Playground Giants for the Cup! (Let's Play Blood Bowl)

[potatocubed]

Ah, Blood Bowl. Ritualised warfare between men and orcs and dwarves and elves and a bunch of other things, with an inflated pig's bladder bouncing around somewhere in the middle. The glory! The violence!

And now I, veteran coach Mad John Potato, am offering YOU a chance to participate in the fortunes of my latest Blood Bowl team. As head coach I shall try my best to steer us to glorious victory and an overflowing trophy cabinet in our first season. I am counting on you, my volunteer players, to do all the hard work and get punched in the face by creatures from all over the Old World.

No! Stop walking away! You'll get paid, too! More gold than you'll ever see in your lifetime provided you live long enough to spend it.

So what do you say? Are you game for a game?


- * -

Clean Cup
Game 1 vs. Humans (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showpost.php?p=7443208&postcount=32)
Game 2 vs. Wood Elves (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showpost.php?p=7449139&postcount=50)
Game 3 vs. Lizardmen (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showpost.php?p=7462020&postcount=75)
Playoffs vs. Lizardmen (again!) (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showpost.php?p=7482087&postcount=88)
Final vs. Humans (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showpost.php?p=7487308&postcount=99)

Aerial Cup
Game 1 vs. Wood Elves (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showpost.php?p=7494886&postcount=105)




- * -

I find the Blood Bowl PC game kinda easy even on the hardest difficulty setting, so I thought I'd try something different. This LP will cover the trials and tribulations of the first season of a team made up entirely of bog-standard human linemen - at least to start with. We'll see how they develop as the LP progresses.

So sign up! Have a player named after yourself and choose what sort of direction you want him to go (general role, skills you want to pick up, that sort of thing). I'll stick as closely as possible to your instructions in-game and post the results here. I'm also accepting applicants for one (1) apothecary, and any number of cheerleaders, assistant coaches, and general hangers-on.

Oh, also:

What should the team be called?
What should its motto be?
What colour armour should we have?

[Narazil]

Totally signing up, fast runner / dodger / catcher. Agility, and loads of it.

I vote for the simplest of team-names: The Giants! :smallwink:

Motto.. Erh.. Get Rich or die trying?

And red armour. Then the opponents can't see us bleed. Clever eh?

[chiasaur11]

I would like to play, but I can't. Promised my mum I wouldn't.

Can't break a promise to your mum.

[Joran]

My character:

The Honorable Spencer "Knuckles" Montagu, the 28th Earl of Sandwich.

Just give him all the talents to injure players. I think dirty player first and from there you can pick whatever you want, depending on rolls. Have him foul constantly.

I'm no good at names; my friend has the two best names:

Oh Noes: Dinos! (Lizardmen)
The WAAAGHinston Greenskins (Orks)

The best I could come up for a bunch of boring humans is: The Mundanes

[Jibar]

I would like to sign up as completely useless character who sucks at everything. :smalltongue:

As for names...

Team Asskicking in the Playground!

[Johnny Blade]

Oh yeah, sign me up. :smallcool:

(In case I don't get any stat increases, I'd like to be a simple line grunt. Block, Guard if you get a lucky doubles roll.)


I would like to play, but I can't. Promised my mum I wouldn't.

Can't break a promise to your mum.
So, head cheerleader?

[Narazil]

Looked up some Blood Bowl rules:


Narazil "El Fuerte" Johnson The Third.
Right Stuff
Side Step
Dodge
Sprint
Catch

A small, fastmoving man with a mask, Narazil mocks his opponents as he dashes past them, jumping up, pivoting mid-air and catching the ball.

Picture (spoilered for size)

http://elblogdeljugon.com/wp-content/uploads/street_fighter_iv_el_fuerte.jpg
Shamelessly stolen from Street Fighter IV, obviously.

[Johnny Blade]

Well, you can't get right stuff unless you start with it.

(Oh, and you'd need to roll doubles all the time...when you can really only expect one before you die. :smallwink:)

[potatocubed]

Ach, I'd forgotten that human linemen only get the most boring selection of skills. Perhaps I can find a cheat that'll let me get around that for one campaign. Watch this space.

EDIT: Well, that was quick. Found a neat hack for it. To prevent rampant abuse, I'm going to select one category (strength, agility, passing) for each player that counts as 'normal' based on the concept you have and add that to the standard skill list. To get anything else, you'll need doubles as normal.

No mutations though, because adding mutations to characters without the right animations causes the game to roll over and die.

[Anonomuss]

I'd say "The Giants of the Playground"
For the team name.

Motto: "Some come to play, others come to slay and we come to stay!"

I'd like to be a lineman who develops to be a throwing piece.

Skill Group: Passing

Skills:
Pass
Kick
Accurate
Nerves of Steel
Sure Hands
Kickoff Return

Colour: Maybe Orange or Green

[Johnny Blade]

I'd like Strength access, then.

And I also suggest orange as the team's color.

[Vitruviansquid]

Team name: Ostland Reiters

Motto: "We play Blood Bowl and get in fights"

Color: Black

I would like to be represented by Heinrich "NOT IN THE FACE" Carmine. Give me skills that keep me from dying.:smallsmile:

[Istari]

I'm in
Someone who is agile and takes shorter passes or as best as you can model that.
As for the other stuff.
I got nothing

[Domochevsky]

So how will this work? Is this video based? Screenshots? Are there any links in need of clicking to understand what's going on? :smallconfused:

[Johnny Blade]

Are there any links in need of clicking to understand what's going on? :smallconfused:
The rules (http://www.bloodbowlonline.com/Rules.shtml), probably.

(I assume the tabletop rules will be used, necessary skill cheating aside.)

[ObadiahtheSlim]

Sign me up. I think the motto should be "Not in the face!"

[Wraith]

Ooh, I'm definitely up for this one - I love Blood Bowl :smallbiggrin:

"Sir" Alexander Leccancia; down-on-his-luck Knight Errant of Bretonnia, forced to turn to Blood Bowl after his Squire went lame and his horse was press-ganged as a 'mate onto an Empirial 'Trading vessel'.

A Blitzer who will absolutely not resort to cheating and foul play - lest the Lady of the Lake show him disfavour - and absolutely will pummel anyone he sees resort to such dirty tricks against his Team mates (That is, pick up Mighty Blow, Guard and Stand Firm ASAP and never take 'dirty'skills like Pile On or Dirty Player :smalltongue: )

"The Giants of the Playground" (or some combination thereof - the Playground Giants, perhaps?) sounds like a great name, and "OH GODS NOT THE FACE" sound like a great motto. As for colours... Brown and Gold, like the standard Forum background? :smallsmile:

[xp194]

I'm up for it!

Finn 'Xeper' Dandrich (Xeper pronounced Ecks-per by the way)

Thin, lanky, and a tendancy to run away when a couple of 7ft tall-and-wide quarterbacks head in his general direction :-p

[chiasaur11]

Oh yeah, sign me up. :smallcool:

(In case I don't get any stat increases, I'd like to be a simple line grunt. Block, Guard if you get a lucky doubles roll.)


So, head cheerleader?

How about coach's assistant instead?

[potatocubed]

So how will this work? Is this video based? Screenshots? Are there any links in need of clicking to understand what's going on? :smallconfused:

I'll be taking screenshots of the highlights and going over the games as they're played. It'll be a mix of IC commentary and game mechanical explanations as appropriate, with as much wit as I can wring from my tortured artist's soul. I also plan on uploading the replays somewhere so that people with the game can watch the action on their own personal PC. In one season there will be about 30 or so games, so I might compress it if some games are particularly dull. We'll see how it goes.

In other news, 9 of 16 players are now taken, and chiasaur is now the official head assistant coach (if he wants to be). I'm leaning towards a sort of beige (or failing that, orange) as a team colour and 'OH GODS NOT THE FACE!' as a motto. For a name, I like 'The Playground Giants'. I'll keep the suggestions open for a while longer to see if anything better comes up, then get rolling.

[DemonicAngel]

I wanna play too. make me a Receiver, if you may. agile but fragile as hell (just like in real life... or not :) )

Anegram "long-legs" Fribin: thin, tall, and runs like a bat out of hall because he knows he won't get up if the heavier players catch up with him.

[SlyGuyMcFly]

Balthazar von Zeppenbaum. An empoverished noble desperate enough to seek fortune in Blood Bowl. He then discovered that he liked bashing peoples faces in with spiked knuckles. Despite a nigh-psychopathic attitude on the field he tries to stay classy and elegant.

I don't know how the crunchy part of Blood Bowl works, just make him into a solid bruiser type.

I'm all for the suggested name and motto.

[Lord Fullbladder, Master of Goblins]

"John" Fullbladder, AKA "Alan" Fullbladder, AKA "Maccadamia" Fullbladder, a humble guy who tends to forget his own story in the telling.

I don't know how to play and this rule book that was linked to is just confusing me more, so I'll just say make Mr Fullbladder the Strongman of this clownish troupe. Make him a Blocker.

[chiasaur11]

Would like the assistant coach job.

Could he be named Trev Likely?

(Read Unseen Academicals recently.)

[Lord of Rapture]

Dominic L. Rapture, reporting for duty!

No, I am not a mole for the glorious powers of Chaos, who will render this world asunder and claim all of creation as its rightful prize, why do you ask?

[DranWork]

Putis Bile-tongue
A fat hugely overweight slow man that will sit there on the frount lines and not budge (if there are skills for that kind of thing) also reknown for his dirty play and foul mouth

Team name: WAAAAAARHHH are we?

Colour: green.

[Johnny Blade]

Hmm...you know, I guess this will go above 16 applications for players soon.


So, guess I'll be the head cheerleader instead.

[Brother Oni]

Won't we need reserves for the inevitable casualties that'll occur during the season, or is that just how I used to play Blood Bowl?

Signing up as Onimaru, a Cathayan freebooter who wears a mask at all times, much like a luchador.
Ideally go for a blitzer role, with special emphasis on putting the boot in on the softer squisher members of the opposition.

[potatocubed]

Exactly 16 applications and 16 places on a full BB team. Coincidence? I think not.

Also, the first match is done! Results coming soon.

[Anonomuss]

Posting a background for my thrower guy (figured I might as well, since everyone's doing it :smalltongue:)

Anonomuss started playing Blood Bowl on a bet, after his brother told him he'd never be strong enough to do so, and last more than one season. He barely made it through the team tryouts, and began to get worried when the coach didn't even ask his name, and handed out a "Standard Form-Pay the holder of this form 50,000 crowns upon survival of the season". In his first game he found himself catching the ball, and had no idea what to do with it. With the enemy team thundering towards him, he did the only thing he could think of, he threw the ball straight at them. And missed.

The ball flew over their heads, and by some miracle, another lineman was there to catch it. After the thrower got mashed into the ground by a disgruntled Ogre, he became the team's faux-thrower. In fact, he's been called the same thing the last thrower of the team was called. And the previous one, and the one before.

[Johnny Blade]

Won't we need reserves for the inevitable casualties that'll occur during the season, or is that just how I used to play Blood Bowl?
Well, I guess there will be, but we're not a Skaven team or something like that. And I'm sure there'll be more people who want to become a part of this.

(Too bad Ogres aren't in the game. Given the usual Snotling turnover rate, potatocubed could fit the entire forum into one season.)


Also, being head cheerleader (I'm head cheerleader because I'm the only one) means I'll remain in the game no matter what.

[potatocubed]

Alright, so I've signed my team of talentless volunteers up for something called 'The Clean Cup'. Apparently it's the tournament for teams looking to make a name for themselves. We've got no skills and no fans, and I'm not sure this guy who calls himself a doctor has really been to medical school. At least, I've never seen someone try to close a wound with nails before. It looks like it's all going to be down to my brilliant leadership. Take a look at this lot:

http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b194/potatocubed/LPBB/teamphoto.jpg

I found a passing Bugman's salesman and managed to raise enough money to hire a local girl to cheer for us. The gods only know we're going to need all the help we can get. All I had to do was promise the dwarf that we'd advertise his caustic brew and win three out of our four next games. Piece of cake, right?

Our first match was arranged and, given the choice between going up against humans or lizard men, I picked the Bright Crusaders. Might as well ease these guys in gently by throwing them against some other human beings first. It turns out that this entire tournament takes place in a field. Not a stadium. Not a town square. A field. Maybe ten people showed up to watch.

http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b194/potatocubed/LPBB/1field.jpg

The coin was tossed. We won! A good omen, I thought. The Crusaders kicked off, the whistle blew, and this happened:

http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b194/potatocubed/LPBB/2riot.jpg

http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b194/potatocubed/LPBB/3aftermath.jpg

Like an army of ninjas, a hundred Bright Crusaders fans melted out of the haystacks, bundled onto the pitch and kicked the living tar out of my team. I've never seen anything like it: I'll be hearing the sound of boots on flesh in my nightmares for weeks.

Knuckles and Sir Alexander did a good job of covering the ball and moving it away from the other team while the rest of them staggered back to their feet. Narazil went sprinting upfield like he does and Jibar showed some promise by punching out one of the opposition. We were under pressure, but holding our own. It was at this moment that everything started to go wrong:

http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b194/potatocubed/LPBB/4nowitallgoeswrong.jpg

Anonomuss and Knuckles cleared some space. All Jibar had to do was take the ball from Xeper, run clear, and lob it as far up the pitch as he could.

He dropped it.

Xeper put the ball into his hands and he dropped it.

That led to this - note the total absence of Giants in the vicinity:

http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b194/potatocubed/LPBB/5dammit.jpg

And that led to their first touchdown. Knuckles and Sir Alexander almost caught him, but almost wasn't good enough. Without much time left in the first half I decided to arrange our 'aristocracy' on the front line and see how much damage they could do. The answer, it turned out, was 'some'. Between them, Sir Alexander, Knuckles, and Balthazar von Zeppenbaum managed to knock out another four of the Bright Crusaders. Anonomuss put the boot solidly into a fifth who was foolishly lying down on the pitch but the referee happened to be looking his way at the time and sent him off.

At half time I handed round some rocks - I couldn't afford any oranges - and shouted abuse at the players until I thought they were motivated enough to do some harm in the second half. We traipsed out onto the pitch and I was shocked to see that all the players we had managed to knock out in the first half were back on their feet! I don't know what the Crusaders had in their water barrel, but I want some.

The second half started well. There was violence. There were more knockouts on both sides. Their thrower got confused and started running towards his own end zone. Narazil, Anegram and 'Macadamia' Fullbladder were happy to pursue him:

http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b194/potatocubed/LPBB/6goingwell.jpg

While half his team ran around like headless chickens and the inestimable duo of Alexander and Knuckles laid waste to the line of scrimmage like pillaging norsemen, the trio descended upon the helpless thrower. Who turned out to be coated with grease:

http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b194/potatocubed/LPBB/7WTF.jpg

How did he do that? Luckily Alexander and Knuckles were on hand to put a stop to his run, with some able assistance from Macadamia Fullbladder. Sadly, the thrower's tackle-slipping grease had covered the ball and the next several minutes were spent in a giant fistfight with no one able to keep their hands on the ball. Finally, it popped out of the scrum:

http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b194/potatocubed/LPBB/8cretins.jpg

Pay careful attention to Jibar in the bottom right-hand corner. Now look at what happened next:

http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b194/potatocubed/LPBB/9doubledammit.jpg

The ball is in mid-pass, heading towards our end zone for the Crusaders' second touchdown. The guy you can see flat on his back after massaging his opponent's fist with his face is Jibar.

After that it was all over. Literally. There was just enough time to receive the ball one more time, for the aristocracy to work over the Crusaders' front line once again, and for Sir Alexander to successfully catch a pass from Istari, who replaced Anonomuss as thrower.

What a travesty. Head Assistant Coach Likely! I want to see some intensive training in 'Fighting' and 'Picking Up The Ball For Beginners' this week. Or perhaps some kind of glue we can apply to the players' gloves.

Rumour has it that our next match is against some wimpy elves. Perhaps that'll be just the thing to restore the lads' fighting spirit...

[Jibar]

*facepalm*

Yes!
I suck!
:smallbiggrin:

[Anonomuss]

Anonomuss put the boot solidly into a fifth who was foolishly lying down on the pitch but the referee happened to be looking his way at the time and sent him off.

[Hands in pockets whistling]
Wasn't me. Honest.
[/Hands in pockets whistling]



Istari, who replaced Anonomuss as thrower.


And I'm already obsolete, huzzah! Survival for all!

[Johnny Blade]

*facepalm*

Yes!
I suck!
:smallbiggrin:
And how! (More than) ten characters!

[Wraith]

By the sounds of it, Sir Alexander, Knuckles and Balthazar von Zeppenbaum pulled their weight pretty good for a bunch of rank amateurs Rookies. Go us! :smallbiggrin:

I have to say, I really like the idea of the coach deciding to "Send in the Aristocracy" in order to sort out the problems on the front line. That's almost a slogan - we coud put it on T-Shirts and sell it and everything! :smallwink:

Out of curiosity, what does our Team look like on the Roster? I thought it's something like this, but have no idea if it adds up or not:

Istari - Starting Thrower
Anonomuss - Linesman/Second Thrower

Onimaru - Blitzer
"Sir" Alexander Leccancia - Blitzer

Anegram "long-legs" Fribin - Catcher
Narazil - Catcher

The Honorable Spencer "Knuckles" Montagu, the 28th Earl of Sandwich - Linesman/"Fixer"
Jibar - Linesman
Johnny Blade - Linesman
Heinrich "NOT IN THE FACE" Carmine - Linesman
ObadiahtheSlim - Linesman
Finn 'Xeper' Dandrich - Linesman
Dominic L. Rapture - Linesman

Balthazar von Zeppenbaum - Blocker
Mister "Various" Fullbladder - Blocker
Putis Bile-tongue - Blocker

chiasaur11 - Assistant Coach

[Lord of Rapture]

Man, I really wish I could have been on the pitch

yesmilordeverythingisgoingasyouhaveforseen

[xp194]

Xeper's quote of the match

"ohgodsohgodsohgodsIgottheballgetitaway...
...
YOU DROPPED THAT?"

[Istari]

Yay! I contributed :smallbiggrin:

[chiasaur11]

Hey, don't blame me. I warned you about the shove, and you still went up against a team like the Crusaders on their home territory?

I did what I could. Some things you can't teach.

[Brother Oni]

First match and no fatalities yet? I'm disappointed... :smallmad:

Nice attempt there by Anonomuss, but next time try stamping a little less obviously and sharpening your studs a little more. I find these to be about the minimum sharpness required (http://www.iceskates.org.uk/wp-content/uploads/2009/03/nike-bauer-supreme-one05.jpg). :smallbiggrin:




Out of curiosity, what does our Team look like on the Roster? I thought it's something like this, but have no idea if it adds up or not:

Istari - Starting Thrower
Anonomuss - Linesman/Second Thrower

Onimaru - Blitzer
"Sir" Alexander Leccancia - Blitzer

Anegram "long-legs" Fribin - Catcher
Narazil - Catcher

The Honorable Spencer "Knuckles" Montagu, the 28th Earl of Sandwich - Linesman/"Fixer"
Jibar - Linesman
Johnny Blade - Linesman
Heinrich "NOT IN THE FACE" Carmine - Linesman
ObadiahtheSlim - Linesman
Finn 'Xeper' Dandrich - Linesman
Dominic L. Rapture - Linesman

Balthazar von Zeppenbaum - Blocker
Mister "Various" Fullbladder - Blocker
Putis Bile-tongue - Blocker

chiasaur11 - Assistant Coach

I was under the impression we were all linesmen with delusions of grandeur towards other positions. :smallbiggrin:

[xp194]

I vote we name all match plans against Elves as "Operation: Beat the Pansies" :-D

[Wraith]

That would make things.... hard. Still, I've heard of worse ideas fora Team... :smalltongue:


Hey, don't blame me. I warned you about the shove, and you still went up against a team like the Crusaders on their home territory?

I did what I could. Some things you can't teach.

Fun fact of the day: In the canon for the board game, the Bright Crusaders took that name because they never, ever, ever cheat or play dirty. They are the most honourable, honest and rule-abiding Team in the entire history of Blood Bowl.

And as such, they have never won a single game. Until now, anyway. :smallwink:

[Brother Oni]

Fun fact of the day: In the canon for the board game, the Bright Crusaders took that name because they never, ever, ever cheat or play dirty. They are the most honourable, honest and rule-abiding Team in the entire history of Blood Bowl.

And as such, they have never won a single game. Until now, anyway. :smallwink:

Well aside from that one game where the Bright lads turned up in shiny new uniforms and their elven opponents refused to play because they didn't have new uniforms. :smallbiggrin:

[Narazil]

Seems like I'm extremely good at trying.

Awesome.

[potatocubed]

Out of curiosity, what does our Team look like on the Roster? I thought it's something like this, but have no idea if it adds up or not:

Well, what Brother Oni said is true - all the players are linemen. That said, the roles that people have picked break down something like this.

Anonomuss - Starting Thrower. Although at the moment he's throwing more punches than balls. He seems to always end up in just the right place for a quick block or opportunistic foul, so... why not? He did get a couple of passes in during the last match but no SPP for them because of fumbles.

Istari - Backup Thrower/Runner.

Onimaru - Blitzer, in theory. Watch the next game writeup for details. :smalltongue:

"Sir" Alexander Leccancia - Blitzer.

Anegram "Long-Legs" Fribin - Catcher.

Narazil - Catcher.

The Honorable Spencer "Knuckles" Montagu, the 28th Earl of Sandwich - Blocker and Designated Fouler.

Jibar - Linesman and Designated Victim.

Johnny Blade - Linesman Head Cheerleader. Currently the only cheerleader.

Heinrich "NOT IN THE FACE" Carmine - Linesman.

Obadiah the Slim - Linesman.

Finn 'Xeper' Dandrich - Linesman.

Dominic L. Rapture - Blocker.

Balthazar von Zeppenbaum - Blocker.

"Random" Fullbladder - Blocker.

Putis Bile-tongue - Blocker and Backup Fouler.

chiasaur11 - Assistant Coach Trev Likely.

Honestly, the only distinction between linesmen and blockers at the moment is that the blockers are being more successful at punching face, while the linesmen are doing all sorts.

Anyway, just got done with the second match. Operation: Beat the Pansies was... well, you'll just have to wait and see. :smallwink:

[Johnny Blade]

So, I've been hired between games 1 & 2 if I'm seeing it right?

[potatocubed]

The cheerleader was hired before game 1 with sponsorship cash. I also had a lineman called Johnny Blade in the first couple of games because I thought you wanted to be a lineman.

Also: Does anyone know how to link to specific posts? I want to start making an index in the first post.

[Johnny Blade]

The cheerleader was hired before game 1 with sponsorship cash. I also had a lineman called Johnny Blade in the first couple of games because I thought you wanted to be a lineman.
Ah...I thought you hadn't started when I changed my mind.
Hope I at least wasn't good.


Also: Does anyone know how to link to specific posts? I want to start making an index in the first post.
That small number in the upper right corner of your post is a direkt link to the post and nothing else.
If you want to link to where the post is in the thread...well, easier to make a screenshot (with subtle hints):

http://img197.imageshack.us/img197/1445/hiklhblg.jpg

[potatocubed]

I'd had Trev pushing the guys hard all week. Running up and down, throwing and catching, wrestling starving wolves, the works. I'd got some reliable info that our opponents - the elven Bramble Blockers - had spent the week sitting around sipping wine and reciting poetry. They were the only team in the competition worse off than we were, so I reckoned this was going to go well. The only drawback was that because the elves had picked the same team colour as us, we would be wearing white.

I decided to open the match with the aristocracy on the front line, Narazil and Long Legs on the flanks, Anonomuss as lead thrower, and give some pitch time to the guys who didn't make it on against the Crusaders. As the pansy elves skipped onto the pitch I was feeling confident.

My good feeling wavered a bit when a treeman followed them on.

http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b194/potatocubed/LPBB/2-1-setup.jpg

My good feeling collapsed completely when, seconds after stepping onto the pitch for the first time, Onimaru was struck in the head by a thrown rock and had to be stretchered off again.

The remains of my good feeling festered and reanimated as some sort of feculence creature when the treeman and a few of his helpers proceeded to obliterate what was left of the front line.

http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b194/potatocubed/LPBB/2-2-ouch.jpg

I didn't have to be a doctor to see that Alexander and Knuckles weren't going to be back on for this match. I left them to the actual doc and his unrivalled collection of surgical tools; I had a match to pull back from the brink of defeat. Again.

Full of confidence, the elves had run their thrower forward. I sent in Dominic Rapture. Bit of a quiet type, him, in the sense of "I don't know why he murdered all those people and used their limbs as croquet mallets - he was always so quiet". He managed to make the thrower let go of the ball, at least:

http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b194/potatocubed/LPBB/2-3-punchpunchpunch.jpg

There followed a huge fight. The treeman had at least taken root in the middle of the pitch, but the elves were a lot better in a scrum than I thought they'd be, knocking out my players all over the place. There was a brief ray of hope when Balthazar, aided by Obadiah and Putis, managed to put down the ball carrier and sieze the ball. Obadiah even managed to trip the elven wardancer with a classic 'stick your leg out and hope' manouevre.

It was too little, too late, though: we were so badly outnumbered by this point that it was easy for the elves to take the ball back, and this soon followed:

http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b194/potatocubed/LPBB/2-4-dammit.jpg

So many of the Giants had been knocked out or wounded in the first half I was running short of players. Short of good players, anyway. I was going to have to play Jibar again.

I showed the survivors what the doc was doing to Knuckles and hoped the blood and screams would inspire them not to be on the receiving end of elven fists so much. The whistle blew. It was time to equalise OR DIE TRYING.

Anonomuss grabbed the ball and started moving it upfield, guarded by anyone who wasn't busy battering elves. Jibar... well, Jibar had a very special mission. Operation: Distract The Treeman got off to a flying start.

http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b194/potatocubed/LPBB/2-5-distractthetreeman.jpg

Things got better! Putis, finding himself face to face with an elf, opened the casualty sheet for the Playground Giants with a blinding headbutt. Not literally blinding, more's the pity, but it was a good start.

http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b194/potatocubed/LPBB/2-7-putispunchesback.jpg

Even better!

http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b194/potatocubed/LPBB/2-6-gogogo.jpg

He's a funny little man, but I knew he had to be good for something.

Let my joy be unbounded! Not wanting to be outdone by Putis, Dominic actually murdered the man standing next to him!

http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b194/potatocubed/LPBB/2-8-dominicgoesonebetter.jpg

I don't think I approve of what he did with the intestines afterwards, but before I could tell him off Narazil distracted me with a strange dance in the Bramble Blockers' end zone:

http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b194/potatocubed/LPBB/2-9-yeeeeees.jpg

Alright. One-all and plenty of time to murder our way to the ball and carry it home. Jibar kept up a masterful distraction of the treeman, refusing to so much as fall over when punched at least half of the time.

Putis had a tempting array of bodies to stick the boot into:

http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b194/potatocubed/LPBB/2-10-putispart1.jpg

But in the end he chose the guy with the ball.

http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b194/potatocubed/LPBB/2-11-putispart2.jpg

On the other side of the pitch, Fullbladder took on the wardancer and lost. Oh, how he lost. I haven't seen a body that floppy since the Chaos All-Stars staged an exhibition match against an orphanage. At least, I think it was an exhibition match. It might have just been a fight.

In any case, the doc reckons he can fix it. Something he brewed up out of troll urine, he says. Fullbladder didn't want to drink it, so I helped hold him down.

Bad mistake.

While I wasn't paying attention the elf thrower snatched up the ball, slung it the complete width of the pitch into the hands of the very wardancer who had laid Fullbladder low:

http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b194/potatocubed/LPBB/2-12-DAMMIT.jpg

Her dance was even stranger than Narazil's and, worse, was happening in our end zone.

And that was the end of that. Accursed last-minute touchdowns aside, we did better than in the previous match:

http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b194/potatocubed/LPBB/2-13-thestats.jpg

The only team left for us to play in this competition are the lizards. Unlike elves and humans these guys come ready-equipped with claws and teeth, so this week's training will be focussed on Playing While Suffering From a Fatal Mauling. Someone find those starving wolves again...

[SilentDragoon]

I'll join up if you need to replace someone:
Silent "I swear it wasn't my fault" Dragon
Lineman with durability abilities

I'd never heard of this game before but it looks awesome.

[chiasaur11]

We lost.

To Elves.

To a team that, if they played Blood Bowl in the amateur leagues, would have somehow died before they even started playing. I mean, I'll do what I can, but there's limits to what coaching can do.

[xp194]

Oh boy. We've been doing good so far on the causualities so far. Might not stay that way next match.

*Awoooooo!*

They're coming! Run guys, run!

[Jibar]

2 matches in and I'm already some sort of Curse.

A surprisingly long lived Curse.

This makes me so happy.

[Johnny Blade]

2 matches in and I'm already some sort of Curse.

A surprisingly long lived Curse.

This makes me so happy.
Trust me, next match you score the winning touchdown, are voted MVP and get a stat increase.

The match after that some fan throws a stone and you die.

[littlebottom]

can you have an ogre? id love to be an ogre that squishes the poncy skirt wearing elves!!.........:smallredface:

if not, id like to throw in a good blitzer. any skills you feel apropreate, throw them on to a linesman to make a decent blitzer. ill think of a name soon im sure... so watch this space.

i have the bloodbowl game, is surprisingly faithful to the boardgame. i usually end up playing goblins, because its the best feeling in the world to simply run up and chainsaw everybody down, then send a fanatic to bowl everyone else over, while a troll throws the ball carying goblin for a touchdown, absolutely hilarious.. usually lose though:smallfrown:

[Wraith]

I was going to ask what you were talking about - Knuckles and Balthazaar were both knocked out, but Sir Alexander wasn't lying down on the job, no sir!

And then I noticed the ominously red stain and the conspicuously human-shaped hole in the turf in front of the Treeman.....


http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b194/potatocubed/LPBB/2-2-ouch.jpg

....Not one of my better days. Nurse! :smalleek:

[Lord of Rapture]

Pay no attention to the severed limbs and heads I have in my locker please.

[chiasaur11]

Pay no attention to the severed limbs and heads I have in my locker please.

Trying not to.

[Bucky]

Do you guys still need an apothecary? (Translation: After that last game I refuse to go within five yards of an opposing lineman)

[Darth Mario]

Seeing as the bodies are going to start piling up rather quickly around these parts, I am willing to put my own flesh on the line. Lord Mario reporting for training, sirs. Seem to be a good replacement for the Aristocracy, once they start getting put down.

[Anonomuss]

Anonomuss - Starting Thrower. Although at the moment he's throwing more punches than balls. He seems to always end up in just the right place for a quick block or opportunistic foul, so... why not? He did get a couple of passes in during the last match but no SPP for them because of fumbles.


:smallbiggrin: I Love it! Thrower can't make a single pass! ((Maybe I should change my skills to something like "Hail Mary Pass")). Roll on game number 3.



I found a passing Bugman's salesman and managed to raise enough money to hire a local girl to cheer for us. The gods only know we're going to need all the help we can get. All I had to do was promise the dwarf that we'd advertise his caustic brew and win three out of our four next games. Piece of cake, right?



Wait, we didn't meet our promise to our sponsor. What does this mean? Pay them back what little money they gave us? Repossession of our cheerleader? Disbanded before the efforts of the pansy elves?

Oh, the suspense!! (At least no-one has died yet)

[Brother Oni]

My good feeling collapsed completely when, seconds after stepping onto the pitch for the first time, Onimaru was struck in the head by a thrown rock and had to be stretchered off again.


D'oh! :smallannoyed:

Note to self; next time, wear better headgear and less time sharpening studs and looking around garden centres for undetectable weedkiller.


Oh, the suspense!! (At least no-one has died yet)

More's the pity. :smallfrown:

I'm all for brutality and mindless shocking violence meted out arbitrarily, but I think coach would prefer it meted out on the other team rather than spread around liberally.

Edit: Ooops, missed the wood elf casualty and the fatality during the match. Must have been the blow to the head...

[xp194]

Edit: Ooops, missed the wood elf casualty and the fatality during the match. Must have been the blow to the head...

Nah. You were awake for it, if looking a little woozy. No-one really noticed though. Apart from the Ref, who yelled something like "Teach those pansy elves a lesson!"

Although I question the letting of a treeman onto the field. I'm sure there are rules against that. Right?

[SlyGuyMcFly]

Although I question the letting of a treeman onto the field. I'm sure there are rules against that. Right?

Rules? In Blood Bowl? Surely you jest!

[Johnny Blade]

There have indeed been several attempts to put an end to the admission of ogres, trolls, treemen and the like. It usually led to the election of a new rules board shortly thereafter.

(I said usually because of this time 27 years ago when nobody could be moved to stand for election for half a year. Might have had something to do with a few heads on pikes being all that remained of the board's offices.)

[potatocubed]

Alright, I've added Littlebottom in place of Johnny Blade the lineman, making way for Johnny Blade the cheerleader. Bucky is now the official doctor.

Next match should be coming tomorrow!

EDIT: Also, while changing Blade's name to Littlebottom I noticed that Onimaru, despite not playing in one match and spending the whole of the other unconscious, has won an MVP award and has 5 SPP. :smallbiggrin:

[Johnny Blade]

Well, Blood Bowl is all about dying in an entertaining way, so it does make sense.

Kinda.



Just by the way, are there set graphics for cheerleaders? If so, can you post a picture?

[Wraith]

There *are* graphics for the Cheerleaders:
http://cache.gawker.com/assets/images/kotaku/2009/02/cheerleaderbattle.jpg

Admittedly those are Dark- and Wood Elves respectively, rather than Human, but all of the different races have 2 things in common.... (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/MostCommonSuperPower) :smallwink:

[Brother Oni]

EDIT: Also, while changing Blade's name to Littlebottom I noticed that Onimaru, despite not playing in one match and spending the whole of the other unconscious, has won an MVP award and has 5 SPP. :smallbiggrin:

Ah, so my intimidation 5am visit to the referee worked then!

A reward and xp - what more can you ask for? :smallbiggrin:



Edit: Does that mean that Johnny Blade is actually a Johanna Blade, or will he be cross dressing? :smalleek:

[potatocubed]

Admittedly those are Dark- and Wood Elves respectively, rather than Human, but all of the different races have 2 things in common.... (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/MostCommonSuperPower) :smallwink:

That one on the left is a wood elf wardancer (one of the best - and most expensive - starting players you can get). The one on the right is a wood elf cheerleader. The dark elf cheerleaders are witch elves, with bride-of-Frankenstein stripes in their hair and pompoms with built-in knives.

And not all the races have those things in common. In fact, I think it's just humans, elves and chaos. Lizardmen get skinks with rattles, orcs get squig-riding goblins, and I don't know about skaven, dwarves or goblins.

[Brother Oni]

And not all the races have those things in common. In fact, I think it's just humans, elves and chaos. Lizardmen get skinks with rattles, orcs get squig-riding goblins, and I don't know about skaven, dwarves or goblins.

I forget, are orcs in warhammer like 40k orks in that they're actually amublatory fungi which reproduce asexually, or do display sexual dimorphism (there are girl orcs)?

I definately remember female orc cheerleaders (there models for them in the back of a White Dwarf), but I'm not sure what their biology is currently and whether it's been retconned.

Dwarvern cheerleaders were basically the same shape as normal dwarves, but they don't have beards.

[Wraith]

That one on the left is a wood elf wardancer (one of the best - and most expensive - starting players you can get). The one on the right is a wood elf cheerleader. The dark elf cheerleaders are witch elves, with bride-of-Frankenstein stripes in their hair and pompoms with built-in knives.

I'll be honest with you. I wasn't looking at their uniforms or their hair. :smallbiggrin:

(Thanks for correcting me though - it was the first picture I found on Google, so I wasn't really trying very hard. I save all my enthusiasm for on the Pitch! :smallbiggrin: )


And not all the races have those things in common. In fact, I think it's just humans, elves and chaos. Lizardmen get skinks with rattles, orcs get squig-riding goblins, and I don't know about skaven, dwarves or goblins.

They all have one pom-pom-thing in each of their two hands. What did you think I was talking about...? :smallamused:

[Johnny Blade]

There *are* graphics for the Cheerleaders:
http://cache.gawker.com/assets/images/kotaku/2009/02/cheerleaderbattle.jpg

Admittedly those are Dark- and Wood Elves respectively, rather than Human, but all of the different races have 2 things in common.... (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/MostCommonSuperPower) :smallwink:
Ah, I see. I was kinda hoping that it would be like Chaos League, where the cheerleaders were picked at random for each match.

Because...


Does that mean that Johnny Blade is actually a Johanna Blade, or will he be cross dressing? :smalleek:
Of course I will be. I wanted to be a dwarven transvestite, actually. I'd still like to, but that would mean no screenshots of my ravishing performances, I guess.

[potatocubed]

(You may note that I forgot to turn on names for most of the match. Oops.)

Now, if you were a curious sort you might wonder what a lizardman team, whose home is on the other side of an uncrossable ocean filled with sea serpents, elves and other monsters, might be doing in a field in the Old World. Well, I can tell you: It's the power of Blood Bowl! You go where the balls take you.

Now, how to react to lizardmen is pretty simple. First, check if the other player is bigger or smaller than you. If he's bigger, get away from him. If he's smaller, punch him. Easy. It's a pretty good rule of thumb on any Blood Bowl pitch, really, but it gets a bit complicated with dwarves.

Sadly one of my big hitters, Sir Alexander, got injured in training. Perhaps telling the team to pick bar fights as a way of toughening up was a bad idea. Well, too late now. We'd just have to play this week without him. I replaced him up front with Dominic Rapture, who seemed to be handy with his fists, and gave Onimaru another chance on the near flank.

Anyway, no nasty surprises this time as we filed onto the pitch. Just several big lizards and a whole mess of little ones. We won the toss and opted to receive. The ball went skywards, and the match was on!

I opened my eyes after a couple of minutes, expecting to find my whole team dead, and was pleasantly surprised! The slinky skinks seemed to be no match for the tripping foot of Anonomuss and the little lizards crumpled like dry leaves if you so much as looked at them funny. Anegram didn't bother dodging through their lines - he just spindled the skink who got in his way:

http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b194/potatocubed/LPBB/3-1-anegramsetsthepace.jpg

And that set the pace for the rest of the team. The aristocracy recruited some help and took down the big lizards with the old "You two hold his arms and I'll kick him in the nads!" routine. I don't know if the lizards have nads, but they went down all the same. Still, it wasn't long before Anonomuss was under pressure.

http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b194/potatocubed/LPBB/3-2-anonunderpressure.jpg

A few savage beatings later, and Onimaru was sprinting up the pitch unopposed! I made a mental note to find the rock-thrower from the last game and have him killed.

http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b194/potatocubed/LPBB/3-3-onimarugoes.jpg

Elsewhere on the pitch, things weren't going so well. Balthazar took on one of the big lizards without enough of an advantage and the creature disembowelled him! The blood! The gore! I swear I saw it eat some of his organs before we could get him off the pitch.

"No problem!" shrieked Doc Bucky. "I have just the parts for this!"

I have no idea how he did it, but Balthazar will play again. In fact, he got right back on the pitch, which is a hell of an achievement for a man with no liver.

Meanwhile, Istari was busy doing exactly the same thing to the opposition. I don't think he ate any parts of the fallen, but Dominic seems to have that well under control.

http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b194/potatocubed/LPBB/3-5-REVENGE.jpg

Seconds later, Onimaru scored!

http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b194/potatocubed/LPBB/3-6-onimaruscores.jpg

These victory dances get stranger every time.

There was still plenty of time left in the first half so we kicked off to the lizards. One of the small lizards picked up the ball, then Obadiah the Slim punched him straight into the infirmary. The ball was free! But wait! Who was that enigmatic masked man in just the right place?

http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b194/potatocubed/LPBB/3-7-obadandnarazil.jpg

I knew I kept him around for a reason.

Elsewhere on the pitch, Knuckles rounded up some other teammates and put the boot so far in it came out the other side.

http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b194/potatocubed/LPBB/3-8-knucklesgoesoff.jpg

He managed to put the big lizard off the pitch for the rest of the game, but the referee saw the whole thing and sent him off. From a safe distance.

But who cares?

http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b194/potatocubed/LPBB/3-9-narazilwins.jpg

2-0! It was like a beautiful dream. I pinched a spectator to see if he woke up, just to make sure.

As we kicked off again, I couldn't help but notice that the opposition were running low on players.

http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b194/potatocubed/LPBB/3-10-playersrunninglow.jpg

The match progressed much like this: we kicked the ball to the lizards, then we kicked the lizards. Early in the second half, things looked much like this:

http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b194/potatocubed/LPBB/3-11-bootbootboot.jpg

Note all the prone players and the scrawny ball-carrier surrounded by Giants. Then, somehow, things suddenly looked like this:

http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b194/potatocubed/LPBB/3-12-howdoesthishappen.jpg

It was the same trick that the Crusaders' thrower had pulled! The same trick that the elves' thrower had pulled to score that game-winning touchdown! How does this keep happening?

I ground my teeth and sent in Dominic. He kicked skink and ball alike straight into the crowd - all seven of them - who responded by throwing the ball back across the pitch, leaving it just outside my end zone with all my players on the other side of the field. Balthazar and Anonomuss tried their best, but...

http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b194/potatocubed/LPBB/3-13-bleh.jpg

There were only a few minutes left in the second half when we received the ball again, so I let the guys get stuck into the lizards until the whistle went.

Then it sunk in.

We had won our first game! I let the players cut loose, then sent Trev to round them all up a few days later. When they came back Obadiah, Narazil and Onimaru had all learned new tricks of the trade. Things were looking up. Mad John Potato will rise again!

[DemonicAngel]

whoho! our first win! nothing like beating the heck out of a bloody Lizardman and setting the tone for the whole game. looks like this was a great match (oh, I'm getting blood bowl in about 3 days. fun fun fun)

[chiasaur11]

Okay, good hustle, nice hurting the enemy more than they hurt you, all good.

Gotta say, these games are a bit higher scoring than I'm used to. Usually the non-pro games get decided on fatalities, what with scoring a point being...

Unlikely.

[Narazil]

Wait, wait, wait.

I scored? Seriously? In like, a real match? Woah. I should like, y'know, demand to be paid and stuff!

[Anonomuss]

Awesome, I'm getting to be useful.

Gratz to all those clever people who managed to learn new skills!

[littlebottom]

wait? a victory? YEAAAH! thats only 2 games lost to 1 won, maybe we can still turn this around?

[tyckspoon]

I forget, are orcs in warhammer like 40k orks in that they're actually amublatory fungi which reproduce asexually, or do display sexual dimorphism (there are girl orcs)?

I definately remember female orc cheerleaders (there models for them in the back of a White Dwarf), but I'm not sure what their biology is currently and whether it's been retconned.

Dwarvern cheerleaders were basically the same shape as normal dwarves, but they don't have beards.

Blood Bowl is officially not the same universe as the Warhammer Fantasy World anyway, so it doesn't matter. Orcs get skirted girls for cheerleaders if you want 'em. Over-enthusiastically happy goblins getting eaten by their own squigs are good too, tho.

[Jibar]

Note how Not-On-The-Field I am.

I get the feeling that had something to do with this.

[xp194]

Orcs get skirted girls for cheerleaders if you want 'em..

Actually, I believe I read somewhere that Orcish 'Cheerleaders' are drummers in the game.

YMMV on how good or bad that is :-p

[Brother Oni]

A few savage beatings later, and Onimaru was sprinting up the pitch unopposed! I made a mental note to find the rock-thrower from the last game and have him killed.


No need, he's been... given a good talking to, shall we say. *Hides the car battery and jump leads*



Seconds later, Onimaru scored!

http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b194/potatocubed/LPBB/3-6-onimaruscores.jpg

These victory dances get stranger every time.


W00T!

You should see the dance I do when I score a hat-trick. :smallbiggrin:




When they came back Obadiah, Narazil and Onimaru had all learned new tricks of the trade. Things were looking up. Mad John Potato will rise again!

As long as the trick guarantees at least one fatality or casualty per game, I'm happy. :smallbiggrin:

Would a screenshot of our current team roster and brief stats be possible, coach?

[littlebottom]

i was just wondering, when the next match would be?:smalltongue:

[SlyGuyMcFly]

The best part of all this is that my new liver is even better at dealing with booze! Three strait days of drinking and nary a hangover in sight. I'm not so sure on the greenish scales I've been developing on my right side, but I'm sure it's nothing to worry about.

[potatocubed]

i was just wondering, when the next match would be?:smalltongue:

It's coming, it's coming, keep your hair on. :smalltongue: It takes about two hours to play a match and do the writeup, and the past few evenings I've had other things to do. I hope to get another match done tonight, then another on each of Saturday and Sunday, and then we'll see about next week.

[potatocubed]

So, crunch time was here. The preliminary matches were over and the playoffs were about to begin. A word of explanation for those of you who just come for the dismemberments and don't care too much about the details: every tournament is divided into preliminaries and playoffs. During the preliminaries every team plays three games and racks up 3 points for a win, 1 point for a draw and 0 for a loss. Then at the end of the prelims the four teams with the highest scores enter the playoffs. Bigger cups split the teams into 'groups' for the prelims, with only the highest scorer (or two) in each group going forward.

However, in this arse-end-of-nowhere cup there were only four teams to start with, so we were still in with a chance. Even better, we were drawn against the lizard men again. After the maiming they got last time, we should have a great advantage.

The match got off to a pretty standard start. We kicked off, then got stuck into the lizards with a vengeance. They stood up better than last time, but this time we had Sir Alexander back in action. It wasn't long before he had ducked through their front lines and was menacing the ball carrier.

http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b194/potatocubed/LPBB/4-1-siralexblitzes.jpg

On the other side of the pitch, Narazil took the 'easy way' past his marker.

http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b194/potatocubed/LPBB/4-1-narazilkillsaskink.jpg

I think he lost a glove in that sucking chest wound. Keeping up the carnage, Balthazar cold-cocked one of the seven-foot tall warrior lizards.

http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b194/potatocubed/LPBB/4-3-balthyfights.jpg

He would go on to spend the rest of the game as an iron pillar that the big lizards just kept bouncing off. Meanwhile, the area around the ball had descended into a huge fight, with no one able to keep their hands on it.

http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b194/potatocubed/LPBB/4-4-giantfight.jpg

Then suddenly, a slinky skink broke free of the pack, ball in his hands! Dominic! Get in there!

http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b194/potatocubed/LPBB/4-5-slinkyskink.jpg

http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b194/potatocubed/LPBB/4-6-NOOOOO.jpg

NOOOOO! What was worse was that after the massive scrum that had taken up most of the first half, there wasn't enough time left to counterattack before the whistle blew for half time. I gave the lads a stern talking to at half time, punctuated with my 'motivation stick'. We needed to use the tactics that had worked so well last time - maim half the other team and the touchdowns will come.

Fullbladder obliged.

http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b194/potatocubed/LPBB/4-7-macadamia1.jpg

Then he obliged again!

http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b194/potatocubed/LPBB/4-8-macadamia2.jpg

Anonomuss had the ball and Dominic was in the clear. I wasn't sure about passing him the ball - he's the sort who might kill it instead of scoring with it - but I needed a touchdown and soon. Anonomuss made a perfect pass. Dominic punched it out of the air. It was a beautiful smack, and no mistake, but it wasn't what I wanted.

Then this happened:

http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b194/potatocubed/LPBB/4-9-NO.jpg

Those skinks are speedy little buggers! Even worse, it was the same guy who had slipped through our grasp to score last time! I raged. I foamed at the mouth. I was half a step from climbing onto the pitch to stop him myself when Anonomuss took my words to heart. "KILL HIM!" I had howled. So he did.

http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b194/potatocubed/LPBB/4-10-anonkills.jpg

Nice work!

Sir Alexander and Knuckles were both unconscious, the result of one too many fistfights with the warrior lizards, but Fullbladder knew what to do.

http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b194/potatocubed/LPBB/4-11-gofullbladdergo.jpg

http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b194/potatocubed/LPBB/4-12-YES.jpg

It was late in the second half and we were one-all. But this was a playoff, and playoffs can't end in draws. It's just extra time until someone wins. Just like last time, they were running low on players.

http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b194/potatocubed/LPBB/4-14-lowonplayers.jpg

Wait... who's that who sneaked onto the pitch to deliver the kickoff?

http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b194/potatocubed/LPBB/4-13-waitwhosthat.jpg

OH NO.

He managed to kick the ball the shortest distance possible without it actually landing in our half of the pitch. The lizards quickly snatched it up. Then my front line descended on them like halflings on cake, with much the same results. Anonomuss, his contribution to the violence well and truly established, decided to go and score instead.

http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b194/potatocubed/LPBB/4-15-anongoes.jpg

http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b194/potatocubed/LPBB/4-16-anonscores.jpg

Meanwhile, Jibar actually made himself useful by standing around and distracting the other team while the competent players got them from behind.

There were just a few minutes left of the first period of extra time. The lizards had to bring the scores level again or we would win. We kicked off - and were so quick to get stuck in that Anegram actually managed to run into their half and catch the ball we had just kicked into the air. Sadly, although skinks are the second-puniest thing in Blood Bowl, three-on-one is more than enough to even the odds and Anegram let go of the ball again pretty quickly.

It wasn't enough though. The whistle blew. We had won again!

You know what this means? This means we're in the final for the 'Clean Cup', whatever that is. You know who our opponents will be? The Bright Crusaders. It's time for a grudge match, lads, so sharpen those studs and line those gloves with lead. :smallamused:


- * -

P.S. Anonomuss' beating skills have manifested themselves in his passing - he gained the skill Strong Arm after I rolled a double on his level up. For Blood Bowl noobs: When players level up, they can normally choose skills from a limited selection. Since Anon is a nominal thrower I've granted him access to the normal and passing lists. If you roll a double, you can choose a skill from any list (or a chaos mutation for some races). Strong Arm is a passing-related skill in the strength list, so it's 'cross-class' for most throwers. It basically reduces the penalties for passing long distances.

Even better, Xeper levelled up and got +1 AG! For people unfamiliar with the game, every player is measured in four stats: Movement (MV), Strength (ST), Agility (AG) and Armour Value (AV). Human linemen start as 6/3/3/8. Wood elf linemen are 7/3/4/7. A one-point difference is important! Now Xeper is as agile as an elf, and better-armoured to boot.

[Jibar]

You've posted that three times Potato.

However, woooooo!
I'm sneaky AND terrible!
I hope I level up soon in getting punched in the face.

[Lord of Rapture]

I'm sorry boss, I promise I won't screw up again!

MWAHAHAHAHA! FOR THE GLORY OF CHAOS!

[Johnny Blade]

Stomp the Saurus! Squelch the Skink!
Bring them to extinction's brink!

Goooooo Giants!


Balthazar's an armored iron wall!
Whatever you need, Fullbladder can do it all!

Goooooo Giants!


Ano's so hard he drinks Everclear!
And Jibar, yeah, he's also here. *ahem*

Goooooo Giants!


We stomped the Saurus! Squelched the Skink!
Brought them past extinction's brink!

Goooooo Giants!

[† Dran †]

Well I had one awesome game and the rest of the time ive been sucking my thumb it seems. Damn Putis and his lazy ways!

thats 2 wins in a row... anyway that we can make it so that we play those lizardmen in the finals?! 3 in a row would be nice.


Still horrified that no ones dead yet.....

[Bucky]

Still horrified that no ones dead yet.....

Sorry, my fault. Would you rather I cut back on the leech blood serum or kick it up a notch?

[Lord Fullbladder, Master of Goblins]

And THAT is why they call me "Conan the Fullbladder". :smallcool:

[DemonicAngel]

So, I'm that fast?! apparently I should have been nicknamed "The Flash". lets destroy some more lizardman, guys:smallfurious:

[Anonomuss]

Anonomuss had the ball and Dominic was in the clear. I wasn't sure about passing him the ball - he's the sort who might kill it instead of scoring with it - but I needed a touchdown and soon. Anonomuss made a perfect pass. Dominic punched it out of the air. It was a beautiful smack, and no mistake, but it wasn't what I wanted.


Huzzah, my first successful pass! Now I can actually justify being the starting thrower! Nice catch Dom.



I was half a step from climbing onto the pitch to stop him myself when Anonomuss took my words to heart. "KILL HIM!" I had howled. So he did.


Glad to see my virtual self learned that the ref doesn't care if you kick them when they're standing. He must've picked up the recommended footwear as well.



http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b194/potatocubed/LPBB/4-16-anonscores.jpg


Looks like the silly victory dances
Meanwhile, Jibar actually made himself useful by standing around and distracting the other team while the competent players got them from behind.



P.S. Anonomuss' beating skills have manifested themselves in his passing - he gained the skill Strong Arm after I rolled a double on his level up.


Excellent. Maybe someone else should take the kick skill, just to make sure I can maximise the 'thrower-ey' skills. Maybe Jibar? :smalltongue:

[xp194]

Now Xeper is as agile as an elf, and better-armoured to boot.

That'd be from all the running away I keep doing then :-p

[SlyGuyMcFly]

I think he lost a glove in that sucking chest wound. Keeping up the carnage, Balthazar cold-cocked one of the seven-foot tall warrior lizards.

He would go on to spend the rest of the game as an iron pillar that the big lizards just kept bouncing off. Meanwhile, the area around the ball had descended into a huge fight, with no one able to keep their hands on it.

That's me! One big, irony pillar of... stuff.

[potatocubed]

The final. It wasn't much of a cup, but any trophy is better than no trophy at all. It was the Bright Crusaders again, other humans, who had handed us our first ever defeat. It was payback time.

We all trooped out onto the field for the coin toss, glaring daggers at each other. Well, I was glaring daggers. I couldn't see what anyone else was doing because of the helmets. The ball was kicked and the game was on. Things started out pretty well:

http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b194/potatocubed/LPBB/5-1-goingwell.jpg

Then the Crusaders counterattacked. Anonomuss' little cadre of guardians folded like house of cards in a stiff breeze. Despite Obadiah's best efforts (and his new diving tackle technique) they managed to make a break for it.

http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b194/potatocubed/LPBB/5-2-waitwhat.jpg

http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b194/potatocubed/LPBB/5-3-NOOO.jpg

Where had our great start gone? How was this going downhill already? We received the ball again and Anonomuss began setting up the pass. Then he was interrupted by a Crusaders hit squad and Conan the Fullbladder had to snatch the ball from his hands.

http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b194/potatocubed/LPBB/5-5-conanhasit.jpg

Balthazar made an expert gap for him to run through and Fullbladder did so, lining up a pass to Anegrim who was ready to run it home. Then he dropped it.

http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b194/potatocubed/LPBB/5-6-conandoesnthaveit.jpg

The end of the first half devolved into a brawl over the ball, but we just couldn't get it back in time to score. We kicked off in the second off, 1-0 down. The line of scrimmage became a war zone, neither side giving an inch.

http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b194/potatocubed/LPBB/5-7-widefight.jpg

An opportunity arose! Balthazar blitzed through the enemy defenders and punched the ball carrier into the crowd, who took the opportunity to throw a few punches of their own. Punches, and kicks, and bottles...

http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b194/potatocubed/LPBB/5-8-thecrowdgoeswild.jpg

Then the crowd threw the ball back onto the pitch. About six inches from our end zone and right at the feet of one of their players.

http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b194/potatocubed/LPBB/5-9-WHAT.jpg

Obadiah the Slim ran halfway across the pitch and fought off two of the Crusaders by himself until Knuckles and Sir Alex were able to reinforce him.

http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b194/potatocubed/LPBB/5-9-obadmakestheplay.jpg

Meanwhile, the trippin' foot of Anonomuss was in fine form.

http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b194/potatocubed/LPBB/5-10-anonisstillbadass.jpg

With support from several other players, Obadiah started the long run up the pitch. The second half was about to end and we needed a touchdown to equalise and get to extra time. Could he make it?

http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b194/potatocubed/LPBB/5-11-willhemakeit.jpg

http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b194/potatocubed/LPBB/5-12-YES.jpg

YES. In the very last seconds of the match, Obadiah snatches us another chance. Now it was the meatgrinder of extra time, where every injury counts and every mistake can be fatal - literally.

Overtime turned into a huge fight, with neither team able to get much over the halfway line. We would seize the ball and push a few inches forward, then they would take it back and push a few inches back. One by one, players fell victim to concussions or injuries.

http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b194/potatocubed/LPBB/5-13-overtimefight.jpg

It ground my teeth, but they were winning. One of their blitzers made a run for our end zone with the ball. Dominic! Get in there!

http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b194/potatocubed/LPBB/5-14-dominicisin.jpg

He didn't hold onto the ball for long. The same blitzer tried the same run only to be brought down by Anegram.

http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b194/potatocubed/LPBB/5-15-anegramisin.jpg

But we just didn't have enough people or enough luck to hold.

http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b194/potatocubed/LPBB/5-16-argh.jpg

It had taken so long to get to this point that the referee blew his whistle out of desperation to finish the match. We wouldn't get a chance to equalise. Our dreams of the Clean Cup had come to nothing.

So I signed us up for another one. Who needs this crummy cup? The Aerial Cup isn't far away, they'll let anybody play, and we'll be playing in proper stadiums this time.

In the meantime, I'm going to hire some guys to burn and salt this poxy field so that no one ever speaks of the Clean Cup again.


- * -

You might have been able to hear me swearing as I played this game. It lasted 32 turns - fully twice the length of a standard match - and featured the most rollercoaster luck I've ever had. In the end, with half the team unconscious I just couldn't get the ball upfield faster than the Crusaders moved it downfield. Bah.

Oh well: Next Cup!

[Lord Fullbladder, Master of Goblins]

Sorry, Coach. I guess they don't call me "Slippery" Fullbladder for running.

Actually, they don't call me that. But after this game they just might. Ah well, "Old Ironshod" Fullbladder can take a bit of namecalling.

We'll take something other than lizards down in the next cup, Coach. You can count on us.

[Anonomuss]

We'll do better next time coach.
You have my word on it as a sneaky, stabbing, tripping and fouling human lineman/thrower.

((Here's hoping we get to wail on some goblins))

[DemonicAngel]

I see Anegram did good in this game... at least he saved that last TD from happening. hope we'll have better luck in the aerial cup.

[littlebottom]

i dont know if you noticed coach, but when the fans threw the ball at our end, i went and beat the guys up who threw it, no really coach!, really!

[Wraith]

Looks like Sir Alexander was still recovering from the concussion he got before the previous game. Standing on the halfway line and rucking with everything that walks past might sound like a fun job, but he didn't even do THAT spectacularly enough to get noticed :smalltongue:

Perhaps I can invest in a shiny new chainsaw before the next season begins, that'll turn a few heads into patê....

[potatocubed]

So, the Aerial Cup. Apparently it was invented by elves to show off their passing, but who cares? It's a small cup and it draws proper crowds. Unlike the Clean Cup, though, this one is a tour. We'll be going to all sorts of proper stadiums, not playing all our games in some guy's field. The Bugman's guy wasn't happy about the contract we'd screwed up but I made sure to bring a few helpers to the next negotiation. A few, like, the entire team.

He wasn't going to sign us again - not with all those broken fingers - but some goblin casino owner was willing to throw us a bit of cash for a promised 50% win rate. With new 'Goblin Gambling' team shirts, I loaded the lads into carts and headed for our first game.

When we arrived, I got two surprises. Firstly, the venue:

http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b194/potatocubed/LPBB/6-1-whoa.jpg

I knew the dwarves had done some sort of deal to host a few games, but when I thought of dwarf stadiums I had expected something underground. This... this was high up.

The second surprise was our opponents. Remember the Bramble Blockers from the Clean Cup? Yeah. Turned out they (and their treeman) had come along as well. Was I ever shocked when they danced out onto the pitch. Still, we were here now and the match was ready to start.

Things started out pretty well. We clashed with their front line, they dropped the ball, and 'Zippy' Fullbladder was able to nip around and snatch it before they could recover. He didn't hold on to it for long, though, but their thrower seemed to be a bit confused and ran the wrong way up the pitch.

http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b194/potatocubed/LPBB/6-2fullbladderdown.jpg

A quick blitz from Dominic opened the scoring - the bloody-handed destruction scoring, that is.

http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b194/potatocubed/LPBB/6-3-domopensthescoring.jpg

Anegram took advantage of the opening to duck past his marker and leave the elves' thrower in a heap on the ground. The inevitable followed:

http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b194/potatocubed/LPBB/6-4-gogogo.jpg

(I saved over the touchdown pic by accident, but he definitely scored.)

It was looking good. Clearly the elves were distracted by being surrounded by dwarf spectators waving "we hate elves" banners. They were more distracted when, guided by our strangely androgynous cheerleader, one of the dwarves threw a rock at one of the elf wingers - and by 'threw a rock' I mean 'fired a cannon'. That took him out of the picture.

We kicked off again and, again, we smashed through their lines like a cannonball through goblins. Again, they were having chronic trouble picking up the ball. The only thing that stood between the Giants and total domination of the pitch was that blasted treeman - until Onimaru pulled out a perfect lumberjack impression.

http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b194/potatocubed/LPBB/6-5-endoftreeman1.jpg

Knuckles saw his chance and boy, did he take it:

http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b194/potatocubed/LPBB/6-6-endoftreeman2.jpg

I don't know where he got a jar of deathwatch beetles from at such short notice, but that sort of thinking shows a prepared mind. The treeman wouldn't be taking any more part in this match. One of the elves shed a single tear at this wanton destruction of the woodlands, so Dominic punched him. Meanwhile, Anegram reprised his touchdown-scoring method of earlier and took out the ball carrier.

Then the wardancer arrived. In seconds, it looked like this:

http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b194/potatocubed/LPBB/6-7-bloodywardancers1.jpg

I hate wardancers. A fierce fight for the ball followed, but we didn't see another wardancer sneaking behind the line of scrimmage. One inch-perfect pass later...

http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b194/potatocubed/LPBB/6-8-bloodywardancers2.jpg

Have I mentioned that I hate wardancers? It was 1-1 heading into the second half but we'd done a lot of damage to the elf team. Could they withstand any more beating?

Not really, no. We knocked holes in their line like whatever it is that puts holes into that holey cheese. Narazil was clear, Anonomuss wound up his arm:

http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b194/potatocubed/LPBB/6-9-anonmakesthepass.jpg

What a throw! Narazil sprinted for the end zone when:

http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b194/potatocubed/LPBB/6-10-bloodywardancers3.jpg

Where did she come from? Have I mentioned that I hate wardancers?

Then the other wardancer tripped over and fractured her collar bone. Oh, how I laughed.

http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b194/potatocubed/LPBB/6-11-fragilewardancer1.jpg

Apparently the elves took offence at my laughing and one of them managed to put down Sir Alexander in a permanent-until-Bucky-got-his-hands-on-him kind of way. Dominic took offence at this and returned the favour:

http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b194/potatocubed/LPBB/6-13-revenge.jpg

The surviving wardancer, now in possession of the ball, sprinted through our lines like they weren't even there. It would have been jaw-dropping if it wasn't for the fact that she was on the other team. Then she made the mistake of dodging past Obadiah, the best tackler on our team. That stone pitch is merciless on elf skulls.

Xeper stepped in with elf-like grace and snatched the ball from the twitching hands of the wardancer. Knuckles cleared away the elven defender, and Xeper fired the ball through the tiniest of gaps into the safe hands of Narazil:

http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b194/potatocubed/LPBB/6-14-thepass.jpg

http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b194/potatocubed/LPBB/6-15-thescore.jpg

Note in the background of those two shots the utter carnage in the elves' infirmary. Two wardancers, a treeman, and three pointless schlubs. Nice work team!

All we had to do was hold the elves off for the last few minutes of the match and we would be home free. We were doing okay when, horror of horrors, Knuckles made a mistake. Instead of punching out the ball carrier, he fell flat on his face in front of him.

http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b194/potatocubed/LPBB/6-16-knucklesmakesamistake.jpg

The elf was open! He sprinted off towards our end zone with the sort of speed only an elf running away from eleven huge, angry men can muster. The end zone was almost under his feet when:

http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b194/potatocubed/LPBB/6-17-onimarusavestheday.jpg

*punch*

Nice one, Onimaru.

The whistle blew! The match was over. Victory was ours! I hear the next team might be orcs, who will give us a run - or rather, a fight - for our money, so no slacking!

(Fullbladder rolled +1 MV on his level-up, so now he really is zippy, and Dominic picked up Block, the better to hit people with. The team is coming together! :smallcool:)

[xp194]

Hells yeh team! Bet that Bugman's dude is annoyed he didn't re-sign us this time!

Operation Beat the Pansies Mk 2 went off without a hitch-like. And my new elfish-like moves are becoming pretty awesome. Thinking about it, my Mum never did say who my dad was... :smalleek:

[DranWork]

*quietly warms the bench watching the team get another glorious victory* Bah!


Glad we got to smash the elves back! hopefuly we can keep this streak for longer then 2 games eh?!

[Lord of Rapture]

Blood For The Blood God!

Skulls For The Skull Throne!

[SlyGuyMcFly]

We knocked holes in their line like whatever it is that puts holes into that holey cheese.

Like fermenting gasses?

[Cheesegear]

Also: Does anyone know how to link to specific posts? I want to start making an index in the first post.

Totally easy.

Clicking the number in the top corner of each post
http://i40.photobucket.com/albums/e202/Cheesegear/Thing.jpg

takes you to the direct link to that particular post
http://i40.photobucket.com/albums/e202/Cheesegear/Thing2.jpg

Because I'm amazing like this...
(Feel free to Quote this)
Clean Cup
Game 1 vs. Humans (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showpost.php?p=7443208&postcount=32)
Game 2 vs. Wood Elves (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showpost.php?p=7449139&postcount=50)
Game 3 vs. Lizardmen (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showpost.php?p=7462020&postcount=75)
Playoffs vs. Lizardmen (again!) (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showpost.php?p=7482087&postcount=88)
Final vs. Humans (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showpost.php?p=7487308&postcount=99)

Aerial Cup
Game 1 vs. Wood Elves (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showpost.php?p=7494886&postcount=105)

Also, now that you've got a number of games under your belt, presumably you've got a few SPPs rolling around. Care to give a proper list of who has what?

This thread has also inspired me to get cracking on my own Blood Bowl team.

[Jibar]

Meanwhile Jibar is spending some time in the infirmary after punching a hole in his skull while picking his nose waiting to play.

[potatocubed]

Hey, Jibar was on the field for a bit that match. He was nearby several important events.

Also, thanks Cheesegear! *yoink*

[Jibar]

I was in a match and didn't boop up?

Then where did this hole in my skull come from?

[Eldan]

You know, given the name of the team, you should totally try and hire a real giant. He could fall over and squash the enemy scrimmage :smallbiggrin:


((Yes, yes, I know they are not in the game. Still.)

[Wraith]

Meanwhile Jibar is spending some time in the infirmary after punching a hole in his skull while picking his nose waiting to play.

It could be worse - in the last 6 pictures with me in it, I've been either unconscious or being dragged off by a pair of panicky-looking Orderlies! :smalleek:

That settles it - Next game, I'm riding my horse onto the field and claiming Racial Discrimination against anyone that asks. I mean, Centaur players have just as many rights as the rest of us, right? :smallbiggrin:

[Johnny Blade]

They were more distracted when, guided by our strangely androgynous cheerleader, one of the dwarves threw a rock at one of the elf wingers - and by 'threw a rock' I mean 'fired a cannon'. That took him out of the picture.
Aye, me lads, I even shaved me beard off for ye. It be makin' a fine rug as well.

[Brother Oni]

We kicked off again and, again, we smashed through their lines like a cannonball through goblins. Again, they were having chronic trouble picking up the ball. The only thing that stood between the Giants and total domination of the pitch was that blasted treeman - until Onimaru pulled out a perfect lumberjack impression.

http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b194/potatocubed/LPBB/6-5-endoftreeman1.jpg


Stupid *kick* flipping *kick* treeman *kick* How'd *kick* you *kick* like *kick* the weedkiller *kick* you overgrown twig *kick**kick**kick*.

(The alternative was to find something that rhymes with the Lumberjack song from Monty Python, but there are dwarves out there with cannons...)



Note in the background of those two shots the utter carnage in the elves' infirmary. Two wardancers, a treeman, and three pointless schlubs. Nice work team!


*Chanting* Deeeaaaaad elf, deaaaad elf, dead elf, dead elf, deaaad elf, dead elf, deaaaad elffffff!!!! */chanting*




*punch*

Nice one, Onimaru.


No problem coach, it's what you're paying us for, right?

What was that? A 'dee furred rye in purse meant claws' in my contract? Dammit, small print... :smallsigh:



The whistle blew! The match was over. Victory was ours! I hear the next team might be orcs, who will give us a run - or rather, a fight - for our money, so no slacking!


So is this going to be a standup fight or another pig hunt?

[Joran]

The whistle blew! The match was over. Victory was ours! I hear the next team might be orcs, who will give us a run - or rather, a fight - for our money, so no slacking!


At least the league-sanctioned shiv should work well against the Orcs. Knuckles didn't expect the elves to bring a tree with them the first time, but he was prepared the second time. Don't ask how many officials needed to be bribed to bring the beetles onto the playfield.

What works well against Orcs? Or should the family heirloom brass knuckles and league-approved shiv be fine?

[Eldan]

Against orks? Fire. Lots of fire. Or holy warhammers, alternatively, wielded by barbarians who later become gods.

[Anonomuss]

Huzzah!

Winning is awesome.

I suppose those Orcs wouldn't mind obliging us by lying down while we score?

[potatocubed]

(Several of the second-half screenies are a bit screwed up for this one. I didn't notice they were going wrong until well after the match was over. :smallfrown:)

I tell you, these proper cups take a lot of moving around. After trekking down the mountain from playing the pansy elves, we headed north. I knew there was an orc team in the cup but it turned out we weren't playing them yet. Instead, we were scheduled against more elves. Great! I thought. Elves crunch like biscuits under an iron-shod boot.

Then we saw the stadium.

http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b194/potatocubed/LPBB/7-1-pitch.jpg

If you thought the dwarves were hardcore for playing on stone, these guys play on stone that is also on fire. The spears around the sidelines and the charred bones of fallen players added something of an intimidating atmosphere.

Yes, the Snakes were elves - but these weren't pansy wood elves, these were hard-fighting dark elves, and rumour had it that they invented pain. I gave the lads a stern talking to about the dangers of being distracted by witch elves, and pointed out that we'd been training to fight black orcs seven feet tall and five feet wide. Surely a few elves would be no problem. Right?

Right.

Our initial blitz was so sudden that Narazil caught our own kick-off:

http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b194/potatocubed/LPBB/7-2-blitz.jpg

The dark elves rallied quickly and mounted a defence:

http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b194/potatocubed/LPBB/7-3-defence.jpg

See what I mean about the witch elves? They may not be wearing much but everything they are wearing is made of spikes. Never mind the blitzers, who wear full armour covered in spikes. The only reason the assassin isn't wearing any spikes is because his are all hidden.

Rather than face the spikes, Narazil got smart and moved the ball sideways. Xeper caught the pass:

http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b194/potatocubed/LPBB/7-4-around.jpg

A quick hand-off later and Anegram sprinted the ball home for a record-speed touchdown. It was so fast I didn't even have time to take a proper picture of his victory dance.

http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b194/potatocubed/LPBB/7-5-anegramscores.jpg

After a bit of a laugh at the elves' expense, we kicked the ball their way again. The jokes might have been a mistake; they quickly cleared a space for their ball carrier to run through and prepared to do just that:

http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b194/potatocubed/LPBB/7-6-delvescounter.jpg

Dominic! Get in there!

http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b194/potatocubed/LPBB/7-7-domcountercounters.jpg

That red smear just next to Anegram is where the elves' ball carrier used to be.

It was about now that I learned just how slippery elves can be. In the clear one moment, Dominic was surrounded the next and quickly fell victim to a spike. Some fighting followed, with both teams scrambling for the ball. Finally, despite the punching from the players and the anatomically improbable threats from me, one of the witch elves got her hands on the ball and slung it downfield towards her waiting receivers!

http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b194/potatocubed/LPBB/7-8-passfail.jpg

Note how they're both just staring at it. Obadiah told me later that each expected the other one to catch it, so they just let it drop rather than admit defeat. Elven pride strikes again!

And that was the end of the first half: 1-0 up! We had it all to play for and we were receiving. I decided to give some of the more frequently-benched players a chance to shine - yes, even Jibar.

The second half started well. Anonomuss scooped up the ball so easily anyone would think he'd been practicing. The front lines clashed as usual. It seemed that the dark elf assassin who Obadiah had watched humiliate himself earlier was out for a bit of revenge:

http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b194/potatocubed/LPBB/7-9-obadstabbed.jpg

A knife in the back! That's low. Just as well, though, 'cos if it had been any higher it might have hit something vital.

But that was only a minor setback - in that shot you can see two of the front-line players in the clear after some judicious application of fist-based persuasion. Anonomuss made the pass look like he'd been practicing that, too, and Sir Alexander went hurtling up the pitch, ball in hand!

http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b194/potatocubed/LPBB/7-10-alexgoes.jpg

He attracted some attention...

http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b194/potatocubed/LPBB/7-11-eek.jpg

But not enough to stop him!

http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b194/potatocubed/LPBB/7-12-alexscores.jpg

Two-nil! I don't know if these 'Chaos Wastes' have bars, but if they do they're going to be rocking to the sound of GIANT VICTORY tonight!

Jibar charitably kicked the ball as far into the elves' half as he could:

http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b194/potatocubed/LPBB/7-13-jibarkicks.jpg

The dark elves formed up around their ball-carrier, the star blitzer Toraleys. The Giants punched their way through the defenders with that cheery style that's becoming their signature when fighting teams weaker than they are. Toraleys was soon being menaced by... well, almost everyone.

http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b194/potatocubed/LPBB/7-14-blitz.jpg

The defenders were good. If I was going to take that ball home for a proper, crushing 3-0 victory I was going to have to get daring. Jibar! Get in there!

http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b194/potatocubed/LPBB/7-15-jibarsaves.jpg

Do you know what happened next? Can you guess?

Jibar hit that blitzer so hard he may never use his groin again. He could probably taste his own testicles as he crawled off the pitch, sobbing like a girl. Well, not really like a girl, since the only girls who play Blood Bowl are wardancers and witch elves (and maybe some of the trolls - would you check them?) and they're not to be messed with.

A little more skirmishing for the ball followed. The clock counted down. The dark elves couldn't win at this point, but they were struggling tooth and nail to keep the defeat semi-respectable. In the closing moments of the match Anegram seized the ball, but a glance at the clock told him he would never make it to the end zone in time to score.

But wait! Who's that loitering in the dark elves' end zone? It's only JIBAR!!

http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b194/potatocubed/LPBB/7-16-jibscores.jpg

I saw the fear in his eyes as he realised how stupid he would look if he dropped this pass.

He didn't!

The Giants ploughed their way home to a 3-0 victory! All those spikes amounted to nothing more than a convenient place to store mid-match snacks and a savage injury for one of the elves after Dominic knocked him off the pitch. Bring on the orcs!

Oh, and Jibar won the MVP award as well.


- * -

Well, that went well. :smallcool:

I remember a post up-thread wanted to see the stats of the players. This is a screenshot from the team-editing program I'm using to give a breadth of skills, since the actual Blood Bowl interface doesn't let me get all my players on one screen:

http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b194/potatocubed/LPBB/7-17-stats.jpg

I explained the basic stats (MV/ST/AG/AV) somewhere else. Of the other stats, value is calculated by the computer using a system I'm not familiar with; XP (properly termed Star Player Points, or SPP) is earned by doing things like completing passes, inflicting casualties, scoring, etc.; and level is gained by accumulating SPP/XP. Each time you go up a level you get a new skill, or a possible stat increase. Age is a bit of a special case - it starts at 100 and gets lower as your player suffers 'wear and tear'. Playing matches, getting hit, suffering injuries, etc. I know that a low age score is bad, but I don't know exactly what it does.

Since you can't see the skills on that display, here's the list:
Narazil has Catch, which makes him a better catcher (and interceptor). He's also 1 point away from level 3 and his second skill.

Jibar picked up Kick after the last match, which makes him better at kicking off.

Anonomuss has Strong Arm, which makes long passes easier.

Obadiah the Slim has Diving Tackle, which lets him make dodging away from him more difficult at the cost of him ending up prone.

Sir Alexander has just picked up Guard, which makes him a really handy guy to have around. I'm tempted to swap it for Dauntless, though, which would help him knock over minotaurs, trolls, kroxigors, etc.

Xeper has +1 AG, which is just quality.

Anegram has just picked up Sprint, to go with his 'Long Legs' nickname. That gives him a possible extra square of movement.

Fullbladder has +1 MA, which proved useful for marking slippery dark elves in the last match.

Dominic and Onimaru have both got Block, which makes them more useful in a fight.

[Johnny Blade]

Go Giants! :smallbiggrin:

I, as the cheerleader, should probably write something like a hymn or so one of those days, huh?

(The AI set up pretty weirdly though, didn't it?)

[Jibar]

I...
Guys
Guys
I blacked out. What happened?
I remember a good first half and then blood oh God blood on my hands
...I'm not bleeding, but there's blood on my hands...

[potatocubed]

(The AI set up pretty weirdly though, didn't it?)

The Blood Bowl AI is... not great. A veteran of the tabletop game (like yours truly) can pretty much cane the hell out of it every time. I'm running a tweaked version at the moment, which is better than the basic, but it's still not exactly hugely challenging.

[Brother Oni]

/me wonders if he could put spikes on top of other spikes to make blocking more fun*?


*fun for the opponent's apothecary who's going to need a calculator to tot up all the holes inflicted after a successful block

[Johnny Blade]

The Blood Bowl AI is... not great. A veteran of the tabletop game (like yours truly) can pretty much cane the hell out of it every time. I'm running a tweaked version at the moment, which is better than the basic, but it's still not exactly hugely challenging.
Yeah, well, I saw what I made out to be Witch Elves in the center, and...well, well. Certainly didn't do that too often.

(There was this one match which I finished - and won - with 4 players, of course, but that hardly counts.)

[xp194]

I...
Guys
Guys
I blacked out. What happened?
I remember a good first half and then blood oh God blood on my hands
...I'm not bleeding, but there's blood on my hands...

Don't worry Jibar. It was fine.

Your next drink is on me. Probably best if you don't ask why.

[Wraith]

http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b194/potatocubed/LPBB/7-6-delvescounter.jpg

Dammit, there I am again! Two turns in, and I'm face down in a pool of my own teeth. I must be forming a callous over my brain by now, surely.... :smalltongue:


....and Sir Alexander went hurtling up the pitch, ball in hand!

He attracted some attention...

But not enough to stop him!

http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b194/potatocubed/LPBB/7-12-alexscores.jpg

"The Unstoppable Alexander Leccancia" - I like the sounds of that! Quick, someone commission a T-Shirt with that slogan on the front, we'll make millions! :smallbiggrin:


I know that a low age score is bad, but I don't know exactly what it does.

It's a mechanic that's rolled over from 'Chaos League', the game previously made by the Cyanide guys. In that game, the lower your Age then the easier you were to get injured, and when it hit 0 that Player was forcibly retired from playing, encouraging you to realistically train up new Players rather than rely on the same 11 guys that will eventually just fall to pieces. I expect that the same thing happens in 'Blood Bowl'.

No great surprise then, that Sir Alexander is already the most brutalised Player in the team!


Sir Alexander has just picked up Guard, which makes him a really handy guy to have around. I'm tempted to swap it for Dauntless, though, which would help him knock over minotaurs, trolls, kroxigors, etc.

I think you made a better choice with Guard, to be honest. There generally aren't enough Teams that use Big Guys to make Dauntless a first-pick skill, whereas Guard is useful against everyone regardless of size and skill.
Besides, in my experience it's best to just avoid the Ogres and Trolls until you have 4 or 5 guys spare to gang up and take them down, rather than rely on one fragile guy to get the job done (And I'm not just saying that because *I* happen to be that one fragile guy! :smallbiggrin: )

[DranWork]

Just a quick question for the coach Tater'sSquare are you playing it in real time or turn based?

Personaly ive found turnbased to be the harder of the 2 options as one mistake and its a turnover (which can suck when your setting something up and it all hinges on one man...)

[Joran]

Just a quick question for the coach Tater'sSquare are you playing it in real time or turn based?

Personaly ive found turnbased to be the harder of the 2 options as one mistake and its a turnover (which can suck when your setting something up and it all hinges on one man...)

That's what rerolls are for. Also, iffy rolls should be saved until the end, like single blocks. Sometimes, it's better not to single block and risk falling down. I have however had a double block roll two attacker downs twice in a row. I didn't take solace in the fact that that was a 1 in 64 chance =P

I noticed a distinct lack of The Honorable Spencer "Knuckles" Montagu, the 28th Earl of Sandwich in the snapshots. Was he caught trying to sneak an illegal weapon onto the pitch? He thought it'd be Orcs and requisitioned a flame thrower for the occasion, but the backpack might have given him away.

[littlebottom]

After a bit of a laugh at the elves' expense, we kicked the ball their way again. The jokes might have been a mistake; they quickly cleared a space for their ball carrier to run through and prepared to do just that:

http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b194/potatocubed/LPBB/7-6-delvescounter.jpg


ok... theres me! first time on the pitch ever! and theeeen... i disapear?:smalleek: i guess this means i got killed in such a brutal way that they had to edit that bit out?

[potatocubed]

You are correct: double-skulls is a 1/36 chance, and double-skulls followed by double-skulls is thus a 1/1296 chance.

I'm playing the game turn-based - what I wanted when I bought Blood Bowl was an electronic simulation of the tabletop game, and that's exactly what I got. I haven't even really tried the real-time game. =/

[Anonomuss]

ok... theres me! first time on the pitch ever!

*Ahem*



http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b194/potatocubed/LPBB/6-16-knucklesmakesamistake.jpg


---


and theeeen... i disapear?:smalleek: i guess this means i got killed in such a brutal way that they had to edit that bit out?

Well, our honourable coach, Mad John Potato tends to rotate the team across the match to try and spread the experience equally (Hence, why Jibar is in the match after spending the first half on the bench). I wouldn't worry, I'd say he'd want to show any and all casualties, if only to berate our Apothecary (Who's obviously been doing a great job, as none of us have passed on [As in, to the next life]).

Or at least that's the way I thought it went. Am I right coach?

[Brother Oni]

Or at least that's the way I thought it went. Am I right coach?

I thought it was to do with the age trait and rather than wear a couple of us out and have to replace them, he's rotating the roster so we all get worn out equally. :smallbiggrin:

[Johnny Blade]

What exactly does aging do to a player anyway?

[Anonomuss]

In the 4th ed of the TT rules, it caused injuries (Could be a niggling, or a -1 to one of your characteristics). I don't think it's modelled the same way in the game though.

[Johnny Blade]

Well, maybe it is. I'm asking because this isn't part of Living Rulebook 5, which the game's based on.
Of course, maybe it only affects certain modes.

[Wraith]

Well, maybe it is. I'm asking because this isn't part of Living Rulebook 5, which the game's based on.
Of course, maybe it only affects certain modes.

That's because it's not from LRB v5 - it's from v4. (pg 41) (http://209.85.229.132/search?q=cache:ow1a5ZnvHBsJ:www.bloodbowlonline.co m/LivingRulebook4-rev.pdf+aging+in+blood+bowl&cd=1&hl=en&ct=clnk&gl=uk)

It's as I suspected, though done in a different way. In the Table Top game, every time a player Advances a level (going by v4, by the way - I'm aware that v5 is different) they have to roll 2d6 and, if the result is lower than the DC for their Rank, they then roll on a second table which inflicts some kind of penalty on them; most likely a Niggling Injury, but alternatively -1 MA, ST, AG or AV. Worse yet, these effects are cumulatively, so an unlucky player can get crippled very early on with some unlucky rolls.

The Video Game of Blood Bowl seems to be running like the system in Chaos League - the very similar game created by Cyanide Studios before they were contracted to make BB. In that one, every game a Player takes part on moves their Age closer to 0, with Injuries and KO's speeding up the decline. When it hits 0, they're forcibly retired from the game.

It's about as close to 'realism' as the game got, in that the more you used your Players the faster they would peak in their ability, but also the faster they would burn out.

[Johnny Blade]

That was only in Chaos League's add-on, though.
Which was fun, in general, and a lot more balanced than the original (Fireball spam!), but, well, it included aging. And you just couldn't switch it off.



Which leads to a question: Can you switch it off in Blood Bowl?

[potatocubed]

Which leads to a question: Can you switch it off in Blood Bowl?

Nope. Although you can download bbedit and manually reset the aging every so often. I don't, because I like the extra touch, but it's an option.

My match plans do tend to involve rotating people on and off the pitch. Against hard teams I field all the first-string players. Against less tough teams I try to give everyone a go.

In normal BB I tend to play my first team at all times unless forced to do otherwise by injuries, but since this team is made up of forum member avatars I feel obligated to give everyone a chance to shine, so to speak.

[xp194]

I'd suggest using BBEdit to stop us from being forced to retire, but still keep us quite low in the Age stat when we get down there.

Just so's we can choose to retire when we spend more of the time in the infirmary than on the pitch :-p

[Brother Oni]

I'm personally looking forward to when I can retire, like a battered old warhorse put out to pasture.

That way I can act like a crochety old man, waving my cane* and shouting at all the young players about how they have it so easy. :smallbiggrin:


*actually a sword cane - I am an ex-blood bowl player...

[Wraith]

Like some aged, elitist Anti-Cheerleader, Brother Oni?

"Two! Four! Six! Eight! Who do we appreciate? NO ONE! You kids and your loud music and hippity hoppity fads, that ain't Blood Bowl! In MY day the pitches were longer! And the Ball was heavier! Even the Dwarves were bigger! You snot-nosed brats wouldn't last 2 turnovers in a REAL game!"

"...Go, Giants." :smallbiggrin:

[Brother Oni]

And armour! In my day we didn't have your fancy la-di-dah kevlar and ceramic mesh stuff, we had two thick phone books and if you were lucky, a hammered colander and we were GLAD for it!

You call that violence? In my day when you tackled someone, you broke their leg, none of this 'tactical grounding' malarky! When you tackled a dark elf, you had enough holes in you to play a 5 player game of chinese checkers! And that was a sucessful tackle!

And none of this free extra moving stuff - when you wanted to move an extra square, you had to roll for it and if you got a 6, you were off the pitch injured!

The referees... what a bunch of limp wristed lilly livered pansies you've got now. MY referees were REAL men! They enforced their rulings with chainsaws!

You young 'uns don't know how easy you got it... *is carted off to a padded cell*

[Wraith]

You young 'uns don't know how easy you got it... *is carted off to a padded cell*

Is it bad that I've almost had this happen to me in real life, with regards to Blood Bowl? :smalltongue:

I was in a GW talking with some of the staff (they were about to close, so they were all clustered around the front desk to chat with me and the other, last-to-leave customer) just before Space Hulk was relaunched. At the time, even the staff didnt know what game they were going to be playtesting the next day when they received their advance copy, and the conversation was a discussion of what it might be: Space Hulk, Epic 40k, Warhammer Quest, Mordheim or Blood Bowl.

I suggested that it was the latter, because the video game wasn't far away from launch and it seemed like a good idea to relaunch the board game as a way of maximising the publicity for both, but mentioned that I was wary of GW doing so because I really liked the current rules and didnt want any drastic changes.
In particular the adoption of Turn Overs, which in the original version of the game didn't exist and made the game much slower. Everyone present agreed that Blood Bowl was better when it was faster.

They were, however, unfamiliar with the game and even though they appreciated faster games, they didn't believe me when I said that in the original rerelease (that is, LRB v1) taking more than 4 minutes to complete your turn caused a Turn Over. Eventually the manager was called and, being the oldest person in the room, confidently stated "Yes, I remember that, and I'm really glad that they dropped that house-rule from the Tournaments because it was really hard to referee."

I replied "What do you mean house-rule for Tournaments? That rule was written into the original Main Rule Book, even for casual players to obey."

Cue funny looks of disbelief, an awkward silence and eventually an agreement that "That's harsh...." before I was given a reminder that the store was closed and that we need to leave so they can go and play their new game.... :smallbiggrin:

[Brother Oni]

Well I remember trying to play a 2nd ed game of Blood Bowl with the Star Players and Blood Bowl Companion splat books with all the optional rules. I think it took us about an hour to to score the first touchdown, after which we just gave up (first to three won back then).

I think I still got the White Dwarf article with rules for Fatties and Judges from Judge Dredd for 1st ed Blood Bowl, which was just a repackaged WFB, knocking around somewhere. :smallbiggrin:

[potatocubed]

ARGH! THE ORCS!

Yes, there was only one team left in this group that we hadn't played, and they were huge and green. We had the option to mess with the pansy elves again, but I decided the Giants needed a proper fight against a team that was tougher than them. Give them some real experience.

Wait, this pitch looks familiar...

http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b194/potatocubed/LPBB/8-1-pitch.jpg

Yes, the orcs came to us. It would be another game on the pitch of stone and fire that was surrounded by spikes - and the orcs wore a lot more armour than the elves.

Things got off to a predictable start. We received, Anonomuss seized the ball. The orcs went to work on the front lines, scoring knock-out punches all over the place. Not wanting to face the orcs, Anonomuss ran wide and went for the long pass up the pitch:

http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b194/potatocubed/LPBB/8-2-wetrytoscore.jpg

Despite there being three people up there, the ball didn't find anybody. It just bounced out into the open where the orcs could grab it in their big, meaty hands. One of the orcs got an even better idea and grabbed Dominic Rapture's head in his big, meaty hands and gave it such a twisting I thought it would come off!

http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b194/potatocubed/LPBB/8-3-domisout.jpg

Luckily Bucky was about with some sort of spring-loaded 'neck-straightening' contraption. I left Dominic in his twitching, bloodstained hands and returned my attention to the match.

http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b194/potatocubed/LPBB/8-4-theorcisunguarded.jpg

Straight away I noticed a fatal flaw in the orcs' plans. Narazil and Fullbladder were dispatched to make sure that ball didn't get any further down the pitch, and they did so with aplomb. A few well-placed fists (and knees, and elbows) later, and Anegram was sprinting away down the pitch, ball in hand. He was just too fast for the orcs! They couldn't catch him!

http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b194/potatocubed/LPBB/8-5-hesjusttoofast.jpg

http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b194/potatocubed/LPBB/8-6-anegramscores.jpg

The first half ended with nothing but more violence. Sadly, yet another of my team's trusty bruisers - Putis Bile-Tongue - had his face rearranged by the orcs.

http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b194/potatocubed/LPBB/8-7-varagtakesoutputis.jpg

Of course, Putis got a prestigious punch in the gob from none other than the infamous Varag Ghoul-Chewer. There are collectors out there who'd pay thousands for a face punched by Varag. If only Putis wasn't using his for other things...

Half time came and went. So many of the Giants were off the pitch by the time the second half rolled around that I had no choice but to field everyone who was left.

The orcs lined up six of their hardest players - four black orcs, a troll and Varag Ghoul-Chewer - on the line of scrimmage. While their thrower snatched up the ball, the aristocracy got pulverised. The orcs' lone goblin player scooted through our line and started heading down-field. Anegram took full opportunity of the gap the little guy left: his long legs carried him right into the orc ball-carrier's face:

http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b194/potatocubed/LPBB/8-8-anegramsacksthethrower.jpg

It was only a temporary upswing. One of the blitzers grabbed the ball and moved it towards the halfway line. Narazil, Istari and Anegram were all in position to receive the ball and score, but the orcs were just too tough. Things went from bad to worse when the troll lumbered over to help protect the ball-carrier. Then, through a sudden chink in the orcs' defence, Xeper managed to get a hand to the ball:

http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b194/potatocubed/LPBB/8-9-thepass.jpg

Is that a beautiful pass or what?

http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b194/potatocubed/LPBB/8-10-therun.jpg

Go Istari go!

http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b194/potatocubed/LPBB/8-11-istariscores.jpg

NICE.

We kicked off to the orcs again - Jibar's skilful kicking foot was earning his pay this week - and they had an attack of not knowing what to do. Almost half the Giants on the pitch decided to help them out. You know, demonstrate how to play the game.

http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b194/potatocubed/LPBB/8-12-closingin.jpg

A few broken teeth later...

http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b194/potatocubed/LPBB/8-13-andagain.jpg

He was so quick this time I didn't even have time to see him dancing.

And that was the end of the match! Another 3-0 win for the Giants; I think we're starting to get good at this. We've still got the Aerial Cup playoffs to do yet, and then... who knows? The sky's the limit boys!


- * -

And with that stunning victory - I mean, the only time the ball was even in the Giants' half was after the orcs' kick-off - this is going on hiatus until the 4th of January or so since I will be away from my gaming computer for Christmas. We shall return to your regularly scheduled sports in a couple of weeks!

[xp194]

Nice to see that Xeper is becoming a bit of a star player. No touchdowns yet, but man does he set some up!

[† Dran †]

saaawweeeet! When I retire I can sell my face!! Hazzar!

Another victory eh? Damn its good living the high life, maybe if we keep winning I can get some gold teeth to replace the ones I lost!:smallwink:

[DemonicAngel]

It appears Anegram is just good at this game. glad I can help the team and all :)

[chiasaur11]

Wow.

Seems you guys got better while I was gone.

Might even have a chance at a title before we're all dead.

[Anonomuss]

Yeah, we're actually getting really good. I'm actually starting to look forward to getting up to the higher tiers.

[potatocubed]

The third tournament should be tougher, since the teams in that are often heavily skilled. Of course the AI sucks mightily at picking skills, so it's still a bit of a lottery: the Bramble Blockers' treeman, for example, has Dodge. It's got MV 2, AG 1 and Dodge.

[Wraith]

Well, you can kinda see the logic in that - if you're needing 6's to walk past someone without falling over, getting a reroll is probably quite handy! :smalltongue:

Although a S7 Block/Dodge Treeman would be a pain in the neck to knock down, and no mistake!

[Eldan]

Wow. And I thought it was bad when it offered me to hire a gutter runner with the skill that lets it substitute strength for agility when determining dodge rolls.

[Johnny Blade]

Well, you can kinda see the logic in that - if you're needing 6's to walk past someone without falling over, getting a reroll is probably quite handy! :smalltongue:

Although a S7 Block/Dodge Treeman would be a pain in the neck to knock down, and no mistake!
Of course, that kinda requires Block. :smallbiggrin:

Honestly, just coding it so that any of the big guys that happens to roll a double that isn't also a possible stat increase takes Block unless he has it already might have been boring, sure, but it would have made a bit more sense than, well, whatever the code is like.



Anyways, in my function as the team's cheerleader, I'll compose a great hymn - or what a dwarven cheerleader would consider one - tomorrow or so.
For that, I'd need to know something about the Playground Giants' players and staff, though, so it would be good if you all could write two or three sentences about your characters here.

[Lord of Rapture]

Apparently we went from getting our asses handed to us by pansy elves to getting a flawless victory over orcs.

Clearly my devotion to the gods has been rewarding.

[Wraith]

Of course, that kinda requires Block. :smallbiggrin:

Hmm, I thought Treemen had access to the General skills list as standard - turns out they need a Double for that now, too.

Ah well; he's halfway there, and if I had 2 double rolls to choose skills from I'd probably go for Dodge before Block, too. :smallsmile:


For that, I'd need to know something about the Playground Giants' players and staff, though, so it would be good if you all could write two or three sentences about your characters here.

"Sir" Alexander Leccancia; down-on-his-luck Knight Errant of Bretonnia, forced to turn to Blood Bowl after his Squire went lame and his horse was press-ganged as a 'mate onto an Empirial 'Trading vessel'.
An aspiring Blitzer who will absolutely not resort to cheating and foul play - lest the Lady of the Lake show him disfavour - and absolutely will pummel anyone he sees resort to such dirty tricks against his Team mates!

[DemonicAngel]

Anegram "long legs" Fribin, a simple pickpocket which always knew how to run away from trouble, and at least tried to fight what he couldn't outrun.
He runs like a bat out of hell, and was forced to enlist to the team after he tried to rob a sponsor... he after found out he can be quiet darn good in this game and he's playing ever since.

[Pilum]

Been a fun read so far. Personally I'm loving the game too, so many trips down memory lane to old seasons with older friends...

Just thought I'd chip in to add my two penn'orth on the aging thing. The manual says you start with 100 and it goes down after each match and each time you're knocked down or injured. Hit 0 and it's off to spend some time with your remaining limbs :smallwink:

Regarding AI skill picks, well the AI has problems in other areas (refusing to risk a 1-on-1 block roll even when I'm dashing to the line with only this one guy who can stop me is a common one) but I've noticed more team rosters that would have had me outright accuse my opponent of cheating in the 'real' world ("Two human blitzers with S5? Let me see those dice a minute...") than "uh, you picked WHAT?". That said, there's one Chaos team it's generated which has no skills, just mutations. Quite characterful, I think. :smallsmile:

[Lord Fullbladder, Master of Goblins]

"Various" Fullbladder, a big-yet-nondescript man with a quick tongue and confusing reasons for joining the team. He has, at varying times, explained that he joined for the merchandising deals; he joined to follow in the footsteps of a famous realtive; he joined to escape a local lynch mob; or he joined because some part of him enjoys seeing ribs protruding from his own chest. He doesn't even try keeping stories straight with individual people.

[Dixieboy]

The third tournament should be tougher, since the teams in that are often heavily skilled. Of course the AI sucks mightily at picking skills, so it's still a bit of a lottery: the Bramble Blockers' treeman, for example, has Dodge. It's got MV 2, AG 1 and Dodge.

Still waiting for one of those dwarven tanks with leap..

Actually that'd be pretty terrifying.

[Istari]

Yes, we were awesome.

[littlebottom]

soooo... this game is dead?

[xp194]

I hope not...

[potatocubed]

I hope not too.

...wait.

Right. Decision made. I shall play another game tonight! Hopefully that'll get me back into the swing of things.

:smallannoyed: <-- resolve face

[potatocubed]

We were in the playoffs for the Aerial Cup. Of course, we were always going to be in the playoffs for the Aerial Cup, since there were only four teams, but it still counts.

For our semifinal we would be playing the Black Snakes again, the dark elf team who had introduced us to this made-of-stone-and-also-on-fire stadium, and who we had soundly crushed not many matches ago. It was time to fold, spindle and mutilate some lightly-armoured elves once again. All those spikes don't mean a thing, right lads?

Now, the first rule of showing up to a fight is 'bring your mates'. So I should have expected the dark elves to show up with a few extra guys after their drubbing last time round. I didn't expect them to bring the whole crowd. There were so many black-clad supporters out there that it looked like night had fallen early. When the dark elves kicked the ball it was like a signal. This happened:

http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b194/potatocubed/LPBB/9-1-pitchinvasion.jpg

Sure, so they got a bit overenthusiastic and took out one of their own guys, but it wasn't a great start. My long-honed coaching instincts told me to drive down the other side of the pitch, where I actually had some players on their feet.

http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b194/potatocubed/LPBB/9-2-goleft.jpg

Anonomuss had the ball. Narazil was in prime position to catch it. The pass!

http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b194/potatocubed/LPBB/9-3-pass.jpg

But it was not to be. The ball slipped from Narazil's hands and into the crowd. The unfriendly crowd. The sneaky, dastardly crowd. Did they throw the ball back in like they were supposed to? No. They kept it. They taunted us with it. I was just about to unleash the reserves on the crowd to get it back when, all of a sudden:

http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b194/potatocubed/LPBB/9-4-wtf.jpg

Where did that come from?

Predictably, this followed:

http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b194/potatocubed/LPBB/9-5-drat.jpg

This had the stink of scumbag cheatery all over it. Still, that's Blood Bowl! The lads lined up to receive again and I tried to concoct an attack plan of such surpassing treachery that the dark elves would just pack up and go home in despair. Anonomuss grabbed the ball, then-- wait, where did he come from?

http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b194/potatocubed/LPBB/9-6-waitwhat.jpg

Never mind. Anonomuss had no plans to hang on to the ball.

http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b194/potatocubed/LPBB/9-7-ouch.jpg

...although I don't think that's what he had in mind.

Still, in a close-in fistfight us beefy humans had the advantage. It was Knuckles who snagged the ball and sent it upfield to the waiting Narazil, who caught it this time! Sadly, this didn't help him hold onto it for much longer than the last one.

http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b194/potatocubed/LPBB/9-8-naraziljustcantholdit.jpg

Never mind! A bit of judicious kicking later, and the scene looked like this:

http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b194/potatocubed/LPBB/9-9-obadiah.jpg

Narazil had been stretchered off after one of those assassins stabbed him, but Obadiah was in the clear! He swept the ball up and sprinted for the end zone. But what was that on his shoes? It was... Narazil's blood? Right on the very edge of scoring he slipped! He stumbled!

http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b194/potatocubed/LPBB/9-10-obadiahyes.jpg

He scored anyway!

Well, after that there wasn't much time left in the first half so I backed off a bit. Then... tragedy struck. It struck Dominic Rapture. In the face. And the throat. And the guts. Several times.

http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b194/potatocubed/LPBB/9-11-FFFUUUUUU.jpg

"Put him back together!" I screamed at the Doc. "I need his unstoppable mutilating skills! Don't talk to me about 'inhuman physiology'! I don't care what he's got growing inside him!"

My pep talk failed. Dominic had mutilated his last.

This meant war.

The war did not start well in the second half:

http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b194/potatocubed/LPBB/9-12-jibarcrowd.jpg

After placing the ball neatly in the far corner of the pitch with his talented kicking boot, Jibar was placed neatly off the pitch entirely by one of the witch elves. The crowd, as always, were happy to apply boots of their own.

Since Jibar seemed to be making a pretty good job of crawling away from the enraged fans, Knuckles decided to replace him with the witch elf in question.

http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b194/potatocubed/LPBB/9-13-womancrowd.jpg

By the time the crowd realised their mistake, that was her game well and truly over. Meanwhile Istari, Anegram and Fullbladder raced to take the ball off the dark elf who was cowering by his own end zone and everyone else got to putting the boot in to some pansy elven backside. Dominic would not go unavenged!

Then:

http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b194/potatocubed/LPBB/9-14-waitwhat2.jpg

Wait, where did he come from?

http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b194/potatocubed/LPBB/9-15-nooo.jpg

This didn't look good. We were 2-1 down and heading for full time.

http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b194/potatocubed/LPBB/9-16-ihavenoidea.jpg

I have no idea how this happened or who is scoring, it was that fast. It was suddenly 2-2 and extra time was upon us. CHAAAAARGE!

http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b194/potatocubed/LPBB/9-17-charge.jpg

Note how Anegram and Xeper have neatly exploited the hole Istari has punched in their defence. Note how, moments later, almost the entire team is up-field, leaving flattened and mutilated dark elves in their wake. (The other witch elf suffered a permanent injury somewhere in there, too.)

http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b194/potatocubed/LPBB/9-18-goxepergo.jpg

There was a slightly worrying moment when Jibar got sent off for putting the boot firmly into a dark elf who has the lack of sense to put his face into easy stomping range by lying down on the pitch, but:

http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b194/potatocubed/LPBB/9-19-victory.jpg

YEEEESS! Xeper scores us a winning touchdown!

There was some extra time left, a sporting opportunity for the dark elves to equalise again. The team made good use of it by ignoring the ball and crippling as many dark elves as they could reach, although the Black Snake crowd did manage to drop Anegram with a thrown rock.

But it was for nothing: we had won! We were in the finals! Again!


- * -

Dominic was killed when the dark elf blocked him, so I used the apothecary to reroll it (as you do) and got a second killed result. :smallsigh: That's a 1-in-144 chance, folks. And he was doing so well.

On the bright side, Littlebottom picked up +1 AG without actually setting foot on the pitch this game. I don't know where he learned those moves, but I suspect time spent with the dark elf cheerleaders.

[Jibar]

"THIS IS FOR WHATEVER HIS NAME IS"

Alternately:

"ARRRR WHAT IS GOING ON WHY DO YOU KEEP PUTTING ME ON THE FIELD."

[xp194]

Whoot!

TOUCHDOWN! TOUCHDOWN! TOUCHDOWN!

[littlebottom]

Well, after that there wasn't much time left in the first half so I backed off a bit. Then... tragedy struck. It struck Dominic Rapture. In the face. And the throat. And the guts. Several times.

http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b194/potatocubed/LPBB/9-11-FFFUUUUUU.jpg

"Put him back together!" I screamed at the Doc. "I need his unstoppable mutilating skills! Don't talk to me about 'inhuman physiology'! I don't care what he's got growing inside him!"

My pep talk failed. Dominic had mutilated his last.

Dominic was killed when the dark elf blocked him, so I used the apothecary to reroll it (as you do) and got a second killed result. :smallsigh: That's a 1-in-144 chance, folks. And he was doing so well.

On the bright side, Littlebottom picked up +1 AG without actually setting foot on the pitch this game. I don't know where he learned those moves, but I suspect time spent with the dark elf cheerleaders.

first of all, i think we should have a minutes silence for the loss of our team mate...

*one minute later*

wow, now thats done. i do have to say that i didnt know that you could get spikey underwear... but after an encounter with the dark elf cheerleaders i know now that spikey thongs are quite comfortable.... did i just say that out loud?:smalleek::smalltongue:

but with +1 agility, looks like im the guy who scores on (and off) the pitch :smallamused:

[Narazil]

Butter hands.

http://www.seaweedcafe.com/images/events/butterHands.jpg

Just saying.

[Lord of Rapture]

Master....I have failed thee....

Forgive me...

[DemonicAngel]

whoho, we won!... good job on the slip-and-td thing :P

[Klose_the_Sith]

This thread meets with my exhaustive approval process :smallwink:

[DranWork]

Sweet as! we won again and Dom.Rap died! What a glorious game indeed! :smallbiggrin:


(mean no disrespect rapt, but its about time one of us joined the BB hall of fame)

[xp194]

So... uh... are we going to be dying horribly winning gloriously again any time soon?

[potatocubed]

Yes. Things slowed down while I decided to create a NWN2 mod, but they should pick up again now the toolset has eaten it for the third time and I have given up in a cloud of expletives.

I also have a terrible attention span and need regular reminding.

[littlebottom]

you should set yourself a date for it that way we know you still intend to carry on too.

[potatocubed]

Right. Tonight if I have time. If not, Saturday. Then I'll try to stick to Saturdays-if-not-more-often.

Plan'd.

[Lord Loss]

Wow! The gaints really are getting good... Did this die? I hope not!

[potatocubed]

A day late, but here it comes!

Watch this space...

See below!

[potatocubed]

We didn't have far to travel for the next match. In fact, we didn't have anywhere to travel for the next match. Apparently the dwarf stadium had fallen off the side of the mountain or something, so all the matches were taking place in the stadium of stone-that-is-also-on-fire.

I did think about hiring one of the locals to replace Dominic, but I decided I would rather spend the money on a beach house somewhere warm. We still had fifteen players ready to lay down their lives on the field of dreams - well, if your dreams involve neverending bloody violence and a crowd baying for blood - and that was good enough for me.

Turned out they might be more likely to lay down their lives than they thought: our opponents in the final match of the Aerial Cup were the Severed 'Eads, a team of orcs so tough people would describe a really tough pair of boots as being 'tougher than the Severed 'Eads'. Then one of the orcs would eat them.

The match started, appropriately enough, with an act of violence. Apparently one of the fans still held a grudge from the last match he had seen the referee in, so he shot him with a crossbow. We didn't want to wait for the NFC to wrangle up a new referee, so we got started. It was pretty predictable:

http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b194/potatocubed/LPBB/9-1-predictablestart.jpg

Seeing most of the orcs pouring down the middle, Anonomuss was inspired to move the ball somewhere else. He moved it right, and Anegram took off down the pitch like he was being chased by a pack of bloodthirsty orcs - which he was.

http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b194/potatocubed/LPBB/9-2-goanegramgo.jpg

Knuckles, perhaps emboldened by some pre-match concoction, decided to take on Varag Ghoul-chewer, the orc star player who has been crumpling men into tiny cubes and building houses out of them for the past 20 years.

http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b194/potatocubed/LPBB/9-3-knucklesgetsanarmbroken.jpg

I haven't seen limbs that floppy in a while. On the down side, Knuckles is going to be out for the rest of this game and the next one. On the up side, he now dances the electric boogaloo better than anyone I've ever seen.

Meanwhile...

http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b194/potatocubed/LPBB/9-4-anegramscores.jpg

Anegram's long legs took him well clear of the orc defenders and all the way to the end zone. That's what you get for not paying attention, orcs!

We kicked off. Orcs are notoriously hard to get the ball from once they've got their giant green paws on it, but seeing an opening in their defence Fullbladder decided to have a go:

http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b194/potatocubed/LPBB/9-5-fullbladdergoes.jpg

http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b194/potatocubed/LPBB/9-6-fullbladdergone.jpg

http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b194/potatocubed/LPBB/9-7-fullbladdercantpickuptheball.jpg
That red splotch in front of Alexander Leccancia used to be a black orc.

He just couldn't get his hands on the ball! Fortunately, neither could the orcs. The half ended with us one-nil up and kicking to the orcs again. Despite the referee being 'indisposed' the press of violence had just been too intense for us to take advantage and maul any prostrate orc players! Not that it's easy to knock an orc down in the first place...

In any case, the second half opened with Onimaru being clotheslined off his feet during an ill-advised dodge. That was him out of the running for the rest of the match. The orcs grabbed the ball and bundled it down the pitch in the centre of an unstoppable mob.

http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b194/potatocubed/LPBB/9-9-notethecage.jpg

http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b194/potatocubed/LPBB/9-10-wrognendofthepitchguys.jpg

Their thrower broke clear, only a short run from our end zone! Only one man was close enough to stop him: JIBAR.

http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b194/potatocubed/LPBB/9-12-jibar!!!.jpg

He did it! He pushed the thrower to the very edge of the pitch, survived a thumping by Varag Ghoul-chewer, an orc so violent he's officially classified as a weapon of mass destruction, and then finally put down the thrower with a sneaky trip-him-as-he-runs-past manoeuvre! Littlebottom ducked into the empty space, grabbed the ball and...

http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b194/potatocubed/LPBB/9-13-littlebottomfluffsit.jpg

Sigh.

Balthazar and Jibar staged a valiant rearguard against most of the orc team. Then Jibar staged the rearguard alone. Then...

http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b194/potatocubed/LPBB/9-16-ARGH.jpg

As was quickly becoming traditional, the game ran to extra time. We lined up to receive the ball. Obadiah the Slim found the single weakest player on the enemy team and hospitalised him. Nice work!

http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b194/potatocubed/LPBB/9-17-goblinslappin.jpg

Half of our team headed into the backfield in an attempt to ensure at least one of them stayed upright long enough to receive a pass.

Wait! Who's that standing free and clear?

http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b194/potatocubed/LPBB/9-18-anegramisclear.jpg

It's Anegram! Again!

Anonomuss delivers:

http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b194/potatocubed/LPBB/9-19-thepass.jpg

http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b194/potatocubed/LPBB/9-4-anegramscores.jpg

YEEEEESS!!

There were a few minutes left of extra time, so I let the team amuse themselves by kicking orcs into the crowd and the crowd amuse themselves by kicking orcs into the topsoil.

http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b194/potatocubed/LPBB/9-21-firstofmany!.jpg

Okay, so the Aerial Cup is a scaled down cheap-ass replica of the classic Blood Bowl itself, but it makes the trophy cabinet look a lot less empty. Next up on the list is the Orc Toof cup - it's sponsored by Grim Toof's Orcwipment, who provide free gear for everyone who signs up, so the competition's going to be stiff. Still, we're ready for 'em. Right? RIGHT.


- * -

After the match Obadiah levelled up and got Nerves of Steel, which together with Diving Tackle makes him a handy harassing player for shutting down enemies who sprint through into the backfield. Anegram got Sure Feet, which makes him an even better runner.

Also, if you look at the 'congratulations' screenshot you'll notice in the background a bunch of awards for 'best player in the tournament' sort of thing (on the left). We won all but one of those. Our individual players outperformed the other teams in every area except interceptions - more touchdowns, more yards running, more yards passing, more tackles, etc.

I can't remember all of the awards, but I do remember that good old Dominic Rapture was posthumously awarded 'Most Violent' for inflicting more serious injuries than any other player in the cup. A fitting tribute, I think.

[Iskandar]

Hm, some of your pictures do not seem to be working...

but good job nonetheless

[Wraith]

That red splotch in front of Alexander Leccancia used to be a black orc.

I seem to have been either face-down in a puddle of my own teeth or hiding in a corner for the last 2 games, but this makes it all worthwhile :smallbiggrin:

Good going, 'cubed! Go Giants!

[littlebottom]

wait what? you mean i have to catch the ball aswell? that wasnt in the job description... :smalltongue: seriously though, this group of linesmen are doing well for themselves!

[xp194]

Blood Bowl...

Blood Bowl!

BLOOD BOWLLL!!!!!

But for serious. I'm sure Xeper's getting bored sitting waiting for the next match. And Jibar hasn't had his perscribed maulings in a while...

Update soon, plox?

(yes, I am aware of how hypocritical I am, bugging people about updates.)