If You Were a Gym Leader...

[EnderChant]

Exactly what it say in the header. In celebration of Make Your Profile Picture a Pokémon Month:

If you were a Pokémon gym leader, what type would you train, what TM would you give, and would the name of your badge be?

[Hadessniper]

I would train a variety of types so no one could sweep me because of a type bonus.

Also shouldn't this be in Media Discussions?

[Innis Cabal]

Darkness and Ghost types for sure.

[Kobold-Bard]

Exactly what it say in the header. In celebration of Make Your Profile Picture a Pokémon Month:

If you were a Pokémon gym leader, what type would you train, what TM would you give, and would the name of your badge be?
Team of Dittos.
Give a TM of Transform.
The Shifter Badge

And I'd rule the world.

[Ichneumon]

I'd have a fire themed gym and electric type pokemon, just to annoy all those people who come and try to beat me with water pokemon.

[Zocelot]

Dragon definitely. You're training your starter pokemon? Too bad all of it's attacks are not very effective. But seriously, the eighth gym and end of the Elite 4 from Silver/Gold/Chrystal left a serious impact on my young gaming mind.

[Haruki-kun]

Psychic types, I suppose.

And if there's a Flying/Psychic anywhere, that's good, too.

[Mando Knight]

Dragon, TM 59: Dragon Pulse, and the Knight Badge.

Why? 'Cause when they talk of the badass leader of the Kanto Elite Four and and his awesome Pokemon, they're talking about LANCE!
http://archives.bulbagarden.net/media/upload/8/8a/HGSS_Lance_Art.png
Just who the hell do you think he is?!

[llamamushroom]

Probably psychic, giving the Teleport TM - I'd like there to be a low-level psychic gym for once.

As to names, I dunno, the Barrier Badge, or something equally uninspired.

[Surrealistik]

Darkness and Ghost types for sure.

This. 10chars.

[Shas aia Toriia]

Dark and Steel. Hell yeah.
Give the TM Iron Shadow Ball Crunch Wing Tail. Its number 136. :smallwink:

[Ikialev]

Ghost, Psychic, Electric, Normal, Bug and Fire, one each.
And it would be an Awesome badge.

[Lord Blace]

Water, definitely. Team leader being Blastoise. A Blastoise that just happens to know Hydro Pump, Earthquake, Blizzard, and -Stat effecting water move here.-
Would probably give the TM for the stat effecting water move.
The turtle-cannon badge. :smallcool:

[The Extinguisher]

Ice and Electric. Such an interesting combination.

[Thatguyoverther]

Plant type. That way I could eat my Pokemon if they failed me.

Wait, I could do that anyways.

I guess whatever Pokemon tasted the best. Dodrio looks pretty tasty.

[thubby]

i would have all sorts of pokemon, but they would all have attacks they have no business knowing.
i would give the enigma badge, and one of the insta-kill things.

[Mando Knight]

'Nother interesting idea for a gym: Ground type, Drill Badge. Top Pokemon? Rhyperior and Nidoking. Theirs are the drills that will pierce THE HEAVENS! :smallwink:

[Ichneumon]

If only there was some kind of MMO or game in which you could create your own gym and be a gym leader...

[The Dark Fiddler]

I'd be the gimmick leader. Meaning?

Ditto, Smeargle, Kecleon, etc. It would be awesome.

[Kobold-Bard]

Eevee & -eon gym leader.

I wouldn't give a TM, instead you get an eevee and the stone of your choice. I'll take on post-grad breeders fresh out of pokemon sexing university to make all my prizes, and pay them like cr*p because theres always more to replace them :smallcool:

[Flickerdart]

I'd be the perpetually absent Gym Leader, fielding Ghost and Psychic pokemon and offering the Teleport TM. If the hapless player could find me, that is. :smallamused:
In the end, it would turn out that you were the gym leader all along.

[Prime32]

Dragon, TM 59: Dragon Pulse, and the Knight Badge.

Why? 'Cause when they talk of the badass leader of the Kanto Elite Four and and his awesome Pokemon, they're talking about LANCE!
http://archives.bulbagarden.net/media/upload/8/8a/HGSS_Lance_Art.png
Just who the hell do you think he is?!
Zero maybe?

[RabbitHoleLost]

Ground and Grass.
Cut TM.
Treehugger Badge. Because I am uninspired.

[Kobold-Bard]

Ground and Grass.
Cut TM.
Treehugger Badge. Because I am uninspired.

Is it wrong that I'm in love with your avatar?

[Kaelaroth]

You enter the gym.

Surprisingly, it's quiet. Perhaps too quiet, you initially think, smiling to yourself at your own pop-culture references, as you step further into the cold, dark hall. Only the shafts of moonlight, spilling through the crack-like windows, hitting the planked floor, cast any illumination at all into the room, casting a hint of illustration to something.. oddly shaped.

Stepping nearer, worried, despite your better judgement, you see a foot, sticking out from behind one of those strange statues. A former challenger, smiling macabrely in death, a trail of thick blood caressing his worn old jeans - the decapitated corpse of a pikachu clutching forlorn to one of his bruised, rigid hands.

Now, perhaps, you get a tad afraid. Not as scared as you'll be when the door closes behind you.

You're not going to live long enough to get my badge.

[CrimsonAngel]

Hey cool, i'm workin on if I was a trainer on my inkscape.

[Brother Oni]

Fight Club badge. You fight alongside your pokemon, you lose if you're knocked unconscious. :smalltongue:

[Mauve Shirt]

Psychic and dark. And perhaps ghost.

[Mando Knight]

You enter the gym.

Surprisingly, it's quiet. Perhaps too quiet, you initially think, smiling to yourself at your own pop-culture references, as you step further into the cold, dark hall. Only the shafts of moonlight, spilling through the crack-like windows, hitting the planked floor, cast any illumination at all into the room, casting a hint of illustration to something.. oddly shaped.

Stepping nearer, worried, despite your better judgement, you see a foot, sticking out from behind one of those strange statues. A former challenger, smiling macabrely in death, a trail of thick blood caressing his worn old jeans - the decapitated corpse of a pikachu clutching forlorn to one of his bruised, rigid hands.

Now, perhaps, you get a tad afraid. Not as scared as you'll be when the door closes behind you.

You're not going to live long enough to get my badge.
Fear? Darkness? What kind of idiot do you think I am? :smallamused: A shining light in the darkness! A beacon of hope in the sea of despair! A sanctified fusion of manly spirit and mental power!
The warrior's coat flutters slightly as he walks, his mouth locked into a confident smirk, his spirit nearly shining as brightly as the flying serpent before him. He reaches for the ball hanging on a chain around his neck, while motioning for the beast in front of him to take the rear.
...:smalltongue:

[Perenelle]

Dark and Water types all the way. :smallcool:

[Lucalibur]

a gym that varies in type,but the main pokemon being a lucario
give the crimson badge along with a TM for the move stone edge

[Raistlin1040]

You get word that a new city has seemingly appeared out of nowhere overnight. This "Suffragette City" apparently houses a powerful gym leader, and in search of the badge, you hop on your bicycle and ride. You arrive, and meet the locals. They're nice enough, but you can't seem to find the large building with GYM printed in bold on the side. Finally, a cool cat at the Pokemon Center gives you a tip to check out East, look for a bus. You walk out and find the bus parked next to a stage, but the only person there is a kid. He sneers at you and challenges you to a battle.

His Ralts is easily beaten, and he grudgingly tells you to come back that night. You leave, hanging about the town, and return when he told you to. The stage is now surrounded by a crowd and illuminated with bright lights and pyrotechnics. You can't get close to the stage because the others are too closely packed, but you're able to make out three figures standing on the stage.

A tall, lanky man in white with black hair hangs towards the back, a bass guitar hanging loosely off his frame. Next to him is a stocky man in a black t-shirt and ripped jeans. He twirls a pair of drumsticks in his hands, periodically bringing them down to thunderously crash on the drums. Lastly, a pretty girl in a yellow dress wields a guitar, dancing her fingers up and down the neck. They don't seem to be playing much of anything, just warming up. Suddenly, the lights flash brighter and a new figure appears from the back.

Androgynous would be how you would describe the new figure, who smoothly glides up towards the microphone as everyone falls silent. He, or she, is dressed entirely in black. His/her face is obscured by a black mask, but you can see large silver eyes, ruby red lips, and slicked back blonde hair. A guitar sits in his/her hands. The microphone is adjusted, and a chord is experimentally strummed. In eerie unison, the band begins to play together, and then the game cuts to the end of the show. The singer thanks the crowd for coming and the lights go out. When they come back up, s/he's gone. The crowd begins to jump up on stage, throwing out their strongest Pokemon to fight the remaining musicians. Judging by how swiftly they defeat the fans, the musicians are strong trainers.

Finally, you get your shot. You climb up on stage and lock eyes with the bassist in white. He smiles at you. "People around here call me Rockstar Robert. You look pretty strong." He pulls a Pokeball from his pocket. "Let's have a good match." He sends out a Dewgong. You knock it out, followed by the rest of his team, a Walrein, Cloyster, Poliwhirl, and Frosslass. He rubs his neck as he recalls his last teammate. "Looks like I broke a string." He observes as he looks down at his bass. "Good battle." He states as you move over to the drummer.

He scowls at you. "He's just a bassist." He mutters, demeaning his bandmate. "See if you can keep up with Rockstar Keith!" He furiously grasps a Pokeball at his belt, sending out a Hariyama. Once it's defeated, he sends out a Primeape, Graveler, Rhydon, and finally a Machamp. It's a tough fight, but you manage to win in the end. Keith seems annoyed by the loss and he tends to his pokemon. "Get out of here kid. You'll never beat Lucy." You heal your Pokemon and ignore him as you step in front of the girl.

She looks back at you with her ethereal blue eyes and smiles, extending a hand. "I'm Lucy. Nice to meet you." Without another word, she summons her first teammate, a Jolteon. It's followed by a Raichu, Jynx, Luxray, and finally an Alakazam. Once beaten, she still smiles and places her guitar down on a stand. You look around and notice that you're the only trainer still at the stage. "You're here for the Glitterbadge, aren't you?" You nod. "Alright. I'm going to let you in on a little secret. There's a trapdoor by center stage." She walks over to a stack of amps and pressed a button. Part of the stage falls away, revealing a ladder. "Good luck."

You climb down into the darkness. It's hot, likely a side effect of the explosive stage show. You look around for the singer, but the underground labyrinth is impossible for you to navigate. Just when you're about to give up, you're stopped by a hand on your shoulder. You turn around, and there stands the singer, having left his/her guitar somewhere behind. "Looking for someone?" S/he teases. "I'm Alice." Up close, and with this name, you feel confident that the Gym Leader is a woman. Right as a somewhat understanding expression appears on your face, s/he grins. "Not my real name of course. Just for the stage."

The gym leader steps back, adjusting his/her mask. "My Pokemon like to help in my show. It's because of their excellent roadie skill that my show is so amazing." You fumble for your first Pokemon as s/he sends out a blue Houndoom. "The one thing I've learned in my years as a trainer is that it's far more exciting to search for a rare Pokemon. The journey is always so fulfilling." After defeating the Houndoom, your team faces an orange Electabuzz, a blue Dusknoir, a pink Dragonair, and a Haunter surrounded by a blue aura. After you've managed to put down all of these Pokemon, Alice sends out his/her last one.

Unlike most of these rare Pokemon, whose alternate colorings you'd only read in books, you'd seen a rare Gardevoir before. You were at a contest and saw it, the normally green hair and arms changed to a brilliant blue, and the white dress-like part a pale pink. This Gardevoir, to your surprise, was normal. "Rare Pokemon are a worthy pursuit." Alice states. "But sometimes, there's a Pokemon you just can't bear to part with, regardless of how rare it is." Stirred by these words, you throw out your favorite Pokemon.

After a long battle, you stand victorious. Alice smiles at you from behind his/her mask. "Good job. You've earned the Glitterbadge." S/he unpins a shimmering bauble from his/her top and hands it to you. S/he also picks a disc from his/her jacket and offers it. "It would be cliche to give you Sing, especially because I like to think my singing doesn't put people to sleep. That's Perish Song. It'll cause all Pokemon in the battle to faint after three turns unless they switch out. But be careful, it can affect your Pokemon too."

You thank Alice and go back the way you came, climbing up the ladder to the stage. A Jigglypuff stares at you with its large green eyes. Somehow, it's managed to lower Alice's microphone. It begins to sing. You feel yourself grow drowsy and you fall asleep by the trapdoor in a matter of seconds.

You wake up in the Pokemon Center in the neighboring town. Curious to how you got there, you ask Nurse Joy if she knows what happened. "Some...er...someone in a mask dropped you off and asked if we had a spare room. He..." Nurse Joy pauses. "They told me to give you this when you woke up." She hands you a framed photograph. The picture is of Alice without his/her mask. S/he's smiling towards the camera with one hand thrown up in a half-wave. Written in ink at the bottom is a note.

"The Suffragettes have moved on. If you come back to the city, you won't find anything there. We're all off in the bus by the time you read this. I hope we meet again sometime. -Alice." You study the photograph carefully, and then groan.

You still can't tell if Alice is a boy or a girl.

[SensFan]

If only there was some kind of MMO or game in which you could create your own gym and be a gym leader...
There are several. Shoddy comes to mind as probably the best one.

On-topic, I'd go for Flying type, easily, and probably throw in a Levitator or two.

[Coidzor]

You get word that a new city has seemingly appeared out of nowhere overnight. This "Suffragette City" apparently houses a powerful gym leader, and in search of the badge, you hop on your bicycle and ride. You arrive, and meet the locals. They're nice enough, but you can't seem to find the large building with GYM printed in bold on the side. Finally, a cool cat at the Pokemon Center gives you a tip to check out East, look for a bus. You walk out and find the bus parked next to a stage, but the only person there is a kid. He sneers at you and challenges you to a battle.

His Ralts is easily beaten, and he grudgingly tells you to come back that night. You leave, hanging about the town, and return when he told you to. The stage is now surrounded by a crowd and illuminated with bright lights and pyrotechnics. You can't get close to the stage because the others are too closely packed, but you're able to make out three figures standing on the stage.

A tall, lanky man in white with black hair hangs towards the back, a bass guitar hanging loosely off his frame. Next to him is a stocky man in a black t-shirt and ripped jeans. He twirls a pair of drumsticks in his hands, periodically bringing them down to thunderously crash on the drums. Lastly, a pretty girl in a yellow dress wields a guitar, dancing her fingers up and down the neck. They don't seem to be playing much of anything, just warming up. Suddenly, the lights flash brighter and a new figure appears from the back.

Androgynous would be how you would describe the new figure, who smoothly glides up towards the microphone as everyone falls silent. He, or she, is dressed entirely in black. His/her face is obscured by a black mask, but you can see large silver eyes, ruby red lips, and slicked back blonde hair. A guitar sits in his/her hands. The microphone is adjusted, and a chord is experimentally strummed. In eerie unison, the band begins to play together, and then the game cuts to the end of the show. The singer thanks the crowd for coming and the lights go out. When they come back up, s/he's gone. The crowd begins to jump up on stage, throwing out their strongest Pokemon to fight the remaining musicians. Judging by how swiftly they defeat the fans, the musicians are strong trainers.

Finally, you get your shot. You climb up on stage and lock eyes with the bassist in white. He smiles at you. "People around here call me Rockstar Robert. You look pretty strong." He pulls a Pokeball from his pocket. "Let's have a good match." He sends out a Dewgong. You knock it out, followed by the rest of his team, a Walrein, Cloyster, Poliwhirl, and Frosslass. He rubs his neck as he recalls his last teammate. "Looks like I broke a string." He observes as he looks down at his bass. "Good battle." He states as you move over to the drummer.

He scowls at you. "He's just a bassist." He mutters, demeaning his bandmate. "See if you can keep up with Rockstar Keith!" He furiously grasps a Pokeball at his belt, sending out a Hariyama. Once it's defeated, he sends out a Primeape, Graveler, Rhydon, and finally a Machamp. It's a tough fight, but you manage to win in the end. Keith seems annoyed by the loss and he tends to his pokemon. "Get out of here kid. You'll never beat Lucy." You heal your Pokemon and ignore him as you step in front of the girl.

She looks back at you with her ethereal blue eyes and smiles, extending a hand. "I'm Lucy. Nice to meet you." Without another word, she summons her first teammate, a Jolteon. It's followed by a Raichu, Jynx, Luxray, and finally an Alakazam. Once beaten, she still smiles and places her guitar down on a stand. You look around and notice that you're the only trainer still at the stage. "You're here for the Glitterbadge, aren't you?" You nod. "Alright. I'm going to let you in on a little secret. There's a trapdoor by center stage." She walks over to a stack of amps and pressed a button. Part of the stage falls away, revealing a ladder. "Good luck."

You climb down into the darkness. It's hot, likely a side effect of the explosive stage show. You look around for the singer, but the underground labyrinth is impossible for you to navigate. Just when you're about to give up, you're stopped by a hand on your shoulder. You turn around, and there stands the singer, having left his/her guitar somewhere behind. "Looking for someone?" S/he teases. "I'm Alice." Up close, and with this name, you feel confident that the Gym Leader is a woman. Right as a somewhat understanding expression appears on your face, s/he grins. "Not my real name of course. Just for the stage."

The gym leader steps back, adjusting his/her mask. "My Pokemon like to help in my show. It's because of their excellent roadie skill that my show is so amazing." You fumble for your first Pokemon as s/he sends out a blue Houndoom. "The one thing I've learned in my years as a trainer is that it's far more exciting to search for a rare Pokemon. The journey is always so fulfilling." After defeating the Houndoom, your team faces an orange Electabuzz, a blue Dusknoir, a pink Dragonair, and a Haunter surrounded by a blue aura. After you've managed to put down all of these Pokemon, Alice sends out his/her last one.

Unlike most of these rare Pokemon, whose alternate colorings you'd only read in books, you'd seen a rare Gardevoir before. You were at a contest and saw it, the normally green hair and arms changed to a brilliant blue, and the white dress-like part a pale pink. This Gardevoir, to your surprise, was normal. "Rare Pokemon are a worthy pursuit." Alice states. "But sometimes, there's a Pokemon you just can't bear to part with, regardless of how rare it is." Stirred by these words, you throw out your favorite Pokemon.

After a long battle, you stand victorious. Alice smiles at you from behind his/her mask. "Good job. You've earned the Glitterbadge." S/he unpins a shimmering bauble from his/her top and hands it to you. S/he also picks a disc from his/her jacket and offers it. "It would be cliche to give you Sing, especially because I like to think my singing doesn't put people to sleep. That's Perish Song. It'll cause all Pokemon in the battle to faint after three turns unless they switch out. But be careful, it can affect your Pokemon too."

You thank Alice and go back the way you came, climbing up the ladder to the stage. A Jigglypuff stares at you with its large green eyes. Somehow, it's managed to lower Alice's microphone. It begins to sing. You feel yourself grow drowsy and you fall asleep by the trapdoor in a matter of seconds.

You wake up in the Pokemon Center in the neighboring town. Curious to how you got there, you ask Nurse Joy if she knows what happened. "Some...er...someone in a mask dropped you off and asked if we had a spare room. He..." Nurse Joy pauses. "They told me to give you this when you woke up." She hands you a framed photograph. The picture is of Alice without his/her mask. S/he's smiling towards the camera with one hand thrown up in a half-wave. Written in ink at the bottom is a note.

"The Suffragettes have moved on. If you come back to the city, you won't find anything there. We're all off in the bus by the time you read this. I hope we meet again sometime. -Alice." You study the photograph carefully, and then groan.

You still can't tell if Alice is a boy or a girl.

...What is this, the 1920s?

[Raistlin1040]

Er...no? *Does not understand that comment*

[Coidzor]

Er...no? *Does not understand that comment*

Suffragette. Gah.

And that's all ignoring the implied rape scene. :smallyuk:

[Raistlin1040]

>.> Oh (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cD51cxqY_uQ)

*feels dumb now* Even though I do know about the Suffrage movement of the '20's.

*blink* And what's this about an implied rape scene?

[Dracomorph]

Dark and Water types all the way. :smallcool:

Will they be pirates, like the old cartoon?

[Giant Brother]

In the not too distant future, way out in Ivory Town...

The Gym Leader's rigid and stoic face was set with a heavy frown...

He fought with a n00b by the name of Mike,

Just an average Joe that he didn't like,

He tried to rage quit, said his style was "hax",

So he sandstormed with his Cacturne and he taught the boy some facts!

("Double... Team... NOOOOOOOOW!")

"I'll show him nasty combos, the worst that I can find!"

("Suck-Er-Punch!")

"His team will have to face them all, and I'll monitor his mind!"

Now keep in mind Mike can't control, how the combos begin or end,

'Cause the power of Garchomp's broken stats just crushed all his Poke-Friends!

("Whoooooo!")

GYM TEAM ROLL CALL!

Cacturne!

("You're on!")

Blissey!

("I'm a star!")

Tom Garchomp!

("Rawr and stuff.")

HonchKROOOOOOOOOOOW!

("I'm different!")

If you're wondering why this Gym's unfair, and other gaming facts,

(La la la!)

Just repeat to yourself that it's just a joke, you should really just relax!

On Pokemon Science Theatre 3000!

Cheese Badge
OU/Banned pokemon with nasty defensive powers that work best with Sandstorm... and a Honchkrow. Because Honchkrow is god.
TM: Baton Pass

[Coidzor]

>.> Oh (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cD51cxqY_uQ)

*feels dumb now* Even though I do know about the Suffrage movement of the '20's.

*blink* And what's this about an implied rape scene?

<_< Knocking out a young boy/girl (as all pokemon protagonists are prepubescent or pubescent youth, after all...) after establishing a sexual context by adding willful obfuscation to it in an apparent attempt to appear more alluring and add some mystique to it all. It just... oozes... certain connotations.:smalleek:

[Setra]

Dragons, definitely. A lot of my favorites are dragon types (And some pokemon considered dragons aren't, like Gyarados), plus you can get a pretty well rounded team with Dragons.

My team'd be something like Gyarados, Dragonite, Garchomp, Charizard, Sceptile, Salamence.

My TM would be Dragon Pulse.

My badge would be called the.. uh.. *thinks* (Notdragonbadgenotdragonbadgenotdragonbadge) um.. Honor.. Badge.. or something

[Pocketa]

Heart fitness and Internets!

[Raistlin1040]

Um. No.

The concept was that the "city" was a mix of the early 1970's modernism glam movement and the mid 60's psychadelic Merry Pranksters sort of thing. The entire city was people on a journey in the tour bus who stopped for a rest and to play a gig. Partially, it was a joke on the fact that Sing wasn't the TM, and partially it was a way to get the trainer out of the town.

I was trying to fit within established Pokemon settings, which wouldn't have worked by just erecting a new town and saying it'd always been there, which is where the city-in-a-bus thing came from. The people of the city enjoyed their anonymity and mysterious nature, and couldn't let a kid find out about what they did, fully, so Jigglypuff put him to sleep and Alice carried him to a Pokemon Center and left him there to make sure he wouldn't be stranded in the middle of nowhere when he woke up.

[EnderChant]

Um. No.

The concept was that the "city" was a mix of the early 1970's modernism glam movement and the mid 60's psychadelic Merry Pranksters sort of thing....

Cool. I dig it.

[Perenelle]

Will they be pirates, like the old cartoon?

most definitely not. They were cheesy. :smalltongue:

They'll be Dark Icy Water Ninjas of course. :smallamused:

[Blue Ghost]

My type would be Water, with Psychic as a possible secondary type. My badge is the Deluge Badge, and my TM Rain Dance.

[Coidzor]

Um. No.

The concept was that the "city" was a mix of the early 1970's modernism glam movement and the mid 60's psychadelic Merry Pranksters sort of thing. The entire city was people on a journey in the tour bus who stopped for a rest and to play a gig. Partially, it was a joke on the fact that Sing wasn't the TM, and partially it was a way to get the trainer out of the town.

I was trying to fit within established Pokemon settings, which wouldn't have worked by just erecting a new town and saying it'd always been there, which is where the city-in-a-bus thing came from. The people of the city enjoyed their anonymity and mysterious nature, and couldn't let a kid find out about what they did, fully, so Jigglypuff put him to sleep and Alice carried him to a Pokemon Center and left him there to make sure he wouldn't be stranded in the middle of nowhere when he woke up.

Well, yes, that's the innocent reading of it, of course.

It's the unfortunate implications and subtext that cause me to blanch.

[skywalker]

You get word that a new city has seemingly appeared out of nowhere overnight. This "Suffragette City" apparently houses a powerful gym leader, and in search of the badge, you hop on your bicycle and ride. You arrive, and meet the locals. They're nice enough, but you can't seem to find the large building with GYM printed in bold on the side. Finally, a cool cat at the Pokemon Center gives you a tip to check out East, look for a bus. You walk out and find the bus parked next to a stage, but the only person there is a kid. He sneers at you and challenges you to a battle.

His Ralts is easily beaten, and he grudgingly tells you to come back that night. You leave, hanging about the town, and return when he told you to. The stage is now surrounded by a crowd and illuminated with bright lights and pyrotechnics. You can't get close to the stage because the others are too closely packed, but you're able to make out three figures standing on the stage.

A tall, lanky man in white with black hair hangs towards the back, a bass guitar hanging loosely off his frame. Next to him is a stocky man in a black t-shirt and ripped jeans. He twirls a pair of drumsticks in his hands, periodically bringing them down to thunderously crash on the drums. Lastly, a pretty girl in a yellow dress wields a guitar, dancing her fingers up and down the neck. They don't seem to be playing much of anything, just warming up. Suddenly, the lights flash brighter and a new figure appears from the back.

Androgynous would be how you would describe the new figure, who smoothly glides up towards the microphone as everyone falls silent. He, or she, is dressed entirely in black. His/her face is obscured by a black mask, but you can see large silver eyes, ruby red lips, and slicked back blonde hair. A guitar sits in his/her hands. The microphone is adjusted, and a chord is experimentally strummed. In eerie unison, the band begins to play together, and then the game cuts to the end of the show. The singer thanks the crowd for coming and the lights go out. When they come back up, s/he's gone. The crowd begins to jump up on stage, throwing out their strongest Pokemon to fight the remaining musicians. Judging by how swiftly they defeat the fans, the musicians are strong trainers.

Finally, you get your shot. You climb up on stage and lock eyes with the bassist in white. He smiles at you. "People around here call me Rockstar Robert. You look pretty strong." He pulls a Pokeball from his pocket. "Let's have a good match." He sends out a Dewgong. You knock it out, followed by the rest of his team, a Walrein, Cloyster, Poliwhirl, and Frosslass. He rubs his neck as he recalls his last teammate. "Looks like I broke a string." He observes as he looks down at his bass. "Good battle." He states as you move over to the drummer.

He scowls at you. "He's just a bassist." He mutters, demeaning his bandmate. "See if you can keep up with Rockstar Keith!" He furiously grasps a Pokeball at his belt, sending out a Hariyama. Once it's defeated, he sends out a Primeape, Graveler, Rhydon, and finally a Machamp. It's a tough fight, but you manage to win in the end. Keith seems annoyed by the loss and he tends to his pokemon. "Get out of here kid. You'll never beat Lucy." You heal your Pokemon and ignore him as you step in front of the girl.

She looks back at you with her ethereal blue eyes and smiles, extending a hand. "I'm Lucy. Nice to meet you." Without another word, she summons her first teammate, a Jolteon. It's followed by a Raichu, Jynx, Luxray, and finally an Alakazam. Once beaten, she still smiles and places her guitar down on a stand. You look around and notice that you're the only trainer still at the stage. "You're here for the Glitterbadge, aren't you?" You nod. "Alright. I'm going to let you in on a little secret. There's a trapdoor by center stage." She walks over to a stack of amps and pressed a button. Part of the stage falls away, revealing a ladder. "Good luck."

You climb down into the darkness. It's hot, likely a side effect of the explosive stage show. You look around for the singer, but the underground labyrinth is impossible for you to navigate. Just when you're about to give up, you're stopped by a hand on your shoulder. You turn around, and there stands the singer, having left his/her guitar somewhere behind. "Looking for someone?" S/he teases. "I'm Alice." Up close, and with this name, you feel confident that the Gym Leader is a woman. Right as a somewhat understanding expression appears on your face, s/he grins. "Not my real name of course. Just for the stage."

The gym leader steps back, adjusting his/her mask. "My Pokemon like to help in my show. It's because of their excellent roadie skill that my show is so amazing." You fumble for your first Pokemon as s/he sends out a blue Houndoom. "The one thing I've learned in my years as a trainer is that it's far more exciting to search for a rare Pokemon. The journey is always so fulfilling." After defeating the Houndoom, your team faces an orange Electabuzz, a blue Dusknoir, a pink Dragonair, and a Haunter surrounded by a blue aura. After you've managed to put down all of these Pokemon, Alice sends out his/her last one.

Unlike most of these rare Pokemon, whose alternate colorings you'd only read in books, you'd seen a rare Gardevoir before. You were at a contest and saw it, the normally green hair and arms changed to a brilliant blue, and the white dress-like part a pale pink. This Gardevoir, to your surprise, was normal. "Rare Pokemon are a worthy pursuit." Alice states. "But sometimes, there's a Pokemon you just can't bear to part with, regardless of how rare it is." Stirred by these words, you throw out your favorite Pokemon.

After a long battle, you stand victorious. Alice smiles at you from behind his/her mask. "Good job. You've earned the Glitterbadge." S/he unpins a shimmering bauble from his/her top and hands it to you. S/he also picks a disc from his/her jacket and offers it. "It would be cliche to give you Sing, especially because I like to think my singing doesn't put people to sleep. That's Perish Song. It'll cause all Pokemon in the battle to faint after three turns unless they switch out. But be careful, it can affect your Pokemon too."

You thank Alice and go back the way you came, climbing up the ladder to the stage. A Jigglypuff stares at you with its large green eyes. Somehow, it's managed to lower Alice's microphone. It begins to sing. You feel yourself grow drowsy and you fall asleep by the trapdoor in a matter of seconds.

You wake up in the Pokemon Center in the neighboring town. Curious to how you got there, you ask Nurse Joy if she knows what happened. "Some...er...someone in a mask dropped you off and asked if we had a spare room. He..." Nurse Joy pauses. "They told me to give you this when you woke up." She hands you a framed photograph. The picture is of Alice without his/her mask. S/he's smiling towards the camera with one hand thrown up in a half-wave. Written in ink at the bottom is a note.

"The Suffragettes have moved on. If you come back to the city, you won't find anything there. We're all off in the bus by the time you read this. I hope we meet again sometime. -Alice." You study the photograph carefully, and then groan.

You still can't tell if Alice is a boy or a girl.

I got it...

And I LOVED it!

This probably won't help with Coidzor much, but...

Wham, bam, thank you ma'am!

[Raistlin1040]

:smallannoyed:
:smalltongue:
I'm glad someone liked it, at least.

[Moff Chumley]

Nice, Raist. :smallcool:

You want my badge? Well, first let me tell you about my TM. It's called, BOOMSTICK!

[Coidzor]

I got it...

And I LOVED it!

This probably won't help with Coidzor much, but...

Wham, bam, thank you ma'am!

Well, I am sooner caught than the pestilence, and the taker runs presently mad. If he have caught the Coidzor, it will cost him a thousand pound ere a' be cured (http://shakespeare.mit.edu/much_ado/much_ado.1.1.html). I mean, let's remember who we're talking about here. :smallwink:

It did have some glimmerings of wit about it though, I must admit, and the heavy-handed bits were mostly due to the genre anyway.

[RabbitHoleLost]

Is it wrong that I'm in love with your avatar?

No, it seems to be quite common :smallcool:

FdL did a fantastic job with it

[OracleofWuffing]

Door locks behind you, you fight 100 mudkips.

"Gym battle? Oh, yeah. This isn't so much a gym, it's more of a memetic mutation, and this is lampshading..."

At this point, the gym leader pulls up an in-game web browser that can only access TVTropes pages. Good luck being a pokemon master now.

Edit: And if I must have a gym battle, two missingno, bulbasaur, Porygon, and a third missingno.

[RabbitHoleLost]

<_< Knocking out a young boy/girl (as all pokemon protagonists are prepubescent or pubescent youth, after all...) after establishing a sexual context by adding willful obfuscation to it in an apparent attempt to appear more alluring and add some mystique to it all. It just... oozes... certain connotations.:smalleek:

Lawl. Most amusing interpretation.

[The Rose Dragon]

Ground and Grass.
Cut TM.
Treehugger Badge. Because I am uninspired.

Cut is an HM, not a TM.

[Kobold-Bard]

Door locks behind you, you fight 100 mudkips.

"Gym battle? Oh, yeah. This isn't so much a gym, it's more of a memetic mutation, and this is lampshading..."

At this point, the gym leader pulls up an in-game web browser that can only access TVTropes pages. Good luck being a pokemon master now.

Edit: And if I must have a gym battle, two missingno, bulbasaur, Porygon, and a third missingno.

This gives me an idea.

You fight an endless stream of rather pants Pokemon, the trainer just never seems to run out.

The secret is that in order to win, you must lose. You must look past your trainer's pride, and accept that you are not the all-powerful master of the world, just one person. (The technique people on gamefaqs come up with is to simply load up on Voltorbs etc. and Self-Destruct them).

Once you black out you wake up with the Gym Leader standing in front of you. You have been humbled by defeat, now you have earned your battle with me. Give me your best. (Initial idea stolen from FFIV)

[Thanatos 51-50]

Fire and Flying type, with, of course, Charizard being the Main Event.
My badge would be the "Purge" badge, which would be shaped like a burning effigy of a man, and I would give the Fire Blast TM, so that those who defeated me could "Go forth and burn the Wickedness away from the world". All my disciples the trainers in my gym would wear lightweight armour, carry swords, and speak as if they're here to strike down the Sinners, the Evil, and the Unjust.

The gym name? Why, Greyguard Gym, of course!

[potatocubed]

I would train 'all my favourites'-type Pokemon:

Farfetch'd, Psyduck, Gardevoir, Ninetails, Gyarados, Lucario.*

My gym would be the 'Not Very Effective Gym' and would feature trainers with a wide-range of sub-optimal Pokemon, including at least one coccoon with TM-machine attacks. I would give out the 'Not Very Badge' which is a note that reads "IOU one gym badge."

*Actually, since this kind of gym would be fairly near the start it might be Farfetch'd, Psyduck, Vulpix, Riolu, whatever the hell Gardevoir evolves from, and Magikarp.

[RabbitHoleLost]

Cut is an HM, not a TM.

For serious?
Shame on me. I haven't played in years v.v

[Assassin89]

I would train 'all my favourites'-type Pokemon:

Farfetch'd, Psyduck, Gardevoir, Ninetails, Gyarados, Lucario.*

My gym would be the 'Not Very Effective Gym' and would feature trainers with a wide-range of sub-optimal Pokemon, including at least one coccoon with TM-machine attacks. I would give out the 'Not Very Badge' which is a note that reads "IOU one gym badge."

*Actually, since this kind of gym would be fairly near the start it might be Farfetch'd, Psyduck, Vulpix, Riolu, whatever the hell Gardevoir evolves from, and Magikarp.

You mean Ralts?

As for what I would train, primarily ice and water pokemon, and I would be a stickler for the game mechanics, meaning that telling your pokemon to "Dodge it", using attack that would not register on the type matchup chart (Ash's pikachu using electric type attack on ground type. Grass pokemon taking no damage from electric type) having an ability activate in the wrong way (Moldbreaker negating static, static activating when the pokemon with the ability is attacking) will result in me saying "Hax" and being the challenger being disqualified.

[Mando Knight]

My gym would be the 'Not Very Effective Gym' and would feature trainers with a wide-range of sub-optimal Pokemon, including at least one coccoon with TM-machine attacks. I would give out the 'Not Very Badge' which is a note that reads "IOU one gym badge."

The cocoon Pokemon are even worse off than that...

...They can't learn anything.

[potatocubed]

Hmm. I know coccoons don't lose moves they knew as a Weedle (or whatever) since I've had them with string shot and tackle in the past - could you TM a Weedle a few times, let it evolve into the coccoon, then make sure it never evolves again?

[Mando Knight]

Weedle and such are in the same boat. They can't learn anything beyond the few moves they're given.

Both groups have a few minor exceptions in that they can learn some tutor moves in Platinum and HG/SS, but they're all fairly worthless.

[RabbitHoleLost]

But Caterpie are so cute

[Dracomorph]

most definitely not. They were cheesy. :smalltongue:

They'll be Dark Icy Water Ninjas of course. :smallamused:
Because ninjas never had a cheesy series. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Urnzz-eXO8)

[Piggyebil]

I would train pokemon that evolve from happiness, and are nowhere near evolving.

My team?

Pichu, Riolu, Eevee intended for Umbreon, Azurill, Budew, and Chingling.

I'd give the "Angst Badge" and the TM for Frustration.

You'd best bring your most cheerful team.

And I'll call it the Melancholy Gym.

All the trainers are some trainers given a negative image. Grunts (Yes, this Gym is connected with Team Rocket!), Bikers, Robbers, the works.

[Perenelle]

Because ninjas never had a cheesy series. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Urnzz-eXO8)

get it away!! :smallyuk:
I always hated that show..

[Partof1]

I'd make sure to have some badass electric thing, a Hitmonlee, and a plethora of things suited to deal with pretty much every type. And I'd only be there sometimes, otherwise I'm spelunking, diving or showing the Elite 4 who's boss.

For a badge, they can have the Lucky Badge, cuz there is no way statistically that they could have gotten through that gym to find me.

[Zaydos]

I've trained most of my gym team up on Diamond, just need to raise a good kingdra. Yeah that's right Dragon type (what else). Either 1 of each (Salamence, Dragonite, Altaria, Garchomp, Flygon, and Kingdra) of which I only need Kingdra or a team of all Salamences (yes I have 6 of them). Fafnir (Level 100 Salamence with Hydro Pump) FTW! I would give out the Draco Badge and a TM of Dragon Pulse what else. And because I'm a dragon type trainer, and therefore completely assured of my superiority to mere mortals with their Blastoise and Infernapes, I'd have no Gym Trainers. All you have to do is climb a mountain, then find the Gym hidden in a deep ghost filled cave behind a waterfall.

Did I mention Salamence is my favorite pokemon and I went through the trouble of EV training every one of them

I just hope it doesn't snow..

[Mercenary Pen]

I'd go flying type, because that'll allow me to kaleidoscope my secondary typing massively (yup, I'm thinking high-level flying type)

Give out the hurricane badge, and have an Air Slash TM created specially...

Probable team (assuming that as a gym leader I max out at 5 pokemon)

Gyarados (neutralises ice-type reliance)
Gliscor (nixes electric entirely)
Dragonite (almost as good as Salamence if you know how)
Skarmory (it had to be done)
Charizard (real classic, and if I go with a special set, it'll wrong foot everyone who expects belly-drumming...)

[Zaydos]

Oh if I could only have 5 I guess no Altaria (still need to train a proper Kingdra and not just a Pokedex completion one) or just use 5 of my salamences (sorry Nizbel). Still stay in the waterfall with no gym trainers.

[Lifeson]

I'd be the first gym, and it'd be a fairly weak team from the outset, with hearts and flowers and stuff, just to let them fall into at false sense of security. Even the badge you show off is just a happy face.

The team? Magicarp x2 with no pp for splash, a magicarp WITH pp for splash, a Jigglypuff made for speed-sleep, and a Clefairy who knows metronome (tweaked for high-powered moves if possible), double team, sing, and thunder.

TM? Rest. :smallcool: Name? At Least My Mom Thinks I'm Cool badge.

[Kobold-Bard]

A team of Pokemon that use nothing but Metronome. People would be terrified of challenging me, because while they may get Leer and Tackle attacks, they might get a load of Fire Blasts and Horn Drills :smallbiggrin:

Thanks for the idea CrystalLeaf.