range of hair colors, and shapes and sizes, which is what I think did it. If anyone knows, anything that could do this, tell me.

[Pika...]

You don't like women who think men and women should be equal? :smallconfused: Or are you confusing this with militant feminism?

I think he meant the man haters who call themselves feminists and give the real ones a bad name. :smallsmile:

[Cobra_Ikari]

I think he meant the man haters who call themselves feminists and give the real ones a bad name. :smallsmile:

Most women I've met who believed in gender equality don't call themselves feminists. Nor do most men I've met who believe that way.

The word seems to be almost irrevoccably tainted by people who believe in female superiority.

[Starscream]

Most women I've met who believed in gender equality don't call themselves feminists. Nor do most men I've met who believe that way.

I remember a Doonesbury strip in which one character (a feminist since around 1970) complains that girls nowadays don't like to be called that word. The person she's talking basically says that it's because they don't need to, any more than they need to self-identify as "suffragettes" or "abolitionists".

These days not thinking that a woman shouldn't have to be a housewife is the aberrant opinion. It doesn't matter whether they use the term, tell 99% of modern women (in my region of the world anyway) "Quit your job and fix my dinner", and you're going to have a footprint on your skull. And rightly so.

[Gpope]

Most women I've met who believed in gender equality don't call themselves feminists. Nor do most men I've met who believe that way.

The word seems to be almost irrevoccably tainted by people who believe in female superiority.

This idea itself seems to mostly a product of anti-feminist backlash. I still see most women advocating gender equality label themselves as feminists, and most people who label themselves as feminists tend to be pretty reasonable. There are some real crazies out there, sure, but not as many as you'd think just listening to the way people react to the word "feminist."

That said, I'm not a big fan of the F-word myself as it's rather vague. If you call yourself a feminist, are you advocating that women are equal, equivalent, superior, or complementary to men? I prefer labels like "egalitarianist", which also has the benefit of speaking of a rather broader focus.

[SDF]

This reminds me of a conversation I had with my room mate after our Halloween party. I was talking with my friend on the couch while my room mate was mopping. It went something like.
Her: "Wow, I'm down here cleaning while you two boys are just sitting around, drinking and observing."

Me: "I'm pretty sure this is a setup for a misogyny joke, but I'll just take the high road here."

Her: "Saw right through me, you are so smart..."

Me: "Of course I am, I'm a man."

To be fair I cleaned up all the err, vomit and stuff from overly ambitious friends...

Oh, and I need a girl with thick skin. :smalltongue:

[Solaris]

Well, I'm not terribly picky about appearance. The girl's gotta be healthy, better-looking than an English bulldog, and visibly female, but beyond that my tastes have varied so much that I honestly can't pick out particular traits I'd find attractive. I've even found girls who were just a little on the cute side astonishingly alluring. Personality, on the other hand, is a big one. I'm attracted to intelligent, confident, adventuresome women 'cause they're the only ones who can keep up with me. Not girls, I can't stand kids (and you can be a forty-year-old child). Women.
Independence is a major selling point. If she's dependent on me or her parents, I'm exiting stage left. Knowing her way around a firearm is a definite plus. That one seems to be an Army thing - a lot of guys in my battery either hook up with chicks who know guns or teach their girlfriends how to use 'em.

What can I say? I like a girl who's like me.


I remember a Doonesbury strip in which one character (a feminist since around 1970) complains that girls nowadays don't like to be called that word. The person she's talking basically says that it's because they don't need to, any more than they need to self-identify as "suffragettes" or "abolitionists".

These days not thinking that a woman shouldn't have to be a housewife is the aberrant opinion. It doesn't matter whether they use the term, tell 99% of modern women (in my region of the world anyway) "Quit your job and fix my dinner", and you're going to have a footprint on your skull. And rightly so.

I remember that one. Pretty much hit the nail on the head.

[Quincunx]

Short, dark, and sharp. After watching the You thread for several iterations, I added "mature", which rules out 90+% of the guys there. Yet what do I end up with but tall, blonde, and damn-he's-goodlookin', and myself with a pair of eyes that can't do sustained ogling any more. There's just no point to it now.

[Coidzor]

Does sustained ogling hurt after you start to get old, Quin? :smallconfused:

[Cobra_Ikari]

Short, dark, and sharp. After watching the You thread for several iterations, I added "mature", which rules out 90+% of the guys there. Yet what do I end up with but tall, blonde, and damn-he's-goodlookin', and myself with a pair of eyes that can't do sustained ogling any more. There's just no point to it now.

Aww, here I was, hoping for Quin-swoonings, and then she has to add a tag like "mature". :smalltongue:

*snuggles, does the ogling for you* :smallwink:

[toddex]

Physically I like tall women, black hair, dark skin, and green to brown eyes. I also ****ing love curvy women, sweet jesus. ( I dont want to be mean but below 5'4 ish kind of creeps me out )

The other stuff I hate people who just latch on to other people. Wishy washy cant make a decision for yourself type people disgust me. Fence sitters also ****ing anger me! Choose a side and support it damn it! Passive aggressive people piss me off also stop with the mind games and deal with the god damn issue!!!! The shy book worm girl persona drives me up a god damn wall! I love women who can express themselves and arent afraid to do it!

[Bhu]

Oh yes and I forgot before: My Significant Other must absolutely, positively, like cats. I will not compromise on this. :smallwink:

[Jack Squat]

I'm not sure how useful this'll be for those looking to win my heart, as one can fit all the following criteria and I don't find them attractive. But this is generally what I've noticed I end up looking for - not only for crushes, but for friends as well.

1. Healthy looking - This covers a very general area of body types, but generally this means your weight fits your body, though if you're the same pants-size as the cryptkeeper or can be mistaken for the boulder in Raiders of the Lost Ark, it's fair to say I won't spend too much time gazing at you unless it's amazement that you're able to move around.

2. Be Active - Generally if you fit this one, you won't have a problem with the previous one. I'm a SCUBA diver, I hike, play paintball, wakeboard, swim, bike, camp, and just in general like doing physical activities. If you'd much rather sit in front of a computer or TV than step outside, I can't say I'll get along to well with you.

3. Conservative - No, not the political stance. This is mostly related to dress and behavior. Basically, don't dress/act like a slut and know when to seem civilized.

4. Opinionated/Intelligent - I don't care what your beliefs are, but please be able to back them up with solid reasoning. I want to have intelligent conversations with people, and that can't happen if you don't know what you're talking about, or don't really care enough to have opinions about anything. I suppose a good describer for this trait is independence.

5. Listen to good music - This one's very subjective; but for me this means that you listen to more than country or mainstream rap. I have a preference towards rock and blues, but my tastes are pretty open.

6. Geeky - This one I'm pretty slack on, but it has to be there somewhere. Easiest way to meet this requirement is enjoy some type of gaming (even if it's just Apples to Apples and Candyland) and watching movies. Interest in video games is a huge plus, as is more than a passing knowledge of DnD.

7. Interest in cooking/baking - I like food...a lot. I like cooking as well, and can't really relate to people who are fine living off of frozen/fast food.

8. Be comfortable around guns - No, you don't have to be a marksman, or even be interested in them. However, if you curl into the fetal position at the sight of them or will be lecturing me as to how evil they are, I'll throw you out. It's unreasonable to act either way about an inanimate object. Also, as of next summer I'll have one on me most of the time; so it'll be pretty helpful towards me liking you if you're not constantly afraid I'm going to kill you or think I'm Satan reincarnated.

Notice how there's not really any specific physical features listed there. It helps if you're at least 'average' looking with a leaning towards 'cute', but beyond that I really just look for how well your looks/features fit you.

[valadil]

I try not to analyze this too much. I'm worried that I'll come to the conclusion that I'm heavily influenced by my mother. That's just creepy and I'd rather not think about it.

My tastes are brunette, glasses, left-handed, and no cooking ability whatsoever. I have no idea why left handed is a preference, but every girl I've ever even crushed on has been a leftie. My best guess is that it's one of those things that sets people apart at an early age and gives them an extra uniqueness to grow with.

[Syka]

This reminds me of a conversation I had with my room mate after our Halloween party. I was talking with my friend on the couch while my room mate was mopping. It went something like.
Her: "Wow, I'm down here cleaning while you two boys are just sitting around, drinking and observing."

Me: "I'm pretty sure this is a setup for a misogyny joke, but I'll just take the high road here."

Her: "Saw right through me, you are so smart..."

Me: "Of course I am, I'm a man."

To be fair I cleaned up all the err, vomit and stuff from overly ambitious friends...

Oh, and I need a girl with thick skin. :smalltongue:

I had a similar experience with a twist. Oz was filming his first real film and one of the male leads needed a place to stay, so he stayed with him. They proceeded to get in a pissing contest about who made the better tomato soup and grilled cheese (it's a favorite of both, the two of them are so similar it's creepy, down to the fact their birthdays are three days apart, but had different ways of making something so simple).

It ended up with the two of them in the kitchen making soup and grilled cheese while Oz's mom and I sat on the couch amused by the competition. It was so surreal I had to take a picture, lol.

Oz's method won, by the way. :smallwink:

[Klose_the_Sith]

Well as I stated last time, my current GF epitomises my taste in women. Has a trippy Photoshopped pic :smallbiggrin:

http://photos-b.ak.fbcdn.net/photos-ak-snc1/v2729/243/0/781827974/n781827974_2278490_4326930.jpg

I like short girls, preferably with athletic bodies. I'd also like them to be a mix of dominant :smallwink: and caring/loving. I also prefer people who are capable of being both quirky and serious as well as recognising the time for both (if they're gonna try both then they have to get this right or it won't work out). I won't really judge them based on taste in music, but if it's the overly mainstream stuff or the screechy ass J-pop type things then it will not work out. I also wouldn't want a girl who was even vaguely religious and it's preferable if she's loyal and moral to an extent, but at the same time doesn't blindly subscribe to institutions. Also she needs really pretty eyes (must have pretty eyes >.>) and it can hardly get serious if she's adverse to the things I'm involved in - sport/DnD/METAL/Warmachine/insane amounts of time spent gaming. She also needs to be easygoing as I'm generally stressful to be around lots :smallbiggrin:

The easiest part to analyse is probably the religious aspect, I was raised Catholic and sent to Catholic schools for years and hated it constantly. Then I got out of the system and ... wow. I can't believe the sort of thing I was involved in back there. Lets just say I'm never going back in and don't ever want to be involved in that sort of thing again. Religions might as well be suicide cults for all the difference it'd make to dating chances (I will not discuss this point here, don't even try).

As for the type of bodies, well I suppose it's just that I always liked feeling tall and I love being tall now. I suppose that being drawn to smaller girls is cause I've always liked that experience. Plus I have an obsession with 'cute' girls over other types and little girls are so much cuter. The obsession with being cute? I dunno, probably something to do with always really loving cute stuff and always having really cute toys etc. dunno what else could have caused it.

The personality aspects are just because I've always had trouble being accepted and so someone who understands and doesn't judge me is basically the best thing. Combine that with caring because of my nigh constant need for assurance due to various emotional problems and you've got the picture of where it all comes from.

Most of the rest is just my personal taste that isn't worth analysing - except maybe the dominant aspect, but that's a story for another time :smallwink:

[Kiero]

Before I met my wife, I had a whole set of things I thought I liked, including big breasts. Then she managed to thoroughly insinuate herself into my tastes, and even in the times we weren't together, everyone else was compared to her.

This is her being typically irreverent.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v66/Kiero/IMGP2213.jpg

Physical comes first for me, it's the primary filter. Call it shallow, call it male, but if I don't find someone physically attractive nothing is ever going to happen. "Personality" is what shapes whether or not I want to stay with someone, not whether we get together in the first place.

Ass. If someone doesn't have a round, full, dunkin' booty, I won't find them attractive. Doesn't matter what everything else is like, no ass, no interest. I have chosen not to go out with people for this reason before, flat asses just don't look right and it bugs me. I've gone from being a breast man who didn't really notice asses to an ass man who couldn't care less about breasts. Often an ass is a signifier of general physical shape, whereas breasts bear no relation to anything else.

Body proportions. Legs that are longer than her body, short legs look wierd. An actual hip:waist ratio, not straight and undefined up and down. Neither broad, manlike shoulders, nor almost non-existent ones. Shorter than me, but not by much.

Definition. Arms that have some muscle tone in them, not wispy. Thighs that are wider at the top than the bottom. A stomach that isn't hollow, ripped with a full-on sixpack, or jelly-belly. Just a normal, not-overweight distribution of fat on it. Not inactive or weak, she doesn't have to be an elite athlete, but not someone who's idea of hard exercise is walking around the shops.

In terms of colouring and whatnot, there are women of all races I find attractive but I've generally preferred white women with dark hair and light eyes. I don't like tattoos or most piercings. Nowadays they're so passe.

On the personality stuff, honesty first and foremost. I don't have time for games, I like a woman who simply tells me what she's thinking. Communicative is good. Emotional security/being low on neuroses. My wife is the least insecure woman I've ever met, that's one of the many things I love about her. People who constantly seek reassurance, or worse are jealous at everyone who even looks at you are tiresome.

Intelligence and humour. My wife is better qualified than I am, she got a first in her undergraduate degree and a Masters with distinction. Most men have been pretty intimidated by that in a relationship, I'm not. She doesn't take herself so seriously that she can't find all sorts of things funny, just like I do.

Different to me in outlook. I don't want a mimic who often thinks the same things as I do, and rarely disagrees. We've had to work really hard at communication to find common ground, because in some areas are beliefs are pretty divergent. A classic example is religion/faith. I'm a fairly convinced atheist. She has her own eclectic collection of self-compiled beliefs drawing on many religions. We find each other's differences intriguing, which helps a lot in sustaining things.

Fashion and style I'm indifferent to. I don't really care how someone dresses (my wife's tastes are much louder and more outrageous than mine), more interested in how they look naked. :smalltongue:

[Gitman00]

-While I like the above, I also find myself attracted to women who are pretty dominant/powerful/etc and who know what they want.
-It explains my attraction to Caucasian and Asian girls.


Interesting juxtaposition of traits, as in real life Asian women tend to be more submissive. Not stereotyping; just going by my own experience, and a working knowledge of several Asian cultures.

As for my own tastes:

Physical: I used to prefer dark-haired, short women with small-to-medium breasts, narrow waist, and slim-yet-curvy hips.

I speculate that it's a subconscious desire to diversify the gene pool, since I'm of average height and blond. Of course, since I met and married the love of my life, I prefer tall, blond women with large... tracts of land.

Personality: I like my women to be confident; assertive yet submissive (to me, anyway), i.e. I like her to challenge me and speak her mind, but ultimately let me have the final say. An adventurous spirit is a must, as is a strong sense of loyalty.

The personality traits are there because of my own personality... I'm pretty headstrong and don't back down very easily, and if my significant other was the dominant type, we'd constantly be fighting. I'm also very spontaneous, and I like a woman who can put up with my randomness. :smallbiggrin:

[AtomicKitKat]

Interesting juxtaposition of traits, as in real life Asian women tend to be more submissive. Not stereotyping; just going by my own experience, and a working knowledge of several Asian cultures.

It's a facade. In most Asian households, the woman controls all the finances(assuming the guy gives the money, which, from anecdotes, is about 90+% of the time, in cases where the woman is not earning any of her own), and most of the time, she's the one who decides what goes in the house(or not). Soft power, and all that.:smallbiggrin:

[Strawman]

It took me years to realize my first crush looked alot like a character from one of my favorite shows.

http://www.freewebs.com/noneedforheavenandearth/ryoko_thumbs.jpg

[Optimystik]

I don't know why I got into bears/husky guys. I like a man with some serious meat on his bones. Muscles, bulk, body hair, sweat, really gritty, preferably with a sensitive side.

I like them older, too - you tend to run into more mature folks that way. :smallbiggrin:

[Gullara]

Physical: As shallow as it sounds physical appearance play an important role in making the relationship happen in the first place. Despite this if a girl has a great personality I could get past physical appearance. As far as physical appearance goes, dark hair, nice eyes, medium breasts, nice curves, average height, and healthy weight.

Personality: This is a tough one due to my complete lack of dating experience. I would say I wouldn't be attracted to a "girly girl", I would much prefer to have a relationship with a "tom boy".Similar interest would be ideal, so pretty much gaming (RPGs) and reading (Fantasy). Family values would be preferable, so wants to get married and have kids.

Etc: Excessive drinking and/or smoking is a no no. I want to wait until I get married to have sex so that's self explanatory. And finally to top it off if we shared our religion that would be perfect.

[Dragonrider]

Yeah, religion is pretty huge for me.

[Cobra_Ikari]

Yeah, religion is pretty huge for me.

I'm completely the opposite here. I don't mind someone being of a different religion than me, unless they come off as a zealot, or are judgmental because of it.

[cycoris]

Yeah, religion is pretty huge for me.

Oh yes, me too. Dunno why I didn't think to put that in earlier... :smallconfused:

[Dragonrider]

I'm completely the opposite here. I don't mind someone being of a different religion than me, unless they come off as a zealot, or are judgmental because of it.

I don't care what religion other people adhere to, but my religion is so intrinsic to who I am and gives me such a different set of expectations on a whole variety of levels that it would just be really, really hard to marry someone not of my own religion. And I realize that the expectation of marriage illustrates the point. :smalltongue:

And there's kids. I want to have lots of kids. I want to raise them in my religion. I mean, if they choose not to follow it when they turn 15 (which is the age you get to make a formal decision) that's fine . . . but raising your children religiously is hard when you and your spouse have differing beliefs. (I know . . . I have no experience in this matter. I'm a mouthy eighteen-year-old who thinks she knows what the world's like. :smallamused: But....)

[cycoris]

I don't care what religion other people adhere to, but my religion is so intrinsic to who I am and gives me such a different set of expectations on a whole variety of levels that it would just be really, really hard to marry someone not of my own religion. And I realize that the expectation of marriage illustrates the point. :smalltongue:

And there's kids. I want to have lots of kids. I want to raise them in my religion. I mean, if they choose not to follow it when they turn 15 (which is the age you get to make a formal decision) that's fine . . . but raising your children religiously is hard when you and your spouse have differing beliefs. (I know . . . I have no experience in this matter. I'm a mouthy eighteen-year-old who thinks she knows what the world's like. :smallamused: But....)

I agree completely, but figured I'd let you say it, since a mouthy eighteen
year-old is better than a mouthy sixteen-year-old.

To add to this, I'd like my future spouse person to want children, and agree with me on how to educate them (i.e. homeschooling). :smalltongue:

[Gullara]

It took me years to realize my first crush looked alot like a character from one of my favorite shows.

http://www.freewebs.com/noneedforheavenandearth/ryoko_thumbs.jpg

With that hair style :smalleek:


Having a family is very important to me. Actually If I had one goal in life having a family would be it.

[Dr. Bath]

The thing with having views about things like religion and schooling as the clincher for a relationship is that you'll either end up with an appathetic partner or have to have one with exactly the same views (much harder to find) *stuff about having a mixed religion family, probably not board suitable* in closing I think starting out with fixed ideas for a partner is perhaps not the best way to go about it. At least it's that way for me.

[Ormagoden]

Following the vein of the OP

Here are some of my influences.
On a side note...can you guess how old I am from these movies?

http://i10.photobucket.com/albums/a146/Ngreder/legend_03.jpg
http://i10.photobucket.com/albums/a146/Ngreder/sarah.jpg
http://i10.photobucket.com/albums/a146/Ngreder/leia.jpg
http://i10.photobucket.com/albums/a146/Ngreder/ali.jpg
http://i10.photobucket.com/albums/a146/Ngreder/kerrigreen.jpg
http://i10.photobucket.com/albums/a146/Ngreder/lastdragon6.jpg
http://i10.photobucket.com/albums/a146/Ngreder/80girl10.jpg
http://i10.photobucket.com/albums/a146/Ngreder/bigtrouble103.jpg
http://i10.photobucket.com/albums/a146/Ngreder/lea023.jpg

[Unahim]

I don't care what religion other people adhere to, but my religion is so intrinsic to who I am and gives me such a different set of expectations on a whole variety of levels that it would just be really, really hard to marry someone not of my own religion. And I realize that the expectation of marriage illustrates the point. :smalltongue:

And there's kids. I want to have lots of kids. I want to raise them in my religion. I mean, if they choose not to follow it when they turn 15 (which is the age you get to make a formal decision) that's fine . . . but raising your children religiously is hard when you and your spouse have differing beliefs. (I know . . . I have no experience in this matter. I'm a mouthy eighteen-year-old who thinks she knows what the world's like. :smallamused: But....)

Are you Wiccan by any chance?

Your avatar and the way you talk about the subject in general gives me this feeling.
Cycoris gives me the same vibe.

[Dragonrider]

Are you Wiccan by any chance?

Your avatar and the way you talk about the subject in general gives me this feeling.
Cycoris gives me the same vibe.

HAHAHA. No. :smalltongue:



@Bath: Yeah, I understand that . . . but it's just . . . intrinsic is the word I think I used before. The reason for most things I do and "exactly the same" isn't what I'm looking for, but with anyone of my religion, there's an immediate baseline because even though there is a huge variety of cultural and political backgrounds, certain things (it's hard to talk about this here!) don't change.

And I won't go any further than that because this is, after all, an iffy topic on this board. :smalltongue:

[Solaris]

I don't care what religion other people adhere to, but my religion is so intrinsic to who I am and gives me such a different set of expectations on a whole variety of levels that it would just be really, really hard to marry someone not of my own religion. And I realize that the expectation of marriage illustrates the point. :smalltongue:

And there's kids. I want to have lots of kids. I want to raise them in my religion. I mean, if they choose not to follow it when they turn 15 (which is the age you get to make a formal decision) that's fine . . . but raising your children religiously is hard when you and your spouse have differing beliefs. (I know . . . I have no experience in this matter. I'm a mouthy eighteen-year-old who thinks she knows what the world's like. :smallamused: But....)

It's a big one for me, too. I'm at least somewhat tolerant of religion and I do make an effort at learning the customs and courtesies of most religions/cultures, but if I ever do breed my offspring are gonna come up the same way I came up. If I were to, say, marry an atheistic girl that would be a problem for her, and probably one that would kill the deal.

Political views being at least compatible are important, especially if you're dating a Poli Sci major. I credit politics (among other things) to helping end my last relationship.

[thorgrim29]

I wouldn't mind a religious girl, we would just both need to acknowledge that our belief (teapot agnostic myself BTW) is just as likely as the others and move on (snowball's chance in hell with all but the most moderate ones but what can you do).

Physically.... the girl needs to be at least average looking (I'm not too picky but there has to be some attraction right?), not too fat and reasonably athletic (I like watching (and feeling) the movement of muscles under the skin when a girl moves, weird I know), with average to large-ish breasts. I tend to prefer brown hair and hazel eyes, but that's far from a constant. The ideal height would be tall enough that she brushes my armpits with her head, so somewhere around 5'7 I guess. She should be funny (and tolerant of bad jokes), smart, open minded and appreciative of the finer things in life (good food, good drinks, good book, movies, music, etc). This is pretty important, she should be able to have a debate without getting mad, I tend to have clear cut opinions and am very snarky, but in most cases I don't hold another person's opinions against them. Basically, I want someone I would be able to call a friend were we not dating (that and my pathetic fear of rejection and breaking the status quo lead to my poor romantic track record, but that's a whole other story and this is not the place for it).

[AtomicKitKat]

Lost Fang: Older than me. I think. You're likely in your mid-30s.

Religion: I'm officially(on my ID) a "free-thinker"(government code for "no religion listed"). Unofficially, I follow my own mixed code of conduct, heavily influenced by a combination of being brought up Taoist, then Buddhist(my parents couldn't seem to decide as well, I guess), as well as most of my English(my favourite subject) teachers being Christian. Ideally, I'd like a girl who's pretty laisez faire about religion(for myself, I observe maybe 3 or 4 Taoist festivals/events a year, but I still eat beef, sometimes drink, so...).

Smoking can be worked on(they've recently stumbled on some kind of "vaccine" which allows the body's antibodies to attach onto nicotine, preventing the "pleasure" of dopamine release in the brain, so a cure for smoking is within 10 years!). Drinking, well, as long as you realise that puking into your own hair is far from "fun", moderation. I'm not a big fan of drug use(even if it's in your past, if you used them a lot, the damage is more or less permanent, and brain damage via drugs is a huge turn-off for me).

Sooo, more "abstract" measurements.

Intelligence: She should ideally be smart enough to help me catch my mistakes before I publically announce them, as well as able to "get" the kinds of jokes I make with my brother(well, some of more out-of-this-world ones can never really be explained). Also, preferrably able to keep a track of her finances(I've recently started keeping a notebook of my daily expenses again, in an effort to reign in excessive spending). Bonus points if she can do the whole "Sandra Bullock hiding behind glasses sexy librarian" look. Whether or not she actually needs glasses.:smallbiggrin:

Sensitivity: This is tricky. I'm not a "girly-man", but things that bring tears to my eyes(beyond the obvious physical pain sources):

In the Monster Rancher anime:
When Big Blue sacrificed himself to resurrect Pixie as Granity

In Buffy Season 2:
When she stabs Angelus with the big sword
and Season 6:
When Xander manages to talk Willow down from a global meltdown

In Gundam Seed:
When Mwu La Fllaga takes the Positron Cannon to the face, while spouting his famous "Impossible Man" quote.

In Gundam Seed Destiny:
When the Destroy Gundam first rises out of the ship.When the Destroy Gundam first transforms from Mobile Armour to Mobile Suit form. Yeah, this one was more tears of admiration than sorrow.:smalltongue: Also, when Neo repeats the same feat as above, in a more suitable suit.

And just to be obvious, Bambi.:smallbiggrin:

[Kiero]

Smoking can be worked on(they've recently stumbled on some kind of "vaccine" which allows the body's antibodies to attach onto nicotine, preventing the "pleasure" of dopamine release in the brain, so a cure for smoking is within 10 years!).

You've just reminded me of something that overrides everything else for me: I won't touch a smoker with a barge pole. Don't care if they say they're quitting, no interest.

[Anuan]

As far as physicality goes, my ideal is short and curvy. Especially if they're just the right height that you can cuddle them and use their head as a head-rest. Awesome.

Pretty sure this is because this is the shape the girl who gave me my first kiss was.

Or, maybe she was just the first example of it. Either way, woo for short curvy chicks.

As far as non-physicality goes, I'm apparently attracted to anyone who'll crush my spirit and break my heart people that show more opposites than similarities with me, but share a number of certain traits that will prevent me from hating them.

[Ormagoden]

Lost Fang: Older than me. I think. You're likely in your mid-30s.


:smallsigh:

TEARS! T.T

[GoC]

A brief look revealed my tastes to be a lot more complicated than I thought they were. This will take time...

[ghost_warlock]

I've spent a significant amount of time analyzing this issue and could write a lengthy and intricately detailed post about it...but I honestly don't think it'd be all that interesting for anyone to actually read! :smalltongue:

Suffice to say, I'm attracted to women who are close to my own body type (tall and slender) because it just makes the intimate mechanics of a relationship more comfortable. Unfortunately, the tallest woman I've ever dated was still at least a foot shorter than me.

Throughout most of high school I was strongly attracted to the lighter spectrum of brunette hair. Towards the end of high school and into college, however, my tastes changed towards red/auburn. I mostly attribute this to celebrity crushes on Lea Thompson (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lea_Thompson) and Alyson Hannigan (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alyson_Hannigan) as well as a strong emotional tie to a red-haired friend of mine. Recently, the pendulum is starting to swing back towards brunette thanks largely to Zooey Deschanel (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zooey_Deschanel).

So far as facial structure is concerned, I prefer roundish faces and "cute" features to looks better described as elegant, handsome, or statuesque.

I have a fondness for green and hazel eyes, but it isn't particularly strong. Though I tend to notice hair color and facial shape before any other characteristics, I could spend great lengths of time gazing into an attractive pair of eyes. As such, this photo (http://i461.photobucket.com/albums/qq339/ghost_warlock/zooey_deschanel-1.jpg) is the bane of my existence due to the time I've wasted oggling it! It's heartbreaking for me, really. :smallfrown:

Beliefs and personality are very critical for me. Though I'm attracted to many women, I can completely dismiss the possibility of a relationship with the vast majority simply because of incompatibility in these areas. Though I don't think I'm particularly difficult to live with, my quirky sense of humor and strong need for affection appear to be a bit exasperating for more mainstream, less-touchy women. Additionally, someone with different political/religious views from me will find me very difficult to live with as these are a major part of who I identify myself as.

Aaaaaaaand I could say more but I've already detailed way more than I wanted/intended to so I'll stop there.

[AtomicKitKat]

:smallsigh:

TEARS! T.T

Why? Too accurate? Not accurate enough? Too much older than your actual age? Too much younger?:smallconfused:

[Gullara]

I have a fondness for green and hazel eyes, but it isn't particularly strong. Though I tend to notice hair color and facial shape before any other characteristics, I could spend great lengths of time gazing into an attractive pair of eyes. As such, this photo (http://i461.photobucket.com/albums/qq339/ghost_warlock/zooey_deschanel-1.jpg) is the bane of my existence due to the time I've wasted oggling it! It's heartbreaking for me, really. :smallfrown:


Wow those are nice eyes.

[alchemyprime]

Hm...

Lemme see here.


I do prefer Asian and Caucasian gals. Pika, we are at odds!
I prefer curvier gals, but not to the far extreme. And not saying I haven't seen some interesting thin girls. Its more proportion honestly. I blame my second grade teacher for this, introducing me to Renaissance art and Boroque beauty.
I'm a bad person... I like top heavy girls, I'll admit... but Hourglass will always be m favorite.
I prefer a girl who can be independent, strong willed, powerful, but also when things get overwhelming she won't bottle it up. She'll come to me and won't mind when I come to her for the same reasons. We all need a good cry some times.
I hate being manipulated and deceived. HATE IT.
I like the nerdy girls. If they wanna light my fires, they start talking video games, anime, comics (oh god, yes on comics...), or my favorite, D&D. One o my favorite scenes is Roy and Celia saying game rules for just walking down the street holding hands.
Who influenced this? Renaissance art, Sailor Mercury, Jupiter and Venus (Moon never did it for me...), Jade from Green Lantern/JSA, Power Girl, ex-girlfriends (mainly the first one), the art of Masamune Shirow, the girls of Soul Calibur and Skies of Arcadia, Princess Zelda, and the art in the 2e D&D books really. Kinda odd, I know.


God, I am such a nerd...
But, um... if any girls kinda like what I said here... you can always PM me... if you want...