Is it wrong to prefer someone as a mate due to their cultural/ethnic features?

[Pika...]

I have always debated if this was wrong or downright prejudice of myself, and I have felt guilty at times due to some incidents.

You see this question came up yesterday when I met a cashier at a restaurant/buffet in my local area a girl with an amazing southern accent. She sounded like a southern belle. Since I was a young teen I have always melted at a nice southern accent on a girl, so I ended trying to chat her up after (no luck, but at least I am trying!).

Also, I noticed that she was Caucasian, and very fair in skin tone (even a few freckles). Even though I am not Caucasian I have always had a "preference" for such girls in my life, usually a girl with blue or green eyes and blond or red hair getting my eye in a room long before most other types. Strangely, my own race's women being among the last I notice.

Does this make me prejudice? Or does this merely fall under "tastes"? Or is this what I believe is termed "reverse racism"?


Thanks for any advice and input beforehand!

[Flickerdart]

I don't think personal preference can really be considered "wrong"* for anything, just like there really can't be a universal "right" way to find someone attractive. Now, were you to write a 20-page essay detailing the empirical, objective superiority of such women to any other sort of woman, that might have been a little overboard.

*Except anything to do with Twilight. That's wrong.

[Dallas-Dakota]

Nope, or atleast I certainly hope it's not.:smalleek:

:smalltongue:

Otherwise I'l be damn ''wrong'' (sometimes), there are some beautifull and smart girls out there, but they're just not my ''type'', for some reason the spark just isn't there.

And it's not like I can really controll when there's that chemical present.

[CDR_Doom]

It's just your taste. Everybody sees certain characteristics in other people that they find immediately attractive. Like Flickerdart said, racism would be to believe that those people you find attractive are in some way superior as human beings.

[Totally Guy]

If it is then where do we draw the line? Am I sexist because I prefer women?

Some people make me feel very guilty over this. They're open minded which makes me a closed minded sexist individual.

[Pika...]

Ah, I see the difference now. Thank you. I was under the impression that preferring someone for their race/ethnic features/etc for whatever reason = racism.

[Nameless]

Of course not. Everyone has their personal preferences. Finding someone aesthetically attractive for their ethnic background is no different from finding someone aesthetically attractive for their size, hair colour or body shape.

[CDR_Doom]

If it is then where do we draw the line? Am I sexist because I prefer women?

Some people make me feel very guilty over this. They're open minded which makes me a closed minded sexist individual.

What? That's ridiculous. Those so-called "open minded" people don't sound very open minded to me, otherwise they would accept your position with... wait for it... an open mind! Personal preferences are just that. I don't have to be gay to accept someone else's choice, I just have to accept their choice. I don't like most sushi either, but not ordering it when my friends do doesn't make me a sushi bigot, it just means I don't like to eat seaweed.

[Syka]

I 'prefer' caucasians, I guess you could say. I mean, I've been attracted to black men, Asian men, Indian men, etc., but my area is predominately white. For 'taste' purposes, just looking at the physical, I'd actually say I 'prefer' Middle Eastern and Indian guys. If you go by my dating history, it would be blondes with blue eyes. *shrug* 'Tastes' don't always denote what will happen.

As an interesting aside, my best friend's boyfriend is a black. My sisters fiance is half-Korean. It was an amusing day when I realized I was the only one in my 'family' who was dating a 'full' caucasian (I'm pretty sure his geneology is just the British Isles plus some German). :smallwink:

[Klose_the_Sith]

I think it's actually common to be attracted to people of a different ethnicity, especially if you're say Jewish and were raised being told to go after Jewish girls only.

Think of it as anything else with children, try and make them listen to classical music and they'll wind up hating the stuff (in most cases).

Naturally exceptions bla bla etc. boring stuff, I'm probably wrong

Either way I agree with what was already said here - it's just a feature that you find attractive. If anything I'd be concerned about the factors that led you to worry about such a personal preference.

[Icewalker]

The line which divides the two is choice. If you are attracted to someone, you just are. It's not something we control, and its just what your hormones, genes, and whatnot, is telling you. If you choose preference of a race, culture, or whatever else, then it is prejudice.

[Totally Guy]

What? That's ridiculous. Those so-called "open minded" people don't sound very open minded to me, otherwise they would accept your position with... wait for it... an open mind!

It's all just inside my head.

Most of my friends are not straight and I often feel like the odd one out. It must be how most gay people feel surrounded by straight people. It's very lonely because I don't know anyone that's found themselves feeling that way. And when a straight guys feels it it's almost insulting as we've never been a persecuted minority.

I mean, I can remember coming out to my Dad as straight. When he'd thought for some time that I wasn't. I'm not even camp.

I need to get past this somehow.

Edit: "We are Family"? I wish I had family.:smalltongue:

[Tequila Sunrise]

Ah, I see the difference now. Thank you. I was under the impression that preferring someone for their race/ethnic features/etc for whatever reason = racism.
Nope. Racism = "White women are the hottest. And if you don't think so, you're wrong." Racism also makes unfounded judgments about people based on their race. For example "White women are hott; other women are not. Therefore, any given non-white woman is probably ugly."

Anyway, I think we all tend to be attracted to people with different physical traits than ourselves. It's for the same reason that nobody (okay, most of us) don't like our own hair -- 'the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence' as the saying goes.

I'm white, and white women are definitely not at the top of my attraction list.

[shadow_archmagi]

Finding that one race or culture commonly contains aesthetic traits you find pleasing is not racism.

[Kneenibble]

Welcome to the New World Order, Glug! *maniac gay laughter*

I can think of racist reasons for such a preference. Men who want an asian woman, for example, because they think she will be more submissive and domestic, or a black woman for perceived likelihood of sexual appetite.

Or far more harmless reasons -- all the friends I've had who taught English overseas found that (some) Japanese and Korean girls like to have a Canadian or American boyfriend, because he treats her less chauvinistically than the local stock.

But all that has to do with culture, often conflated with race. I think aesthetics is a quite neutral and harmless reason for preference. I have an aesthetic preference in that regard myself.

[Faulty]

There's not really a problem with finding certain physical features. I think fetishizing race is racist though. The people who love "Asian" women and have "yellow fever" I think are implicit racists.

[Nameless]

Nope. Racism = "White women are the hottest. And if you don't think so, you're wrong." Racism also makes unfounded judgments about people based on their race. For example "White women are hott; other women are not. Therefore, any given non-white woman is probably ugly."

No, Racism = "This race is always bad... But this race is always good." Not just white people.
Racism applies to other races too. It's surprising, I know, but it actually happens every day. :smalltongue:
ferlz.

[Pika...]

Thanks for the point of views folks. I am glad to see I was not being prejudice by all this.



I'm white, and white women are definitely not at the top of my attraction list.

Want to swap places for my queue in line for a latina? :smallsmile:

[Kneenibble]

Now if your reasons are anything like Little John's from Requiem for a Dream, then we have a problem.

[RabbitHoleLost]

Everyone's already answered your question, Pika, but I just wanted to through in my own preference for Latinos and Asians.
Granted, I typically end up dating white men, but preferences aren't the end-all, are they?

[Kuma Da]

Just throwing in my two cents here, but I think preferences are one of those things best described as Mostly Harmless. For the most part, they're nothing to feel guilty over, but they can sometimes make people uncomfortable in a "you just like me 'cause I'm X" way. And this goes for everything from ethnicity to physical build to demeanor. I think, as long as the X isn't the be-all-end-all of your attraction to a person, you should be fine.

[Faulty]

Asia is a large place, and I find it kind of offensive when people say "I like Asians" and they mean "I like East Asians."

Also, race is more a cultural perception than anything. Even among different "races", people vary wildly, so it seems like saying "I like X race more" is kind of silly. It might make more sense to say "I tend to prefer lighter skinned people", or something similar. Espousing the virtues of such and such a race is, I'd say, implicitly racist, because forcing a bunch of (arguably) positive physical traits is bad, too.

[Deth Muncher]

Welcome to the New World Order, Glug! *maniac gay laughter*



I'm not entirely sure why this scares me more than anything ever has in my life, but it does. :smalltongue:

Now, Pika. I've seen you posting things like this over the past few months. It's totally okay. This is only BARELY close to the eugenic idea of breeding for specific traits, and I mean, who DOESN'T do that? :P

But y'know, you should feel glad you know what you like. Me? Other than the fact that I know I like the womenfolk, I can't seem to pick my preference. I thought it was Caucasians with long brown hair and brown eyes. Now? I've been attracted to almost anything. It's annoying.

[Umael]

It's not prejudice. It's being discriminating.

And that's not necessarily a bad thing because it is done all the time.

For example, a prospective employer WILL be discriminating in its decision on whom to hire - but it is illegal, unethnical, and immoral to have these discrimination be based on race, sex, age, sexual preference, religion, religion, or nationality (unless the job REQUIRES something of the kind - can't be a Catholic priest without being Catholic, can't work in the sex store if you're a minor, etc.). The discrimination that an employer uses is the kind to tell whether the potential hire has the skills and attitude to do the job well and fit into the company sub-culture.

People also discriminate in their tastes of music and food and entertainment. I don't care for country, Texas-style BBQ, or rodeos. But I won't hold it against someone who does, and I might even enjoy myself if subjected to one of the following - but as a trend, no.

As someone who is interested in dating, you are going to be discriminatory too, because that is only natural - for everyone, not just you. And it's not even as if there is check-list of things that are "must-have" or "deal-killers", but more of an intuition of "preferred/not-preferred".

Your list might include:
Must be a woman
Strongly desire open-minded
Prefer Caucasians
Green-eyes and long red-hair a plus
Southern-accent definitely a bonus

...but that doesn't mean that you won't bump into an African-American woman who shows you a good time or met an American Native who wins your heart.

Just note your preferences, be honest with yourself, and treat anyone who expresses an interest in your with respect even if you aren't interested back.

[bibliophile]

I think it's fine. Everyone has different tastes.

[RabbitHoleLost]

Asia is a large place, and I find it kind of offensive when people say "I like Asians" and they mean "I like East Asians."

Also, race is more a cultural perception than anything. Even among different "races", people vary wildly, so it seems like saying "I like X race more" is kind of silly. It might make more sense to say "I tend to prefer lighter skinned people", or something similar. Espousing the virtues of such and such a race is, I'd say, implicitly racist, because forcing a bunch of (arguably) positive physical traits is bad, too.

No. Really. I like Asians (Not exclusively "East Asians", thank you), mostly because a large majority of them have light tan to darker tan tones of skin and darker hair and eyes, and are often of a skinnier, shorter build (With the exception of Russia, for the most part).
I know this trend among that specific area of the world, hence, instead of listing off all of that when someone asks what my type is, I say "Asians".
Or Latinos, for the generally same answer.

[Jack Squat]

Pika, move on down here - it'd practically be paradise for you :smallwink:

I always figured part of the candidacy for someone to be a mate is attraction - some of which undoubtedly must be physical. Since someone's appearance is based off of what they're ancestry is and where they grew-up/live, it's quite impossible to find someone attractive without having some bias towards those features.

[Faulty]

No. Really. I like Asians (Not exclusively "East Asians", thank you), mostly because a large majority of them have light tan to darker tan tones of skin and darker hair and eyes, and are often of a skinnier, shorter build (With the exception of Russia, for the most part).
I know this trend among that specific area of the world, hence, instead of listing off all of that when someone asks what my type is, I say "Asians".
Or Latinos, for the generally same answer.

I wasn't addressing you, sorry if you felt I was. I just found that "Asians" is often subtituted for "East Asians".

[RabbitHoleLost]

I wasn't addressing you, sorry if you felt I was. I just found that "Asians" is often subtituted for "East Asians".

Yeah, well, considering it came shortly after my post, it felt a little patronizing on my part.
But, eh, I tend to be incredibly defensive, so my apologies in return.

[Ravens_cry]

The line which divides the two is choice. If you are attracted to someone, you just are. It's not something we control, and its just what your hormones, genes, and whatnot, is telling you. If you choose preference of a race, culture, or whatever else, then it is prejudice.
But what if you look at your choices over the long term, notice a pattern and then say 'Yeah, I don't find many black (white, red, green) women all that attractive.' Same outer result, different (?) internal logic.

[FoE]

Have you played the game Dragon Age: Origins? In the City Elf origin, you deal with a corrupt son of an arl (effectively a baron) who comes into the elven quarter of the city to haul some elven women off to a 'private party.' He derisively refers to elven women as 'knife-ears' but seems to relish the thought of having his way with some 'elven whores.'

That guy's preferences are wrong. If you're not that guy, you're OK.

[Quincunx]

Pika, you are. . .amazingly intellectually unfree. What sort of antiseptic, inflexibly just, inhuman standard of behavior do you aspire to that, not only do you submit every niggle of potentially unjust behavior to this Greek chorus for approval, but use such inhuman terms as "mates" and "females" for people whom you intend to bond with? I cannot visualize this godhead of justice which lacks an internal arbiter of what's just!

(sighs and ratchets down the vocabulary a few notches) (sneaks back to the ratchet, removes more pressure)

Could you at least show that you've put any thought of your own into these philosophical questions other than "what if I'm wrong"? That's not a lot of insight into what you are and what you think, and now there's enough of these "what if I'm wrong" questions to make me guess there's some comforting test of your urges that you're not testing them with: a test in your head and not just flinging the question to us, people who aren't in the same group as these people who cause you such moral agonies. . .but what?

[Pika...]

Everyone's already answered your question, Pika, but I just wanted to through in my own preference for Latinos and Asians.
Granted, I typically end up dating white men, but preferences aren't the end-all, are they?

We're over there too? And Australian women like us? O.o

Shame you have such large spiders and 10,000+ more deadly poisonous things. :smallfrown:

ps. I have not heard of a single place we have not flooded yet. I swear, I wonder if the Eskimos currently have some of us working for them up there. :smallbiggrin:




But y'know, you should feel glad you know what you like. Me? Other than the fact that I know I like the womenfolk, I can't seem to pick my preference. I thought it was Caucasians with long brown hair and brown eyes. Now? I've been attracted to almost anything. It's annoying.

That actually seems like a good thing to have. It's so imple and does not risk any issues or hard feelings. Basically as long as ithas two legs (is that even a requirement for you?) and is female you are set. :smallsmile:

As mentioned above I worry a bit that a future spouse my start thinking the whole "You only married me because I am x" route. Seen my cousin's brother's wife snap at him like that at a family get together once. Not sure what they were talking about, but basically their first kid had come and it had blue eyes like the blond/blue eyed mother and the family was all over it. Let's just say he got something around that phrase that nigh. :smalleek:

Though I have always found that woman funny. Here I am assimilated into the country's main culture, and she loves everything Hispanic. Not surprising she jumped on that guy the second he got here...

[RabbitHoleLost]

We're over there too? And Australian women like us? O.o

Shame you have such large spiders and 10,000+ more deadly poisonous things. :smallfrown:

ps. I have not heard of a single place we have not flooded yet. I swear, I wonder if the Eskimos currently have some of us working for them up there. :smallbiggrin:

I'm American. :smalltongue:

[Pika...]

Pika, move on down here - it'd practically be paradise for you :smallwink:

Tennessee (TN) correct? I spoke with a lady from there a few days ago inquiring about a property we rent (we are a property rental company, so if anyone is visiting the Disney area here in Florida let me know and I can give the Playgrounders a good rate) who may be booking from there. Yeah, very nice accent. :smallbiggrin:

I love traveling the theme parks here because it is filled with girls who fit my "tastes", and their accents range from country to lovely Irish, Scottish, British, and many more. Country, Irish, and Scottish being my favorites.



I'm American. :smalltongue:

Oops, sorry. Got you confused with someone I think. :smallredface:

[Pika...]

Pika, you are. . .amazingly intellectually unfree. What sort of antiseptic, inflexibly just, inhuman standard of behavior do you aspire to that, not only do you submit every niggle of potentially unjust behavior to this Greek chorus for approval, but use such inhuman terms as "mates" and "females" for people whom you intend to bond with? I cannot visualize this godhead of justice which lacks an internal arbiter of what's just!

(sighs and ratchets down the vocabulary a few notches) (sneaks back to the ratchet, removes more pressure)

Could you at least show that you've put any thought of your own into these philosophical questions other than "what if I'm wrong"? That's not a lot of insight into what you are and what you think, and now there's enough of these "what if I'm wrong" questions to make me guess there's some comforting test of your urges that you're not testing them with: a test in your head and not just flinging the question to us, people who aren't in the same group as these people who cause you such moral agonies. . .but what?


I think I followed you there. If I misinterpreted please forgive me, but I will need to get Dictionary.com out later to review your post.

To the best answer I can produce, I have always sought council when heading in new paths in my life, and making big decisions. It just so happens this is a time of big change.

I analyze such questions like these internally for years (as mentioned in my OP), then ask others their thoughts when I can or am finally ready to proceed in case others can spot things I have missed.

I have a habit of breaking down everything, especially trying to break down how/why I think how I do. This has come out of necessity, and I feel it made the difference between me living life in the loony-bin vs. ending up where I currently am. Therefore I need to break everything going on in my head down, and use whatever means I have to further analyze them (preferably by 3rd parties. And yes, I have a shrink).

For example, right now I am trying to get into the dating scene. Though it has not worked out yet (made some great new friends, though!), I need to be VERY careful. It is much easier for those like me to screw things up relationship wise (50% of all marriages in in divorce. I am six times likelier than the norm to end up divorced) , and I worried this topic could have been a pretty big way fo doing it.


tl;dr Being uber cautious and getting other's non-bios input is a necessity for me. :smallsmile:



ps. As a side fun fact, I have actually internalized such discussions to the point where I debate them with three-way conversations/discussions. I personally attribute this to too man reruns of Tom & Jerry as a kid. Now if only I can get a Modron and Slaadi in there. :/

[Drolyt]

The line which divides the two is choice. If you are attracted to someone, you just are. It's not something we control, and its just what your hormones, genes, and whatnot, is telling you. If you choose preference of a race, culture, or whatever else, then it is prejudice.

It's not choice that divides the two. The way I see, saying "I find people of (insert race/ethnicity/gender/whatever here) are generally more attractive" is like saying "I find people of (insert race/ethnicity/gender/whatever here) are generally taller". It's just a statement of fact. The problem is if you prefer them because they are a certain race/ethnicity/gender/whatever, or if you think people of a certain race/ethnicity/gender/whatever are just better/worse. What the op is describing is of course completely normal. There are two opposing forces in attraction: #1 we often like people similar to ourselves, and #2 we have an instinct to increase genetic diversity. Depending on which instinct is stronger most people will generally either prefer people of their own ethnicity or those of some other ethnicity.

[Jack Squat]

Tennessee (TN) correct? I spoke with a lady from there a few days ago inquiring about a property we rent (we are a property rental company, so if anyone is visiting the Disney area here in Florida let me know and I can give the Playgrounders a good rate) who may be booking from there. Yeah, very nice accent. :smallbiggrin:

That's what the location bar says :smallwink:

I think our Appalachian region (east TN, north-ish Georgia, South Carolina) tend to have the best take on the southern accent, though it seems to (unfortunately) be dying out in younger generations with the increased exposure to media. Or, at least I notice there are more elderly people that have a distinct drawl than people my age. Could just be that this area has become more developed as of late too.

[Pika...]

That's what the location bar says :smallwink:

I think our Appalachian region (east TN, north-ish Georgia, South Carolina) tend to have the best take on the southern accent, though it seems to (unfortunately) be dying out in younger generations with the increased exposure to media. Or, at least I notice there are more elderly people that have a distinct drawl than people my age. Could just be that this area has become more developed as of late too.

Hmm. Gotta travel up there some time.


And I have always wondered, what exactly causes/is an accent anyway? Anyone know?

[Mando Knight]

Pika, you are. . .amazingly intellectually unfree. What sort of antiseptic, inflexibly just, inhuman standard of behavior do you aspire to that, not only do you submit every niggle of potentially unjust behavior to this Greek chorus for approval, but use such inhuman terms as "mates" and "females" for people whom you intend to bond with? I cannot visualize this godhead of justice which lacks an internal arbiter of what's just!

Wow... when you put it that way...
Is it odd that I understood it pretty much entirely on the first read-through?


And I have always wondered, what exactly causes/is an accent anyway? Anyone know?
Exposure to others with an accent causes mental conditioning towards replicating the same accent, especially in childhood. It's a construct that describes something like a linguistic sub-dialect. If you're good at picking up languages and pronouncing their words like a native speaker, you also tend to be able to learn new accents, whether or not you correctly associate the accent with the group you got it from.

[Jack Squat]

And I have always wondered, what exactly causes/is an accent anyway? Anyone know?

Before I explain this, you know the saying "to paint with a broad brush"? Well, I'm going to be painting with a roller.

Generally speaking, accents develop because the original people of that area spoke different languages. When they learned the new language, they still spoke with the inflections of their natural language. Since there's a large enough group there, the accent gets passed on, since the new generation is brought up with the exposure to that accent. On a small scale, you can see the part of exposure when children move to new areas - I know my little brother would come home fairly often from his 3rd grade class with a southern drawl, despite us having just moved from the midwest.

However, there have also been studies indicating that sometimes accents may be genetic, with evidence of that being one of my friends from Virginia who has a strong British accent (dunno which one).

[Mystic Muse]

short answer. No

Long answer. NOOOOOOOOOOO

although you should probably say "think they're more attractive" than "prefer them as a mate"

[Tequila Sunrise]

No, Racism = "This race is always bad... But this race is always good." Not just white people.
Racism applies to other races too. It's surprising, I know, but it actually happens every day. :smalltongue:
ferlz.
I was using white women as an example because that's what the OP is about.


Want to swap places for my queue in line for a latina? :smallsmile:
No thanks, I prefer [east] Asian women. And short women. With black eyes and black hair. Really, it's amazing that I only watch Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon about once a season.

Interesting tidbit on accents that I just learned: Different accents develop more as a result of class/cultural distance than geographic distance. Which is why despite the huge area that the US, Canada and Australia cover, England has several times more accents than any one of the three larger countries. Weird, huh?

[Quincunx]

Mando Knight: Not odd, but rare. You've made my night. :smallsmile:

Pika: That does comfort me to know you're looking for an outside voice, a definitely-not-just-me-talking-to-myself voice after giving it some thought yourself. It's still antiseptic and stripped of human emotion, and a bit scary, but it's comforting to know you deliberately scrubbed the question clean. Please let me give one of the responses you wanted.

Yes, your preferences are racist, but not offensively so. In fact, with the amount of scrubbing and self-editing you do with everything concerned with your family, you can safely say, "I probably wouldn't date someone that resembles my family in any respect. Chances are too good that I'll slip up and attribute one of their bad qualities to her, and that wouldn't be fair to her or to myself. I don't want to feel a need to suppress thoughts about the one I love." 'Most everyone else already gave good guidance about how to not let it slide over into offensive racism.

On accents: Children don't just learn languages, they form them. (Unite children without a common language and they'll make a pidgin amazingly fast--the book's in storage but I remember it being a matter of months before the kids could communicate verbally.) One teacher's (parent's, etc.) slight speech impediment probably becomes the students' (children's, etc.) accent.

[Pika...]

Pika: That does comfort me to know you're looking for an outside voice, a definitely-not-just-me-talking-to-myself voice after giving it some thought yourself. It's still antiseptic and stripped of human emotion, and a bit scary, but it's comforting to know you deliberately scrubbed the question clean. Please let me give one of the responses you wanted.

Huh? I am sorry, did I not properly understand you original post? Or by "scrubbed the question clean" did you mean that I properly answered it?

[Drolyt]

On accents: Words are just sounds. People with different accents are making different sounds, but through very complex brain machinery we only attribute certain patterns to language, and the rest of the sound we call "accent". You can learn to speak in multiple accents, but past childhood it is very, very hard (probably harder than learning a new language). Learning to speak in multiple languages and living among people of different accents helps a lot. Generally, you grow up learning whatever accent is spoken by those around you, but you will always speak a slightly different accent than your parents, which can lead over generations to many different accents, especially if people move around a lot. Genetics also plays a role, since it affects what sounds you can make and how easily you can produce different sounds.

[Mando Knight]

Huh? I am sorry, did I not properly understand you original post? Or by "scrubbed the question clean" did you mean that I properly answered it?
She means that you sanitized it... the "anti-septic" part from her question evokes quite the same meaning that I was getting out of your questions: that you're so afraid of saying something wrong that you use more "clinical" or "mechanical" words that mean pretty much the same thing but have a surgical, almost robotic feeling to them. Diction lends itself a long way to projected emotion, which alters the subtext of the message significantly.

On accents: Children don't just learn languages, they form them. (Unite children without a common language and they'll make a pidgin amazingly fast--the book's in storage but I remember it being a matter of months before the kids could communicate verbally.)
That's true enough that I could tell that to my kid brother and he'd be able to affirm it... stick any group of people together for a while and even if they do share a common language, they'll develop some weird idiosyncratic slang soon enough.

[Drolyt]

The OP's use of terms is odd, but I had assumed that his (is Pikka a he?) use of terms was an attempt to not offend. From the op I can assume that the op is American, and because of America's... history with racism, there is a tendency to be over active in fighting racism at a cultural level (it's even taught in schools), to the point that in certain circles the social backlash against a racist is worse than that against murderers. Given this the op's concern about appearing racist is somewhat normal, even if that was never his intention and regardless of whether he thought he was.

[skywalker]

I can think of racist reasons for such a preference. Men who want an asian woman, for example, because they think she will be more submissive and domestic, or a black woman for perceived likelihood of sexual appetite.

Or far more harmless reasons -- all the friends I've had who taught English overseas found that (some) Japanese and Korean girls like to have a Canadian or American boyfriend, because he treats her less chauvinistically than the local stock.

But all that has to do with culture, often conflated with race. I think aesthetics is a quite neutral and harmless reason for preference. I have an aesthetic preference in that regard myself.

This is the smartest post here.


I think our Appalachian region (east TN, north-ish Georgia, South Carolina) tend to have the best take on the southern accent, though it seems to (unfortunately) be dying out in younger generations with the increased exposure to media. Or, at least I notice there are more elderly people that have a distinct drawl than people my age. Could just be that this area has become more developed as of late too.

A few people in this area (myself included) can sound really different depending on who they talk to. For instance, on campus you might not pick me out to have a strong accent at all (if any). But if you were to hear me talk to my parents, you would hear a completely different voice come out of my mouth. I know a lot of people around here like that, especially among those that go to the University/live in Knoxville, but still have outlying family.


Yes, your preferences are racist, but not offensively so.

I disagree with this. Pika is not saying he prefers women of a particular race because they are across-the-board superior, merely that he prefers them. This cannot be racism. Racism is absolutism, and Pika is being rather obvious in his relativism here, at least in my opinion.

As far as I can tell, Pika is not ascribing any particular traits to any particular race across the board, besides the obvious physical traits which must be ascribed due to the definition of "race."

[Wolfram]

Etnic fetishes aren't racist per se. However, all too commonly, racist imagery and tropes get incorporated into such feitshes.

[Drolyt]

Etnic fetishes aren't racist per se. However, all too commonly, racist imagery and tropes get incorporated into such feitshes.

The op didn't say anything about a fetish though, he essentially said that certain women are prettier and have a hot accent. I realize there are certain... films that could easily be called out as racist, but the op mentioned nothing of the sort.

[Pastafarian]

There is nothing wrong with racial discrimination in cases where there is an undeniable difference between races. Appearance is pretty much the only thing that falls into this category.

[Coidzor]

I mean, the forum meta-conversation we've already been through has it pretty well established as to why you would be this way, at least, partially.

As far as I can tell it's not as bad as the actual self-loathing.

[Drolyt]

There is nothing wrong with racial discrimination in cases where there is an undeniable difference between races. Appearance is pretty much the only thing that falls into this category.

I wouldn't call that discrimination though. Just like not allowing women to donate to a sperm bank isn't discrimination, or not allowing men to work at gentleman's clubs isn't discrimination.

[Coidzor]

I wouldn't call that discrimination though. Just like not allowing women to donate to a sperm bank isn't discrimination, or not allowing men to work at gentleman's clubs isn't discrimination.

And this illustrates the problems we get when we start to use differing definitions, or just become slightly unsure of whether the other guy knows what's being talked about.

It's fun times!

[Drolyt]

And this illustrates the problems we get when we start to use differing definitions, or just become slightly unsure of whether the other guy knows what's being talked about.

It's fun times!

Allow me to amend my comment. I would say the word discrimination technically covers such situations, but shouldn't be used in said situations because the word has come to have negative connotations.

[Moff Chumley]

I think it's actually common to be attracted to people of a different ethnicity, especially if you're say Jewish and were raised being told to go after Jewish girls only.

TELL me about it. :smallsigh:


Most of my friends are not straight and I often feel like the odd one out. It must be how most gay people feel surrounded by straight people. It's very lonely because I don't know anyone that's found themselves feeling that way. And when a straight guys feels it it's almost insulting as we've never been a persecuted minority.

I hear yah.


Welcome to the New World Order, Glug! *maniac gay laughter*

The gay agenda: 99%=be accepted and treated as equals. 1%=take over the world and MAKE IT FABULOUS


Want to swap places for my queue in line for a latina? :smallsmile:

OOH! OOH! ME! PICK ME! :smallamused::smallbiggrin:


Snip

Literally every time you post my respect for you increases. You, my friend, are a badass. :smallsmile:

[Pika...]

OOH! OOH! ME! PICK ME! :smallamused::smallbiggrin:

You'd trade a cute Jewish girl for a Latina?

Hmm...

But I don't want to get circumscribed. Dragonzord would hate me, and ouch... @_@

[Moff Chumley]

{Scrubbed}

[Pika...]

{Scrubbed}

LoL.

I find this amusing, since I just tried messaging a suggested OKCupid "match" who is Middle Eastern (Arab).

[Coidzor]

But I don't want to get circumscribed. Dragonzord would hate me, and ouch... @_@

Wat. Antisemitism?

circumcised (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Circumcision)... not... that (http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/CIRCUMSCRIBED)....Admittedly, I don't want lines drawn around me either, but it's not nearly to that level of reaction...

[Wolfram]

The op didn't say anything about a fetish though, he essentially said that certain women are prettier and have a hot accent. I realize there are certain... films that could easily be called out as racist, but the op mentioned nothing of the sort.

Proclivity, then, though fetish is IMO a respectable term.

[Faulty]

{Scrubbed}

I'm sorry, but I find that rather offensive. People of the same "race" often have more in common with people of other races than other people of their race. Decades and decades ago, Irish and Italian people weren't counted as Caucasian in US censuses. To say that Latina>>Middle Eastern girls is to say that there is one particular body or personality norm that is Latina or Middle Eastern (or Jewish, or African, etc). This is simply not true, and that statement cannot be made without an implicit undertone of stereotyping, essentialism and racism. The fact that we racialize people in our society is bad enough, but to say that "girls of X race are hot" is racist. It just is.

[Roland St. Jude]

Sheriff of Moddingham: This thread is trending both a bit racist and a bit misogynistic. Thread locked.