falconflicker
2010-01-03, 12:39 PM
So, last night in our group's D&D campaign, we ran into a battle. Nothing special at the surface, just a giant spider. But it quickly went horribly, horribly, wrong. And hilarious.
The party consists of six characters played by three people (yes we're a bit lacking in players): a drow warlock (who has a grudge against spiders), a Dragonborn paladin (who does NOT have a stick class feature), a klutzy and deluded Eladrin wizard (who is actually secretly a goody-goody necromancer, but don't tell the Holies), a Tiefling bard (who tends to keep to herself), a half-elf cleric of Pelor (our other "Holy"), and a human ranger.
First off, when we were rolling initiative, the ranger critically failed. The DM ruled that he started the battle dazed due to an ongoing magical... issue. (He was in the process of changing race.) First round, first turn, the warlock goes to use Witchfire (an encounter power) and critically fails again. He ended up blasting the unfortunate cleric of the group, who threatened to thwack him for it. The rest of the round was spent whiffing every single move (even the spider failed).
Second round, the warlock tries a simple Eldritch Blast... and critically fails a second time in a row. The DM ruled that the blast hit a stalactite, which then fell and hit the spider, doing the first bit of damage to it in the battle, despite having previously been incinerated with acetelyne (long story). Next turn, the paladin tries to go. He tries a standard at-will, missed, got frustrated and tried a Dragonbreath. He then proceeded to critically fail on that, too. Since he was an acid-using Dragonborn, it was ruled that he ended up half-swallowing, half-vomiting instead. There was a puddle of acid left on the floor at his feet. Third and fourth turns of that round, we finally got a couple of real (not DM pity) hits in, for pitiful damage.
The third and final round started with the warlock again. The spider had jumped (and missed), and was now standing fairly close to the warlock. So, he stepped towards it and unleashed Otherwind Stride, and finally rolled a natural 20, a critical hit. He also rolled max damage on every die for 26 damage, when it only had 20 HP left.
So, to recap, there were only four actual solid hits the whole battle, all of them on our side (the spider never landed a hit).
Do any of you have any good stories of extremely bad luck?
The party consists of six characters played by three people (yes we're a bit lacking in players): a drow warlock (who has a grudge against spiders), a Dragonborn paladin (who does NOT have a stick class feature), a klutzy and deluded Eladrin wizard (who is actually secretly a goody-goody necromancer, but don't tell the Holies), a Tiefling bard (who tends to keep to herself), a half-elf cleric of Pelor (our other "Holy"), and a human ranger.
First off, when we were rolling initiative, the ranger critically failed. The DM ruled that he started the battle dazed due to an ongoing magical... issue. (He was in the process of changing race.) First round, first turn, the warlock goes to use Witchfire (an encounter power) and critically fails again. He ended up blasting the unfortunate cleric of the group, who threatened to thwack him for it. The rest of the round was spent whiffing every single move (even the spider failed).
Second round, the warlock tries a simple Eldritch Blast... and critically fails a second time in a row. The DM ruled that the blast hit a stalactite, which then fell and hit the spider, doing the first bit of damage to it in the battle, despite having previously been incinerated with acetelyne (long story). Next turn, the paladin tries to go. He tries a standard at-will, missed, got frustrated and tried a Dragonbreath. He then proceeded to critically fail on that, too. Since he was an acid-using Dragonborn, it was ruled that he ended up half-swallowing, half-vomiting instead. There was a puddle of acid left on the floor at his feet. Third and fourth turns of that round, we finally got a couple of real (not DM pity) hits in, for pitiful damage.
The third and final round started with the warlock again. The spider had jumped (and missed), and was now standing fairly close to the warlock. So, he stepped towards it and unleashed Otherwind Stride, and finally rolled a natural 20, a critical hit. He also rolled max damage on every die for 26 damage, when it only had 20 HP left.
So, to recap, there were only four actual solid hits the whole battle, all of them on our side (the spider never landed a hit).
Do any of you have any good stories of extremely bad luck?