Craft (Cooking): For Fun

[Realms of Chaos]

This is something that I made awhile ago, recently rediscovered on my flash drive. I know that this has been done and has been done better but I still wanted to post it, just because. :smalltongue:


Craft (Cook)
You can turn dead foes into delectable dishes. The DC of the check is determined by how hard it is to make into a dish. The number of people that a creature can feed is 4 + 4 for each size category larger than medium. A small creature can only feed two people and a creature smaller than small but larger than fine can only feed one creature. Fine creatures do not make a meal. The DC to make a meal from a creature is given below while the DC to make meals out of more common ingredients depend on the dish’s difficulty: Simple DC 10: Average DC 15: Fancy DC 20+ (depending on dish)

Difficulty | Example | Craft (Cooking) DC
Made to Eat | Animals, Magical Animals, Plants | DC 10+1/2 HD
A Bit Questionable | Dragons, Humanoids, Monstrous Humanoids, Vermin | DC 15+1/2 HD
Going to Haunt Me | Undead, Outsider, Ooze | DC 20+1/2 HD
How the Hell Did I Just Eat That? | Constructs, Elementals, Any Incorporeal Creature | DC 30+1/2 HD

Some creatures are particularly difficult to prepare, requiring additional optional craft (cook) checks to prepare properly
{table=head]Optional Check | Check DC
Remove Poison from Creature | Poison DC
Remove Disease from Creature | Disease DC[/table]
A failure to remove poison or disease from a meal means that everyone eating it is subject to it, although the preparation process reduces the save dc by 2.

{table=head]Degrees of Success or Failure | Degree of Failure/Success | Effect
Heavenly | +10 over DC | Eaters are well fed, getting +1 bonus on will saves per +10 over DC for 1 hour.
Normal | DC | None.
Bad | Within -5 of DC | Eaters must make fortitude save (DC 20) or become sickened for 1 hour, though they still gain nourishment from the meal.
Spoiled | Within -10 of DC | Eaters must make fortitude save (DC 20) or become nauseated for 1 hour, though they still gain nourishment from the meal.
Terrible | Within -15 of DC | Eaters must make fortitude save (DC 20) or become nauseated for 1 hour, becoming sickened for one hour with a success. No nourishment is gained from the meal.
Alive | Within -20 of DC | You have not quite killed all the nerve impulses of the creature. All eaters are nauseated for 1 hour (no save) and are automatically hit by one of the target’s natural attacks each round for 1 minute upon eating. No nourishment is gained from the meal.
Deadly | Within -25 of DC | All consuming creatures must make a fortitude save (DC 20) or die, becoming nauseated for 24 hours on a success. No nourishment is gained from the meal.
WHAT DID YOU DO?! | Within -30 of DC | Any and all creatures with access to even one sense can tell that this object you call food is not edible, and regurgitates it instantly unless they force the food down. If they do, the eater dies (no save).
Abomination of Nature | Below the DC-30 | The dish, unable to fully exist, vanishes, or else collapses under its own weight or bursts into flames. The cooking process, having gone so terribly wrong, kills the cook (no save)[/table]


Special: A Bard gets a +2 bonus on Craft (Cook) checks.
Special: Any character who gains at least one rank in Craft (Cook) during character creation gains either a free cart or a free masterwork set of cooking tools. A character who takes skill focus (Craft [Cook]) during character creation gains both.
Special: A cook always gains a +2 bonus on fortitude saves to resist the effects of their own cooking.
Synergy: Any character with five or more ranks in Craft (Cook) gains a +2 synergy bonus on fortitude saves made against ingested poisons.

[DracoDei]

Remind me to post my Food clerical domain, and link to the halfling cleric of food and travel who gained his powers from his devotion to fine cuisine (both preparing and consuming) and only knows how to fight because he studied TWF to perfect his Benne Hanna style food preparation technique. He adventures to earn money to feed the hungry, because he can't bare the thought of anyone being without food.

[Silverscale]

{table=head]Degrees of Success or Failure | Degree of Failure/Success | Effect | Below the DC-30 | The dish, unable to fully exist, vanishes, or else collapses under its own weight or bursts into flames. The cooking process, having gone so terribly wrong, kills the cook (no save)[/table]


LOL that's hilarious.......I like what you've got here

[Dust]

Remind me to post my Food clerical domain, and link to the halfling cleric of food and travel who gained his powers from his devotion to fine cuisine (both preparing and consuming) and only knows how to fight because he studied TWF to perfect his Benne Hanna style food preparation technique. He adventures to earn money to feed the hungry, because he can't bare the thought of anyone being without food.
Oh lawd. Yes please.

[DracoDei]

Here is one version of him. (http://www.thetangledweb.net/forums/profiler/view_char.php?cid=5858).

In higher level versions the meat-cleaver/battle-axe (it is that large because he frequently cooks for those who are much larger than himself, including dragons, who can afford his services, and enjoy the finer things in life), is flaming, and serves as his cooking surface (he can precisely control the strength of the flames to cook everything just right, the standard flaming mechanic would be the highest it goes. He also would be continuing to pursue the TWF tree. My method for introducing him the the party the first time i used he was to have him standing in the common court-yard of the temple district, collecting for charity to feed people. If the party gives generously he respects them and offers his services as a trail-cook and "Oh, yeah, I can also heal you and stuff like that... but that is such a minor thing.", if they are stingy but polite (and they have no reason to be rude to him), he looks at the small amount he has collected, and says to them "Well, this isn't going so hot... maybe I should try my luck as an adventurer?" and offers to join them anyway. In either case he is pretty timid in combat, especially at first.

As for the Food Domain, here is a really ugly cut/paste of it...


Granted Powers: Can cast the following spells 2/day each: Create Water, Purify Food/Drink (As a bonus also gets rid of bitterness or excessive seasoning?)
1 Detect Food
2 Create Food and Drink (high quality)
3 Ray of Vomiting
4 Neutralize Poison*
5 Stone to Flesh**
6 Hero Feast
7 White Snake
8 Greater Hero’s Feast
9 Nectar of the gods
* Ingested and Contact Only
** In situations where this spell would normally produce an undefined fleshy substance it instead produces raw meat of supreme quality, caster’s choice of any type of meat she has eaten at least once.


Detect Food
Divination
Level: Food 1
Components: V,S,DF
Casting Time: 1 action
Range: 60 ft.
Area: Quarter circle emanating from you to the extreme of the range
Duration: Concentration, up to 10 minutes/level (D)
You detect substances you can eat or drink. This will detect living creatures but only if you have eaten such a creature before and could reasonably expect to defeat it if you faced in a battle to the death with yourself naked, weaponless and without magic or psionics, fleshed undead are detected as spoiled meat if you have ever eaten a member of that species. Thus you could theoretically detect ghouls made from humans if you have ever eaten human flesh, but skeletons or ghosts could not be detected. The amount of information revealed depends on how long you study a particular area, subject or place:
1st round: Presences or absence of food.
2nd round: Number clumps of food and tastiness of the one you like best.
3rd round: The volume and tastiness of each piece of food in area. Also gives indication if any of them are poisoned with ingested or contact poison. This is an indication for the area as a whole and not for any individual piece of food in it. Tastiness levels:
Tastiness Aura Strength
Spoiled Dim
Unpalatable Faint
Average Moderate
Tasty Strong
Gourmet Extreme
4th round: The type of each piece of food. Which pieces of food, if any, are poisoned.
5th and later rounds: May make one attempt per poisoned food item to identify the poison used (See Detect Poison). You may only make one attempt per round and only one attempt for each poisoned item. Note that if you have the Alchemy skill then each attempt actually might consist of two rolls.
Note: Like all the other detect spells this one can penetrate barrier but has its limits. If the caster has been unable to obtain food for at least 2 days then double the thicknesses, or if they are within 5 days of starving to death then instead triple them.



Greater Heroes Feast
Evocation
Level: Food 8
Casting Time: 10 minutes
Duration: 24 hours
This spell is identical with Heroes Feast except as follows:
• Heals all HP instead of only some.
• All 12 hour durations in it change to 24 hours
• +2 (un)holy bonus to STR, CON, and INT for 24 hours provided by food.



Ray of Vomiting
Enchantment (Compulsion)
Level: Food 3, Wiz/Sor 3
Components: S, M?, DF
Casting Time: 1 action
Range: Short (25ft +5ft/2 levels)
Target: One creature
Duration: 1d4 rounds or until resisted
Save: Special
Spell Resistance: Yes
Your ray causes the creature struck to spend one round doing nothing but vomiting, retching, and spitting. Although much more disgusting the practical combat effects of this are mostly equivalent to a Daze spell that allows no save (at least not on this first round). The vomitus may also be slick or in extreme cases might eat (extremely strong stomach acid) or burn (Remorhaz) into whatever it touches (GM’s digestion… er I mean discresion). In such cases or just for effect the GM may allow the creature a will save to aim stomach contents as a range touch attack. The maximum range is equal to the creature’s reach and thereis no increment. Note that with the exception of thri-kreen almost all breathweapons are separate from stomach contents and are not considered to be proficient weapons. In any case any creatures that have been swallowed or are in the creatures mouth are ejected immediately. Each additional round up to the 1d4 duration the target is allowed a Fortitude save to end the effects. On the third round(if any) the DC is decreased by 1, and on the fourth round (if any) the DC decreased by 1 more for a total of 2 less than the original DC.
Material Component: a root from the alum plant, this is actually not strictly required but without it the range changes to touch. This is a critical distinction since touch attacks from within the craw or stomach of a creature are almost always automatically successful.



Nectar of the gods
Transmutation [See Text]
Level: Food 9
Components: V, S, M, DF
Casting Time: 10 minutes
Range: Touch
Target: One bottle containing at least 20 vials worth of (un)holy water.
Duration: Until discharged or 2 hours / level* , 24 hours

Temporarily transforms (un)holy water into a potion of great power. The potion may be utilized in one of two ways. It can be drunk or it can be used as a grenade like missile. For the duration the bottle is considered to be a Breaker Bottle and anyone who handles it has the command word mentally communicated to them.
Drinking it requires a full round action and it immediately has the same end effects as a Greater Heroes Feast on the imbiber with the following exceptions (there is no one hour delay, just the one full round to quaff):
• Quaffing is sufficient to provide all the benefits even though there is nothing to eat.
• +2 (un)holy bonus to WIS for 24 hours
• +4 (un)holy bonus substituted for the +2 bonus to ONE of STR, CON, or INT (casters choice at time of casting, the other two are still +2)
• drinker gains 3d8 temporary hitpoints (as per Aid) for 24 hours
• functions as per the second effect of Protection from Good/Evil/Law/Chaos. (blocks any attempt to possess the warded creature or to exercise mental control over the creature. Likewise the barrier keeps out a possessing life force but does not expel one if it is in place before the potion is quaffed.)
• acts as a Regenerate Light Wounds ( p.92 Master’s of the Wild) with a 24 hour duration.
• Again: all effects are without delay.

If used as a grenade like missile then it has the following effects:
Splash: Acts as a Holy Word, Dictum, Word of Chaos, or Blasphemy depending on what modifier it was memorized with on creatures struck by splash only. It also functions as a bottle with 20 vials worth of (un)holy water would if used as a grenade like missile. If cast as a Good spell after these effects are resolved, against undead ONLY it acts like a Heal spell on them (and so damages them). If cast as an Evil spell after these effects are resolved, against living targets ONLY it acts like a Harm spell on them.
Struck directly: As per above but Holy Word, Dictum, Word of Chaos, or Blasphemy functions at increased effect as if under a Maximize Spell and Empower Spell effects and save versus Heal/Harm effect failed then it always leaves them with only 1 hitpoint remaining.

The standard rule about this being memorized as a ONE of the following only (per spell slot) applies: Good, Evil, Law, or Chaos.
Material Components: If cast as a Good spell: The bottle of Holy Water (at least 20 vials worth)(not consumed), 1 lb of honey, 1 pint fine red wine (costs 10 gp, see p. 108 PHB)
If cast as a Law spell: Bottle of Holy or Unholy Water (at least 20 vials worth)(not consumed), 1 lb of honey, 1 pint fine bubbly wine (Like Champaign for example, costs 10 gp, see p. 108 PHB)
If cast as an Evil spell: The bottle of Unholy Water (at least 20 vials worth)(not consumed), 1 gallon of distilled spirits( 2 gp worth), 1 pint fine wine (costs 10 gp, see p. 108 PHB)
If cast as an Chaos spell: The bottle of Unholy or Holy Water (at least 20 vials worth)(not consumed), 10 gp worth of mead
*This is the ‘shelf life’ before it reverts back to being (un)holy water, not the duration of the effect if and when drunk.



White Snake
Conjuration (Creation)
Level: Food 7, Drd 7
Duration: 3 hours/level* or until discharged + 1 hour/level
Components: V, S, DF, F
Range: Touch
Target: Platter/Bowl touched
Casting Time: 10 minutes
Creates a dead snakelike creature with pure white scales on the platter/bowl cut up one piece per 3 caster levels. Each of these pieces if consumed acts as per Speak with Animals on the eater with a duration of 1 hour per level of the caster of White Snake. In addition it grants a +4 enhancement bonus to charisma for the purpose of any interaction with animals for the duration and gives a +1 enhancement bonus to intelligence to any animals within 10’ feet of the eater. This last bonus is considered on a round-by-round basis without regard to where the animal was before that time. In other words whether the animal left the radius, and/or was in the radius at the time of eating of the piece of the snake is irrelevant.

Cleric Focus: A silver platter with sliver cover worth at least 200 gp.
Druid Focus: A wooden bowl at least 1 foot in diameter made of Oak, rowan, ash, or yew.
*This is the shelf life before any remaining pieces of the snake vanishes, not the duration of the effect if eaten.

[Debihuman]

This is quite good. I love food related ideas.

I recommend that you name the degree of success or failure between Deadly and Abomination of Nature, "Beyond Deadly."

Debby

[Realms of Chaos]

I named that section ??????????????? on purpose. It's supposed to represent how cooking something so badly makes it completely unrecognizable as food.

[Debihuman]

All those question marks just look like you couldn't think what to name it. Usually question marks are used as filler.

Edit: you can also feel free to use my Pie Domain.

Debby

[Realms of Chaos]

replaced ? marks with "WHAT DID YOU DO?".

Do you think something like "in no way food" would be more appropriate?

[DracoDei]

I find it very funny that trying to cook an Iron Golem, when you have no idea what you are doing can easily result in violations of the fundimental fabric of the universe.

[Fortuna]

Very true. I wonder... what kind of DC would it be to deliberately produce something with WHAT DID YOU DO effects and then disguise the inherent inedibility?

[Realms of Chaos]

don't forget that making a "what did you do?" result makes the food obviously inedible to all senses.

Therefore, you'd need a glamor effect strong enough to disguise its appearance, texture, smell, taste, and sound (best not to think about that last one). Even then, though, you'd need an enormous bluff check to convince the target that they have to force down that food for some reason.

Also, it makes complete sense that cooking golems break reality, what do you think happens to the remnants of their animating magic?

[Debihuman]

replaced ? marks with "WHAT DID YOU DO?".

Do you think something like "in no way food" would be more appropriate?

Or "Beyond Recognition"

Debby

[DracoDei]

Also, it makes complete sense that cooking golems break reality, what do you think happens to the remnants of their animating magic?
*Bows in gracious defeat.*

[Touchy]

Why don't women have an inherit bonus to this, besides the fact it would be slightly unbalancing and a joke in bad taste?

[Agi Hammerthief]

shouldn't potential eaters get a Will Save to refuse eating the stuff?

DC = 20 + Craft (Cooking) ranks of the cheff + damage taken from starvation + the amount by which the cheff made the cooking DC (a negative number if the DC was missed)



oooh, and how about just a desintegrate effect on any person within 5' of the pot, rather than killing the cheff for Abomination of Nature?

if you are incompetent you might as well flaunt it by letting a Golem Caserole boil inside an enemy camp :smallbiggrin:

[ScIaDrd]

Realy awesome and hilaroius. I like it a lot. And a little idea: Whatbout you let somedoby who ate one of the more reprehensoble foods , an made the save by say +4 breath fire for 1d6 points of damage for( con mod rounded down rounds) after eating the thing. And let me suggest a magic alchemic item Red dragon pepper sauce that lets you do this. Three serving 60gp market price DC15 fort save when ingested oe you are dazed for 1d3 round retching puffing and spewing mllitary grade hot sauce around the place DC22 Craft (alchemy) or (cooking) check to make. Takes 20 mins and requires a kitchen or alchemist´s lab. Raw ingredients cost 40gp for a dose.

[TabletopNuke]

As has been previously stated, this is awesome, and "Abomination of Nature" is hilarious.

I think you could increase how much food a creature yields based on it's size. A medium-sized creature (even after taking into account the fact that some parts are discarded) could feed a lot more than 4 people. A chicken is tiny, and could probably feed 3 or 4 people pretty well.

You could also make a feat that allows the character to use parts of the creature that are normally discarded (I just read a Food Network Magazine article about that). This would allow them to serve more people than the creature's size would normally allow.