Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

[The Dark Fiddler]

Hello, and welcome to the fourth Crack Pairings thread. If you haven't read the previous ones yet, you can do so here (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=111631), here, (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=125046) and here. (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=129876)

Or, if you don't wish to read through all 149 pages, here's the short version: we have a roller and some tables. You roll a pairing, and maybe a plot device, then you write it, draw it, act it out, interpretive dance it, whatever! Apparently we like this sort of thing.

Please remember to keep it clean, folks! The board rules still apply!

When posting a pairing, please at least try to do something with it. We like it when people try!

New: Sure, we won't be winning any Oscars or anything, but that doesn't mean we can't have our own little awards. (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showpost.php?p=7294650&postcount=610)

Should you wish to roll a pairing, Sgeo coded up a roller for us. (http://sgeo.diagonalfish.net/crack_pairings.htm) If you want that personal touch, go roll on the tables, or make up your own pairing!

Banners!


Image hosting sites only allow pictures to get a small amount of bandwidth. If you could, please upload banners to an account of your own to not use as much bandwidth for our talented artists, 'less all the beautiful banners disappear.

Text:
http://i920.photobucket.com/albums/ad44/ZanarilOOTS/bannermain.png

Zanaril's
http://i920.photobucket.com/albums/ad44/ZanarilOOTS/bannerdurkonxlien.png

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http://i920.photobucket.com/albums/ad44/ZanarilOOTS/bannerxykonxmiko.png

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Funky Goose's

http://i840.photobucket.com/albums/zz327/funkygoose/image3655.png

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Discord's

http://i697.photobucket.com/albums/vv331/Discordd/OotS/VaH-banner.png

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http://i697.photobucket.com/albums/vv331/Discordd/OotS/MikoxHaleybanner1.png

http://i697.photobucket.com/albums/vv331/Discordd/OotS/VxMikobanner1.png

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http://i697.photobucket.com/albums/vv331/Discordd/OotS/CeliaxHaleybanner1.png

Saeyan
http://i840.photobucket.com/albums/zz327/funkygoose/image2856.png

rangermania
http://i152.photobucket.com/albums/s173/rangermania/crackp_DurnKub.jpg

Trixie
http://www.imageboo.com/files/95079bzojhkvu1pstjgl.png

MReav
http://i248.photobucket.com/albums/gg192/Cherpet/Avatar/VCPSArtist.png

http://i248.photobucket.com/albums/gg192/Cherpet/Mini-MikoxRedcloak.png

Kaytara
http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y120/kaytara/crackbanner.png

http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y120/kaytara/vrcbabybanner2.png

half-halfling
http://i750.photobucket.com/albums/xx144/half-halfling/banner.png

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Tables!

Initial Table
Roll 2d6 (or more!) decide which tables to pick the characters from.

OotS Table 1
OotS Table 2
OotS Table 3
OotS Table 4
Minion List
Dead Guy List


Table 1 - By Minion992929

Roy
Durkon
Celia
Xykon
Tsukiko
Vaarsuvius
Monster in The Dark
Miko
Nale
Elan
Haley
Belkar
Lord Shojo
Redcloak
Hinjo
Daigo
Kazumi
Inkyrius
Roll again twice
Roll again and switch gender


Table 2 - By Minion 992929

The Guy with a halberd
Sarah Greenhilt
Haley's dad
Thanh
Julio Scoundrél
Mr. Rodriguez
Horace Greenhilt
Therkla
Zz'Dtri
YokYok
Leeky Windstaff
The Cliffport chief of police
Windstriker
Jirix
Lien
Argent
Yor
Roll again twice
Roll again on twice on Initial Table
Roll again and switch gender


Table 3 - By Minion992929

Soon Kim (incorporeal)
Shadowdancer
Hilgya
Dorukan
Bozzok
Crystal
Bandit King
Ancient Black Dragon
O-Chul
The Snarl
The Eye of Fear and Flame
Lord Kubota
Thog
Julia Greenhilt
Belkar
The oracle
Jephton/Haerta/Ganneron
Roll again twice on Initial Table
Roll again twice
Roll again and switch gender


Table 4 - By Minion 992929

The dragon's hoard
The chimera
The really dangerous trap
Roy's Archon
The Hydra
Teevo
Xykon's zombie dragon head
Roy's sword
The entire Hobgoblin army
The orc chieftain
The IFCC
Durkon while under the effects of Thor's might
Mr Scruffy
Hieronymus Grubwiggler
All of the Demon Roaches at once
Bone golem Roy
Roll again twice
Roll again on Tables 1, 2, and 3
Roll again twice on Initial Table
Roll again and switch gender


Minion List -Made By MReav

Goblin
Hobgoblin
Kobold
Ogre
Lizardfolk
Bug-people
Azure City Soldier
Bandit or Thieves Guild Member
Orc
Owlbear
Troll (flip coin to determine land or sea)
Zombie
Ghoul
City Guardsman
Angel-thing
Ghost Martyr
Roll again on another table.
Roll again twice
Roll Again and invert alignment
Roll again for minion army


Dead Guy List -Made By MReav

Samantha
Sangwaan
Hobgoblin General
Azure City General
Death Knight
Huecva
Trigak
Earth Dungeon Guardian
Fire Dungeon Guardian
Kraagor
Mijung
Eugene Greenhilt
Old Blind Pete
Giant Devil
Buggy-Lou
Isamu.
Roll Again on a different table
Roll Again Twice
Roll Again and Switch Gender
Roll again. If you roll this option twice in a row: Eastern Pantheon and World 1.0


Supplemental Plot Devices (Optional!) - By Nerdanel

Unrequited love
Love potion
Drunkenness
Snowed in
Stuck on a desert island
In the afterlife
Aliens Made Them Do It (not necessarily literal aliens)
True love
Love/hate relationship
Adultery
Pregnancy (use male pregnancy if needed)
Pink frills and white lace
French maid costume
Police/military uniform
High heels and black leather
American high school setting
Someone is a vampire
Everyone is a furry version of themselves
Kidnapped (By somebody inside or outside of the pairing)
Roll again twice




Of course, feel free to make up your own pairings!

[Lira]

Crack Pairings Story Index

Stories by Asta Kask

OOTS in Die Walküre
Elves and Ears
Stories by badam104172

Hinjo/Argent
Jirix/Redcloak
Stories by baf

Inkyrius/Zz'dtri
Stories by BatRobin

Belkar/Eye of Fear and Flame
Hilgya/YokYok
Julio Scoundrel/Entire Hobgolbin Army
Therkla/Vaarsuvius
Tsukiko/Jirix
Thog/Julio Scoundrel
Redcloak/Lien/Xykon [Part 1]
Redcloak/Lien/Xykon [Part 2]
Nale/Inkyrius
Xykon/Xykon
Stories by Belkster11

Roy/Elan [Part 1]
Roy/Elan [Part 2]
Roy/Elan [Part 3]
Hilgya/Inkyrius
Haley/Blackwing
Nale/Miko [Part 1]
Nale/Miko [Part 2]
Roy/MiTD
Stories by The Blackbird

Oracle/Flesh Golem Roy
Stories by TheBibliophile

Xykon/Miko
Vaarsuvius/Haley
Vaarsuvius/Haley [Continued]
Vaarsuvius/The Lizardfolk Whores
Stories by CheeseMuncher

Redcloak/O-Chul
Tsukiko/Redcloak
Teevo/Hieronymus Grubwiggler
Roy/Roy's Archon
Roy's Sword/Nale
Belkar/Vaarsuvius
Elan/Vaarsuvius [Part 1]
Elan/Vaarsuvius [Part 2]
Redcloak/Tsukiko [Part 1]
Redcloak/Tsukiko [Part 2]
Redcloak/Tsukiko [Part 3]
Redcloak/The Snarl
Miko/Haley
Jeff/Hilgya
Vaarsuvius/Aarindarius
Vaarsuvius/Everyone [Part 2]
Stories by Cire II

Miko/Durkon
Stories by ClericOfBelker

Gender-swapped OOTS [Part "2"]
Gender-swapped OOTS [Part 3]
Gender-swapped OOTS [Part 4]
Gender-swapped OOTS [Part 5]
Gender-swapped OOTS [Part 6]
Belkar/Roy
O-Chul/ABD
Elan/Belkar/Haley/Roy
Roy/ABD
Closak/Black Dragons
Stories by Closak

Roy/Belkar/Ancient Black Dragon
ABD
ABD/Haley
ABD/Jirix
ABD/Redcloak
ABD/Redcloak
Stories by CoffeeIncluded

Elan/Julio Scoundrel
O-Chul/Lien
Haley/Roy's Sword and Sara Greenhilt/Soon Kim
Inkyrius/Belkar
Julia/Pompey
Pompey/Sabine
Xykon/Roy's Sword
Belkar/Hinjo
Crystal/Vaarsuvius
Zz'Drti/Nale
Shojo/Aarindarius
Daigo/Kubota
Vaarsuvius/IFCC
OOTS/Giant Sand Worm
Mr. Scruffy/Vaarsuvius
ABD/Guy with the Halberd
Elan/Cactus
Inkyrius/Inkyrius/Vaarsuvius/Vaarsuvius
Haley/Hanukkah Gelt
Miko/Inkyrius
Vaarsuvius/Durkon
Vaarsuvius/Elan/Haley
Stories by Cracklord

Miko/Durkon
Inkyrius/Bozzok
O-Chul/Thog
Therkla/Crystal
Nale/The Shadow Dancer/Soulsplice
Tsukiko/Soon
Leeky Windstaff/Lord Kubota
Teevo/Thanh
O-Chul/Chief Grukgruk
Bozzok/Tsukiko/Crystal
Nale/Hinjo/O-Chul/Julia
Xykon/Thog
Edward Cullen/Harry Potter/Raistlin Majere/Xykon/Tsukiko/Lien/Stanley the Tool/Winston Churchill
Xykon/Julio Scoundrel
Belkar/Jenny
Eugene/Ydranna
Bozzok/Haley
Lord Shojo/Julio Scoundrel
Durkon/Lien
Durkon/Lien
Durkon/Lien
Durkon/Lien
Durkon/Lien [The Beginning]
Julia Greenhilt/Xykon
Bozzok/Zz'Dtri
Julia/Roy's Sword
Durkon/Lien
Roy/Sabine
Shojo/Miko
Durkon/Lien
Belkar in Hell [Part 1]
Belkar in Hell [Part 2]
Belkar in Hell [Part 3]
Belkar in Hell [Part 4]
Belkar in Hell [Part 5]
Soon Kim/Mijung
Durkon/Lien
The OOTS in Girard's Gate [Part 1]
The OOTS in Girard's Gate [Part 2]
The OOTS in Girard's Gate [Part 3]
The OOTS in Girard's Gate [Part 4]
The OOTS in Girard's Gate [Part 5]
The OOTS in Girard's Gate [Part 6]
The OOTS in Girard's Gate [Part 7]

Stories by CurlyKitGirl

Elan/Banjo
Banjo/Haley
Sabine/Haley
Stories by Dak Frostwrath

Redcloak/Haley/Zz'dtri/Crystal/Hieronymus Grubwiggler
Stories by The Dark Fiddler

Roy/Redcloak
MiTD/Entitre Hobgoblin Army
Celia/Gender-Flipped Celia
Crystal/Argent
Miko/Vaarsuvius
Nale/Tsukiko
The Oracle/Zz'Dtri
Stories by DarkElfGangsta

Julia/Nale
Stories by Dark_Stryke

Not for Everyone
Roy/Miko [Part 1]
Roy/Miko [Part 2]
Roy/Miko [Part 3]
Roy/Miko [Part 4]
Stories by Discord

Miko/Vaarsuvius
Miko/Vaarsuvius
Vaarsuvius/Zz'dtri
Vaarsuvius/Mother Black Dragon
Miko/Vaarsuvius
Jirix/Tsukiko
Vaarsuvius/Haley
Roy/Celia
Vaarsuvius/Miko
Vaarsuvius/Haley
Vaarsuvius/Vaarsuvius
Vaarsuvius/Haley [Part 2] [Continuation of ShinyDelusion's story]
Stories by doliest

IFCC/Crystal
Windstriker/The Bandit King
Belkar/YokYok
Doliest/Dracula
Vaarsuvius/Aarindarius [Part 1]
Vaarsuvius/Aarindarius [Part 2]
Snarl/Haley/O-Chul
Stories by Dra-Goon

Xykon/Kazumi
Sarah Greenhilt/Roy's Archon
Celia/Mr Scruffy
The Eye of Fear and Flame/Haley
Roy's Sword/Bone Golem Roy
Ancient Black Dragon/Tsukiko/Monster in the Dark
Haley/Vaarsuvius/Durkon
Stories by Dr.Gunsforhands

Roy/Belkar
Stories by Elan's Modron

Modron/Slaad
Stories by Elvenblade

Redcloak/Jirix
Stories by esmerelder

Roy/Vaarsuvius
Girard/Serini
Girard/Serini
Gender-swapped Order of the Stick
OOTS/OOTS
Haley/Hank
Body-swapped OOTS [Part 1]
Body-swapped OOTS [Part 2]
Body-swapped OOTS [Part 3]
V/Belkar Spawnfic
Stories by Expeditious

Bone Golem Roy/Nale
Stories by Forevernade

Flesh Golem Roy/Crystal
Stories by Gimliggamer

Frodo/Entire Hobgoblin Army/Sam/Harry Potter
Elan/Redcloak
Stories by golentan

Mr. Rodriguez/Windstriker
Stories by Hijax

The Oracle/The Really Dangerous Trap
Stories by Introbulus

The Cliffport Chief of Police/Kazumi
Hydra/Lien
Tsukiko/Roy's Archon
Lord Shojo/Jirix
Durokan/Haley
Belkar/Hinjo
Haley/Crystal
Kazumi/Durkon
Stories by jogiff

Tsukiko/Miko/Redcloak
Stories by Kaytara

Mr. Scruffy/The Snarl
Ancient Black Dragon/Inkyrius
IFCC Fiends/The Chimera Trigak
Banjo/Giggles
Vaarsuvius and Durkon [Part 1]
Vaarsuvius and Durkon [Part 2]
ABD and Vaarsuvius
Belkar/Vaarsuvius
Stories by Kill Screen

Miko/Elan
Stories by Kirby

Celia/Vaarsuvius
Xykon/MiTD
Haley/Vaarsuvius
Soul Spliced Elan/Haley
Stories by Kitteh

Roy/Eye of Fear and Flame
Mr. Scruffy/Windstriker
Stories by Kobold-Bard

Leeky Windstaff/The Eye of Fear and Flame
Nale/Elan
Stories by Kraggi

Incorporeal Soon Kim/Mr. Scruffy
Stories by Kyronea

Haley/Durkon
Stories by Lawyergoblin

Brown-cloak/Haley
Redcloak/Celia [Part 1]
Redcloak/Celia [Part 2]
Stories by lindorm

Soon Kim/Jirix
Stories by Lollie

Belkar/Tsukiko
Stories by Lycan 01

Orc Chief Grukgruk/Haley/Kazumi
The Guy With the Halberd/Demon Roaches/Hydra
Daigo/Kubota
Yor/Belkar
Kazumi/Therkla
O-Chul/IFCC
Miko/Redcloak
Miko/Redcloak [Continued]
The Eye of Fear and Flame/Haley
Blackwing/Mr. Scruffy
Hinjo/Redcloak
Crystal/The Chimera
Belkar/Roy's Sword
Vaarsuvius/Ciaphas Cain [Part 1]
Vaarsuvius/Ciaphas Cain [Part 2]
Vaarsuvius/Ciaphas Cain [Part 3]
Vaarsuvius/Ciaphas Cain [Part 4]
Vaarsuvius/Ciaphas Cain [Part 5]
Vaarsuvius/Elan
Stories by MagicianMan5

Shadowdancer/Soul Splices
Haley/Vaarsuvius
Stories by Malkar Grumbo

Miko/Tsukiko [Chapter 1]
Miko/Tsukiko [Chapter 2]
Miko/Tsukiko [Chapter 3]
Miko/Tsukiko [Chapter 4]
Stories by MasamuneSSX

Miko/MiTD
Durkon/Sabine
Miko/Sabine
Miko/The Oracle
Miko/Vaarsuvius
ABD/The Oracle
Entire Hobgoblin Army/All The Demon Roaches
Stories by Metalhead

Roy/Julia
Stories by mizzim

Haley/Nale
ABD/Miko
Stories by Monzach

Yokyok/Kobold Girl
Redcloak/Jirix
Stories by Moofin Bard

Therkla/Diago/Lien/Crystal/The Hydra
Mr. Scruffy/Belkar
Mr. Scruffy/Belkar [Continued]
Stories by Moon_Called

Haley/The Oracle
Stories by MReav

Tsukiko/Flesh Golem Roy
Stories by Mr. Cales

Nale/Eastern Pantheon
Girard/Soon
Stories by NamonakiRei

The Snarl/Roy
Sarah Greenhilt/O-Chul
Miko/Oracle
Stories by Nathander

Celia/Thog
Lien/Hobgoblin Army
Daigo/Yokyok
Miko/Therka [Part 1]
Miko/Therka [Part 2]
Stories by NemoUtopia

Vaarsuvius/Black Dragon
Stories by Nerdanel

Male Sarah Greenhilt/Female Zz'dtri/IFCC
Stories by The Odor

Shojo/Miko
Argent/Razor
Blackwing/Haley
Gender-switched Oracle/Oracle
Haley/Lien
Vaarsuvius/Everyone [Part 3]
Stories by Omergideon

Vaarsuvius/Inkyrius
Stories by Pid6

Sarah Greenhilt/Hydra
Julio Scoundrel/Lord Shojo/Horace Greenhilt/Durokan/The IFCC
Stories by pnewman

Lien/Thog
Stories by PsychoPat

Nale/Haley and Elan/Celia
Haley/Vampire Shadowdancer
Redcloak/Tsukiko/Julio Scoundrel
Thog/Sabine
Thog/Sabine [Continued]
Thog/Sabine [Continued]
Thog/Sabine [Continued]
Stories by Ronnoc

Haley/Roy
Stories by RPGAgmJAY

O'Chul/Archon
Stories by Saeyan

Vaarsuvius/Aarindarius
Stories by SaintRidley

Celia/TiVo
Stories by Sequinox

Spongebob/Julio Scoundrel
Mr. Scruffy/Dangerous Trap
Stories by Sereg

Roy/Celia
Xykon/Celia
Stories by Sewblon

Redcloak/Xykon
Stories by ShinyDelusion

Julia/Thog
Vaarsuvius/Haley/Elan [Part 1]
Vaarsuvius/Haley/Elan [Part 3] [Continuation from Discord's part]
Stories by Silverraptor

Belkar/Nale
Miko/Hinjo
Inkyrius [Part 1], [Part 2], [Part 3], [Part 4]
Julia/Celia
Crystal/Belkar
Haley's Dream
Guy with the Halberd/Girl with the Halberd
Kazumi/Daigo
Kubota/Lien
Ceila/Mr Rodriguez
Tsukiko/Oracle
Elan/Vaarsuvius
Stories by Somniloquist

Nale/Therkla
Stories by Sstoopidtallkid

Sabine/Vaarsuvius
Mr. Scruffy/Scorpion
Stories by Taekwondodo

Hinjo/Zz'dtri
Bozzak/Mr Rodriguez
Elan/The Cliffport Chief of Police
Therkla/Julio Scoundrel
Nale/Julio Scoundrel
Thanh/Female NPC
Windstriker/Argent
Edward/Tsukiko
Trigak/Sunken Valley Hydra [Part 1]
Trigak/Sunken Valley Hydra [Part 2]
Stories by Tatterdemalion

Miko/Soon Kim
Windstriker/Celia
Thog/Ian Starshine
MiTD/Haley
Nale/The Entire Hobgoblin Army
Stories by Thor Person Guy

Kazumi/Lord Shojo
Stories by Tira-chan

Roy/Elan
Therkla/Nale/Sabine
Haley/Mr. Scruffy
Stories by TooManySecrets

Roy/Xykon
Stories by TSED

Julia Greenhilt/The Chimera
Stories by waterpenguin43

Sabine/Vaarsuvius
Hilgya/Durkon
Miko/Tsukiko
Stories by Water-Smurf

In the Arms of Morpheus
Redcloak/Vaarsuvius [Part 1]
Redcloak/Vaarsuvius [Part 2]
Redcloak/Vaarsuvius [Part 3]
Redcloak/Vaarsuvius [Part 4]
Redcloak/Vaarsuvius [Part 5]
Redcloak/Vaarsuvius [Part 6]
Redcloak/Vaarsuvius [Part 7]
Redcloak/Vaarsuvius [Part 8]
Redcloak/Vaarsuvius [Part 9]
Redcloak/Vaarsuvius [Part 10]
Redcloak/Vaarsuvius [Part 11]
Redcloak/Vaarsuvius [Part 12]
Redcloak/Vaarsuvius [Part 13]
Icelus
Vaarsuvius
Curse of Phobetor
Redcloak/Vaarsuvius [Part 1]
Redcloak/Vaarsuvius [Part 2]
Redcloak/Vaarsuvius [Part 3]
Redcloak/Vaarsuvius [Part 4]
Redcloak/Vaarsuvius [Part 5]
Redcloak/Vaarsuvius [Part 6]
Redcloak/Vaarsuvius [Part 7]
Redcloak/Vaarsuvius [Part 8]
Redcloak/Vaarsuvius [Part 9]
Redcloak/Vaarsuvius [Part 10]
Redcloak/Vaarsuvius [Part 11]
Redcloak/Vaarsuvius [Part 12]
Redcloak/Vaarsuvius [Part 13]

Tragedy of Hypnos
Redcloak/V Spawnfic [Part 1]
Redcloak/V Spawnfic [Part 2]
Pasithea's Messenger
Redcloak/V Spawnfic [Part 1]
Redcloak/V Spawnfic [Part 2]
Redcloak/V Spawnfic [Part 3]
Redcloak/V Spawnfic [Part 4]
Redcloak/V Spawnfic [Part 5]
Redcloak/V Spawnfic [Part 6]
Redcloak/V Spawnfic [Part 7]
Redcloak/V Spawnfic [Part 8] (http://water-smurf.deviantart.com/art/Pasithea-s-Messenger-Chapter-148341185)
In Vino Veritas
Belkar/Vaarsuvius
Acta Non Verba
Belkar/Vaarsuvius [Part 1]
Belkar/Vaarsuvius [Part 2]
Pawns of the Gods
Mijung/Yutrin? [Part 1]
Mijung/Yutrin? [Part 2]
Mijung/Yutrin? [Part 3]
Stories by Weimann

Jephton/Haetra/Ganonron/Julia Greenhilt/Jirix
Overpriced Apple Girl/The Most Awesome Pickpockets In The ENTIRE WORLD!
Overpriced Apple Girl/The Most Awesome Pickpockets In The ENTIRE WORLD! [Continued]
Stories by WhereamI?

Belkar/Vaarsuvius
Stories by Xesirin

Daigo/Elan
Miko/Daigo
Stories by yubel

Stewie Griffin/Thog
Stories by Zanaril

Male Sarah Greenhilt/Female Zz'dtri/IFCC
Xykon/Vaarsuvius
Therkla/Belkar/Tsukiko
Therkla/Belkar/Tsukiko [Continued]
Mr Rodrigez/Gender-Swiched Mr Rodrigez
Vaarsuvius/Zz'dtri [continuation of Discord's story]
Vaarsuvius/Zz'dtri
Aarindarius/Inkyrius
Aarindarius/Inkyrius
Aarindarius/Inkyrius
Aarindarius/Inkyrius
Blackwing/Lizard Vaarsuvius
The IFCC/Zombie Dragon Head
Vaarsuvius/The Snarl
Vaarsuvius/Inkyrius/Aarindarius
Vaarsuvius/Haerta [Part 1]
Vaarsuvius/Haerta [Part 2]
Vaarsuvius/Haley/Vaarsuvius
Tass/Crack Pairings Thread
Vaarsuvius/Julio Scoundrel
Closak/ABD
Vaarsuvius/Everyone [Part 1]
Vaarsuvius/Everyone [Part 4]
Stories by Zen_Heart

Belkar/Zz'dtri
Belkar/Zz'dtri [Continued]
Belkar/Zz'dtri [Continued]
Stories by Ziren

Tsukiko/Durkon
Tsukiko/Lord Kubota
Cliffport Chief/Nale
Bandit King/Redcloak
Stories by Zolkabro

Durkon/Demon Roach

[Lira]

Crack Pairings Art Compilation
A compilation of the art made specifically for the Crack Pairings Thread.


Art by BatRobin

http://i35.tinypic.com/2m29wkg.png
Tiasal (version one).

http://i45.tinypic.com/9gh7qd.png
Tiasal (version two).



Art by Belkster11

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v307/LinktheZora/GAH.png
Sangwaan and Hinjo.



Art by CheeseMuncher

http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3536/3878328526_745d43c948_m.jpg
Vaarsuvius and Redcloak.

http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3435/3878617451_1cd23c8772_m.jpg
Belkar.

http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2557/3932510166_c526e4eccf.jpg
Vaarsuvius and Redcloak.

http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2641/3931732165_ee28b67b0e.jpg
Vaarsuvius and Roy.

http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2672/3939118618_44f0e537bf.jpg
Xykon and Redcloak.

http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2599/3942544402_59b0951702.jpg
Redcloak and Vaarsuvius.

http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2485/3953356579_a7620e5547.jpg
Tsukiko and Redcloak.

http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3452/3963417589_a1a6f4c1eb.jpg
Tsukiko and Redcloak (coloured version).

http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2510/3954135652_dcbb26922e.jpg
Spliced Inkyrius.

http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2445/3954135712_8542b56208.jpg
Vaarsuvius.

http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3520/4035798224_c6c54607c4_o.jpg
Child of Redcloak and Vaarsuvius.

http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2781/4061854758_212cd024aa_m.jpg
Child of Redcloak and Vaarsuvius.

http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2628/4151291716_dab0323b09.jpg
Celia and Vaarsuvius.

http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2518/4166659005_d03feb44e7.jpg
Redcloak and Xykon.




Art by CoffeeIncluded

http://i909.photobucket.com/albums/ac294/caffeineincluded/SantasWorkshop.png
Inkyrius, Vaarsuvius and their children.




Art by Delorges

http://img137.imageshack.us/img137/5862/varreddie.png
Vaarsuvius and Redcloak.

http://img38.imageshack.us/img38/2786/mikochul.png
Miko and O-Chul.



Art by Discord

http://i697.photobucket.com/albums/vv331/Discordd/OotS/mavundead.png
Vaarsuvius and Miko.

http://i697.photobucket.com/albums/vv331/Discordd/OotS/VxTsukiko1.png
Tsukiko and Vaarsuvius.

http://i697.photobucket.com/albums/vv331/Discordd/OotS/VxTsukiko2.png
Vaarsuvius and Tsukiko.

http://i697.photobucket.com/albums/vv331/Discordd/OotS/LirianxAarindarius1.png
Lirian and Aarindarius.



Art by Expeditious

http://i126.photobucket.com/albums/p81/bluebirdtexas/vandbw.png
Vaarsuvius and Blackwing.

http://i126.photobucket.com/albums/p81/bluebirdtexas/vaarsuviuscoldshower.png
Vaarsuvius.



Art by Funky Goose

http://i840.photobucket.com/albums/zz327/funkygoose/Redcloack-V1.png
http://i840.photobucket.com/albums/zz327/funkygoose/Redcloack-V2.png
http://i840.photobucket.com/albums/zz327/funkygoose/Redcloack-V3.png
http://i840.photobucket.com/albums/zz327/funkygoose/Redcloack-V4.png
A comic version of Water-Smurf's Vaarsuvius/Redcloak story.

http://i840.photobucket.com/albums/zz327/funkygoose/path3034.png
Half-dragon child of Belkar.

http://i840.photobucket.com/albums/zz327/funkygoose/Scene.png
Young Roy and the Little Psion that Could.



Art by half-halfling

http://i750.photobucket.com/albums/xx144/half-halfling/rys.jpg
Vaarsuvius and V's personifications of femininity and masculinity.

http://i750.photobucket.com/albums/xx144/half-halfling/rys2.png
Vaarsuvius, Inkyrius, their children and the soul splice.

http://i750.photobucket.com/albums/xx144/half-halfling/rys2-1.png
Tsukiko and Jirix.

http://i750.photobucket.com/albums/xx144/half-halfling/V3.png
Haley and Vaarsuvius.

http://i750.photobucket.com/albums/xx144/half-halfling/Untitled.png
MiTD and Tsukiko.

http://i750.photobucket.com/albums/xx144/half-halfling/Untitled-1.png
Child of Redcloak and Vaarsuvius.

http://i750.photobucket.com/albums/xx144/half-halfling/Beztytuu.png
Inkyrius and Vaarsuvius.

http://i750.photobucket.com/albums/xx144/half-halfling/Beztytuu-1.png
Vaarsuvius' Parent and young Vaarsuvius.

http://i750.photobucket.com/albums/xx144/half-halfling/Untitled-2.png
Inkyrius and Vaarsuvius.

http://i750.photobucket.com/albums/xx144/half-halfling/rys-1.png
Vaarsuvius and Redcloak.

http://i750.photobucket.com/albums/xx144/half-halfling/Untitled-4.png
Tiasal and Terentius.

http://i750.photobucket.com/albums/xx144/half-halfling/KAYTARA.png
Jirix, Tsukiko, Redcloak, Celia, Belkar, Roy, Haley, Vaarsuvius, Inkyrius and their children, wishing Kaytara a happy birthday.

http://i750.photobucket.com/albums/xx144/half-halfling/c5.png
Tiasal, Tsukiko, and Xykon.

http://i750.photobucket.com/albums/xx144/half-halfling/PNSAPD.png
Plushie Dragon Vaarsuvius.

http://i750.photobucket.com/albums/xx144/half-halfling/ch1.png
Aarindarius, Vaarsuvius, Inkyrius and their children.

http://i750.photobucket.com/albums/xx144/half-halfling/Aarindarius.png
Aarindarius.

http://i750.photobucket.com/albums/xx144/half-halfling/MxR.png
Roy and Miko.

http://i750.photobucket.com/albums/xx144/half-halfling/TxM.png
Therkla and Miko.



Art by Kaytara

http://img179.imageshack.us/img179/2879/vstudying.png
Vaarsuvius.

http://img147.imageshack.us/img147/9021/vredcloak.png
Vaarsuvius and Redcloak.

http://img12.imageshack.us/img12/5314/pris2.png
Vaarsuvius.

http://img22.imageshack.us/img22/6888/royv.png
Vaarsuvius and Roy.

http://img40.imageshack.us/img40/1084/royvcolour.png
Vaarsuvius and Roy (coloured version).

http://img14.imageshack.us/img14/2104/vchild.png
Young Vaarsuvius.

http://img214.imageshack.us/img214/8150/splicedkyrie.png
Spliced Inkyrius.

http://img198.imageshack.us/img198/5536/vmiko.png
Vaarsuvius and Miko.

http://img42.imageshack.us/img42/204/vmikocolour.png
Vaarsuvius and Miko (coloured version).

http://img195.imageshack.us/img195/9318/vreddie.png
Redcloak and Vaarsuvius.

http://img511.imageshack.us/img511/1083/ootspets.png
Mr. Scruffy, Belkar, Vaarsuvius, and Blackwing.

http://img23.imageshack.us/img23/1300/aandy2.png
Aarindarius.

http://img196.imageshack.us/img196/4221/aandy.png
Aarindarius.

http://img682.imageshack.us/img682/415/aandycoloured2.png
Aarindarius (coloured version).

http://img440.imageshack.us/img440/5345/vrcbaby.png
Redcloak, Vaarsuvius, and their child.

http://img38.imageshack.us/img38/8994/vrcbabycolour.png
Redcloak, Vaarsuvius, and their child (coloured version).

http://img513.imageshack.us/img513/3548/estrangement.png
Right-Eye and Redcloak.

http://img187.imageshack.us/img187/7347/tiasalfamily.png
Tiasal, Xykon, and Tsukiko.

http://img706.imageshack.us/img706/6537/tiasalcoloured.png
Tiasal.



Art by Kirby

http://img33.imageshack.us/img33/8592/vaausarvishaley.th.jpg
Haley and Vaarsuvius.

http://img27.imageshack.us/img27/6064/evilelan.th.png
Spliced Elan.



Art by The Neoclassic

http://i449.photobucket.com/albums/qq218/Queenfange/OotS%20Characters/LienFiend1.png

http://i449.photobucket.com/albums/qq218/Queenfange/OotS%20Characters/LienFiend2.png
Lien and the Yellow-Eyed Fiend.

http://i449.photobucket.com/albums/qq218/Queenfange/OotS%20Characters/TeevoEvilLien.png
Evil Lien.



Art by Saeyan

http://img257.imageshack.us/img257/2563/jpg1w.jpg
Vaarsuvius with a Miko doll.

http://img24.imageshack.us/img24/3189/jpgxwg.jpg
Vaarsuvius with a Miko doll.

http://img210.imageshack.us/img210/5248/guhwhat.jpg
Aarindarius and Inkyrius.

http://img32.imageshack.us/img32/2897/zanaril.jpg
Zz'dtri and Vaarsuvius.

http://img35.imageshack.us/img35/9333/kyrieborked.jpg
Inkyrius.

http://img142.imageshack.us/img142/8849/wtfgo.jpg
Aarindarius, Inkyrius, and Vaarsuvius.

http://img44.imageshack.us/img44/2589/20090910104023.jpg
A wanted sign for Zanaril.

http://img695.imageshack.us/img695/5982/20091211215502.jpg
A wanted sign for Zanaril (version 2).

http://img136.imageshack.us/img136/9130/37792864.jpg
Vaarsuvius.

http://img401.imageshack.us/img401/7391/dsc05772smallv.jpg
Inkyrius and Aarindarius, with Vaarsuvius and Zz'dtri in chibi form.

http://i33.tinypic.com/2coso77.png
Aarindarius, Inkyrius, and Vaarsuvius.

http://img25.imageshack.us/img25/8370/returnofthes.jpg
Inkyrius, Vaarsuvius, and Aarindarius.

http://img40.imageshack.us/img40/7219/dsc05996medium.jpg
Inkyrius and Vaarsuvius.

http://img257.imageshack.us/img257/2923/va2j.jpg
Aarindarius and Vaarsuvius.

http://img17.imageshack.us/img17/9062/dsc06230small.jpg
Vaarsuvius.

http://img263.imageshack.us/img263/1207/dsc06235small.jpg
Child of Redcloak and Vaarsuvius.

http://img22.imageshack.us/img22/3488/vsera.jpg
Vaarsuvius.

http://img200.imageshack.us/img200/7750/vchild.jpg
Vaarsuvius and V&RC's child.

http://img4.imageshack.us/img4/7338/dsc00503small.jpg
Tiasal.

http://img121.imageshack.us/img121/937/pelf.gif
Vaarsuvius.

http://img64.imageshack.us/img64/6765/tsukiko.jpg
Tsukiko.

http://img163.imageshack.us/img163/5153/dsc08108small.jpg
Scenario for Water-Smurf, featuring Tiasal and Redcloak.

http://img32.imageshack.us/img32/5670/vacompositionsmall.jpg
Vaarsuvius and Aarindarius.

http://img63.imageshack.us/img63/7307/screenshot170y.th.jpg (http://img63.imageshack.us/i/screenshot170y.jpg/)
Vaarsuvius and Inkyrius.

http://img686.imageshack.us/img686/3519/screenshot159k.th.jpg (http://img686.imageshack.us/i/screenshot159k.jpg/)
Vaarsuvius and Inkyrius.

http://img685.imageshack.us/img685/834/screenshot181.th.jpgAarindarius and Vaarsuvius.



Art by Tira-chan

http://i608.photobucket.com/albums/tt165/Tirajm/Picture003.jpg
Spock and Vaarsuvius.



Art by TooManySecrets

http://img512.imageshack.us/img512/4227/genmorph.png
Female living Xykon.



Art by Trixie

http://www.imageboo.com/files/oxkjoqgfvjhpwoxd5peh.png
Celia and Belkar.

http://www.imageboo.com/files/cckobz9fc5qm975121s0.png
Xykon, Tsukiko, and Miko.



Art by Zanaril

http://i260.photobucket.com/albums/ii21/Zanaril/OOTSart/undeath.png
Undead Vaarsuvius and Xykon.

http://i260.photobucket.com/albums/ii21/Zanaril/OOTSart/inspiration.png
Miko and Vaarsuvius.

http://i260.photobucket.com/albums/ii21/Zanaril/OOTSart/9SMALL.png
Redcloak and Vaarsuvius.

http://i260.photobucket.com/albums/ii21/Zanaril/OOTSart/xykondress.png
Xykon.

http://i260.photobucket.com/albums/ii21/Zanaril/OOTSart/kyriesoulsplice.png
Spliced Inkyrius.

http://img10.imageshack.us/img10/7817/evilmuffingrin.png
Spliced Inkyrius.

http://i260.photobucket.com/albums/ii21/Zanaril/OOTSart/vxi.png
Spliced Inkyrius and Vaarsuvius.

http://i260.photobucket.com/albums/ii21/Zanaril/OOTSart/miniv.png
Young Vaarsuvius.

http://i920.photobucket.com/albums/ad44/ZanarilOOTS/Tiasal.png
Tiasal.

http://i260.photobucket.com/albums/ii21/Zanaril/OOTSart/windstrikerxargent.png
Argent and Windstriker.

http://i260.photobucket.com/albums/ii21/Zanaril/OOTSart/mistletoe.png
Aarindarius and Vaarsuvius.

http://i260.photobucket.com/albums/ii21/Zanaril/OOTSart/dragoninky.png
Child of Closak and the ABD.

http://i260.photobucket.com/albums/ii21/Zanaril/OOTSart/vxh.png
Haley and Vaarsuvius.

http://i260.photobucket.com/albums/ii21/Zanaril/OOTSart/hug-1.png
Vaarsuvius, Redcloak, and Tiasal.

http://i260.photobucket.com/albums/ii21/Zanaril/OOTSart/bahhumbug.png
Xykon and Tsukiko.

[Zanaril]

*takes a deep breath*

Aah, there's nothing like the smell of a new thread.

[mizzim]

New thread! Yay!

[CoffeeIncluded]

*Groans* Aargh, I go to the bathroom and it's already posted...

In any case, can anyone pass me the grape juice?

And shameless advertising ahoy; I started an OOTS-style webcomic called Murphy's Law. Check it out: Link (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=133565)

[The Dark Fiddler]

*takes a deep breath*

Aah, there's nothing like the smell of a new thread.

Indeed...

Now that this is done, I'd like to ask again if anybody'd be up to drawing a banner for the runner up in the contest, and if anybody would like to be a judge (obviously, you can't enter then).

I'm off to play Nethack now.

I will get past level 2, I swear it!

[Zanaril]

Now that this is done, I'd like to ask again if anybody'd be up to drawing a banner for the runner up in the contest, and if anybody would like to be a judge (obviously, you can't enter then).

I'm up for being a judge!

[Mystic Muse]

Did Cracklord ever finish that crack pairing I asked for?

[Water-Smurf]

Mmm. We've outgrown many of our fellow forum legends.

And I'm severely hung over. (I've gotta stop drinking at the end of the threads...)

...

Zanaril, what did you put in there? I feel funny...

[The Dark Fiddler]

Mmm. We've outgrown many of our fellow forum legends.

And I'm severely hung over. (I've gotta stop drinking at the end of the threads...)

...

Zanaril, what did you put in there? I feel funny...

Yes, yes we have. And no sign of stopping, either!

I'm so proud!

[Zanaril]

Zanaril, what did you put in there? I feel funny...

Just a little something I bought from a back-alley alchemist last time I was in Greysky City. :smallwink:

[The Dark Fiddler]

Just a little something I bought from a back-alley alchemist last time I was in Greysky City. :smallwink:

You're evil, Zanaril. Love is not an emotion to be toyed with.

Except when we write fics about it.

[BatRobin]

New thread, goodie goodie.


We revolve in infamy. :smallcool:

[The Dark Fiddler]

New thread, goodie goodie.


We [s]revolve[s] revel in infamy. :smallcool:

That's thread 5, BatRobin. You're a bit ahead of the curve.

Don't worry, you're not that far ahead. Only another 49 pages or so to go.

[silversaraph]

I have nothing inherently useful to say.

...

...

...

...

YAY FOR THREAD FOUR!

[Zanaril]

V x Julio Scoundrel


"Well, hello."

Vaarsuvius looked up sharply, her attention straying from the last half inch of beer in her glass and focusing dimly on the human that had just sat down at the bar. "I do not believe I know you."

He chuckled, and gave a mock bow. "Nor I you. What is a lovely... elf like you doing in these parts?" He gestured around the small tavern.

"That is none of your concern." Vaarsuvius relied moodily, draining the last of the beer. "Bartender, I require a refilling of my beverage." The elf dug around in a robe pocket for a handful of coins, but the human go there first.

"Let me buy that for you." He said, and his even and very white teeth bared in a dazzling smile as he placed a few coppers on the bar. Vaarsuvius observed him coldly.

"I am quite capable of paying for my own drinks. Please leave me alone."

“Ah, but a pretty-“ he paused, then took a gamble “…lady like yourself shouldn’t have to be alone.” He winked. “And that’s where I come in.”

Vaarsuvius leant away from the man, a slight pinkish tinge creeping across her face. But her expression was pure ice. “I will repeat this once more, and only once more: leave me alone.”

Julio Scoundrel sat back and watched the elf, seeming unconcerned by the rebuttal. The elf’s blush darkened a bit, and she hurriedly looked down, scowling into her drink. Julio merely smirked and tugged absent mindedly at his mustache.

“You seem upset about something. Penny for your thoughts?”

“I have already expressed my desire to be left alone. I do not wish to talk to you, human!” The elf stood up, meaning to storm out angrily, but the evenings drinking caught up with the elf and she stumbled, reaching out to grab the bar for support. Instead a firm hand caught her arm. She glared at the human, who simply stepped away and sat back down. The elf took a deep breath, trying to clear the alcohol-fuelled haze.

“Please stay. I simply wish for someone to talk to, and you appeared to be the most intelligible companion available.”

Warily, the elf sat back down, still frowning at the human. “That did not appear your intent when you first addressed me.”

He gave a light laugh, a pleasant sound which made the elf’s ears twitch. He was rather good-looking, she had to admit. He was handsome with a youthful face, but there were the tell-tale signs of age creeping up too; the elf’s sharp eyes picked out a few lighter strands of hair against the black, noted the faint lines at the corners of his eyes. The facial hair was rather off-putting, but then that was just one more aspect of humans the elf had never understood.

“Like what you see?”

The elf jumped “No, I… if you are going to be like that I will leave.”

“Apologies madam. It is simply a bad habit of mine to be so forward when talking to females.”

“That is evident.” The elf muttered, reluctantly picking up the glass of beer and taking a sip.

“So tell me, why is an elf such as yourself drinking in a back-street bar of a airship port?”

“I believe you already asked me that.”

“And I believe you didn’t answer.” He said, leaning forward on his elbows.

The elf sighed. “I am here following rumors of a potential source of arcane knowledge. It is nothing that would interest your type.”

“My ‘type’?”

“Those who bluff their way through life on a high Charisma, rather than utilizing logic and knowledge to make decisions.” The elf snapped.

“Hmm, that’s a pretty big accusation to make about someone you don’t know.” He tugged his mustache thoughtfully. “You think I’m, charismatic?”

“You are well aware of the fact, and undoubtedly use it to your benefit.”

He laughed. “Well, maybe I do. Although it doesn’t seem to be working for me recently.”

“I know what you want, and you would be better served looking elsewhere. Go and talk to someone else. Maybe someone with a higher Charisma score.”

Leaning further towards the elf, he rested a hand on his chin. “Why?”

The elf leant forward too, eyes burning. “Because you are obviously not really attracted to me! You are simply amusing yourself at my expense!”

The airship captain looked genuinely surprised. “I am not. You have already shown yourself to be intelligent and independent, both of which are traits I value highly. And besides, you belittle yourself; I do think you are pretty.”

“I doubt it.”

Without hesitation, the airship captain moved forward and kissed Vaarsuvius squarely on the lips. The elf’s eyes widened, but there was a moment’s pause before she pushed him away, breathing heavily.

“Why did you do that?” The elf hissed, but the tone was more curious than angry.

“You want me.”

Vaarsuvius looked away irritably, the blush now reaching the tips of her ears. “Maybe. What of it?”

Julio raised an eyebrow. “Why are you so opposed to the idea? We’re both adults capable of making our own decisions.”

“And if I decided I did want to?”

He slipped an arm around her waist and kissed her again, and this time she didn’t push him away but cautiously leant into the kiss.

“I have a room rented at-“ He started, but she cut him off.

“I do too. I would prefer to go there.”

He inclined his head, mouth twitching into a smile. “On your terms then.”

They kissed again, more deeply and more desperately, and then while they still had control of their actions they walked out of the bar hand in hand.



*yawn* Tired. Going to bed now.

I might look at this on the other side of the morning and decide I hate it, but that's the way things go.

[The Dark Fiddler]

I might look at this on the other side of the morning and decide I hate it, but that's the way things go.

I enjoyed it, if that means anything.

[Aaron]

Just a little something I bought from a back-alley alchemist last time I was in Greysky City. :smallwink:

Well, I know for a fact that Water Smurf's condition will only last a few more hours. *hides recently acquired bag of coins behind back*:smalltongue:


Hooray for the new thread!!!:smallbiggrin:

[Lycan 01]

Woo, new thread! :smallbiggrin:

[BatRobin]

That's thread 5, BatRobin. You're a bit ahead of the curve.

Don't worry, you're not that far ahead. Only another 49 pages or so to go.

Just making sure someone remembered. XD

:smallcool: YEAAAAAHHHHHHH

[BatRobin]

V x Julio Scoundrel


"Well, hello."

Vaarsuvius looked up sharply, her attention straying from the last half inch of beer in her glass and focusing dimly on the human that had just sat down at the bar. "I do not believe I know you."

He chuckled, and gave a mock bow. "Nor I you. What is a lovely... elf like you doing in these parts?" He gestured around the small tavern.

"That is none of your concern." Vaarsuvius relied moodily, draining the last of the beer. "Bartender, I require a refilling of my beverage." The elf dug around in a robe pocket for a handful of coins, but the human go there first.

"Let me buy that for you." He said, and his even and very white teeth bared in dazzling smile as he placed a few coppers on the bar. Vaarsuvius observed him coldly.

"I am quite capable of paying for my own drinks. Please leave me alone."

“Ah, but a pretty-“ he paused, then took a gamble “…lady like yourself shouldn’t have to be alone.” He winked. “And that’s where I come in.”

Vaarsuvius leant away from the man, a slight pinkish tinge creeping across her face. But her expression was pure ice. “I will repeat this once more, and only once more: leave me alone.”

Julio Scoundrel simply sat back and watched the elf, seeming unconcerned by the rebuttal. The elf’s blush darkened a bit, and she hurriedly looked down, scowling into her drink. Julio merely smirked and tugged absent mindedly at his mustache.

“You seem upset about something. Penny for your thoughts?”

“I have already expressed my desire to be left alone. I do not wish to talk to you, human!” The elf stood up, meaning to storm out angrily, but the evenings drinking caught up with the elf and she stumbled, reaching out to grab the bar for support. Instead a firm hand caught her arm. She glared at the human, who simply stepped away and sat back down. The elf took a deep breath, trying to clear the alcohol-fuelled haze.

“Please stay. I simply wish for someone to talk to, and you appeared to be the most intelligible companion available.”

Warily, the elf sat back down, still frowning at the human. “That did not appear your intent when you first addressed me.”

He gave a light laugh, a pleasant sound which made the elf’s ears twitch. He was rather good-looking, she had to admit. He was handsome with a youthful face, but there were the tell-tale signs of age creeping up too; the elf’s sharp eyes picked out a few lighter strands of hair against the black, noted the faint lines at the corners of his eyes. The facial hair was rather off-putting, but then that was just one more aspect of humans the elf had never understood.

“Like what you see?”

The elf jumped “No, I… if you are going to be like that I will leave.”

“Apologies madam. It is simply a bad habit of mine to be so forward when talking to females.”

“That is evident.” The elf muttered, reluctantly picking up the glass of beer and taking a sip.

“So tell me, why is an elf such as yourself drinking in a back-street bar of a airship port?”

“I believe you already asked me that.”

“And I believe you didn’t answer.” He said, leaning forward on his elbows.

The elf sighed. “I am here following rumors of a potential source of arcane knowledge. It is nothing that would interest your type.”

“My ‘type’?”

“Those who bluff their way through life on a high Charisma, rather than utilizing logic and knowledge to make decisions.” The elf snapped.

“Hmm, that’s a pretty big accusation to make about someone you don’t know.” He tugged his mustache thoughtfully. “You think I’m, charismatic?”

“You are well aware of the fact, and undoubtedly use it to your benefit.”

He laughed. “Well, maybe I do. Although it doesn’t seem to be working for me recently.”

“I know what you want, and you would be better served looking elsewhere. Go and talk to someone else. Maybe someone with a higher Charisma score.”

Leaning further towards the elf, he rested a hand on his chin. “Why?”

The elf leant forward too, eyes burning. “Because you are obviously not really attracted to me! You are simply amusing yourself at my expense!”

The airship captain looked genuinely surprised. “I am not. You have already shown yourself to be intelligent and independent, both of which are traits I value highly. And besides, you belittle yourself; I do think you are pretty.”

“I doubt it.”

Without hesitation, the airship captain moved forward and kissed Vaarsuvius squarely on the lips. The elf’s eyes widened, but there was a moment’s pause before she pushed him away, breathing heavily. “Why did you do that?” The elf exclaimed, but the tone was more curious than angry.

“You want me.”

Vaarsuvius looked away irritably, the blush now reaching the tips of her ears. “Maybe. What of it?”

Julio raised an eyebrow. “Why are you so opposed to the idea? We’re both adults capable of making our own decisions.”

“And if I decided I did want to?”

He slipped an arm around her waist and kissed her again, and this time she didn’t push him away but cautiously leant into the kiss.

“I have a room rented at-“ He started, but she cut him off.

“I do too. I would prefer to go there.”

He inclined his head, mouth twitching into a smile. “On your terms then.”

They kissed again, more deeply and more desperately, and then while they still had control of their actions they walked out of the bar hand in hand.



*yawn* Tired. Going to bed now.

I might look at this on the other side of the morning and decide I hate it, but that's the way things go.

*douses brain in bleach*

*and Pikachu Blood*

Pikachu Blood is more effective.

Ohcrud, double post. Sorry. :smalleek:

[The Dark Fiddler]

tiasAl, and sounds good. *writes up fic*



"Wuhh? Wha' happened?" Water-smurf was just waking up, and she had a severe hangover. She noticed a green blob in the corner of her over-blurry vision. "Huhh? Who's ther? who're yu? U look fumiliur..." she trailed off. even in her state, she could recognize the purple hair and light green skin of one of her favorite characters. "Tiusal? Izzat you? I thoug tha you were mayd up."
"Who are you?" Tiasal asked. "what are you doing her-" she was cut off as a potion popped out of the wall and promptly forced itself down her throat. A belt also popped out of the wall and clipped around her waist. there was a flash of light, and she changed genders. He looked at Water-smurf differently. "Would you like to make out?" He asked.
"Sure."

--------

Nine months later, Water-smurf had gained a lot of weight. She didn't know why, but one morning, she woke up, and there was a strange, purple-haired, tusked, creature, with green-blue skin and a white hat, on her bed. She screamed.


do you like it? I'll post it in the new thread too.

*Loves how people continue to post in the old thread, even after the new thread is here*

I don't think you portrayed Water-smurf accurately. Even under the effects of a love potion, I doubt she'd do that.

Also, Tiasal probably wouldn't either, but who knows.


Pikachu Blood is more effective.


You could say it's.... :smallcool:

SUPER EFFECTIVE


YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAH

[mizzim]

*Loves how people continue to post in the old thread, even after the new thread is here*

I don't think you portrayed Water-smurf accurately. Even under the effects of a love potion, I doubt she'd do that.

Also, Tiasal probably wouldn't either, but who knows.

well, I wasn't quite sure how to portray either of them. Water-smurf was drunk, so I did my best with what I think that she would act like, but Tiasal? I was just going blindly.

[Dark_Stryke]

You could say it's.... :smallcool:

SUPER EFFECTIVE


YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAH

I wondered how fast someone would post this.

And I'm immensely disappointed I wasn't able to do it first.

[DarkElfGangsta]

I'm stuck with my nale x Julia. anyone got any tips to kamehmeha this writer's block? I got most of it figured out, I need a plot device better then what I have...(julia seducing nale to go free...)

[Kyronea]

I'm stuck with my nale x Julia. anyone got any tips to kamehmeha this writer's block? I got most of it figured out, I need a plot device better then what I have...(julia seducing nale to go free...)

Julia seducing Nale to go free, then when they're finished with their first torrid tangle, she goes back for seconds. With a whip.

[Silverraptor]

Wow. A new thread already. We're now offically ahead of the OOTS fanservice in the art-thread. Now all we need to do is beat the non-OOTS fanservice thread comibined and we are really in great shape!:smallbiggrin:

By the way, I think their needs to be a better organizing index system, Lira. Maybe put it in sections based on artists names and put them in spoilers like:

A-F
You get the idea.

G-L
And so on, and so forth

M-R
Why can't I stop this?:smallconfused:

S-Z
Help!:smalleek: I'm being forced to continue against my will! Oh wait... I'm at the end of the alphabet. *Whew*

1-9
Oh You've *GOT* To Be Kidding Me!!!!!!:smallfurious:

[Monzach]

Aah, I love the smell of a new thread in the morning. Smells like...victory. :smallcool:

I loved the VxJulio story. Julio Scoundrél was, to me, really depicted as the kind of smarmy guy that he should be seen as. :smallbiggrin:

[Saeyan]

At least I get in on the first page.

But aww, nobody missed me :smallfrown: /snif

[Aaron]

Wow. A new thread already. We're now offically ahead of the OOTS fanservice in the art-thread. Now all we need to do is beat the non-OOTS fanservice thread comibined and we are really in great shape!:smallbiggrin:

Hooray!!! *hold up cider glass* Cheers!:smallbiggrin:


A-F
You get the idea.

G-L
And so on, and so forth

M-R
Why can't I stop this?:smallconfused:

S-Z
Help!:smalleek: I'm being forced to continue against my will! Oh wait... I'm at the end of the alphabet. *Whew*

1-9
Oh You've *GOT* To Be Kidding Me!!!!!!:smallfurious:

Umm...you forgot numbers 10 to 100 (in groups of ten:smalltongue:)

[Zanaril]

*douses brain in bleach*
You really needed the brain bleach after that? :smallconfused:


But aww, nobody missed me :smallfrown: /snif

I missed you!


Umm...you forgot numbers 10 to 100 (in groups of ten:smalltongue:)
I'ts only the first digit that counts. :smallwink:

Except when you're teasing Silverraptor...

[Taekwondodo]

Damn! I had hoped to have my story finished by the time the new thread was up but my plot bunny has grown tentacles and taken to attacking ships (plot kraken?). It should be finished soon but then again I have to read it through and type it up and I know there will be bits I want to change so don't hold your breath.

Nice story Zanaril, both were in character vocally but I don't see V as someone who would get drunk.

[Cire II]

I think I'll give this a try,
So... Miko, Durkon and they are snowed in OK

Searching for Girard's gate Durkon began reminiscing on the past, specifically a night a year before meeting with Roy and starting the order of the stick...

------------------------------

He had just been exiled from the dwarven lands and was travelling the mountains aimlessly when he saw a young woman fighting ten goblins, he ran to her aid with all the speed his short legs could muster.
Together they easily bested them. They exchanged greetings, "I'm Durkon Thundershield cleric of the god Thor," Durkon said. "It is good to meet you Durkon Thundershield I am Miko Miyazaki, samurai of th-"
A loud rumble in the distance cut her words short. The battle had started a huge avalanche that was surging down the mountain.
"Run", Durkon said, they barely made it to an adjacent cave when the snow hit them.
The cave had a small fire and some crude, sleeping pallets, Durkon thought it may have been the goblins den.
"This will have to do until help reaches us. Hopefully that will not take too long"
"Och tha may take weeks, 'f ever. t’mrow’ll start digging us out. I’m too tired now."
"Very well I will assist you in the morning,"

So they set about getting a meal prepared and devouring it, after that just sat staring into the fire, lost in their own.
Miko suddenly spoke up," You where very heroic coming to my rescue, and also very dashing."
"Wha, I'm sorry but I'm nah attracted to humans in tha way."
Miko began to try to explain herself, tripping over words in her haste, cursing her low charisma at the same time. Durkon swiftly calmed her and they went to there separate pallets. There was silence in the cave until Durkon broke," Wha I jus' said may nah have been true."
"I'm sorry what did you say?"
Durkon answered her with a kiss.

----------------------------------

The next day they set about cleaning away the snow, and that night they whispered sweet nothings into each other’s ear.

The days passed like this, for eight days. The eight happiest days of both their lives and as they walked away from each other for what they believed to be the last time Miko wiped a single tear from her cheek.

---------------------------------

Durkon shuck himself out of his reminiscing, muttering to himself how there was no sense wallowing in the past.


What do people think?

[Taekwondodo]

I think I'll give this a try,
So... Miko, Durkon and they are snowed in OK

Searching for Girard's gate Durkon began reminising on the past, specificaly a night a year before meating with Roy and starting the order of the stick...

------------------------------

He had just been exiled from the dwarven lands and was traveleing the mountains aimlessley when he saw a young woman fighting ten goblins, he ran two her aid with all the speed his short legs could muster.
Together they easily bested them. They exchanged greetings, "I'm Durkon Thundershield cleric of the god Thor," Durkon said. "I't is good to meet you Durkon Thundershield I am Miko Miyazaki, sammrai of th-"
A loud rumble in the distance cut her words short. The battle had started a huge avalanche that was surging down the mountain.
"Run", Durkon said, they barley made it to an adjacent cave when the snow hit them.
The cave had a small fire and some crude, sleeping palletes, Durkon thought it may have been the goblins den.
"This will have to do until help reaches us.Hopefully that will not take too long"
"Och tha may take weeks, 'f ever. t'mrow 'll start digging us out.I'm too tired now."
"Very well I will assist you in the morning,"

So they set about getting a meal prepared and devouring it, after that just sat stareing into the fire, lost in there own.
Miko suddenley spoke up," You where very heroic comeing to my rescue, and also very dashing."
"Wha, I'm sorry but I'm nah atracted to humans in tha way."
Miko began to try to explain herself, tripping over words in her haste, curseing her low charisma at the same time. Durkon swiftly calmed her and they whent to there seperate palletes. There was silence in the cave until Durkon broke," Wha I jus' said may nah have been true."
"I'm sorry what did you say?"
Durkon awnserd her with a kiss.

----------------------------------

The next day they set about cleaning away the snow, and that nigt they whisperd sweet nothings into each others ear.

The days passed like this, for eight days. The eight happiest days of both there lives and as they walked away from each other for what they belived to be the last time Miko wiped a single tear from her cheek.

---------------------------------

Durkon shuck himself out of his remminisings, mutering to himself how there was no sense wallowing in the past.

What do people think?

It was OK but a spell checking program will probably serve you well in any future writing projects.

[Cire II]

It was OK but a spell checking program will probably serve you well in any future writing projects.

Yeh I didn't realy look over it and just made it up as I whent along. I will probably go over it again and fix any mistakes.I have fixed them.:smallbiggrin:

[Taekwondodo]

Actually, now I'm not distracted by bad spelling (:smallbiggrin:) it's really very good! Quite sweet.

[Cire II]

Thank you that means a lot, realy.

[Aaron]

I'ts only the first digit that counts. :smallwink:

Except when you're teasing Silverraptor...

Hmm,in that case... numbers 10 to 1000 :smallamused:(also, in groups of ten:smalltongue:)



I think I'll give this a try,
So... Miko, Durkon and they are snowed in OK

Searching for Girard's gate Durkon began reminiscing on the past, specifically a night a year before meeting with Roy and starting the order of the stick...

------------------------------

He had just been exiled from the dwarven lands and was travelling the mountains aimlessly when he saw a young woman fighting ten goblins, he ran to her aid with all the speed his short legs could muster.
Together they easily bested them. They exchanged greetings, "I'm Durkon Thundershield cleric of the god Thor," Durkon said. "It is good to meet you Durkon Thundershield I am Miko Miyazaki, samurai of th-"
A loud rumble in the distance cut her words short. The battle had started a huge avalanche that was surging down the mountain.
"Run", Durkon said, they barely made it to an adjacent cave when the snow hit them.
The cave had a small fire and some crude, sleeping pallets, Durkon thought it may have been the goblins den.
"This will have to do until help reaches us. Hopefully that will not take too long"
"Och tha may take weeks, 'f ever. t’mrow’ll start digging us out. I’m too tired now."
"Very well I will assist you in the morning,"

So they set about getting a meal prepared and devouring it, after that just sat staring into the fire, lost in their own.
Miko suddenly spoke up," You where very heroic coming to my rescue, and also very dashing."
"Wha, I'm sorry but I'm nah attracted to humans in tha way."
Miko began to try to explain herself, tripping over words in her haste, cursing her low charisma at the same time. Durkon swiftly calmed her and they went to there separate pallets. There was silence in the cave until Durkon broke," Wha I jus' said may nah have been true."
"I'm sorry what did you say?"
Durkon answered her with a kiss.

----------------------------------

The next day they set about cleaning away the snow, and that night they whispered sweet nothings into each other’s ear.

The days passed like this, for eight days. The eight happiest days of both their lives and as they walked away from each other for what they believed to be the last time Miko wiped a single tear from her cheek.

---------------------------------

Durkon shuck himself out of his reminiscing, muttering to himself how there was no sense wallowing in the past.


What do people think?

It's great. Too bad they would forget about it:smallwink:.

[Cire II]

Maybe I could add some more of Durkons "memories", later.:smallbiggrin:

[Zanaril]

Nice story Zanaril, both were in character vocally but I don't see V as someone who would get drunk.
Not drunk. Marginally intoxicated as to impair motor function.

[ClericOfBelker]

WOOT! New thread!





Bottle of Brain Bleach 10 GP

Bottle of P. Blood 25 GP

Love Potion 100 GP

Making a pairing with Watersmurf Priceless

[Silverraptor]

Umm...you forgot numbers 10 to 100 (in groups of ten:smalltongue:)

I'ts only the first digit that counts. :smallwink:

Except when you're teasing Silverraptor...

Hmm,in that case... numbers 10 to 1000 :smallamused:(also, in groups of ten:smalltongue:)


...
...
...
...
..Both of you, start running.

*Pulls out blood-soaked knives*

[Kyronea]

...
...
...
...
..Both of you, start running.

*Pulls out blood-soaked knives*

See, what most intrigues me about this is that the knives were already blood-soaked.

Just what have you been doing?

[Aaron]

...
...
...
...
..Both of you, start running.

*Pulls out blood-soaked knives*

:smalleek:*Starts running and casts Freedom of Movement*


See, what most intrigues me about this is that the knives were already blood-soaked.

Just what have you been doing?

...*skids to a short stop* wait:smallconfused:...what?!:smalleek: *casts air walk, and air runs away*

[DarkElfGangsta]

almost done! but i want to have thog come in right at the end and do something silly, like barging in dressed as cloud and singing grace Kelly. is that allowed under the crack pairings thread?

...wait, what's going on here?
*looks around, sees the drooling screaming madman chasing people*

Oh! hey Belkar! thought you'd be shorter!

[Sstoopidtallkid]

almost done! but i want to have thog come in right at the end and do something silly, like barging in dressed as cloud and singing grace Kelly. is that allowed under the crack pairings thread?

...wait, what's going on here?
*looks around, sees the drooling screaming madman chasing people*

Oh! hey Belkar! thought you'd be shorter!Since we aren't allowed to end it with explicit sex, comedy is basically the only option IMHO. At the least, it isn't forbidden.

If you're worried about having several characters, don't be. I'm personally surprised we haven't seen The Snarl/Everyone yet.

[Dark_Stryke]

I'm personally surprised we haven't seen The Snarl/Everyone yet.

I actually took a stab at this one, but then I realized I was just ripping off Futurama's "The Beast with a Billion Backs". Like, line by line. I even called Elan "Fry" a couple times.

[Zanaril]

Hey Fiddler, if your still planning on running a competition, I've got an idea: Christmas themed pairing stories!

Misletoe! Snow! Ice-skating! Unwanted anonymous presents!



Since we aren't allowed to end it with explicit sex, comedy is basically the only option IMHO.

Or squicking people out. :smallwink:

Or both at the same time.

That said, you can get a lot done with PG-13...


From the character equations thread:
So now we're just waiting for V to show up in Roy's room with an interesting proposal on how to survive the final clash with Xykon? :smallbiggrin:

These people do know about this thread, right?

[Cracklord]

New thread. Hi all.

Suppose I better start writing again...

Define explicate. No really. Quoting that piece of literature, My immortal:
No. L can't. Amway, despite gratuitous sex, I would not call that explicate. In any way. While I know authors who only need to hint.

I mean, I can easily do R-rated stuff by hinting and letting your minds fill in the rest.

[Zanaril]

New thread. Hi all.

Suppose I better start writing again...

Welcome back!

Would you like something to drink?

[Cracklord]

A shot of The tears of children who have lost their innocence, on the rocks, with a slice of lemon.
Bu nothing stronger. I'm off the heavy stuff.
Don't want to lose my girlish build.

[Zanaril]

The tears of children who have lost their innocence.
Straight up or on the rocks?

[Cracklord]

I just edited...
On the rocks.

Anyway, expect my contribution up tomorrow. I get to kill Belkar again!:smallbiggrin:
Then, V as a champion of Slaanesh forcing Kyrie to come back to him/her.
Then (unfortunately) I'll need a new plot bunny. Perhaps O-Chul x Freya.

Hey, who won the squickies?

[The Dark Fiddler]

Hey Fiddler, if your still planning on running a competition, I've got an idea: Christmas themed pairing stories!

Misletoe! Snow! Ice-skating! Unwanted anonymous presents!

Not quite what I had in mind, but that could very easily work.

It's too early for me to remember, did anybody volunteer to make the art prize(s) yet?

[Zanaril]

I just edited...
On the rocks.

Then (unfortunately) I'll need a new plot bunny. Perhaps O-Chul x Freya.

*hands Cracklord a glass full of ice and tears. There is a slice of lemon floating in it, and a curl of lemon rind adorns the side of the glass* *Zanaril keeps the now half-empty vial of love potion carefully out of sight*

<insert O-Chuck joke about fertility>

[Water-Smurf]

Define explicate. No really. Quoting that piece of literature, My immortal:
No. L can't. Amway, despite gratuitous sex, I would not call that explicate. In any way. While I know authors who only need to hint.

I mean, I can easily do R-rated stuff by hinting and letting your minds fill in the rest.

I'd like a definition of 'explicit' as well (and yes, I realize that it's a joke). I just wrote something and I'm trying to figure out if it's R or PG-13.

Is it okay if we do explicit tail/wing stroking for succubi and ear stroking for elves? But everyone keeps their clothes on?

[ClericOfBelker]

*Zanaril keeps the now half-empty vial of love potion carefully out of sight*


*Waits while Cracklord chugs the tears*
*Saps Cracklord*

"What whrere am I?" groaned Cracklord "What are you doing here Zan- Mnph!"
Zanrill had cut him off with a kiss.


5 Min. Earlier_____________________________

"We'll never do it You twisted fiends!" Shouted a tied-up Vaarsuvius
"Speak for your self ears! Is she hot?" Said Belkar
"IT'LL NEVER WORK! The 12 Gods protect me from your evil spells!" Said Miko
"SILENCE!" Yelled Zanrill before going behind a glass panel "RELEASE THE LOVE GAS!"

As pink gas filled the room, Watersmurf opened a door and walked up to Zanrill, still under the afects of the champange.
"Boy is it hot in here..." she moaned "Ooo! A window!"
"DON'T!!!" Zanrill shouted as Watersmurf opened the glass
"NOW YOU'VE DONE IT!"

"The Love Gas is relesed, sir" said Random Hobgoblin No. 13459
"Good!" Said Dark Fiddiler "Let them at Cracklord!"



Whoops! Sorry Zanarill! ssssssssss...
*sniffs* Do you smell something?

[Lira]

Is it okay if we do explicit tail/wing stroking for succubi and ear stroking for elves? But everyone keeps their clothes on?That sounds fine to me.

[The Dark Fiddler]

*Zanaril keeps the now half-empty vial of love potion carefully out of sight*

You get four doses per vial?

[Water-Smurf]

I present to you, V/RC. This chapter doesn't advance the plot too much, but I think that something of significance happens. (Try to point it out if you can. :smallwink: )

Hopefully, I didn't break any rules with this.

“We can’t keep this up in this weather.”

Vaarsuvius simply stopped walking, trying to hide the violent shivers running up and down the small elven body. The snow was rapidly gathering on the street, and they had almost slipped and fallen on the ice several times. The white fluff from the sky already had gotten to the point where it nearly reached the travelers’ knees, and it showed no sign of stopping. “Where do you suggest we settle, then?”

“One of the houses. At least they will keep the snow out over the night.”

Vaarsuvius didn’t protest. Redcloak noted with worry that the tips of the elf’s fingers had taken a bluish color, but he didn’t comment. His cheek still stung where Vaarsuvius had struck it, and he doubted that the elf would react any better to his concern just then.

They both trekked to one of the closer homes, having to struggle a little to get the door open and walk inside.

Redcloak forced the door closed, glancing around the hut. The first thing he noticed was that there was one bed for two with a thick blanket. (Well, he was fine with that—it’s not like they hadn’t slept together before.) There was a pile of wood under a window and a hole in the ceiling, probably meant for smoke from fires, was designed with a little elevated cap on it to protect from snow.

That was odd. Deserts weren’t supposed to get snow, so why would the homes be built to handle it?

“Did you prepare any fire spells today?” Redcloak asked, going over to the pile of wood and setting logs up in the middle of the dirt floor.

“Of course.”

Redcloak backed away and Vaarsuvius sent a fireball at the wood, immediately starting the flame. The goblin reflexively jumped a little away from the fire, quickly making sure that it wouldn’t catch on the house. “Don’t get too close right now. You don’t want to warm up too fast.”

The elf didn’t comment when the goblin took delicate hands between his own, slowly warming them to avoid tissue damage. The fire cracked gently but did little to heat up the room. The warmth kept flowing out the windows.

The silence made Redcloak very uncomfortable, but he still wasn’t quite ready to reach out again. He and Vaarsuvius had become dangerously intimate in the last few days, and the elf was right to try to push him away. They wouldn’t be able to fight each other if this kept up.

“We’ll be okay. I promise.”

He had been so stupid to say that, but he couldn’t bring himself to regret it. It was, quite frankly, a promise he couldn’t keep. They wouldn’t be okay. One or both of them was going to come out of this whole thing dead or worse.

Vaarsuvius was doing the smart thing by trying to drive a wedge between them. It hurt, and he worried about both of their abilities to cope with the monstrous dungeon if they didn’t allow each other close, but he knew that Vaarsuvius was right.

He slipped his hands away from the elf’s. “It should be okay to be close to the fire, now.”

They both silently sat near the fire, the uncomfortable silence stretching.

Vaarsuvius suddenly stiffened, ears twitching. Redcloak glanced at his lover in confusion. “Vaarsuvius?”

“…I seem to have detected some strange sounds outside.”

The goblin stood up immediately, walking to the window and glancing out at the wintry landscape.

He tensed, stifling a growl in his throat and doing his best to hide any signs of distress.

“Redcloak?”

That was when he realized that he couldn’t hide anything from Vaarsuvius.

Blood spatters stained the white ground. That alone wouldn’t bother him—it was a cheap visual trick. What bothered him was the fact that four people were sitting in the snow, one of them holding his own decapitated head in his hands. He knew those people.

They were the soldiers he had gotten a brief glance of when he first found Vaarsuvius in the throws of a vision.

A sharp intake of air next to him alerted him to the fact that his lover had stood up and looked out the window to see what was wrong.

Redcloak spun around and stepped so that his body covered the window, taking Vaarsuvius’s arm gently. “Go back to the fire. We should have something to eat.”

“I… they…”

“Vaarsuvius, it’s just an illusion. It can’t hurt you if you don’t let it.” He gently yet firmly tugged the elf to the fire again. “Sit down—we should have some food in our packs.”

The elf paused, then numbly nodded, passively allowing the goblin to lead the way back to the fire.

Redcloak did his best to not wonder about the significance of the soldiers. He had just resolved a mere moment before to push Vaarsuvius away, and he knew well enough how private the elf was. It was a small miracle that his lover had been able to mention the trauma of finding someone hanging themselves, even after all they had been through. After everything that they both had suffered, the last thing he wanted was to make Vaarsuvius feel more afraid and insecure about him.

He opened up their packs and pulled out an apple, giving it to the elf. “There isn’t much to eat left, but I think I can make something a little more substantial. I’ll cover up the windows first—all the warm air is leaking out.”

Vaarsuvius nodded in thanks, understanding the favor the goblin was doing, eyes fixed on something in the fire that Redcloak could not see, and bit into the apple. The goblin stood up, pulling their blankets from their packs and using them to cover the windows. It wasn’t like they would need them that night. The bed they had stumbled on had a perfectly suitable one.

Redcloak used what little they had to cook for both of them. He had to coax Vaarsuvius to finish it off, noting with worry that his lover looked even more ashen than usual. The fact that the elf was sick niggled at him, and he had the sense that he would know what was wrong if he only looked closer at the symptoms. Dizzy spells, abdomable pain, unusual sensitivity in the breasts (he had noticed that easily)…

“Redcloak, what happens if they attack us?”

He was pulled out of his train of thought and looked at the elf curiously.

“Of course we both have spells, but they are creatures made from the very world around us. We cannot run through the snow and hope to escape, and if we vanquish them, more will come.”

“I don’t think they’re there to attack us.” Redcloak pushed his empty plate to the side, leaning forward a little and adding some wood to the fire. “They’re there to make us afraid. That’s what this place depends on. Fear, pain, and desire. Admittedly, it seems to be focusing mostly on pain and fear for us, but there’s probably a reason for that.”

The elf nodded silently, staring at the flames.

“Vaarsuvius, why are they haunting you?”

Redcloak knew that he shouldn’t ask. Vaarsuvius knew it too.

The elf looked up at him, expression difficult to read.

“I know that they’re what you have nightmares about. I know that their… I don’t know, presence has been following us since the start. I know that they mean something.” He tentatively reached out, brushing a strand of hair back from Vaarsuvius’s face and behind a pointy ear. “Why?”

There was a long silence.

“Redcloak, I do not wish to speak of this.”

He shouldn’t push his luck. He really shouldn’t.

The goblin lightly stroked the elf’s cheek, frowning. “Vaarsuvius, this has been plaguing you since before we met.” He hesitated briefly. “I don’t like seeing you tormented like this.”

Vaarsuvius shook a small head. “There is nothing you can do to help, Redcloak.”

“How do I know unless you tell me?”

The elf was very, very quiet for a while. Redcloak wondered for a moment if he had offended his lover, but if he had, he would have been slapped for his troubles. “During the battle…” Vaarsuvius paused, closing violet eyes and taking a deep breath. Redcloak had to stifle a small jerk of surprise—he hadn’t expected his lover to open up. Then again, maybe that was what was needed. “During the battle at Azure City, I ran out of spells. I did not see anything else I could do to assist. I fled.” The elf undid the purple ponytail slowly, letting the long wild hair hang loosely. Redcloak listened carefully, fully aware of the likelihood that he was the only one that Vaarsuvius had trusted with this information. “I was invisible. A group of soldiers crashed into me and correctly assumed that I was the elven wizard that had been assisting in the battle.”

The elf stopped dead, lips pursed until they were white. Redcloak tentatively touched Vaarsuvius’s hand, doubtful that the contact would be appreciated. Vaarsuvius grasped the offered hand tightly.

“They begged me to save them. I could not. They were slaughtered.”

Vaarsuvius was completely silent for a moment, face grim, muscles stiff. Redcloak wasn’t quite sure how to deal with it, so he settled with squeezing the small hand in his gasp and nuzzling the slender neck gently.

“For all my power, I could not save them.”

Redcloak politely pretended to not notice the suspicious glassiness in the elf’s eyes. Vaarsuvius shook a pale head, regaining the aloof and unconcerned mask that had been cracking more and more since they entered the dungeon.

“But, of course, logically, I did what I should have. I can only take the experience as a lesson. I will not make such mistakes again. It is rather pointless that you insisted on me talking about it at all—it is in the past.”

The goblin didn’t point out the tremors going up and down the elf’s body. He didn’t point out the barely contained wetness in violet eyes. He didn’t point out how fragile the tiny creature suddenly seemed, how it looked like, with all the demons the dungeon had forced upon the fiery mage, the seams were coming undone.

He simply slipped his arm around the elf’s waist, murmuring something softly in Goblin and nuzzling a slender neck.

Vaarsuvius leaned into his touches, satisfied with not having to show how deeply the deaths of the soldiers had imprinted themselves on the elf. Their fingers stayed intertwined. They leaned towards each other, touching lips tenderly before resting their foreheads against one another.

“No matter how many reasons are presented to us, we continue to nurse our relationship. Why is that, Redcloak?” Vaarsuvius murmured softly, voice weighed down by despair and pain that the mage would never admit to. It felt like something heavy was just taken off the thin shoulders, but all that was left was a very tired elf.

“We work out well together.” A slightly subdued smile flickered over Redcloak’s lips. “If it hadn’t been for the alignment and species differences, I think we could have been really happy with each other.”

“I believe so as well.” Vaarsuvius lightly fingered Redcloak’s cheek. “I would have been willing to work past both obstacles under different circumstances.”

“Under different circumstances.” Redcloak smiled, eyes dim. “But it’s pointless to speculate about different circumstances. These are the ones we have.”

“Indeed they are.”

They looked at the fire, leaning against each other, the goblin subtly trying to think of a way to ease his partner’s distress and the nightmares that would obviously descend that night. Redcloak reached up absently, running his fingers through the elf’s loose hair. His nails lightly brushed against pointy ears, sending tangible tremors through his lover’s body.

Vaarsuvius let out a low warble, turning a small head to kiss Redcloak softly. The goblin easily moved so that they were in a more comfortable position and started stroking the ears firmly.

The elf let out a soft gasp, crawling closer to the goblin, tilting a pale head and exposing a slender neck, showing off the trust they had unwisely built between each other. Redcloak’s teeth were sharp and strong enough to rip the elf’s exposed throat open before so much as a scream could be uttered.

With a satisfied growl deep in his chest, Redcloak leaned forward, nuzzling and kissing his lover’s neck while continuing to massage the pointed ears. Vaarsuvius let out another warble, pawing at their clothes.

Redcloak had no intention of taking anything off. Vaarsuvius wasn’t in the right state of mind to consent, and the goblin would feel too much like he was taking advantage of his lover, regardless of what the elf did or didn’t want. He made no movement to encourage Vaarsuvius, instead continuing to kiss a slender neck and stroke the pointed ears. His lover’s face flushed and the tiny body started to tremble, delicate arms slipping around the goblin’s neck. “Redcloak…”

The goblin kissed the elf gently, letting out a gentle purr, and continued his ministrations. Vaarsuvius breathed heavily, body heating up, odd sounds that the mage would normally never utter falling from slightly swollen lips.

It was only a small while of ear stroking until the elf stiffened against the goblin, letting out a soft cry before burying a flushed face in a green neck, gasping a long stream of breathless Elven, and going limp after a moment of intensity.

Vaarsuvius breathed heavily, chest heaving, and violet eyes were glazed over with afterglow. Redcloak gently picked his lover up, carrying the tiny and compliant body to the bed, wrapping the little elf in the covers.

The mage shifted, looking up at the goblin, unable to muster up the strength to be peeved when the elf realized what the cleric’s intentions had been. “Manipulative beast.”

“I didn’t want you to have any nightmares. I just made sure that your brain let out all the chemicals it needed to be happy for now.” Redcloak smiled amusedly, unclasping his cloak. “And at least one of us needs our strength in case we’re attacked in the middle of the night, so I figured that we should hold off on using up energy with sex.”

He pulled off his armor, carefully putting it next to the bed and climbing under the covers, wrapping his arms around his lover’s waist and pressing up against a small back. Redcloak lovingly brushed his lips against the elf’s temple, provoking a satisfied ‘mmm.’

“Next time you attempt a trick like this, I shall be forced to use my not-inconsiderable arcane might against you.”

“I’m sure you will be.” Redcloak rested his head on a pillow, smiling and lightly stroking his lover’s abdomen. He murmured a few words softly in Goblin, nuzzling the elf’s hair and sighing in contentment. “I love you.”

“What does that mean, Redcloak? You know that I do not understand Goblin.”

Redcloak kissed Vaarsuvius’s neck gently. “It was an affectionate way of saying goodnight.”

“Oh.” Vaarsuvius lightly fingered the goblin’s hand. “Good night, Redcloak.” A smile flickered over the elf’s lips. “I would use a more affectionate term, but Common does not provide one and Elven has no words that would fit.”

“That’s alright.” The goblin smiled wistfully, tightening his grip only a little. “Good night.”

Vaarsuvius smiled faintly and slipped into a satisfied trance, still bathing in afterglow. Redcloak fell asleep soon afterwards.

Thoughts?

(I've spent way too much time in English class. I'm actually trying to pull off literary techniques that no one picks up on unless they're a total English nerd reading a book they expect to find that stuff in.)

[Zanaril]

Elves and their ears... :smallbiggrin:

Well, it's probably significant that V finally told someone about the soldiers, but also that she admitted it was the only logical thing she could have done.

As for the literary techniques... I've never been very good at picking up on them. :smallfrown:

[CoffeeIncluded]

Again, good one. Nice job with writing a scene like that as tastefully as possible.

(Elven ears...*Laughs*)

And is it that Reddy actually said "I love you"?

[Meg]

Hooray for a new chapter. Much to my English teacher's dismay, the only literary technique I remember is foreshadowing, which is hard to pick up on if you don't know what's going to happen. But there were a couple things that could be foreshadowing, so that's my guess.

Also, did V almost tell him she's pregnant?

[Taekwondodo]

Finally finished my story! Phew, longest yet...

Disclaimer: I take no responsibility for the choice of characters. It was a random pairing voiced on this thread which would not let me go! So without further ado I give you:

Edward x Tsukiko/Someone is a vampire (I crack myself up sometimes!:smallbiggrin::smallbiggrin:)

A strange world. A world ruled by dice and magic. A world with dragons and elves and ogres. A world where green-skinned, tusked men under the thrall of a walking skeleton with evil radiating out of his every fleshless limb worked to control a portal that could unleash destruction into their world. A world with Bella in danger and Edward in the arms of another woman. A woman with odd bicoloured eyes and power over the undead.


X X X

Alice woke from her trance to see Carlisle standing in front of her with a worried look on his face.

“You were gone for a while, Alice. What did you see?”

Her face twisted into a puzzled frown as she tried to answer him as best she could.

“A strange place, obviously not of this world but somehow Edward and Bella will manage to travel there. They’re in trouble, Carlisle, we have to warn them. They should still be at Charlie’s, come on!”

Neither spoke on the drive over but pulling up to the house Alice turned to Carlisle with fear in her eyes.

“Shouldn’t Edward have heard us, our thoughts, by now?” she asked, looking for reassurance.

“Maybe he just doesn’t want to scare Charlie.” He soothed, stepping out of the car.

“Alice? Carlisle? What are you doing here? Is something wrong?” asked a surprised Charlie as he opened the door to see the two of them on his porch.

“Sorry to bother you so late,” began Carlisle “but we need to talk to Bella and Edward. May we come in?”

Charlie looked puzzled. “Sure, you can come in but aren’t they at your house?”

“What do you mean?”

“They left about half an hour ago saying they were driving to yours. They should be there by now shouldn’t they?”

Alice gasped, raising her hands to her mouth as if to try and stop the sound from escaping. She turned despairing eyes to Carlisle and whispered, “We’re too late, they’re gone.”


X X X

Dark and quiet. A flicker of torches further down the corridor and the slight whisper that promised people, but here shadows and silence reined. Bella looked around, fear causing her breath to hitch in her throat.

“Edward?” she called softly, longing for the cool embrace of his marble arms. Where was he, and where was she for that matter? OK, what was the last thing she remembered? They had left Charlie’s to go to the Cullen’s, got in the truck, started driving, Edward had said something funny and then…nothing. She was here, in the dark, and Edward was missing. She realized the voices had become more distinct and, hoping they were friendly, crept closer to listen.

“I give you one job and you can’t even do that properly.”

A second voice answered but it was too faint to make out what it said.

“I don’t care what happened, I don’t care what you felt. I. Don’t. Care! Just get out of my sight!”

The second voice whispered again.

“Of course come to my room later.” This voice had changed, become more caressing. “You’re not just minions for Xykon you know, at least that’s not why I make you! Now off you go and I’ll see you later.”

Intrigued by this conversation, Bella had crept closer and closer to the source and the flickering light cast by the torches. This meant she saw the bearer of one of the voices clearly as he came round the corner. A man, or what used to be, with mouldy, ripped clothes, pale skin, vacant staring eyes and flesh hanging off his bones. He was coming straight towards her, she fainted.


X X X

She woke up to see a woman standing over her. Pale skinned, with black hair in pigtails and eyes of two different colours, she looked innocuous enough but some twist of feature, some erratic glint in her eyes warned Bella that this woman was dangerous. Her predatory smile when she saw Bella was awake only confirmed that feeling. Bella had seen a smile like that only once before, when James had lured her home and was threatening to kill her.

“Rise and shine!” the mystery woman trilled in a sickly sweet tone. She looked away from Bella for a moment and spoke to someone else. “Don’t just stand there, help her up.”

Bella felt two pairs of cold, lifeless hands lift her to her feet. She flinched away from their touch when she realised they were more zombies, hardly daring even to whisper the word in her own head. This close, the smell of rotting flesh was almost overpowering and she fought hard to keep from vomiting or fainting again. Noticing Bella’s now green tinged complexion, the woman laughed gaily.

“What’s wrong? Aren’t you keen on my babies? Once you get to know them they can be rather charming. Anyway, introductions! My name is Tsukiko, what’s yours?” she asked in the same sweet tone. Bella stayed silent and Tsukiko’s demeanour changed at once.

“Look bitch.” She hissed, grabbing Bella’s hair and pulling tight. “You have somehow managed to infiltrate our castle with no-one noticing you and when Xykon finds out he will not be happy. So, either you co-operate fully or what I do to you to get answers will seem as nothing compared to what he will do. We can heal you and break you and heal you and break you until you wish you were dead so don’t play with me, right? Will you co-operate?”

“Yes.” Bella whispered. She had managed to stifle a scream but tears of pain ran down her face. Instantly Tsukiko’s mood lightened.

“Good girl.” She purred, smoothing down Bella’s hair and using her thumbs to wipe the tears from her face. Bella tried to recoil from the contact but the zombies either side of her still held tight to her arms.

“Hush.” Soothed Tsukiko, moving away instead. “Let’s start again shall we, name?”

“Bella, Isabella Swan.”

“See that wasn’t so hard was it? Now, you’re obviously not a paladin but do you come from Azure city?”

“Where? No, I live in Forks, Washington.”

“Not somewhere I’ve heard of. How did you get in?”

“I don’t know. I don’t remember.”

Tsukiko’s voice turned flinty again. “Try.”

“Well it was just, one minute I’m with Edward, Edward Cullen my boyfriend, and the next I’m here.”

“A boyfriend? Did he come here with you?” The predatory smile was back and there was an excited glint in her eye.

“I don’t know, when I got here I was alone.”

“Hmmm... You.” She called, pointing at a third undead Bella had not noticed in the shadows. “Alert everyone that there is a possible male intruder. If located he is not to be harmed but I am to be informed immediately, understand.” The ghoul nodded then scurried off.

“You two follow me and bring her; we’re going to go see Xykon and Redcloak. Who knows, they might even be in a good mood!”


X X X

Edward ran through the seemingly endless blue corridors, senses straining to locate Bella, searching for a whiff of her scent or even a flash of her face in someone’s mind. Some of the minds he encountered, however, were strange, alien to him and he shied away from the gruesome images he was shown; a battle, many dead, many more injured, the cool relief of death only to be dragged back into a brutal semblance of life. Coming to another junction he distinctly heard his name being called in a sing song voice.

“Edward! Come out, come out wherever you are!”

Moving closer to where the call was coming from, cautiously now, he became aware of Bella’s unique fragrance in the air. She must be with whoever was calling him. Entering the room he didn’t even acknowledge the other three figures, two of which were holding her up, as he had eyes only for Bella and they filled with pain as he saw what had happened to her. Already bruises were starting to form on her pale skin and a series of long, deep gashes on her cheek showed when she had been slapped by a bony hand. His features twisted into a snarl of rage and he began advancing on the other individuals.

“Uh, uh, uh!” the lone female scolded, stepping forward. “Play nice now.” She looked up into his face as if searching for something then nodded, apparently satisfied with what she had seen.

“A vampire!” she muttered to herself. “She didn’t mention that. This changes things.” She turned to the zombies holding Bella. “Turns out we don’t need her after all. I guess you can put her in the dungeon until I’ve decided what to turn her into.”

“What? Edward!” Bella screamed.

“Bella, no!” He lunged towards her planning on dragging her away from the undead holding her, re-killing them if necessary.

“Command Undead.” No more than a whisper.

He stopped. Bella was still there, screaming, pleading for him to help her but suddenly it didn’t seem to matter, she didn’t seem to matter. His whole consciousness was focused on Tsukiko. Her very being filled his mind with purpose and when she smiled at him it felt like his life before that point hadn’t existed. Her voice was a chorus of angels which he couldn’t help but obey.

“Edward?” Bella whispered, disturbed by the look of adoration on his face as he gazed at Tsukiko, who turned to Bella and grinned, a smile of triumph and something else she couldn’t quite place.

“Too late,” she gloated, “he’s mine now! A vampire? Too easy.”

“No... Edward? Edward it’s Bella. Speak to me Edward.”

“Yes Edward, speak to her.” Tsukiko agreed, stroking his face. “Tell her you’re sorry but it’s over. Tell her you love somebody else. Tell her it probably wouldn’t have worked anyway. Tell her she was never good enough for you. Tell her you never really loved her. Tell her you never want to see her again.” Then she watched, delighted, as Edward repeated her words and broke Bella’s heart. She sighed happily.

“Ah, so much fun! You can remove her now.” The zombies dragged Bella away, so broken she didn’t even bother to try and fight them. “And you,” she breathed to Edward, “can kiss me.”


The End

Thoughts?

I'm not entirely happy with the beginning but can't think how to change it, I feel I repeat their names too much. The original has the F word but I removed it to post here. It only has it once but I do think it needs it. Original is, as always, on fanfiction.net.

[Meg]

Hehe. That was awesome. That is all I have to say.

[DarkElfGangsta]

Done! my first story! I'd appreciate both praises and criticisms! Julia x Nale!
What do you think?

"You Damn Brat!"
Nale, barely able to contro his anger, stomped towards the smirking, dark-skinned teenager. She was tied to a chair, with her hands behind her back.
She was there for three days now, each other's sole company.
Sabine was over in the demonic realms, searching for powrful demonic allies who would join their cause.
Nale didn't want to think about how exactly she would persuade them.
Thog was patrolling the city streets, looking for the occasional victim that could be lured to their apartment near the city square. Nale was stuck at the warehouse, guarding Julia. He felt angry, and frustrated, and bored to tears,
so he removed her gag in order to chase the boredom away by taunting her.
He didn't think he was going to be the one to lose his temper first.
She kept smirking even as he drew his sword and let the point rest against her throat.
"I warn you, little girl: disrespect me once more and I'll kill you without a second thought! keep. your. mouth. shut."
He looked into her eyes then, wily, chocolate-brown, and deep. they twinkled with mischief. he knew that she was looking into his eyes as well, and was enraged to see that what she saw there made her smirk grow wider.
still he did nothing to follow up on his threat.
he was lost, in her eyes, those warm and stinging eyes, locked with his own blue and cold ones. he lowered his sword. a sense of peace washed over him.
She got up from his chair, and somehow he did not find this very alarming.
he opened his mouth to protest -
she reached forward then, and her lips locked on his.
Nale's mind went blank - his lover was a sex demon, but still nothing Sabine could do ever came close to this feeling.
he felt hot, as if the was burning iron under his skin. his face prickled, her hair stinging his face as they leaned deeper into each other's embrace.
she put a hand through his hair, massaging his neck.
Nale wished this moment could go on forever: just him and this dark-skinned angel, locked in this white-hot moment for all eterni-
BAM
"Thog can be brown, thog can be blue, thog can be violet sky, Thog can be hurtful, thog can be purple, thog can be anything you'd likeee... Nale, not-nale is in city!.
Nale pushed Julia away, gagged her, and tied her in the chair before Thog could round the crates hiding him from the door. He was shaking. he looked down at Julia, saw the affront and hurt in her eyes, and cursed the universe for making him who he is, for putting him in this position, for forcing him to break the first time in his life that he felt complete and happy.

[Taekwondodo]

V cool DarkElfGangsta. I hope to read more from you in the future. One question, why is every sentence on a new line? Oh, second question, what did you think of mine?

[DarkElfGangsta]

taekwondodo, thanks for your review. I read yours, and I I enjoyed how you smoothly integrated twilight with OOTs. that thing with tsukiko was a real BAM to the face! what I know about twilight can fill 2 lines, but even I enjoyed it.
in short, great story, great writing!:smallbiggrin:

[Lawyergoblin]

Three good stories on one page. I wish I could write that well.:smallannoyed:

[Aaron]

Three good stories on one page. I wish I could write that well.:smallannoyed:

Same here. I can't even come close to these other stories. :smallsigh:

[Saeyan]

I had this good, as in really, really great, idea for a V/Z picture after my first post after coming back. But I forgot it. :smallmad:


Vaarsuvius smiled faintly and slipped into a satisfied trance, still bathing in afterglow.

This makes it sound like afterglow is...milk, or something. "Bathed" would be better.

Like the rest very much though! V is hot.

ohhi'msotired

[Dark_Stryke]

Water-Smurf, excellent as always. I'll read Gangsta and Taek later, I promise.

Ugh, this is making me want to try my hand at a pairing. I've got a Roy/Miko story tugging at the corners of my mind, specifically a "what if?" story where they meet in the afterlife during the time Roy was dead. Which I guess is pretty tame as far as crack fic goes.

Has anyone done that yet?

[Kaytara]

Well, it's probably significant that V finally told someone about the soldiers, but also that she admitted it was the only logical thing she could have done.


V has been insisting that it was the only logical thing she could have done since the very beginning, though. My own pet theory is that V redeemed himself by NOT doing the logical thing with O-Chul and accepted that logic was not the highest ideal he had treating it as.

Water-Smurf, since your story has V still being very tormented despite having come back to save O-Chul, I'd be interested in learning more about how V's psychology functions there, what role saving O-Chul DID play and more to the point, how V interpreted that incident. :)


I present to you, V/RC. This chapter doesn't advance the plot too much, but I think that something of significance happens. (Try to point it out if you can. :smallwink: )

Hopefully, I didn't break any rules with this.

“We can’t keep this up in this weather.”

Vaarsuvius simply stopped walking, trying to hide the violent shivers running up and down the small elven body. The snow was rapidly gathering on the street, and they had almost slipped and fallen on the ice several times. The white fluff from the sky already had gotten to the point where it nearly reached the travelers’ knees, and it showed no sign of stopping. “Where do you suggest we settle, then?”

“One of the houses. At least they will keep the snow out over the night.”

Vaarsuvius didn’t protest. Redcloak noted with worry that the tips of the elf’s fingers had taken a bluish color, but he didn’t comment. His cheek still stung where Vaarsuvius had struck it, and he doubted that the elf would react any better to his concern just then.

They both trekked to one of the closer homes, having to struggle a little to get the door open and walk inside.

Redcloak forced the door closed, glancing around the hut. The first thing he noticed was that there was one bed for two with a thick blanket. (Well, he was fine with that—it’s not like they hadn’t slept together before.) There was a pile of wood under a window and a hole in the ceiling, probably meant for smoke from fires, was designed with a little elevated cap on it to protect from snow.

That was odd. Deserts weren’t supposed to get snow, so why would the homes be built to handle it?

“Did you prepare any fire spells today?” Redcloak asked, going over to the pile of wood and setting logs up in the middle of the dirt floor.

“Of course.”

Redcloak backed away and Vaarsuvius sent a fireball at the wood, immediately starting the flame. The goblin reflexively jumped a little away from the fire, quickly making sure that it wouldn’t catch on the house. “Don’t get too close right now. You don’t want to warm up too fast.”

The elf didn’t comment when the goblin took delicate hands between his own, slowly warming them to avoid tissue damage. The fire cracked gently but did little to heat up the room. The warmth kept flowing out the windows.

The silence made Redcloak very uncomfortable, but he still wasn’t quite ready to reach out again. He and Vaarsuvius had become dangerously intimate in the last few days, and the elf was right to try to push him away. They wouldn’t be able to fight each other if this kept up.

“We’ll be okay. I promise.”

He had been so stupid to say that, but he couldn’t bring himself to regret it. It was, quite frankly, a promise he couldn’t keep. They wouldn’t be okay. One or both of them was going to come out of this whole thing dead or worse.

Vaarsuvius was doing the smart thing by trying to drive a wedge between them. It hurt, and he worried about both of their abilities to cope with the monstrous dungeon if they didn’t allow each other close, but he knew that Vaarsuvius was right.

He slipped his hands away from the elf’s. “It should be okay to be close to the fire, now.”

They both silently sat near the fire, the uncomfortable silence stretching.

Vaarsuvius suddenly stiffened, ears twitching. Redcloak glanced at his lover in confusion. “Vaarsuvius?”

“…I seem to have detected some strange sounds outside.”

The goblin stood up immediately, walking to the window and glancing out at the wintry landscape.

He tensed, stifling a growl in his throat and doing his best to hide any signs of distress.

“Redcloak?”

That was when he realized that he couldn’t hide anything from Vaarsuvius.

Blood spatters stained the white ground. That alone wouldn’t bother him—it was a cheap visual trick. What bothered him was the fact that four people were sitting in the snow, one of them holding his own decapitated head in his hands. He knew those people.

They were the soldiers he had gotten a brief glance of when he first found Vaarsuvius in the throws of a vision.

A sharp intake of air next to him alerted him to the fact that his lover had stood up and looked out the window to see what was wrong.

Redcloak spun around and stepped so that his body covered the window, taking Vaarsuvius’s arm gently. “Go back to the fire. We should have something to eat.”

“I… they…”

“Vaarsuvius, it’s just an illusion. It can’t hurt you if you don’t let it.” He gently yet firmly tugged the elf to the fire again. “Sit down—we should have some food in our packs.”

The elf paused, then numbly nodded, passively allowing the goblin to lead the way back to the fire.

Redcloak did his best to not wonder about the significance of the soldiers. He had just resolved a mere moment before to push Vaarsuvius away, and he knew well enough how private the elf was. It was a small miracle that his lover had been able to mention the trauma of finding someone hanging themselves, even after all they had been through. After everything that they both had suffered, the last thing he wanted was to make Vaarsuvius feel more afraid and insecure about him.

He opened up their packs and pulled out an apple, giving it to the elf. “There isn’t much to eat left, but I think I can make something a little more substantial. I’ll cover up the windows first—all the warm air is leaking out.”

Vaarsuvius nodded in thanks, understanding the favor the goblin was doing, eyes fixed on something in the fire that Redcloak could not see, and bit into the apple. The goblin stood up, pulling their blankets from their packs and using them to cover the windows. It wasn’t like they would need them that night. The bed they had stumbled on had a perfectly suitable one.

Redcloak used what little they had to cook for both of them. He had to coax Vaarsuvius to finish it off, noting with worry that his lover looked even more ashen than usual. The fact that the elf was sick niggled at him, and he had the sense that he would know what was wrong if he only looked closer at the symptoms. Dizzy spells, abdomable pain, unusual sensitivity in the breasts (he had noticed that easily)…

“Redcloak, what happens if they attack us?”

He was pulled out of his train of thought and looked at the elf curiously.

“Of course we both have spells, but they are creatures made from the very world around us. We cannot run through the snow and hope to escape, and if we vanquish them, more will come.”

“I don’t think they’re there to attack us.” Redcloak pushed his empty plate to the side, leaning forward a little and adding some wood to the fire. “They’re there to make us afraid. That’s what this place depends on. Fear, pain, and desire. Admittedly, it seems to be focusing mostly on pain and fear for us, but there’s probably a reason for that.”

The elf nodded silently, staring at the flames.

“Vaarsuvius, why are they haunting you?”

Redcloak knew that he shouldn’t ask. Vaarsuvius knew it too.

The elf looked up at him, expression difficult to read.

“I know that they’re what you have nightmares about. I know that their… I don’t know, presence has been following us since the start. I know that they mean something.” He tentatively reached out, brushing a strand of hair back from Vaarsuvius’s face and behind a pointy ear. “Why?”

There was a long silence.

“Redcloak, I do not wish to speak of this.”

He shouldn’t push his luck. He really shouldn’t.

The goblin lightly stroked the elf’s cheek, frowning. “Vaarsuvius, this has been plaguing you since before we met.” He hesitated briefly. “I don’t like seeing you tormented like this.”

Vaarsuvius shook a small head. “There is nothing you can do to help, Redcloak.”

“How do I know unless you tell me?”

The elf was very, very quiet for a while. Redcloak wondered for a moment if he had offended his lover, but if he had, he would have been slapped for his troubles. “During the battle…” Vaarsuvius paused, closing violet eyes and taking a deep breath. Redcloak had to stifle a small jerk of surprise—he hadn’t expected his lover to open up. Then again, maybe that was what was needed. “During the battle at Azure City, I ran out of spells. I did not see anything else I could do to assist. I fled.” The elf undid the purple ponytail slowly, letting the long wild hair hang loosely. Redcloak listened carefully, fully aware of the likelihood that he was the only one that Vaarsuvius had trusted with this information. “I was invisible. A group of soldiers crashed into me and correctly assumed that I was the elven wizard that had been assisting in the battle.”

The elf stopped dead, lips pursed until they were white. Redcloak tentatively touched Vaarsuvius’s hand, doubtful that the contact would be appreciated. Vaarsuvius grasped the offered hand tightly.

“They begged me to save them. I could not. They were slaughtered.”

Vaarsuvius was completely silent for a moment, face grim, muscles stiff. Redcloak wasn’t quite sure how to deal with it, so he settled with squeezing the small hand in his gasp and nuzzling the slender neck gently.

“For all my power, I could not save them.”

Redcloak politely pretended to not notice the suspicious glassiness in the elf’s eyes. Vaarsuvius shook a pale head, regaining the aloof and unconcerned mask that had been cracking more and more since they entered the dungeon.

“But, of course, logically, I did what I should have. I can only take the experience as a lesson. I will not make such mistakes again. It is rather pointless that you insisted on me talking about it at all—it is in the past.”

The goblin didn’t point out the tremors going up and down the elf’s body. He didn’t point out the barely contained wetness in violet eyes. He didn’t point out how fragile the tiny creature suddenly seemed, how it looked like, with all the demons the dungeon had forced upon the fiery mage, the seams were coming undone.

He simply slipped his arm around the elf’s waist, murmuring something softly in Goblin and nuzzling a slender neck.

Vaarsuvius leaned into his touches, satisfied with not having to show how deeply the deaths of the soldiers had imprinted themselves on the elf. Their fingers stayed intertwined. They leaned towards each other, touching lips tenderly before resting their foreheads against one another.

“No matter how many reasons are presented to us, we continue to nurse our relationship. Why is that, Redcloak?” Vaarsuvius murmured softly, voice weighed down by despair and pain that the mage would never admit to. It felt like something heavy was just taken off the thin shoulders, but all that was left was a very tired elf.

“We work out well together.” A slightly subdued smile flickered over Redcloak’s lips. “If it hadn’t been for the alignment and species differences, I think we could have been really happy with each other.”

“I believe so as well.” Vaarsuvius lightly fingered Redcloak’s cheek. “I would have been willing to work past both obstacles under different circumstances.”

“Under different circumstances.” Redcloak smiled, eyes dim. “But it’s pointless to speculate about different circumstances. These are the ones we have.”

“Indeed they are.”

They looked at the fire, leaning against each other, the goblin subtly trying to think of a way to ease his partner’s distress and the nightmares that would obviously descend that night. Redcloak reached up absently, running his fingers through the elf’s loose hair. His nails lightly brushed against pointy ears, sending tangible tremors through his lover’s body.

Vaarsuvius let out a low warble, turning a small head to kiss Redcloak softly. The goblin easily moved so that they were in a more comfortable position and started stroking the ears firmly.

The elf let out a soft gasp, crawling closer to the goblin, tilting a pale head and exposing a slender neck, showing off the trust they had unwisely built between each other. Redcloak’s teeth were sharp and strong enough to rip the elf’s exposed throat open before so much as a scream could be uttered.

With a satisfied growl deep in his chest, Redcloak leaned forward, nuzzling and kissing his lover’s neck while continuing to massage the pointed ears. Vaarsuvius let out another warble, pawing at their clothes.

Redcloak had no intention of taking anything off. Vaarsuvius wasn’t in the right state of mind to consent, and the goblin would feel too much like he was taking advantage of his lover, regardless of what the elf did or didn’t want. He made no movement to encourage Vaarsuvius, instead continuing to kiss a slender neck and stroke the pointed ears. His lover’s face flushed and the tiny body started to tremble, delicate arms slipping around the goblin’s neck. “Redcloak…”

The goblin kissed the elf gently, letting out a gentle purr, and continued his ministrations. Vaarsuvius breathed heavily, body heating up, odd sounds that the mage would normally never utter falling from slightly swollen lips.

It was only a small while of ear stroking until the elf stiffened against the goblin, letting out a soft cry before burying a flushed face in a green neck, gasping a long stream of breathless Elven, and going limp after a moment of intensity.

Vaarsuvius breathed heavily, chest heaving, and violet eyes were glazed over with afterglow. Redcloak gently picked his lover up, carrying the tiny and compliant body to the bed, wrapping the little elf in the covers.

The mage shifted, looking up at the goblin, unable to muster up the strength to be peeved when the elf realized what the cleric’s intentions had been. “Manipulative beast.”

“I didn’t want you to have any nightmares. I just made sure that your brain let out all the chemicals it needed to be happy for now.” Redcloak smiled amusedly, unclasping his cloak. “And at least one of us needs our strength in case we’re attacked in the middle of the night, so I figured that we should hold off on using up energy with sex.”

He pulled off his armor, carefully putting it next to the bed and climbing under the covers, wrapping his arms around his lover’s waist and pressing up against a small back. Redcloak lovingly brushed his lips against the elf’s temple, provoking a satisfied ‘mmm.’

“Next time you attempt a trick like this, I shall be forced to use my not-inconsiderable arcane might against you.”

“I’m sure you will be.” Redcloak rested his head on a pillow, smiling and lightly stroking his lover’s abdomen. He murmured a few words softly in Goblin, nuzzling the elf’s hair and sighing in contentment. “I love you.”

“What does that mean, Redcloak? You know that I do not understand Goblin.”

Redcloak kissed Vaarsuvius’s neck gently. “It was an affectionate way of saying goodnight.”

“Oh.” Vaarsuvius lightly fingered the goblin’s hand. “Good night, Redcloak.” A smile flickered over the elf’s lips. “I would use a more affectionate term, but Common does not provide one and Elven has no words that would fit.”

“That’s alright.” The goblin smiled wistfully, tightening his grip only a little. “Good night.”

Vaarsuvius smiled faintly and slipped into a satisfied trance, still bathing in afterglow. Redcloak fell asleep soon afterwards.

Thoughts?

(I've spent way too much time in English class. I'm actually trying to pull off literary techniques that no one picks up on unless they're a total English nerd reading a book they expect to find that stuff in.)

Great chapter. You characterise V very well. His confession about the soldiers was exactly the way I would have expected it - terse, with only the bare facts, and the implications mostly left between the lines. (The only exception is that I would expect V to kick himself more for having been too paralyzed with panic to even whisper a warning to them, but maybe that's to come later? For a first step, V's already revealed enough.)

One little point of criticism: Since you're writing V, it would be good to brush up on arcane spells. ^^; Fireball has a huge range and seems like not just overkill but potentially suicidal when lighting a fire. Something like Burning Hands, Scorching Ray or best just that Flaming Finger cantrip V scribed in On the Origins of PCs would be better.

I'm wondering about the strange house they're in. A house with a capped opening for snow that doesn't keep the warmth in, but still far too many openings for something that presumably has to endure sandstorms in the desert... Then again, this is a crazy illusion dungeon designed to drive them mad. I'm not really expecting logic there. :D

Glad that Reddy's decided to keep both their sex drives under control. It kind of stretched plausibility the first time when they allowed themselves to be vulnerable to danger like that. ^^;

I loved your explanation of how Girard went nuts in a previous chapter, by the way. :)

Keep writing. :D I'll soon have a little sketch of Tiasal, Xykon and Tsukiko to show you, but I still have to scan and colour it...

[Hardcore]

I used the automatic dice roller and got:
Windstriker + Zz'Dtri

True love:smallyuk:

Someone complained a over a writers block. Well that wasn't me. I will let this one be blocked forever. (There kids here too you know)

[Zanaril]

I used the automatic dice roller and got:
Windstriker + Zz'Dtri

True love:smallyuk:

Someone complained a over a writers block. Well that wasn't me. I will let this one be blocked forever. (There kids here too you know)

There's so many jokes you could have done about riding mounts.

But nooooo, you have to chicken out of what could otherwise have been one hilariously long double entendre. :smalltongue:

[silversaraph]

One little point of criticism: Since you're writing V, it would be good to brush up on arcane spells. ^^; Fireball has a huge range and seems like not just overkill but potentially suicidal when lighting a fire. Something like Burning Hands, Scorching Ray or best just that Flaming Finger cantrip V scribed in On the Origins of PCs would be better.


Distant inferno! (BLOOM!)

[Meg]

Keep writing. :D I'll soon have a little sketch of Tiasal, Xykon and Tsukiko to show you, but I still have to scan and colour it...

Pffft. Coloring pictures? What's next, paying attention to proportions and shading? *snicker* :smallbiggrin:

[The Dark Fiddler]

I used the automatic dice roller and got:
Windstriker + Zz'Dtri

True love:smallyuk:

Someone complained a over a writers block. Well that wasn't me. I will let this one be blocked forever. (There kids here too you know)

Psssh, I am legally still a kid, and I wrote ArgentxCrystal. :smalltongue:

[Lawyergoblin]

Same here. I can't even come close to these other stories. :smallsigh:
I wrote one and just gave up.

[CoffeeIncluded]

Unfortunately I don't have time to write anything (A CRAPLOAD of work, an award ceremony in a couple of hours, AND a terrible cold) BUT...I do have a potential title that can be put in storage...

Crack Pairings XVI: Where Elven Ear Stroking Is A National Sport

[DarkElfGangsta]

anyone got any suggestions about who I should write about next?
I try to aim for stories that require less brain bleach then others:smallwink:
also It'd be great to get more feedback bout the Julia x Nale:smallsmile:

[Sstoopidtallkid]

For everyone saying they wish they could participate if only they could write, just write anyways. One, this is a thread where genderswapped Mr Scruffy/Pregnant! Julia(Belkar is the father) is a reasonable story. Writing ability is good, but we aren't the Nobel committee. Two, writing skill is only improved through practice. The only reason I post here is because I can see the improvement from one story to another. You'll get better.

In other words, gimme moar crackfic!:smallwink:

[Zanaril]

For everyone saying they wish they could participate if only they could write, just write anyways. One, this is a thread where genderswapped Mr Scruffy/Pregnant! Julia(Belkar is the father) is a reasonable story. Writing ability is good, but we aren't the Nobel committee. Two, writing skill is only improved through practice. The only reason I post here is because I can see the improvement from one story to another. You'll get better.

In other words, gimme moar crackfic!:smallwink:
This.

Not to mention we're pretty friendly here; we're unlikely to call you out on anything unless you want us to, and even then we'll try to be helpful. :smallsmile:

[Lawyergoblin]

For everyone saying they wish they could participate if only they could write, just write anyways. One, this is a thread where genderswapped Mr Scruffy/Pregnant! Julia(Belkar is the father) is a reasonable story. Writing ability is good, but we aren't the Nobel committee. Two, writing skill is only improved through practice. The only reason I post here is because I can see the improvement from one story to another. You'll get better.

In other words, gimme moar crackfic!:smallwink:

Okay, I'm taking your advise.:smallsigh: Expect a story soon.

[The Dark Fiddler]

This.

Not to mention we're pretty friendly here; we're unlikely to call you out on anything unless you want us to, and even then we'll try to be helpful. :smallsmile:

Fiddler Corollary: If you write something bordering My Immortal levels of fail, we will treat you like the failure you are. :smallwink:

[Zanaril]

Fiddler Corollary: If you write something bordering My Immortal levels of fail, we will treat you like the failure you are. :smallwink:

Unless it's done as a parody?

[The Dark Fiddler]

Unless it's done as a parody?

I don't think it's humanly possible to do it intentionally, but of course parodies get an exception.

[RickDaily12]

Distant inferno! (BLOOM!)

I laughed SO hard at that.:smallbiggrin:

I always feel weird whenever I look over this thread... I guess the name of it FINALLY makes sense to me. The pairings you guys go out of your way to come up with are just too funny to avoid laughing at.

I think my favorite one so far is the one with Blackwing and V Liz.:smalltongue:

Just try not to go TOO much into detail with them... for... obvious reasons...:smalleek:

[Meg]

Just try not to go TOO much into detail with them... for... obvious reasons...:smalleek:

Yessir. *salutes*

Which reminds me, remember to update the link in your banner if you haven't already done so.

[Zanaril]

Just try not to go TOO much into detail with them... for... obvious reasons...:smalleek:
Yeah, it's such a pity about the forum rules...

[Taekwondodo]

What's this My Immortal you mention? (seriously I've never heard of it) A really bad fanfic?

On another note any (constructive) criticism from anyone about my story? I'd like to know how I could make it better, and my writing in general.

[Zanaril]

What's this My Immortal you mention? (seriously I've never heard of it) A really bad fanfic?

Here's the TV tropes article. (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/FanFic/MyImmortal) :smallyuk:

[DarkElfGangsta]

Here's the TV tropes article. (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/FanFic/MyImmortal) :smallyuk:

I think my brain just commited sepp:smallsigh:oku

[BatRobin]

Horace Greenhilt x Miko.

I'll get to it.

[Taekwondodo]

Here's the TV tropes article. (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/FanFic/MyImmortal) :smallyuk:

*Has a look*

Ooooooooookaaaaaay...

The dramatic readings are really funny though.

[Closak]

Excuse me for being gone for a while, i have been..."Busy" with the ABD.

...*Dives for cover* It's those dragonslayers again!

[Zanaril]

Excuse me for being gone for a while, i have been..."Busy" with the ABD.

You mean the ABD has been busy with you.

Did she have you babysitting?

[Closak]

Not quite *Casts Meteor Swarm on a dragonslayer* Leave me alone you hear!
If you don't stop chasing me i may have to send Spike after you, and you don't want that do you?


Have it your way *Calls Spike and tells him to get rid of the Dragonslayers*

Spike: :smallfurious:
Dragonslayers: :eek:


*Goes back to the ABD and does what dragons do*

[Meg]

Not quite *Casts Meteor Swarm on a dragonslayer* Leave me alone you hear!
If you don't stop chasing me i may have to send Spike after you, and you don't want that do you?


Have it your way *Calls Spike and tells him to get rid of the Dragonslayers*

Spike: :smallfurious:
Dragonslayers: :eek:

*Gently leads Closak to a nice, quiet side area* Sit down, keep your head between your knees, and call if you need something.

Brain bleach overdoses. A real tragedy. :smallsigh:

[Closak]

Keep my head between my knees how exactly? I'm a frikkin dragon!

...Is that chocolate i see there...YES IT IS! *Sprint attacks chocolate*
Mmmm...Chocolate

*Get's dragged away by the ABD*
I WANT MY CHOCOLATE!

[Zanaril]

*Gently leads Closak to a nice, quiet side area* Sit down, keep your head between your knees, and call if you need something.

I'm still waiting for someone to write an explicit Closak x ABD fic along the lines of the other ABD fics. And to PM it to him several times.

Why are you looking at me like that?

[Meg]

I'm still waiting for someone to write an explicit Closak x ABD fic along the lines of the other ABD fics. And to PM it to him several times.

Why are you looking at me like that?

Don't mind the kitchen knife. It's uh... for a school project. Not in case any of you snap further and attack me or anything. Honest. *whistles innocently*

[Aaron]

I'm still waiting for someone to write an explicit Closak x ABD fic along the lines of the other ABD fics. And to PM it to him several times.

Why are you looking at me like that?

I don't know...:smallconfused: I might be using true seeing...:smalltongue:

Also, pay no attention to the Boy Scout pocketknife.:smallwink:

[Closak]

...Dude :smalleek: *Stares at what's left of the dragonslayers*


And i wouldn't mind some ABD related action.

[Meg]

And i wouldn't mind some ABD related action.

You should be sitting down, not up running around. :smallannoyed: You'll never get the brain bleach out of your system if you don't stop moving around. :smallyuk:

[Closak]

Actually, i haven't used any bleach for weeks.

So i don't think that's the problem...

[Meg]

Or you may just be crazy. :smalltongue: In which case, proceed. :smallsmile:

[Closak]

Gladly

*Walks into the ABD's cave* Sweetie, i'm home! :smallbiggrin:

[Zanaril]

The smaller dragon squirmed against the shackles that bound him, blood seeping from where the cold metal had worn his scales off after so long straining against them. His eyes were wide and blank, and specks of acid dripped from his mouth as his breath rasped. A claw touched his neck and he froze.

"Did you really think you could leave me like that?" a voice purred, resonating deeply around the cavern. The owner of the voice drew the claw gently across the delicate scales on his neck, even the light touch scoring a visible line. Closak whimpered, twisting against the chains to try to escape her touch. She simply laughed and pinned him down with one muscled back foot, the razor claws digging deeply into his flesh, the pain flaring red hot and pooling in his belly like liquid gold. "My late husband would never have tried that, but then again he would never have been left mewling like a hatchling after mere hours."

The claw dug deeper, and blood swelled up through the wound, dark against the black scales. She lowered her head and lapped it up gleefully, her rough tongue drawing a trail of acid down his neck, across his chest and dgccccxdgf11111 *sound of someone being dragged away from their keyboard*

[Closak]

Mewling like a hatchling? :smallconfused:
What are talking about?
I had business to take care of an- *Get's interrupted*

[Kaytara]

Something about including forum members in our crack pairings pushes the creepy to a whole new level.

[Zanaril]

Something about including forum members in our crack pairings pushes the creepy to a whole new level.

Admittedly I haven't shipped anyone who didn't ship themselves first.

[DarkElfGangsta]

walks in, looks around.
*whimper*
casts epic level expeditious retreat

[ClericOfBelker]

I'm still waiting for someone to write an explicit Closak x ABD fic along the lines of the other ABD fics. And to PM it to him several times.

Check! :smallbiggrin:


Something about including forum members in our crack pairings pushes the creepy to a whole new level.

I wouldn't mind if someone shipped me with someone. *Thought bubble of Sabrine*


...*Dives for cover* It's those dragonslayers again!

HAY! *Glares at Dragonslayers (who are looking quite guilty)* MASS POLYMORPH! *Dragonslayers turn into hot (to Closak) Black Dragons* *Casts Calm Beast on Spike*

[Meg]

Y'know, for kicks I rolled once on the main table to see who I should ship myself with. I got Belkar, naturally. And now that's I've actually posted this, I'm in for a world of hurt, aren't I?

[ClericOfBelker]

Y'know, for kicks I rolled once on the main table to see who I should ship myself with. I got Belkar, naturally. And now that's I've actually posted this, I'm in for a world of hurt, aren't I?

Yep! :smallbiggrin:

"HOLY CRAP!" Shouted CheeseMuncher as a hand shot out of her computer screen and poured a pink bottle down her throat!
"Hay baby," Said a voice "you feeling kinky tonight?"
"Of course n-" Shouted Cheesemuncher before seeing Belkar "Oh yes!"
"Good! Because I definitly am!" Belkar said and jumped opon Cheesemuncher

[CoffeeIncluded]

Oh God.

Crack Parings: We've Finally Stooped To Shipping Ourselves

[Meg]

Oh God.

Crack Parings: We've Finally Stooped To Shipping Ourselves

That's not something I'd advertise. :smallannoyed: Or, like much of the rest of the thread, take seriously.

[CoffeeIncluded]

Come on! It was a joke!

Sorry if I'm in a sour mood, I've got a splitting headache, an unholy amount of homework due tomorrow, I spent all day yesterday sick in bed, and today I had to deal with a complete bitch at the animal shelter.

As it is, the CP generator just rolled up: (Inkyrius/Inkyrius)+(Vaarsuvius/Vaarsuvius)

...

I have an idea for this, but I dunno if it would be appropriate for the board. It involves:

Kyrie's birthday (Elven equivalent of 15-ish here)
A copy of Playelf
A wand of Major Image
Elves and their "sensitive" ears

...I think you see where I'm getting at here. However, would it be appropriate to post this?

[BatRobin]

Oh God.

Crack Parings: We've Finally Stooped To Shipping Ourselves

Thread 6 anyone?

[Thor Person Guy]

Damn you, Homework Zombies! You made me miss the party! :smallfrown:



Wait, now I'm confused. Which came first, the chicken crack or the page? :smallconfused:

The page, but if you checked this thread before noticing and reading the new comic it might have appeared otherwise. People were pretty quick on the uptake.

Hm. Normally I hate being behind the curve, but this actually made the comic more enjoyable for me. Weird.


“We can’t keep this up in this weather.”

Vaarsuvius simply stopped walking, trying to hide the violent shivers running up and down the small elven body. The snow was rapidly gathering on the street, and they had almost slipped and fallen on the ice several times. The white fluff from the sky already had gotten to the point where it nearly reached the travelers’ knees, and it showed no sign of stopping. “Where do you suggest we settle, then?”

“One of the houses. At least they will keep the snow out over the night.”

Vaarsuvius didn’t protest. Redcloak noted with worry that the tips of the elf’s fingers had taken a bluish color, but he didn’t comment. His cheek still stung where Vaarsuvius had struck it, and he doubted that the elf would react any better to his concern just then.

They both trekked to one of the closer homes, having to struggle a little to get the door open and walk inside.

Redcloak forced the door closed, glancing around the hut. The first thing he noticed was that there was one bed for two with a thick blanket. (Well, he was fine with that—it’s not like they hadn’t slept together before.) There was a pile of wood under a window and a hole in the ceiling, probably meant for smoke from fires, was designed with a little elevated cap on it to protect from snow.

That was odd. Deserts weren’t supposed to get snow, so why would the homes be built to handle it?

“Did you prepare any fire spells today?” Redcloak asked, going over to the pile of wood and setting logs up in the middle of the dirt floor.

“Of course.”

Redcloak backed away and Vaarsuvius sent a fireball at the wood, immediately starting the flame. The goblin reflexively jumped a little away from the fire, quickly making sure that it wouldn’t catch on the house. “Don’t get too close right now. You don’t want to warm up too fast.”

The elf didn’t comment when the goblin took delicate hands between his own, slowly warming them to avoid tissue damage. The fire cracked gently but did little to heat up the room. The warmth kept flowing out the windows.

The silence made Redcloak very uncomfortable, but he still wasn’t quite ready to reach out again. He and Vaarsuvius had become dangerously intimate in the last few days, and the elf was right to try to push him away. They wouldn’t be able to fight each other if this kept up.

“We’ll be okay. I promise.”

He had been so stupid to say that, but he couldn’t bring himself to regret it. It was, quite frankly, a promise he couldn’t keep. They wouldn’t be okay. One or both of them was going to come out of this whole thing dead or worse.

Vaarsuvius was doing the smart thing by trying to drive a wedge between them. It hurt, and he worried about both of their abilities to cope with the monstrous dungeon if they didn’t allow each other close, but he knew that Vaarsuvius was right.

He slipped his hands away from the elf’s. “It should be okay to be close to the fire, now.”

They both silently sat near the fire, the uncomfortable silence stretching.

Vaarsuvius suddenly stiffened, ears twitching. Redcloak glanced at his lover in confusion. “Vaarsuvius?”

“…I seem to have detected some strange sounds outside.”

The goblin stood up immediately, walking to the window and glancing out at the wintry landscape.

He tensed, stifling a growl in his throat and doing his best to hide any signs of distress.

“Redcloak?”

That was when he realized that he couldn’t hide anything from Vaarsuvius.

Blood spatters stained the white ground. That alone wouldn’t bother him—it was a cheap visual trick. What bothered him was the fact that four people were sitting in the snow, one of them holding his own decapitated head in his hands. He knew those people.

They were the soldiers he had gotten a brief glance of when he first found Vaarsuvius in the throws of a vision.

A sharp intake of air next to him alerted him to the fact that his lover had stood up and looked out the window to see what was wrong.

Redcloak spun around and stepped so that his body covered the window, taking Vaarsuvius’s arm gently. “Go back to the fire. We should have something to eat.”

“I… they…”

“Vaarsuvius, it’s just an illusion. It can’t hurt you if you don’t let it.” He gently yet firmly tugged the elf to the fire again. “Sit down—we should have some food in our packs.”

The elf paused, then numbly nodded, passively allowing the goblin to lead the way back to the fire.

Redcloak did his best to not wonder about the significance of the soldiers. He had just resolved a mere moment before to push Vaarsuvius away, and he knew well enough how private the elf was. It was a small miracle that his lover had been able to mention the trauma of finding someone hanging themselves, even after all they had been through. After everything that they both had suffered, the last thing he wanted was to make Vaarsuvius feel more afraid and insecure about him.

He opened up their packs and pulled out an apple, giving it to the elf. “There isn’t much to eat left, but I think I can make something a little more substantial. I’ll cover up the windows first—all the warm air is leaking out.”

Vaarsuvius nodded in thanks, understanding the favor the goblin was doing, eyes fixed on something in the fire that Redcloak could not see, and bit into the apple. The goblin stood up, pulling their blankets from their packs and using them to cover the windows. It wasn’t like they would need them that night. The bed they had stumbled on had a perfectly suitable one.

Redcloak used what little they had to cook for both of them. He had to coax Vaarsuvius to finish it off, noting with worry that his lover looked even more ashen than usual. The fact that the elf was sick niggled at him, and he had the sense that he would know what was wrong if he only looked closer at the symptoms. Dizzy spells, abdomable pain, unusual sensitivity in the breasts (he had noticed that easily)…

“Redcloak, what happens if they attack us?”

He was pulled out of his train of thought and looked at the elf curiously.

“Of course we both have spells, but they are creatures made from the very world around us. We cannot run through the snow and hope to escape, and if we vanquish them, more will come.”

“I don’t think they’re there to attack us.” Redcloak pushed his empty plate to the side, leaning forward a little and adding some wood to the fire. “They’re there to make us afraid. That’s what this place depends on. Fear, pain, and desire. Admittedly, it seems to be focusing mostly on pain and fear for us, but there’s probably a reason for that.”

The elf nodded silently, staring at the flames.

“Vaarsuvius, why are they haunting you?”

Redcloak knew that he shouldn’t ask. Vaarsuvius knew it too.

The elf looked up at him, expression difficult to read.

“I know that they’re what you have nightmares about. I know that their… I don’t know, presence has been following us since the start. I know that they mean something.” He tentatively reached out, brushing a strand of hair back from Vaarsuvius’s face and behind a pointy ear. “Why?”

There was a long silence.

“Redcloak, I do not wish to speak of this.”

He shouldn’t push his luck. He really shouldn’t.

The goblin lightly stroked the elf’s cheek, frowning. “Vaarsuvius, this has been plaguing you since before we met.” He hesitated briefly. “I don’t like seeing you tormented like this.”

Vaarsuvius shook a small head. “There is nothing you can do to help, Redcloak.”

“How do I know unless you tell me?”

The elf was very, very quiet for a while. Redcloak wondered for a moment if he had offended his lover, but if he had, he would have been slapped for his troubles. “During the battle…” Vaarsuvius paused, closing violet eyes and taking a deep breath. Redcloak had to stifle a small jerk of surprise—he hadn’t expected his lover to open up. Then again, maybe that was what was needed. “During the battle at Azure City, I ran out of spells. I did not see anything else I could do to assist. I fled.” The elf undid the purple ponytail slowly, letting the long wild hair hang loosely. Redcloak listened carefully, fully aware of the likelihood that he was the only one that Vaarsuvius had trusted with this information. “I was invisible. A group of soldiers crashed into me and correctly assumed that I was the elven wizard that had been assisting in the battle.”

The elf stopped dead, lips pursed until they were white. Redcloak tentatively touched Vaarsuvius’s hand, doubtful that the contact would be appreciated. Vaarsuvius grasped the offered hand tightly.

“They begged me to save them. I could not. They were slaughtered.”

Vaarsuvius was completely silent for a moment, face grim, muscles stiff. Redcloak wasn’t quite sure how to deal with it, so he settled with squeezing the small hand in his gasp and nuzzling the slender neck gently.

“For all my power, I could not save them.”

Redcloak politely pretended to not notice the suspicious glassiness in the elf’s eyes. Vaarsuvius shook a pale head, regaining the aloof and unconcerned mask that had been cracking more and more since they entered the dungeon.

“But, of course, logically, I did what I should have. I can only take the experience as a lesson. I will not make such mistakes again. It is rather pointless that you insisted on me talking about it at all—it is in the past.”

The goblin didn’t point out the tremors going up and down the elf’s body. He didn’t point out the barely contained wetness in violet eyes. He didn’t point out how fragile the tiny creature suddenly seemed, how it looked like, with all the demons the dungeon had forced upon the fiery mage, the seams were coming undone.

He simply slipped his arm around the elf’s waist, murmuring something softly in Goblin and nuzzling a slender neck.

Vaarsuvius leaned into his touches, satisfied with not having to show how deeply the deaths of the soldiers had imprinted themselves on the elf. Their fingers stayed intertwined. They leaned towards each other, touching lips tenderly before resting their foreheads against one another.

“No matter how many reasons are presented to us, we continue to nurse our relationship. Why is that, Redcloak?” Vaarsuvius murmured softly, voice weighed down by despair and pain that the mage would never admit to. It felt like something heavy was just taken off the thin shoulders, but all that was left was a very tired elf.

“We work out well together.” A slightly subdued smile flickered over Redcloak’s lips. “If it hadn’t been for the alignment and species differences, I think we could have been really happy with each other.”

“I believe so as well.” Vaarsuvius lightly fingered Redcloak’s cheek. “I would have been willing to work past both obstacles under different circumstances.”

“Under different circumstances.” Redcloak smiled, eyes dim. “But it’s pointless to speculate about different circumstances. These are the ones we have.”

“Indeed they are.”

They looked at the fire, leaning against each other, the goblin subtly trying to think of a way to ease his partner’s distress and the nightmares that would obviously descend that night. Redcloak reached up absently, running his fingers through the elf’s loose hair. His nails lightly brushed against pointy ears, sending tangible tremors through his lover’s body.

Vaarsuvius let out a low warble, turning a small head to kiss Redcloak softly. The goblin easily moved so that they were in a more comfortable position and started stroking the ears firmly.

The elf let out a soft gasp, crawling closer to the goblin, tilting a pale head and exposing a slender neck, showing off the trust they had unwisely built between each other. Redcloak’s teeth were sharp and strong enough to rip the elf’s exposed throat open before so much as a scream could be uttered.

With a satisfied growl deep in his chest, Redcloak leaned forward, nuzzling and kissing his lover’s neck while continuing to massage the pointed ears. Vaarsuvius let out another warble, pawing at their clothes.

Redcloak had no intention of taking anything off. Vaarsuvius wasn’t in the right state of mind to consent, and the goblin would feel too much like he was taking advantage of his lover, regardless of what the elf did or didn’t want. He made no movement to encourage Vaarsuvius, instead continuing to kiss a slender neck and stroke the pointed ears. His lover’s face flushed and the tiny body started to tremble, delicate arms slipping around the goblin’s neck. “Redcloak…”

The goblin kissed the elf gently, letting out a gentle purr, and continued his ministrations. Vaarsuvius breathed heavily, body heating up, odd sounds that the mage would normally never utter falling from slightly swollen lips.

It was only a small while of ear stroking until the elf stiffened against the goblin, letting out a soft cry before burying a flushed face in a green neck, gasping a long stream of breathless Elven, and going limp after a moment of intensity.

Vaarsuvius breathed heavily, chest heaving, and violet eyes were glazed over with afterglow. Redcloak gently picked his lover up, carrying the tiny and compliant body to the bed, wrapping the little elf in the covers.

The mage shifted, looking up at the goblin, unable to muster up the strength to be peeved when the elf realized what the cleric’s intentions had been. “Manipulative beast.”

“I didn’t want you to have any nightmares. I just made sure that your brain let out all the chemicals it needed to be happy for now.” Redcloak smiled amusedly, unclasping his cloak. “And at least one of us needs our strength in case we’re attacked in the middle of the night, so I figured that we should hold off on using up energy with sex.”

He pulled off his armor, carefully putting it next to the bed and climbing under the covers, wrapping his arms around his lover’s waist and pressing up against a small back. Redcloak lovingly brushed his lips against the elf’s temple, provoking a satisfied ‘mmm.’

“Next time you attempt a trick like this, I shall be forced to use my not-inconsiderable arcane might against you.”

“I’m sure you will be.” Redcloak rested his head on a pillow, smiling and lightly stroking his lover’s abdomen. He murmured a few words softly in Goblin, nuzzling the elf’s hair and sighing in contentment. “I love you.”

“What does that mean, Redcloak? You know that I do not understand Goblin.”

Redcloak kissed Vaarsuvius’s neck gently. “It was an affectionate way of saying goodnight.”

“Oh.” Vaarsuvius lightly fingered the goblin’s hand. “Good night, Redcloak.” A smile flickered over the elf’s lips. “I would use a more affectionate term, but Common does not provide one and Elven has no words that would fit.”

“That’s alright.” The goblin smiled wistfully, tightening his grip only a little. “Good night.”

Vaarsuvius smiled faintly and slipped into a satisfied trance, still bathing in afterglow. Redcloak fell asleep soon afterwards.

D'awww...

It's good to see V talking about what's troubling her. Now if only she would tell him what's troubling her physically...

[Meg]

Sorry if I'm in a sour mood, I've got a splitting headache, an unholy amount of homework due tomorrow, I spent all day yesterday sick in bed, and today I had to deal with a complete bitch at the animal shelter.

*hug* Same here. We'll be "Supposed-To-Be-Working-On-Homework" twins.

And isn't dealing with bitches part of working on an animal shelter? :smallconfused: I'm sorry, but the pun had to be made.

[CoffeeIncluded]

I meant as in the person. She went on an angry rant about how all the puppies got adopted by the time she arrived. Okay, I tolerated that because she drove for a while to get to the shelter.

But then she went on her cellphone and complained about it, IN FRONT OF ME, and her rant included stuff like "They don't care about the animals, they just want the money," because a $250 adoption fee is too much for saving a puppy's life?!

[Sstoopidtallkid]

Come on! It was a joke!

Sorry if I'm in a sour mood, I've got a splitting headache, an unholy amount of homework due tomorrow, I spent all day yesterday sick in bed, and today I had to deal with a complete bitch at the animal shelter.

As it is, the CP generator just rolled up: (Inkyrius/Inkyrius)+(Vaarsuvius/Vaarsuvius)

...

I have an idea for this, but I dunno if it would be appropriate for the board. It involves:

Kyrie's birthday (Elven equivalent of 15-ish here)
A copy of Playelf
A wand of Major Image
Elves and their "sensitive" ears

...I think you see where I'm getting at here. However, would it be appropriate to post this?Possibly. However, for the FF.net community, probably not.

And given your previous work and the pairing, I definitely want to see it.

[BatRobin]

Kyrie's birthday (Elven equivalent of 15-ish here)

Like, and Elf-cenyeta? (I know I spelled the parody of Quinceeta or whatever wrong)

[CoffeeIncluded]

Uhm, okay. If this seems like it's too much, just tell me and I'll delete it. In any case, this has to be short because I have to write 20 pages of notes for tomorrow.

(Inkyrius/Inkyrius)+(Vaarsuvius/Vaarsuvius)


Inkyrius took another swig of beer, swaying unsteadily as he did so. Vaarsuvius grinned at hir lover. "Your turn," V said. The elf was often brief and to the point when drunk.

"Okay...My most embarrassing moment." Kyrie rubbed hir chin thoughtfully. "Well..."

Decades ago

"Happy birthday, Kyrie!" A package was handed over to the green-haired elf.

"Oh boy, what is this?" Kyrie eagerly ripped it open. "...What is this?" the elf asked, holding a rod of some sort in hir hand.

"It's a wand of Major Image. I know that you have always had an affection for illusion spells, so I made this for you..."

"Aww, thanks!"

Later that night an insidious thought ran through Kyrie's head, growing stronger by the moment. The elf could no longer restrain hirself. Kyrie closed hir bedroom door and furtively took out the wand of Major Image and a copy of Playelf stashed under hir mattress (Because isn't that where it's always kept?) "Major Image," Kyrie whispered.

A large image of Vaarsuvius appeared in front of Kyrie. The image of the purple-haired elf winked seductively, then began to strip. Kyrie grinned in delight as the image of Vaarsuvius danced in front of hir. The elf then began to concentrate again. The Vaarsuvius image whispered in Kyrie's ear as a second, equally naked one popped into existence.

"Oh Kyrie. You're too much for one elf, so let me introduce you to my identical naked twin, Vaarsuvius Two!"

An olive-haired elf walked into Kyrie's room. "Kyrie, you okay? I heard you shouting and--GAH!!!"

Kyrie bolted upright and the images popped out of existence as the olive-haired elf shouted. However, for a few moments, the sight of two naked Vaarsuviuses next to Kyrie, madly stroking hir own ears, was clearly visible.

Back to the drinking game

"Yeah...The next morning was awkward, to say the least," Kyrie mumbled.

Vaarsuvius stared into hir own mug of beer for a moment. "...Compared to that, my near-ruination of time and causality due to a misworded spell seems almost trivial."

...Uh, thoughts?

[Dark_Stryke]

Well, it's been two pages and no response, so I'm guessing I was just ignored. :smallfrown:

I'll ask my question once more:

Has anyone done a Roy/Miko afterlife fic, and if they have, do they mind if I take a crack at it? (no pun intended).

[Mystic Muse]

I'll start trying out crackfics soon. I need more experience writing if I EVER want my real fiction story* to be good at all. Please critique me on Grammar and description. I Feel like I don't do well on Grammar and I KNOW I do bad on descriptions.



*Real as in I'm trying to make an actual book and not just one for fun.

[The Dark Fiddler]

Well, it's been two pages and no response, so I'm guessing I was just ignored. :smallfrown:

I'll ask my question once more:

Has anyone done a Roy/Miko afterlife fic, and if they have, do they mind if I take a crack at it? (no pun intended).

Check for yourself. We're a lazy bunch. :smalltongue:

[DarkElfGangsta]

...and today I had to deal with a complete bitch at the animal shelter.



I laughed so hard at this you have no idea. greatest pun:smallbiggrin:

[CoffeeIncluded]

Heh, thanks.

Look, even if we did, we're okay with having multiple crack pairings with the same characters!

So uhm, what do you guys think of my newest crack pairing?

[DarkElfGangsta]

Heh, thanks.

Look, even if we did, we're okay with having multiple crack pairings with the same characters!

So uhm, what do you guys think of my newest crack pairing?

I enjoyed it!
just a little complicated for me, but I'm not a complicated guy.
I'd be honored if some of the older member of the thread could have a look at my crack pairing? the Julia x Nale?
"You Damn Brat!"
Nale, barely able to contro his anger, stomped towards the smirking, dark-skinned teenager. She was tied to a chair, with her hands behind her back.
She was there for three days now, each other's sole company.
Sabine was over in the demonic realms, searching for powrful demonic allies who would join their cause.
Nale didn't want to think about how exactly she would persuade them.
Thog was patrolling the city streets, looking for the occasional victim that could be lured to their apartment near the city square. Nale was stuck at the warehouse, guarding Julia. He felt angry, and frustrated, and bored to tears,
so he removed her gag in order to chase the boredom away by taunting her.
He didn't think he was going to be the one to lose his temper first.
She kept smirking even as he drew his sword and let the point rest against her throat.
"I warn you, little girl: disrespect me once more and I'll kill you without a second thought! keep. your. mouth. shut."
He looked into her eyes then, wily, chocolate-brown, and deep. they twinkled with mischief. he knew that she was looking into his eyes as well, and was enraged to see that what she saw there made her smirk grow wider.
still he did nothing to follow up on his threat.
he was lost, in her eyes, those warm and stinging eyes, locked with his own blue and cold ones. he lowered his sword. a sense of peace washed over him.
She got up from his chair, and somehow he did not find this very alarming.
he opened his mouth to protest -
she reached forward then, and her lips locked on his.
Nale's mind went blank - his lover was a sex demon, but still nothing Sabine could do ever came close to this feeling.
he felt hot, as if the was burning iron under his skin. his face prickled, her hair stinging his face as they leaned deeper into each other's embrace.
she put a hand through his hair, massaging his neck.
Nale wished this moment could go on forever: just him and this dark-skinned angel, locked in this white-hot moment for all eterni-
BAM
"Thog can be brown, thog can be blue, thog can be violet sky, Thog can be hurtful, thog can be purple, thog can be anything you'd likeee... Nale, not-nale is in city!.
Nale pushed Julia away, gagged her, and tied her in the chair before Thog could round the crates hiding him from the door. He was shaking. he looked down at Julia, saw the affront and hurt in her eyes, and cursed the universe for making him who he is, for putting him in this position, for forcing him to break the first time in his life that he felt complete and happy.

[CoffeeIncluded]

The gist of it is that Kyrie and V are playing a drinking game where they recount their most embarrassing moments, and that was Kyrie's.

[Meg]

So uhm, what do you guys think of my newest crack pairing?

Ah, the joys of being 15 and not having a lock for your door.

I liked it. :smallbiggrin:

[Lawyergoblin]

:smalleek:I have been gone far to long.

Keep my head between my knees how exactly? I'm a frikkin dragon!

...Is that chocolate i see there...YES IT IS! *Sprint attacks chocolate*
Mmmm...Chocolate

*Get's dragged away by the ABD*
I WANT MY CHOCOLATE!
What is it with you and "interacting" with other creatures on the forum!:smallmad: I know its fine to go over the top, but that much?:smallconfused:

[CoffeeIncluded]

Ah, the joys of being 15 and not having a lock for your door.

I liked it. :smallbiggrin:

My parents refuse to let me get a lock on my door. :smallfrown: Not for that, but because my brother keeps running into my room and throwing all my books on the floor and stuff while I'm studying.

[Lawyergoblin]

Water-Smurf, excellent as always. I'll read Gangsta and Taek later, I promise.

Ugh, this is making me want to try my hand at a pairing. I've got a Roy/Miko story tugging at the corners of my mind, specifically a "what if?" story where they meet in the afterlife during the time Roy was dead. Which I guess is pretty tame as far as crack fic goes.

Has anyone done that yet?

Sounds good to me!:smallamused:

[The Dark Fiddler]

My parents refuse to let me get a lock on my door. :smallfrown: Not for that, but because my brother keeps running into my room and throwing all my books on the floor and stuff while I'm studying.

We needed to get rid of the entire DOORKNOB to my room because my brother kept locking himself in there when he got pissed.

[Meg]

We needed to get rid of the entire DOORKNOB to my room because my brother kept locking himself in there when he got pissed.

My parents once took away my entire door. For like, a year. Funny thing is that I can't remember what I did to provoke them. Must've been pretty bad, though.

[DarkElfGangsta]

V + lockless, doorknobless door

GO GO GO

[CoffeeIncluded]

My parents once took away my entire door. For like, a year. Funny thing is that I can't remember what I did to provoke them. Must've been pretty bad, though.

...Yipes. Soooo glad my parents would never do that.

[Lycan 01]

I had hoped to have my story finished by the time the new thread was up but my plot bunny has grown tentacles and taken to attacking ships (plot kraken?).


Plot Kraken? I vote we start using this term for uber plot bunnies. It just... fits... this thread. :smalltongue:




Something about including forum members in our crack pairings pushes the creepy to a whole new level.

Agreed. :smalleek:



Guess what guys? My parents got internet at their house, so I'll be able to keep track of this thread when I go home on weekends now! :smallbiggrin:


Sorry, nothing new to report from me... :smallannoyed: I've got 2 crack fics to work on, several serious fan fics I've got plot bunnies/plot krakens for, a submission for my school's literary magazine I really need to write, and Finals this/next week.

Sigh...

[Crilly]

"Oh Kyrie. You're too much for one elf, so let me introduce you to my identical naked twin, Vaarsuvius Two!"


Did you just make a Neil Gaiman reference?

[CoffeeIncluded]

Did you just make a Neil Gaiman reference?

Yes I did! :smallbiggrin:

[DarkElfGangsta]

Yes I did! :smallbiggrin:

:smallbiggrin:I just finished reading Anansi brothers. as in right this second.
Neil Gaiman + Terry Pratchett = super saiyans of modern literature.

[CoffeeIncluded]

Ever read Good Omens?

[DarkElfGangsta]

Ever read Good Omens?

ni. I am gonna buy it on my trip to canada next week. any other good books out there i should get? also what stores can I buy the OOTs books at? i really wanna read SOD

[Crilly]

I can't read books by Terry Pratchett for some reason. The writing's good and the humor is awesome but I just can't get past a few pages without getting bored and reading House of Leaves (another book I will never finish.) Good Omens I can kinda read though.

EDIT: Cracklord should of posted by now. I'm figuring Closak went insane and killed him in a rage. That or Zanaril.

[Dark_Stryke]

Hey Gangsta, good choice on coming to Canada. Whereabouts are you headed? Quebec? The praries? The Maritimes?

Ahem, back on topic. I'm starting my fic now, in this thread. Going completely off the cuff, so let's hope it turns out okay.

I call this story:

"Not for Everyone" Chapter 1: "Elan Would be Proud"

"I need to find a tavern." Roy declared rather suddenly.

"Hmm?" Roy's Archon asked, flitting about in a little figure eight. The little puffball appeared taken aback by the sudden declaration. "Where did that come from?"

Roy shrugged his armored shoulders nonchalantly. "I don't know, I just feel like having a few drinks."

"Well, there's always the Tavern of Infinite One Night Stands..." Roy's Archon ventured.

Roy's face curled into an expression of disgust. "No. There's no way I'm going to the bar looking for some bimbo to bring home and screw in my mom's house. Or have you forgotten where we are?"

"It was just a suggestion..." The Archon declared, its light dimming slightly.
"Yeah, well, maybe suggest something else." Roy replied.

The Archon did a few lazy turns around the small guest room, apparently deep in thought. "Ah, I know of a place!" It declared. "Smilin' Pete's Pub, just a short distance from the Bless-ateria."

Roy nodded. "Sounds good. Lead the way."

***

Several hours (days? weeks?) later, Roy stood at the entrance to Smilin' Pete's, which bore a sign depicting a grinning man who was presumably the owner giving a thumbs-up while holding a pint of ale. He could hear the sounds of laughter and and loud voices beckoning him from the inside, and one particularly loud woman yelling about the quality of the Sake. Having lived in Azure City for the past little while, a tavern patron yelling about Sake didn't strike him as particularly odd. "Well, it certainly sounds authentically tavern-esque. I just hope a barfight doesn't break out."

"We actually try not to encourage such behaviour here. Lively debate is one thing, but punching your fellow spirits is frowned upon." Roy's Archon explained.

"I'll keep it in mind." Roy replied. He glanced at the sun, still beaming peacefully in the sky. "The only problem with this is that it's still midday. How am I supposed to enjoy a few pints if it's not..." He stepped through the door as he spoke, taking in the scene inside the tavern. The room was dimly lit by a fire and a few cleverly placed oil lamps, and the windows clearly displayed a starry night sky. "...Night?" He finished, shocked. "Well I'll be. They think of everything here."

"We do our best." Roy's Archon agreed. "And look over there, why, it's an empty table in a corner! Your favorite spot!"

Shaking his head at the continued marvels of the celestial realm, Roy walked over to the empty table, passing patrons who smiled and nodded at him as he went. It felt good to be among fellow Lawful-Goods, not having to worry if the bartender would try to cheat him or if the guy he was playing cards with was trying to cut his coin purse (Which was why he usually brought Haley. She was smart enough not to cut his purse, and he knew she was cheating, and so could just fold during any hand where she started betting big). Lost in thought, he settled into his table and let the tavern atmosphere wash over him. He took in the other patrons, noting a rather large number of dwarves, which didn't surprise him now that he thought about it. There was a black haired woman still arguing with the bartender, who seemed to be doing his level best to calm her.

"This Sake is an affront to the Gods! You should be cast out of this realm for such a mockery!" She declared vehemently, thumping an armored fist on the bar, which set off a chain reaction of clanks and jingles as the mail and plate she was wrapped in knocked about.

"M-ma'am, please, this Sake is as close to being made by the Gods themselves as possible! It cannot taste wrong." The barkeep pleaded.

"Then this must be a bad batch! Bring me another from a different barrel!"

The barkeep blinked quizzically. "It... it comes in bottles, ma'am."

"From a different bottle, then!"

"A-at once, ma'am."

Roy rolled his eyes. Even in the Celestial Realm it seemed there were troublesome barflies. He quicly resumed a neutral expression as the barkeep made his way to his table.

"Hey there, newcomer. I'm Smilin' Pete, owner of Smilin' Pete's. Been in the Celestial Tavern business for a hundred n' twenty-seven years, and there's not much I don't know about alcohol. So what'll it be?" The bartender asked with a dramatic bow.

Roy chuckled inspite of himself. "That was quite the introduction. How'd you know I was new?"

"You still got one of the little glowflies following you. They tend to take off once you get yourself settled in. So, here for good or just visiting?"

"Ah, visiting, I hope. I guess it depends how fast my party can get their acts together and ressurrect me." Roy explained.

Pete chuckled. "Ah, one of those adventuring types, are you? Goin' around and getting into all sorts of trouble?"

Roy laughed. "More than you know. Between the goblins and liches and psychotic halflings, I don't know which way is up or down some days. Being dead is almost like a vacation. A very, very surreal vacation, mind you."

"Ain't that the truth. Part of the reason I converted my home to into a tavern. I did it all my life, and it just feels weird not doing it in death. Enlightenment and the upper levels of the mountain can wait a few centuries I say, I'm not done owning a tavern just yet!" Pete thumped on the table for emphasis, grinning like a loon. Roy found himself liking the amicable proprietor. He had a jovial, easy manner, and a real love for his work.

At that moment a mailed fist crashed down on the table between them. "Barkeep!" The angry woman from earlier barked. "I asked for Sake! I did not ask for you to wander over here and talk with-"

Roy looked at her at the same second that she looked at him, and found himself staring into familiar, hate-filled black eyes. "M-Miko?!" He stuttered.

"GREENHILT!" Miko Miyazaki, ex-paladin, bellowed. She quickly drew her katana and levelled it at Roy's chest.

Fighter's instincts took over for Roy. Without conciously doing anything he found himself rolling left and out of the chair, then quickly back, putting it between him and Miko. He sprang to his feet and clumsily picked up the wooden chair, holding it awkwardly in front of himself with both hands, not sure if he should use it as a weapon or as a shield to block her attacks.

"It appears that the Gods have given me one last chance to finish my business with you." Miko growled with a predatory grin.

"Didn't you mention that one of your party members had a saying for times like this?" Roy's Archon asked worriedly, hovering over Roy's shoulder.

"Yeah, it went a little something like this; 'Dun, dun, DUN'."

"That's... not very comforting."

"No, no it is not."

Ah, ending on a cliffhanger. What do you all think? Should I continue?

[Gimliggamer]

I've been so frickin busy that I have barely read any crack in 4 months.

[Sstoopidtallkid]

Hey Gangsta, good choice on coming to Canada. Whereabouts are you headed? Quebec? The praries? The Maritimes?

Ahem, back on topic. I'm starting my fic now, in this thread. Going completely off the cuff, so let's hope it turns out okay.

I call this story:

"Not for Everyone" Chapter 1: "Elan Would be Proud"

"I need to find a tavern." Roy declared rather suddenly.

"Hmm?" Roy's Archon asked, flitting about in a little figure eight. The little puffball appeared taken aback by the sudden declaration. "Where did that come from?"

Roy shrugged his armored shoulders nonchalantly. "I don't know, I just feel like having a few drinks."

"Well, there's always the Tavern of Infinite One Night Stands..." Roy's Archon ventured.

Roy's face curled into an expression of disgust. "No. There's no way I'm going to the bar looking for some bimbo to bring home and screw in my mom's house. Or have you forgotten where we are?"

"It was just a suggestion..." The Archon declared, its light dimming slightly.
"Yeah, well, maybe suggest something else." Roy replied.

The Archon did a few lazy turns around the small guest room, apparently deep in thought. "Ah, I know of a place!" It declared. "Smilin' Pete's Pub, just a short distance from the Bless-ateria."

Roy nodded. "Sounds good. Lead the way."

***

Several hours (days? weeks?) later, Roy stood at the entrance to Smilin' Pete's, which bore a sign depicting a grinning man who was presumably the owner giving a thumbs-up while holding a pint of ale. He could hear the sounds of laughter and and loud voices beckoning him from the inside, and one particularly loud woman yelling about the quality of the Sake. Having lived in Azure City for the past little while, a tavern patron yelling about Sake didn't strike him as particularly odd. "Well, it certainly sounds authentically tavern-esque. I just hope a barfight doesn't break out."

"We actually try not to encourage such behaviour here. Lively debate is one thing, but punching your fellow spirits is frowned upon." Roy's Archon explained.

"I'll keep it in mind." Roy replied. He glanced at the sun, still beaming peacefully in the sky. "The only problem with this is that it's still midday. How am I supposed to enjoy a few pints if it's not..." He stepped through the door as he spoke, taking in the scene inside the tavern. The room was dimly lit by a fire and a few cleverly placed oil lamps, and the windows clearly displayed a starry night sky. "...Night?" He finished, shocked. "Well I'll be. They think of everything here."

"We do our best." Roy's Archon agreed. "And look over there, why, it's an empty table in a corner! Your favorite spot!"

Shaking his head at the continued marvels of the celestial realm, Roy walked over to the empty table, passing patrons who smiled and nodded at him as he went. It felt good to be among fellow Lawful-Goods, not having to worry if the bartender would try to cheat him or if the guy he was playing cards with was trying to cut his coin purse (Which was why he usually brought Haley. She was smart enough not to cut his purse, and he knew she was cheating, and so could just fold during any hand where she started betting big). Lost in thought, he settled into his table and let the tavern atmosphere wash over him. He took in the other patrons, noting a rather large number of dwarves, which didn't surprise him now that he thought about it. There was a black haired woman still arguing with the bartender, who seemed to be doing his level best to calm her.

"This Sake is an affront to the Gods! You should be cast out of this realm for such a mockery!" She declared vehemently, thumping an armored fist on the bar, which set off a chain reaction of clanks and jingles as the mail and plate she was wrapped in knocked about.

"M-ma'am, please, this Sake is as close to being made by the Gods themselves as possible! It cannot taste wrong." The barkeep pleaded.

"Then this must be a bad batch! Bring me another from a different barrel!"

The barkeep blinked quizzically. "It... it comes in bottles, ma'am."

"From a different bottle, then!"

"A-at once, ma'am."

Roy rolled his eyes. Even in the Celestial Realm it seemed there were troublesome barflies. He quicly resumed a neutral expression as the barkeep made his way to his table.

"Hey there, newcomer. I'm Smilin' Pete, owner of Smilin' Pete's. Been in the Celestial Tavern business for a hundred n' twenty-seven years, and there's not much I don't know about alcohol. So what'll it be?" The bartender asked with a dramatic bow.

Roy chuckled inspite of himself. "That was quite the introduction. How'd you know I was new?"

"You still got one of the little glowflies following you. They tend to take off once you get yourself settled in. So, here for good or just visiting?"

"Ah, visiting, I hope. I guess it depends how fast my party can get their acts together and ressurrect me." Roy explained.

Pete chuckled. "Ah, one of those adventuring types, are you? Goin' around and getting into all sorts of trouble?"

Roy laughed. "More than you know. Between the goblins and liches and psychotic halflings, I don't know which way is up or down some days. Being dead is almost like a vacation. A very, very surreal vacation, mind you."

"Ain't that the truth. Part of the reason I converted my home to into a tavern. I did it all my life, and it just feels weird not doing it in death. Enlightenment and the upper levels of the mountain can wait a few centuries I say, I'm not done owning a tavern just yet!" Pete thumped on the table for emphasis, grinning like a loon. Roy found himself liking the amicable proprietor. He had a jovial, easy manner, and a real love for his work.

At that moment a mailed fist crashed down on the table between them. "Barkeep!" The angry woman from earlier barked. "I asked for Sake! I did not ask for you to wander over here and talk with-"

Roy looked at her at the same second that she looked at him, and found himself staring into familiar, hate-filled black eyes. "M-Miko?!" He stuttered.

"GREENHILT!" Miko Miyazaki, ex-paladin, bellowed. She quickly drew her katana and levelled it at Roy's chest.

Fighter's instincts took over for Roy. Without conciously doing anything he found himself rolling left and out of the chair, then quickly back, putting it between him and Miko. He sprang to his feet and clumsily picked up the wooden chair, holding it awkwardly in front of himself with both hands, not sure if he should use it as a weapon or as a shield to block her attacks.

"It appears that the Gods have given me one last chance to finish my business with you." Miko growled with a predatory grin.

"Didn't you mention that one of your party members had a saying for times like this?" Roy's Archon asked worriedly, hovering over Roy's shoulder.

"Yeah, it went a little something like this; 'Dun, dun, DUN'."

"That's... not very comforting."

"No, no it is not."

Ah, ending on a cliffhanger. What do you all think? Should I continue?Not a huge fan of Miko, nor of crossing Roy with anything(he's LG and in a committed relationship), but this may work. You seem to have caught his essence well(the bit about Haley is basically how I think he thinks), and Miko was definitely...Miko. Pretty good start.

[Kyronea]

Not a huge fan of Miko, nor of crossing Roy with anything(he's LG and in a committed relationship), but this may work. You seem to have caught his essence well(the bit about Haley is basically how I think he thinks), and Miko was definitely...Miko. Pretty good start.

You know, that makes me wonder...is it possible to be Lawful Good but also polygamous?

[Sstoopidtallkid]

You know, that makes me wonder...is it possible to be Lawful Good but also polygamous?IMHO, yes, because Polygamy is about spreading your love among many rather than limiting it to one person, but only if your partners agree. I don't think many LG people would be willing to cheat, however, and the act of cheating is definitely not LG(E, probably CE).

I also recommend the BoEF for further thoughts on alignments and sex, it's a very good sourcebook in that regard.

[Dark_Stryke]

A few things:

I'm actually not sure if this story is going to turn romantic. I have a general idea of what I want to happen, but this is more about getting Roy and Miko interacting. I'd still consider it crack if they wound up as friends.

Next, I'm not sure if things done in the afterlife "count". I mean, the Deva assigned to Roy's case knew every aspect of his life, and presumably Roy's Archon does as well. Why would it even point out the Tavern of Infinite One Night stands if it knew Roy was in a commited relationship and would have a moral problem with using it? I doubt they're in the business of tempting people to sin in the Celestial Realm... So I wonder if sexual acts commited there would even count as cheating.

Roy even says his time on the mountain is just a happy blur... but on the other hand he negates it a few comics later by explicitly stating he remembers his mom's 'friend'. So is he lying? Is it a plot hole? Just a one-off joke that I'm way overthinking?

Meh, I'll probably post another chapter tomorrow.

(More reviews would be appreciated. *cough* :smallbiggrin:)

[Aaron]

ni. I am gonna buy it on my trip to canada next week. any other good books out there i should get? also what stores can I buy the OOTs books at? i really wanna read SOD

I've found that some of the places that have OOTS books are: Barrens and Nobel, Border's, Boscos's, ect... Basically most places that carry books (bookstores). They are usually in the comic book section (duh, comic books:smallamused:), or in the adventures section in the stores.

[Saeyan]

Basically most places that carry books (bookstores)

Not so easy outside the US!

[Water-Smurf]

(A complete veering from the current topic ahead.)

Well, I've been doing a lot of literary stuff (my English teachers are really good at ingraining subconscious habits in the minds of their students, apparently). (Spoilered for English nerd-ism.) For example, I've been changing the language and the way Reddy and V are referred to according to whose point of view it is. Reddy started out only referring to V as 'the elf' and as 'it.' It's the sign of his dehumanization of her--when he looks at Vaarsuvius, he sees not her but all elves who have ever hurt him or goblinkind. Then he refers to her as 'Vaarsuvius' and 'it,' giving her an identity outside of her species but still putting her beneath him. Then he stops using gender pronouns/uses 'her' when he has to and calls her his 'partner,' giving recognition for the relationship they have but not quite implying emotions for her (yet the 'person' figure in his mind calls her his lover, implying genuine feelings, while the 'scientist' figure still calls her 'it,' implying his desire to be able to dehumanize her again). After the Vaarsuvius figure in his dream makes him realize his love, he just calls her 'Vaarsuvius' and his 'lover,' implying the acceptance and even the embracing of his feelings.

Vaarsuvius has yet to refer to him as her 'lover,' showing off the fact that, for all her power, age, and intellect, she is the least emotionally ready for love out of both of them. (Which is saying something since Reddy is still technically somewhere between twelve and nineteen.) He is capable of accepting his feelings for her while she stays in deep denial about it, throwing out increasingly weak excuses of 'It's just a fling,' 'He is probably only interested in sex and intellectual companionship,' and 'The only reason I don't kill him now is that I owe him for sparing my life.' She's barely ready for a physical relationship; realizing that she is emotionally vested in Redcloak would be the end of her.

Just an example...

And as for the significant thing, this is spoilered not only for English nerdiness but for actual story spoilers. Sort of.

Vaarsuvius's sense of sex is that it's something that other people take pleasure from, but not her. Her first time was basically rape. Her next few times with Inkyrius were basically what she did when Kyrie was really trying to instigate something. She did it entirely because Inkyrius wanted the intimacy that sex incites, and she felt uncomfortable the whole time. (Her first, ah, 'high point' probably came with Reddy.)

Redcloak has unwittingly turned her perceptions of sex upside-down. Suddenly, she really enjoys it too. She isn't shying away from intimacy anymore. She likes the idea of making love with him, though her fear of love forces her to think of it as only sex. If she doesn't refer to it as 'making love,' she can shrug it off as being the product of her heretofore latent sex-drive suddenly making an appearance and Redcloak and herself just being very compatible sexually. After all, neither of them are in this physical relationship for love. It's for pleasure and lust and only that.

Reddy has shattered her justifications by accident because of the fact that he did something only for her pleasure and peace of mind without asking for any sexual favors in return. He received no physical pleasure from it. She was the only one who benefited. He proved that it's not about lust, at least for him. He also proved that it's possible for sex to be a purely pleasurable, intimate, and loving act without the fear and anxiety she sometimes gets with being entered. It has become something of love and intimacy, not passion and pleasure.

The significance of this hasn't hit her yet, but it will.

Okay, nerdiness done now. Until I write another essay I need to spoiler.



Like the rest very much though! V is hot.

Which part made you say that? :smallamused:



Water-Smurf, since your story has V still being very tormented despite having come back to save O-Chul, I'd be interested in learning more about how V's psychology functions there, what role saving O-Chul DID play and more to the point, how V interpreted that incident. :)

...You have unleashed the psychology/English nerd within me again.

I hope you're happy.

You see, Vaarsuvius was ready, if not to heal, to bury the soldiers’ deaths away until they were just another scar in her psyche. Saving O-Chul eased her conscience a little, but it didn’t do much to restore her self-worth. (She was captured too and needed Redcloak to let her go to be, ahem, negligent for her to save O-Chul and escape.) The nightmares stopped after her entanglement with Reddy, and in a way, he had allowed her to come to a certain amount of understanding with herself over what happened.

Then her pregnancy started firing off hormones and the fragile peace was sent straight to hell.

We’re forgetting here that V and Reddy are both drunk off of their own hormones—V’s got a little person growing in her and Reddy’s got this helluva strong instinct that’s basically hijacked his body. (I figure that goblins would have had to evolve to protect their young and pregnant women with their situations. No food because the gods stuck you with crappy land? Make sure to feed the children and pregnant ladies first—they make the next generation! Some humans are trying to kill your family? Protect your children and pregnant mate to the last breath—you’re more likely to pass along your genes. Circumstances conspire so that goblin men would develop a freakishly powerful instinct to protect their young and their pregnant mates.) He can still think and act reasonably as long as he knows that his mate and unborn child are safe, but as soon as either of them is threatened, he loses control. One of the deeply primordial and somewhat embarrassing things of goblin biology.

But anyway, V’s hormones started going wonky, making her increasingly susceptible to inner torment. That alone wouldn’t have been too bad, but then she found out that she was knocked up, and then to just top it off, her mate divorces her.

Considering her experience with Inky, her current children, and her parents, this opens a whole new can of worms. Consciously, she figures that she’ll just get an abortion. Subconsciously, she understands that the cleric she saw about it was correct about the fact that her body will not be able to handle any sort of termination and she also understands that she is in love with Redcloak and he will likely die soon (though none except the latter fact are ever acknowledged consciously). She will give birth if she doesn’t die from miscarriage, and she won’t be able to give up the child for good because it will be all she has left to remember the only man who got close enough to her heart as to be able to touch it. And since she doesn’t have a conveniently doting spouse to pawn the child off to, she’s going to actually have to attempt to raise it.

This is not to say that she doesn’t love her current children very much and wouldn’t feel the same love for this new child—she does and she would. Say what you will about her, but she’s their Other Parent/mother. She’s just terrified of screwing them up the way her parents screwed her up and therefore doesn’t know how to work with them naturally. Without Inky or Reddy helping her out, she’s certain that this new kid is doomed to a very f***** up childhood, and a subsequent miserable adulthood.

Since her conscious mind won’t let her go even that far with her surface thoughts, her subconscious makes her worries manifest in memories. She remembers all the messed up things her parents did to her and how much damage she took because of it, bringing up way too many sore spots to handle at once. Then her newfound insecurity, fear, and anger at herself and the world rips open her barely scabbed-over mental wounds and brings up the soldiers, her mind practically taunting her with her own inadequacies.

Maybe, even after all of this, she would have been able to come to terms with it in a bit and the nightmares would fade again. But no. She went into the evil hell dungeon of doom.

The visions it gives her agitate her further, and all that coupled with her hormones and the pain she’s already endured, this destroys her mental defenses. Suddenly, memories of traumas that she had conveniently filed away and hadn’t thought about in years come back and slam her full-force. She’s going insane with all the built-up pain inside. Since she’s by far the most readily screwed up individual in the dungeon (except for maybe Reddy), it is actually specifically targeting her for torture. If Redcloak hadn’t turned up when he did, I fully believe that V would have ended up killing herself just to make all of it stop.

It’s the demonic psychological domino effect!

But anyway, more about your actual question, she saw her going back for O-Chul as an exceedingly stupid breach of logic, though she doesn’t regret it. She and O-Chul are alive, they got vital information to the resistance, the refugees, and the Order, and she met Redcloak. It was a missed opportunity for even more nightmares. (Can you imagine how worse off she’d be if she left him if she’s this messed up already?)

But this has gone on too long already, so I’ll cut it short.


(The only exception is that I would expect V to kick himself more for having been too paralyzed with panic to even whisper a warning to them, but maybe that's to come later? For a first step, V's already revealed enough.)

That's more something to beat herself up over in her head for now. Reddy asked for what happened and she told him what happened, no more, no less.



One little point of criticism: Since you're writing V, it would be good to brush up on arcane spells. ^^; Fireball has a huge range and seems like not just overkill but potentially suicidal when lighting a fire. Something like Burning Hands, Scorching Ray or best just that Flaming Finger cantrip V scribed in On the Origins of PCs would be better.

Bleh! D&D rules! My immortal enemy! :smallyuk: Well, I try to look this stuff up, but I don't understand half the terminology yet. Whenever you see a spell inconsistency, try to blame it on... the fact that OotS doesn't necessarily follow D&D rules to the T. Yep. Blame it on that.



I'm wondering about the strange house they're in. A house with a capped opening for snow that doesn't keep the warmth in, but still far too many openings for something that presumably has to endure sandstorms in the desert... Then again, this is a crazy illusion dungeon designed to drive them mad. I'm not really expecting logic there. :D

It's designed so they will be psychologically tortured. Windows to see the oncoming threats. A door at the foot of the bed to stare at at night in fear. It's not built to withstand anything except happy feelings.



Glad that Reddy's decided to keep both their sex drives under control. It kind of stretched plausibility the first time when they allowed themselves to be vulnerable to danger like that. ^^;

It would if you don't take into account their mental states. Reasonable thinking is starting to crumble. They're both hopped up on hormones and reliving some of their worst experiences. They weren't thinking clearly when they had sex in the woods--though the fact that nothing had attacked them so far in the days they had been in the dungeon probably helped ease their latent reasoning skills. The fact that Redcloak was able to control the situation this time was only by virtue of the fact that he wasn't being tortured at the moment: Vaarsuvius was.



Keep writing. :D I'll soon have a little sketch of Tiasal, Xykon and Tsukiko to show you, but I still have to scan and colour it...

Yay! :D :D :D

Okay, I think I'm done...

[Saeyan]

/drunken giggle/ I love nerdiness. You and I together, we're going to rule the world.


Which part made you say that? :smallamused:

Come on now, do you even need to ask that? :smallwink: Though I guess it's kind of weird because you're writing V as a girl. But not really.

OK picture time:


http://img121.imageshack.us/img121/937/pelf.gif
Backstory: I'm going to go with "V found this copy of Playelf while rooting through Kyrie's trash" because it's plausible. I get the feeling V would be more turned on by text than boobies though. :smallannoyed:

Also, drawing with a mouse is a pain in the ass.


Does this count as the first picture of the new thread? Because it seems to be the only accomplishment I can achieve. :smallfrown:

[Asta Kask]

A copy of Playelf

You do know there's actually a Playelf Calendar by a Swedish artist, don't you?

Google it, enter the Playelf Gallery and whatever you do - don't be at work.

[Taekwondodo]

Did you ever read my story Dark_Stryke? You mentioned earlier that you would but you never said anything about it, what did you think? Also def. continue with your story, good so far!

Water-Smurf I hope you never stop over-analysing your characters. Your explanations are, to me, as entertaining as the story itself!

Cute pic Saeyan.

[DarkElfGangsta]

Did you ever read my story Dark_Stryke? You mentioned earlier that you would but you never said anything about it, what did you think? Also def. continue with your story, good so far!

Water-Smurf I hope you never stop over-analysing your characters. Your explanations are, to me, as entertaining as the story itself!

Cute pic Saeyan.

same here.
and to whomevever wants to know - i'm gonna be stayin with family in Ottawa, alta vista.

[Zanaril]

Water-Smurf I hope you never stop over-analysing your characters. Your explanations are, to me, as entertaining as the story itself!

I second this, although it does make me slightly depressed at how incapable I am of analysing and understanding characters. Or real people.



I get the feeling V would be more turned on by text than boobies though. :smallannoyed:

Oh my! All this new vocabulary!


ni. I am gonna buy it on my trip to canada next week.
Off Topic:Just watch out if you go looking for Good Omens fanfic. While there's a large community around it and some very skilled writers, the theme of the book means there's inevitably lots of fics which make Cracklord's depiction of Hell look like a pleasant walk in the park. :smallwink: I mean that very literally.

[Sstoopidtallkid]

Water-Smurf, if you need a spell effect, you can just PM me. I'm online here basically constantly and I know enough to find something to do what you want.

It's just a bit jarring to read about Fireball, which makes a 40' sphere dealing fairly high damage, being used to light some logs. The cabin wouldn't have survived.

[Dark_Stryke]

Water-Smurf, if you need a spell effect, you can just PM me. I'm online here basically constantly and I know enough to find something to do what you want.

It's just a bit jarring to read about Fireball, which makes a 40' sphere dealing fairly high damage, being used to light some logs. The cabin wouldn't have survived.

Seconding this.

I'm sure most of the community would be happy to explain some of the rules for you. If you'd just like some basic terminology so you can figure out the spell descriptions, I'm sure I could do that. eg:

1 round = six seconds
Hit Dice (HD) = essentially the number of levels the creature has. A 13th level fighter has 13d10HP (plus a number based on constitution) and thus has 13HD.
etc, etc, etc.

Going to read the stories by Gangsta and Taek now.

Aaaand done.

Taek: I've only read a little bit of Twilight (couldn't get through more than a few pages without my brain trying to punch out my eyeballs from the inside), but from what I can see it remained true to the characters. I liked it.

Gangsta: Your writing is pretty good, with only a few spelling errors. Characterization was a little off. One of Nale's plans backfiring and leaving him nearly foaming at the mouth in rage was spot on. Julia snarking him to hell and back was also spot on. No idea why they would have lead to them kissing, though. Thog made me laugh. Overall I liked it.

[CoffeeIncluded]

/drunken giggle/ I love nerdiness. You and I together, we're going to rule the world.



Come on now, do you even need to ask that? :smallwink: Though I guess it's kind of weird because you're writing V as a girl. But not really.

OK picture time:


http://img121.imageshack.us/img121/937/pelf.gif
Backstory: I'm going to go with "V found this copy of Playelf while rooting through Kyrie's trash" because it's plausible. I get the feeling V would be more turned on by text than boobies though. :smallannoyed:

Also, drawing with a mouse is a pain in the ass.


Does this count as the first picture of the new thread? Because it seems to be the only accomplishment I can achieve. :smallfrown:

Yay! I got fanart from one of my stories! Nice pic!


You do know there's actually a Playelf Calendar by a Swedish artist, don't you?

Google it, enter the Playelf Gallery and whatever you do - don't be at work.

...I don't believe it. Just knowing that actually exists squicks me out more than anything else on this thread. (Then again, rule 34...)

[Asta Kask]

...I don't believe it. Just knowing that actually exists squicks me out more than anything else on this thread. (Then again, rule 34...)

It's very good art, if you're into nude elven women. You should probably close the door, though...

[Zanaril]

...I don't believe it. Just knowing that actually exists squicks me out more than anything else on this thread. (Then again, rule 34...)

It makes your fic that much funnier.

And really, it it such a surprise? A good proportion people on this thread have an elf fetish; they're just catering for the market that's there. :smallwink:

[CoffeeIncluded]

It's very good art, if you're into nude elven women. You should probably close the door, though...

I'm a heterosexual female. Human.

[Zanaril]

I'm a heterosexual female. Human.

None of those are things you should automatically assume about anyone you meet on the internet.

Well, appart from the female bit, since it says under your avatar.

[CoffeeIncluded]

None of those are things you should automatically assume about anyone you meet on the internet.

Well, appart from the female bit, since it says under your avatar.

I know that. I'm just giving even more of a reason that I'm not gonna touch that link with a standard-issue 10-foot pole.

Wait, but not the human bit?

[Asta Kask]

I'm a heterosexual female. Human.

And a brainy nerd who dislikes Twilight... *sigh* if only you were ten years older...

[Zanaril]

I know that. I'm just giving even more of a reason that I'm not gonna touch that link with a standard-issue 10-foot pole.

Wait, but not the human bit?

...

>_>

<_<

You could be a spambot. (http://xkcd.com/632/)
*sighs in relief at narrow escape*

[CoffeeIncluded]

And a brainy nerd who dislikes Twilight... *sigh* if only you were ten years older...

You also have the "I live across the Atlantic" problem.


...

>_>

<_<

You could be a spambot. (http://xkcd.com/632/)

*Pokes arm*

Arm: *Is warm*

...Don't think I have that problem.

[Taekwondodo]

I'm a heterosexual female. Human.

For (mostly) non-naked pics check the worksafe gallery. I just wish I could draw like that...

[Asta Kask]

For (mostly) non-naked pics check the worksafe gallery. I just wish I could draw like that...

I love his drawings. This one's for Closak:

http://ackegard.com/gallery/d/8478-3/rough_dragon.jpg

[Asta Kask]

You also have the "I live across the Atlantic" problem.

Airplanes, m'dear, airplanes.

[CoffeeIncluded]

Airplanes, m'dear, airplanes.

Yes. Yes, I am going to take what little money I have out of my bank account (Because I don't have a job yet and I'm saving my bat mitzvah money for college), fly to Sweden against my parents' will despite the fact that I'm not yet a legal adult, and enter a tryst with a guy ten years older than me who I met on the internet, and I don't even know his name.

Reality called, you've gone missing and they're about to send for the police.

[Aaron]

I second this, although it does make me slightly depressed at how incapable I am of analysing and understanding characters. Or real people.

:smallamused: Then get outside more often.:smalltongue:


You also have the "I live across the Atlantic" problem.

Whats so bad about that?:smallconfused:

[The Dark Fiddler]

Well, appart from the female bit, since it says under your avatar.

If I didn't trust Coffee more, I'd say she might actually be a G.I.R.L.

Guy in Real Life.

But I trust Coffee better than that. :smalltongue:

[Zanaril]

:smallamused: Then get outside more often.:smalltongue:

No thanks. I already spend enough time every day surrounded by people to tell that most of them are jerks.


I love his drawings. This one's for Closak:

http://ackegard.com/gallery/d/8478-3/rough_dragon.jpg

...great, now he's gonna start asking for dragon porn. I hope you're happy with yourself. :smallsigh:

[Meg]

Another drawing.


http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2518/4166659005_d03feb44e7.jpg


And no, no I do not know what possessed me to draw this. And again, sorry for the so-so quality of the colors, colored pencils don't scan very well. :smallfrown:

[CoffeeIncluded]

No thanks. I already spend enough time every day surrounded by people to tell that most of them are jerks.

Allow me to tell you about my day.

My life is finally getting back in order. Despite a cold, I'm doing well in school again. I got As on all my tests. Great, huh?

Except now I'm being sexually harassed by almost every single guy in my class.

[The Dark Fiddler]

My life is finally getting back in order. Despite a cold, I'm doing well in school again. I got As on all my tests. Great, huh?

Hey, congrats!


Except now I'm being sexually harassed by almost every single guy in my class.

Go to the principal and threaten to use the law if they do nothing?*

*Standard response to anything school-related. :smalltongue:

[Closak]

I love his drawings. This one's for Closak:

http://ackegard.com/gallery/d/8478-3/rough_dragon.jpg

Nice...



...great, now he's gonna start asking for dragon porn. I hope you're happy with yourself. :smallsigh:

*Whistles innocently*

[Kaytara]

Wow, Water-Smurf. :D Hearing you go on about your characters (and yes, I really DID write "your characters" there without thinking, because of how wonderfully you've fleshed them out) is almost as good as another chapter. I wish I could say I'm sorry for making spend what was surely an extra half hour of typing it out, but I'm not nearly selfless enough for that. :D

I'm glad you elaborated on the literary techniques, too. I'd also been wanting to ask about that, but I forgot...

I also try to do that, the "referring to another character in a way consistent with the POV". V is mostly just "elf" or "Ears" to Belkar. I didn't realise it was an actual literary technique, though. :smalleek: It always seemed to me like something that was just part of writing someone's inner voice.

You know, the recent Star Trek movie got me into the shiny new reboot fandom.
Except that now I'm having rather strange thoughts about the TrekVerse version of elves and how someone should totally write a OotSxStarTrek crossover with a Vaarsuvius/Spock pairing. :smallsigh:

[BatRobin]

*ahem*

I HAZ A CHALLENGE KTHX.



Someone write Leeky Windstaff x Julia Greenhilt x Vaarsuvius x Jirix x Tsukiko x Bugbear snowed in in a cabin.

[Zanaril]

You know, the recent Star Trek movie got me into the shiny new reboot fandom.
Except that now I'm having rather strange thoughts about the TrekVerse version of elves and how someone should totally write a OotSxStarTrek crossover with a Vaarsuvius/Spock pairing. :smallsigh:




Art by Tira-chan

http://i608.photobucket.com/albums/tt165/Tirajm/Picture003.jpg
Spock and Vaarsuvius.



I know nothing about StarTrek, but I still agree.

[Dark Faun]

It always seemed to me like something that was just part of writing someone's inner voice.
Same here. It's just a part of making them in character. It actually reminds me of a fanfiction writer who wrote one story in two parts; the same plot lived through two different characters. In this case it was the (cartoon) Teen Titans fandom with Robin (circus boy who lived most of his life under Batman's wing) and Terra (blonde girl who literally lived under a rock for most of her life). The narrative contrast was impressive.

And nice story CoffeeIncluded. :smalltongue:

[Water-Smurf]

Thanks to everyone who's willing to help me out with spells!

(Hey, what level do you guys think Aarindarius is? I have the SRD sorcerer/wizard spell list open, but I don't know where he'd be...)


I wish I could say I'm sorry for making spend what was surely an extra half hour of typing it out, but I'm not nearly selfless enough for that. :D

No need to apologize! I'm usually actively waiting for someone to ask a question like that. I love going on verbose rants but I don't want to make anyone read something they didn't ask for.


I also try to do that, the "referring to another character in a way consistent with the POV". V is mostly just "elf" or "Ears" to Belkar. I didn't realise it was an actual literary technique, though. :smalleek: It always seemed to me like something that was just part of writing someone's inner voice.

It is, and it is also a literary technique. It's about using words with connotations but technically mean the same thing (I mean, just look at Frankenstein and Their Eyes were Watching God! They are the king and queen of this). 'Lover' and 'partner' mean the same thing, but one implies something much more intimate than the other. It's about the nuance of language, implying things to a deeper extent than just how the character would talk. (I mean, you're able to figure out that Victor Frankenstein is gay without any proof beyond the nuances of his behavior and language.



Except that now I'm having rather strange thoughts about the TrekVerse version of elves and how someone should totally write a OotSxStarTrek crossover with a Vaarsuvius/Spock pairing. :smallsigh:

Similar story on my end, though in addition to V/Spock, I've also been thinking up V/the Magus from Gargoyles. (They have a lot in common, those two...)

Maybe I'll make a short story or something with either pairing...

[Zanaril]

My guess would be that Aarindarius is a level or two shy of epic. So maybe 17, 18, 19? If he was on par with Xykon, I think he would have been mentioned as a potential ally, despite V wanting to do things on her own. And he can hardly be lower level than V.


Similar story on my end, though in addition to V/Spock, I've also been thinking up V/the Magus from Gargoyles. (They have a lot in common, those two...)

Maybe I'll make a short story or something with either pairing...

Never heard of that last one. What's Gargoyles? :smallconfused:

And out of interest, are you still planning on writing a V/Aandy story? :smalltongue:

[Dark Faun]

And out of interest, are you still planning on writing a V/Aandy lime? :smalltongue:
Fixed. :smallwink:

[Zanaril]

Fixed. :smallwink:

Guilty as charged. :smallredface:

[The Dark Fiddler]

And he can hardly be lower level than V.

I dunno, he's been sitting at home all this time, probably studying. Everybody knows you only get more powerful by killing things, not by studying. :smalltongue:

Also, I find your placement of italics interesting.

[Zanaril]

I dunno, he's been sitting at home all this time, probably studying. Everybody knows you only get more powerful by killing things, not by studying. :smalltongue:
If he had been equal or lower level than V, he wouldn't have been the alternative plan for killing the ABD. I know V was in pretty bad shape there, but if he wasn't powerful enough to deal with the dragon, V would have called them up in it. (Or maybe not, but there's no indication that V didn't believe the alternative plan would work.)


Also, I find your placement of italics interesting.
...Eh? :smallconfused:

[The Dark Fiddler]

lower

This. 'ower' is italicized, 'l' is not. :smalltongue:

[Zanaril]

This. 'ower' is italicized, 'l' is not. :smalltongue:

So that's why it looks weird. That's just me using the highlighting tool instead of typing the BB code and missing the first letter.

[Dark Faun]

This. 'ower' is italicized, 'l' is not. :smalltongue:
At first I thought you meant an innuendo about lower level and V topping... I'm sorely disappointed. :smallwink:

[Zanaril]

And here I thought you thought the italics meant a double entendre about who topped... :smallwink:

Well now you mention it...

*goes and writes ' lower/higher "level" ' on list of potential double entendres*

Of course now I can't use that one until you've all forgotten it. :smallannoyed:

[silversaraph]

I dunno, he's been sitting at home all this time, probably studying. Everybody knows you only get more powerful by killing things, not by studying. :smalltongue:


According to the origin, V got to level 13 or so on studying alone before becoming an adventurer after eight decades of learning. If V is 100+, Andy would be at least 200-300 at the minimum. According to Haley, adventuring is twelve times faster than the traditional methods of your class, (Studying for V or being a thief for Haley...). Andy also seemed when *h* kicked V out of h** castle that it was bad to be one who only studies, so it's safe to assume he/she got some adventuring in as well.

And that V, who had several epic level *contractors* took several rounds to kill the dragon, while it seemed A could do it instantly is an "absurdly powerful warning".

Then again, my lack of a social brain might have looked over whether or not this specific topic was supposed to be a serious discussion. :smallyuk:

[Saeyan]

someone should totally write a OotSxStarTrek crossover with a Vaarsuvius/Spock pairing. :smallsigh:

YES! I'd do it if I had a plot. Or maybe I could just do what I've been doing with my current V stories...


I'm a heterosexual female. Human.

Same, but that doesn't prevent me from drawing females almost exclusively and visiting Playelf galleries.

Well, actually I haven't visited the gallery yet, but I am planning to once my room is empty.

[Dark_Stryke]

Thanks to everyone who's willing to help me out with spells!

(Hey, what level do you guys think Aarindarius is? I have the SRD sorcerer/wizard spell list open, but I don't know where he'd be...)

Not having read Origin of the PCs, I'd hazard a guess at the 15-17 range. I doubt Aarindarius could have killed the dragon as easily as the fiends made it out to be, or else, as someone in the thread mentioned, Aarindarius is absurdly powerful, which doesn't make much sense.

[DarkElfGangsta]

what I know about DND is slightly more about what I know about twilight (not much - sparkly vampires, bad actors, weak females, etc.) but can someone kind of explain the levels to me? on a scale of 100, how poerful is say, V? or his master? or xykon?

[Sstoopidtallkid]

what I know about DND is slightly more about what I know about twilight (not much - sparkly vampires, bad actors, weak females, etc.) but can someone kind of explain the levels to me? on a scale of 100, how poerful is say, V? or his master? or xykon?Levels are 1-20. V and the party are about 15 now. His master we think is ~17. Xykon is 27+, and no, that's not a typo.

15: The laws of reality have been broken
17: The laws of reality are crying in a corner
27: The laws of reality are currently suffering from Evan's Spiked Tentacles

That said, the above applies to well-built casters, which no one in the comic is. V is learning to apply hir might more effectively, but as-is, it's more, Xykon can wipe out armies of 12th level characters, Aandi can wipe out groups of 15th level characters, and V can wipe out groups of 12th level characters.

Edit: For reference, 5th level is when PCs can start preforming beyond human capability with minimal investment and no spellcasting.

[Dark_Stryke]

Alright, time for a new chapter.

Chapter 2: "I just hope a barfight doesn't break out"

Roy swallowed past the panicked lump that was quickly forming in his throat. "N-now Miko, remember what happened last time you slashed an unarmed man..." He backpedalled towards the bar, keeping his table between him and his assailant.

Miko simply kicked the table, sending it careening to the right. Roy could vaguely hear Smilin' Pete's protests in the background as he kept his focus on the armored woman. Her eyes had narrowed dangerously. "Yes, I remember." She hissed. "I remember how you tricked me into betraying my liege lord. I will not let you humiliate me again! Die!"

"It's a bit late for - gah!" Roy cried as Miko lunged at him, sword first. He blocked the blade awkwardly with his chair and leapt back out of reach. He circled her, trying to keep from being pinned in a corner. "Miko, for once in your life - death, whatever - just stop and think for a moment! What will you gain by skewering me?"

"This is about justice, Greenhilt! It's a concept you have little grasp of!" Again she lunged forward, swinging her katana with both hands. Roy blocked one strike with the chair, dodged the second, and caught the third one on the shoulder. He hissed in pain. Okay, so he could be hurt in the afterlife.

"Roy's Archon!" He barked desperately. "I can't die again, can I?"

"Do you really want to find out?" The Archon asked nervously.

"Shut up and fight me, Greenhilt!" Miko demanded, taking another wild thrust. Roy jumped back and suddenly found himself against the bar.

He glanced at the bar, finding it a bit too high to jump. "I'm a bit busy taking total defense actions to - uh oh." Sensing that he was trapped, Miko was charging straight at him, sword raised above her head. About three steps away from him she suddenly vaulted into the air, bringing her sword down towards his head in a deadly arc.

Roy did the only thing he could think of at that moment. He tossed his chair to the side, and, in a maneuver that could be called equal parts inspiration and stupidity, dropped flat and rolled, such that Miko's swing - and then Miko herself - flew wildly over his head. He heard a thunk and the sound of shattering glassware as the katana embedded itself about a foot into the bar.

He picked himself up as fast as his armor would allow, quickly training his eyes on his opponent. He found her struggling vainly to pull her sword out of the bar, cursing under her breath. Roy grabbed his chair and looked at Pete, who nodded mutely. He shrugged, squared his stance, raised the chair up high, and brought it smashing down on the back of his attacker's head. He could barely contain a grin as Miko screamed in indignation and pain as the chair shattered into a million splinters over her skull.

"Oh yeah, that felt good." He gloated. "Roy's Archon, did you see that?"

"Roy, look out!" The Archon yelled.

Roy had just enough time to turn around and see Miko's rage-filled eyes as she leapt at him with her short sword (wakizashi? He wasn't sure if that was the correct term) extended. He sidestepped, but not fast enough, and was rewarded with a stinging cut to the side for his moment of indescretion.

"Where's your ancestral sword now, villain?" Miko snarled, shaking her head to dislodge a few of the wood chips in her hair.

"It's actually kind of a long story!" Roy replied, trying to sound optimistic. "If you'd like to put this fight on hold I could tell y-" She lunged at him again with a wordless snarl, and he literally dove under a table to avoid her. Once under it, he flipped it so that the tabletop faced her, putting another obstacle between them. "I guess that's a no?"

"I am not sure how you managed to get in here, Greenhilt, but rest assured, I am going to defeat you and bring you to the proper authorities. Your soul will end up where it belongs!" Miko declared, the very picture of righteous anger. She jumped over the upturned table and landed mere feet from the beleagured Roy.

"You WHAT?!" Roy yelled back, suddenly full of anger of his own. "You think I snuck into the Celestial Realm?"

"How else would a menace like you get in here?" Miko demanded. She jumped back as Roy flung a mug at her, then kicked a thrown chair out of her way. "You don't mean to tell me they just let you walk in!"

"You're insane!" Roy shot back. He grabbed a steak knife from an empty table with a half finished meal upon it. Evidently the patron who had been sitting there had been wise enough to flee. "You can't even comprehend that you might have been wrong, about anything!" He charged, swinging the knife in a viscious diagonal slash that caught nothing but air. "Did it ever occur to you that maybe they let me in?! Because I've lived a life of law and goodness?!" He continued to rant, slashing wildly, forcing Miko back. "That maybe I haven't gone around making a mockery of the forces of good while preaching that I work for them?!"

"Shut up, shut up, SHUT UP!" Miko shrieked, launching a series of three quick attacks that left Roy with two new gashes to add to his growing collection. Roy considered himself the victor in the exchange, though. He'd managed to score a hit on her cheek with a dirty steak knife. He hoped she'd somehow get an infection from the wound.

"Talking's a free action, I'll say as much as I like!" Roy replied, feeling only slightly less angry than the now rabidly snarling Miko. He feinted low and then punched her in the mouth with his off hand, being sure to rake his fist over her wounded cheek. She stumbled back. "You're an arrogant bitch who's so out of touch with reality that it makes more sense to you that I somehow tricked the gods themselves into letting me play on their mountain rather than that I'm one of the good guys."

Miko charged wildly, swinging her blade overhead. Roy sidestepped, letting her run past, and gave her a wicked cut on her side for her trouble. "Try not to power attack for your entire base attack bonus next time." He growled. He expected another wild attack, but apparently some part of what he was saying was penetrating the thick wall of rage and pride that cut off the logic centers of Miko's brain. She was crouched low in a battle stance, clutching at the wound on her side with her free hand. She advanced on him cautiously.

Roy looked at his opponent. Maybe, just this once, he could talk his way through an encounter with Miko. If he was wrong, well, he still had a bunch of hit points left. He reversed his grip on the knife and slammed it into a table over another protest from Pete. Miko blinked at him in shock, hovering just out of his melee range, perhaps suspecting a trap. "You know what, Miko?" He said, letting go of his anger. "I'm done. I'm not playing your game any more. I didn't like butting heads with you in life and I like it even less in death. So go ahead. Arrest me or whatever it is you plan to do. Take me to your authorities so we can get this stupid business sorted out and I can go back to visiting my mom and my little brother."

Miko's eyes flickered over his face. "This is a trick." She said, sounding just the slightest bit unsure of herself.

"I don't care what you think. You've been nothing but wrong since we've met, and I finally see that there's no way I can convince you that I'm on the side of good. So I'm done having these schoolyard fights with you. Call the teacher. I don't care anymore." Very pointedly, Roy pulled out a chair and sat in it, folding his arms.

Miko's eyes flickered to her blade and then back to her defenseless opponent.

Roy rolled his eyes. "Go ahead, do it. Say you're on the side of justice and stab an unarmed man who's cooperating with you. Make yourself a hypocrite again."

Surprisingly, Miko chuckled. "Ah, I see what you're doing here, Greenhilt. This is all just another trick. You want me to lose my temper. You want me to stab you. I bet the bartender was in on it! It was all just an elaborate ruse!"

"Yes Miko, you've figured me out! I enjoy being run-through! How will I ever live out my masochistic fantasies now?"

"What's your game, Greenhilt? What does getting me to stab you accomplish for you?"

Roy practically groaned. "Nothing, you idiot! It'd get me dead! Again! Somehow! I-I-gah!" He trailed off into a number of choked, angry sounds, wringing his hands. "Were you always like this, or did they just forget to remove the stick from your ass along with the rest of your Paladin features?!"

Roy was not prepared for what happened next. Miko recoiled as if struck, dropping her weapon with a clatter. If he hadn't been stunned into motionlessness, he probably would have used that moment to get the sword away from her. Next, he watched as her face twisted into a horrible mask of grief and pain, and finally, she fell to her knees, pressing both hands over her face.

Roy would have laughed at anyone who told him a tale as outlandish as the scene that was playing out before him now. It was something he had never expected to see in either life or death. Miko Miyazaki was crying.

And I managed to end on another cliffhanger. So, what do we think? I'm not sure how good I am at writing action sequences, especially with dialogue mixed in. I hope it flows alright.

[Sstoopidtallkid]

Alright, time for a new chapter.

Chapter 2: "I just hope a barfight doesn't break out"

Roy swallowed past the panicked lump that was quickly forming in his throat. "N-now Miko, remember what happened last time you slashed an unarmed man..." He backpedalled towards the bar, keeping his table between him and his assailant.

Miko simply kicked the table, sending it careening to the right. Roy could vaguely hear Smilin' Pete's protests in the background as he kept his focus on the armored woman. Her eyes had narrowed dangerously. "Yes, I remember." She hissed. "I remember how you tricked me into betraying my liege lord. I will not let you humiliate me again! Die!"

"It's a bit late for - gah!" Roy cried as Miko lunged at him, sword first. He blocked the blade awkwardly with his chair and leapt back out of reach. He circled her, trying to keep from being pinned in a corner. "Miko, for once in your life - death, whatever - just stop and think for a moment! What will you gain by skewering me?"

"This is about justice, Greenhilt! It's a concept you have little grasp of!" Again she lunged forward, swinging her katana with both hands. Roy blocked one strike with the chair, dodged the second, and caught the third one on the shoulder. He hissed in pain. Okay, so he could be hurt in the afterlife.

"Roy's Archon!" He barked desperately. "I can't die again, can I?"

"Do you really want to find out?" The Archon asked nervously.

"Shut up and fight me, Greenhilt!" Miko demanded, taking another wild thrust. Roy jumped back and suddenly found himself against the bar.

He glanced at the bar, finding it a bit too high to jump. "I'm a bit busy taking total defense actions to - uh oh." Sensing that he was trapped, Miko was charging straight at him, sword raised above her head. About three steps away from him she suddenly vaulted into the air, bringing her sword down towards his head in a deadly arc.

Roy did the only thing he could think of at that moment. He tossed his chair to the side, and, in a maneuver that could be called equal parts inspiration and stupidity, dropped flat and rolled, such that Miko's swing - and then Miko herself - flew wildly over his head. He heard a thunk and the sound of shattering glassware as the katana embedded itself about a foot into the bar.

He picked himself up as fast as his armor would allow, quickly training his eyes on his opponent. He found her struggling vainly to pull her sword out of the bar, cursing under her breath. Roy grabbed his chair and looked at Pete, who nodded mutely. He shrugged, squared his stance, raised the chair up high, and brought it smashing down on the back of his attacker's head. He could barely contain a grin as Miko screamed in indignation and pain as the chair shattered into a million splinters over her skull.

"Oh yeah, that felt good." He gloated. "Roy's Archon, did you see that?"

"Roy, look out!" The Archon yelled.

Roy had just enough time to turn around and see Miko's rage-filled eyes as she leapt at him with her short sword (wakizashi? He wasn't sure if that was the correct term) extended. He sidestepped, but not fast enough, and was rewarded with a stinging cut to the side for his moment of indescretion.

"Where's your ancestral sword now, villain?" Miko snarled, shaking her head to dislodge a few of the wood chips in her hair.

"It's actually kind of a long story!" Roy replied, trying to sound optimistic. "If you'd like to put this fight on hold I could tell y-" She lunged at him again with a wordless snarl, and he literally dove under a table to avoid her. Once under it, he flipped it so that the tabletop faced her, putting another obstacle between them. "I guess that's a no?"

"I am not sure how you managed to get in here, Greenhilt, but rest assured, I am going to defeat you and bring you to the proper authorities. Your soul will end up where it belongs!" Miko declared, the very picture of righteous anger. She jumped over the upturned table and landed mere feet from the beleagured Roy.

"You WHAT?!" Roy yelled back, suddenly full of anger of his own. "You think I snuck into the Celestial Realm?"

"How else would a menace like you get in here?" Miko demanded. She jumped back as Roy flung a mug at her, then kicked a thrown chair out of her way. "You don't mean to tell me they just let you walk in!"

"You're insane!" Roy shot back. He grabbed a steak knife from an empty table with a half finished meal upon it. Evidently the patron who had been sitting there had been wise enough to flee. "You can't even comprehend that you might have been wrong, about anything!" He charged, swinging the knife in a viscious diagonal slash that caught nothing but air. "Did it ever occur to you that maybe they let me in?! Because I've lived a life of law and goodness?!" He continued to rant, slashing wildly, forcing Miko back. "That maybe I haven't gone around making a mockery of the forces of good while preaching that I work for them?!"

"Shut up, shut up, SHUT UP!" Miko shrieked, launching a series of three quick attacks that left Roy with two new gashes to add to his growing collection. Roy considered himself the victor in the exchange, though. He'd managed to score a hit on her cheek with a dirty steak knife. He hoped she'd somehow get an infection from the wound.

"Talking's a free action, I'll say as much as I like!" Roy replied, feeling only slightly less angry than the now rabidly snarling Miko. He feinted low and then punched her in the mouth with his off hand, being sure to rake his fist over her wounded cheek. She stumbled back. "You're an arrogant bitch who's so out of touch with reality that it makes more sense to you that I somehow tricked the gods themselves into letting me play on their mountain rather than that I'm one of the good guys."

Miko charged wildly, swinging her blade overhead. Roy sidestepped, letting her run past, and gave her a wicked cut on her side for her trouble. "Try not to power attack for your entire base attack bonus next time." He growled. He expected another wild attack, but apparently some part of what he was saying was penetrating the thick wall of rage and pride that cut off the logic centers of Miko's brain. She was crouched low in a battle stance, clutching at the wound on her side with her free hand. She advanced on him cautiously.

Roy looked at his opponent. Maybe, just this once, he could talk his way through an encounter with Miko. If he was wrong, well, he still had a bunch of hit points left. He reversed his grip on the knife and slammed it into a table over another protest from Pete. Miko blinked at him in shock, hovering just out of his melee range, perhaps suspecting a trap. "You know what, Miko?" He said, letting go of his anger. "I'm done. I'm not playing your game any more. I didn't like butting heads with you in life and I like it even less in death. So go ahead. Arrest me or whatever it is you plan to do. Take me to your authorities so we can get this stupid business sorted out and I can go back to visiting my mom and my little brother."

Miko's eyes flickered over his face. "This is a trick." She said, sounding just the slightest bit unsure of herself.

"I don't care what you think. You've been nothing but wrong since we've met, and I finally see that there's no way I can convince you that I'm on the side of good. So I'm done having these schoolyard fights with you. Call the teacher. I don't care anymore." Very pointedly, Roy pulled out a chair and sat in it, folding his arms.

Miko's eyes flickered to her blade and then back to her defenseless opponent.

Roy rolled his eyes. "Go ahead, do it. Say you're on the side of justice and stab an unarmed man who's cooperating with you. Make yourself a hypocrite again."

Surprisingly, Miko chuckled. "Ah, I see what you're doing here, Greenhilt. This is all just another trick. You want me to lose my temper. You want me to stab you. I bet the bartender was in on it! It was all just an elaborate ruse!"

"Yes Miko, you've figured me out! I enjoy being run-through! How will I ever live out my masochistic fantasies now?"

"What's your game, Greenhilt? What does getting me to stab you accomplish for you?"

Roy practically groaned. "Nothing, you idiot! It'd get me dead! Again! Somehow! I-I-gah!" He trailed off into a number of choked, angry sounds, wringing his hands. "Were you always like this, or did they just forget to remove the stick from your ass along with the rest of your Paladin features?!"

Roy was not prepared for what happened next. Miko recoiled as if struck, dropping her weapon with a clatter. If he hadn't been stunned into motionlessness, he probably would have used that moment to get the sword away from her. Next, he watched as her face twisted into a horrible mask of grief and pain, and finally, she fell to her knees, pressing both hands over her face.

Roy would have laughed at anyone who told him a tale as outlandish as the scene that was playing out before him now. It was something he had never expected to see in either life or death. Miko Miyazaki was crying.

And I managed to end on another cliffhanger. So, what do we think? I'm not sure how good I am at writing action sequences, especially with dialogue mixed in. I hope it flows alright.Wow. Very good. Again, this is the sort of thing that I could have seen happening in the comic(though you need to give Roy something else to call his Archon, that part seems stilted).

I do think you need to work on the action scenes a bit. You seem to have wanted to have Roy starting off unarmed and cornered, and to gain the upper hand through use of his environment and by arguing with Miko. He does better as she gets madder sort of a thing, correct? The pacing seems right, but the action doesn't convey that. It's hard for me to follow who's getting injured and how badly.

Edit: why is it that I have a lot of praise and one minor complaint, but the complaint is twice as large?

[DarkElfGangsta]

Levels are 1-20. V and the party are about 15 now. His master we think is ~17. Xykon is 27+, and no, that's not a typo.

15: The laws of reality have been broken
17: The laws of reality are crying in a corner
27: The laws of reality are currently suffering from Evan's Spiked Tentacles

That said, the above applies to well-built casters, which no one in the comic is. V is learning to apply hir might more effectively, but as-is, it's more, Xykon can wipe out armies of 12th level characters, Aandi can wipe out groups of 15th level characters, and V can wipe out groups of 12th level characters.

Edit: For reference, 5th level is when PCs can start preforming beyond human capability with minimal investment and no spellcasting.

thanks man!
one question tho: why did you put V and xykon on the same level (both can wipe out armies of 12th level cars?):smallconfused:

edit NVM got it

[Dark_Stryke]

Wow. Very good. Again, this is the sort of thing that I could have seen happening in the comic(though you need to give Roy something else to call his Archon, that part seems stilted).

I do think you need to work on the action scenes a bit. You seem to have wanted to have Roy starting off unarmed and cornered, and to gain the upper hand through use of his environment and by arguing with Miko. He does better as she gets madder sort of a thing, correct? The pacing seems right, but the action doesn't convey that. It's hard for me to follow who's getting injured and how badly.

Edit: why is it that I have a lot of praise and one minor complaint, but the complaint is twice as large?

Mm, yes and no to the "he does better as she gets madder" thing. They're both strong warriors, and Miko has been shown to be able to fight well even when she's mad, so it'd be silly for Roy to beat her with a non-magical knife just because she was angry. Neither of them ended up particularly injured during the fight. Roy was taking total defense actions at the beginning, and Miko's damage output dropped dramatically once she lost her main weapon.

Mechanical examination of the fight:

At the start of the fight, Roy is using the chair as an improvised shield and taking total defense actions, boosting his AC. Miko only scores one hit on him with the katana during this time. She isn't power attacking yet.

Roy circles her, but doesn't account for the position of the bar, thinking he has the whole room to use to maneuver. Seeing him trapped, Miko charges and power attacks for the entirety of her Base Attack Bonus, which allows Roy to do his "drop and roll" maneuver. I'm playing somewhat fast and loose with the D&D rules, yes. I'd imagine some feat combination that Roy probably doesn't have would replicate that sequence, though.

Next, when Miko's sword get stuck in the bar, Roy power attacks her with the chair for a decent amount, but probably not his full attack bonus. He wanted to hit her with a chair because he thought it was funny. He takes a moment to congratulate himself and turns away. Miko attacks with her short sword, power attacking while he's flat footed. This is where he gets the gash on his side, the only major wound he receives in the fight.

At this point he has no weapon and again starts taking total defense actions. He puts a table between the two of them, first using it as cover, then backing away from it. Miko vaults over it with a jump check.

Roy makes two improvised thrown attacks, one with a mug and one with a chair. Both miss (represented by her dodging one and kicking the other while it's in mid-flight).

Miko finally makes Roy mad here, and he grabs a steak knife. They start really fighting here for a round or two, trading a few hits (Roy gets two gashes and cuts Miko's face). Miko eventually gets angry enough that she throws everything she has into another charging power attack, apparently not having learned that Roy's AC is rather high. He hits her instead, as her AC dropped from charging.

The fight pretty much ends at this point. They're both high level, and neither of them is fighting with a main weapon, so they haven't taken a considerable amount of damage.

I'll work on getting the amount of description right, though. I really don't want to over-describe what's happening, because that can make an action sequence seem really boring, and I wouldn't want that. I'd rather have the reader filling in a few blanks and be entertained than get a blow-by-blow account and be bored.

Rest assured this won't be the last action sequence. I'll try to add some more description next time and see how it goes.

Edit: Oh, and thanks for the compliments! I understand that criticism sometimes has to be more in depth :smallsmile:

[Asta Kask]

Yes. Yes, I am going to take what little money I have out of my bank account (Because I don't have a job yet and I'm saving my bat mitzvah money for college), fly to Sweden against my parents' will despite the fact that I'm not yet a legal adult, and enter a tryst with a guy ten years older than me who I met on the internet, and I don't even know his name.

This is verging on a threadjack, but I cannot let that stand. You misunderstood me, misrepresented me, and forgot the premise. :smallmad:

1) the premise was that you would be 10 years older. I assume 26 is legal age in the U.S. (I would still be ten years older - I'm 36 - but 25-ish is my lower age limit.)

2) I was actually planning to come to the U.S. Needless to say, I wouldn't do that without having a little more info then I have.

3) It's getting a little creepy talking to a 16-year old about this, so let me state this in general: if I found the Girl of My Dreams (and yes, she would probably have to be between 25 and 45) I wouldn't consider it a great sacrifice to pick up my tent poles and move to wherever she was. I should probably avoid the near-equatorial zones, though - my brain shuts down when the temperature approaches 80 degrees (Fahrenheit).

All clear? Or are you going to call ECPAT?

[Saeyan]

This is verging on a threadjack, but I cannot let that stand. You misunderstood me, misrepresented me, and forgot the premise. :smallmad:


I thought she was joking. :smallconfused: But then again, what I think is often wrong.

PS: Dark Stryke, great chapter and nice references. It really meshes well with the comic's style.

PPS: What did everyone think of V and Playelf? Should I keep doing pictures in Flash?

PPPS: I get the feeling he was half-joking too...

PPPPS: I feel like Gandalf.

[CoffeeIncluded]

This is verging on a threadjack, but I cannot let that stand. You misunderstood me, misrepresented me, and forgot the premise. :smallmad:

1) the premise was that you would be 10 years older. I assume 26 is legal age in the U.S. (I would still be ten years older - I'm 36 - but 25-ish is my lower age limit.)

2) I was actually planning to come to the U.S. Needless to say, I wouldn't do that without having a little more info then I have.

3) It's getting a little creepy talking to a 16-year old about this, so let me state this in general: if I found the Girl of My Dreams (and yes, she would probably have to be between 25 and 45) I wouldn't consider it a great sacrifice to pick up my tent poles and move to wherever she was. I should probably avoid the near-equatorial zones, though - my brain shuts down when the temperature approaches 80 degrees (Fahrenheit).

All clear? Or are you going to call ECPAT?

...I was joking...

[Meg]

Home sick. Don't expect any updates from me, at least not for a while. Blarf.

[Silverraptor]

Blast it all. You guys go too fast that I can't keep up!:smallsigh:

[Asta Kask]

...great, now he's gonna start asking for dragon porn. I hope you're happy with yourself. :smallsigh:

He can look for it on the Internet. Believe me, there's more between computer and server than was ever dreamt of in yon crack pairings thread...

[Asta Kask]

...I was joking...

I'm sorry if I overreacted. But use smilies next time.

[Asta Kask]

To the authors on the thread:

Thank you for the stories, the tales I’m reading
Thanks for all the squick they’re breeding
Who can live without it, I ask in all honesty
What would life be?
Without a tale or a yarn what are we?
So I say thank you for the stories
For giving them to me

[Aaron]

Blast it all. You guys go too fast that I can't keep up!:smallsigh:

*From way up ahead* We're just that fast.:smallbiggrin:

[Meg]

“We can’t keep this up in this weather.”

Vaarsuvius simply stopped walking, trying to hide the violent shivers running up and down the small elven body. The snow was rapidly gathering on the street, and they had almost slipped and fallen on the ice several times. The white fluff from the sky already had gotten to the point where it nearly reached the travelers’ knees, and it showed no sign of stopping. “Where do you suggest we settle, then?”

“One of the houses. At least they will keep the snow out over the night.”

Vaarsuvius didn’t protest. Redcloak noted with worry that the tips of the elf’s fingers had taken a bluish color, but he didn’t comment. His cheek still stung where Vaarsuvius had struck it, and he doubted that the elf would react any better to his concern just then.

They both trekked to one of the closer homes, having to struggle a little to get the door open and walk inside.

Redcloak forced the door closed, glancing around the hut. The first thing he noticed was that there was one bed for two with a thick blanket. (Well, he was fine with that—it’s not like they hadn’t slept together before.) There was a pile of wood under a window and a hole in the ceiling, probably meant for smoke from fires, was designed with a little elevated cap on it to protect from snow.

That was odd. Deserts weren’t supposed to get snow, so why would the homes be built to handle it?

“Did you prepare any fire spells today?” Redcloak asked, going over to the pile of wood and setting logs up in the middle of the dirt floor.

“Of course.”

Redcloak backed away and Vaarsuvius sent a fireball at the wood, immediately starting the flame. The goblin reflexively jumped a little away from the fire, quickly making sure that it wouldn’t catch on the house. “Don’t get too close right now. You don’t want to warm up too fast.”

The elf didn’t comment when the goblin took delicate hands between his own, slowly warming them to avoid tissue damage. The fire cracked gently but did little to heat up the room. The warmth kept flowing out the windows.

The silence made Redcloak very uncomfortable, but he still wasn’t quite ready to reach out again. He and Vaarsuvius had become dangerously intimate in the last few days, and the elf was right to try to push him away. They wouldn’t be able to fight each other if this kept up.

“We’ll be okay. I promise.”

He had been so stupid to say that, but he couldn’t bring himself to regret it. It was, quite frankly, a promise he couldn’t keep. They wouldn’t be okay. One or both of them was going to come out of this whole thing dead or worse.

Vaarsuvius was doing the smart thing by trying to drive a wedge between them. It hurt, and he worried about both of their abilities to cope with the monstrous dungeon if they didn’t allow each other close, but he knew that Vaarsuvius was right.

He slipped his hands away from the elf’s. “It should be okay to be close to the fire, now.”

They both silently sat near the fire, the uncomfortable silence stretching.

Vaarsuvius suddenly stiffened, ears twitching. Redcloak glanced at his lover in confusion. “Vaarsuvius?”

“…I seem to have detected some strange sounds outside.”

The goblin stood up immediately, walking to the window and glancing out at the wintry landscape.

He tensed, stifling a growl in his throat and doing his best to hide any signs of distress.

“Redcloak?”

That was when he realized that he couldn’t hide anything from Vaarsuvius.

Blood spatters stained the white ground. That alone wouldn’t bother him—it was a cheap visual trick. What bothered him was the fact that four people were sitting in the snow, one of them holding his own decapitated head in his hands. He knew those people.

They were the soldiers he had gotten a brief glance of when he first found Vaarsuvius in the throws of a vision.

A sharp intake of air next to him alerted him to the fact that his lover had stood up and looked out the window to see what was wrong.

Redcloak spun around and stepped so that his body covered the window, taking Vaarsuvius’s arm gently. “Go back to the fire. We should have something to eat.”

“I… they…”

“Vaarsuvius, it’s just an illusion. It can’t hurt you if you don’t let it.” He gently yet firmly tugged the elf to the fire again. “Sit down—we should have some food in our packs.”

The elf paused, then numbly nodded, passively allowing the goblin to lead the way back to the fire.

Redcloak did his best to not wonder about the significance of the soldiers. He had just resolved a mere moment before to push Vaarsuvius away, and he knew well enough how private the elf was. It was a small miracle that his lover had been able to mention the trauma of finding someone hanging themselves, even after all they had been through. After everything that they both had suffered, the last thing he wanted was to make Vaarsuvius feel more afraid and insecure about him.

He opened up their packs and pulled out an apple, giving it to the elf. “There isn’t much to eat left, but I think I can make something a little more substantial. I’ll cover up the windows first—all the warm air is leaking out.”

Vaarsuvius nodded in thanks, understanding the favor the goblin was doing, eyes fixed on something in the fire that Redcloak could not see, and bit into the apple. The goblin stood up, pulling their blankets from their packs and using them to cover the windows. It wasn’t like they would need them that night. The bed they had stumbled on had a perfectly suitable one.

Redcloak used what little they had to cook for both of them. He had to coax Vaarsuvius to finish it off, noting with worry that his lover looked even more ashen than usual. The fact that the elf was sick niggled at him, and he had the sense that he would know what was wrong if he only looked closer at the symptoms. Dizzy spells, abdomable pain, unusual sensitivity in the breasts (he had noticed that easily)…

“Redcloak, what happens if they attack us?”

He was pulled out of his train of thought and looked at the elf curiously.

“Of course we both have spells, but they are creatures made from the very world around us. We cannot run through the snow and hope to escape, and if we vanquish them, more will come.”

“I don’t think they’re there to attack us.” Redcloak pushed his empty plate to the side, leaning forward a little and adding some wood to the fire. “They’re there to make us afraid. That’s what this place depends on. Fear, pain, and desire. Admittedly, it seems to be focusing mostly on pain and fear for us, but there’s probably a reason for that.”

The elf nodded silently, staring at the flames.

“Vaarsuvius, why are they haunting you?”

Redcloak knew that he shouldn’t ask. Vaarsuvius knew it too.

The elf looked up at him, expression difficult to read.

“I know that they’re what you have nightmares about. I know that their… I don’t know, presence has been following us since the start. I know that they mean something.” He tentatively reached out, brushing a strand of hair back from Vaarsuvius’s face and behind a pointy ear. “Why?”

There was a long silence.

“Redcloak, I do not wish to speak of this.”

He shouldn’t push his luck. He really shouldn’t.

The goblin lightly stroked the elf’s cheek, frowning. “Vaarsuvius, this has been plaguing you since before we met.” He hesitated briefly. “I don’t like seeing you tormented like this.”

Vaarsuvius shook a small head. “There is nothing you can do to help, Redcloak.”

“How do I know unless you tell me?”

The elf was very, very quiet for a while. Redcloak wondered for a moment if he had offended his lover, but if he had, he would have been slapped for his troubles. “During the battle…” Vaarsuvius paused, closing violet eyes and taking a deep breath. Redcloak had to stifle a small jerk of surprise—he hadn’t expected his lover to open up. Then again, maybe that was what was needed. “During the battle at Azure City, I ran out of spells. I did not see anything else I could do to assist. I fled.” The elf undid the purple ponytail slowly, letting the long wild hair hang loosely. Redcloak listened carefully, fully aware of the likelihood that he was the only one that Vaarsuvius had trusted with this information. “I was invisible. A group of soldiers crashed into me and correctly assumed that I was the elven wizard that had been assisting in the battle.”

The elf stopped dead, lips pursed until they were white. Redcloak tentatively touched Vaarsuvius’s hand, doubtful that the contact would be appreciated. Vaarsuvius grasped the offered hand tightly.

“They begged me to save them. I could not. They were slaughtered.”

Vaarsuvius was completely silent for a moment, face grim, muscles stiff. Redcloak wasn’t quite sure how to deal with it, so he settled with squeezing the small hand in his gasp and nuzzling the slender neck gently.

“For all my power, I could not save them.”

Redcloak politely pretended to not notice the suspicious glassiness in the elf’s eyes. Vaarsuvius shook a pale head, regaining the aloof and unconcerned mask that had been cracking more and more since they entered the dungeon.

“But, of course, logically, I did what I should have. I can only take the experience as a lesson. I will not make such mistakes again. It is rather pointless that you insisted on me talking about it at all—it is in the past.”

The goblin didn’t point out the tremors going up and down the elf’s body. He didn’t point out the barely contained wetness in violet eyes. He didn’t point out how fragile the tiny creature suddenly seemed, how it looked like, with all the demons the dungeon had forced upon the fiery mage, the seams were coming undone.

He simply slipped his arm around the elf’s waist, murmuring something softly in Goblin and nuzzling a slender neck.

Vaarsuvius leaned into his touches, satisfied with not having to show how deeply the deaths of the soldiers had imprinted themselves on the elf. Their fingers stayed intertwined. They leaned towards each other, touching lips tenderly before resting their foreheads against one another.

“No matter how many reasons are presented to us, we continue to nurse our relationship. Why is that, Redcloak?” Vaarsuvius murmured softly, voice weighed down by despair and pain that the mage would never admit to. It felt like something heavy was just taken off the thin shoulders, but all that was left was a very tired elf.

“We work out well together.” A slightly subdued smile flickered over Redcloak’s lips. “If it hadn’t been for the alignment and species differences, I think we could have been really happy with each other.”

“I believe so as well.” Vaarsuvius lightly fingered Redcloak’s cheek. “I would have been willing to work past both obstacles under different circumstances.”

“Under different circumstances.” Redcloak smiled, eyes dim. “But it’s pointless to speculate about different circumstances. These are the ones we have.”

“Indeed they are.”

They looked at the fire, leaning against each other, the goblin subtly trying to think of a way to ease his partner’s distress and the nightmares that would obviously descend that night. Redcloak reached up absently, running his fingers through the elf’s loose hair. His nails lightly brushed against pointy ears, sending tangible tremors through his lover’s body.

Vaarsuvius let out a low warble, turning a small head to kiss Redcloak softly. The goblin easily moved so that they were in a more comfortable position and started stroking the ears firmly.

The elf let out a soft gasp, crawling closer to the goblin, tilting a pale head and exposing a slender neck, showing off the trust they had unwisely built between each other. Redcloak’s teeth were sharp and strong enough to rip the elf’s exposed throat open before so much as a scream could be uttered.

With a satisfied growl deep in his chest, Redcloak leaned forward, nuzzling and kissing his lover’s neck while continuing to massage the pointed ears. Vaarsuvius let out another warble, pawing at their clothes.

Redcloak had no intention of taking anything off. Vaarsuvius wasn’t in the right state of mind to consent, and the goblin would feel too much like he was taking advantage of his lover, regardless of what the elf did or didn’t want. He made no movement to encourage Vaarsuvius, instead continuing to kiss a slender neck and stroke the pointed ears. His lover’s face flushed and the tiny body started to tremble, delicate arms slipping around the goblin’s neck. “Redcloak…”

The goblin kissed the elf gently, letting out a gentle purr, and continued his ministrations. Vaarsuvius breathed heavily, body heating up, odd sounds that the mage would normally never utter falling from slightly swollen lips.

It was only a small while of ear stroking until the elf stiffened against the goblin, letting out a soft cry before burying a flushed face in a green neck, gasping a long stream of breathless Elven, and going limp after a moment of intensity.

Vaarsuvius breathed heavily, chest heaving, and violet eyes were glazed over with afterglow. Redcloak gently picked his lover up, carrying the tiny and compliant body to the bed, wrapping the little elf in the covers.

The mage shifted, looking up at the goblin, unable to muster up the strength to be peeved when the elf realized what the cleric’s intentions had been. “Manipulative beast.”

“I didn’t want you to have any nightmares. I just made sure that your brain let out all the chemicals it needed to be happy for now.” Redcloak smiled amusedly, unclasping his cloak. “And at least one of us needs our strength in case we’re attacked in the middle of the night, so I figured that we should hold off on using up energy with sex.”

He pulled off his armor, carefully putting it next to the bed and climbing under the covers, wrapping his arms around his lover’s waist and pressing up against a small back. Redcloak lovingly brushed his lips against the elf’s temple, provoking a satisfied ‘mmm.’

“Next time you attempt a trick like this, I shall be forced to use my not-inconsiderable arcane might against you.”

“I’m sure you will be.” Redcloak rested his head on a pillow, smiling and lightly stroking his lover’s abdomen. He murmured a few words softly in Goblin, nuzzling the elf’s hair and sighing in contentment. “I love you.”

“What does that mean, Redcloak? You know that I do not understand Goblin.”

Redcloak kissed Vaarsuvius’s neck gently. “It was an affectionate way of saying goodnight.”

“Oh.” Vaarsuvius lightly fingered the goblin’s hand. “Good night, Redcloak.” A smile flickered over the elf’s lips. “I would use a more affectionate term, but Common does not provide one and Elven has no words that would fit.”

“That’s alright.” The goblin smiled wistfully, tightening his grip only a little. “Good night.”

Vaarsuvius smiled faintly and slipped into a satisfied trance, still bathing in afterglow. Redcloak fell asleep soon afterwards.

Know what I've retroactively realised this reminds me of? The scene in Raiders of the Lost Ark where Marion keeps trying to hug Indy, but he keeps brushing her off because he's in too much pain. She asks him where she can kiss him, and he immediately offers his elbow. Very sweet on both counts.

[CoffeeIncluded]

Wait, Water-smurf, I have a question about what you wrote a couple of pages back.



Vaarsuvius's sense of sex is that it's something that other people take pleasure from, but not her. Her first time was basically rape. Her next few times with Inkyrius were basically what she did when Kyrie was really trying to instigate something. She did it entirely because Inkyrius wanted the intimacy that sex incites, and she felt uncomfortable the whole time. (Her first, ah, 'high point' probably came with Reddy.)

Redcloak has unwittingly turned her perceptions of sex upside-down. Suddenly, she really enjoys it too. She isn't shying away from intimacy anymore. She likes the idea of making love with him, though her fear of love forces her to think of it as only sex. If she doesn't refer to it as 'making love,' she can shrug it off as being the product of her heretofore latent sex-drive suddenly making an appearance and Redcloak and herself just being very compatible sexually. After all, neither of them are in this physical relationship for love. It's for pleasure and lust and only that.

Reddy has shattered her justifications by accident because of the fact that he did something only for her pleasure and peace of mind without asking for any sexual favors in return. He received no physical pleasure from it. She was the only one who benefited. He proved that it's not about lust, at least for him. He also proved that it's possible for sex to be a purely pleasurable, intimate, and loving act without the fear and anxiety she sometimes gets with being entered. It has become something of love and intimacy, not passion and pleasure.

The significance of this hasn't hit her yet, but it will.



...Something here doesn't make sense. We know that Kyrie is a good person, and in all likelihood wants V to get pleasure from sex as well. So my question is: Why would Kyrie have never tried the ear thing with V? To be honest, that doesn't make much sense to me.

[Water-Smurf]

Never heard of that last one. What's Gargoyles? :smallconfused:

It's probably one of the best shows Disney's ever written. (Seriously--it has a dark, adult tone, the characters are developed, the storyline's complex... I'd suggest it to anyone.) It's about these creatures that look like living gargoyles--they have sharp teeth and horns and wings and everything--and at dawn they turn to stone, while at dusk they turn back to living flesh.

The Magus is an advisor to Princess Katherine of Scotland in 990 CE and a powerful sorcerer. (Oh, and he happens to be in one-sided love with the princess.) Through a series of events I'm not going to go into, he thought that the princess was murdered and the titular gargoyles are to blame. In short, he turned them into stone until 'the castle rises above the clouds.' Then he finds out the princess is alive. Then he can't undo the spell because someone had taken the page with the counterspell out of his book. Ever since then, he's been atoning for his mistake.


And out of interest, are you still planning on writing a V/Aandy story? :smalltongue:

I'm still trying to figure it out.

I dunno. Maybe the elven culture is a little like the ancient Greek one? As in, relationships between adults and children/mentors and students are acceptable? (I could be totally wrong about the ancient Greek culture. I just know about their myths.)


...Something here doesn't make sense. We know that Kyrie is a good person, and in all likelihood wants V to get pleasure from sex as well. So my question is: Why would Kyrie have never tried the ear thing with V? To be honest, that doesn't make much sense to me.

Of course Kyrie would want V to enjoy it as much as s/he does. I never meant to cast a negative light on hir--s/he's obviously a very loving spouse and parent, though s/he may not be a perfect match for V.

And s/he probably did try the ear thing, but probably never without the context of sex already happening. Sometimes people don't touch right or maybe V was just too uncomfortable with what was going on to really enjoy anything Kyrie did, no matter how pleasurable under more relaxed circumstances.

Sometimes people just aren't compatible sexually. Either way, it didn't matter what Inkyrius tried: Vaarsuvius didn't enjoy any physical intimacy.

(Which all probably made Inkyrius really sore when s/he found out that V had banged Reddy so much that a protection spell failed and she got pregnant while they were still technically married.)

[CoffeeIncluded]

Of course Kyrie would want V to enjoy it as much as s/he does. I never meant to cast a negative light on hir--s/he's obviously a very loving spouse and parent, though s/he may not be a perfect match for V.

And s/he probably did try the ear thing, but probably never without the context of sex already happening. Sometimes people don't touch right or maybe V was just too uncomfortable with what was going on to really enjoy anything Kyrie did, no matter how pleasurable under more relaxed circumstances.

Sometimes people just aren't compatible sexually. Either way, it didn't matter what Inkyrius tried: Vaarsuvius didn't enjoy any physical intimacy.

(Which all probably made Inkyrius really sore when s/he found out that V had banged Reddy so much that a protection spell failed and she got pregnant while they were still technically married.)

See, that's what I thought.

And I think "really sore" is an understatement.

[ClericOfBelker]

IMHO, yes, because Polygamy is about spreading your love among many rather than limiting it to one person, but only if your partners agree. I don't think many LG people would be willing to cheat, however, and the act of cheating is definitely not LG(E, probably CE).

I also recommend the BoEF for further thoughts on alignments and sex, it's a very good sourcebook in that regard.

IMHO? BoEF? Mind shedding some light on what these stand for? :smallannoyed:

[The Dark Fiddler]

IMHO? BoEF? Mind shedding some light on what these stand for? :smallannoyed:

IMHO = In My Honest Opinion

BoEF = Book of Erotic Fantasy, a third part 3.5 book about D&D sex.

[CoffeeIncluded]

BoEF = Book of Erotic Fantasy, a third part 3.5 book about D&D sex.

...Should that be the bible of the Crack Pairings Thread? :smalltongue:

[Water-Smurf]

And I think "really sore" is an understatement.

Definitely. That's part of the reason Inky has to really struggle with hir feelings about Tiasal. S/he's fully aware that she did nothing wrong by being born, but s/he is also fully aware of what her existence means about V and Redcloak, as well as hir relationship/marriage with Vaarsuvius.



BoEF = Book of Erotic Fantasy, a third part 3.5 book about D&D sex.

...What.

They actually have a book like that? Huh. I'm going to need to get it. How does sex have any effect on alignment, though? (Outside of, you know, rape being an evil act.)

[CoffeeIncluded]

So do you think Kyrie is male or female? I always saw Kyrie as male. Still unsure on V though.

And shameless promotion time: http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=133565

[Zanaril]

I'm still trying to figure it out.

I dunno. Maybe the elven culture is a little like the ancient Greek one? As in, relationships between adults and children/mentors and students are acceptable? (I could be totally wrong about the ancient Greek culture. I just know about their myths.)

It's plausable that their long life expectancy would mean that age gaps don't matter so much, even if your counting in elf years not human years. They can dawdle around for decade or two without the pressure of impending old age. That would stop them feeling like they had to start looking for a mate/starting a family as soon as they could, therefore leaving a lot of elves of widely varying age who are all single. :smalltongue:

As for student/teacher relationships... I'm not entirely sure. It wouldn't be that much of a stretch for their culture to be more lenient about it, especially in a more close-knit community. But then again, that could also make it less acceptable...


So do you think Kyrie is male or female? I always saw Kyrie as male. Still unsure on V though.

And shameless promotion time: http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=133565

I'm gonna go with male too. And nice comic. :smallsmile:

V's gender depends on whether I want to read/write het or slash.

[CoffeeIncluded]

Heh, thanks. What do you like about it?

[Aaron]

...Should that be the bible of the Crack Pairings Thread? :smalltongue:

Yes!!! Definitely!:smallbiggrin: It must be our bible!:smallwink:

[Sstoopidtallkid]

...What.

They actually have a book like that? Huh. I'm going to need to get it. How does sex have any effect on alignment, though? (Outside of, you know, rape being an evil act.)It doesn't, but it has a good analysis on how people of the various alignments might view sex, including an example LG Paladin going through a 1-night stand, and a similar analysis of species' beliefs. It's a far better alignment discussion than anything I've seen out of WotC. It also has a variety of useful rules(pregnancy and polymorph, halfbreeds, new uses for spells, etc) and mechanics that would make WotC proud(decent classes, but PrCs range from useless to awesome to broken) interesting items, new spells, and a lot of other interesting stuff. Also atrocious art, but that's what sticky notes are for.

[Water-Smurf]

So do you think Kyrie is male or female? I always saw Kyrie as male. Still unsure on V though.

I've always thought of Kyrie as female, but s/he's probably going to be male for the story. I'm still not sure that I'm going to make a definitive statement about it.


It's plausable that their long life expectancy would mean that age gaps don't matter so much, even if your counting in elf years not human years. They can dawdle around for decade or two without the pressure of impending old age. That would stop them feeling like they had to start looking for a mate/starting a family as soon as they could, therefore leaving a lot of elves of widely varying age who are all single. :smalltongue:

As for student/teacher relationships... I'm not entirely sure. It wouldn't be that much of a stretch for their culture to be more lenient about it, especially in a more close-knit community. But then again, that could also make it less acceptable...

I can't help but feel that making up a weird cultural thing about it would be contrived. And my idea of Aandy makes him too loving and self-disciplined to do anything he thinks could hurt Vaarsuvius.

I guess it doesn't necessarily need to be feelings that are acted on, but then it'd be awkward...

But anyway, here's another chapter.

“An adventurer party is passing through the field? Seriously? There’s nothing here!”

“Nothing except easy passage to some of the more active adventuring areas. And Tiasal…” A frustrated sigh. “Belkar, you know what it’s like. You know what we need to do. You see green skin and you immediately think ‘XP.’ You don’t think about whether or not it’s a kid. You don’t think about whether or not there’s a threat.”

“I don’t see the problem here.”

“Adventurers who don’t seem too sympathetic towards goblins want to shack up in our place tonight. Roy, Durkon, and Elan have already gone to see if they can pick up any sign of Xykon in the last city he was seen in. You, Abram, Aarindarius, and I are the only ones here who don’t look like walking XP. I’m not letting my son get involved with this, so that leaves you, Aarindarius, and me. They’re going to treat Tia like they treat any other goblin, Belkar.”

“Well we can fix that easily. I’ve been needing a new chip bowl.”

“Belkar!” A frustrated growling and teeth-grinding noise. “No killing random adventurers! Besides, they’re mid-level. We can handle them easily, sure, but they’re still a threat. They want to stay here for the night, and they’re apparently working for some king or other. If they disappear mysteriously before meeting up with the entourage waiting for them in the mountains, the king will get suspicious and we’ll be investigated. We can make this easy. You’re going to make sure that Tia stays in bed and no one goes into her room. Aarindarius is going to act as my husband. Abram is going to be a boy we hired to help take care of the place.”

“This seems needlessly complicated.”

“When you’re hiding things, the more lies you tell, the better. Rule of thumb in the rogue’s handbook.” Her voice dropped to an annoyed growl. “And besides: they seem to keep much better control of their hands when my ‘husband’ is in the room.” Her voice went up again. “Can I trust you to take care of Tia?”

“I still don’t see the point to this.”

“Belkar, she’s not an adventurer. She’s a little kid with green skin. I don’t want her hurt.”

“You think I do?” There was a shuffling sound. “Keep your pants on. I’ll make sure she stays intact.”

Her door creaked open, then shut quietly. Tiasal pretended she was asleep. There were the gentle taps of bare feet against the wooden floor. A hand, so light that she could have imagined it, brushed against her shoulder. The chair under her window groaned as someone sat in it, and through the cracks between her eyelids, she saw a blade gleam in her uncle’s lap, his hand loosely wrapped around the hilt. He maintained his vigil all night.

---

Molten gold eyes snapped open for the first time in nearly sixteen years. Lungs inflated with stale dungeon air, shuddering with coughs. The aged human cleric stepped away slowly from the bed, hobbling just a little, then dipped his head to Xykon. “I must attend to my children, my lord.”

“Sure, sure, whatever.”

Xykon leaned forward, ignoring the frozen Teevo screen and just staring at the disoriented goblin on the bed as the aged cleric left the room.

“Welcome back to the land of the living and unliving.”

Redcloak looked up blindly at Xykon, eyes wide, mouth opened slightly as if to speak. “…!”

“What, cat got your tongue? Did you miss me, Reddy? Aw, I knew you cared.”

Redcloak swallowed, blinking and rubbing his eyes hard.

“Are you going to talk? Because I’m seriously starting to think that there is something up with your genes. Is muteness inherited? Well, actually, that would mean that you’ve always been mute. Alright, then. Maybe it’s a recessive gene? Or maybe you inherit it retroactively from your kids.”

“Xykon… why am I here?”

Redcloak rubbed his temples, sitting forward slowly, his bones letting out audible cracks with this new movement. He turned a little, his eyes focusing on the lich, the lich that had taken his niece, nephews, sister-in-law, brother, wife, daughter, and life from him.

His face took on an ugly look of hatred.

“Why am I here, Xykon?”

“Ooh, looks like I got Daddy angry. I’d better blame the mess on the dog.” Xykon stood up, a smirk radiating from his frozen face, and sauntered closer to the newly-resurrected goblin. “Oh, Reddy. Can’t I resurrect you just to get caught up on old times? And, you know, have a high-level cleric hanging around who knows some ancient rituals I need to have in order to get control of a deicidal abomination?”

“I don’t work with you anymore.” Redcloak stood up sharply from his bed, knees buckling slightly, but he was able to lean his weight on the wall easily. He closed his eyes, face creasing with inner frustration and pain. “I should have cut you off long ago. Too many people have been lost because of me not being able to face the meaninglessness of their deaths. Too many people I love are gone. But Vaarsuvius…” His shoulders tensed, red magic flaring at his hands. “Vaarsuvius. Vaarsuvius was the last straw. There’s nothing more to take away, Xykon. You’ve done everything you can do. Soulbind me again if you want. The rifts aren’t there anymore. You can’t hold Vaarsuvius’s soul or my own over my head.”

He opened molten eyes again. “There’s nothing more.”

Xykon took a moment to contemplate the goblin in front of him, his head tilted slightly. “Oh, Reddy. It’s only a failure of imagination on your part to say that I can’t do anything more.”

His frozen grin seemed to stretch. “Sure, you’re speeches are overwrought and self-righteous as ever, but I gotta say, that whore’s death made you grow a pair big time. Or maybe it was something else that did that. Hey, how much do you remember from being stuck in my bauble?”

Redcloak’s angry expression morphed into one of confusion. He had expected a reminder of his brother. Maybe an empty threat towards Vaarsuvius. Not total flippancy. “…Just that it’s been a very long time.”

“Okay. Come on upstairs—the Necromancer chick is still around. And she still hates you. I love conflict! But you two are going to have to keep a lid on it until after we talk about everything you missed.”

Redcloak blinked, unsure if he should be indignant or confused and settling on a combination of both. “Xykon, did you hear a word I just said?”

“Oh, yeah. But I don’t think that you meant any of it. That’d just be stupid of you.”

The goblin’s brow furrowed, muscles tightening in fury. “I don’t work f—”

“I have your daughter.”

Redcloak froze mid-word.

“She’s surprisingly animate for a stillborn.”

There was a long silence. Redcloak jerked slightly, shaking his head and frowning. “Xykon, she was stillborn. I know you’re trying to see if I lied to you, but I was honest when I said that.”

His ears were stiff his face imperceptibly grim. He was gambling in hope.

Xykon’s frozen grin darkened. “You have some serious balls to be lying to me now, bitch.”

“I’m not lying.” But Redcloak’s complexion paled considerably. This wasn’t a trick. He knew it wasn’t.

“Either you’re lying or we stumbled on some other green-skinned, purple-haired, purple-eyed half-breed who knows who you, your whore, and I are.” He crossed his arms, shrugging. “But whatever. If she’s not yours, then I’m sure you won’t mind me locking her outside and watching her freeze to death. I’ve been wondering what color goblin half-breeds turn when they get cold.”

Redcloak’s breath caught in his throat. Xykon leaned forward, their faces a mere hair apart. “So, Reddy, was your kid stillborn?”

“…” Redcloak swallowed hard, eyes wide. “Please don’t hurt her.”

“Oh, Reddy. You’re so spineless.” Xykon straightened, glare boring deep into the goblin to the point that Redcloak could actually feel heat from it. “You cheeky little bastard. You thought that I wouldn’t find out about your little brat? I’ll admit that those adventurer guys were effective at hiding her for a while, but we both have time to find out secrets, don’t we?”

“Have you done something to my daughter?”

Xykon leaned forward again, hot red gems inches away from gold eyes. “What if I did?”

Redcloak’s eyes became molten. His muscles went tight. His sharp teeth were bared. His claws stretched out. “I swear, if you’ve hurt her at all, I’m going to—”

“What? You’re going to what?” Xykon placed his hands firmly on the goblin’s chest, careful to not touch bare skin—it wouldn’t do for Redcloak to be paralyzed—and shoved him back on the bed with bruising force, almost breaking the furniture and the goblin’s bones. “Guess what, bitch—you’re just as powerless now as ever.”

The lich let out a hollow laugh. “What are you going to try to do? Try to kill me with your lack of spells and levels? Go on another one of your whiny, self-righteous tirades? You have nothing. No power, no knowledge, and no leverage. I have everything. I have epic levels, countless minions swarming this tower, and your little brat. I’m sure Tsukiko wouldn’t mind being put in charge of the kid’s care.”

Redcloak paled again.

“And here you are, willing to stand up to me for the sake of some little brat that you haven’t seen in fifteen years.”

“Fifteen years?” Redcloak’s face paled further, eyes going wide. “My daughter’s fifteen years old?”

“Oh gods, spare me the annoying parental angst.” Xykon threw up his hands. “Yes, she’s fifteen years old. The nifty thing about having elf blood is that you age really freaking slowly, apparently. She looks like she’s eight. Doesn’t act like it, though. It’s kind of creepy, if you ask me. I’m not complaining, but she’s one frikkin’ creepy kid. Are we going to go and get you caught up on what you need to do now that you’re alive again now?”

Redcloak’s eyes drifted down to the necklace still worn by the lich, fixated on the sparkling sapphires taunting him. He took a tight grip of the fear within, drawing on the surety that his elf was near. He could be brave for his daughter’s sake. “I want to see Tiasal. I want to see my daughter.”

Xykon slowly straightened again, backing away, his frozen expression turning back into a macabre smile and a hollow chuckle reverberating from his empty ribcage. “Yeah. You want to see your daughter. You might not like what you see, Reddy. Or vice-versa.”

Redcloak swallowed hard, finally dropping any pretense that he had a choice in this matter. He let his eyes linger on the sapphire holding the soul of Vaarsuvius, giving a silent apology. He would find a way to be with his lover again, but he had to admit that it would still be a long time until he could figure out how to do that while keeping Tiasal safe. His heart ached for the familiar elven presence, the delicate fingers intertwined with his. He wanted Vaarsuvius back. He wanted Tiasal back. He just wanted to be allowed to have his family and for Xykon to never threaten them again.

But that wasn’t possible.

“I want to see my daughter, Lord Xykon. Please.”

Xykon paused, then relaxed, mollified by the obvious admission of defeat. “Well, who am I to deny a deadbeat dad the right to see his little love child? We’ll make an event of it—we got a new hire while you went missing who I’m sure you’ll be really interested in meeting. And the Necromancer chick’s gotten older. Maybe you can start sleeping with her or something; she’s a better pick than your whore at any rate.”

Redcloak stifled his bristling at the insult towards his absent wife. (Wife? Well, they hadn’t married, but it felt like they had all the same.) “I doubt it, Lord Xykon.”

“You’re probably right. You had a better chance as a skeleton.” Xykon pointed at the door. “I’ll go tell the Necromancer chick to get everyone upstairs. Hurry up—wouldn’t want to keep your little girl up past her bedtime, would you?”

Redcloak could hear an underlying threat there, but he wasn’t quite sure what Xykon was threatening. He had no intention of trying to find out, though.

He quietly prayed to the Dark One for his daughter’s and lover’s safety and quietly followed his leader out the door.

Thoughts?

[CoffeeIncluded]

Aww, it's so short! But I like it anyways.

Just one thing: Reddy's soul had to consent to being raised...In these circumstances, why would he?

[The Dark Fiddler]

Maybe it happened to quickly for him to deny?

[Lira]

Why Redcloak consented to being raised, quoted from the previous chapter:

The cleric stooped a little further, frowning darkly. “What makes you believe that I can resurrect him, my lord? The soul needs to be willing to return to the body.”

“Reddy’s not going to want to hang too much around the afterlife. Probably worried about getting gang-beaten by his family. And he’s still got things to do, deicidal abominations to enslave, and stillborn children to take care of. Oh, and he also needs to figure out how to release his whore’s soul.”

[CoffeeIncluded]

Ah, thanks.

[Dark_Stryke]

Water-Smurf:I liked it, but seeing Xykon call Redcloak "bitch" is still a little jarring. I know that he said it in SoD, but from what I gather it was only once? Having him say it to Reddy every other paragraph just seems weird.

It's only a minor complaint. Other than that it was of the same high quality I've come to enjoy in all your other chapters.

[Kill Screen]

I know I'm a bit new here--but I've recently read the ongoing story and I've liked it so far :smallsmile:
...It's not my typical shipping, but I still like it.

Even though I do agree with the poster above--that was a bit jarring, but I still like it.
I hope the next chapter is just as good ^^

[DarkElfGangsta]

wow. this is just amazing so far. how are do you manage to outdo yourself every time you post a story?!

[Dark_Stryke]

I know I'm a bit new here--but I've recently read the ongoing story and I've liked it so far :smallsmile:
...It's not my typical shipping, but I still like it.

Even though I do agree with the poster above--that was a bit jarring, but I still like it.
I hope the next chapter is just as good ^^

Ah, but there's so much more to read. Like my two chapters located on pages 5 and 7 of this thread. Shameless self-promotion? Whatever do you mean?.

On a related note, how would I go about getting Lira to include the name of my story ("Not for Everyone") on the main index... thingy? Private Message? Or will her all-seeing gaze find the request in this very post? Does she see all? Is she watching me right now?!

[Kill Screen]

Ah, but there's so much more to read. Like my two chapters located on pages 5 and 7 of this thread. Shameless self-promotion? Whatever do you mean?.

I liked it, it was very well written--of course, RoyxMiko is one of my base ships...
Except I like VxMiko better, but hey, everyone's got their prefrences.
XD So yeah--I might put a bit of my main ship Oh noes, self promotion, Kill Screen, you really don't mean you're going to put...BelkarxHaley on here, because no one else did? Yes, yes it does. *shot for her self-promotion* So yeah. XD

[Silverraptor]

Welcome Kill Screen!

If your looking around for past stories, people say my Inkyrius one is a classic for some reason.

[Peanut Gallery]

What reason did Xykon have for not doing as he threatened in the comic and just giving the Dark One's red-cloak to a random hobgoblin? Or did he attempt that and failed to control the "new guy"?
Actually come to think of it, I can't remember if it was mentioned if Redcloak even has that artifact anymore. Luckily for him I'm guessing that his age wouldn't retroactively be applied. Poor fellow would probably die of old age on the spot.

[Silverraptor]

What reason did Xykon have for not doing as he threatened in the comic and just giving the Dark One's red-cloak to a random hobgoblin? Or did he attempt that and failed to control the "new guy"?
Actually come to think of it, I can't remember if it was mentioned if Redcloak even has that artifact anymore. Luckily for him I'm guessing that his age wouldn't retroactively be applied. Poor fellow would probably die of old age on the spot.

:confused:

This post confuses me on multiple levels. Let me try to decipher it quickly before I'm shunted off to bed.

1) Redcloak does have the artifact. That is why he is called "Redcloak" Crimson Mantel: Redcloak. See the reference?
2) I would suspect is the reason of.

a) The guy is currently dead and needs to be raised before said artifact will work.
b) Redcloak is the strongest of all the other clerics in the immediate area and serves best under implementing "The Plan" as described in SoD why he is important.

Now I hope I covered everything.

[Dark_Stryke]

I liked it, it was very well written--of course, RoyxMiko is one of my base ships...
Except I like VxMiko better, but hey, everyone's got their prefrences.
XD So yeah--I might put a bit of my main ship Oh noes, self promotion, Kill Screen, you really don't mean you're going to put...BelkarxHaley on here, because no one else did? Yes, yes it does. *shot for her self-promotion* So yeah. XD

Thanks much. I'd say go ahead and write your story. You don't have to be the next Tolkien for us to get some enjoyment out of it.

That said, it's time for...

Chapter 3: A Start (Now with 90% more bold font in the title*)

Roy suddenly found himself at a loss for what to do. He stared at Miko, dumbfounded, mouth hanging open in shock. Slowly, painstakingly, he peeled his eyes from the crying woman and turned his head towards Smilin' Pete. The kindhearted proprietor seemed equally at a loss, and spread his arms in a gesture of helplessness when his gaze met Roy's.

Roy sighed and climbed to his feet. "I suppose you expect me to fix this?" He grumbled, gesturing dismissively towards Miko.

Pete coughed a little nervously. "Weellll, it'd be nice of you not to leave a girl crying on my floor after completely trashing my bar."

"It would be the good thing to do." Roy's Archon added dryly.

Roy let out another long-suffering sigh. "Fine. But I'm writing a complaint to whoever's in charge. My version of paradise does not include Miko Miyazaki." With that, he took three quick strides to the still prone and weeping woman and very pointedly kicked her short sword away from her. He cleared his throat. "Hey, Miko, knock it off. Your whining is completely killing the atmosphere here."

His remark simply redoubled the force of her bawling. "L-leave me alone, G-Greenhilt," She sobbed. "Y-you've already h-hurt me enough."

Remembering how her sword cleaved through Lord Shojo, Roy was having a hard time drumming up any sympathy. "Yeah, well, the bartender wants you out, and he thinks I owe it to him to do it. So don't make me drag your ass out of here."

"Why must you continue to torture me so?!" Miko wailed, punctuating it by slamming a fist onto the ground and splintering a floorboard. "You are worse than your despicable halfling!"

The reply took Roy aback. He suddenly realized what he was doing. Here was a person who, for whatever reason, was now at her worst. Instead of being the grownup he claimed to be, he had continued to needle her, and why? Because she was Miko, and he hated her? How petty could he get? Not thirty seconds ago he had declared that he was done playing games with her, but as soon as he saw an opening he just went right back to clawing at her. She had just compared him unfavorably to Belkar. "Oh my Gods, I'm turning into some horrible cross between Belkar and my father." He breathed, aghast. He had to do something about this.

"Miko, I can't believe I'm saying this, but you're right. I'm behaving worse than Belkar." His only response was more wracking sobs. "In fact, I think I owe you an apology." She let out a startled sniffle, continuing to cry. "I'm sorry for doing this to you. Let me fix it." He offered her his hand as he spoke.

Miko spread her fingers slightly and glared at him through red-rimmed eyes. He could see tearstains covering her cheeks. She sniffled again.

"Come on, Miko, I'm trying to trust you here, but that has to go both ways. Will you admit that you didn't trust me enough to take my hand after I trusted you enough to offer it?" He asked, extending his hand just a little closer to her. A part of him hoped she would simply spurn his attempts to make amends, so he could just walk away secure in the knowledge that he had at least tried to be the bigger person.

To his disappointment, Miko simply sniffled loudly and grabbed his hand. He helped her get to her feet, and she quickly let go of his hand as if burned. "There." He said, trying to force a smile but not nearly managing to pull it off.

Miko wiped her nose with the back of her sleeve in a decidedly undignified manner. "So what happens now?" She asked sullenly.

Roy bit his lip, nervously scratching the back of his head. "To be honest, I hadn't thought this far ahead yet."

"How about a table and some drinks?" Pete interjected. "You two look like you have a lot to talk about."

"I..." Roy glanced at Miko, who glanced back at Roy. He couldn't say no. That would make him look like a hypocrite. He realized that she couldn't say no either, because that would make her look like she was too weak to take the high road, at least in her own mind. Roy had to force the next words through his teeth. "Yes... Pete, that sounds... wonderful. Miko?"

"Of course, Greenhilt. I would be... hon - no - deli - er - I'd like to stay." Miko replied, stumbling lamely over her words.

"Great. Everything is great." Roy said, mentally kicking himself. Why did he have to be the bigger person? Why did the barkeep have to open his mouth? "How about we sit at this table?" He gestured at one that had remained relatively untouched throughout the fight. Miko nodded at him, and he walked over to it, feet dragging. At the last second he remembered he was supposed to be a gentleman and pulled out Miko's chair for her.

Miko stared at the offered chair as if it might leap up and bite her, eyes flickering wildly from the chair to Roy. Eventually, she seemed to come to a decision and sat in the chair as carefully and slowly as she could manage, as if she were afraid that Roy was going to yank it out from under her at the last second. It was a fair precaution. Roy had been sorely tempted to do it.

Roy walked around the table and sat in the chair opposite of Miko. She was staring rather pointedly at her hands, blinking away the last of her tears. Roy swallowed, unsure of what to say or do next. Fortunately, Pete came to the rescue. "Mr. Greenhilt? What will you be drinking this evening?" The barkeep called, his cheerful voice sounding the slightest bit forced.

"Ah, Dwarven Ale, please." Roy called back.

"Of course. And for the lady?"

"S-sake." Miko answered.

In short order Pete had produced a foaming tankard for Roy, and a wine glass full of clear liquid for Miko. Roy took a long gulp of the brew as Pete scurried off behind the bar and through a door, trying to stave off talking for as long as possible. As he set the drink down, Miko picked hers up, apparently trying not to be the first one to talk. She took a dainty sip and blanched. "Ugh, that is foul." She said. "The barkeep must have screwed up again."

Roy reached over for her glass. "Mind if I try?" He asked, trying to maintain at least a veneer of courtesy. She shrugged and offered it to him. He took a quick sip of the bitter rice alcohol. He set the glass down, shrugged, and slid the drink back across the table to Miko. "Tastes like sake. Really dry, kind of bitter. What's wrong with it?"

Miko's eyes flashed dangerously. "What is wrong with it?" She asked incredulously. "It is Azure City's national drink! It cannot taste like that! It is an affront to my beloved homeland!"

Roy looked back at her quizzically. "Well, it's not my favorite or anything, but you Azurites seem to suck it down pretty fast. But this stuff tastes just like all the other sake I've drank, so I don't see what you find wrong with it."

Roy saw red creeping up Miko's neck and into her cheeks. He feared that she might be nearing another explosion. "I - you - you're wrong, Greenhilt!" She declared indignantly. "It's - that is to say, there is something wrong with it. Your palette is simply not refined enough to understand the nuances of this... beverage." She folded her arms and turned her head away from him.

Roy's eyes narrowed as suspicion began tickling in the back of his head. "Now hold on just a second." He said. "You thought Sake came from a barrel. From your actions, it seems like you didn't even know what it was supposed to taste like. Which makes me wonder... You've never even had sake before in your life, have you?"

Miko turned her eyes briefly back to Roy, keeping her head facing away. "That's ridiculous." She declared.

Roy burst into laughter. "I knew it! You're not flushing in anger, you're blushing! You've never drank sake in your life! You just thought it would taste better, and clearly you couldn't dislike your national drink, so it there must be something wrong with the freakin' heavenly batch!" He broke down into a fit of uncontrollable laughter.

"This is not funny, Greenhilt!" Miko declared, full of wounded pride.

Roy snorted, trying to contain his giggles. "No, no, you see, this right here? This whole situation? This is precisely the kind of thing you do that gets you into trouble. It's like it doesn't even occur to you that you could have a flaw, so there must be something wrong with the universe at large."

"Disliking sake is not a flaw!" Miko declared vehemently. Suddenly, she realized what she had just said and her hands flew to cover her mouth.

Roy continued to fight with the last tremors of his earthshaking laughter. "No, you're absolutely right. So you don't like your national drink. So what? It doesn't somehow make you less of an Azurite."

Miko slowly lowered he hands, blinking as if she were having an epiphany. "I... do not like sake." She declared almost reverently.

"You don't have to. There's plenty of stuff from my homeland that I don't like." Roy said encouragingly. "I mean look, I'm drinking a dwarven ale. My country didn't come up with that."

Slowly, Miko pushed her glass away. "Barkeep!" She called. Smilin' Pete dutifully appeared behind the bar a few moments later. "Bring me something else. I do not like sake!" She declared.

Seeing Pete's confusion, Roy stepped in. "Just roll with it. Grab her something sweet, I don't think she's much of a drinker."

"Elven Strawberry Wine coming right up!" Pete said, disappearing through another door into what Roy assumed was a pantry.

As they sat in silence, Roy thought about his situation. So maybe making Miko realize that she didn't like her national drink was a far cry from making her realize that she didn't have to be the ridiculous caricature of a paladin she thought she had to be. Maybe it was still to much to hope that she'd apologize to either the barkeep or him for her previous behavior. But it was a start. And maybe that was worth putting up with her for just a bit longer.

Too tired to even proofread. Probably full of errors. Need... sleep... Everyone let me know what you thought of it.

*Amount of bold font may be more or less than 90%. Actual percentage not guaranteed. Offer void in Quebec and Hawaii.

[Monzach]

Lots of stuff has happened since last I've read the goings-on in this thread. Too much, in fact for commenting on everything, so I think I'll just go with: Keep up the good level of work, all you writers and drawers. (I think it's painfully obvious that I delegate motivational team-talks to my assistant in Football Manager :smalleek:)

I've just bought the newest "Dragonomicon" for the 4th Edition. I now have an overpowering urge to write of the forbidden love between a mithral- and an adamantine dragon.

Yes, those are detailed in said book.

Which I bought at full price.

...

Just someone shoot me. Please.

[Zanaril]

Just someone shoot me. Please.

*loads up tranquilizer gun with love-potion darts*

Hold still. You might feel a slight irresistible urge to write crack fic....

[The Dark Fiddler]

*loads up tranquilizer gun with love-potion darts*

Hold still. You might feel a slight irresistible urge to write crack fic....

*takes away potion* No more, Zanaril. It's not healthy, and I'm pretty sure it's illegal in some places. Unless you white-text it. Then there's no way I could know.

[Sstoopidtallkid]

I've just bought the newest "Dragonomicon" for the 4th Edition. I now have an overpowering urge to write of the forbidden love between a mithral- and an adamantine dragon.

Yes, those are detailed in said book.

Which I bought at full price.

...

Just someone shoot me. Please.I can do ya 1 better. I once bought a Steampunk novel by a new author. Not great, but it was interesting most of the way through. Then, about 2/3rds of the way in, it turns into furry porn. I essentially paid to read about a priest and an ewok getting it on. The shame has never quite gone away.

[Zanaril]

*takes away potion* No more, Zanaril. It's not healthy, and I'm pretty sure it's illegal in some places. Unless you white-text it. Then there's no way I could know.

I trusted you! You were my friend! You promised that together we would rule this thread! *runs away crying*
*returns and back-stabs Fiddler with love-potion dart*

[The Dark Fiddler]

I trusted you! You were my friend! You promised that together we would rule this thread! *runs away crying*

Huh, I don't remem...ber.... that...

I feel light-headed...