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View Full Version : examples of wish perversion that occured to you



taltamir
2010-01-15, 08:54 PM
I am curious about people's real game wish perversion...
please share the stories of how your wishes got perverted (or how they did not)...
only rule is that those have to be wishes that you saw being used in an actual game, so no WOTC examples of how you SHOULD pervert wishes... but examples of actual perverted wishes. please also share whether you were the PC who made the wish, the DM who perverted it, or just someone who observed a wish get perverted

Duos Greanleef
2010-01-15, 08:56 PM
I wished for a pervert once...
He watched my tent at night.
:smallamused:

ok, not really... but I couldn't resist... sorry.

taltamir
2010-01-15, 09:01 PM
oh god >.<
that is not what I meant by "perverted wish"... lol :)

Jack_Simth
2010-01-15, 09:10 PM
A wizard who had been killed, looted (by NPC's) and then raised by the party Wished to have all the stuff they had an hour ago appear in front of them.

She was in the middle of a city.

She neglected to exempt the clothes she was wearing.

Swordgleam
2010-01-15, 09:14 PM
"What do you wish for?" "I'd like a little time to think about that."

What do you think happened?

Myani
2010-01-16, 10:25 AM
My wizard used a potion of wish to send an invading army back to its capital to give us some time to figure out how to stop the war (we were ostensibly the diplomatic mission carrying a message between the two kingdoms).

End result:

Every warrior that had ever fought for that kingdom got sent back to the capital, including the dead ones. The spell was kind enough to animate them, too!

This wizard has serious issues with making his will saves against the plight of distraught refugees.

Grumman
2010-01-16, 10:51 AM
The first DM I played under was just the sort of jerk that would take it as open season against your character, so I've never used Wish for anything but Inherent bonuses.

Jack_Simth's story is a good one, I think: literal and it does what the player wished for, but sufficiently "off" to encourage greater care in the future.

Swordgleam's might be okay, but it sounds like the DM might have been using an out of character comment against her.

Myani's is just the DM being a jerk.

Vizzerdrix
2010-01-16, 10:56 AM
The first DM I played under was just the sort of jerk that would take it as open season against your character, so I've never used Wish for anything but Inherent bonuses.

Jack_Simth's story is a good one, I think: literal and it does what the player wished for, but sufficiently "off" to encourage greater care in the future.

Swordgleam's might be okay, but it sounds like the DM might have been using an out of character comment against her.

Myani's is just the DM being a jerk.

This +1

I've flat out refused wishes twice in games.

taltamir
2010-01-16, 11:04 AM
I have been warned that even making inherant bonus wishes is not safe by some DMs... my reply was to simply refuse to ever use a wish...
"roll for extra power or death" is only "worth" it for a first level character you haven't bothered writing a back story for.

Myani
2010-01-16, 05:16 PM
Myani's is just the DM being a jerk.

Eh, to be fair I suggested it once he said that the wish was outside of standard usage. I (the player) thought it was a bad idea to begin with, and kinda hoped that my wizard had misidentified the potion. Still, those refugees got their homes back!

And to be clear, the newly-undead army that popped up became a non-issue; the country in question was a theocracy dominated by the church of a LG paladin god. If anything, it just caused everyone to foul their pants :smallbiggrin:

Ravens_cry
2010-01-16, 05:46 PM
In my first campaign we encountered a prismatic wall. We didn't have all the spells needed to pass through safely, and we had no way of going back to town in time, so our sorceress, our primary arcane spell caster, used one of her deal with a devil granted wishes for a rod of cancellation. The DM gave her one that she THOUGHT worked. Quite possibly in-character for a devil, but without a working one, it would mean the campaign ended right there and then, because no one was going to risk death the green layer.

kemmotar
2010-01-16, 05:50 PM
Depending on the DM, you can use the wish....if the DM wants to pervert the wish for game purposes I guess that's fine...if the DM wants to actually turn the wish against you either say no or say that you'll make your wish next session, in the meantime write up a very specific and very long contract specifically interpreting every single possible thing that could or could not be misinterpreted...

I actually did something similar once...the DM was going to give us a wish, though I didn't write it down I was the last person to make the wish while everyone else was thinking I took the time to assume that the DM would pervert my wish. Though the power I asked for was at will teleportation without error it took about 15 minutes to explain exactly how I wanted it to work, when, why, trigger and whatever else I could possibly think of...The DM tried to pervert the wish through my own words and utterly failed, I tried to use it and he told me something happened, I reminded him of a stipulation or another at which point he would try to think up something else...He then flat out refused to grant my wish saying it was beyond the power of the caster to grant it:smalltongue:

though it isn't exactly a perverted wish story, it might be a bit relevant...

One thing to actually watch out for is whether the person/npc/monster granting the wish is actually granting the witch exactly as stipulated...chaotic creatures might grant the wish but not stick to the wording, just make it seem that it works as intended with some fault or other...I'm planning to actually make a game just to include that in there...heh

Doc Roc
2010-01-16, 05:54 PM
Okay, so normally? I just roll with wishes. Someone spent serious opportunity to cast one, maybe they should get the thing they actually need right now to solve whatever problem I threw at them.

I feel like, unless its outside the list specified, or a true campaign wrecker, there's no need for perversion. And in those cases, I think it's better to discuss things with a player. It's a horrible thing to wish for an item you need desperately, blow the xp, the gold, and then the spell slot and get.....


A lemon. Awesome, guys, awesome. Take those nasty wizards down a peg!
This is why people hate our hobby.

Claudius Maximus
2010-01-16, 06:05 PM
By far the worst example I've ever head was a wish a friend of mine made. Her character wished to be twice as fast, so naturally she became millions of times as fast, becoming stuck in a permanent Time Stop until she died.

taltamir
2010-01-16, 06:54 PM
By far the worst example I've ever head was a wish a friend of mine made. Her character wished to be twice as fast, so naturally she became millions of times as fast, becoming stuck in a permanent Time Stop until she died.

and this is why the spell is called suicide.
I would have given her a haste effect that lasts for 2 months. with every slow / dispel suppressing it for 1d4 rounds and reducing the duration by a day.

Myou
2010-01-16, 08:28 PM
By far the worst example I've ever head was a wish a friend of mine made. Her character wished to be twice as fast, so naturally she became millions of times as fast, becoming stuck in a permanent Time Stop until she died.

Wow, so many horrible DMs.

I'd have just double all her movement speeds. Hardly broken.

Tyndmyr
2010-01-16, 08:36 PM
A wizard who had been killed, looted (by NPC's) and then raised by the party Wished to have all the stuff they had an hour ago appear in front of them.

She was in the middle of a city.

She neglected to exempt the clothes she was wearing.

This is hilarious.

I *love* screwing with wishes in such a way. Extremely literal interpretations are great fun. The best perversions should always be things that result in players going "ahhh, yeah, that would make sense".



In the case of people asking things vastly beyond the power of wish, I feel that the wish should attempt to complete the request so far as is able. For example, in the case of the wish for at-will teleport without error, the wish giving a magical item with a x/day teleport use would be a good example. The wish doesn't actively try to screw the player over....it simply takes the extremely literal request, and fulfills it to the best of it's ability. Poorly thought out wording makes hilarity result.

Slayn82
2010-01-16, 08:59 PM
Once, playing 2nd edition, a friend received a wish, and asked to become immortal. He was playing a mage.

The DM made him become a Lich. Yay. He got more inteligence. Double yay.But he was a festering Lich, with a smell so foul, that reduced that characther charisma half. And no measure we could take would remove the smell. And anyone that kept too much time around him got ramdom diseases.

So, his characther had to stay always a few meters behind the party, and we had to make a lot of Healing checks. And he never could enter towns.

RandomNPC
2010-01-16, 11:13 PM
I don't have a good story to add here, just another question regarding wish and use.

Has anyone had a DM try to hide the fact it was a wish?

What I'm planning is a magic item that asks characters what they want, but only when they have an immediate need. Basicly an inteligent ring of three wishes, but it doesn't have to be a ring.

The inspiration? Green Lantern, when Hal Jordan got the blue ring stuck on his hand.
Blue Ring: What do you hope for?
Hal Jordan: World Peace!
Blue: insincerity detected.
Hal:Grrr...
Blue: What do you hope for?
Hal: I hope you stop asking me that if we get out of here alive!
Blue: sincerity detected.
Hal: You've got to be kidding me.
Blue: *saves the day and flies off to find a new person*

Tyndmyr
2010-01-17, 12:33 AM
Once, playing 2nd edition, a friend received a wish, and asked to become immortal. He was playing a mage.

The DM made him become a Lich. Yay. He got more inteligence. Double yay.But he was a festering Lich, with a smell so foul, that reduced that characther charisma half. And no measure we could take would remove the smell. And anyone that kept too much time around him got ramdom diseases.

So, his characther had to stay always a few meters behind the party, and we had to make a lot of Healing checks. And he never could enter towns.

Seriously, being a lich is already enough of a problem without adding additional downsides. I dont remember the exact details under 2nd ed, but socially, they've always had problems with society.

Jarawara
2010-01-17, 12:50 AM
The DM tried to pervert the wish through my own words and utterly failed, I tried to use it and he told me something happened, I reminded him of a stipulation or another at which point he would try to think up something else...He then flat out refused to grant my wish saying it was beyond the power of the caster to grant it. :smalltongue:

See now this is just DM jerkiness. If you're going to try to twist the wish to horrible degrees, and they find a way past all of your evil ploys, then they've earned the wish.

On a related note, I hate it when DM's put a wish or similar risk into the game, solely to mess with the players. It's "the only way to win is not to play" mentality. Especially if you keep doing it over and over, hoping to get someone to bite, possibly because you had nothing else going on.

Case in point:

I had this one DM once tell me that in her games "Magic items are like adventures in themselves. You don't just get some random +1 thing, you get a wonderous and dangerous experience". Okay... I can see that. So let's start the adventure....

First up, we are hired to send an important item to a neighboring nobleman. We are told "Do not open the box under any circumstance." We begin the trip, and DM says "So, who opens the box?"

After a bit of prodding and nudging, we open the box, to find a Deck of Many Things. 1st adventure, 1st level characters. DM says "So who draws first?"

Mucho hesitation arises, uncertainty, and besides, we're lawful and were told not to open the box (which we already did, but we can at least close it again). We decline, deliver the box, and are paid.

2nd adventure... my memory is hazy, but it involved a similar nature, we were offered a benefit with a risk involved. It would have been ok had it been as a reward for an adventure, but there had not been an adventure. This *was* the adventure. We collectively decided that the reward was not worth the risk, and we declined.

Still haven't really done anything yet. So on to 3rd 'adventure'.

We meet a Wizard who dispenses wishes for free. DM says "So what'll it be, and who's first?"

Same hesitation as before, but Dave decides to risk his luck. He picks out an item he knew of from the DMG, and then in painstaking detail describes exactly what it can and cannot do, what it looks like, what it's intended for, every little detail, and can he have one of those please?

DM is irritated at Dave for not being creative, just picking something off the lists, and not roleplaying (and he wouldn't know of that anyway). I can't remember what the result was, I think the wizard simply ignored Dave.

But, seeing that clearly this game was going nowhere, I decided to try a wish, and stuck to character (that would be Jarath, previously mentioned in the DMPC pages). Jarath doesn't really want to be an adventurer, he wants peace and quiet and a little place to call his own. He never can seem to get it. So on inspiration, I figure that maybe I could take a little bit of home with me, wherever I go. I wish for a little cottage, with a small garden, pigs, chickens, a bed and a warm fire, but have all that be somehow portable, maybe in an extradimensional space or maybe some way I could teleport there and back whenever I have time.

Now I could see how that could be abused, but I didn't intend it to be. Just a little piece of warmth and happiness in the craziness of adventuring life.

DM thinks just a moment, and says "Give me your character sheet."

"Huh?", I say. "Why?"

DM says: "You were just teleported to Baba Yaga's Hut. And she was there. Give me your character sheet, you're dead."

I did not. I left the group. I used DM's plot armor to bring Jarath back for the next gaming group I joined. (See, players can have that too!) I mean, jeez, she has nothing to her game except for 'magic items that create their own adventures', nobody wants to bite, and when somebody finally plays along, BANG, character is dead.

*~*

What I should have wished for:

"I wish I had a better DM"

ShadowFighter15
2010-01-17, 03:18 AM
Story about crazy DM

Okay, that... I feel stupider just for reading that.:smalleek:

Don't have any stories myself (never been in a game of a high enough level), but I wonder at why a DM would pervert a wish to the degrees of the stories in this thread and similar previous ones. I can understand if they want something game-breaking or that would kill the fun of a campaign, but if they ask for something reasonable, just give it to them. If it's an expensive item or piece of equipment, just take it out of their future rewards til their Wealth-By-Level is about right.

TheCountAlucard
2010-01-17, 05:15 AM
One time I was running a game, and a player thought I was going to screw him over with an offered wish from an artifact.

Really, I wasn't going to. I swear.

He took a gold piece out of his pouch, and wished for the gold piece to be made of platinum.

I find it funny that the net gain for the wish he made was roughly nine gold pieces.

olentu
2010-01-17, 05:22 AM
One time I was running a game, and a player thought I was going to screw him over with an offered wish from an artifact.

Really, I wasn't going to. I swear.

He took a gold piece out of his pouch, and wished for the gold piece to be made of platinum.

I find it funny that the net gain for the wish he made was roughly nine gold pieces.

Well at least he did not end up made of platinum (and also die).

ondonaflash
2010-01-17, 05:28 AM
Muzzinfrazzin wish... Made the gimmen hoven sword too small!

BobVosh
2010-01-17, 05:39 AM
I woulda given you baba yaga's hut (it was what I was thinking of when I read your wish). No strings attached, unless it ran very late game and I felt like throwing a witch like villain at you for stealing her favorite summer home.

Stupid DM is stupid.

Anyway worst/best wish I have ever had the pleasure of doing: 2ed thief, about level 10 I believe (2ed, we all gained and lost levels like changing clothes) we learned of a dragon in a cave terrorizing the countryside. Being the good sort we are, we decided to go take a quick peek in the dirty lizards cave. Invisibility on me, and I wander on in. Sneaky sneaky, find the stinky flying lizard (a black in the cave, for whatever reason), on top of his mound of gold/stuff. I came out, explained what was going on in there.

Plan A: Our main tactic, we enlarge the fighter and barbarian, they go in and say Hi. I break invisibility and sneak attack it. Proceed to burn/stab until nothing is left to burn or stab. I end up going second after the barbarian did a mighty swath into it. My vorpal dagger lopped its head off. The DM cries. It never even did a single thing. I immediatly jump into the horde and grab some stuff. I asked what jewelery there was, and found a crown and a ring. I said "I wish we could do that again." Stupid bloody ring was a ring of wishes with 1 wish....it casts true resurrection on the dragon. All our buffs are gone, and it murdered half the party.

He even showed us the stupid loot list and that was the only ring on the whole thing. He didn't lie or cheat.

Myou
2010-01-17, 11:03 AM
One time I was running a game, and a player thought I was going to screw him over with an offered wish from an artifact.

Really, I wasn't going to. I swear.

He took a gold piece out of his pouch, and wished for the gold piece to be made of platinum.

I find it funny that the net gain for the wish he made was roughly nine gold pieces.

The platinum is also on fire.

The fire is also on fire.


But actually, were I the DM, I'd have just flat out told him he could wish for more than that.

Lord-Elfington
2010-01-17, 11:53 AM
My fiance was running her first campain for some of our friends. We started out as level one characters out to save a dying god, the usual, but to aid us on our quest we were each granted a wish that could be used at any time. We ended up traveling through frozen mountains by about our third session and a few level gains later and had to fight some type of frost atronachs/elementals. This led to our paladin quitly musing to himself (i don't know to this day if it was intened as OOC) "I wish I had Something on fire . . ." O.o

Our dm exploded to her feet in a storm of dice and loose leaf paper describing how his sword immediately lit up with lurid flames. "OH SWEE . . . oh". She's a nice dm and was not only kind enough to not make the on fire thing his jock strap but instead turn his mstw bastard sword into a +1 flaming burst one.

While not quite a perversion in every sense still the look on his face from his unintentional comment was priceless.

Jergmo
2010-01-17, 01:47 PM
I perverted a wish in my last campaign, but they'd already gotten two and got lovely results from 'em so they didn't care. They had managed to defeat an Efreeti bandit and his gang in battle, and granted them wishes so that he wouldn't die.

The first wish turned the party leader's halberd into a +5 Holy weapon.
The other turned every piece of non-magical equipment, throughout their entire remaining expedition, into magical items.

All the armor, shields, weapons, etc. turned into +1 magical items.

For the third, they decided to pool ideas together and created a really long list of things the whole party wanted, wrote "We want everything on this list.", showed it to the Efreeti, and said "I wish this were true."

Efreeti laughs, and Plane Shifts.

taltamir
2010-01-17, 03:13 PM
He even showed us the stupid loot list and that was the only ring on the whole thing. He didn't lie or cheat.

to be fair... "do that again" should have true resed the dragon AND recast all your buffs from earlier, and reset your positions. basically revert to beginning of the encounter.

Myou
2010-01-17, 03:28 PM
I perverted a wish in my last campaign, but they'd already gotten two and got lovely results from 'em so they didn't care. They had managed to defeat an Efreeti bandit and his gang in battle, and granted them wishes so that he wouldn't die.

The first wish turned the party leader's halberd into a +5 Holy weapon.
The other turned every piece of non-magical equipment, throughout their entire remaining expedition, into magical items.

All the armor, shields, weapons, etc. turned into +1 magical items.

For the third, they decided to pool ideas together and created a really long list of things the whole party wanted, wrote "We want everything on this list.", showed it to the Efreeti, and said "I wish this were true."

Efreeti laughs, and Plane Shifts.

So, he just ignored the wish?

Wind d8/d12
2010-01-17, 03:30 PM
So they wished that they wanted everything on the list...
Or they wished for everything ON the list, meaning it was already on the list. so Wish granted or whatever.

taltamir
2010-01-17, 04:32 PM
1. the list said "We want everything on this list."
2. They showed it to the Efreeti, and said "I wish this were true."
3. It was already true that they wanted everything on the list (they didn't wish to get it, they wish to want it, and they already wanted it)

The efreeti didn't have to do anything because it was true, they really did WANT everything on that list. it could have gone a lot worse considering how much they were abusing the spell.

Jarrick
2010-01-18, 06:01 PM
story about a poorly placed ring and dragon.

This is possibly the best screw up I've ever heard. Wow... just... wow. Magnificent.

The best one I've got: One of our players asked to be transformed into a red dragon. DM made him into a psuedodragon.

Sstoopidtallkid
2010-01-19, 12:21 AM
This is possibly the best screw up I've ever heard. Wow... just... wow. Magnificent.

The best one I've got: One of our players asked to be transformed into a red dragon. DM made him into a psuedodragon.Why not a Wyrmling or something? Maybe give him the Half-Dragon template?

chiasaur11
2010-01-19, 12:28 AM
Why not a Wyrmling or something? Maybe give him the Half-Dragon template?

Dragonwrought Kobold, non-venerable.

taltamir
2010-01-19, 02:21 PM
Why not a Wyrmling or something? Maybe give him the Half-Dragon template?

because that wouldn't completely screw the player, remember the spell is meant for suicide, not for actually accomplishing anything. If you make him a half dragon or a wyrmling players might not be properly afraid to use the spell. [/sarcasm]

drengnikrafe
2010-01-19, 03:33 PM
I once gave a pack of PCs wishes from a malevolent creature. That was fun. It went something like...
PC1: "I wish I was a god."
DM: "Done. Change your character's name to "a god"."
PC2: "I wish I was the most beautiful person in the world."
DM: "You lose 2 charisma. Everyone else in the world loses 4. Especially your friends."
PC3: "*Set of rules-lawyered wish about becoming a god*"
DM: "You become the god of Limbo. You are also in the center of the spire, trapped, where all of your magic is useless."
PC4: "*Less rules-lawyered wish about being in an inn in his native, dwarven land*"
DM: "You are fine in size, and inside the walls of the inn."

Needless to say, my PCs told me to never again give them wishes like that.

Melamoto
2010-01-19, 05:26 PM
People should be safe with most of their wishes. By RAW, wishes do not risk being corrupted unless you try and create an effect better than those listed (And if you won't settle for Wish, then you deserve what you get). Only an evil DM would corrupt a normal wish, since that's pretty much the same as corrupting any spell.

That said, I once had a player produce me a 2 page long document describing the full effects of his wish, effectively stating that he would get 1,000,000 gold pieces in front of him, no strings attached. Unfortunately, his wording only made it so that it was never possessed by anyone in the world, not the planescape. That Uuvuudaum who'd been storing material wealth was pretty pissed.

JohnnyCancer
2010-01-19, 05:29 PM
I played a game where someone said "I wish I was stronger," and the DM reduced his strength by one. After we all had a good laugh we backtracked and he worded it more carefully.

dragonfan6490
2010-01-19, 06:16 PM
When I was still new to the game, I wished to be able to cast a spell, that always hit its mark, dealt 1d6 per caster level, no cap, no SR, and would be any element type. Well, my DM decided that this was a little too OP (which I agree with him now) so when I cast the spell, it created a Living Spell, which nearly TPK'd the party, since it dealt 1d6 damage per caster level and I was a 22nd level Druid and always hit. Lesson learned: Don't wish for the best spell damage dealing spell in the world.

Shademan
2010-01-19, 06:47 PM
I played a game where someone said "I wish I was stronger," and the DM reduced his strength by one. After we all had a good laugh we backtracked and he worded it more carefully.

I don't get it

Claudius Maximus
2010-01-19, 06:50 PM
I don't get it

The player in question forgot to use the proper subjunctive "were", instead saying "was". Therefore, making him weaker now made it so that he was stronger. Before the wish.

At least that's what I think happened.

Sstoopidtallkid
2010-01-20, 12:44 AM
That said, I once had a player produce me a 2 page long document describing the full effects of his wish, effectively stating that he would get 1,000,000 gold pieces in front of him, no strings attached. Unfortunately, his wording only made it so that it was never possessed by anyone in the world, not the planescape. That Uuvuudaum who'd been storing material wealth was pretty pissed.I would have just granted him a partial fulfillment(a 25,000 GP block of gold). Normally it would have given him a million GP and a pissed off dragon, but he stopped that with his legal document, so he gets the closest thing Wish can provide.

MickJay
2010-01-20, 06:35 AM
Which one is more entertaining, though? :smallwink:

Shnezz
2010-01-20, 10:43 AM
"I wish for a flask of endless fire." -A pyromaniac rogue.

Result: He got a flask of endless fire. Which constantly spewed natural flame in a 10-foot stream. It could not be closed. It was attached to the top of his head.

Kami2awa
2010-01-20, 07:06 PM
PC4: "*Less rules-lawyered wish about being in an inn in his native, dwarven land*"
DM: "You are fine in size, and inside the walls of the inn."

Needless to say, my PCs told me to never again give them wishes like that.

What's the problem here? One of the things Wish can do fine according to its description is teleport anyone anywhere. Wishing to be in an inn you know well is hardly beyond it.

tyckspoon
2010-01-20, 07:12 PM
What's the problem here? One of the things Wish can do fine according to its description is teleport anyone anywhere. Wishing to be in an inn you know well is hardly beyond it.

Well, with more game-specific wording: "You become Fine in size, and find yourself occupying a gap inside the wall." Fine is roughly the size of a medium-sized songbird or toad.