How do you cope with being alone?

[golentan]

I'm alone in the house for the next week. Even the earlier ant infestation has left. My nearest friend is too far away to drive too reasonably, and I work from home so I don't have much I can do going into the office. I'm already bored one day in. I've done a lot of writing, played some games, watched too much T.V. And I'm bored and lonely. I miss just having someone I can listen to the thoughts of. Or who I can share a gag with.

There's only so much Tropesing I can do. Only so much foruming. Anyone have advice for where to go in a town where the library is closed 4 days a week, and you have no friends to drop in on for 60 miles?

[Syka]

Rent lots of movies. Blockbuster Express and Redbox's have them for like a buck a night. :)

[Inhuman Bot]

Welll... I do it very well.

I prefer to spend my time alone, though having my puppeh is preferable.

Consider breaking out Battletoads for the week. You will forget all else. :smalltongue:

[InaVegt]

I do it with something called a MUX. It's a bit like tabletop RP, but in an MMO fashion, if you get what I mean.

You'll need a client, but every OS and their stepchildren have free clients available.

The game I'd like to refer you to is free too.

So, what OS do you use so I can give you a link to a good client?

[Hell Puppi]

TV, cleaning house, a large stack of books and 2 hyper dogs, as well as school, painting, fixing things, patching things, trying to make new things, learning to cook, paint rooms....
If all else fails, get a new mod for Oblivion and fire it up :smalltongue:

....in retrospect, being alone so often may be the root cause of what the heck is wrong with me, but I do try and stay busy.

[Teutonic Knight]

Turn on music REALLY loud. You may or may not get visitors while you are listening.

No really. That's what I do, minus the loud and visitors part.

[golentan]

Wow. That was fast.

In order: Movies (done all day), No Puppeh (and my birds hate me with the fire of a thousand suns), No battletoads, Mac OS X, Done TV, cleaned, no library and read all the books in my house about 2 dozen times, No school (working from home), no paint, out of parts for my current mechanical project, know how to cook but don't want to overeat while I'm on my own, Oblivion don't work since I uninstalled my windows partition.

Thanks for the responses.

[Don Julio Anejo]

What works for me in situations like that (if going out to party isn't an option) is going out of the house and randomly doing random stuff. Like taking your laptop and working out of a coffee shop. Or driving to the marina to shoot the skyline for the nth time. Checking out some place you've always wanted to but never got around to. The mall if you're either okay with spending money on stuff or can resist spending money on stuff.

Staying in the house if you don't feel like playing video games is probably the fastest way to get yourself depressed.

[InaVegt]

Wow. That was fast.

In order: Movies (done all day), No Puppeh (and my birds hate me with the fire of a thousand suns), No battletoads, Mac OS X, Done TV, cleaned, no library and read all the books in my house about 2 dozen times, No school (working from home), no paint, out of parts for my current mechanical project, know how to cook but don't want to overeat while I'm on my own, Oblivion don't work since I uninstalled my windows partition.

Thanks for the responses.

Can't claim to be the most familiar with Mac OS, but this client is recommended by someone I know: http://www.riverdark.net/atlantis/

You should, in the 'address book' put 'firan.legendary.org' as the hostname, and '5000' as the port (both excluding quotes), leave the character section empty for now, and just type 'connect guest' at the welcome screen after you connect.

[xPANCAKEx]

60 miles?!? pah!

thats less than an hour. Get driving and see some people.

[Escef]

http://www.planetpdf.com/free_pdf_ebooks.asp

http://www.gutenberg.org/wiki/Main_Page

How's that?

[Haven]

Poor guy :| Is there a reason why driving 60 miles is impractical in this circumstance? It sounds like you have plenty of time.

[CarpeGuitarrem]

You could always pick something to learn, like the alphabet for a foreign language (or Elvish, if you fancy yourself to be that geeky). A week should get you roughly grounded.

Actually, pick a few things. That'll keep you diversified.

[golentan]

Poor guy :| Is there a reason why driving 60 miles is impractical in this circumstance? It sounds like you have plenty of time.

It's impractical because my commissions have been down (hideously, I haven't had a sale in about a month, and a month again before that), I haven't yet published, and 60 miles there and back is 4 gallons of gas (12 bucks) + on the road meal (less healthy, greater than or equal to 5 bucks), at a time when I'm down to a few hundred in my bank account.

I'll check out the MUX tomorrow.

[Gorgondantess]

Well, if you have a lot of time, and you aren't doing too well financially, a part time job is always a good thing. Not fun, definitely, but it's worth it in the end.:smallredface:

[golentan]

Well, if you have a lot of time, and you aren't doing too well financially, a part time job is always a good thing. Not fun, definitely, but it's worth it in the end.:smallredface:

Not many people are hiring (I've put my resume out there, believe me). This isn't about my finances, though (those I will work out on my own) but how to deal with solo time.

Looking over the interesting Ebooks now.

[Kneenibble]

When I used to live with my family, and they vacated the house, I would take the opportunity to lay waste to the kitchen with various culinary experiments. It is a noble and humane investment of time, and nobody is there to mock your failures, infringe your elbow space at the counter, nor oblige an immediate cleanup (on the other hand, no one is there to share your successes either, but you can always freeze excess and surprise the revenient convivials). I suggest you apply whatever skills you have now towards a new challenge like baking bread, or baking a more complicated kind of bread than you currently know how. That kind of thing. Bread freezes well too.

Why do your birds hate you? :smallfrown: Are they cute?

[Yoren]

Porn - wait for it - ography. :smallwink:

Okay all kidding aside. How much of the day are you looking to kill? If its most of the day you could see if you're friend will let you spend a night or two on his/her couch. You could pay them back by cooking for them.

[Cobra_Ikari]

I live 100 miles away from my closest friend. Except when school's out. Then it's 150 miles.

I've found co-op games with them, or long chats on the phone/online do wonders.

[Coidzor]

I don't. I become crazier and more eccentric due to lack of human contact. Which is sort of negatively reinforcing and merely serves to build upon itself...

[golentan]

Why do your birds hate you? :smallfrown: Are they cute?

They're very cute. But when one of them fell sick and died on the way to the vet the others never trusted us again. And it gets worse when I have to clip their toenails.

They like that I feed them, but they don't trust that I'm not fattening them for the slaughter. And they like the music I play for them, but they don't seem to associate that with me.

[thubby]

do yard work/help someone else do yard work?

[FoE]

I tend to prefer being alone. That's not to say I avoid human contact; I'd probably go insane if I never heard a person's voice again. But when I'm alone, I do things at my own pace. I don't have people looking over my shoulder, I don't have to watch what I say and I don't have to "perform" for anyone. Quite frankly, I find small talk to be a bit of a chore.

Most of my family are that way. We don't even talk to each other much outside of holidays.

That said, sometimes I get lonely. I'm not very good at keeping in touch with old friends or making new ones. And of course, I don't go on many dates. 'Tis a conundrum: I crave solitude but I value human contact.

[golentan]

But when I'm alone, I do things at my own pace.

That's my number one problem. I can feel miserable and lonely in an hour, or I can board myself up and not realize I've been gone for a month.

I have no internal time scale. I sometimes find myself thinking I should write a letter to friends who've been dead for centuries (I assume), to see how things are working for them in Paris.

[Eldan]

When I'm without human contact for a week...

Let's see. First day is usually spent working and gaming on a more or less normal schedule.
By day two I start staying up too late and watch excessive amount of TV. Like, entire seasons worth of some series excessive.
By day three I start singing loudly. Whatever song comes to mind. I never get to sing when someone's around, because I have the unique ability to not recognize what pitch I'm singing at. According to my friends, they usually have to guess from the lyrics.
By day five, I start staying up all night and going to bed at 6am.

[Setra]

Talk to people over the phone often, play a lot of online games with other people, stuff like that.

[Solaris]

I go more and more insane, all the while pouring more and more into my arts. I'll paint some good minis (in my style - I like 'em with solid colors and no fancy techniques, thank you very much) and write a butt-load if I get into a good bender. The downside being, of course, that everyone who comes in contact with me gets to put up with me being even meaner and fouler-tempered than I normally am.

[pendell]

I spent years alone as a child -- both parents working, no other children in neighborhood --

-- so I second the recommendation for books. That was what kept my sanity before computer games. Those really helped me. I especially recommend Project Aon (http://www.projectaon.org/en/Main/Books) for light adventure novels which aren't classics by any stretch of the imagination, but are entertaining adventures.

Beyond that ... devoid of meatspace friends, find them online in, say, world of warcraft. Or perhaps even join one of the play-by-post RPGs in the games folder here. If you can stand the limited graphics, roguelikes such as Nethack (http://www.nethack.org/) will consume days -- weeks -- of your time. Star Control 2 (http://sc2.sourceforge.net/) will also eat your time.

Books and games were how I kept a semblance of sanity as a latchkey child. Facebook and so forth give many more options that didn't exist back then.

Thus, my main recommendation is to find a virtual community if you haven't got a realspace one. Not quite as good, perhaps, but better than nothing.

Respectfully,

Brian P.

[onthetown]

I like being alone, but if I have to stay for more than a couple of days alone in this seemingly haunted house I invite a friend or my boyfriend to come stay until my parents get home. I have college classes every morning, but I can get up to drive to school without waking them and by the time I get home, they're awake.... and usually ready for gaming. :smallbiggrin:

[GolemsVoice]

Walk around the house, beating stuff with a piece of lead pipe, and yell "I'm so lonely! A-and 'm just so LONELY." That's how I do it, only without lead pipe.

[The Dark Fiddler]

Try all those games you've heard about but never had the courage to try. I Wanna Be the Guy, Nethack, all those hard as all games. Maybe even {Scrubbed}

Edit: Sorry bout that, sir.

[Ravens_cry]

Welcome to my world.
My social life consists of D&D, dinner with family every weeks or so, and. . .that's about it. I hang out at the geek shop once in a while, and recently started going up and singing Karaoke badly once a month.
No boyfriend, no girlfriend. Couldn't afford one if I did.
How do I survive?
The knowledge that any day I'm not six feet under is a good day.

[Solaris]

Welcome to my world.
My social life consists of D&D, dinner with family every weeks or so, and. . .that's about it. I hang out at the geek shop once in a while, and recently started going up and singing Karaoke badly once a month.
No boyfriend, no girlfriend. Couldn't afford one if I did.
How do I survive?
The knowledge that any day I'm not six feet under is a good day.

Meh, even then...

[Eldan]

Welcome to my world.
My social life consists of D&D, dinner with family every weeks or so, and. . .that's about it. I hang out at the geek shop once in a while, and recently started going up and singing Karaoke badly once a month.
No boyfriend, no girlfriend. Couldn't afford one if I did.
How do I survive?
The knowledge that any day I'm not six feet under is a good day.

You're not the only one.

[Amiel]

I like being alone, but if I have to stay for more than a couple of days alone in this seemingly haunted house[...]

This both intrigues and frightens me. Please to be telling more?

[Ravens_cry]

You're not the only one.
That dos not surprise me.

[Sequinox]

I play and write music for hours on end. Or, if I had my license, I'd drive to Barnes and Noble and chill out there.

[Player_Zero]

A week? Boo hoo hoo.

Sorry. I'm a horribly bitter person.

[reorith]

Build a working firearm from household materials, it kills the feeling of isolation and gives you +2 badass points and +1 on cool checks.

[Gullara]

I am a loner so I don't mind being alone too much. I read, play video games, or just surf the web. Although I am not alone very often because I have 4 brothers.

[Pocketa]

I play some World of Warcraft, or call someone up.

[rewinn]

I'm alone in the house for the next week. Even the earlier ant infestation has left. My nearest friend is too far away to drive too reasonably, and I work from home so I don't have much I can do going into the office. I'm already bored one day in. I've done a lot of writing, played some games, watched too much T.V. And I'm bored and lonely. I miss just having someone I can listen to the thoughts of. Or who I can share a gag with.

There's only so much Tropesing I can do. Only so much foruming. Anyone have advice for where to go in a town where the library is closed 4 days a week, and you have no friends to drop in on for 60 miles?Find a local thrift store (preferably in a support of a charity you like) and volunteer to help stock the shelves. Since you're a volunteer, your hours may be flexible and I gaurantee you'll meet interesting people.

I stock the books at the Mercer Island Youth & Family Services Thrift Store, and besides being unending intellectual stimulations (...amazing variety of books!) I've also made a lot of friends, mostly from very different walks of life --- some work-study students, some 90-year-olds, some in between. Try it (...and if one charity doesn't do it for you, try another.)

Also: donate blood. For an hour, you'll have the attention of a cute nurse PLUS cookies!!!

[Pocketa]

Rewinn is a genius, follow his advice.

[Erothayce]

If I'm i'm in my own home then it's gaming then calling up my friends to kick it and party. If I'm house sitting then it's internet and lots of tv and crushing lonely depression brought on by no one there and nothing to do.

[Manicotti]

I look up genres of music at random off of wikipedia, download half a dozen songs by three different artists of varying nascence, and call it "cultural awareness."

I follow a couple different blogs, mostly Topless Robot, Geekologie, and The Awesomer. (all of those available at that name + .com at the end)

Also the Escapist for all my gaming news and reviews (http://www.escapistmagazine.com). Plus the forums are fun.

Torrented Acquired a copy of Electronics for Dummies recently, so I read through that and get familiar with the basics of DIY electronics.

Basically, I just learn stuff at random, depending what my tastes are that day. I'm also 60 miles away from my nearest friend and I have no car, so I have to do something.

[golentan]

So yeah. Status update: I went out and talked to random people, and did some climbing today, and am feeling much better but starting to get lonely again now that it's evening. I got another 5 pages of writing in, and my standard volunteer hours are tomorrow, so I can ask the guys if they need more help the next day.

I'm sick to death of reading, which is rare for me. And TV, which is less rare.

[Sneak]

Unfortunately, I don't.

(Real answer: TV and movies.)

[Trog]

I've gotten far too good at distracting myself from all sorts of things, basically. All my major hobbies are primarily solitary activities. I have easily spent 3/4ths of this past year in a house that has no TV completely by myself. A week is nothing, anymore. I haven't started seeing ravens perched on busts quite yet. Likely when I do there will be no one to tell anyway.

[Ilena]

Me? If im completely bored and not able to see my horse for whatever reason, nor access to a computer or no desire to go on one, i just lay back and think, i can be occupied by my mind all the time if i had nothing to distract me. I actually end up writing stories in my mind. Ya i know im a bit weird but i have no brothers or sisters, and really when i was younger i had no friends to hang out with, or very rarely, and spent most of my time alone, one learns to deal with it :P *is potentially crazy but who isnt? :P*

[X2]

Well I personally like to read comic books aloud in an OVERLY DRAMATIC VOICE!!!

[Zovc]

Also: donate blood. For an hour, you'll have the attention of a cute nurse PLUS cookies!!!

Cute nurse not guaranteed.
__________________

Well, 'this' is what I do when I am alone both literally and metaphorically. When I'm at work in between actual work, I just sit in the office's kitchen--one of the senior workers walks by every now and then to either tell me to go deliver something, replace something, or go with them on a call to learn how to do something on my own. Essentially, I'm here just in case they need an extra set of muscles or someone who knows how to work on computers.

When I had an apartment, my roommate was usually not there. I would usually be holed up in my room anyways, so I couldn't really tell if he was or wasn't there, anyways, but if I ever got lonely, I just biked over to the honors dorms of a nearby college, or drove over to a local 'hobby shop.' I hung out at that shop so much (and am such a cool guy in general, I guess) that I've become effectively the 'third in command' over there, after the owner and his wife.

[valadil]

There's only so much Tropesing I can do. Only so much foruming. Anyone have advice for where to go in a town where the library is closed 4 days a week, and you have no friends to drop in on for 60 miles?

60 miles sucks, but what about 30? Could you and your friend meet up for dinner somewhere half between the two of you?

In my experience it's not just the loneliness that's a problem. It's the stagnance. You're in one place the whole time. I worked from home for one summer and hated it for this reason. Even if you aren't with other people, you need to get out. Take a walk. Take a drive. Go to the movies instead of renting. Get a gym membership. Just go somewhere.

[Eldan]

Well I personally like to read comic books aloud in an OVERLY DRAMATIC VOICE!!!

Oh yes, I do that too. Once I also watched Lord of the Rings while doing Saruman's speeches. Loudly.

[Ashtar]

Being alone is ok, being ill and alone is no fun at all.

Snuggles back under the covers and savours the wonderful flu.

[Mauve Shirt]

I appreciate being alone by napping, or staying on the computer without fear of being yelled at. I mostly stay on these boards for amusement, or facebook, or binge on a webcomic. Or play mindless flash games.
If I have a book I will read it. If I'm tired of internetting I'll work on an art project that I planned to do months ago. All of my art projects are like that.
Whatever I'm doing I usually end up singing loudly while I do it.

It really sucks trying to find things to do out of the house, as I don't have a car or a license, and the suburban sprawl of Ellicott City prevents me from walking anywhere except the park. It's easier in Fredericksburg, since the college is in easy walking distance of the historic part, and they have a sort of kind of not really reliable bus system to go shopping elsewhere. But I rarely have to worry about being alone at college anyway.

[Krrth]

Welll......how do you feel about reading? Baen books has a free library here (http://baen.com/library/defaultTitles.htm).

There's also a large number of books available here (http://baencd.thefifthimperium.com/) as well.

[Draemr]

I think I get what you mean. Sometimes, you just need to get out of the house.

Seriously, you don't need to go anywhere specific, just get up and go for a walk and a wander.

I do that alot when I'm bored/lonely. It's gets you away from the four walls and, if nothing else, the exercise itself can improve your mood.

Other things... is there a cinema, or better yet, a theatre near you? (Though the latter can be somewhat expensive, I suppose, depending on the show)

I know you are having trouble with money at the moment but in a situation like this it can be easy to start feeling fed-up and depressed. Why not give yourself a treat of some kind? It may not solve your problem directly, but having something to look forward to could leave you in a better mood to deal with it.

Good luck :smallsmile:

[742]

try very very long walks at night, or whatever time of day you like to look at the most. good exercise, helps you get to know a space (i learned things i never knew about the place ive lived my entire life) sometimes you find something really amazing (it turns out theres a lake in a fancier neighborhood not 5 miles from my house that looks absolutely amazing when theres wind) and it eats hours and hours at a time
NOTE: this is funner if you have a very loose interpretation of walls and fences and stuff and tend to be out when everyone else is asleep

try a few different forms of meditation, you might find something good. it can be shiny and it can eat time if you find something useful.

try focusing all your time on training your animals. i have my cat trained to curl up on my lap, stand on her hind legs and touch my shoulder with a front paw when im sitting at the computer (unbelievably cute) and a bunch of other stuff, it isnt something you can sink hours into at a time but it uses a few minutes here and there.

[Felixaar]

I spend most of my time alone, or plotting to kill my roomates. Right now I have the whole place to myself, and its BLISS. I just finished my novel and am forcing my self to work on some other outstanding projects before editing, and after I do my weights, I'm going to clean the entire place from top to bottom - eek!

I only wish I had a little spare cash on me so I could go for a midnight walk and grab a cheeseburger, but unfortunately I just got back from a week off and didn't have any leave, so I'm a little strapped fer cash. I need what I've got to buy train tickets. But that's fine, I've got a few oodles of food to last me till next payday.

None of them are cheeseburgers, though.