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View Full Version : |Any| The Most Horriblarious Thing To Happen To Your Character



Deth Muncher
2010-01-21, 11:39 AM
I felt I should share this story with the Playground, and I feel as though I can't be the only one who had something so bad it's hilarious happen to them.

In my first campaign, my DM did something I pretty much can't forgive him for: He let someone play my character when I wasn't there. Normally, the group functioned under the "Character Bag of Holding" concept, where if someone wasn't there but we needed a skill they have, -shoop- out of the extraplanar non-item they come, the DM rolls for them, and then -shoop- back they go. But instead, he let someone play my character for the whole session (I was a halfling sorceror then). Said person was the cleric, which due to my bumbling had accidentally set on fire several sessions prior, with an item called the "Ring of Random Action." Said ring was actually a cursed item, and is basically a lesser version of the Rod of Wonder. If I ever activated it with a purpose in mind, something terrible happened. If I just activated it, something funny/okay happened.

So what did the cleric's player do?

He used it.

Every round.

The entire session.

So, in addition to all the other completely stupid crap, he apparently gains me a new class: Rectomancer.

You read that right.

At first, I was excessively pissed. Then the DM said I could just come up with spells on the Rectomancy spell list and, well...I got my revenge, slightly. I say slightly, because the campaign shortly became unmanageable and un-fun several sessions later.

So. What's happened to you?

Ecalsneerg
2010-01-21, 11:57 AM
Not me, but a friend's Ventrue in a Vampire: the Masquerade game.

We'd somehow gotten lured into an abandoned apartment block by Hunters disguised as tramps. Then one threw a grenade at the poor, poor Ventrue. Other than Fortitude 1, he wasn't really too tough.

So he tries to kick the grenade back at the Hunter and then dive over the banister. He rolled really badly to kick it away, but his Fortitude soaked all his six storeys of falling damage. Lying on his front, he had time to say 'Phew' before the grenade, due to his awful roll, fell through the banisters and down to land beside him.

Through judicious blood spending, he managed to not die horrifically.

Meanwhile, I kept frenzying on sight of Hunters coming out from everywhere with flamethrowers. Like, three times in half an hour, or a few minutes of in-game combat. As a Gangrel, this... wasn't really too pretty. Go, tail!

Dragoa
2010-01-21, 12:11 PM
I've done a horriblarious thing to a player once in a Vampire Game, actually just one guy had bad luck with the party. His first Character was viciously maimed and attacked by another player(to the tune of torturing him into Torper, then ditching him in the deepest part of the sea) so he rolled up a new character and decided he wanted to be a more party loving character, coincidentally at the same time my character decided there would be no partying. So his first action back was getting blind sided by me and someone else during his big coming out party and nearly being killed(I had to more or less hang him up in a closet with someone to feed on so he wouldn't die) and if this didn't give him the hint, he went out and threw another party the next night, which I found and destroyed again this time ending the poor character since I realized he wasn't normal and deaded him something fierce.

To me, the only things that come to mind is in my current game the BBEG took my mule's cape and ruined it :smallfrown::smallfurious:

Although in the same game there, I suppose this qualifies, when one of our characters(A rogue I think it was) missed a session he gave the DM directions on how to play him for the day, the first of which was 'Read book X'. Now the DM did this faithfully, but unfortunately for him an enemy was seen spotted heading towards my oh so loved mule, and when I asked him to help, the DM kept in line and said 'No, I want to read the book.'. I did not take kindly to this, so a rage and non-lethal'd power attack later I'm carrying him off the boat and running towards the mule to protect her. And to top it off, I paid someone we really hated to pretend to do nasty things to him(essentially he woke up in a bed, nude, with someone he hated(and of the same sex to boot) nothing happened, but boy was he bitter and confused when he got back next session) Man, I love that mule but it's going to be the death of the party...(I've already said on several occasion, if the mule dies, the party goes with it.) This does lead to great scenes like me pointing at a random party member saying 'PROTECT THE MULE!' then diving out of a window to chase after some guy that is trying to escape.

illyrus
2010-01-21, 12:16 PM
To the OP: ouch

1. Let's see, cursed rings that would make all our characters grow fat and keep becoming more overweight by a x2-x8 multiplier. Our quest was to remove them, doing the sub-quests in a certain order so we could save the easy ones for when we were too big to be able to move effectively. I did get a partial reprieve from this with the following conversation:

me: So does my druid when wild shaped also weight more?
DM: yes
me: So if I wildshape into a rhino with a x4 multiplier I can create openings in walls by leaning on them and can land on castle roofs to collapse them?
DM: You are not fat when you're wildshaped.
me: Yay I stay wildshaped 90% of the time then.

2. The GM and a player got together and made my character a pacifist by DM fiat that was unwilling to kill ANYONE for ANY REASON with an int score over 2. This was due to my unaligned character throwing the leader of a gang off a cliff to his death because the leader planned to sneak down in the night and murder my character's friends and brother (other PCs) while they slept. The DM then proceeded to hand out just kill quests.

3. We wanted to sneak into someone's house and kill them (it was part of the plot). The GM flat out refused to let us do so or even try and had our characters walk in the front door. Then informed us that because we walked in the front door instead of being stealthy it had alerted the town guard (yay for him having the text already prepared and not willing to deviate from it).

4. The party alone on a docked ship:
me: While we're here, I grab a small bit of cargo to take with us.
GM: No you can't.
me: Why not, is it too heavy?
GM: Yes.
me: Ok, then I'll grab the ship's charts.
GM: NO! You cannot do that.
me: Why not, is there some magic preventing me from taking it?
GM: YOU JUST CAN'T! THIS SHIP IS THE LIGHTBRINGER!
me: ??? You've never told us anything about this ship, fine I'll just spend some time and copy down the charts then or is there anything preventing me from doing that?
GM: NO that's fine, why would anything prevent you from doing that?
me: ...

5. This one didn't happen to me, but when a new player brought their new arcane character to play the GM introduced them as we entered a torture chamber. The new PC had been tortured and had his tongue removed (with no form of silent spell feat or regeneration handy).

Zanticor
2010-01-21, 12:34 PM
This one I did to one of my players but I just have to post it. I crackle with glee just thinking about it. First I send this tiny halfling across the multiverse to a random layer of hell (turned out to be Minauros). Then I let him toy with the deck of many things so his soul gets trapped under the control of a void (black) slaad on Limbo who puts it in all sorts of bodies and makes him do unspeakable chaotic things. He is ok now and converted to a less chaotic alignment to save his soul from going there after his death (which is inevitable and close at hand!)

Zanticor

shadow_archmagi
2010-01-21, 12:41 PM
I once had some players fighting an evil gnome wizard and his Flesh Golem. They were losing HP pretty steadily, but it was too. Of course, being a golem, it didn't exactly bellow out in pain or anything, so they didn't have much idea how close it was to dying. When it got to about 7 hp, the players decided it was time for something different.

It's a two man party, and one of the players decides that there's only one way to solve this: Summon Bigger Fish. The other player realizes what he's trying for and runs.

Some time ago, the party had encountered a magic book. Opening it causes a random number of a random kind of fish to fall from the sky.

On this occasion? When the chips were down? He rolled whales. 62 of them.

Dr.Epic
2010-01-21, 12:42 PM
In my current campaign, my dwarf barbarian has a weapon that changes his gender every time the weapon gets wet.

Zom B
2010-01-21, 12:52 PM
In the 2nd ed game, I had played my desert-themed rogue (Yahdi, the Fox of the Sands) from 1st to 12th level over the course of years. Our DM wanted us to go through a long pre-written adventure, but it was intended for 13th level, so she wanted to level us up by running through a short pre-made adventure made for 10th level.

Easy, right? :smallamused:

Our party priest (Brother Foley, Beloved of Mielikki (sp?)), falls through a pit trap in the floor and onto some spikes. He's bleeding to death and our party ranger tries to get him out and falls in instead, landing on the priest and dealing more damage to him, which kills him. The ranger manages to get out with the body of our priest in hopes we can resurrect him, and we continue on, since we have a little healing from other sources and really don't have the money for a resurrection, but we're hoping we can find some treasure good enough to sell for that.

Yahdi sees a door in an alcove and finds that it is trapped. He tries to disable the trap and fails, triggering the trap: the celing of the alcove, a stone block weighing several tons, falls on him.

The rest of the party cannot recover him and gets attacked and ends up having to leave the body of the priest behind as they flee the dungeon. Considering this was supposed to be a short side-quest experience extravaganza, I'd say this turned horriblarious.

hewhosaysfish
2010-01-21, 01:32 PM
A horrible Chaotic ooze turned one of Methazi's arms into an oversized chicken's foot. We fixed it with the help of a skilled sculptor and the spells stone-to-flesh, stone shape and flesh-to-stone.


*win*

This is sufficiently win that I won't complain that a whale isn't a fish.



In my current campaign, my dwarf barbarian has a weapon that changes his gender every time the weapon gets wet.

Is that just when it's wet with water or do other fluids count? Like, for example, blood?

Hallavast
2010-01-21, 01:52 PM
*Account of several horriffic, bloody deaths via traps*

The traps sound a bit like the ones from Tomb of Horrors. If that's the title of the pre-written adventure, then it is very likely that the DM was trying to kill at least some of your party.

Yukitsu
2010-01-21, 02:13 PM
DM: OK, your magical school girl character encounters... Um, a horrible betentacled monster. Roll opposed grapple.
Me: I'd hit you, but I saw the rolls and the table.

DM: OK, your strength is damaged down to 1.
Me: I can't even stand up anymore, and I'm not even strong enough to take my backpack off.
DM: Can I see your sheet for a moment? Charisma 20 on a wizard? All right, you're dragged off alive by a lusty hag.
Me: Damn it.

Me: I head into my magic oasis tent to sleep. It's more luxurious than sleeping in a normal tent.
DM: Can I see your sheet for a moment? OK, your commanding officer demands that you share. Your character is fatigued the next morning, because not a lot of sleeping was done.
Me: Isn't she a Drow priestess? Should I be worried about the murder?
DM: No, you're good enough that you're more valuable alive.
Me: *Whimper*

DM: Your merchant is attacked by a betentacled monster.
Me: Hah! This time she has an absurd touch AC!
DM: Natural 20 touch?
Me: I'm beginning to see a trend here.

Also, I have never had a character step in a boat or aeroplane without the DM open rolling a natural 1 on the encounter chart, where 1 is a horrible event.