Funniest bumper stickers you've ever seen

[golentan]

Hey, I was just wondering what some of your favorite comedic bumper stickers were.

My favorites have been

"God invented Beer to keep construction workers from ruling the world" on a 40s era truck without an undented surface on it.

"If this bumper sticker is blue, you're going too fast" Red bumper sticker.

"Professional Werewolf hunter: Pay me 5 bucks and never see another lycanthrope."

"I'm flattered, but the back seat's too small" on a Smart Car.

[Krade]

I really wish I was making this one up:

"Kids who hunt, trap, and fish don't steal purses from little old ladies. They go to school and shoot all thier friends."

So... yeah.

[KuReshtin]

I had one that made a reference to Dirk Gently's Zen navigation technique:

"Don't follow me, I'm lost too!"

[golentan]

I had one that made a reference to Dirk Gently's Zen navigation technique:

"Don't follow me, I'm lost too!"

I use that navigation method all the time!

[KuReshtin]

I use that navigation method all the time!

So do I. It works a remarkable amount of times.

[Keshay]

For me: "Proud Parent of a Middle School Honor Student"

Seriously, its laughable that anyone would be so deluded as to think anyone else would care about their child's academic acheivements in Middle School.

That and the backs/sides of cars that are literally covered with crap. We get it, you're passionate about lots of stuff and you have the inexplicable need to express your supposed "individuality" through your bumper sticker because you can't possibly bear to be "ordinary"... Or maybe that was just the one chick I knew back in college.

[blackfox]

">Political party here< for Voldemort" is pretty popular around my hometown, as is "My horse bucked off your honor student."

[Bouregard]

Keep Honking, I'm Reloading


Seen on a picture.

The message you have entered is too short. Please lengthen your message to at least 10 characters.

[PairO'Dice Lost]

My car has two,

"Be nice to nerds--chances are you'll end up working for one!"

and

"My other transport is the Millennium Falcon"

while my sister's car has

"Don't steal; the government hates competition"

[reorith]

About a year ago, l made 20 bumper stickers that read "honk if you like something really messed up " and slapped them on random cars in the mall parking lot.

[Pyrian]

"Welcome to reality. Now go home."

"To Hooters or Bust!"

[Icewalker]

Must say, I'm a fan of "Unmarked police car"

[Keshay]

About a year ago, l made 20 bumper stickers that read "honk if you like something really messed up " and slapped them on random cars in the mall parking lot.

Vandalism is fun!!

[CDR_Doom]

I saw one on a motorcycle in my university's parking lot that said "hippies are more upset about people wearing fur than leather because it's easier to yell at rich ladies than at biker gangs.":smallamused:

[Mystic Muse]

My mom apparently saw one that said "I'm not a geek, I'm a thirteenth level Paladin!"

[Warpfire]

Vandalism is fun!!

Well yeah that's kind of the point.

[_Zoot_]

I'll second the:

'Keep Honking, I'm Reloading'

as the funniest that I have seen.

[Thatguyoverther]

The best one I can remember is

"My kid beats up your honor student for lunch money."

[Zocelot]

I've seen a ton of stickers over the years, and written down a lot of them. I'll post a lengthy list of my favorites later tonight.

[The Extinguisher]

"If this bumper sticker is blue, you're going too fast" Red bumper sticker.


I lolled.

Also, there's this (http://www.topatoco.com/graphics/00000001/won-honorsticker.jpg).

[Anuan]

"John Hunt is a Coward."

You'll get it if you're Australian, otherwise, probably not.

Also "Don't Honk, it upsets the voices."
Often accompanied by "Please don't, I'm running out of places to hide the bodies"

[dangerprawn]

"It's hard to be humble when you're Scottish."

[Zocelot]

I've seen a ton of stickers over the years, and written down a lot of them. I'll post a lengthy list of my favorites later tonight.

Hmm, I took a look and a lot of them are actually pretty stupid when I reread them.

The only mildly good one was "My child sold your honours student the answers to the test".

[Moff Chumley]

"My other car isn't funny, either"

[MethosH]

"My car isn't broken, I'm just drunk" :smalltongue:

[Voldecanter]

I really wish I was making this one up:

"Kids who hunt, trap, and fish don't steal purses from little old ladies. They go to school and shoot all thier friends."

So... yeah.

I knew a whole family of rural country trappers who used this as a kind of moto for their children .

[CMOTDibbler]

My dad's car has one that reads:

"If they outlaw guns, can we use swords?"

It's one of my favorites.

[Moff Chumley]

That's pretty great.

So is your avvie, for the record. :smallsmile:

[CMOTDibbler]

Another of my favorites.
http://www.veryhappypig.com/page/funny-bumper-stickers-10.jpg

@^: Thank you, Mr. Chumley. :smallcool::smallbiggrin:

[thubby]

"will brake for tailgaters" on the thoroughly mangled rear end of a pickup.

[SurlySeraph]

Keep honking, I'm reloading.[/I]

Beat me to it. My second-favorite is "Horn broken, watch for finger." There are a lot of political ones I've seen that I love, but... well...

Oh, fine. One of them is:

KEEP AMERICA SAFE
(from witches)
[CANDIDATE] 2012

There's also an online version (don't know if there's a real one) that's [CANDIDATE] 2012. The world is supposed end, anyway.

[St.Sinner]

"Blasphemy is a victimless crime"

[Cobra_Ikari]

"Blasphemy is a victimless crime"

It suits you. =)

[Zeb The Troll]

My favorite, unfortunately, is not board appropriate. By and large, though, I like the ones that have in-jokes that I get.

[smellie_hippie]

In cut out newsprint letters:
"I love animals. They taste good."

[St.Sinner]

It suits you. =)

Yes, indeed. Too bad I didn't come up with it!

[ghost_warlock]

"Discourge inbreeding - ban country music."

One I had on my old car:
"Buckle up - it makes it harder for aliens to suck you out of your car"
(purchased at the alien watch tower near Alamosa, Colorado).

[Archonic Energy]

"If this bumper sticker is blue, you're going too fast" Red bumper sticker.


i want one of these!

[Supagoof]

I saw this one on the front bumper of a car.

TI 3VOM.

It didn't click at first, but later I figured out it's best to be looked at through the rearview mirror on your car. And of course, it was an E rather then a 3, but for visual effect on the boards the 3 works well.

[Zom B]

"I found salivation through cheeses." (say it out loud)

Not exactly a bumper sticker, but we had a custom onesie printed for our newborn (back when she was one) that said "+1 Baby of Cuteness". We still have it.

[Mary Leathert]

We don't actually have bumper stickers here in Finland. So I'll tell what my favorite badge says. Understanding it requires some knowledge of Finnish, but I'll explain (whitened, so that people not wanting jokes explained to them can try to figure it out on their own).

The text is: "Wizards invented nordic walking", and it is in English on the badge. Joke is, "nordic walking" is literally "staff walking" in Finnish. Nordic walking is really popular here among older people.

[Moff Chumley]

Ooh, that reminds me of something. "Hello, I'm taking a survey. Are you Dutch? Are you Swedish? Are you Icelandic? Are you British? Are you Japanese? Are you Finnish? Well I am, good by."

[The_JJ]

I knew someone with a "Vote Cthullu! Why Settle for the Lesser of Two Evils" and a few roleplay things. "Car of +4 Holiness" or something like that. Something about LARPing too...

[Yrcrazypa]

One that I've always found funny is
My other ride is your mom, or some variation of it. Immature? Yes, but it still makes me laugh.

[Moff Chumley]

THIS! :smallbiggrin:

[Nehh]

On a Porsche 911: My other car is also a Porsche 911.

Also: Meat is murder. Tasty murder.

[Extra_Crispy]

A friend of mine had on his toyota pickup truck. "Where am I going and why am I in this hand basket"

I have one that I never put on a car
"He is your god, they are your rules, you burn in hell"

Of course the old favorite
"Do not mettle in the affairs of dragons for you are crunchy and taste good with katchup"

[PairO'Dice Lost]

Of course the old favorite
"Do not mettle in the affairs of dragons for you are crunchy and taste good with katchup"

And its obligatory twin "Do not meddle in the affairs of wizards, for you are highly flammable and conduct electricity."

[Purple Rose]

A friend of mine purchases these in bulk (http://www.iparklikeanidiot.com/) and uses them often to raise awareness in other people about their inability to park.

[Krade]

A friend of mine purchases these in bulk (http://www.iparklikeanidiot.com/) and uses them often to raise awareness in other people about their inability to park.

While hilarious, that is technically vandalism and thus, not really a terribly good idea. I much prefer the 'parking ticket' variety of increasing awareness of Parkingson's Disease (Also known as HPS, Horrible Parking Syndrome).

A lot of those pictures were pretty good too, but the fact that at least most of them were Photoshopped (and quite poorly, I might add) took a lot away from the awesomeness.

[cho_j]

Best I've ever seen in person is "What if the hokey pokey really IS what it's all about?"

[RandomNPC]

My wife has
"pog mo thoin
(kis my Irish...)"
on the back of her car, but the best i've seen was up between
"Tailgaiters will be Toad" with the picture of a toad on it. and
"Look out for the idiot behind me!"

[Minstrel Cowboy]

The best one I can remember is

"My kid beats up your honor student for lunch money."

That first one made my day.

[Firestar27]

I like the xkcd "ACTUAL SIZE" stickers myself...
Although sticking them on cars isn't the intended purpose (because that really is the actual size), it seems oddly fitting to put it on something to state the obvious...

[Yardo]

"Just you wait till i'm all grown up!" on the back of one of those tiny digging machines we have here.

[Solaris]

I'll second the:

'Keep Honking, I'm Reloading'

as the funniest that I have seen.

Thirded.


"Just you wait till i'm all grown up!" on the back of one of those tiny digging machines we have here.

Aww. That's cute.
You heard me. I just said that. The world is ending.

Back in Iraq, I kept trying to stick bumper stickers on the MRAP. My personal favorite was one of the yellow 'support our troops' ribbons (though technically a bumper magnet... and on the back door because armor isn't magnetic). The irony was delicious.
As is the irony of such a sticker being a less-than-permanent magnet.

[Kurien]

I must not be on the road/parking lots often, for I never see bumper stickers.
Some of above quotes are pretty funny, though.

[Emperor Ing]

These latest PETA (http://rlv.zcache.com/people_eating_tasty_animals_bumper_sticker-p128274798582813101trl0_400.jpg) stickers are quite humerous.

[OverdrivePrime]

Headin out of a roller derby match, I saw a pretty sweet pickup truck driven by a cute, pixieish woman with spiked hair: "My Other Ride Is Your Mom".
Gotta love those roller derby gals! :smallbiggrin:

[Moff Chumley]

My friend has a shirt that says "Your Girlfriend is my Epic Mount." :smallbiggrin:

[PJ the Epic]

Personally, I have 3

#1: I'm going to live forever or die trying!

#2: Come on! Gimme the finger like you meen it!

#3: (Seen upside-down on a car) If this is readable, please flip me over.

[golentan]

Back in Iraq, I kept trying to stick bumper stickers on the MRAP. My personal favorite was one of the yellow 'support our troops' ribbons (though technically a bumper magnet... and on the back door because armor isn't magnetic). The irony was delicious.
As is the irony of such a sticker being a less-than-permanent magnet.

Well, what would an MRAP do but support its troops? It would be a pretty silly design if it couldn't handle the weight of the passengers.

Okay, some new ones I saw which I enjoyed.

"My car is like my sex life: It's got a powerful drive, and nowhere to go."

"Take us to your leader." My friend has reserved one of these, (http://www.aptera.com/look.php) and got the bumper sticker preemptively.

[Coatl Ruu]

"I childproofed the house, but they still got in." I'm also a fan of the Cthulhu fish.

[Moff Chumley]

"Take us to your leader." My friend has reserved one of these, (http://www.aptera.com/look.php) and got the bumper sticker preemptively.

WANT :smallbiggrin:

[Fuzzie Fuzz]

"Jesus loves you, but I'm his favorite."

[Ravens_cry]

I own this one, though I don't own a car.
'Jesus Saves, And Takes Half Damage.'

[Lioness]

I own this one, though I don't own a car.
'Jesus Saves, And Takes Half Damage.'

Awesome. I want.

[Yarram]

I've heard of one that goes,
"We are slightly disappointed in our B- credit, average child."

[_Zoot_]

"EARTH FIRST!

We'll screw up the other planets latter"

[Quincunx]

Found it, and to my surprise it is forum-legal: Hate Is Not A Family Value.

[potatocubed]

"My other vehicle is the mahayana."

[Thiel]

The funniest one I have seen was that "Keep Honking, I'm Reloading" on the rear of a Danish Leopard 2A5 DK.

[Rattine]

I had a few on my old car, some were political, and I also had one that I got in Florida that said:
"Clear the road! I'm 16!" lol!

[Zen Monkey]

"My other vehicle is the mahayana."

I've seen this one too, sadly I know nobody else that gets the joke.
(Including my theology students :smallannoyed:)

[Zeb The Troll]

I've seen this one too, sadly I know nobody else that gets the joke.
(Including my theology students :smallannoyed:)*doesn't get the joke*

[golentan]

*doesn't get the joke*

The word translates as "Great Vehicle," and is one of two major branches of buddhist philosophy.

[Zeb The Troll]

The word translates as "Great Vehicle," and is one of two major branches of buddhist philosophy.:smalltongue: Okay, that's funny. Thanks for explanation.

[golentan]

That reminds me of another one I saw, actually. "I believe the universe is Catholic, by definition."

Edit: Just to clarify, Catholic means Universal, hence the gag.

[starwoof]

I saw a bumper sticker that said:

Guns don't kill people
People with mustaches do.

[Logalmier]

I recently saw one that said:

"Don't drive faster than your Guardian Angel can fly."