Crack Pairings V - We Revel in Infamy [Archive] - Giant in the Playground Forums

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The Dark Fiddler

2009-12-29, 08:32 PM

Hello, and welcome to the fifth Crack Pairings thread. If you haven't read the previous ones yet, you can do so here (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=111631), here (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=125046), here (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=129876), and here. (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=133747)

Or, if you don't wish to read through all 200 pages, here's the short version: we have a roller and some tables. You roll a pairing, and maybe a plot device, then you write it, draw it, act it out, interpretive dance it, whatever! Apparently we like this sort of thing.

Please remember to keep it clean, folks! The board rules still apply!

When posting a pairing, please at least try to do something with it. We like it when people try!

New: Sure, we won't be winning any Oscars or anything, but that doesn't mean we can't have our own little awards. (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showpost.php?p=7294650&postcount=610)

Should you wish to roll a pairing, Sgeo coded up a roller for us. (http://sgeo.diagonalfish.net/crack_pairings.htm) If you want that personal touch, go roll on the tables, or make up your own pairing!

Banners!

Image hosting sites only allow pictures to get a small amount of bandwidth. If you could, please upload banners to an account of your own to not use as much bandwidth for our talented artists, 'less all the beautiful banners disappear.

Text:
http://i920.photobucket.com/albums/ad44/ZanarilOOTS/bannermain.png

Zanaril's
http://i920.photobucket.com/albums/ad44/ZanarilOOTS/bannerdurkonxlien.png

http://i920.photobucket.com/albums/ad44/ZanarilOOTS/bannerhinjoxdaigo.png

http://i920.photobucket.com/albums/ad44/ZanarilOOTS/bannerlizardxbw.png

http://i920.photobucket.com/albums/ad44/ZanarilOOTS/bannerundeadvxxykon.png

http://i920.photobucket.com/albums/ad44/ZanarilOOTS/bannervxmiko.png

http://i920.photobucket.com/albums/ad44/ZanarilOOTS/bannervxrc.png

http://i920.photobucket.com/albums/ad44/ZanarilOOTS/bannervxzzdtri2.png

http://i920.photobucket.com/albums/ad44/ZanarilOOTS/bannerxykonxmiko.png

http://i920.photobucket.com/albums/ad44/ZanarilOOTS/bannerxykonxv.png

http://i920.photobucket.com/albums/ad44/ZanarilOOTS/vxsplicedkyrie.png

http://i260.photobucket.com/albums/ii21/Zanaril/OOTSart/icesculpturecrack.png

http://i260.photobucket.com/albums/ii21/Zanaril/OOTSart/vxaandy.png

http://i260.photobucket.com/albums/ii21/Zanaril/OOTSart/vxtsukikobanner.png

Funky Goose's

http://i840.photobucket.com/albums/zz327/funkygoose/image3655.png

http://i840.photobucket.com/albums/zz327/funkygoose/a.png

http://i840.photobucket.com/albums/zz327/funkygoose/path4391.png

http://i840.photobucket.com/albums/zz327/funkygoose/path2451-1.png

http://i840.photobucket.com/albums/zz327/funkygoose/Crack.png

http://i840.photobucket.com/albums/zz327/funkygoose/image3600.png

http://i840.photobucket.com/albums/zz327/funkygoose/Intermission.png

http://i840.photobucket.com/albums/zz327/funkygoose/Crackroy.png

http://i840.photobucket.com/albums/zz327/funkygoose/image2786.png

http://i840.photobucket.com/albums/zz327/funkygoose/CrackBanner.png

http://i840.photobucket.com/albums/zz327/funkygoose/rect2384.png

http://i840.photobucket.com/albums/zz327/funkygoose/image2830.png

http://i840.photobucket.com/albums/zz327/funkygoose/g4008.png

http://i840.photobucket.com/albums/zz327/funkygoose/path3985.png

http://i840.photobucket.com/albums/zz327/funkygoose/image4372.png

Discord's

http://i697.photobucket.com/albums/vv331/Discordd/OotS/VaH-banner.png

http://i697.photobucket.com/albums/vv331/Discordd/OotS/VaH-banner-light.png

http://i697.photobucket.com/albums/vv331/Discordd/OotS/BannerforCoffeeIncluded.png

http://i697.photobucket.com/albums/vv331/Discordd/OotS/mavcosplaybanner.png

http://i697.photobucket.com/albums/vv331/Discordd/OotS/MikoxHaleybanner1.png

http://i697.photobucket.com/albums/vv331/Discordd/OotS/VxMikobanner1.png

http://i697.photobucket.com/albums/vv331/Discordd/OotS/BannerforCoffeeIncluded-censured.png

http://i697.photobucket.com/albums/vv331/Discordd/OotS/CeliaxHaleybanner1.png

Saeyan
http://i840.photobucket.com/albums/zz327/funkygoose/image2856.png

rangermania
http://i152.photobucket.com/albums/s173/rangermania/crackp_DurnKub.jpg

Trixie
http://www.imageboo.com/files/95079bzojhkvu1pstjgl.png

MReav
http://i248.photobucket.com/albums/gg192/Cherpet/Avatar/VCPSArtist.png

http://i248.photobucket.com/albums/gg192/Cherpet/Mini-MikoxRedcloak.png

Kaytara
http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y120/kaytara/crackbanner.png

http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y120/kaytara/vrcbabybanner2.png

half-halfling
http://i750.photobucket.com/albums/xx144/half-halfling/banner.png

http://i750.photobucket.com/albums/xx144/half-halfling/Untitled-3.png

http://i750.photobucket.com/albums/xx144/half-halfling/banner-1.png

http://i750.photobucket.com/albums/xx144/half-halfling/ban2.png

http://i750.photobucket.com/albums/xx144/half-halfling/banoots.png

http://i750.photobucket.com/albums/xx144/half-halfling/banzt.png

http://i750.photobucket.com/albums/xx144/half-halfling/banbt.png

Tables!

Initial Table
Roll 2d6 (or more!) decide which tables to pick the characters from.

OotS Table 1
OotS Table 2
OotS Table 3
OotS Table 4
Minion List
Dead Guy List

Table 1 - By Minion992929

Roy
Durkon
Celia
Xykon
Tsukiko
Vaarsuvius
Monster in The Dark
Miko
Nale
Elan
Haley
Belkar
Lord Shojo
Redcloak
Hinjo
Daigo
Kazumi
Inkyrius
Roll again twice
Roll again and switch gender

Table 2 - By Minion 992929

The Guy with a halberd
Sarah Greenhilt
Haley's dad
Thanh
Julio Scoundrél
Mr. Rodriguez
Horace Greenhilt
Therkla
Zz'Dtri
YokYok
Leeky Windstaff
The Cliffport chief of police
Windstriker
Jirix
Lien
Argent
Yor
Roll again twice
Roll again on twice on Initial Table
Roll again and switch gender

Table 3 - By Minion992929

Soon Kim (incorporeal)
Shadowdancer
Hilgya
Dorukan
Bozzok
Crystal
Bandit King
Ancient Black Dragon
O-Chul
The Snarl
The Eye of Fear and Flame
Lord Kubota
Thog
Julia Greenhilt
Belkar
The oracle
Jephton/Haerta/Ganneron
Roll again twice on Initial Table
Roll again twice
Roll again and switch gender

Table 4 - By Minion 992929

The dragon's hoard
The chimera
The really dangerous trap
Roy's Archon
The Hydra
Teevo
Xykon's zombie dragon head
Roy's sword
The entire Hobgoblin army
The orc chieftain
The IFCC
Durkon while under the effects of Thor's might
Mr Scruffy
Hieronymus Grubwiggler
All of the Demon Roaches at once
Bone golem Roy
Roll again twice
Roll again on Tables 1, 2, and 3
Roll again twice on Initial Table
Roll again and switch gender

Minion List -Made By MReav

Goblin
Hobgoblin
Kobold
Ogre
Lizardfolk
Bug-people
Azure City Soldier
Bandit or Thieves Guild Member
Orc
Owlbear
Troll (flip coin to determine land or sea)
Zombie
Ghoul
City Guardsman
Angel-thing
Ghost Martyr
Roll again on another table.
Roll again twice
Roll Again and invert alignment
Roll again for minion army

Dead Guy List -Made By MReav

Samantha
Sangwaan
Hobgoblin General
Azure City General
Death Knight
Huecva
Trigak
Earth Dungeon Guardian
Fire Dungeon Guardian
Kraagor
Mijung
Eugene Greenhilt
Old Blind Pete
Giant Devil
Buggy-Lou
Isamu.
Roll Again on a different table
Roll Again Twice
Roll Again and Switch Gender
Roll again. If you roll this option twice in a row: Eastern Pantheon and World 1.0

Supplemental Plot Devices
Roll 1d4 (or more!)

Table 1
Table 2
Table 3
Table 4

Table 1 - By Nerdanel

Unrequited love
Love potion
Drunkenness
Snowed in
Stuck on a desert island
In the afterlife
Aliens Made Them Do It (not necessarily literal aliens)
True love
Love/hate relationship
Adultery
Pregnancy (use male pregnancy if needed)
Pink frills and white lace
French maid costume
Police/military uniform
High heels and black leather
American high school setting
Someone is a vampire
Everyone is a furry version of themselves
Kidnapped (By somebody inside or outside of the pairing)
Roll again twice

Table 2 - by Sereg

Dream Sequence
Anonymous Dating Service
Bodyswapped
Meta
Curse
Spell gone wrong
Damsel/dude in distress
Lots and lots of angst (because then it will be true art)
Amnesia
Mistaken identity
Genre shift
Finding “new uses” for objects
The real world
Geas/Quest
Zone of Truth
Truth, dare or command
Voyeurism
In a playground
Roll again twice
Roll again on another table

Table 3 - by Sereg

Fulfilling an unusual fantasy (as demonstrated in Coffee Included’s V x Haley x Elan with Belkar watching fic)
Arranged marriage
Already married
Prostitution
Concubines
Inheritance of wealth and/or title from obscure dead relative
Class change/multiclassing
Team Evil is trying to save the world from the Oots’ plan to control/release the snarl
Past/future life
In 20 years from current comic
They discover that they are close relatives at the end
Disease
“The whole party is controlled by giant space cats and Xykon is from modern Earth”
Deus ex machina
With the author
With another crack-pairer
On the web-site
Lampshading (roll again)
Roll again twice
Roll again on another table

Table 4 - by Sereg

While arguing with the author
It’s not them, it’s their players/character sheets/stat blocks/minis/dice (Yes, I know that this isn’t a game, but when have we let canon stand in our way?)
To make someone else jealous
To save the world
Mind-control
Twins separated at birth
This is what the snarl actually does
In a watery environment
While under attack
Because of a literal genie
Because if they don’t they’ll die/get unmade
On the rebound
In jail/a dungeon
While playing strip-(insert game here)
Wardrobe malfunction
On meds
As part of their therapy
With a giant
With a subversion/aversion/inversion/double subversion of (roll again)
Roll again twice

Of course, feel free to make up your own pairings!

Lira

2009-12-29, 08:32 PM

Crack Pairings Story Index

Stories by Asta Kask

OOTS in Die Walküre
Elves and Ears
Elan/Therkla
Radic/someguyJanineknows
Stories by badam104172

Hinjo/Argent
Jirix/Redcloak
Stories by baf

Inkyrius/Zz'dtri
Stories by BatRobin

Belkar/Eye of Fear and Flame
Hilgya/YokYok
Julio Scoundrel/Entire Hobgolbin Army
Therkla/Vaarsuvius
Tsukiko/Jirix
Thog/Julio Scoundrel
Redcloak/Lien/Xykon [Part 1]
Redcloak/Lien/Xykon [Part 2]
Nale/Inkyrius
Xykon/Xykon
Stories by Belkster11

Roy/Elan [Part 1]
Roy/Elan [Part 2]
Roy/Elan [Part 3]
Hilgya/Inkyrius
Haley/Blackwing
Nale/Miko [Part 1]
Nale/Miko [Part 2]
Roy/MiTD
Stories by The Blackbird

Oracle/Flesh Golem Roy
Stories by TheBibliophile

Xykon/Miko
Vaarsuvius/Haley
Vaarsuvius/Haley [Continued]
Vaarsuvius/The Lizardfolk Whores
Stories by CapedLuigiYoshi

Lien/Lien
Stories by Cire II

Miko/Durkon
Stories by ClericOfBelker

Gender-swapped OOTS [Part "2"]
Gender-swapped OOTS [Part 3]
Gender-swapped OOTS [Part 4]
Gender-swapped OOTS [Part 5]
Gender-swapped OOTS [Part 6]
Belkar/Roy
O-Chul/ABD
Elan/Belkar/Haley/Roy
Roy/ABD
Closak/Black Dragons
Stories by Closak

Roy/Belkar/Ancient Black Dragon
ABD
ABD/Haley
ABD/Jirix
ABD/Redcloak
ABD/Redcloak
ABD/Roy
ABD/Janitor
Stories by CoffeeIncluded

Elan/Julio Scoundrel
O-Chul/Lien
Haley/Roy's Sword and Sara Greenhilt/Soon Kim
Inkyrius/Belkar
Julia/Pompey
Pompey/Sabine
Xykon/Roy's Sword
Belkar/Hinjo
Crystal/Vaarsuvius
Zz'Drti/Nale
Shojo/Aarindarius
Daigo/Kubota
Vaarsuvius/IFCC
OOTS/Giant Sand Worm
Mr. Scruffy/Vaarsuvius
ABD/Guy with the Halberd
Elan/Cactus
Inkyrius/Inkyrius/Vaarsuvius/Vaarsuvius
Haley/Hanukkah Gelt
Miko/Inkyrius
Vaarsuvius/Durkon
Vaarsuvius/Elan/Haley
Celia/Haley
Elan/Shadowdancer
Stories by Cracklord

Miko/Durkon
Inkyrius/Bozzok
O-Chul/Thog
Therkla/Crystal
Nale/The Shadow Dancer/Soulsplice
Tsukiko/Soon
Leeky Windstaff/Lord Kubota
Teevo/Thanh
O-Chul/Chief Grukgruk
Bozzok/Tsukiko/Crystal
Nale/Hinjo/O-Chul/Julia
Xykon/Thog
Edward Cullen/Harry Potter/Raistlin Majere/Xykon/Tsukiko/Lien/Stanley the Tool/Winston Churchill
Xykon/Julio Scoundrel
Belkar/Jenny
Eugene/Ydranna
Bozzok/Haley
Lord Shojo/Julio Scoundrel
Durkon/Lien
Durkon/Lien
Durkon/Lien
Durkon/Lien
Durkon/Lien [The Beginning]
Julia Greenhilt/Xykon
Bozzok/Zz'Dtri
Julia/Roy's Sword
Durkon/Lien
Roy/Sabine
Shojo/Miko
Durkon/Lien
Belkar in Hell [Part 1]
Belkar in Hell [Part 2]
Belkar in Hell [Part 3]
Belkar in Hell [Part 4]
Belkar in Hell [Part 5]
Belkar in Hell [Part 6]
Soon Kim/Mijung
Durkon/Lien
The OOTS in Girard's Gate [Part 1]
The OOTS in Girard's Gate [Part 2]
The OOTS in Girard's Gate [Part 3]
The OOTS in Girard's Gate [Part 4]
The OOTS in Girard's Gate [Part 5]
The OOTS in Girard's Gate [Part 6]
The OOTS in Girard's Gate [Part 7]
The OOTS in Girard's Gate [Part 8]
The OOTS in Girard's Gate [Part 9]

Stories by CurlyKitGirl

Elan/Banjo
Banjo/Haley
Sabine/Haley
Stories by Dak Frostwrath

Redcloak/Haley/Zz'dtri/Crystal/Hieronymus Grubwiggler
Stories by Dark Apprentice

Haley/Zz'dtri
Roy's Sword/The Really Dangerous Trap
Stories by The Dark Fiddler

Roy/Redcloak
MiTD/Entitre Hobgoblin Army
Celia/Gender-Flipped Celia
Crystal/Argent
Miko/Vaarsuvius
Nale/Tsukiko
The Oracle/Zz'Dtri
Stories by DarkElfGangsta

Julia/Nale
Stories by Dark_Stryke

Not for Everyone
Roy/Miko [Part 1]
Roy/Miko [Part 2]
Roy/Miko [Part 3]
Roy/Miko [Part 4]
It All Started With A Kiss
OOTS [Part 1]
OOTS [Part 2]
OOTS [Part 3]
Stories by Discord

Miko/Vaarsuvius
Miko/Vaarsuvius
Vaarsuvius/Zz'dtri
Vaarsuvius/Mother Black Dragon
Miko/Vaarsuvius
Jirix/Tsukiko
Vaarsuvius/Haley
Roy/Celia
Vaarsuvius/Miko
Vaarsuvius/Haley
Vaarsuvius/Vaarsuvius
Vaarsuvius/Haley [Part 2] [Continuation of ShinyDelusion's story]
Vaarsuvius/Haley
Stories by doliest

IFCC/Crystal
Windstriker/The Bandit King
Belkar/YokYok
Doliest/Dracula
Vaarsuvius/Aarindarius [Part 1]
Vaarsuvius/Aarindarius [Part 2]
Snarl/Haley/O-Chul
Stories by Dra-Goon

Xykon/Kazumi
Sarah Greenhilt/Roy's Archon
Celia/Mr Scruffy
The Eye of Fear and Flame/Haley
Roy's Sword/Bone Golem Roy
Ancient Black Dragon/Tsukiko/Monster in the Dark
Haley/Vaarsuvius/Durkon
Stories by Dr.Gunsforhands

Roy/Belkar
Stories by Elan's Modron

Modron/Slaad
Stories by Elvenblade

Redcloak/Jirix
Stories by esmerelder

Roy/Vaarsuvius
Girard/Serini
Girard/Serini
Gender-swapped Order of the Stick
OOTS/OOTS
Haley/Hank
Body-swapped OOTS [Part 1]
Body-swapped OOTS [Part 2]
Body-swapped OOTS [Part 3]
V/Belkar Spawnfic
Stories by Expeditious

Bone Golem Roy/Nale
Stories by Eztheria

MiTD/Xykon
Stories by Forevernade

Flesh Golem Roy/Crystal
Stories by Gimliggamer

Frodo/Entire Hobgoblin Army/Sam/Harry Potter
Elan/Redcloak
Stories by golentan

Mr. Rodriguez/Windstriker
Stories by Hijax

The Oracle/The Really Dangerous Trap
Stories by Introbulus

The Cliffport Chief of Police/Kazumi
Hydra/Lien
Tsukiko/Roy's Archon
Lord Shojo/Jirix
Durokan/Haley
Belkar/Hinjo
Haley/Crystal
Kazumi/Durkon
Stories by jogiff

Tsukiko/Miko/Redcloak
Stories by Kaytara

Mr. Scruffy/The Snarl
Ancient Black Dragon/Inkyrius
IFCC Fiends/The Chimera Trigak
Banjo/Giggles
Vaarsuvius and Durkon [Part 1]
Vaarsuvius and Durkon [Part 2]
ABD and Vaarsuvius
Belkar/Vaarsuvius
Stories by Kill Screen

Miko/Elan
Stories by Kirby

Celia/Vaarsuvius
Xykon/MiTD
Haley/Vaarsuvius
Soul Spliced Elan/Haley
Stories by Kitteh

Roy/Eye of Fear and Flame
Mr. Scruffy/Windstriker
Stories by Kobold-Bard

Leeky Windstaff/The Eye of Fear and Flame
Nale/Elan
Stories by Kraggi

Incorporeal Soon Kim/Mr. Scruffy
Stories by Kyronea

Haley/Durkon
Stories by Lawyergoblin

Brown-cloak/Haley
Redcloak/Celia [Part 1]
Redcloak/Celia [Part 2]
Stories by lindorm

Soon Kim/Jirix
Stories by Lollie

Belkar/Tsukiko
Stories by Lycan 01

Orc Chief Grukgruk/Haley/Kazumi
The Guy With the Halberd/Demon Roaches/Hydra
Daigo/Kubota
Yor/Belkar
Kazumi/Therkla
O-Chul/IFCC
Miko/Redcloak
Miko/Redcloak [Continued]
The Eye of Fear and Flame/Haley
Blackwing/Mr. Scruffy
Hinjo/Redcloak
Crystal/The Chimera
Belkar/Roy's Sword
Vaarsuvius/Ciaphas Cain [Part 1]
Vaarsuvius/Ciaphas Cain [Part 2]
Vaarsuvius/Ciaphas Cain [Part 3]
Vaarsuvius/Ciaphas Cain [Part 4]
Vaarsuvius/Ciaphas Cain [Part 5]
Vaarsuvius/Elan
Stories by MagicianMan5

Shadowdancer/Soul Splices
Haley/Vaarsuvius
Stories by Malkar Grumbo

Miko/Tsukiko [Chapter 1]
Miko/Tsukiko [Chapter 2]
Miko/Tsukiko [Chapter 3]
Miko/Tsukiko [Chapter 4]
Stories by Mariel Dragon

Haley/Belkar
Stories by MasamuneSSX

Miko/MiTD
Durkon/Sabine
Miko/Sabine
Miko/The Oracle
Miko/Vaarsuvius
ABD/The Oracle
Entire Hobgoblin Army/All The Demon Roaches
Stories by Meg

Redcloak/O-Chul
Tsukiko/Redcloak
Teevo/Hieronymus Grubwiggler
Roy/Roy's Archon
Roy's Sword/Nale
Belkar/Vaarsuvius
Elan/Vaarsuvius [Part 1]
Elan/Vaarsuvius [Part 2]
Redcloak/Tsukiko [Part 1]
Redcloak/Tsukiko [Part 2]
Redcloak/Tsukiko [Part 3]
Redcloak/The Snarl
Miko/Haley
Jeff/Hilgya
Vaarsuvius/Aarindarius
Vaarsuvius/Everyone [Part 2]
Kazumi/IFCC
Stories by Metalhead

Roy/Julia
Stories by mizzim

Haley/Nale
ABD/Miko
Stories by Monzach

Yokyok/Kobold Girl
Redcloak/Jirix
Stories by Moofin Bard

Therkla/Diago/Lien/Crystal/The Hydra
Mr. Scruffy/Belkar
Mr. Scruffy/Belkar [Continued]
Stories by Moon_Called

Haley/The Oracle
Stories by MReav

Tsukiko/Flesh Golem Roy
Lord Shojo/Belkar
Stories by Mr. Cales

Nale/Eastern Pantheon
Girard/Soon
Stories by NamonakiRei

The Snarl/Roy
Sarah Greenhilt/O-Chul
Miko/Oracle
Stories by Nathander

Celia/Thog
Lien/Hobgoblin Army
Daigo/Yokyok
Miko/Therka [Part 1]
Miko/Therka [Part 2]
Miko/Therka [Part 3]
Miko/Therka [Part 4]
Stories by NemoUtopia

Vaarsuvius/Black Dragon
Stories by Nerdanel

Male Sarah Greenhilt/Female Zz'dtri/IFCC
Stories by The Odor

Shojo/Miko
Argent/Razor
Blackwing/Haley
Gender-switched Oracle/Oracle
Haley/Lien
Vaarsuvius/Everyone [Part 3]
Haley/Vaarsuvius
Stories by Omergideon

Vaarsuvius/Inkyrius
Stories by Oooohaloophole

Nale/Sabine's Child [Part 1]
Nale/Sabine's Child [Part 2]
Stories by Pid6

Sarah Greenhilt/Hydra
Julio Scoundrel/Lord Shojo/Horace Greenhilt/Durokan/The IFCC
Stories by pnewman

Lien/Thog
Stories by PsychoPat

Nale/Haley and Elan/Celia
Haley/Vampire Shadowdancer
Redcloak/Tsukiko/Julio Scoundrel
Thog/Sabine
Thog/Sabine [Continued]
Thog/Sabine [Continued]
Thog/Sabine [Continued]
Stories by Ronnoc

Haley/Roy
Stories by RPGAgmJAY

O'Chul/Archon
Stories by Saeyan

Vaarsuvius/Aarindarius
Stories by SaintRidley

Celia/TiVo
Stories by Sequinox

Spongebob/Julio Scoundrel
Mr. Scruffy/Dangerous Trap
Stories by Sereg

Roy/Celia
Xykon/Celia
Tsukiko/Horace Greenhilt
Xykon/Redcloak [Part 1]
Xykon/Redcloak [Part 2]
Dragon's Hoard/Jephton/Haerta/Ganneron
Durkon/Death Knight
Pit Fiend/Zz'dtri
Therkla/Thieves Guild Member
Durkon/Vaarsuvius
Mr. Scruffy/Snuggles
Therkla/Banjo
Elan/Vaarsuvius
Julia/Durkon
Belkar/Nacle
Belkar/Crystal
Vaarsuvius/Haley's Personality Aspects
Haley/Celia
Roy/Eugene
Julio Scoundrel/Julio Scoundrel
Thog/Miko [Part 1]
Thog/Miko [Part 2]
Stories by Sewblon

Redcloak/Xykon
Stories by ShinyDelusion

Julia/Thog
Vaarsuvius/Haley/Elan [Part 1]
Vaarsuvius/Haley/Elan [Part 3] [Continuation from Discord's part]
Belkar/Matt
Elan/Haley/Roy
Hinjo/Tsukiko [Part 1]
Hinjo/Tsukiko [Part 2]
Janine/Lloyd
Nale/Sabine
Stories by ShneekeyTheLost

Tsukiko/Vaarsuvius (http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5626418/1/Now_Entering)
Stories by Silverraptor

Belkar/Nale
Miko/Hinjo
Inkyrius [Part 1], [Part 2], [Part 3], [Part 4]
Julia/Celia
Crystal/Belkar
Haley's Dream
Guy with the Halberd/Girl with the Halberd
Kazumi/Daigo
Kubota/Lien
Ceila/Mr Rodriguez
Tsukiko/Oracle
Elan/Vaarsuvius
Stories by Somniloquist

Nale/Therkla
Stories by Sstoopidtallkid

Sabine/Vaarsuvius
Mr. Scruffy/Scorpion
Weasel/Matt
Vaarsuvius/Dragon
Stories by Taekwondodo

Hinjo/Zz'dtri
Bozzak/Mr Rodriguez
Elan/The Cliffport Chief of Police
Therkla/Julio Scoundrel
Nale/Julio Scoundrel
Thanh/Female NPC
Windstriker/Argent
Edward/Tsukiko
Trigak/Sunken Valley Hydra [Part 1]
Trigak/Sunken Valley Hydra [Part 2]
Mr. Scruffy/Lord Shojo
Stories by Tatterdemalion

Miko/Soon Kim
Windstriker/Celia
Thog/Ian Starshine
MiTD/Haley
Nale/The Entire Hobgoblin Army
Stories by Thor Person Guy

Kazumi/Lord Shojo
Stories by Tira-chan

Roy/Elan
Therkla/Nale/Sabine
Haley/Mr. Scruffy
Stories by TooManySecrets

Roy/Xykon
Stories by TSED

Julia Greenhilt/The Chimera
Stories by waterpenguin43

Sabine/Vaarsuvius
Hilgya/Durkon
Miko/Tsukiko
Stories by Water-Smurf

In the Arms of Morpheus
Redcloak/Vaarsuvius [Part 1]
Redcloak/Vaarsuvius [Part 2]
Redcloak/Vaarsuvius [Part 3]
Redcloak/Vaarsuvius [Part 4]
Redcloak/Vaarsuvius [Part 5]
Redcloak/Vaarsuvius [Part 6]
Redcloak/Vaarsuvius [Part 7]
Redcloak/Vaarsuvius [Part 8]
Redcloak/Vaarsuvius [Part 9]
Redcloak/Vaarsuvius [Part 10]
Redcloak/Vaarsuvius [Part 11]
Redcloak/Vaarsuvius [Part 12]
Redcloak/Vaarsuvius [Part 13]
Icelus
Vaarsuvius
Curse of Phobetor
Redcloak/Vaarsuvius [Part 1]
Redcloak/Vaarsuvius [Part 2]
Redcloak/Vaarsuvius [Part 3]
Redcloak/Vaarsuvius [Part 4]
Redcloak/Vaarsuvius [Part 5]
Redcloak/Vaarsuvius [Part 6]
Redcloak/Vaarsuvius [Part 7]
Redcloak/Vaarsuvius [Part 8]
Redcloak/Vaarsuvius [Part 9]
Redcloak/Vaarsuvius [Part 10]
Redcloak/Vaarsuvius [Part 11]
Redcloak/Vaarsuvius [Part 12]
Redcloak/Vaarsuvius [Part 13]
Redcloak/Vaarsuvius [Part 14]
Tragedy of Hypnos
Redcloak/V Spawnfic [Part 1]
Redcloak/V Spawnfic [Part 2]
Pasithea's Messenger
Redcloak/V Spawnfic [Part 1]
Redcloak/V Spawnfic [Part 2]
Redcloak/V Spawnfic [Part 3]
Redcloak/V Spawnfic [Part 4]
Redcloak/V Spawnfic [Part 5]
Redcloak/V Spawnfic [Part 6]
Redcloak/V Spawnfic [Part 7]
Redcloak/V Spawnfic [Part 8] (http://water-smurf.deviantart.com/art/Pasithea-s-Messenger-Chapter-148341185)
Bridge Across the Stars
Redcloak/Vaarsuvius
In Vino Veritas
Belkar/Vaarsuvius
Claude Os, Aperi Oculos!
Belkar/Vaarsuvius (http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5043788/1/Claude_Os_Aperi_Oculos)
Quos Amor Verus Tenuit, Tenebit
Belkar/Vaarsuvius (http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5140664/1/Quos_Amor_Verus_Tenuit_Tenebit)
Acta Non Verba
Belkar/Vaarsuvius [Part 1]
Belkar/Vaarsuvius [Part 2]
Pawns of the Gods
Mijung/Yutrin [Part 1]
Mijung/Yutrin [Part 2]
Mijung/Yutrin [Part 3]
Mijung/Yutrin [Part 4]
Mijung/Yutrin [Part 5]
Stories by Weimann

Jephton/Haetra/Ganonron/Julia Greenhilt/Jirix
Overpriced Apple Girl/The Most Awesome Pickpockets In The ENTIRE WORLD!
Overpriced Apple Girl/The Most Awesome Pickpockets In The ENTIRE WORLD! [Continued]
Stories by WhereamI?

Belkar/Vaarsuvius
Stories by Xesirin

Daigo/Elan
Miko/Daigo
Stories by Yiuel

Roy and Celia's Son/Elan and Haley's Daughter
Therkla/Yiuel
Stories by yubel

Stewie Griffin/Thog
Stories by Zanaril

Male Sarah Greenhilt/Female Zz'dtri/IFCC
Xykon/Vaarsuvius
Therkla/Belkar/Tsukiko
Therkla/Belkar/Tsukiko [Continued]
Mr Rodrigez/Gender-Swiched Mr Rodrigez
Vaarsuvius/Zz'dtri [continuation of Discord's story]
Vaarsuvius/Zz'dtri
Aarindarius/Inkyrius
Aarindarius/Inkyrius
Aarindarius/Inkyrius
Aarindarius/Inkyrius
Blackwing/Lizard Vaarsuvius
The IFCC/Zombie Dragon Head
Vaarsuvius/The Snarl
Vaarsuvius/Inkyrius/Aarindarius
Vaarsuvius/Haerta [Part 1]
Vaarsuvius/Haerta [Part 2]
Vaarsuvius/Haley/Vaarsuvius
Tass/Crack Pairings Thread
Vaarsuvius/Julio Scoundrel
Closak/ABD
Vaarsuvius/Everyone [Part 1]
Vaarsuvius/Everyone [Part 4]
Vaarsuvius/MitD
Stories by Zen_Heart

Belkar/Zz'dtri
Belkar/Zz'dtri [Continued]
Belkar/Zz'dtri [Continued]
Stories by Ziren

Tsukiko/Durkon
Tsukiko/Lord Kubota
Cliffport Chief/Nale
Bandit King/Redcloak
Stories by Zolkabro

Durkon/Demon Roach

Lira

2009-12-29, 08:33 PM

Crack Pairings Art Compilation
A compilation of the art made specifically for the Crack Pairings Thread.

Art by BatRobin

http://i35.tinypic.com/2m29wkg.png
Tiasal (version one).

http://i45.tinypic.com/9gh7qd.png
Tiasal (version two).

Art by Belkster11

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v307/LinktheZora/GAH.png
Sangwaan and Hinjo.

Art by CheeseMuncher

http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3536/3878328526_745d43c948_m.jpg
Vaarsuvius and Redcloak.

http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3435/3878617451_1cd23c8772_m.jpg
Belkar.

http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2557/3932510166_c526e4eccf.jpg
Vaarsuvius and Redcloak.

http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2641/3931732165_ee28b67b0e.jpg
Vaarsuvius and Roy.

http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2672/3939118618_44f0e537bf.jpg
Xykon and Redcloak.

http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2599/3942544402_59b0951702.jpg
Redcloak and Vaarsuvius.

http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2485/3953356579_a7620e5547.jpg
Tsukiko and Redcloak.

http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3452/3963417589_a1a6f4c1eb.jpg
Tsukiko and Redcloak (coloured version).

http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2510/3954135652_dcbb26922e.jpg
Spliced Inkyrius.

http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2445/3954135712_8542b56208.jpg
Vaarsuvius.

http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3520/4035798224_c6c54607c4_o.jpg
Child of Redcloak and Vaarsuvius.

http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2781/4061854758_212cd024aa_m.jpg
Child of Redcloak and Vaarsuvius.

http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2628/4151291716_dab0323b09.jpg
Celia and Vaarsuvius.

http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2518/4166659005_d03feb44e7.jpg
Redcloak and Xykon.

Art by CoffeeIncluded

http://i909.photobucket.com/albums/ac294/caffeineincluded/SantasWorkshop.png
Inkyrius, Vaarsuvius and their children.

Art by Delorges

http://img137.imageshack.us/img137/5862/varreddie.png
Vaarsuvius and Redcloak.

http://img38.imageshack.us/img38/2786/mikochul.png
Miko and O-Chul.

Art by Discord

http://i697.photobucket.com/albums/vv331/Discordd/OotS/mavundead.png
Vaarsuvius and Miko.

http://i697.photobucket.com/albums/vv331/Discordd/OotS/VxTsukiko1.png
Tsukiko and Vaarsuvius.

http://i697.photobucket.com/albums/vv331/Discordd/OotS/VxTsukiko2.png
Vaarsuvius and Tsukiko.

http://i697.photobucket.com/albums/vv331/Discordd/OotS/LirianxAarindarius1.png
Lirian and Aarindarius.

http://i697.photobucket.com/albums/vv331/Discordd/OotS/VxHaerta1.png
Haerta and Vaarsuvius.

http://i697.photobucket.com/albums/vv331/Discordd/OotS/VxTsukiko3.png
Vaarsuvius, Tsukiko, and their child.

http://i697.photobucket.com/albums/vv331/Discordd/OotS/VxMiko1.png
Miko and Vaarsuvius.

http://i697.photobucket.com/albums/vv331/Discordd/OotS/VxHaley1.png
Haley and Vaarsuvius.

http://i697.photobucket.com/albums/vv331/Discordd/OotS/RoyxElan1.png
Roy and Elan.

http://i697.photobucket.com/albums/vv331/Discordd/OotS/LirianxAarindarius2.png
Aarindarius and Lirian.

http://i697.photobucket.com/albums/vv331/Discordd/OotS/CeliaxHaley1.png
Haley and Celia.

Art by Expeditious

http://i126.photobucket.com/albums/p81/bluebirdtexas/vandbw.png
Vaarsuvius and Blackwing.

http://i126.photobucket.com/albums/p81/bluebirdtexas/vaarsuviuscoldshower.png
Vaarsuvius.

Art by Funky Goose

http://i840.photobucket.com/albums/zz327/funkygoose/Redcloack-V1.png
http://i840.photobucket.com/albums/zz327/funkygoose/Redcloack-V2.png
http://i840.photobucket.com/albums/zz327/funkygoose/Redcloack-V3.png
http://i840.photobucket.com/albums/zz327/funkygoose/Redcloack-V4.png
A comic version of Water-Smurf's Vaarsuvius/Redcloak story.

http://i840.photobucket.com/albums/zz327/funkygoose/path3034.png
Half-dragon child of Belkar.

http://i840.photobucket.com/albums/zz327/funkygoose/Scene.png
Young Roy and the Little Psion that Could.

Art by half-halfling

http://i750.photobucket.com/albums/xx144/half-halfling/rys.jpg
Vaarsuvius and V's personifications of femininity and masculinity.

http://i750.photobucket.com/albums/xx144/half-halfling/rys2.png
Vaarsuvius, Inkyrius, their children and the soul splice.

http://i750.photobucket.com/albums/xx144/half-halfling/rys2-1.png
Tsukiko and Jirix.

http://i750.photobucket.com/albums/xx144/half-halfling/V3.png
Haley and Vaarsuvius.

http://i750.photobucket.com/albums/xx144/half-halfling/Untitled.png
MiTD and Tsukiko.

http://i750.photobucket.com/albums/xx144/half-halfling/Untitled-1.png
Child of Redcloak and Vaarsuvius.

http://i750.photobucket.com/albums/xx144/half-halfling/Beztytuu.png
Inkyrius and Vaarsuvius.

http://i750.photobucket.com/albums/xx144/half-halfling/Beztytuu-1.png
Vaarsuvius' Parent and young Vaarsuvius.

http://i750.photobucket.com/albums/xx144/half-halfling/Untitled-2.png
Inkyrius and Vaarsuvius.

http://i750.photobucket.com/albums/xx144/half-halfling/rys-1.png
Vaarsuvius and Redcloak.

http://i750.photobucket.com/albums/xx144/half-halfling/Untitled-4.png
Tiasal and Terentius.

http://i750.photobucket.com/albums/xx144/half-halfling/KAYTARA.png
Jirix, Tsukiko, Redcloak, Celia, Belkar, Roy, Haley, Vaarsuvius, Inkyrius and their children, wishing Kaytara a happy birthday.

http://i750.photobucket.com/albums/xx144/half-halfling/c5.png
Tiasal, Tsukiko, and Xykon.

http://i750.photobucket.com/albums/xx144/half-halfling/PNSAPD.png
Plushie Dragon Vaarsuvius.

http://i750.photobucket.com/albums/xx144/half-halfling/ch1.png
Aarindarius, Vaarsuvius, Inkyrius and their children.

http://i750.photobucket.com/albums/xx144/half-halfling/Aarindarius.png
Aarindarius.

http://i750.photobucket.com/albums/xx144/half-halfling/MxR.png
Roy and Miko.

http://i750.photobucket.com/albums/xx144/half-halfling/TxM.png
Therkla and Miko.

http://i750.photobucket.com/albums/xx144/half-halfling/mxr2c.png
Elan, Roy, and Miko.

http://i750.photobucket.com/albums/xx144/half-halfling/hxdt.png
A scene from Water-Smurf's fanfic, featuring Haley, Roy, Elan, and a mysterious creature.

http://i750.photobucket.com/albums/xx144/half-halfling/spoon.png
Aarindarius and Inkyrius.

Art by Kaytara

http://img179.imageshack.us/img179/2879/vstudying.png
Vaarsuvius.

http://img147.imageshack.us/img147/9021/vredcloak.png
Vaarsuvius and Redcloak.

http://img12.imageshack.us/img12/5314/pris2.png
Vaarsuvius.

http://img22.imageshack.us/img22/6888/royv.png
Vaarsuvius and Roy.

http://img40.imageshack.us/img40/1084/royvcolour.png
Vaarsuvius and Roy (coloured version).

http://img14.imageshack.us/img14/2104/vchild.png
Young Vaarsuvius.

http://img214.imageshack.us/img214/8150/splicedkyrie.png
Spliced Inkyrius.

http://img198.imageshack.us/img198/5536/vmiko.png
Vaarsuvius and Miko.

http://img42.imageshack.us/img42/204/vmikocolour.png
Vaarsuvius and Miko (coloured version).

http://img195.imageshack.us/img195/9318/vreddie.png
Redcloak and Vaarsuvius.

http://img511.imageshack.us/img511/1083/ootspets.png
Mr. Scruffy, Belkar, Vaarsuvius, and Blackwing.

http://img23.imageshack.us/img23/1300/aandy2.png
Aarindarius.

http://img196.imageshack.us/img196/4221/aandy.png
Aarindarius.

http://img682.imageshack.us/img682/415/aandycoloured2.png
Aarindarius (coloured version).

http://img440.imageshack.us/img440/5345/vrcbaby.png
Redcloak, Vaarsuvius, and their child.

http://img38.imageshack.us/img38/8994/vrcbabycolour.png
Redcloak, Vaarsuvius, and their child (coloured version).

http://img513.imageshack.us/img513/3548/estrangement.png
Right-Eye and Redcloak.

http://img187.imageshack.us/img187/7347/tiasalfamily.png
Tiasal, Xykon, and Tsukiko.

http://img706.imageshack.us/img706/6537/tiasalcoloured.png
Tiasal.

Art by Kirby

http://img33.imageshack.us/img33/8592/vaausarvishaley.th.jpg
Haley and Vaarsuvius.

http://img27.imageshack.us/img27/6064/evilelan.th.png
Spliced Elan.

Art by MReav

http://i248.photobucket.com/albums/gg192/Cherpet/Personal%20Fun/Ochul.png
O-Chul and female members of the Sapphire Guard and Azurite soldiers.

Art by The Neoclassic

http://i449.photobucket.com/albums/qq218/Queenfange/OotS%20Characters/LienFiend1.png

http://i449.photobucket.com/albums/qq218/Queenfange/OotS%20Characters/LienFiend2.png
Lien and the Yellow-Eyed Fiend.

http://i449.photobucket.com/albums/qq218/Queenfange/OotS%20Characters/TeevoEvilLien.png
Evil Lien.

Art by Oooohaloophole

http://i786.photobucket.com/albums/yy146/MasterOfThePlanes/Eviltiasal.png
Tiasal as an infernal scion.

http://i786.photobucket.com/albums/yy146/MasterOfThePlanes/g3711.png
The Dark One and a goblin god (?).

http://i786.photobucket.com/albums/yy146/MasterOfThePlanes/g7544.png
Tiasal.

http://i786.photobucket.com/albums/yy146/MasterOfThePlanes/g3847.png
Tiasal.

http://i786.photobucket.com/albums/yy146/MasterOfThePlanes/g4188-1.png
Tiasal.

http://i786.photobucket.com/albums/yy146/MasterOfThePlanes/g4588.png
Tiasal.

Art by Saeyan

http://img257.imageshack.us/img257/2563/jpg1w.jpg
Vaarsuvius with a Miko doll.

http://img24.imageshack.us/img24/3189/jpgxwg.jpg
Vaarsuvius with a Miko doll.

http://img210.imageshack.us/img210/5248/guhwhat.jpg
Aarindarius and Inkyrius.

http://img32.imageshack.us/img32/2897/zanaril.jpg
Zz'dtri and Vaarsuvius.

http://img35.imageshack.us/img35/9333/kyrieborked.jpg
Inkyrius.

http://img142.imageshack.us/img142/8849/wtfgo.jpg
Aarindarius, Inkyrius, and Vaarsuvius.

http://img44.imageshack.us/img44/2589/20090910104023.jpg
A wanted sign for Zanaril.

http://img695.imageshack.us/img695/5982/20091211215502.jpg
A wanted sign for Zanaril (version 2).

http://img136.imageshack.us/img136/9130/37792864.jpg
Vaarsuvius.

http://img401.imageshack.us/img401/7391/dsc05772smallv.jpg
Inkyrius and Aarindarius, with Vaarsuvius and Zz'dtri in chibi form.

http://i33.tinypic.com/2coso77.png
Aarindarius, Inkyrius, and Vaarsuvius.

http://img25.imageshack.us/img25/8370/returnofthes.jpg
Inkyrius, Vaarsuvius, and Aarindarius.

http://img40.imageshack.us/img40/7219/dsc05996medium.jpg
Inkyrius and Vaarsuvius.

http://img257.imageshack.us/img257/2923/va2j.jpg
Aarindarius and Vaarsuvius.

http://img17.imageshack.us/img17/9062/dsc06230small.jpg
Vaarsuvius.

http://img263.imageshack.us/img263/1207/dsc06235small.jpg
Child of Redcloak and Vaarsuvius.

http://img22.imageshack.us/img22/3488/vsera.jpg
Vaarsuvius.

http://img200.imageshack.us/img200/7750/vchild.jpg
Vaarsuvius and V&RC's child.

http://img4.imageshack.us/img4/7338/dsc00503small.jpg
Tiasal.

http://img121.imageshack.us/img121/937/pelf.gif
Vaarsuvius.

http://img64.imageshack.us/img64/6765/tsukiko.jpg
Tsukiko.

http://img163.imageshack.us/img163/5153/dsc08108small.jpg
Scenario for Water-Smurf, featuring Tiasal and Redcloak.

http://img32.imageshack.us/img32/5670/vacompositionsmall.jpg
Vaarsuvius and Aarindarius.

http://img63.imageshack.us/img63/7307/screenshot170y.th.jpg (http://img63.imageshack.us/i/screenshot170y.jpg/)
Vaarsuvius and Inkyrius.

http://img686.imageshack.us/img686/3519/screenshot159k.th.jpg (http://img686.imageshack.us/i/screenshot159k.jpg/)
Vaarsuvius and Inkyrius.

http://img685.imageshack.us/img685/834/screenshot181.th.jpgAarindarius and Vaarsuvius.

Art by Tira-chan

http://i608.photobucket.com/albums/tt165/Tirajm/Picture003.jpg
Spock and Vaarsuvius.

Art by TooManySecrets

http://img512.imageshack.us/img512/4227/genmorph.png
Female living Xykon.

Art by Trixie

http://www.imageboo.com/files/oxkjoqgfvjhpwoxd5peh.png
Celia and Belkar.

http://www.imageboo.com/files/cckobz9fc5qm975121s0.png
Xykon, Tsukiko, and Miko.

Art by Yiuel

http://img13.imageshack.us/img13/7886/ootsjuniorforumrules.png
"The OOTS Jr."

http://img191.imageshack.us/img191/6460/boysbandpic.png
http://img191.imageshack.us/img191/2438/girlsbandpic.png
OOTS Jr.

http://img706.imageshack.us/img706/9439/introh.png
OOTS Jr.

http://img191.imageshack.us/img191/5346/winterdayootsjrnew.png
OOTS Jr.

http://img190.imageshack.us/img190/3967/ootsjrhs.png
OOTS Jr.

http://img704.imageshack.us/img704/8206/joanfanservice.png
Joan.

Art by Zanaril

http://i260.photobucket.com/albums/ii21/Zanaril/OOTSart/undeath.png
Undead Vaarsuvius and Xykon.

http://i260.photobucket.com/albums/ii21/Zanaril/OOTSart/inspiration.png
Miko and Vaarsuvius.

http://i260.photobucket.com/albums/ii21/Zanaril/OOTSart/9SMALL.png
Redcloak and Vaarsuvius.

http://i260.photobucket.com/albums/ii21/Zanaril/OOTSart/xykondress.png
Xykon.

http://i260.photobucket.com/albums/ii21/Zanaril/OOTSart/kyriesoulsplice.png
Spliced Inkyrius.

http://img10.imageshack.us/img10/7817/evilmuffingrin.png
Spliced Inkyrius.

http://i260.photobucket.com/albums/ii21/Zanaril/OOTSart/vxi.png
Spliced Inkyrius and Vaarsuvius.

http://i260.photobucket.com/albums/ii21/Zanaril/OOTSart/miniv.png
Young Vaarsuvius.

http://i920.photobucket.com/albums/ad44/ZanarilOOTS/Tiasal.png
Tiasal.

http://i260.photobucket.com/albums/ii21/Zanaril/OOTSart/windstrikerxargent.png
Argent and Windstriker.

http://i260.photobucket.com/albums/ii21/Zanaril/OOTSart/mistletoe.png
Aarindarius and Vaarsuvius.

http://i260.photobucket.com/albums/ii21/Zanaril/OOTSart/dragoninky.png
Child of Closak and the ABD.

http://i260.photobucket.com/albums/ii21/Zanaril/OOTSart/vxh.png
Haley and Vaarsuvius.

http://i260.photobucket.com/albums/ii21/Zanaril/OOTSart/hug-1.png
Vaarsuvius, Redcloak, and Tiasal.

http://i260.photobucket.com/albums/ii21/Zanaril/OOTSart/bahhumbug.png
Xykon and Tsukiko.

http://i260.photobucket.com/albums/ii21/Zanaril/OOTSart/vxt.png
Vaarsuvius and Tsukiko.

http://i260.photobucket.com/albums/ii21/Zanaril/OOTSart/vxtcolour.png
Vaarsuvius and Tsukiko (coloured version).

CoffeeIncluded

2009-12-29, 08:34 PM

YAY! New thread time! :smallbiggrin:

Also, anybody got a cold shower for Water-Smurf? She's been staring at her hands for the past 20 minutes.

The Dark Fiddler

2009-12-29, 08:37 PM

Ok guys, new thread, and it's all happy and good, but I think we've got to crack down a bit. I hate to be a killjoy, but our last thread strayed wildly off topic a lot. So, (just as an example, nothing meant personally, and no names given) even though we're sorry you're having school problems and love to help, that's not really the topic of the thread. The rest of the forum is full of kind people, and they'd help to if you asked. I don't want to have a mod in here for any reason other that to help us revel in our infamy, and off-topicness is one reason they might bring down the hammer on us.

Also, what's with the squickies?

CoffeeIncluded

2009-12-29, 08:39 PM

Water-Smurf

2009-12-29, 08:42 PM

Oh God, my head hurts like hell...

*rubs head*

Anyway, if we have to stay on topic, then we'll just... *rubs head again* you know, try to nudge each other in the right direction. We all want to keep the thread.

The Dark Fiddler

2009-12-29, 08:43 PM

I'm sorry, I just...You know.

I know, I've been somewhere near that myself before. Like I said, nothing personal, and I'm sure the kind folks at, for example, the Depression Thread(?) could help.

And you mean the squickies? ...I dunno...

I should have known enough to check the name before I posted. :smallsigh:

Nathander

2009-12-29, 08:50 PM

Man, moving to a new thread is like moving into a new house. It's always so empty when you first settle in.

ClericOfBelker

2009-12-29, 09:04 PM

*Hides from Watersmurf*

SHE"S STILL UNDER THE EFECTS OF THE LOVE POTION!

BatRobin

2009-12-29, 09:11 PM

Ok, someone roll me up a pairing, I feel like writing. :smallwink:

CoffeeIncluded

2009-12-29, 09:14 PM

Ok, someone roll me up a pairing, I feel like writing. :smallwink:

Julia Greenhilt/Durkon.

GogoGO!

The Dark Fiddler

2009-12-29, 09:15 PM

Julia Greenhilt/Durkon.

GogoGO!

:durkon: Lass, ye need to respect yet body.
Julia: Teach me, you Dwarf!

Kyronea

2009-12-29, 09:16 PM

You know, I remember back when this first got started, when it was just a few tables, you roll, then post a sentence or two of silliness--if that.

Now, it's turned into an amazing writer's workshop, where the budding authors of the GITP forums cut their teeth and hone their skills as they work to master their craft.

Well done, everyone. :smallsmile:

The Dark Fiddler

2009-12-29, 09:20 PM

Now, it's turned into an amazing writer's workshop, where the budding authors of the GITP forums cut their teeth and hone their skills as they work to master their craft.

Which is why I entertained the idea of moving the thread to the Arts and Crafts forum.

CoffeeIncluded

2009-12-29, 09:24 PM

Which is why I entertained the idea of moving the thread to the Arts and Crafts forum.

Please don't.

ShinyDelusion

2009-12-29, 09:26 PM

Yay! New thread! So.

I was half asleep earlier today and was thinking about this thread and Coffee's comic (I don't know when I started thinking/dreaming about the Crack Pairing thread in bed, and I'd rather not contemplate the implications...) and I remembered someone asking why Matt wanted to stay out of Maximum Security (or whatever it was called if I'm remembering that wrong) aside from the fact it was Maximum Security. (Before I forget, speaking of Coffee's comic, I literally lol'd at your fan comic, Discord.) Then for some reason I imagined a Maximum Security that every criminal avoids at all costs, for its only occupant is a mass murderer halfling who has been alone so long (having quickly stabbed and beheaded any cell mates) that he's snapped and begun talking to the aforementioned severed heads, even affectionately petting one and calling it "Mr. Scruffy". Matt was thrown into Maximum Security for an hour once. First the halfling began ranting about what an obvious disguise "you androgynous twit" was wearing just to come in and gloat over him but then things got far more alarming when he started coming at him grinning maniacally and saying something along the lines of, "You know what happens to pretty, purple-haired, elves is prison?"

I'll admit, I did consider keeping this thought to myself, but, then I thought about how I would feel if something I'd written had inspired a zany, slightly disturbing, crossover crack pairing, so I figured Coffee wouldn't mind. :smallwink:

If only I could figure out how Belkar ended up there in the first place, I could almost write the fic...

:durkon: Lass, ye need to respect yet body.
Julia: Teach me, you Dwarf!

Yes. This simply must be written.

CoffeeIncluded

2009-12-29, 09:30 PM

Yay! New thread! So.

I was half asleep earlier today and was thinking about this thread and Coffee's comic (I don't know when I started thinking/dreaming about the Crack Pairing thread in bed, and I'd rather not contemplate the implications...) and I remembered someone asking why Matt wanted to stay out of Maximum Security (or whatever it was called if I'm remembering that wrong) aside from the fact it was Maximum Security. (Before I forget, speaking of Coffee's comic, I literally lol'd at your fan comic, Discord.) Then for some reason I imagined a Maximum Security that every criminal avoids at all costs, for its only occupant is a mass murderer halfling who has been alone so long (having quickly stabbed and beheaded any cell mates) that he's snapped and begun talking to the aforementioned severed heads, even affectionately petting one and calling it "Mr. Scruffy". Matt was thrown into Maximum Security for an hour once. First the halfling began ranting about what an obvious disguise "you androgynous twit" was wearing just to come in and gloat over him but then things got far more alarming when he started coming at him grinning maniacally and saying something along the lines of, "You know what happens to pretty, purple-haired, elves is prison?"

I'll admit, I did consider keeping this thought to myself, but, then I thought about how I would feel if something I'd written had inspired a zany, slightly disturbing, crossover crack pairing, so I figured Coffee wouldn't mind. :smallwink:

If only I could figure out how Belkar ended up there in the first place, I could almost write the fic...

I don't mind at all. Seriously. Go nuts; I love this!

Oh, and even better? Matt hates elves.

Silverraptor

2009-12-29, 09:31 PM

I know this is off topic. But I'll make it quick...

No, not really. It's just that I've been doing other things simultaneously and didn't start reading as soon as you requested. It only took me two sessions. I must confess that I'm finding the plot a little...slow. However, I'm still enjoying it and that's not really unexpected at the beggining of a webcomic.

Yeah. I'm sorry about that. But once you get past the first 10 comics, it starts picking up. Basically, the first ten is to establish the characters and the settings so well that no one will get lost.

ShinyDelusion

2009-12-29, 09:32 PM

I don't mind at all. Seriously. Go nuts; I love this!

Yay! Glad I didn't get a :eek: for that thought! If I find the time and inspiration, perhaps I shall write it tomorrow or later tonight.

Water-Smurf

2009-12-29, 09:37 PM

Yay! Glad I didn't get a :eek: for that thought! If I find the time and inspiration, perhaps I shall write it tomorrow or later tonight.

I only know of a small handful of authors who don't appreciate fanfiction, speculation, fan art, etc. It's just something that shows that you really like a story, and I think that I speak for a lot of people when I say that it gives a good bunch of authors a small high to see stuff like that.

So, really, asking to use other people's continuities/characters, while courteous, is most likely just politeness for the sake of politeness. Most people, myself included, give an immediate 'yes.'

CoffeeIncluded

2009-12-29, 09:41 PM

Oh, and for those who want another crack pairing with my comics, here's some inspiration for you!:

Take a look at the one that I just updated.

How are they going to heal that? :smallamused:

Silverraptor

2009-12-29, 09:43 PM

Oh, and for those who want another crack pairing with my comics, here's some inspiration for you!:

Take a look at the one that I just updated.

How are they going to heal that? :smallamused:

Think Paladin/Lloyd, aka "Lay on Hands":smallamused:

ShinyDelusion

2009-12-29, 09:46 PM

I only know of a small handful of authors who don't appreciate fanfiction, speculation, fan art, etc. It's just something that shows that you really like a story, and I think that I speak for a lot of people when I say that it gives a good bunch of authors a small high to see stuff like that.

So, really, asking to use other people's continuities/characters, while courteous, is most likely just politeness for the sake of politeness. Most people, myself included, give an immediate 'yes.'

I figured (like I said, if someone did the same for something of mine (not that I have a lot of original work to speak of in the first place) I'd definitely be cool with it), but I was a little apprehensive about the possibility that I was walking the line between "d'Aww! She wants to write a fan fic!" and "Dude! Who comes up with suggestive prison scenes involving Belkar while half-asleep?!"

Sstoopidtallkid

2009-12-29, 09:49 PM

BatRobin

2009-12-29, 09:50 PM

Ok, I'll write Julia/Durkon, but it'll:

-Be taking place right after weathercontrolweathercontrolweathercontrolweatherc ontrolweathercontrolweathercontrolweathercontrolwe athercontrolweathercontrol so therefore out fo storyline

-and be tomorrow, I'm sleepy now.

CoffeeIncluded

2009-12-29, 09:54 PM

I may post a fanfic for your comic tonight CI, though I doubt it will be what you expect. :smallwink:

Edit:I may want to make some actual quotes out of context, it essentially starts by creating overtones that were not there during one of the strips, that okay?

Okay. Just don't make it R-rated. That's my only guideline.

This should be great. :smalltongue:

Yay Batrobin! :smallbiggrin:

ShneekeyTheLost

2009-12-29, 10:14 PM

Dark_Stryke

2009-12-29, 10:15 PM

I've thoroughly enjoyed it so far, and will likely to continue to do so, barring a catastrophic author breakdown.

Figured I'd reply to this here. Thanks for the kind words, and I don't plan on a catastrophic author breakdown, but who knows? I could snap at any moment!

As for the "new" "rules" (I put both in quotations because neither is entirely accurate), what is considered on-topic and what isn't?

Like, obviously any story or discussion of a story is on-topic. What about talking about Coffee and Silver's comics? My inner rules lawyer says no, but, as Kyronea pointed out, this thread has expanded into something of a writers' workshop, and Coffee's characters at least are available to be Crack Paired.

I think no matter what some off-topic discussion is going to come up. The best we can do is try to minimize it or move it to another thread.

And finally: New Thread! Wooooo!

CoffeeIncluded

2009-12-29, 10:15 PM

Sstoopidtallkid

2009-12-29, 10:16 PM

Doing a bit of polishing on my Darth V x Tsikiko ship in the intervening time frame before I'm allowed to post on FF.net. I must say, it is... very citrus flavored. Although not for all audiences. I may have to put sufficient 'tags' to warn people what they're about to get into before reading.

I'd probably rate it 'M', on the FF.net ratingsYeah, did you notice I made my story both M and then added all sorts of "This is brain bleach worthy and creepy as all get out!" to it? There's a reason that I think the group will never flourish, but always have new materiel.

Edit: And should I add my Murphy's Law story to CI's thread or this one?

CoffeeIncluded

2009-12-29, 10:22 PM

Yeah, did you notice I made my story both M and then added all sorts of "This is brain bleach worthy and creepy as all get out!" to it? There's a reason that I think the group will never flourish, but always have new materiel.

Edit: And should I add my Murphy's Law story to CI's thread or this one?

Uhm, both, please? Thanks.

ShneekeyTheLost

2009-12-29, 10:27 PM

I like lemonade and lemon snacks. :smallsmile:

Those are not the only flavors in this particular dish...

Yeah, did you notice I made my story both M and then added all sorts of "This is brain bleach worthy and creepy as all get out!" to it? There's a reason that I think the group will never flourish, but always have new materiel.

Edit: And should I add my Murphy's Law story to CI's thread or this one?

I am, at least, polite enough to warn readers *before* they feel a driving need to reach for the Brain Bleach... some things, you just can't un-read. And some people have certain... issues... with certain topics. I don't wish to offend anyone, so I at least ensure readers are informed.

CoffeeIncluded

2009-12-29, 10:30 PM

Those are not the only flavors in this particular dish...

Let's see just how high my Will Save against squick is, then. :smallbiggrin:

I've got quite a few bonuses to my save. :smallbiggrin:

Sstoopidtallkid

2009-12-29, 10:34 PM

Here's some Murphy's Law fic, warning:Complete and utter crack, and far less polished than I normally post. Humans are so confusing. A few minutes ago these two were at each other's throats over me, and now he's complimenting her on her clothes? And is she blushing when she says it goes well with her dress?
...oh my. "Show off your figure?" A rabbit would call that too forward. And she giggled? Well, at least he's keeping up the compliments, though he has no idea what' proper conversation is with ladies present. Aaand now he just called her attractive as crudely as he possibly could. Why is someone as
wise as she is falling for something as moronic as this? She must not be used to the idea that the guys of the world would want to see her figure, though really, he only cares about one thing...Oh no. She's calculating now. What is she thinking? Um...what does she mean, 'Has he ever had a 3-way?' AWAKEN SHOULD NOT BE USED FOR THIS!!!

Dang. That was totally worth it once he let me into his pants. Shorter than I'd planned, but I couldn't make the most obvious viewpoints work.

CoffeeIncluded

2009-12-29, 10:36 PM

ShneekeyTheLost

2009-12-29, 10:43 PM

Guys, am I being...Annoying?

Not in the slightest. Every author wishes his works read. An eager reader is an egobo for any author.

Sstoopidtallkid

2009-12-29, 10:46 PM

Weasel, Matt, and Radic. She...really loves nature, and wasn't willing to take on someone of Matt's expertise without help. I cut too much when I changed viewpoints. :smallredface:

CoffeeIncluded

2009-12-29, 10:48 PM

Weasel, Matt, and Radic. She...really loves nature, and wasn't willing to take on someone of Matt's expertise without help. I cut too much when I changed viewpoints. :smallredface:

...Well, put it back in! :smallbiggrin:

...Please?

Sstoopidtallkid

2009-12-29, 10:55 PM

I'll update it, since you asked so nicely. Gimme a bit, though. Most of what I cut was between panels 8 and 9, so I have to be cautious reworking it.

CoffeeIncluded

2009-12-29, 10:56 PM

I'll update it, since you asked so nicely. Gimme a bit, though. Most of what I cut was between panels 8 and 9, so I have to be cautious reworking it.

Hooray! Thank you!

Once again, apologies if I seem too overeager. I'm kinda like Elan. Except with decent INT and WIS scores.

Aaron

2009-12-30, 02:02 AM

Horay! New thread! PARTY TIME!

...:smallconfused: Hey, where'd Water-Smurf go?

Hooray! Thank you!

Once again, apologies if I seem too overeager. I'm kinda like Elan. Except with decent INT and WIS scores.

:smallconfused: Wait, only decent? :smalltongue:

Nathander

2009-12-30, 03:25 AM

Not in the slightest. Every author wishes his works read. An eager reader is an egobo for any author.

This, more or less. Though many authors won't directly ask for it, every author wants to know someone is reading, and enjoying, what they've wrote.

Anyhow, here's the third chapter of my Miko/Therkla fic, "Orphans", hot off the presses.

The silence in the room seemed almost oppressive, as if Miko’s words weighed down the atmosphere itself. Therkla found herself clenching and unclenching her hand, a subconscious reaction she had developed to keep herself from blurting out during moments of stress. That Miko would have snapped in some way wasn’t entirely surprising. Despite the collected demeanor the paladin had attempted to put, there was something clearly wrong with her if you but looked closer. In many ways, Kabuto had been banking on the woman snapping and being imprisoned as the most beneficial way of getting her out of the way while avoiding the distinct possibility of more of his House’s assassins dying then needed.

Though fighting it, Therkla allowed a small frown to form. It wasn’t that Kabuto necessarily cared for his ninjas; hell, he hadn’t even seen her as anything more than an important asset. Her death would have counted as a setback more than anything worth mourning. It didn’t bother her anymore (or ever again, she figured). She had long come to accept that the affection she had felt for the man was one-sided, that he’d never had seen her as the daughter figure she had wanted to be.

Clench. Unclench.

She shook her head as she looked over at the once-proud paladin who had been made nearly as humble after her fall. Miko had turned her attention from Therkla and Elan back to the tree, fixated on the plant. Therkla struggled to find something to say to the woman that could have any meaning to her. Her struggle ending fruitlessly, with her shaking her head in disappointment. Giving a small sigh, she turned to leave for breakfast. Elan lightly patted on the shoulder, smiling at her gently; what he lacked in intelligence and common sense, he seemed to be able to more than make up with empathy.

“Are you done then?” Miko asked, never turning to face the two of them.

Facing the door, Therkla asked “Done with what?”

“With your attempt to trap me.”

Clench

Therkla turned around, confounded by what the woman could be trying to get at. “Trap you?” She said each word slowly, as if only now discovering them. “Into what?’

Unclench

“Do not play coy with me.” Miko’s monotone broke once more, this time into indignation, before resurfacing again. “You knew that I was under arrest, and simply wanted to know the cause. That is the reason you engaged me, to try and guile me into telling you what it was.”

Clench

Therkla turned back to face the paladin, her mouth hanging slightly open. Even if Miko’s pride had flipped itself over into humility, her paranoia was apparently still working at full force. “Miko, you’ve got it wrong.”

“Do I?” Miko asked blandly, raising an eyebrow as she turned her head to face the half-orc.

Unclench

“Yes.” Therkla let out a small breath of relief. Even if so little had been said between the two of them, she wanted to get along with the paladin. After all, the two of them could very well be roommates for awhile if the fleet was still unable to find a port to settle in. They could very well be cellmates, all things considering, when the ships landed.

“Then you merely meant to embarrass me, is that it?” The sting of the question was elevated by the dull tone of voice Miko took.

Clench

“WHAT?” Therkla’s voice filled the room. She was surprised by how loud she could be; screaming didn’t tend to lend itself well when attempting to go unnoticed.

“You talked with me simply to get under my guard so you could force me to admit my faults for your own amusement.” Miko’s eyes stayed glued to the half-orc, emotion completely lost within them. “Why else would you show any interest in my exercise?”

“Maybe…maybe we should go.” Elan, forgotten and uncommonly quiet during the exchange between the women, implored. He hated seeing people fighting with each other, or being miserable in general. He’d found that it was a lost cause to try and cheer Miko up, but if he could find some way to keep Therkla happy at least, he’d take it.

“Go ahead. I’ll meet you in a minute.” The half-orcs’ voice remained calm, though Elan could hear the strain that had started to seep in.

“Therkla, are you…”

“Go.” her voice was a snarl, the small fangs at each side of her mouth seeming to become more pronounced. She felt a pang of guilt as she watched Elan sneak out the door, concern for her well-being still evident in his expression. Therkla averted her attention to the floor as she felt rage fill her, a rage she had struggled with for years. She told herself that it was simply an effect due to the orc blood that ran in her. She alone couldn’t simply have that much rage. Her fist began to shake, an outlet to keep her from completely letting the anger that ran through her take hold of her entirely.

Taking a deep breath, Therkla responded, “I wasn’t trying to trick you, Miko.” She monitored her voice, trying to make sure her mounting anger wasn’t becoming any more evident than it already was. “I just…I wanted to talk with you, and I didn’t know how to start.”

Miko simply stared at the woman for a moment. “And do you want to talk to me still?”

“Why wouldn’t I?” Her fist had stopped shaking, though remained clenched.

Miko stood up, eyes fixing on her tree for a minute before returning to Therkla again. “Really? You’d want to talk to a murderer?”

“It really wouldn’t be different than any other day for me.”

“None of the other murderers you know condemned an entire nation to destruction.” The neglect Miko had shown her own body was showing its toll more and more. Therkla found herself wondering when the last time the paladin had slept was. “If I had not slain Lord Shojo, Azure City would-“

“It would’ve still been overrun.” Therkla responded coolly. Maybe if she could find some way to nip the center of the self-loathing that had overtaken the woman, she could start to form some actual connection with her. “Listen, even if it was Lord Shojo trying to set up a defense, the nobles would’ve deserted him. Sure his death helped demoralize the people, but even the slight boost of morale he could have given wouldn’t have made a difference. There was just too much working against us from the start.”

“And that excuses my actions?” Miko’s voice was a hiss issuing through grated teeth, fury igniting in her eyes. Not desirable, but at least it was an emotion. Her body quivered for a moment, her voice cracking as she continued. “Do you know what it’s like to find yourself afraid to sleep? Afraid because you know the moment you close your eyes you won’t be able to get the image of the man who helped you achieve your potential…” tears began to form in her eyes, and she violently shook her head to be rid of them, “…who raised you…to see him die at your hands…to feel the warmth of his blood as it hits your face-“

“You’re not the only one who’s lost a father.”

“I’m the only one who’s murdered theirs, however.” Miko regained her composure, the fear and sadness leaving as if they had melded back into her. “For that, I intend to make sure I receive the punishment I’m due.”

Therkla found herself unable to keep her expression neutral, a frown overtaking her features. Attempting to talk with Miko, it seemed, entitled a constantly shifting set of emotions. “You made a mistake.” She said softly, attempting to return to the affable tone she had with Miko before. “You’ve realized you were wrong. You can still make up for it.”

“How?”

“Maybe if you show you’re penitent, you’ll be shown mercy.” Therkla walked slowly towards the paladin as she talked. “Maybe they’ll send you on a quest or something to atone. You could become a paladin again.”

“A quest.” A corner of Miko’s mouth twitched slightly, curving into a small, pointed smile. “You think that’s all it takes to make up for what I did? To just wander around, smiting what I thought were ‘evildoers’ when the real evil-doer was with me the entire time.” Her voice had lifted into a hollow and ugly laugh. “Tell me, how would that solve anything?”

Therkla bit her bottom lip to stifle a scream. Despite having peered on several of the paladin’s conversations before, she hadn’t realized just how insufferable talking to the woman was until she had tried it herself. She could feel her fist begin to shake again, and attempted to stop it. “You’re right.” Her voice came out struggling for control. “Why go out and try to do some good in the world? You’re better off just sitting in a dark room, letting yourself wither away.” She let out a short cruel laugh. “You’re sure making a lot out of having survived a battle that killed most of your city’s defenders, huh?”

“You don’t understand.” Miko’s right hand shot out, index finger pointing at the half-orc. “You can’t understand.”

“I can’t understand what?” Therkla gave up any attempt to be polite to the woman. There was no warrior left in her, nothing to admire; just a withered shell. “What it’s like to lose something important to you? Something you lived for? You’re not that special, Miko.”

“I know I’m not special.” Miko turned and sat down yet again in front of the tree, resting her chin in her palm. “I’m nothing.”

Therkla turned away from the paladin and headed towards the door, boots stomping loudly on the boards of the cabin. She brushed past the guards beside the door easily and stomped towards the small group on deck eating their breakfast. She resisted the urge to strike one of the walls of the ship or the ground; any other time she had attempted to relieve her anger through a physical means, she’d simply wound up in a near rage. Besides, if Miko wanted to refuse any help given to her, to decide to simply rot away when she could be saved, then to hell with her, right? She wasn’t going to waste any more of her time on the woman.

Yet Therkla knew she was lying to herself. For some reason, she found she couldn’t let the idea of saving Miko go. She supposed it was due to the fact that of everyone left that had survived the battle and the following three months at sea, she was the most familiar with the fallen paladin. All of the years of spying on the woman on Kabuto’s orders had bred a sense of familiarity with the woman, despite the fact that Therkla had never tried to openly approach her until today. In an odd way, Miko was the only remaining piece of the life she had remaining from the destruction of Azure City, and she didn’t want to let it go.

Her thoughts were quickly broken as she lurched back, a plate of food nearly striking her in the lips. She was prepared to yell at whatever numbskull had thought forcing the plate towards her was a good idea until she noticed it was Elan. Smiling his goofy smile, he told her, “I saved you a plate.”

Therkla nodded and took the plate gratefully, smiling back. She didn’t trust herself to speak, not with her emotions strung so high. She sat down on deck and, taking up her chopsticks, began to eat. She let out a small sound of pleasure, the food still warm. The bard sat down beside her, and the two ate in agreeable silence with one another. Therkla smirked as she watched the blonde-hair man eat; he’d found himself overly clumsy with chopsticks, and hate taken to eating his meals with a fork he had apparently packed away with him. The sight was cute to her, in its own odd way.

She felt a far stronger wave of warmth enter her body as she felt a firm hand place itself on her back. “Restoration.” Durkon’s voice was soft and comforting, and she felt the remaining strength she had lost from the poison come flooding back into her. The dwarf sat down on the other side of Elan, resting his own plate of food on his lap. Looking towards Therkla, he asked, “Sleep well, lass?”

“For the most part, yeah.” Therkla rolled her head a few times, limbering up. Bowing her head slightly to the dwarf, she said, “Thank you. For saving me.”

Smiling slightly as he ate, Durkon replied, “Think nothing o’ it. It’s me duty in this life ta do so.”

Finishing his plate, Elan sat the empty dish and curled his arms around his legs as he sat. “So…” he began, voice brimming with optimism as he turned to face the cleric, “did you get a reply?”

Durkon’s smile faded as he shook his head, Elan sighing and looking down into his lap. Therkla felt a pang of jealousy shoot through her. Therkla hoped whoever the woman was that Elan was pining for was just as miserable as he was, was torturing herself to get in touch with him. Therkla took a hasty bite of her food, trying to drive her current pattern of thought out; she’d already gotten upset more than she needed to once today; no sense in doing it again.

“Do you mind if I sit here?” The new voice was strong, but considerate. Looking up, Therkla found herself facing Hinjo, the current lord of Azure City. Or, at least, its people. His upbringing and royal heritage was obvious, though he possessed a sense of humility that was welcome rather than stifling, as Miko’s forced one had been.

“I’d think ya should be free to.” Durkon replied amiably, trying to provide an optimistic mood to cheer up his companion. “It’s yer junk we’re all gathered on, after all.”

“So it is.” Hinjo replied, a smile crossing his lips as he sat across from them. “Even after all these months, I can’t get over the fact that it’s mine now.” Taking a small bit of food in his chopsticks, he said pleasantly as he looked at the ninja, “And you’re Therkla, correct?”

Therkla nearly choked on her food, eventually swallowing the painful lump of food as she overcame her shock. How the man could sound so pleasant towards her after the times she and her men had tried to assassinate him confounded her. Placing her plate on the planks in front of her, she bowed before the man as she said, “I am, Lord Hinjo.” She spoke quickly, nearly stammering the words out. She was unaccustomed to showing etiquette for nobility to anyone aside from Kabuto.

“Please don’t do that.” Hinjo replied quickly, waving a hand to have her sit back down. She was shocked by the young lord’s own embarrassment, making it clear that he still hadn’t become used to being looked upon as his people’s ruler. Sitting back down, she wondered how long it would take him to get used to it. He surprised her again when his voice returned to its pleased tone as he said, “Elan told me about you.”

Looking at her plate, she stated, “So you know I was behind all the attempts to kill you?”

“Yeah, but he also knows you tried to stop Kabuto too, and that he almost killed you for it.” Elan added hastily.

The bard’s words seemed to have little effect on the woman. Looking up at Hinjo, she asked with her best poker face, “So what now?”

Placing his own plate beside him, Hinjo matched her gaze as he replied, “I’m afraid yours crimes will have to be brought up with the magistrates and court once we land. Unfortunately, it would seem I’m the one quickest to forgive you for trying to kill me.” He offered this last bit cheerily. When Therkla’s expression didn’t soften, he added, “While your crimes would be severe, the fact that you eventually rejected Kabuto’s orders says something about your character. I intend to see if I can afford you some leniency.”

“You think a lot better of me than you should.” Therkla turned her gaze from the paladin, eyes floating to look at the floor. She was tempted to tell him that, if it hadn’t been for the bard, there was little chance she would have ever disobeyed Kabuto. She tried to cut that line of thought off; there was no sense is sending herself spiraling into self-loathing like Miko had.

“Maybe.” Hinjo replied, taking his plate back up as he began to eat again. “But I don’t think so. It’s a rare case when someone is completely beyond redemption. I’d be surprised if it was out of your reach.”

“What about Miko?” The words slipped out of her without thought. Therkla found herself surprised by her own question, having thought she had been able to push the woman out of her thoughts for at least a few moments. Instead, she found the image of the woman coming clearly to her mind, and the rage she had felt towards the slowly dying woman was replaced with sadness. Mouth agape, she grasped for something else to say as her dining companions stared at her for a moment.

Clearing his throat, Hinjo asked, “How much do you know about Miko’s…infraction?”

“Enough.” She mentally kicked herself for her rudeness towards the man. Swallowing, she replied, “I know what she did, but not why she did it.”

“It’s a long story, and not mine to tell.” Hinjo began, one of his palms unfurled in front of him as he spoke. Pausing for a moment, he continued, “I want to forgive Miko; the fact that she feels repentant for her actions shows that she realizes she did something wrong. But instead of working towards redeeming herself, she’s chosen to condemn herself. It’s as if she doesn’t understand she’s been given a chance so few others have ever had.” A bit of anger entered Hinjo’s voice as he spoke.

Taking a deep breath, he looked Therkla in the eyes. The half-orc was amazed to see genuine concern there, concern for a woman who had murdered his last living relative. His tone was almost pleading as he continued, “If she were to just try and help herself, to find a different way to express her sorrow for her actions to me, I’d do what I could to help her, to try and get her a sentence aside from what otherwise awaits her. To give her the chance to redeem herself.” He closed his eyes as he finished, “But she has to be able to help herself first. I can’t carry her load myself, and I don’t want to be forced to throw her aside and let her sink.”

The three sat in silence for a moment before Therkla took her plate and stood up. Wetting her lips, she said, “If you don’t mind, I think I’d like to finish my meal in my cabin.”

A small smile curved onto Hinjo’s lips as he bowed his head slightly. “You’re excused.”

Turning to leave, Therkla turned back for a short moment as Elan called out. “Hey!” The bard smiled at her, his voice enthusiastic as he said, “Good luck!”

Therkla smiled as she headed back to Miko.

Miko looked at the door as the half-orc slammed it shut. She sighed, a light rattling sound, as she stood back up. She felt bad at having spoken the way she did to the ninja. She was displeased by that; she had fallen into a comfortable numbness before they had placed the ninja in her cabin. At first, she had thought the other woman wouldn’t have been a distraction, that she’d have minded her own business as Miko would mind hers. She felt guilt at having treated Therkla the way she did, and found that her numbness hadn’t let her escape guilt’s grasp as she had thought. That bothered her, but she knew it wouldn’t do so for long.

She went over to the window curtains the half-orc had opened and closed them, plunging the room into the dimness she had grown accustomed to. She returned to her tree and sat down, gritting her teeth as her joints creaked in pain. She could feel her ribs digging against her chest and breathed in deeply, ignoring the pain. The pain would only be momentary now; soon, she’d settle into the numbness she had been looking for since the battle. She found her mind suddenly rolling back to Therkla, and she wondered which martial class the half-orc would pursue. She needed some more training before she could hope to use a shinai correctly, let alone a martial weapon.

Miko shook her head, driving the thoughts back. What happened to the half-orc wasn’t her concern. The only thing that mattered to her now was the pleasant darkness and her tree. One of the leaves from the tree’s thin, brittle branches fell from its spot, and Miko extended her hand to catch it. It lightly touched her palm and rested there, and Miko studied it; to her surprise, there seemed to be a soft, blue light emitting from it.

“You know, I don’t think the diet was necessary Miko.” The leaf slipped through her fingers at the sound of the voice, and Miko realized the light wasn’t coming from the leaf. It was coming from behind her.

“Hell, I always thought you were a bit skinny even before this.” Straining, Miko stood up again and slowly peered behind her. “You could have done with a bit more on your plate now and then.”

She felt the breath leave her lungs at the sight, her body trembling. He appeared as she remembered him, not as he was in his last years; old, but still powerful and regal in appearance, his hair a pepper grey instead of pure white, his posture straight and unstrained. But most of all she knew the smile; a small, ephemeral thing that seemed to say it was in on a joke few others knew or would ever know, a joke that never seemed to end.

“Hello, Miko.” Shojo said. “We need to talk."

Any criticism/thoughts would be welcome. :D

:durkon:Lass, ye need to respect yet body.
Julia: Teach me, you Dwarf!

A triumph. This could be the whole fanfic, and I think it would still be labeled a success.

Zanaril

2009-12-30, 05:10 AM

Aww, you guys started the new thread while I was asleep. :smallfrown:

This is what I get for going to bed at a reasonable time.

ShneekeyTheLost

2009-12-30, 05:32 AM

Here's a sneak preview of the first portion of my story... the part which can be safely posted to the forums, anyways. Still can't post on FF.net until tomorrow.

Tsukiko couldn't sleep. Between the 'informational interviews' with that paladin, the antics of... whatever the hell was under that umbrella, and the pitter-patter of thousands of stinking (and the term is used advisedly) Hobgoblins, it was rather difficult to obtain any measure of sleep without some sort of Cone of Silence. Which she wasn't going to use, because of the off chance that Redcloak might send someone down to quietly off her. And she was never one to let down her guard anyways.

So, after looking in on her cute little wights, to make sure they had their fill of their daily requirement of living flesh (and a few less noisy hobbos to take up space around here), she decided to go wandering the premises. After all, she never got a chance to see much of the castle before His Litchness showed up. So strong too...

She shook her head to derail that train of thought. It was clear that Xykon was not going to indulge in any biophilia with her, worse luck, and fantasizing about it wasn't going to do her any good.

She hadn't bothered changing out of her nightie, mostly because it was even more heavily enchanted than her corset was, and who the hell cared about AC when Miss Chance is where it's at in combat? Not that she ever intended to let any brawny type with an oversized phallic symbol get close enough to her to risk being hit in the first place. And really, with Fortification, it's a good bet that even the Skank couldn't really do much to her, with even-odds that she'd do minimal damage anyways.

Besides, it was so much fun to taunt the Hobbos, and she was a few HD shy of her Control cap anyways.

A thunderous boom shook the castle grounds and knocked her to her knees from the back blast. Quickly, she started casting Fly... defense first, after all. But a voice behind her called out first...

"Evard's Black Tentacles."

Zanaril

2009-12-30, 05:36 AM

Here's a sneak preview of the first portion of my story... the part which can be safely posted to the forums, anyways. Still can't post on FF.net until tomorrow.

*rubs hands gleefully*

And I'll try to get this drawing finished in the meantime.

Asta Kask

2009-12-30, 05:36 AM

Oh God, my head hurts like hell...

*rubs head*

Bah! This is how we drink in Sweden!

*downs first drink*

"Well, that didn't have any effect."

*downs second drink*

"Well, that didn't have any effect."

*downs third drink*

"Well, that didn't have any effect."

*feels the effect of the first drink*

"Okay, just one more."

*downs fourth drink*

*drinks, two, three, and four start taking effect*

"Oh my... how could I become so drunk by only taking one more drink.

*keels over*

CoffeeIncluded

2009-12-30, 09:03 AM

*Grins evilly* Good work everyone!

Meg

2009-12-30, 10:34 AM

Any criticism/thoughts would be welcome. :D

Awesome. That is my thought.

silversaraph

2009-12-30, 11:14 AM

Meg

2009-12-30, 11:20 AM

*whips out roller*

Mr Scruffy + (Gender-switched Lord Shojo)
Kidnapped (By somebody inside or outside of the pairing)

Xykon's zombie dragon head + O-Chul
In the afterlife

Teevo + The chimera
American high school setting

Nale + Windstriker
Snowed in

(Gender-switched Belkar) + (Gender-switched Kazumi)
Pink frills and white lace

The dragon's hoard + Hieronymus Grubwiggler
Pregnancy (use male pregnancy if needed)

:smalleek: I think it's broken.

martinkou

2009-12-30, 11:21 AM

ShinyDelusion

2009-12-30, 11:21 AM

Wonderful chapter, Nathander! It feels like this is where the story's really starting to take off. Nice cliff-hanger too; is Soon an illusion? A ghost? A hallucination that shows that Miko's really coming unhinged? And what will he say to her? I hope to find out soon! :smallbiggrin:

Ooo, Shneeky, the teaser is definitely getting my attention. Can't wait to read the rest of it!

And now, the crossover you've all (well, probably mostly Coffee, actually) been waiting for: I bring you *drumroll* BelkarxMatt!

Starts immediately after the latest installment (9) of Murhpy's Law. (http://i909.photobucket.com/albums/ac294/caffeineincluded/DontWorryTheWeaselsAlright.png)

“Went down your--” Lloyd began to say.

“And that is all I’m going to say about it,” Matt cut him off flatly.

“Whatever,” said Lloyd, looking at Matt’s weasel-inflicted wounds critically, “You should probably go get Janine to heal you.”

“Can’t paladins heal?” Matt asked, not sure where Janine was and in no mood to search for her while every scratch on his body was still smarting.

“The technique’s called ‘Lay on Hands’,” Lloyd replied neutrally.

“Oh,” said Matt. A few seconds of silence passed. “This sucks,” he added in a grumble.

“More than max security?” Lloyd asked as a reminder.

“No,” said Matt darkly, staring broodingly into the middle distance.

---

It was two years ago, back when he was just learning how to get away with things and had recently tried to put a red streak in his hair. The hair was a minor fiasco—he’d bleached first and the red dye wasn’t strong enough, leaving the streak an embarrassingly pretty purplish pink; maybe he should try blue next time—but he was getting to be a really good rogue. Or so he thought.

In retrospect he realized that he probably shouldn’t have been so cocky—after all it was already the sixth time he’d been caught stealing and he’d only been at it a few months—but back in those days he’d felt like he could do anything, like he was untouchable. Sure, he’d gotten thrown in the local jailhouse once or twice, but those cells were a joke; he watched a party full of Level 2 adventures with not a rogue among them break out in ten minutes flat once. Of course, those were the lowest security cells, not max. He didn’t know yet that when they threw you in max, you weren’t getting yourself out any time soon unless you were epic level or something.

That day, the day he got caught for the sixth time, they threw him in max.

“I really am sorry, kid,” the warden had told him grimly, “But today we got three adventuring parties filled with chaotic types who thought they’d found the second easiest way to get some extra gps; the cells are packed, so you’re going to have to go in max.”

“Whatever,” Matt muttered.

A little annoyed by the boy’s indifference, the warden added, “Just so you know, your cell mate got life for massacring a relatively peaceful group of kobold merchants for the XP and…” He gulped. “Accessorizing opportunities.”

“Whatever,” Matt repeated. Wait a minute, what about accessorizing?

“He gets violent when we try to remove things from his cell,” he went on, now honestly angered by the boy’s lack of interest, “Such as the beheaded corpses of former cell mates…”

“What do you mean--” Matt began to ask, a little panicked, before regaining his cool. “You’re making that up just to scare me.”

“If only,” the warden said with a sigh, “I suggest you just try to have a conversation with him; some say the solitude’s made him snap. Ah, here we are.”

At first Matt thought his cellmate was a kobold. Then, gagging, he realized what the warden had meant by “accessorizing opportunities”.

“How’s it going, Killer?” the warden asked with false joviality.

Clutching a human skull pointed at the warden, the filthy Halfling shrieked, “Fireball! Fireball now, or I’ll give you something to Fear you worthless undead piece of crap!”

“This is your new roomie!” the warden continued, forcing himself to smile in the hope that the Halfling would calm down, “His name is Matthew Silver.”

Matt was too terrified to correct him.

While the Halfling did something partially hidden but, Matt feared, definitely obscene to the skull that wouldn’t obey his commands, the warden very quickly unlocked the cell, shoved Matt in, and relocked it.

“I really am sorry,” the warden told Matt again, “If one of those parties breaks out, I’ll get you out of here pronto, but…” He glanced at the Halfling. “It’d be a lie to tell you anything but this: From here it can only get worse.”

He left Matt alone with this thought. And the delusional, psychopathic Halfling.

It took several minutes for the Halfling to get bored with… what he was doing with the skull, but once he did, he took an immediate interest in Matt.

“You don’t look like max security material,” he told the boy smugly, “I guess without the Belkster out there to show ‘em how it’s done, the standards are dropping.”

Matt could manage nothing but a deer-in-the-headlights expression. At this point he was so scared he was barely even breathing.

To his wide-eyed horror, the Halfling began to approach him, picking up a severed head that was lying on the floor by its silvery hair on the way.

“Let’s get a few things straight,” the murderer said, “When they bring the grub in, your plate goes to Mr. Scruffy.” He began stroking the hair on the head affectionately. “Of course none of the stuff here’s good enough for his carnivore tastes, but he’s gotta eat eventually, and when he finally gets hungry enough, he is not going to starve on your account. Got it, wuss?”

Matt managed a nod. Living to see suppertime would be blessing enough. Glances around the room had let him count six different heads, and worryingly he’d only been able to spot four of the respective bodies…

“You really are a wuss, you know? You really shouldn’t be here…” As if too distracted by this revelation to hold his concentration on other things, the Halfling dropped the head known as “Mr. Scruffy.” He stared at Matt. For a long time.

“Aha!” Before Matt had time to realize anything was happening, the Halfling had him pinned to the ground and was yanking on a lock of his hair.

“Thought you could get a way with that?” the Halfling raved. The hand that wasn’t gripping Matt’s hair began fishing around in his grubby pockets for something. “Oh… I’ll do you for that, you androgynous twit…”

“Wh-what?!” Matt sputtered. Through the haze of pain the hair-pulling was spreading through his skull, he thought that the victimized hair might be that stupid attempt at a red streak, not that that was even remotely important right now…

“Come off it, Ears,” the lunatic snapped, yanking what appeared to be a sharpened spoon out of his pocket, “Your friggin’ lame disguise has failed epicly.” His eyes gleamed. “Then again, you always were one for epic failure, weren’t ya, pal?”

“What are you talking about?” Matt asked desperately. And, what did he mean by “Ears”? His voice now laced with disgust, he added, “You think I’m an elf?”

“I said come off it,” the Halfling repeated sharply. Then, to Matt’s surprise, he let go of his hair and his expression softened. “I guess I should’ve stopped bringing it up, after you told us everything that happened, but it was just too good; you finally admitted you screwed up.”

“Oh, I see,” Matt snarled, “An arrogant prick of an elf. Why you--”

“It was worth it, too,” the Halfling continued, now mostly ignoring Matt, “When you just kept blowing stuff up, especially when Roy was throwing hissy fits all the time because we wouldn’t knock it off. But then,” now his face flushed with rage, “You frickin’ set me up in this dump of a town with a frickin’ epic level prison!” He refocused his gaze on Matt. “And of course you had to come back and gloat,” he added, his voice cold.

“Dude,” said Matt, “I don’t even know what you’re talking about, and I’m not an elf! I hate elves!”

“Nice try, Ears,” said the Halfling, “But you really should have chosen a disguise that looked like it actually belonged in max security.” With a disturbing suddenness, the Halfling grinned. “Since you obviously can’t break out of this cell anymore than I can… Do you know what they do to pretty, purple-haired little elf-boys like you in prison, Vaarsuvius?”

“It’s Matt,” Matt spat, but his face was paling.

Brandishing the lethally sharp spoon, the madman said, “Because I’m about to show you.”

---

One of the adventuring parties did break out eventually, and the warden came to move Matt to another cell as he promised, in the nick of time, at that. Whenever Matt looked back on the whole incident (usually after waking up from a graphic nightmare) he shuddered to think what might have happened had he been left in there longer, but nonetheless wished that he could have been moved sooner.

In the weeks following his stay in prison Matt improved as a rogue very quickly. Before it’d been all about the loot but now he’d learned to focus on not getting caught. He decided he was never going to prison again and would do whatever it took to stay out of maximum security.

---

“Did you just have a flashback?” Lloyd asked Matt accusingly.

“Yeah,” said Matt, “Got a problem with that?”

“I’m the main character and I’ve already hinted at a dark and interesting backstory,” Lloyd said hotly, “I’m supposed to get the first flashback!”

Matt smirked. From here it could only get better.

Personally, I don't think Lloyd should complain; examining the first few lines and considering that this is the Crack Pairings Thread, that conversation could've gone in a completely different direction...

On an unrelated note, when I looked at the thread today I was a little sleepy and read the roman numeral V as the letter V, thinking, well, at least we're honest about what we're writing about.

So I'm relooking at all of the fanart for the thread. I find it creepy how 4/5 of them have Vaarsuvius as the focus. A+V, B+V, AB+V... Though a chart has been made about that, so It's not really my territory...

I want to try my hand at writing and if possible something easy without looking horrible (the dream!). Can someone roll up a sort-of plausible pairing for me?

But don't make it something with a lot of promise because I can guarantee you'd be disappointed.

I don't know how long it would take to actually roll something plausible, but, as far as just giving you a random but doable pairing goes... You could try Sabine with any other character you feel like, since, well, she would. Or how about TsukikoxXykon? I know it's not exactly crack, but, sadly, it's not canon either. One time I got a really vauge idea for a DurkonxMiko fic about the real reason he was the only one in the Order who wasn't resisting. I forgot about it, so you can try it if you want.

Asta Kask

2009-12-30, 11:24 AM

I want to try my hand at writing and if possible something easy without looking horrible (the dream!). Can someone roll up a sort-of plausible pairing for me?

Roy + Miko? Apparently Miko was first intended until as a romantic foil for Roy, but as Rich was writing her she evolved into the paladin we all know and... know.

CoffeeIncluded

2009-12-30, 11:31 AM

Wonderful chapter, Nathander! It feels like this is where the story's really starting to take off. Nice cliff-hanger too; is Soon an illusion? A ghost? A hallucination that shows that Miko's really coming unhinged? And what will he say to her? I hope to find out soon! :smallbiggrin:

Ooo, Shneeky, the teaser is definitely getting my attention. Can't wait to read the rest of it!

And now, the crossover you've all (well, probably mostly Coffee, actually) been waiting for: I bring you *drumroll* BelkarxMatt!

Starts immediately after the latest installment (9) of Murhpy's Law. (http://i909.photobucket.com/albums/ac294/caffeineincluded/DontWorryTheWeaselsAlright.png)

“Went down your--” Lloyd began to say.

“And that is all I’m going to say about it,” Matt cut him off flatly.

“Whatever,” said Lloyd, looking at Matt’s weasel-inflicted wounds critically, “You should probably go get Janine to heal you.”

“Can’t paladins heal?” Matt asked, not sure where Janine was and in no mood to search for her while every scratch on his body was still smarting.

“The technique’s called ‘Lay on Hands’,” Lloyd replied neutrally.

“Oh,” said Matt. A few seconds of silence passed. “This sucks,” he added in a grumble.

“More than max security?” Lloyd asked as a reminder.

“No,” said Matt darkly, staring broodingly into the middle distance.

---

It was two years ago, back when he was just learning how to get away with things and had recently tried to put a red streak in his hair. The hair was a minor fiasco—he’d bleached first and the red dye wasn’t strong enough, leaving the streak an embarrassingly pretty purplish pink; maybe he should try blue next time—but he was getting to be a really good rogue. Or so he thought.

In retrospect he realized that he probably shouldn’t have been so cocky—after all it was already the sixth time he’d been caught stealing and he’d only been at it a few months—but back in those days he’d felt like he could do anything, like he was untouchable. Sure, he’d gotten thrown in the local jailhouse once or twice, but those cells were a joke; he watched a party full of Level 2 adventures with not a rogue among them break out in ten minutes flat once. Of course, those were the lowest security cells, not max. He didn’t know yet that when they threw you in max, you weren’t getting yourself out any time soon unless you were epic level or something.

That day, the day he got caught for the sixth time, they threw him in max.

“I really am sorry, kid,” the warden had told him grimly, “But today we got three adventuring parties filled with chaotic types who thought they’d found the second easiest way to get some extra gps; the cells are packed, so you’re going to have to go in max.”

“Whatever,” Matt muttered.

A little annoyed by the boy’s indifference, the warden added, “Just so you know, your cell mate got life for massacring a relatively peaceful group of kobold merchants for the XP and…” He gulped. “Accessorizing opportunities.”

“Whatever,” Matt repeated. Wait a minute, what about accessorizing?

“He gets violent when we try to remove things from his cell,” he went on, now honestly angered by the boy’s lack of interest, “Such as the beheaded corpses of former cell mates…”

“What do you mean--” Matt began to ask, a little panicked, before regaining his cool. “You’re making that up just to scare me.”

“If only,” the warden said with a sigh, “I suggest you just try to have a conversation with him; some say the solitude’s made him snap. Ah, here we are.”

At first Matt thought his cellmate was a kobold. Then, gagging, he realized what the warden had meant by “accessorizing opportunities”.

“How’s it going, Killer?” the warden asked with false joviality.

Clutching a human skull pointed at the warden, the filthy Halfling shrieked, “Fireball! Fireball now, or I’ll give you something to Fear you worthless undead piece of crap!”

“This is your new roomie!” the warden continued, forcing himself to smile in the hope that the Halfling would calm down, “His name is Matthew Silver.”

Matt was too terrified to correct him.

While the Halfling did something partially hidden but, Matt feared, definitely obscene to the skull that wouldn’t obey his commands, the warden very quickly unlocked the cell, shoved Matt in, and relocked it.

“I really am sorry,” the warden told Matt again, “If one of those parties breaks out, I’ll get you out of here pronto, but…” He glanced at the Halfling. “It’d be a lie to tell you anything but this: From here it can only get worse.”

He left Matt alone with this thought. And the delusional, psychopathic Halfling.

It took several minutes for the Halfling to get bored with… what he was doing with the skull, but once he did, he took an immediate interest in Matt.

“You don’t look like max security material,” he told the boy smugly, “I guess without the Belkster out there to show ‘em how it’s done, the standards are dropping.”

Matt could manage nothing but a deer-in-the-headlights expression. At this point he was so scared he was barely even breathing.

To his wide-eyed horror, the Halfling began to approach him, picking up a severed head that was lying on the floor by its silvery hair on the way.

“Let’s get a few things straight,” the murderer said, “When they bring the grub in, your plate goes to Mr. Scruffy.” He began stroking the hair on the head affectionately. “Of course none of the stuff here’s good enough for his carnivore tastes, but he’s gotta eat eventually, and when he finally gets hungry enough, he is not going to starve on your account. Got it, wuss?”

Matt managed a nod. Living to see suppertime would be blessing enough. Glances around the room had let him count six different heads, and worryingly he’d only been able to spot four of the respective bodies…

“You really are a wuss, you know? You really shouldn’t be here…” As if too distracted by this revelation to hold his concentration on other things, the Halfling dropped the head known as “Mr. Scruffy.” He stared at Matt. For a long time.

“Aha!” Before Matt had time to realize anything was happening, the Halfling had him pinned to the ground and was yanking on a lock of his hair.

“Thought you could get a way with that?” the Halfling raved. The hand that wasn’t gripping Matt’s hair began fishing around in his grubby pockets for something. “Oh… I’ll do you for that, you androgynous twit…”

“Wh-what?!” Matt sputtered. Through the haze of pain the hair-pulling was spreading through his skull, he thought that the victimized hair might be that stupid attempt at a red streak, not that that was even remotely important right now…

“Come off it, Ears,” the lunatic snapped, yanking what appeared to be a sharpened spoon out of his pocket, “Your friggin’ lame disguise has failed epicly.” His eyes gleamed. “Then again, you always were one for epic failure, weren’t ya, pal?”

“What are you talking about?” Matt asked desperately. And, what did he mean by “Ears”? His voice now laced with disgust, he added, “You think I’m an elf?”

“I said come off it,” the Halfling repeated sharply. Then, to Matt’s surprise, he let go of his hair and his expression softened. “I guess I should’ve stopped bringing it up, after you told us everything that happened, but it was just too good; you finally admitted you screwed up.”

“Oh, I see,” Matt snarled, “An arrogant prick of an elf. Why you--”

“It was worth it, too,” the Halfling continued, now mostly ignoring Matt, “When you just kept blowing stuff up, especially when Roy was throwing hissy fits all the time because we wouldn’t knock it off. But then,” now his face flushed with rage, “You frickin’ set me up in this dump of a town with a frickin’ epic level prison!” He refocused his gaze on Matt. “And of course you had to come back and gloat,” he added, his voice cold.

“Dude,” said Matt, “I don’t even know what you’re talking about, and I’m not an elf! I hate elves!”

“Nice try, Ears,” said the Halfling, “But you really should have chosen a disguise that looked like it actually belonged in max security.” With a disturbing suddenness, the Halfling grinned. “Since you obviously can’t break out of this cell anymore than I can… Do you know what they do to pretty, purple-haired little elf-boys like you in prison, Vaarsuvius?”

“It’s Matt,” Matt spat, but his face was paling.

Brandishing the lethally sharp spoon, the madman said, “Because I’m about to show you.”

---

One of the adventuring parties did break out eventually, and the warden came to move Matt to another cell as he promised, in the nick of time, at that. Whenever Matt looked back on the whole incident (usually after waking up from a graphic nightmare) he shuddered to think what might have happened had he been left in there longer, but nonetheless wished that he could have been moved sooner.

In the weeks following his stay in prison Matt improved as a rogue very quickly. Before it’d been all about the loot but now he’d learned to focus on not getting caught. He decided he was never going to prison again and would do whatever it took to stay out of maximum security.

---

“Did you just have a flashback?” Lloyd asked Matt accusingly.

“Yeah,” said Matt, “Got a problem with that?”

“I’m the main character and I’ve already hinted at a dark and interesting backstory,” Lloyd said hotly, “I’m supposed to get the first flashback!”

Matt smirked. From here it could only get better.

Personally, I don't think Lloyd should complain; examining the first few lines and considering that this is the Crack Pairings Thread, that conversation could've gone in a completely different direction...

...
.........
.................

I love you and you partially ninjaed the canon. The first part of the story did anyway.

Please post it on the actual comic thread.

ShinyDelusion

2009-12-30, 11:34 AM

...
.........
.................

I love you and you partially ninjaed the canon. The first part of the story did anyway.

Please post it on the actual comic thread.

Yay! :smallbiggrin:

So... May I ask what I partially ninja'd? :smallcool:

And now it's over there too.

CoffeeIncluded

2009-12-30, 11:45 AM

Yay! :smallbiggrin:

So... May I ask what I partially ninja'd? :smallcool:

And now it's over there too.

The very first bit. With Matt and Lloyd.

ShinyDelusion

2009-12-30, 11:46 AM

The very first bit. With Matt and Lloyd.

The "Lay on Hands" awkwardness, I presume?

CoffeeIncluded

2009-12-30, 11:50 AM

The "Lay on Hands" awkwardness, I presume?

Yep! :smallbiggrin:

Zanaril

2009-12-30, 12:04 PM

And now, the crossover you've all (well, probably mostly Coffee, actually) been waiting for: I bring you *drumroll* BelkarxMatt!

Starts immediately after the latest installment (9) of Murhpy's Law. (http://i909.photobucket.com/albums/ac294/caffeineincluded/DontWorryTheWeaselsAlright.png)

That was amusing... but also makes me hope nobody ever gets stuck in the same cell as Belkar. Especially Vaarsuvius.

*shudders*

Although knowing crack ficcers, it's inevitable that somebody's eventually going to write a darkfic where exactly that happens.

ShinyDelusion

2009-12-30, 12:12 PM

That was amusing... but also makes me hope nobody ever gets stuck in the same cell as Belkar. Especially Vaarsuvius.

*shudders*

Although knowing crack ficcers, it's inevitable that somebody's eventually going to write a darkfic where exactly that happens.

Glad you liked it! And I felt much the same way: I added that the warden made it "in the nick of time" because without that, my brain was just going "No, God, no..." every time I tried to reread the thing.

CoffeeIncluded

2009-12-30, 12:16 PM

Glad you liked it! And I felt much the same way: I added that the warden made it "in the nick of time" because without that, my brain was just going "No, God, no..." every time I tried to reread the thing.

Good thing too. :smalltongue:

Dark_Stryke

2009-12-30, 12:48 PM

So I'm relooking at all of the fanart for the thread. I find it creepy how 4/5 of them have Vaarsuvius as the focus. A+V, B+V, AB+V... Though a chart has been made about that, so It's not really my territory...

I want to try my hand at writing and if possible something easy without looking horrible (the dream!). Can someone roll up a sort-of plausible pairing for me?

But don't make it something with a lot of promise because I can guarantee you'd be disappointed.

If you're looking for something tame, just look at pairings that have been hinted in the canon (or could plausibly have been hinted if you squinted the right way).

Therkla/Kubota

Belkar/What's-her-face-the-Bard-in-Cliffport

Anyone Described as Attractive/Sam (The Bandit Chief's Daughter)

There, those are some easy ones.

Dark Faun

2009-12-30, 01:30 PM

You can also try Sangwaan x Hinjo.

WaXPs
According to Shojo, Sangwaan "looks" at Hinjo a certain way.

Of course, Shojo probably noticed this while trying to look down her shirt. :smallwink:

CoffeeIncluded

2009-12-30, 01:33 PM

You can also try Sangwaan x Hinjo.

WaXPs
According to Shojo, Sangwaan "looks" at Hinjo a certain way.

Of course, Shojo probably noticed this while trying to look down her shirt. :smallwink:

...You do realize that the vast majority of medieval rulers had concubines, correct? :smallamused:

Zanaril

2009-12-30, 01:36 PM

Sangwaan x Hinjo just promises hilarious awkwardness.

And Saangwan "accidentally" putting her hands in places. :smallwink:

CoffeeIncluded

2009-12-30, 01:46 PM

Sangwaan x Hinjo just promises hilarious awkwardness.

And Saangwan "accidentally" putting her hands in places. :smallwink:

So...What excuses would Hinjo have to make for going along with it? :smallwink:

Anyone up for storywriting?

Zanaril

2009-12-30, 01:47 PM

So...What excuses would Hinjo have to make for going along with it? :smallwink:

Anyone up for storywriting?

She can't see, so obviously he has to hold her arm to guide her.

And catch her when she trips over something.

Dark Faun

2009-12-30, 01:52 PM

Something like Mr. Scruffy maybe? I'm sure he ships Hinjo x Sangwaan... :smallwink:

...You do realize that the vast majority of medieval rulers had concubines, correct? :smallamused:
Not Shojo or Hinjo.
Shojo complains he was too stuck in laws and politics to get an heir while Hinjo focuses on being a paladin before banging Miko* having children.

*No, he doesn't really want to bone Miko. No one does.

Zanaril

2009-12-30, 01:54 PM

CoffeeIncluded

2009-12-30, 01:54 PM

Something like Mr. Scruffy maybe? I'm sure he ships Hinjo x Sangwaan... :smallwink:

Not Shojo or Hinjo.
Shojo complains he was too stuck in laws and politics to get an heir while Hinjo focuses on being a paladin before banging Miko* having children.

*No, he doesn't really want to bone Miko. No one does.

And that's what protection spells are for. :smallwink:

She can't see, so obviously he has to hold her arm to guide her.

And catch her when she trips over something.

And make sure she didn't put on the blanket the wrong way.

(Seriously, I hate it when that happens, especially in winter. My toes get cold...)

Dark Faun

2009-12-30, 01:57 PM

And make sure to warm her up if she puts on the blanket the wrong way.
Fixed. :smallwink:

Zanaril

2009-12-30, 01:58 PM

And make sure she didn't put on the blanket the wrong way.

(Seriously, I hate it when that happens, especially in winter. My toes get cold...)

I don't think they'll have any problem keeping warm.

Unless they end up getting snowed in somewhere.

CoffeeIncluded

2009-12-30, 01:59 PM

I don't think they'll have any problem keeping warm.

Unless they end up getting snowed in somewhere.

HINJO/SANGWAAN SNOWED IN

And too true, Discord. It can get cold in the long winter nights...:smallwink:

Dark Faun

2009-12-30, 02:03 PM

Especially when V welcomes Elan with a Cone of Cold for walking on in V and Haley and Blackwing... :smallwink:

Oh, and Zanaril, to answer an earlier question of yours; Inkyrius isn't on the relationships chart in Don't Split the Party. To keep the surprise, I guess.

CoffeeIncluded

2009-12-30, 02:06 PM

Thor Person Guy

2009-12-30, 02:25 PM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_69urn7asVA&feature=related

Just for this, I'm offering a sale on my special Extra-Strength Brain Bleach. Now only $9.99 :smallcool:

ShneekeyTheLost

2009-12-30, 03:35 PM

Hey, everyone: Here's some nice inspiration for crack pairings.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_69urn7asVA&feature=related

Starts at around 2:32. Enjoy and don't forget the brain bleach. :smallbiggrin:

You are an evil, evil woman...

Not just because of the image, but because it is a temptation to go on a Wiki-Walk, and watch all 85 episodes of the LP:La-Mulana...

CoffeeIncluded

2009-12-30, 03:37 PM

You are an evil, evil woman...

Not just because of the image, but because it is a temptation to go on a Wiki-Walk, and watch all 85 episodes of the LP:La-Mulana...

Consider it a release of pent-up frustration. :smallcool:

Sereg

2009-12-30, 03:51 PM

Incidently. I must ask Lira to please link my TsukikoxHorace Greenhilt story from the previous thread. She appears to have missed it...unless it was so bad that she felt it unworthy to be linked?

Kobold-Bard

2009-12-30, 03:53 PM

Is it normal to feel guilty for liking the art in the third post, because I realy did. Especially the two imaginary sides of :vaarsuvius:

Sereg

2009-12-30, 04:17 PM

Is it normal to feel guilty for liking the art in the third post, because I realy did. Especially the two imaginary sides of :vaarsuvius:

That's my favourite too! If you liked that you might also like Zanaril's Vaarsuvius/Haley/Vaarsuvius twincest story. It's Hawt! (yet also disturbing)

Thor Person Guy

2009-12-30, 04:18 PM

That's my favourite too! If you liked that you might also like Zanaril's Vaarsuvius/Haley/Vaarsuvius twincest story. It's Hawt! (yet also disturbing)

Which is why we read it. :smalltongue:

Zanaril

2009-12-30, 04:31 PM

That's my favourite too! If you liked that you might also like Zanaril's Vaarsuvius/Haley/Vaarsuvius twincest story. It's Hawt! (yet also disturbing)

I don't get what's so disturbing about it.

Is it just the twincest?

Dark Faun

2009-12-30, 04:32 PM

I didn't find it disturbing at all. It may be because I love the the idea of V x Haley x V though... :smallwink:

CoffeeIncluded

2009-12-30, 04:34 PM

I don't get what's so disturbing about it.

Is it just the twincest?

Most likely yes.

I always found twincest extremely disturbing.

Ggh, avatar's down again... :smallannoyed:

Taekwondodo

2009-12-30, 04:42 PM

New thread! I was going to complain about not being able to think of something to write but then I read Mr ScruffyxGS Lord Shojo/Kidnapped and an idea came from nowhere! Expect it sometime in the near future. Nice Matt x Belkar. Was anyone actually going to write DurkonxJulia?

Sereg

2009-12-30, 04:52 PM

I don't get what's so disturbing about it.

Is it just the twincest?

To be honest what I found most disturbing was not finding the twincest as disturbing as I thought I should. I don't even know whether that is good or bad and whether that says more about the story or me (and this to is disturbing).

Anyway, my next promised story. I call it “The Worst Thing that Could Happen”.

“…and we should therefore be ready to leave tomorrow morning.” Redcloak finished.
“It’s alright Reddy,” said Xykon, “we’re the only ones here, we can stop this pretence and get down to having some fun.”
“I thought you’d never ask.” smiled Redcloak.
“Now, that that ridiculous theurge is out of the way no one will interrupt us.” Said Xykon as he began to caress Redcloak’s cheek. “Yes, I have you all to myself.” said Redcloak with glee as he began to undress. “You know I told her that the reason that I didn’t want her was because I wasn’t a biophilliac.” laughed Xykon, “Little did she know that my tastes swing another way.”
“Well, why would you want her when you have me?” asked Redcloak as he stroked Xykon’s sternum, “After all, she’s so pathetic that we don’t even tell her plot critical points.”
“Well, let’s stop thinking about her and start thinking about how wonderful it is to be together.” Said Xykon before giving Redcloak a passionate kiss.

“Nooooooo!” screamed Tsukiko as she rolled over and opened her eyes. She looked around. She was in bed. It was just a nightmare. She reached out for her Xykon doll and cuddled it to her chest before saying, “Whatever happens, don’t you leave me.”

Now should I write a sequel where Tsukiko practises some lucid dreaming to join in the fun?

half-halfling

2009-12-30, 05:06 PM

DING!
I went up a level! I'm Halfling in the playground now :smallsmile:

*No, he doesn't really want to bone Miko. No one does.

But someone wanted, before he get to know her better. Here's my new picture : Roy x Miko (alternate title: "In search of treasure (yes, type O treasure)"

http://i750.photobucket.com/albums/xx144/half-halfling/mxr2c.png

I hope it's not too NSFW. Picture was inspired by two recently posted great stories about Miko -I wanted to draw something with her too. This Roy's dream was extrimly hard to draw. His head is so big that in any realistic position it covers Miko completely. That's why they're not looking at each other. Also I had to cover everything that should be hidden :smallwink: -I don't like black squares in the middle of the picture ,so I used Roy's hand for this. That's why their position may be a bit unnatural, but I think picture is not bad.

edit: replaced with censored version

Zanaril

2009-12-30, 05:08 PM

Anyway, my next promised story. I call it “The Worst Thing that Could Happen”.

...Aww.

Maybe it's just because she's fun to draw in skimpy outfits, but I've found myself liking Tsukiko recently. :smalltongue:

Now should I write a sequel where Tsukiko practises some lucid dreaming to join in the fun?
Of course!

But someone wanted, before he get to know her better. Here's my new picture : Roy x Miko (alternate title: "In search of treasure (yes, type O treasure)"

I hope it's not too NSFW.

*peers closely* Is that a nipple?

I congratulate you on your attention to detail.

Your creepy, creepy attention to detail.

Dark Faun

2009-12-30, 05:08 PM

I just know many people will love this picture. :smallwink:

Anyway, my next promised story. I call it “The Worst Thing that Could Happen”.
Reading this after reading Start of Darkness was infinitely amusing. :smallamused:

Is this after or before evil V teleported to her to have fun with her? :smalltongue:

Maybe it's just because she's fun to draw in skimpy outfits, but I've found myself liking Tsukiko recently. :smalltongue:
Maybe it's just because she's fun to draw knocked up with V's child, but so have I. :smallwink:

Raging Gene Ray

2009-12-30, 05:12 PM

I hope it's not too NSFW. Picture was inspired by two recently posted great stories about Miko -I wanted to draw something with her too.

I'm impressed with how well you did an overhead view in Roy's dream. Of course, I'd like it better if Miko was shipped with someone else...(but congratulations on keeping it canon - it's nice to see something that could have realistically happened in comic). Do you mind if I repost it in the House of Fanservice?

CoffeeIncluded

2009-12-30, 05:13 PM

Now should I write a sequel where Tsukiko practises some lucid dreaming to join in the fun?

Yes. Yes you should.

Half-halfling, nice pic, but you might be toeing the line a bit there. Besides pixellation is funnier.

Zanaril

2009-12-30, 05:13 PM

Is this after or before evil V teleported to her to have fun with her? :smalltongue:

Before, obviously.

If it was after, it would be V instead of Reddy, and it wouldn't be a nightmare.

Dark Faun

2009-12-30, 05:15 PM

Haha, true.

I'm impressed with how well you did an overhead view in Roy's dream. Do you mind if I repost it in the House of Fanservice?
It's OotS style. It'll get snobbed.

Half-halfling, nice pic, but you might be toeing the line a bit there. Besides pixellation is funnier.
I like it the way it is. :smallwink:

Raging Gene Ray

2009-12-30, 05:20 PM

It's OotS style. It'll get snobbed.

Just because nobody comments on it, doesn't mean it's being snobbed. My obsession with Sangwaan blossomed from constantly seeing Alysar's sig, and I never commented on that. I'm sure half-halfling's picture will be appreciated by plenty of silent forumutes - just like your pictures.

*peers closely* Is that a nipple?

No, it's an areola.

CoffeeIncluded

2009-12-30, 05:20 PM

I like it the way it is. :smallwink:

I'm just thinking "Roland may not like this" and praying that he's not going to look too closely...

ShneekeyTheLost

2009-12-30, 05:37 PM

Is this after or before evil V teleported to her to have fun with her? :smalltongue:

Before. Afterwords... well, let's just say that Control Undead would not be beyond the talents of Darth V... or heck, maybe even Tsukiko, if Darth V hit up Xykon with enough resist penalties...

Sereg

2009-12-30, 05:39 PM

Yay! People are paying attention to my work and awwing and requesting sequels!

Unfortunately my activity will probably slow down a bit now as I am flying back home from holiday tomorrow later this morning (Hey I don't have New Year's Eve plans) to carry on working on my dissertation.

I don't understand the point about SoD as I don't own the books yet (I tried convincing my father to order them and pay for shipping for a combined birthday and Christmas present whilst I pay for the books themselves but have been unsuccesful, must keep trying).

I must admit that I understand Coffee's concern over the picture, as well done as it is. We don't want to get locked.

EDIT:@^ Just wait for my sequel.

half-halfling

2009-12-30, 05:57 PM

Do You think I should censor it? I better won't post it in fanservice thread ,since there are doubts if it fits forum rules. Maybe I should PM mods about it?

CoffeeIncluded

2009-12-30, 06:05 PM

Do You think I should censor it? I better won't post it in fanservice thread ,since there are doubts if it fits forum rules. Maybe I should PM mods about it?

My perspective on this?

Shift their positions slightly, remove her nipple, and you're good.

Some strategic placement of Miko's hair would be good here. In fact, that's probably your best option.

The Dark Fiddler

2009-12-30, 06:44 PM

Or having Roy's massive head laying on Miko's stomach. That'd work. :smalltongue:

CoffeeIncluded

2009-12-30, 06:47 PM

Half-Halfling, that's better.

half-halfling

2009-12-30, 06:56 PM

I just consulted Roland, and he thinks the same. I like this version more too.

CoffeeIncluded

2009-12-30, 07:11 PM

I just consulted Roland, and he thinks the same. I like this version more too.

Oh good. I like it more too. :smallsmile:

And Raging Gene Ray is right. I'm quite sure that the House of Fanservice would...Uh...Enjoy that picture.

ClericOfBelker

2009-12-30, 07:17 PM

I just found a old Advanced Dungeons&Dragons book, it's called The Tome of Magic and most of Vaarsuvius's spells are in there!:smallbiggrin:

PS:This thread gives whole new meanings to the phrase "Forced Labor"!

Zanaril

2009-12-30, 07:35 PM

I've finished the V/Tsukiko picture. :smallbiggrin:

I think it's okay to post here...
http://i260.photobucket.com/albums/ii21/Zanaril/OOTSart/vxt.png

I'll post a coloured version when it's done.

In the meantime, anyone got any suggestions for what I should draw next? :smallamused:

CoffeeIncluded

2009-12-30, 07:37 PM

Lawyergoblin

2009-12-30, 07:38 PM

:smalleek:

Zanaril

2009-12-30, 07:40 PM

Whatever it is, can we have something for the girls on the thread? :smalltongue:

Aww, V isn't enough? :smalltongue:

:smalleek:

Is that good :smalleek: or bad :smalleek:?

CoffeeIncluded

2009-12-30, 07:42 PM

Aww, V isn't enough? :smalltongue:

I want someone with a clearly-established gender identity. :smalltongue:

Zanaril

2009-12-30, 07:43 PM

I want someone with a clearly-established gender identity. :smalltongue:

But the only male characters I like are elves. :smallfrown:

Wait, Zz'dtri's definitely male, right?

CoffeeIncluded

2009-12-30, 07:47 PM

But the only male characters I like are elves. :smallfrown:

Wait, Zz'dtri's definitely male, right?

Look, I--Never mind.

Silencer

2009-12-30, 07:51 PM

Blackwing/Vaarsuvius, Vaarsuvius/Soul-spliced Kyrie and Tsukiko/Dead Roy are the among the most entertaining. Celia/Haley is hawt. The others... I veritably do not obtain.

half-halfling

2009-12-30, 07:51 PM

Wow, that's great. V looks really evil -Tsukiko should really be afraid. In final version You can give V fangs (if You haven't missed it intentionally).

Zanaril

2009-12-30, 07:54 PM

Wow, that's great. V looks really evil -Tsukiko should really be afraid. In final version You can give V fangs (if You haven't missed it intentionally).

I tried that, but it gave V vampire vibes. :smallconfused: Far too strong vampire vibes.

Maybe it'll be better when it's coloured.

CoffeeIncluded

2009-12-30, 08:15 PM

I tried that, but it gave V vampire vibes. :smallconfused: Far too strong vampire vibes.

Maybe it'll be better when it's coloured.

Hopefully?

And will Durkon/Julia be done? I'm having a video chat with a friend soon.

Aaron

2009-12-30, 08:23 PM

Oh good. I like it more too. :smallsmile:

And Raging Gene Ray is right. I'm quite sure that the House of Fanservice would...Uh...Enjoy that picture.

I like picture too, now that its edited. :smallwink:

Whatever it is, can we have something for the girls on the thread? :smalltongue:

Sorry, I'm a guy. I can't help you there. :smalltongue:

I want someone with a clearly-established gender identity. :smalltongue:

...we use V way too much in this thread. :smallsigh:

Kyronea

2009-12-30, 08:27 PM

Look, I--Never mind.

You're bothered by potential lesbianism? :smallconfused:

CoffeeIncluded

2009-12-30, 08:32 PM

You're bothered by potential lesbianism? :smallconfused:

No, not at all. I realized that anything I said would have been extremely likely to be misinterpreted.

The Dark Fiddler

2009-12-30, 08:36 PM

In the meantime, anyone got any suggestions for what I should draw next? :smallamused:

ElanxNale? Or is that too cracky for you?

...shup, guys can like yaoi.

CoffeeIncluded

2009-12-30, 08:37 PM

ElanxNale? Or is that too cracky for you?

...shup, guys can like yaoi.

Yes, but twincest yaoi?! :smalleek:

Kyronea

2009-12-30, 08:39 PM

No, not at all. I realized that anything I said would have been extremely likely to be misinterpreted.

Ah, fair enough then.

Yes, but twincest yaoi?! :smalleek:

WHERE?! I would LOVE to see some of this.

CoffeeIncluded

2009-12-30, 08:44 PM

WHERE?! I would LOVE to see some of this.

See, twincest is one of those things that I will absolutely refuse to do. I find it way too creepy and disturbing.

Fun Fact: CoffeeIncluded has two friends who are fraternal twins. (Opposite genders). They're both good friends of hers. The girl has been in a stable romantic relationship for a year and a half (That is the definition of "Lovey-dovey" and "Thank you for giving me diabetes"). The guy would fit in perfectly here and I honestly wouldn't be surprised if he reads this comic. I have a crush on him but hasn't been able to tell him yet.

ShinyDelusion

2009-12-30, 08:44 PM

Whatever it is, can we have something for the girls on the thread? :smalltongue:

Speak for yourself; I loved that picture. Yes, that kind of love. ;-D

Also very much enjoyed the Roy x Miko pic and the Nightmare Xykon x Reddy fic.

Kyronea

2009-12-30, 08:55 PM

See, twincest is one of those things that I will absolutely refuse to do. I find it way too creepy and disturbing.

Fun Fact: CoffeeIncluded has two friends who are fraternal twins. (Opposite genders). They're both good friends of hers. The girl has been in a stable romantic relationship (That is the definition of "Lovey-dovey" and "Thank you for giving me diabetes"). The guy would fit in perfectly here and I honestly wouldn't be surprised if he reads this comic. I have a crush on him but hasn't been able to tell him yet.

Ah, I see why it would disturb you, then.

I don't find it disturbing though. I really like the idea. What would be neat is if we could get twincest Vs only with both of them male...

Dark_Stryke

2009-12-30, 10:10 PM

The guy would fit in perfectly here and I honestly wouldn't be surprised if he reads this comic. I have a crush on him but hasn't been able to tell him yet.

Maybe you shouldn't show him this thread. That'd be one of the weirder ways to find out that someone you know has a crush on you. I don't know whether you have any such plans or anything. Just sayin'.

CoffeeIncluded

2009-12-30, 10:19 PM

Maybe you shouldn't show him this thread. That'd be one of the weirder ways to find out that someone you know has a crush on you. I don't know whether you have any such plans or anything. Just sayin'.

The problem is that I haven't had a chance to get him alone; I'm not telling him in the middle of the school hallway in front of dozens of people!

ShinyDelusion

2009-12-30, 10:24 PM

The problem is that I haven't had a chance to get him alone; I'm not telling him in the middle of the school hallway in front of dozens of people!

I know what you mean. I was semi-flirting with a guy in my programming class on the last day of this semester and this random other guy in my programming class rolls in between us (oh, the joy of computer rolly chairs...) and says, "I think I see a blush..."

:smallredface: :smallfrown: :smallannoyed: :smallfurious:

Way to take what had potential to be a nice moment and inject it full of pure, saturated AWKWARD.

CoffeeIncluded

2009-12-30, 10:30 PM

I know what you mean. I was semi-flirting with a guy in my programming class on the last day of this semester and this random other guy in my programming class rolls in between us (oh, the joy of computer rolly chairs...) and says, "I think I see a blush..."

:smallredface: :smallfrown: :smallannoyed: :smallfurious:

Way to take what had potential to be a nice moment and inject it full of pure, saturated AWKWARD.

I know.

And what's worse is that I DID have a chance to tell him during a halloween party, but then the party got canceled...

And then compounding the awkwardness, his twin sister is one of my friends.

I'll stop now before I derail the thread.

ShinyDelusion

2009-12-30, 10:34 PM

I know.

And what's worse is that I DID have a chance to tell him during a halloween party, but then the party got canceled...

And then compounding the awkwardness, his twin sister is one of my friends.

I'll stop now before I derail the thread.

Oh yeah, on-topicness... Right... Uh... So Roy x Random Guy in My Programming Class! I can totally see it! :smallbiggrin:

CoffeeIncluded

2009-12-30, 10:38 PM

Oh yeah, on-topicness... Right... Uh... So Roy x Random Guy in My Programming Class! I can totally see it! :smallbiggrin:

Did you see the crack-pairing-inspiring La-Mulana video I showed you?

ShinyDelusion

2009-12-30, 10:42 PM

Did you see the crack-pairing-inspiring La-Mulana video I showed you?

Unfortunately, yes.

CoffeeIncluded

2009-12-30, 10:44 PM

Unfortunately, yes.

And what do you think? :smalltongue:

ShinyDelusion

2009-12-30, 10:46 PM

And what do you think? :smalltongue:

:eek:

Apparently, this message is too short.

CapedLuigiYoshi

2009-12-30, 10:50 PM

It's amazing how you guys are still going. I remember when this was just a little table that had less than a third of the named characters in the strip. Now you have an entire fanon spread over 4.1 threads!:smallbiggrin:

Now, since you probably don't remember, last time I posted in one of these threads (sometime between late 3rd and mid-4th) I Shadow Cly rolled up Lien/Lien and promised to write it up. So why has the story not appeared yet? I'd say it's due to my old friend Procrastination.

I have no idea how to do this outside of "Shadow Cly is fooling around and brings together two Liens from different universes", so literally no progress has been made. In the meantime, though, enjoy this picture I put together in about 10 minutes:

http://img69.imageshack.us/img69/5710/ootsfunnie8.png

Edit: And no, neither of them are up for being shipped. I can see Shadow Cly volunteering to help out with shipping (namely, being the one to change people's genders), but both don't have much romantic interest for themselves.

CoffeeIncluded

2009-12-30, 10:50 PM

:eek:

Hey, I thought it was hilarious. And a great plot device too, no? Maybe Julia/Dukon?

Oh yeah. Julia/Durkon. Julia tells Durkon he won't be so afraid of the water if he tries swimming, but the only suit she has that fits him is an itsy-bitsy bikini, and she realizes just how sexy he looks with that hairy dwarf beard and the tiny bikini that is obviously too small for him, and of course, she's into short guys, and she's wearing something that leaves absolutely NOTHING to the imagination, and he finds that sexy, and Thor's saying "Go for it!", and they're in a pool, alone...:amused:

The toilet's over there, feel free to throw up now.

ShinyDelusion

2009-12-30, 10:57 PM

Hey, I thought it was hilarious. And a great plot device too, no? Maybe Julia/Dukon?

Oh yeah. Julia/Durkon. Julia tells Durkon he won't be so afraid of the water if he tries swimming, but the only suit she has that fits him is an itsy-bitsy bikini, and she realizes just how sexy he looks with that hairy dwarf beard and the tiny bikini that is obviously too small for him...:amused:

The toilet's over there, feel free to throw up now.

*wonders if this mental image will give me nightmares*

Hi, CapedLuigiYoshi! Why not bring a likely OC in and make the fic about Lien and her evil nymphomaniac twin Neil?

CoffeeIncluded

2009-12-30, 10:58 PM

*wonders if this mental image will give me nightmares*

Hi, CapedLuigiYoshi! Why not bring a likely OC in and make the fic about Lien and her evil nymphomaniac twin Neil?

Oh, I made it better. Look how I updated it. :smallamused:

Also, I have 0 ranks in smutfic.

ShinyDelusion

2009-12-30, 11:01 PM

Oh, I made it better. Look how I updated it. :smallamused:

Well, WWTD?, after all...

Also, I have 0 ranks in smutfic.

You lie.

Now that I've noticed the convenient name scheme, I wonder if Lien really does have an evil twin named Neil...

CapedLuigiYoshi

2009-12-30, 11:03 PM

*wonders if this mental image will give me nightmares*

Hi, CapedLuigiYoshi! Why not bring a likely OC in and make the fic about Lien and her evil nymphomaniac twin Neil?

No, no Neil... Hey, wait a minute, wouldn't that be pronounced the same as Nale?

I gotta be honest, I have no clue what nymphomaniac means.

Anyways, no, it's not Lien/Neil. It's Lien/Lien. Two Liens, very much the same.

CoffeeIncluded

2009-12-30, 11:07 PM

I gotta be honest, I have no clue what nymphomaniac means.

It means sex-crazed, generally, a sex-crazed female.

You lie.

Just because it's a class feature of the Fanfic Writer Prestige Class doesn't mean I've taken ranks in it. I just happened to roll well. :smalltongue:

ShinyDelusion

2009-12-30, 11:07 PM

No, no Neil... Hey, wait a minute, wouldn't that be pronounced the same as Nale?

I gotta be honest, I have no clue what nymphomaniac means.

Anyways, no, it's not Lien/Neil. It's Lien/Lien. Two Liens, very much the same.

I pronounce Neil "kneel" and Nale "nail".

Sex-crazed. Always a nice quality in an evil twin in a crack fic.

Have it your way, then.

I'm still a little incredulous, Coffee.

CoffeeIncluded

2009-12-30, 11:11 PM

I'm still a little incredulous, Coffee.

Why are you incredulous? :smallconfused:

CapedLuigiYoshi

2009-12-30, 11:12 PM

I pronounce Neil "kneel" and Nale "nail".

Sex-crazed. Always a nice quality in an evil twin in a crack fic.

Have it your way, then.

Considering how romanized Japanese tends to be pronounced...

How would I write a character like that when I'm the EXACT OPPOSITE?

Wait, you're letting the issue go? No asking how there can be two Liens? (Dang it, I'm not getting the setup I'm fishing for!)

ShinyDelusion

2009-12-30, 11:18 PM

Why are you incredulous? :smallconfused:

I dunno. I guess you just seem like the type that's tried smut once or twice. *shrug*

Considering how romanized Japanese tends to be pronounced...

How would I write a character like that when I'm the EXACT OPPOSITE?

Wait, you're letting the issue go? No asking how there can be two Liens? (Dang it, I'm not getting the setup I'm fishing for!)

I don't know about Nale or Lien, but Neil's a name with a European origin (I think). Don't ask me why the same, probably Azurite, parents would pick such a pair of names...

Easy! Think to yourself, "What is the exact opposite of what I would do in this situation?" :smalltongue:

Oh, I'm sorry, how rude of me. *clears throat* Wherever is the second Lien going to come from?

CoffeeIncluded

2009-12-30, 11:19 PM

I dunno. I guess you just seem like the type that's tried smut once or twice. *shrug*

*Tilts head curiously* Why do you say that?

How would I write a character like that when I'm the EXACT OPPOSITE!

Simple. In any situation in the story, just think: SEX!

ShinyDelusion

2009-12-30, 11:23 PM

*Tilts head curiously* Why do you say that?

*another shrug* Maybe I think that everyone, like me, has tried to write it at least once. :smallwink:

DING! Looks like I'm a halfling now. :smallfrown: But I like pixies...

CoffeeIncluded

2009-12-30, 11:25 PM

*another shrug* Maybe I think that everyone, like me, has tried to write it at least once. :smallwink:

Huh. Well, I put most of my ranks into Write Story (Comedic).

Surprisingly enough, this is really about as perverted as I get. At least outside the deep recesses of my id.

Then again, most of it's suppressed.

CapedLuigiYoshi

2009-12-30, 11:26 PM

I dunno. I guess you just seem like the type that's tried smut once or twice. *shrug*

I don't know about Nale or Lien, but Neil's a name with a European origin (I think). Don't ask me why the same, probably Azurite, parents would pick such a pair of names...

Easy! Think to yourself, "What is the exact opposite of what I would do in this situation?" :smalltongue:

Oh, I'm sorry, how rude of me. *clears throat* Wherever is the second Lien going to come from?

But it's Azure City, which is a Japanese/Chinese culture mishmash.

Well, my opposite would be the type to loathe yuri, so...

And as for that second Lien...
http://img9.imageshack.us/img9/194/ootsfunnie9.png

CoffeeIncluded

2009-12-30, 11:27 PM

But it's Azure City, which is a Japanese/Chinese culture mishmash.

Well, my opposite would be the type to loathe yuri, so...

And as for that second Lien...
http://img9.imageshack.us/img9/194/ootsfunnie9.png

The Round Robin! :smallbiggrin:

ShinyDelusion

2009-12-30, 11:30 PM

Huh. Well, I put most of my ranks into Write Story (Comedic).

Surprisingly enough, this is really about as perverted as I get. At least outside the deep recesses of my id.

Then again, most of it's suppressed.

Shame, shame. They say supression isn't healthy! :smallwink:

I usually don't go far beyond implication either. My one and only attempt at smut that is locked away on another computer was Terrible. (Yes, with a capital T.)

I vote IFCC conspiracy!

CoffeeIncluded

2009-12-30, 11:35 PM

Shame, shame. They say supression isn't healthy! :smallwink:

I usually don't go far beyond implication either. My one and only attempt at smut that is locked away on another computer was Terrible. (Yes, with a capital T.)

I vote IFCC conspiracy!

Well, considering that I'm a sexually repressed nerd who has never been so much as kissed, who has walked in on an obscene number of makeout sessions (17 in forty minutes), and the one time I almost kissed someone, I literally got pushed to the side and spend the rest of the dance sitting by the wall, by myself, watching everyone else slowdance, trying not to cry...

ShinyDelusion

2009-12-30, 11:47 PM

Well, considering that I'm a sexually repressed nerd who has never been so much as kissed, who has walked in on an obscene number of makeout sessions (17 in forty minutes), and the one time I almost kissed someone, I literally got pushed to the side and spend the rest of the dance sitting by the wall, by myself, watching everyone else slowdance, trying not to cry...

Aww, Coffee (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TheWoobie)... Wait a minute, 17 in forty minutes? Where in the name of the IFCC were you?

:sabine: Sounds like my kind of party.

:mitd: Party? Will there be cake?

Possible fic potential there...

Anyway, that's technically beside the point; I'm barely more experienced than you are and was probably less experienced at the time I wrote aforementioned Old Shame (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/OldShame). I guess maybe that was part of the reason why it was Terrible...

CoffeeIncluded

2009-12-30, 11:50 PM

Aww, Coffee (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TheWoobie)... Wait a minute, 17 in forty minutes? Where in the name of the IFCC were you?

:sabine: Sounds like my kind of party.

:mitd: Party? Will there be cake?

Possible fic potential there...

Anyway, that's technically beside the point; I'm barely more experienced than you are and was probably less experienced at the time I wrote aforementioned Old Shame (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/OldShame). I guess maybe that was part of the reason why it was Terrible...

Nerd camp. When you've got several hundred sexually repressed nerds in one place...

And the girl who pushed me away was (And still is) one of my best friends. She didn't mean to do it, and I was literally unable to protest because I had laryngitis at the time. But still, last dance EVER there, and I was sitting by myself, watching everyone else slow dance and make out, and there I was alone.

That's why I'm going to tell him before school ends, no matter what happens. Not making that mistake again.

ShinyDelusion

2009-12-30, 11:59 PM

Nerd camp. When you've got several hundred sexually repressed nerds in one place...

And the girl who pushed me away was (And still is) one of my best friends. She didn't mean to do it, and I was literally unable to protest because I had laryngitis at the time. But still, last dance EVER there, and I was sitting by myself, watching everyone else slow dance and make out, and there I was alone.

That's why I'm going to tell him before school ends, no matter what happens. Not making that mistake again.

I wanna go to nerd camp... I've been to band camp, but there's no--well, yes there is plenty of making out there, but I guess we're far more discreet about it. Hm. Closest I got to making out with anyone is that I think the freshman who sat next to me in rehearsal might have had a little crush on me. If he did, it wasn't totally unrequitted. He was too young, but that's what made him adorable...

Heheh. I just realized that your description of nerd camp sounds like potential for a crack pairings thread title. Crack Pairing Thread: Nerds Gone Wild

Anyway, good for you! And best of luck.

CoffeeIncluded

2009-12-31, 12:06 AM

I wanna go to nerd camp... I've been to band camp, but there's no--well, yes there is plenty of making out there, but I guess we're far more discreet about it. Hm. Closest I got to making out with anyone is that I think the freshman who sat next to me in rehearsal might have had a little crush on me. If he did, it wasn't totally unrequitted. He was too young, but that's what made him adorable...

Heheh. I just realized that your description of nerd camp sounds like potential for a crack pairings thread title. Crack Pairing Thread: Nerds Gone Wild

Anyway, good for you! And best of luck.

Hey, here's two little stories:

1. One of my friends, well two of my best friends: I helped them get together at the camp. I accidentally walked in on their first kiss.

2. Earlier that day, there was a couple, about 15, who...They were rolling around on the grass outside. At night. The counselors had to go and intervene.

And thanks. :smallredface:

ShinyDelusion

2009-12-31, 12:11 AM

Hey, here's two little stories:

1. One of my friends, well two of my best friends: I helped them get together at the camp. I accidentally walked in on their first kiss.

2. Earlier that day, there was a couple, about 15, who...They were rolling around on the grass outside. The counselors had to go and intervene.

And thanks. :smallredface:

1. d'Aww! That story is adorable!

2. They need to learn, as we Band Geeks have, that discretion is key. But seriously, bad kids, no R-rated stuff at camp. Aside from being disgusting it's appallingly cliche.

You're welcome. I just hope I can do something similar with Guy In My Programming Class without getting rolly-chair-blocked again.

Not saying this only to get back "on topic" but also because I'm nearly certain someone on this thread would try it: Maybe some OOTS characters have had interesting escapades at nerd camp. Or band camp. Bard camp?

Dark_Stryke

2009-12-31, 12:22 AM

We're way, way off topic now.

Nevertheless, Coffee, don't obsess over your sexual status. I didn't so much as kiss a girl until I was 18, and that's hardly abnormal.

And I don't know about not telling your crushes that you like them. At best, that maintains the status quo. I think if I could do-over my highschool career (and I wouldn't, but in a hypothetical situation where I did...) I'd probably be a lot more forthcoming about my crushes. I think my most shameful example of not acting on a crush was when a girl (who, mind you, was attracted to me as well) invited me over to watch movies, had me in her bed, and we were both too shy and stupid to say anything to each other. About 8 months later, we finally confessed our feelings. Between all the happy-chemicals in that moment I felt like a moron for not saying anything sooner. All those months wasted on innuendo and flirtation...

Ah, the teenage years. I'm so glad to be done with them.

(Gonna be 21 in february, for those who are wondering.)

Water-Smurf

2009-12-31, 12:30 AM

Hey, guys, how do you think Inky would have reacted in any of the following situations:

1. Without any prior knowledge, s/he walks in on an obviously pregnant V making out with Reddy.

2. Is told the whole 'I got your ex-wife pregnant a month before she was your ex-wife' thing by Redcloak in a hospital (where heavily pregnant!V is being checked out by tons of clerics) after the Snarl thing.

3. Is told the whole story by Vaarsuvius, with or without Reddy present, while V is obviously preggers.

I'm jotting down some mental notes and I don't relate well to Inkyrius, so I need help in nailing hir character.

And I think that the poor baker is going to need some meds in this story...

ShinyDelusion

2009-12-31, 12:30 AM

I wouldn't call this conversation "off topic" if we can reasonably substitute "a necessary prelude to discovering the concept of 'One time, at Bard Camp...'"

That sucks about just watching movies in bed, though.

As for WaterSmurf's question, let's see...

1. Probably a passionate outburst that may cover what a bad spouse and parent V already was before arriving here and will end in him (I'm just picking a pronoun for Inky so I won't have to stop and think about it) walking away.

2. No idea.

3. A more toned down, maybe even depressed and disspassionate variation of the vaguely-outlined outburst above, that will also end in him walking away. After all, all things considered, they were destined for divorce and Inky might have already realized this by now.

Hope that helps, even though I haven't gotten the chance to read much of your stuff yet. (I've loved what I have read, though!)

Cracklord

2009-12-31, 12:36 AM

Hello thread. Been a while.
Another installment on my infamous story. No rape, torture, but Belkar dies again, and this time I'll leave him there, until I get a bright idea, at which point he'll be back so I can kill him again.

Belkar growled. He wanted to make the pain stop, but more then that, he wanted to pass it on. He wanted to set fire to a rainforest, and listen as the dryads screamed. He wanted to gut a golden dragon and bathe in it’s blood, laugh as it's hoard tarnished and melted, he wanted to cut up a nymph until no one called it beautiful again but screamed at the sight of it, drown a bird of paradise and leave it to rot, knock down all the monuments he'd never see, and burn all the artworks he'd never understand or appreciate.

Belkar licked his dry lips, Belial's seed still burning within his belly like burning sand. “I want to destroy something beautiful.”

Belial, watching from a place the Halfling could not perceive, yet could feel in his bones, smiled, licking his lips again, eyes sparkling with arousal. "Do." He said, his words somehow finding their way to Belkar's ears. "But remember, we all have our turns, and mine comes next." His long tongue flicked out again, terrible in it’s intimate promise, pausing a second before the halfling's neck, then withdrawing. "And lasts forever."

* * * * *

Roy had been with Celia for perhaps ten minutes when it happened.

And he'd spent every second of it gloriously distracted, reveling in her nearness, drinking in the sight of her.

He loved her, in a way he found difficult to articulate. She was smart, and witty, and respectful of people, and had a very clear understanding of what was right and wrong, all things he found very attractive, as well as the fact that she was drop-dead gorgeous, but it was more then that. It was more then she valued life, or that she adored him, or anything easy to put into words, categorize into boxes that summed up his feelings.

He was intoxicated by the way she moved, the way she sounded, the way she looked at him. He fantasized about the way the sunlight made her hair glow, the way her smile was slightly lopsided to the left, the way she crinkled her eyes before laughing, everything.

Roy wasn’t a private person, who wore his allegiances and feelings like a badge, and yet he couldn’t articulate what it was that made her so special.

He'd been in relationships before, but this was more then that. Part of him was frustrated that he never could make her understand how he felt, while another was terrified by these feelings and the loss of control they meant.

They were passing under an overhang of unworked stone in the maze when Celia stopped, her expression frozen, her eyes wide, her mouth forming an ‘O’ with surprise. Then she collapsed, and Roy noticed the dagger buried in her throat.

Forgetting every combat lesson he’d ever been taught, he rushed to her side, grabbing her small hand in his big one.

“Stay with me, baby.” He pleaded franticly, desperation making his voice hollow. “Celia, stay with me. Please. Durkon can fix that, I know he can. Don’t stop fighting. Please baby.”

She gave him a weak smile as she slipped away, her body dissolving into the clearest air he’d ever felt as she died, a cool mountain breeze.

Roy sobbed, not even remembering the dagger that had killed her, caught up in his loss, losing all awareness of his surroundings.

A figure barreled into him, knocking him over and twisting his brawny arm behind him. To weak with depression to even fight back, he was shocked when he recognized the voice.

“Always hated that bitch. So self righteous, so sure she’s better then everyone else. Well, look how that turned out for her. Wonder if she still feels that way. Hey, whose better now? Would you look at that. No answer.” He grinned madly. “Guess papa Belkar was right after all. Only wish I’d got a chance to cut her up before I was done with her. Bet she would have begged beautifully.” He sighed, then turned his attention to Roy, who was suddenly struggling manfully, murder in his eyes.

"Why?" He roared, seemingly unable to articulate himself. Just the same, Belkar shrugged.

"Welcome to the Jungle. Better to hurt then be hurt. It's been alright, Roy, but I'm not going back."

"What the bloody hell are you talking about?" Roy growled, still trying to untwist his arm.

Belkar's smile slipped a it. "The fourth one. Made a deal, and here we are. You can't understand Roy. You can't. He'll... He'll." Belkar snapped out of it, the look of fear that had lit up in his eyes passing. "I don't want to think about it. And if I do what he says, I won't have to."

Belkar grinned, although it seemed a little forced. “Now I’m going to make you squeal like your whore of a girlfriend.” He said, smiling the smile of someone in a lot of pain who knows he’s about to pass it on to someone else. “Maybe I’ll –“ But Belkar never finished the sentence.

For it was at that moment a spear erupted through his chest.

Durkon was standing behind the halfliing, his arm steel behind the knotted oak of his spear haft. The spear had passed cleanly through the halflings back and through his ribs, severing his spine and a lung, as well as grazing his heart.

Belkar forced words between his lips, coming out as a sort of rattling gargle through the blood that oozed out. “I always figured it would be Roy who killed me.” He said in a weak, shuddering voice.

Durkon didn’t say anything, but he twisted the spear, making Belkar moan.

“Want to hear my last words?” Belkar said, with the barest hint of a smile.

“Ah joost did.” Durkon relied coldly, wrenching the spear out with a horrible sucking sound. Belkar sank to his knees. At first there was a great gush of blood, that dwindled as the shock set in. The was an arcid smell as he lost control of his bowels, and the Halfling gibbered as he tried to speak. He shuddered and convulsed, clawing desperately at the dwarf’s leg, but there was no strength to his arms and soon he couldn’t even do that, twisting and thrashing as his organs bled into each other. Then he was dead, his soul departed down to the deepest pits of hell. Where Belial would be waiting.

Roy collapsed, sobbing gently, near Celia’s body. Harley was somewhere in the maze, calling out Elan’s name. And V… could be anywhere.

Durkon wished he was better with words, wished he could take his best friend, and tell him it would be OK, that he’d make it through this, and be stronger because of it. But he wasn’t, and any words he could offer would be empty of meaning, pointless.

So instead he walked past to stand infront of the gate.

A figure was there, leaning heavily against the frame, grey locks poking from beneath a wide brimmed hat, a single eye with all the wisdom of the universe staring out from beneath it.

“Not to bad a start.”

“Ae dinnae follow ye. Three ‘o me friends be dead, an’ yon Halfling ain’t goin’ tae hurt anyone.” He added sarcasticly, rage and sorrow making him suicidally disrespectful, “Unless he dinnae need lungs tae breathe, o’ course.”
Odin shook his head. “I didn’t need you to kill that little Halfling. I need you to fix the world.”

“I think ye may be over estimatin’ me capabilities a wee bit.”

Odin shook his head. “Your underestimating yourself. Besides, you will be more then you are now.” He gave a wolfish smile, then spread his hands. “I leave you your choice. With this hand.” He lifted his right hand, gnarled and strong as an ancient oak “I control all, but I rule nothing. With this hand” he lifted his left, the same, with a single gold ring on his index finger “I control nothing, but my rule is sure and long.”

Durkon wanted to spit. “I dinnae want neither. Ae dinnae need either. Tae be honest, all ae want is tae git this oot o’ tha way, then live as long as ae can wit’ me girl.”

Odin didn’t so much as blink. “We all have our fates. And we must all meet them. It is how we meet them that defines who we are.” Odin replied. “I know you Durkon. You won’t run.”

“Joost ths same, ae dinnae want either.”

Odin glowered, but before he could speak, Durkon added “But if’n ae hae ta choose, ah’ll take both.”

A certain resignation flashed across the grey gods face, on any other, it would have been fear, but instead it was a gritted teeth acceptance of the inevitable, and the decision to resist anyway.

“So be it.”

Didn't get the emotion quite right, but needs must when the devil drives. If anyone is still interested in this, tell me and I'll write a few more chapters.
By the way, I was thinking of posting another version of this on fanfiction.net, where I don't have to censer but can write it in all of it's perverted glory. Over there, they don't care if Belial cuts open Belkar to use his blood as a lubricant, or whatever.
I need a beta.

Simple. In any situation in the story, just think: SEX!

An intriguing suggestion.
My issue is frankly I find sex boring. Companionship is far more interesting.

Aaron

2009-12-31, 12:41 AM

Simple. In any situation in the story, just think: SEX!

:eek: Thank you for that simple, but really disturbing statement. I can now picture my 14 year old bother saying that over and over and over again.
*smashes head repeatedly against the desk* :smallannoyed:

Nerd camp. When you've got several hundred sexually repressed nerds in one place...

:smallannoyed:...:smallconfused: *sniff* I smell some delicious, yet disturbing, potential crack* pairings. :smallwink:

*the legal kind

ShneekeyTheLost

2009-12-31, 01:16 AM

Wait... One Night At Bard Camp...

Elan x Jenny (thief's guild bard that Belkster kissed in #611)

ShinyDelusion

2009-12-31, 01:20 AM

Wait... One Night At Bard Camp...

Elan x Jenny (thief's guild bard that Belkster kissed in #611)

Oh Lower Planes yes!

It must be written.

ShneekeyTheLost

2009-12-31, 01:36 AM

Trying to submit my Darth V x Tsukiko lemon to ff.net. Having issues. Trying to get it to the right place... any advice would be welcomed. Send it in PM's.

Since I brought it up, I will try to write out the Elan x Jenny fic. More on the sappy romantic this time.

Cracklord

2009-12-31, 01:39 AM

By the way, before i forget, I am now a professional Writer!
Not really, but I entered a competition, and came first place, meaning my story shall be published in an obscure magazine and I get one thousand dollars!

ShneekeyTheLost

2009-12-31, 01:41 AM

ShinyDelusion

2009-12-31, 01:47 AM

Oooohaloophole

2009-12-31, 01:55 AM

Hello thread. Been a while.
Another installment on my infamous story. No rape, torture, but Belkar dies again, and this time I'll leave him there, until I get a bright idea, at which point he'll be back so I can kill him again.

Belkar growled. He wanted to make the pain stop, but more then that, he wanted to pass it on. He wanted to set fire to a rainforest, and listen as the dryads screamed. He wanted to gut a golden dragon and bathe in it’s blood, laugh as it's hoard tarnished and melted, he wanted to cut up a nymph until no one called it beautiful again but screamed at the sight of it, drown a bird of paradise and leave it to rot, knock down all the monuments he'd never see, and burn all the artworks he'd never understand or appreciate.

Belkar licked his dry lips, Belial's seed still burning within his belly like burning sand. “I want to destroy something beautiful.”

Belial, watching from a place the Halfling could not perceive, yet could feel in his bones, smiled, licking his lips again, eyes sparkling with arousal. "Do." He said, his words somehow finding their way to Belkar's ears. "But remember, we all have our turns, and mine comes next." His long tongue flicked out again, terrible in it’s intimate promise, pausing a second before the halfling's neck, then withdrawing. "And lasts forever."

* * * * *

Roy had been with Celia for perhaps ten minutes when it happened.

And he'd spent every second of it gloriously distracted, reveling in her nearness, drinking in the sight of her.

He loved her, in a way he found difficult to articulate. She was smart, and witty, and respectful of people, and had a very clear understanding of what was right and wrong, all things he found very attractive, as well as the fact that she was drop-dead gorgeous, but it was more then that. It was more then she valued life, or that she adored him, or anything easy to put into words, categorize into boxes that summed up his feelings.

He was intoxicated by the way she moved, the way she sounded, the way she looked at him. He fantasized about the way the sunlight made her hair glow, the way her smile was slightly lopsided to the left, the way she crinkled her eyes before laughing, everything.

Roy wasn’t a private person, who wore his allegiances and feelings like a badge, and yet he couldn’t articulate what it was that made her so special.

He'd been in relationships before, but this was more then that. Part of him was frustrated that he never could make her understand how he felt, while another was terrified by these feelings and the loss of control they meant.

They were passing under an overhang of unworked stone in the maze when Celia stopped, her expression frozen, her eyes wide, her mouth forming an ‘O’ with surprise. Then she collapsed, and Roy noticed the dagger buried in her throat.

Forgetting every combat lesson he’d ever been taught, he rushed to her side, grabbing her small hand in his big one.

“Stay with me, baby.” He pleaded franticly, desperation making his voice hollow. “Celia, stay with me. Please. Durkon can fix that, I know he can. Don’t stop fighting. Please baby.”

She gave him a weak smile as she slipped away, her body dissolving into the clearest air he’d ever felt as she died, a cool mountain breeze.

Roy sobbed, not even remembering the dagger that had killed her, caught up in his loss, losing all awareness of his surroundings.

A figure barreled into him, knocking him over and twisting his brawny arm behind him. To weak with depression to even fight back, he was shocked when he recognized the voice.

“Always hated that bitch. So self righteous, so sure she’s better then everyone else. Well, look how that turned out for her. Wonder if she still feels that way. Hey, whose better now? Would you look at that. No answer.” He grinned madly. “Guess papa Belkar was right after all. Only wish I’d got a chance to cut her up before I was done with her. Bet she would have begged beautifully.” He sighed, then turned his attention to Roy, who was suddenly struggling manfully, murder in his eyes.

"Why?" He roared, seemingly unable to articulate himself. Just the same, Belkar shrugged.

"Welcome to the Jungle. Better to hurt then be hurt. It's been alright, Roy, but I'm not going back."

"What the bloody hell are you talking about?" Roy growled, still trying to untwist his arm.

Belkar's smile slipped a it. "The fourth one. Made a deal, and here we are. You can't understand Roy. You can't. He'll... He'll." Belkar snapped out of it, the look of fear that had lit up in his eyes passing. "I don't want to think about it. And if I do what he says, I won't have to."

Belkar grinned, although it seemed a little forced. “Now I’m going to make you squeal like your whore of a girlfriend.” He said, smiling the smile of someone in a lot of pain who knows he’s about to pass it on to someone else. “Maybe I’ll –“ But Belkar never finished the sentence.

For it was at that moment a spear erupted through his chest.

Durkon was standing behind the halfliing, his arm steel behind the knotted oak of his spear haft. The spear had passed cleanly through the halflings back and through his ribs, severing his spine and a lung, as well as grazing his heart.

Belkar forced words between his lips, coming out as a sort of rattling gargle through the blood that oozed out. “I always figured it would be Roy who killed me.” He said in a weak, shuddering voice.

Durkon didn’t say anything, but he twisted the spear, making Belkar moan.

“Want to hear my last words?” Belkar said, with the barest hint of a smile.

“Ah joost did.” Durkon relied coldly, wrenching the spear out with a horrible sucking sound. Belkar sank to his knees. At first there was a great gush of blood, that dwindled as the shock set in. The was an arcid smell as he lost control of his bowels, and the Halfling gibbered as he tried to speak. He shuddered and convulsed, clawing desperately at the dwarf’s leg, but there was no strength to his arms and soon he couldn’t even do that, twisting and thrashing as his organs bled into each other. Then he was dead, his soul departed down to the deepest pits of hell. Where Belial would be waiting.

Roy collapsed, sobbing gently, near Celia’s body. Harley was somewhere in the maze, calling out Elan’s name. And V… could be anywhere.

Durkon wished he was better with words, wished he could take his best friend, and tell him it would be OK, that he’d make it through this, and be stronger because of it. But he wasn’t, and any words he could offer would be empty of meaning, pointless.

So instead he walked past to stand infront of the gate.

A figure was there, leaning heavily against the frame, grey locks poking from beneath a wide brimmed hat, a single eye with all the wisdom of the universe staring out from beneath it.

“Not to bad a start.”

“Ae dinnae follow ye. Three ‘o me friends be dead, an’ yon Halfling ain’t goin’ tae hurt anyone.” He added sarcasticly, rage and sorrow making him suicidally disrespectful, “Unless he dinnae need lungs tae breathe, o’ course.”
Odin shook his head. “I didn’t need you to kill that little Halfling. I need you to fix the world.”

“I think ye may be over estimatin’ me capabilities a wee bit.”

Odin shook his head. “Your underestimating yourself. Besides, you will be more then you are now.” He gave a wolfish smile, then spread his hands. “I leave you your choice. With this hand.” He lifted his right hand, gnarled and strong as an ancient oak “I control all, but I rule nothing. With this hand” he lifted his left, the same, with a single gold ring on his index finger “I control nothing, but my rule is sure and long.”

Durkon wanted to spit. “I dinnae want neither. Ae dinnae need either. Tae be honest, all ae want is tae git this oot o’ tha way, then live as long as ae can wit’ me girl.”

Odin didn’t so much as blink. “We all have our fates. And we must all meet them. It is how we meet them that defines who we are.” Odin replied. “I know you Durkon. You won’t run.”

“Joost ths same, ae dinnae want either.”

Odin glowered, but before he could speak, Durkon added “But if’n ae hae ta choose, ah’ll take both.”

A certain resignation flashed across the grey gods face, on any other, it would have been fear, but instead it was a gritted teeth acceptance of the inevitable, and the decision to resist anyway.

“So be it.”

Didn't get the emotion quite right, but needs must when the devil drives. If anyone is still interested in this, tell me and I'll write a few more chapters.
By the way, I was thinking of posting another version of this on fanfiction.net, where I don't have to censer but can write it in all of it's perverted glory. Over there, they don't care if Belial cuts open Belkar to use his blood as a lubricant, or whatever.
I need a beta.

An intriguing suggestion.
My issue is frankly I find sex boring. Companionship is far more interesting.

Hmmmm. You know what. Ill try to write a story. It is fun. And a single question. In 3.5 Rules can you resurect Outsiders with true resurection, cause in pathfinder you can.

Dark_Stryke

2009-12-31, 02:00 AM

Hmmmm. You know what. Ill try to write a story. It is fun. And a single question. In 3.5 Rules can you resurect Outsiders with true resurection, cause in pathfinder you can.

Limited Wish, Wish, Miracle, or True Ressurection will restore a slain outsider to life (Monster Manual Page 313).

Have fun!

Sstoopidtallkid

2009-12-31, 02:01 AM

Hmmmm. You know what. Ill try to write a story. It is fun. And a single question. In 3.5 Rules can you resurect Outsiders with true resurection, cause in pathfinder you can.SpC has a 6th level spell, Revive Outsider, that does specifically what it says on the tin.

But if you want to stick to Core, yes, you can (http://www.d20srd.org/srd/spells/trueResurrection.htm).

Cracklord

2009-12-31, 02:07 AM

Hmmmm. You know what. Ill try to write a story. It is fun. And a single question. In 3.5 Rules can you resurect Outsiders with true resurection, cause in pathfinder you can.

Fanfiction of my fanfiction?
Wow.

ShneekeyTheLost

2009-12-31, 02:11 AM

ShinyDelusion

2009-12-31, 02:30 AM

One word for you, Shneeky: Whoa.

I guess in this particular universe it's safe to say that Vaarsuvius's alignment was heavily affected by the soul splice. Hm. For some reason I'm wondering if V's new dom persona has anything to do with Haerta's influence...

Well anyway, whether it leaves a reader reaching for the brain bleach or filing the mental images away to enjoy again later, it was definitely written well and certainly qualifies as "doing something with it". Well done, Shneeky!

Now, I go to bed. And hope I don't have weird dreams. Or do I?

Oooohaloophole

2009-12-31, 05:11 AM

Fanfiction of my fanfiction?
Wow.

Sort of. Its just your perspective of balkar is very awe inspiring. So yeah feel proud. Anyway I want to write a continguation of the V/I/A (Waaaah?) story except it will contian wild fury anger and the death (and resurection) of an archmage. I just felt that I acted to ....(I promised no curse words to pathfinder)

Zanaril

2009-12-31, 05:31 AM

Okay, the Darth V x Tsukiko fic is up on ff.net as "Now Entering". If someone could move it from the general OotS area to the Cracked Pairings community, I would be grateful. Enjoy, everyone...

... don't forget the Brain Bleach

That was hilarious! And Evil!V is hawt.

It seems Evil!V decided to take the chance to relieve some major suppressed urges there. :smallamused: This isn't doing anything except encouraging my crush.

Or maybe that's just normal for V? o_0 poor Inky...

Well, considering that I'm a sexually repressed nerd who has never been so much as kissed, who has walked in on an obscene number of makeout sessions (17 in forty minutes), and the one time I almost kissed someone, I literally got pushed to the side and spend the rest of the dance sitting by the wall, by myself, watching everyone else slowdance, trying not to cry...
We're all in the same boat here, Coffee...:smalltongue:

Sort of. Its just your perspective of balkar is very awe inspiring. So yeah feel proud. Anyway I want to write a continguation of the V/I/A (Waaaah?) story except it will contian wild fury anger and the death (and resurection) of an archmage. I just felt that I acted to ....(I promised no curse words to pathfinder)
Which V/I/A story? I think there's been a few of them...

Asta Kask

2009-12-31, 06:09 AM

It means sex-crazed, generally, a sex-crazed female.

Nymphomaniac means sex-crazed female. Satyriasis is the same the disorder in males. Hypersexuality (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hypersexuality) is the general term. In elves, it is called Vaarsuvius' Disorder.

Just because it's a class feature of the Fanfic Writer Prestige Class doesn't mean I've taken ranks in it. I just happened to roll well. :smalltongue:

You probably have a decent default - it's based on Intelligence, isn't it? :smallwink:

Edit: Oh, and CI, remember (http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0309.html) this? (//www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0311.html). Still, it's much easier to give advice than it is to take it.

Asta Kask

2009-12-31, 06:11 AM

That was hilarious! And Evil!V is hawt.

It seems Evil!V decided to take the chance to relieve some major suppressed urges there. :smallamused:

Considering what V has been through, I don't think s/he has any suppressed urges...

Zanaril

2009-12-31, 07:37 AM

Considering what V has been through, I don't think s/he has any suppressed urges...

I meant the urge to be the one on top for once.

Oooohaloophole

2009-12-31, 07:39 AM

That was hilarious! And Evil!V is hawt.

It seems Evil!V decided to take the chance to relieve some major suppressed urges there. :smallamused: This isn't doing anything except encouraging my crush.

Or maybe that's just normal for V? o_0 poor Inky...

We're all in the same boat here, Coffee...:smalltongue:

Which V/I/A story? I think there's been a few of them...

Its my own one...Its not a triangle but two lines connected at one....I. OK. (Perverts)

Asta Kask

2009-12-31, 07:41 AM

I meant the urge to be the one on top for once.

I don't think she has put any ranks in Ride...

CoffeeIncluded

2009-12-31, 07:45 AM

Look, sorry about yesterday; I tend to go into rant mode a bit. And I miss my friends there.

Anybody got a link to the story?

Oh, and congrats, Cracklord!

Zanaril

2009-12-31, 07:46 AM

I don't think she has put any ranks in Ride...

Who's to say s/he (is it weird that I can mentally flip between V's genders so easily?) hasn't picked up a few since the OOTS got those horses?

Its my own one...Its not a triangle but two lines connected at one....I. OK. (Perverts)
Your weird innuendo both amuses and worries me.

Also, why no V/A lovin'? It seems more likely to be canon than AandyxInky.

Anybody got a link to the story?

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5626418/1/Now_Entering

It's honestly not that lemony. A sour lime at most.

Cracklord

2009-12-31, 07:51 AM

Thank you.

Anyway, I am know writing a chapter about Slaanesh V returning to Ivyleaf, where V will lose all inhibitions and self control. It should be interesting.
I suspect, however, that I shall rapidly lose interest now that Belkar is out of the picture. It is my hate that kept me writing this long, and now it is all meaningless. He's gone to a place it's best not to speculate about, more gratuitous torture, rape and degradation would be boring, and I've already killed him twice. I can't really justify bringing him back again. We'll see.

CoffeeIncluded

2009-12-31, 07:53 AM

Also, why no V/A lovin'? It seems more likely to be canon than AandyxInky.

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5626418/1/Now_Entering

It's honestly not that lemony. A sour lime at most.

Yes, but that means fewer elves. :smalltongue:

Ah, thank you!

Zanaril

2009-12-31, 07:56 AM

Yes, but that means fewer elves. :smalltongue:

Ah, thank you!

I didn't say Inky couldn't join in too!

Anyway, I am now writing a chapter about Slaanesh V returning to Ivyleaf, where V will lose all inhibitions and self control. It should be interesting.
I think that's a bit of an understatement. :smallamused:

I suspect, however, that I shall rapidly lose interest now that Belkar is out of the picture. It is my hate that kept me writing this long, and now it is all meaningless. He's gone to a place it's best not to speculate about, and I've already killed him twice. I can't really justify bringing him back again. We'll see.

Belial likes watching him die.

Also, if Belkar ran into Slaanesh!V, would they start attacking each other or groping each other?

Cracklord

2009-12-31, 07:57 AM

Why has there been no new additions to Durkon x Lien?
There is no excuse.

CoffeeIncluded

2009-12-31, 07:58 AM

I didn't say Inky couldn't join in too!

I think that's a bit of an understatement. :smallamused:

Hey, remember a few pages back I made a reference to a Fanfic Writer prestige class?

Wanna help me build the class for fun and profit? :smalltongue:

Cracklord

2009-12-31, 08:01 AM

Zanaril

2009-12-31, 08:02 AM

Craft (disturbing mental image)!

CoffeeIncluded

2009-12-31, 08:04 AM

Why not. Have to be some sort of knowledge skill, Cha based (convincing others of the truth you speak, and manipulating feelings).
Probably a prestige class for bards who become obsessed with other people's stories and keep adding to them (fluff-wise).
Spellcasting should be illusion/Enchantment based, few spells but fast progression.
Probably right in to diplomacy cheese.
That a useful foundation with which to build your class?

Okay, but I'm really no good at class building.

How about, just as there are several knowledge skills, there are several craft stills. Craft story (Comedy), Craft story (Dramatic), Craft story (Smut), and so forth.

But the Craft skills have to be intelligence based. It's really difficult to be an idiot and write a good story.

And it doesn't have to be a story; it can be art too.

And on a random note, it's snowing outside. :smallsmile:

Cracklord

2009-12-31, 08:07 AM

At level one, a fanfic writer gains the bonus ability, 'so bad it's good.' Regardless of the time spent creating the finished product, it always has a completed value of the Fanfic writer's level x 100. Products created in this way must be at lest fifty pages long.
At level three, a fanfic writer gains 'craft: Disturbing mental image,' as a Bonus feat.
At seventh level, a fanfic writer gains 'Only paying tribute' as a supernatural ability. No one examining their work will ever realize the similarities between the works you stole the idea's and characters from, even failing to notice outright plagiarism. If this is pointed out to them, they will dismiss it in short order.
At level ten, a fanfic writer has surpassed canon, and turned a mediocre story into a fine piece of literature of thought and complexity far beyond the original.

And on a random note, it's snowing outside. :smallsmile:

Ha ha!
I love Australia.
Of course the lack of surf irritates me, but every decade or so you get a dud New Year. Beggar's can't be choosers.

CoffeeIncluded

2009-12-31, 08:10 AM

At level one, a fanfic writer gains the bonus ability, 'so bad it's good.' Regardless of the time spent creating the finished product, it always has a completed value of the Fanfic writer's level x 100. Products created in this way must be at lest fifty pages long.
At level three, a fanfic writer gains 'craft: Disturbing mental image,' as a Bonus feat.
At seventh level, a fanfic writer gains 'Only paying tribute' as a supernatural ability. No one examining their work will ever realize the similarities between the works you stole the idea's and characters from. If this is pointed out to them, they will dismiss it in short order.
At level ten, a fanfic writer has surpassed canon, and turned a mediocre story into a fine piece of literature of thought and complexity equal to or far beyond the original.

I'm sorry, I had to add that.

Hm, okay...

And another feature could have to do with the crazy ideas people get from seemingly mundane things.

Cracklord

2009-12-31, 08:14 AM

It wasn't me! It was the rats in the walls!
I had this idea one night lying in bed listening to my wooden house creak. (If you don't get the reference, you're a lucky person.)

CoffeeIncluded

2009-12-31, 08:15 AM

It wasn't me! It was the rats in the walls!
I had this idea one night lying in bed listening to my wooden house creak. (If you don't get the reference, you're a lucky person.)

Or I just woke up and I'm still a bit groggy.

Can you please tell me?

And do you want to help me build the class?

Cracklord

2009-12-31, 08:32 AM

It's a H P Lovecraft story. He follows the sound of rats into his basement, where he finds a massive complex where his ancestors used to keep people, (to use as food), all of who devolved over time, and eventually ate each other, and where in turn eaten by the rats. This revelation drives him crazy, he kills his friend with a rock and tries to eat him, is caught and locked in an asylum, where he cries and yells out "It wasn't me, it was the rats in the walls."

And I'll help you build the class if you want, but right now I need sleep. Badly.

CoffeeIncluded

2009-12-31, 08:34 AM

Oooohaloophole

2009-12-31, 08:42 AM

Who's to say s/he (is it weird that I can mentally flip between V's genders so easily?) hasn't picked up a few since the OOTS got those horses?

Your weird innuendo both amuses and worries me.

Also, why no V/A lovin'? It seems more likely to be canon than AandyxInky.

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5626418/1/Now_Entering

It's honestly not that lemony. A sour lime at most.

Because V always is a dude to me and I will hold my breath agian till my brian cells die if I evr make him gay or lesbian (But i got nothin agianst real people you know).

Asta Kask

2009-12-31, 09:22 AM

Look, sorry about yesterday; I tend to go into rant mode a bit. And I miss my friends there.

We all need to rant sometimes. That's a great advantage with cats - you can rant all you want to them and the worst thing that can happen is that they fall asleep.

Aren't you 17 now? Is that like gaining a level? Gratz!

Happy new year - may the new year be (at least) as squicky as the last.

CoffeeIncluded

2009-12-31, 09:24 AM

We all need to rant sometimes. That's a great advantage with cats - you can rant all you want to them and the worst thing that can happen is that they fall asleep.

Aren't you 17 now? Is that like gaining a level? Gratz!

Happy new year - may the new year be (at least) as squicky as the last.

No, I'm still sixteen until July.

Happy new year to you too.

Oooohaloophole

2009-12-31, 10:22 AM

The problem is that I do have Craft disturbing images as a feet but I specilize in torture and blood effects but Unfortunatly when it comes to random rolling I am not immune to the effects.

Zanaril

2009-12-31, 10:27 AM

Because V always is a dude to me and I will hold my breath agian till my brian cells die if I evr make him gay or lesbian (But i got nothin agianst real people you know).

...But it's not gay if it's a threesome? :smallconfused: (:smalltongue:)

Your strong opposition of same-sex relationships seems strangely at odds with the nature of this thread. Can I just make a reccomendation that you be very careful if you wish to express your opinions on the matter?

CoffeeIncluded

2009-12-31, 10:30 AM

In random news, Red is the only trainer left in my Teddiursa only run. The final battle.

His pokemon are fully evolved, and almost level 80.

Elan's unevolved, and only level 82.

*Gulps*

Monzach

2009-12-31, 10:43 AM

CoffeeIncluded

2009-12-31, 10:47 AM

We'll need to add a supernatural ability to craft Brain Bleach to the class. Brain Bleach can be created up to the character's class level number of times per day and gives Resistance 20 against Psychic and Fear effects. :smallwink:

That sounds good. :smallsmile:

Also, you get a +2(?) bonus to Squick Saves and Fear effects per level in the class. This also acts as a morale bonus to your allies (They get half the bonus to the saves as a morale bonus?). And it stacks.

Oh, and I just finished the Teddiursa-only run! Elan defeated Red, the strongest trainer in the game, with ONE HIT POINT LEFT.

Oooohaloophole

2009-12-31, 11:26 AM

CoffeeIncluded

2009-12-31, 11:28 AM

Zanaril

2009-12-31, 11:30 AM

.....

What.

My thoughts exactly.

CoffeeIncluded

2009-12-31, 11:35 AM

My thoughts exactly.

I don't know whether to laugh or cry.

Also, what do you think of the ending of the Teddiursa-Only run? Appropriate for Elan, no?

Zanaril

2009-12-31, 11:39 AM

I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Back away slowly. Don't make eye contact. Try not to provoke it.

Also, what do you think of the ending of the Teddiursa-Only run? Appropriate for Elan, no?

Improbably dramatic? Certainly was. :smallsmile:

CoffeeIncluded

2009-12-31, 11:40 AM

Back away slowly. Don't make eye contact. Try not to provoke it.

Do not taunt Happy Fun Ball.

Improbably dramatic? Certainly was. :smallsmile:

One HP left and he defeated the final boss! I was right to name him Elan. :smallsmile:

Zanaril

2009-12-31, 11:42 AM

One HP left and he defeated the final boss! I was right to name him Elan. :smallsmile:

Or was it naming him Elan which allowed him to do that? :smallwink:

CoffeeIncluded

2009-12-31, 11:48 AM

Or was it naming him Elan which allowed him to do that? :smallwink:

Good point. :smalltongue:

Got any crack pairing ideas?

Zanaril

2009-12-31, 12:09 PM

Good point. :smalltongue:

Got any crack pairing ideas?

Not really. :smallfrown:

CoffeeIncluded

2009-12-31, 12:11 PM

Not really. :smallfrown:

Hmmm...Julia/Durkon, skimpy swim suit? (For extra squick, give it to Durkon?)

Have you seen that La-Mulana video I showed you guys?

silversaraph

2009-12-31, 12:27 PM

Has anyone noticed that the title of the thread is cracking pairings V? All roads lead to V in crack pairings...

I can't keep up on these threads, eight pages a day is too much.

The Dark Fiddler

2009-12-31, 12:36 PM

Has anyone noticed that the title of the thread is cracking pairings V? All roads lead to V in crack pairings...

I can't keep up on these threads, eight pages a day is too much.

Yup, somebody did. About 6 pages ago.

And yes, it is. Please stay on-topic, guys. (Again, hate to be a killjoy, but we're already nearing 1/5 of the thread).

CoffeeIncluded

2009-12-31, 12:42 PM

Yup, somebody did. About 6 pages ago.

And yes, it is. Please stay on-topic, guys. (Again, hate to be a killjoy, but we're already nearing 1/5 of the thread).

Hey, I'm just providing inspiration here!

...Sorry if I'm being annoying. I'm just paranoid that I've been screwing things up ever since I showed up here.

Sereg

2009-12-31, 01:05 PM

Alright, I’m back home and providing the anticipated sequel (thanks for the compliments eeryone, it’s great to feel appreciated) to “The Worst Thing that Could Ever Happen.”

”This is ridiculous.” thought Tsukiko, “It’s my dream, so I should be in control and it’s my fantasy so I should enjoy it.”

Xykon and Redcloak’s makeout session was rudely interupted with the word “Disintegrate.” Spoken by a familiar voice, followed by the door being reduced to its componant molecules. In through the recently “unlocked” doorway flew Tsukiko, her hands glowing with blue and purple energy respectively. “Alright, I’m crashing this party.” she said, “I’m in charge now. Bugsby’s swatting hand.” The resulting hang flung Redcloak clear into the the opposite wall.”
“Aaaaargh.” groaned Redcloak.
“Tsukiko please..” begged Xykon as he pulled up his robes.
“Don’t you interfere. Forecage.” ordered Tsukiko, “and you’ll find that that one is a lot less than moderately escapable.” She turned back to where Redcloak was struggly to get up. “This is for the elemental!” she cried, “Quickened maximised empowered polar ray which oddly takes less time to say than polar ray.”
“What power!” said Xykon with awe, “Tsukiko I’m seeing you in a whole new light.” Tsukiko walked up to Redcloak’s fresh corpse. “I’m not done with you yet, create perfect undead.” Redcloak opened his eyes in shock. “There, you are much better this way.” Tsukiko declared, “Back to business. Dismiss forecage. Improved heightened x 42 control undead.” Redcloak’s and Xykon’s eyes began to swirl. “Now kiss me!” she ordered.
“Yeeeeessss, Mistress.” they replied.

I believe that I have to give credit to Zanaril’s old and infamous avatar for some of the inspiration. I also request that we add the acronym UACTDAAP to our vocabulary.

Oh, and I think I’m the winner when it comes to pathetic love lives. I’m 23 and have been on one…thing that one might generously call a date, that was organized by a mutual friend. Also, once when I was in primary school, a girl who claimed that she loved me 9not that I ever believed her), stabbed me in the hand with a compass. (Try using that for inspiration.)

EDIT: Sorry, forgot to add, thanks Lira for the links.

CoffeeIncluded

2009-12-31, 01:13 PM

Alright, I’m back home and providing the anticipated sequel (thanks for the compliments eeryone, it’s great to feel appreciated) to “The Worst Thing that Could Ever Happen.”

”This is ridiculous.” thought Tsukiko, “It’s my dream, so I should be in control and it’s my fantasy so I should enjoy it.”

Xykon and Redcloak’s makeout session was rudely interupted with the word “Disintegrate.” Spoken by a familiar voice, followed by the door being reduced to its componant molecules. In through the recently “unlocked” doorway flew Tsukiko, her hands glowing with blue and purple energy respectively. “Alright, I’m crashing this party.” she said, “I’m in charge now. Bugsby’s swatting hand.” The resulting hang flung Redcloak clear into the the opposite wall.”
“Aaaaargh.” groaned Redcloak.
“Tsukiko please..” begged Xykon as he pulled up his robes.
“Don’t you interfere. Forecage.” ordered Tsukiko, “and you’ll find that that one is a lot less than moderately escapable.” She turned back to where Redcloak was struggly to get up. “This is for the elemental!” she cried, “Quickened maximised empowered polar ray which oddly takes less time to say than polar ray.”
“What power!” said Xykon with awe, “Tsukiko I’m seeing you in a whole new light.” Tsukiko walked up to Redcloak’s fresh corpse. “I’m not done with you yet, create perfect undead.” Redcloak opened his eyes in shock. “There, you are much better this way.” Tsukiko declared, “Back to business. Dismiss forecage. Improved heightened x 42 control undead.” Redcloak’s and Xykon’s eyes began to swirl. “Now kiss me!” she ordered.
“Yeeeeessss, Mistress.” they replied.

I believe that I have to give credit to Zanaril’s old and infamous avatar for some of the inspiration. I also request that we add the acronym UACTDAAP to our vocabulary.

Oh, and I think I’m the winner when it comes to pathetic love lives. I’m 23 and have been on one…thing that one might generously call a date, that was organized by a mutual friend. Also, once when I was in primary school, a girl who claimed that she loved me (not that I ever believed her), stabbed me in the hand with a compass. (Try using that for inspiration.)

EDIT: Sorry, forgot to add, thanks Lira for the links.

What's the acronym stand for?

...YOWCH.

Sereg

2009-12-31, 01:20 PM

What's the acronym stand for?

...YOWCH.

Ultimate And Complete Total Divine And Arcane Power

I decided that asit's her fantasy,I should let her do things that she shouldn't be able to do. Including casting the spellthat she made upon the spot. (Create Perfect Undead). I'm not sure whether or not we want to know what Tsukiko's idea of the perfect undead is, but I'm assuming that it involves a large boost in dexterity and charisma.

...and thanks for the sympathy. It's almost like I was shipped with Tsukiko in real life.

CoffeeIncluded

2009-12-31, 01:23 PM

Ultimate And Complete Total Divine And Arcane Power

I decided that asit's her fantasy,I should let her do things that she shouldn't be able to do. Including casting the spellthat she made upon the spot. (Create Perfect Undead). I'm not sure whether or not we want to know what Tsukiko's idea of the perfect undead is, but I'm assuming that it involves a large boost in dexterity and charisma.

...and thanks for the sympathy. It's almost like I was shipped with Tsukiko in real life.

Ah, thanks.

And no. If you were shipped with Tsukiko in real life, you'd be typing "Brraaaaainns" every other word.

Sereg

2009-12-31, 01:27 PM

Ah, thanks.

And no. If you were shipped with Tsukiko in real life, you'd be typing "Brraaaaainns" every other word.

Lol. Maybe I would be if I hadn't escaped.

EDIT: And in case anyone's wondering, no I don't mind if you put me through some very horrible shipping experiances. Luckily for you I'll be the only one with the disturbing mental image.

CoffeeIncluded

2009-12-31, 01:31 PM

Lol. Maybe I would be if I hadn't escaped.

EDIT: And in case anyone's wondering, no I don't mind if you put me through some very horrible shipping experiances. Luckily for you I'll be the only one with the disturbing mental image.

Well, wasn't the zombie virus originally called "African rabies"? :smalltongue:

Nah, I'm not that cruel.

Sereg

2009-12-31, 01:45 PM

Well, wasn't the zombie virus originally called "African rabies"? :smalltongue:

Nah, I'm not that cruel.

It appears that you are right and the plague started in my country,in the city that I've just visisted :smalleek:. Was, that what you were reffering to?

CoffeeIncluded

2009-12-31, 01:47 PM

It appears that you are right and the plague started in my country,in the city that I've just visisted :smalleek:. Was, that what you were reffering to?

...Do you have a dog? Please tell me you have a dog. :smalleek:

Sereg

2009-12-31, 02:03 PM

...Do you have a dog? Please tell me you have a dog. :smalleek:

Um, not since I moved out. Why?

CoffeeIncluded

2009-12-31, 02:12 PM

Um, not since I moved out. Why?

Dogs are excellent zombie detectors. :smallsmile:

And to stay on topic:

Tsukiko/Eye of Fear and Flame

Thog/Soon Kim (Desert island)

Celia/Haley (American high school)

Julio/Kubota (Drunk)

V/MitD

Nathander

2009-12-31, 02:31 PM

Dogs are excellent zombie detectors. :smallsmile:

And to stay on topic:

Thog/Soon Kim (Desert island)

Celia/Haley (American high school)

Have to admit, these two are my favorite.

Also, thank you CheeseMuncher and ShinyDelusion for the kind words. It means a lot. I also liked your most recent story, Shiny. Great pictures a few pages back by the way, half-halfling and Zanaril. Sorry if this is short, I'm just trying to catch up with the rest of the thread.

Cracklord, I like the cut of your jib. You have a Hellsing avatar brutally kill Belkar. You are my new hero.

I pronounce Neil "kneel" and Nale "nail".

It's a relief to know I'm not the only one who does this.

Thor Person Guy

2009-12-31, 02:35 PM

Celia/Haley (American high school)

Doitdoitdoitdoitdoitdoitdoitdoitdoitdoit...

CoffeeIncluded

2009-12-31, 02:38 PM

It's a relief to know I'm not the only one who does this.

I do that too.

Doitdoitdoitdoitdoitdoitdoitdoitdoitdoit...

You just want girl-on-girl, right? :smalltongue: *Shakes head, rolls eyes, and sighs* Let me finish my history notes first.

CoffeeIncluded

2009-12-31, 04:02 PM

And here's some Celia/Haley for you guys out there. I added in Elan and did some experimentation with perspective here. Tell me what you guys think.

Tuesday wasn't shaping up to be a great day. My alarm clock broke and I got a C on my English test.

"Elan," the teacher said, "You've got to shape up here. You've got to spend less time in theater and band and shape up in class. You're a nice kid, but your grades aren't showing it."

I mean, I may not be the brightest guy around, but I try...

So I grabbed my guitar and went to the practice rooms to, well, practice, when I saw my girlfriend cheating on me.

Haley. Making out with someone that was not me. In the practice room.

Now, naughty things happen in the practice rooms with...Disturbing regularity, as my friend in AP Chem likes to say. Let's just say that Sabine has the practice room before me, and I don't think that sticky spot on the carpet is spilled soda...

But Haley?! Haley would never do anything like that! She may like to steal stuff from the Lost and Found bin, but she would never cheat on me! Not even with--Who is that?

Then I got a glimpse of who Haley was making out with--Slim figure, pale skin, nearly white hair, a pink butterfly barrette...Celia.

Oh man, now Roy's gonna be pissed at me; he's had his eyes on her for a while now...

"Haley!" I found myself shouting, even though it sounded more like a pathetic whimper.

At the same time, part of me was screaming "Whatcha doing, my man Elan?! This is HOT! SHUT UP!"

Haley and Celia just looked at me and blushed. "Uh...H-Hi, Elan, sweetie," Haley stammered. Celia just stood there in shock. "It...It was..."

I just felt my lower lip trembling and tried not to cry. "B-But...Haley...I thought...I thought you l-l-loved me..." No good. I felt tears streaming down my face.

This day sucked.

Then I saw Haley and Celia holding me. "No, no, no, Elan. I...I love you. I really do."

"In fact, we were waiting for you!"

"...You were what?"

Haley smiled and winked at me--Winked at the both of us, in fact. "In fact, we were waiting for you to offer you something. Wanna come over to Celia's house tonight? Her parents are out of town, if you know what I mean."

I just kinda stared off into space for a second. My perverted subconscious was throwing a huge party, popping corks off of champagne bottles and dancing naked in the streets. "...Okay," I heard myself saying.

"Perfect! See you tonight, handsome!"

"I'll get the stuff right after school! Oh, and Elan..."

"Yes?"

Haley grinned as she interrupted Celia "...Can the two of us, uhm, practice on each other? While you practice? You can watch if you want," she said while running her hands up and down her Celia's sides as Celia giggled and reached for Haley's waist.

I think I may have dislocated my jaw from that grin.
Uhm...What do you guys think?

Oh, and guess who the friend from AP Chem is. :smalltongue:

Dark Faun

2009-12-31, 04:03 PM

Someone wanted preggers Haerta, no?

http://i697.photobucket.com/albums/vv331/Discordd/OotS/VxHaerta1.png

It doesn't really show because she wears such dark clothes...

CoffeeIncluded

2009-12-31, 04:04 PM

Someone wanted preggers Haerta, no?

More pregnant pictures. :smalltongue:

It doesn't really show because she wears such dark clothes...

Now that's what I call resurrection! :smallbiggrin:

...I fear for the child. :smalleek:

...Hasn't V heard of a "Protection spell"? Or has V finally cracked from being in so many of our crack pairings?

And what did you think of my latest one?

ShinyDelusion

2009-12-31, 04:17 PM

Now that's what I call resurrection! :smallbiggrin:

...I fear for the child. :smalleek:

...Hasn't V heard of a "Protection spell"? Or has V finally cracked from being in so many of our crack pairings?

And what did you think of my latest one?

Maybe Birth Control is one of his barred schools.

:vaarsuvius: Kyrie and I never thought we'd need it!

Cute Celia/Haley/Elan, Coffee. I love how one of Elan's first thoughts when he saw it was Celia was that Roy was going to pissed at him. :smallamused:

Dark Faun

2009-12-31, 04:17 PM

...Hasn't V heard of a "Protection spell"? Or has V finally cracked from being in so many of our crack pairings?
Heh, if V wants to start a new family, he doesn't need protection. :smallwink:

And what did you think of my latest one?
Oh, I didn't see your latest post. That's just embarassing.

I liked it. It was cute and funny. You should specify who the "he" is in the second paragraph, though.

Elan truly is the luckiest member of the Order. :smalltongue:

Anyway, I'm running out of poses for my preggers pictures. That's sad.

CoffeeIncluded

2009-12-31, 04:21 PM

Oh, I didn't see your latest post. That's just embarassing.

I liked it. It was cute and funny. You should specify who the "he" is in the second paragraph, though.

Elan truly is the luckiest member of the Order. :smalltongue:

Why, thank you. :smallredface: "He" is the teacher.

Cute Celia/Haley/Elan, Coffee. I love how one of Elan's first thoughts when he saw it was Celia was that Roy was going to pissed at him. :smallamused:

Isn't that just like Elan, though?

ShinyDelusion

2009-12-31, 04:23 PM

Isn't that just like Elan, though?

Yeah, that's why I liked it. I was like: d'Aww! He would think that!

Dark Faun

2009-12-31, 04:24 PM

He'd also invite Roy, too.

CoffeeIncluded

2009-12-31, 04:28 PM

He'd also invite Roy, too.

So now it's Haley/Celia/Elan/Roy?

...Why do I get this distinct feeling that this may have actually happened? I mean, Celia isn't exactly subtle, and look at where Haley's willing to go at it! :smallbiggrin:

Dark Faun

2009-12-31, 04:33 PM

It was Haley's plan all along: incite Elan to invite Roy so that she can get the both of them all the while proving that she's better than Celia. :smallamused:

Cracklord

2009-12-31, 04:36 PM

Not so strongly agianst but more of just cannot bring myself to write so.

But here is an example of my torture talents:
:sabine: Use whatever she isnt immume to nials to nail her horns to something moving quickly. Then attach both her feet (Using scimtars of corse) to the floor. Then cover the whole floor while the metal sandpaper (Lets say cold iron) and have the fast moving thing move. If her horns break off then about 40 at a time pull her hiar out. If her feet will cutthoght first then she will drag along and sandpaper away most of her skin. If this works play hopskotch with her muscular thingies. Either way tear away her teath one by one and then make her eat magnitzed neadles (Non Cold Iron) then make the needles follow a magnet oround until her organs are pulp. puor into her skull and enjoy.

Pfffffffttttttt.
Amateur.
You don't need all that stuff. Any real torturer can amaze you with a single knife.
Funny story, while experimenting with alternate means of torture, a man was forced to watch Beverley Hills chihuahua thirteen times consecutively, with no sleep or respite.
He was in tears.

Cracklord, I like the cut of your jib. You have a Hellsing avatar brutally kill Belkar. You are my new hero.

Plus I run massive roleplay sessions on this site while all involved kill the Twilight characters, don't forget that.

ShinyDelusion

2009-12-31, 04:36 PM

On a random (but not entirely off-topic) note, I wish fanfiction could qualify as a writing sample for college applications. Instead I'm stuck trying to fill a couple double-spaced pages in response to "Our academic environment is built on the various cultural backgrounds of our students. What perspective can you add to this environment?" What I'd give to get away with responding, "Look, if I get in my parents won't be paying you to improve your reputation for diversity, and I'm a middle-class white kid anyway, so forget it."

CoffeeIncluded

2009-12-31, 04:37 PM

It was Haley's plan all along: incite Elan to invite Roy so that she can get the both of them all the while proving that she's better than Celia. :smallamused:

So do you think that they actually waited to get home, or did Elan just, uhm, decide not to practice that day?

Fun Fact: One my best friends, who goes to a different school in a different state, also has the soundproofed-music-practice-rooms. Someone got pregnant in there.

half-halfling

2009-12-31, 04:39 PM

Discord -I like this picture -they really look like happy family :smallsmile:. I wonder what their child will be like.

ShinyDelusion

2009-12-31, 04:42 PM

So do you think that they actually waited to get home, or did Elan just, uhm, decide not to practice that day?

Fun Fact: One my best friends, who goes to a different school in a different state, also has the soundproofed-music-practice-rooms. Someone got pregnant in there.

I think you've mentioned that before. What's a little distressing is that my school's Fine Art building has those too, so I've learned that those rooms generally aren't completely soundproof...

CoffeeIncluded

2009-12-31, 04:45 PM

I think you've mentioned that before. What's a little distressing is that my school's Fine Art building has those too, so I've learned that those rooms generally aren't completely soundproof...

I have? Whoops. :smallredface:

...Oh dear God.

...How loud were they? :smalleek:

ShinyDelusion

2009-12-31, 04:48 PM

I have? Whoops. :smallredface:

...Oh dear God.

...How loud were they? :smalleek:

I heard every word, and oh, there were many, many, words...

Psyche! I know this because I was practicing piccolo in one room one day while some choir boys were practicing in another. I only remember because I hate it when I know people can hear me practicing, especially picc.

CoffeeIncluded

2009-12-31, 04:52 PM

I heard every word, and oh, there were many, many, words...

Psyche! I know this because I was practicing piccolo in one room one day while some choir boys were practicing in another. I only remember because I hate it when I know people can hear me practicing, especially picc.

Oh. Well, that's good. Dammit, there goes a perfect plot device...