(3.5) Chubby McChubs

[BooNL]

A while ago, I joked about creating a fat wizard riding on his Tenser's Floating Disk in a thread here. That got me thinking and I actually want to try and make this character a reality.

Wizards are powerful, that's a fact. They also have various means of teleportation, they are protected from the elements (no chance to sweat the fat off) and are generally light on any kind of physical work out. So, it's only natural that wizards have a tendency towards obesety.

I want a fat little munchkin with a serious power trip. He's got an ego the size of a mountain, not to mention the weight of one!

How would you build a wizard focused around these ideas? Any special feats required to show off his laziness, spells required, etc.
Also, how would I be able to show this off starting at level one? My first instinct was having him ride his Tenser's Floating Disk, using a donkey to pull the disk forward. Is this possible, rules wise? Any other levitation abilities I might not be aware of?

[Mongoose87]

Maybe make it something he develops over time: the more powerful a wizard he becomes, the less he relies on his legs, and the more his gut and head expand.

[Sucrose]

If flaws are permitted, along with traits, then Slow and Stout are given, along with the possibilities of Feeble and Noncombatant.

For being able to not move himself, I'd actually recommend just investing in a mount, that he uses EVERYWHERE, when not using a Floating Disk (since he can't make it last all day). Or, perhaps a moving bed of some kind, perhaps carried by servants). To allow for these to still work within an adventuring group, I'd recommend a small race, perhaps Halfling or Strongheart Halfling, thus making your character an archetypal Hobbit wizard.

[Optimystik]

Give him high Con and Int, low Dex and Str. That should simulate being flabby nicely.

Then, create an "Obese" character flaw (http://www.d20srd.org/srd/variant/buildingcharacters/characterflaws.htm) with penalties to something logical (like move speed, or encumbrance) and give yourself a feat reflective of the increased study and sedentariness.

[BooNL]

Actually, the idea popped back into my head after reading Dragon #328 (wanted to know what that Force Missile Mage was all about) and found a couple of race specific flaws.

Under halfling there was the Obese flaw, which basically negated the advantages of small size: lose the +4 to hide and the +1 to attack and AC. I immediately thought "hello fat halfling wizard".

That said, the next campaign I'm about to enter will start at lvl 1 in all likelyhood (and E6 to boot!), so I'm looking for a way to make this character as viable as possible from a low level.

[paddyfool]

Isn't there a trait or template already called Obese which grants extra hp in return for taking something else away?

[Person_Man]

There's Deformity (Obese) from BoVD. +2 Con, +2 Intimidate, +2 Saves vs Poison, -2 Dex. It's actually not that bad of a feat for a Totemist, Deepwarden, or Fist of the Forest.

Also, am I the only one who pictured Rygel from Farcape when reading the OP?

[Drogorn]

Also, am I the only one who pictured Rygel from Farcape when reading the OP?

Most people probably thought of Baron Harkonnen.

[BooNL]

Most people probably thought of Baron Harkonnen.

A bit less evil maybe, but yeah Baron Harokonnen is a good example.

Any thoughts on spells for this character? Grease would be a given, but are there any others that seem appropriate?

[Kris Strife]

I thought you can't ride your own Tenser's Floating Disc?

[Ravens_cry]

I thought you can't ride your own Tenser's Floating Disc?
Doesn't say anything to that effect in my reading of it (http://www.d20srd.org/srd/spells/FloatingDisk.htm). It says it will remain within 5 feet of you, unless otherwise directed. Nothing I see says you can't direct it to come closer.

[Optimystik]

I thought you can't ride your own Tenser's Floating Disc?

You can, it just keeps you from having to walk. Also, the spell states that it moves "at your speed," so it's open to interpretation whether a fat mage riding a floating disk would actually move any more quickly than if he were walking.

To actually fly on a floating disc, you need Greater (Tenser's) Floating Disk, from Spell Compendium.

[Sinfire Titan]

Got some news for you: CO's done a Fat Warforged who killed things by teleporting above them and dealing 60d6 damage to them every round. He only takes 6d6 damage/round because of this.

[Optimystik]

Got some news for you: CO's done a Fat Warforged who killed things by teleporting above them and dealing 60d6 damage to them every round. He only takes 6d6 damage/round because of this.

Ye gods.

Is he a wizard, or a psion/psiforged? That could be really funny.

[Sinfire Titan]

Ye gods.

Is he a wizard, or a psion/psiforged? That could be really funny.

The original build was a Duskblade who used two reserve feats to build up HP, but didn't work until level 20. The finalized build was a Crusader/Swordsage, and could start the shenanigans at level 3. With Adamantine Body.

[Your Nemesis]

Where can I find this build? It intrigues me. I once coup de graced a lvl 20 fighter with my BUTT after beating him in unarmed combat

Ah for the days of Xvart mineral-warrior Lolth-touched warblades with insane jump checks...

[Frosty]

Got some news for you: CO's done a Fat Warforged who killed things by teleporting above them and dealing 60d6 damage to them every round. He only takes 6d6 damage/round because of this.

So they created Tager or Potemkin?

[Person_Man]

Got some news for you: CO's done a Fat Warforged who killed things by teleporting above them and dealing 60d6 damage to them every round. He only takes 6d6 damage/round because of this.

Do you have a link? I think this would actually be a pretty good combo for a Totemist. Deformity (Obese) adds to your Con, Intimidate, and your weight. Make yourself as big/heavy as possible, use a Standard Action attack, and then us Blink Shirt bound to your Totem chakra to Dimension Door above an enemy, falling on them. Maybe even add in Psicrown of the Evader to get Hustle, so you can do it as a Move action.

[Sinfire Titan]

Where can I find this build? It intrigues me. I once coup de graced a lvl 20 fighter with my BUTT after beating him in unarmed combat

Ah for the days of Xvart mineral-warrior Lolth-touched warblades with insane jump checks...

It got eaten by WotC, but I think we managed to transcribe it to BG.

Edit: If we did, I can't find it. I know I've posted it on these boards before, so I'll keep searching.



So they created Tager or Potemkin?


More or less. Only better jumping capabilities.

[Optimystik]

A Psiforged could do it - Share Pain Vigor to boost HP, teleport over the head, and repair powers if his real HP ever accidentally got damaged.

Not nearly as early though, and probably not as often either. But would have more tricks besides the combo.

[Sinfire Titan]

A Psiforged could do it - Share Pain Vigor to boost HP, teleport over the head, and repair powers if his real HP ever accidentally got damaged.

Not nearly as early though, and probably not as often either. But would have more tricks besides the combo.

This one also had other maneuvers readied. That was just the main way of killing things.

[Person_Man]

Well then, let's see what we can do to recreate it.

Races of Eberron oddly doesn't list a weight for Warforged. This article (http://www.wizards.com/default.asp?x=dnd/ebds/20050627a) has a weird description - "Adamantine Body: Its base weight is 320 pounds, with a weight modifier of x6."

What the heck does that mean? Maybe one of the monster manuals will be more helpful...

[Sinfire Titan]

Well then, let's see what we can do to recreate it.

Races of Eberron oddly doesn't list a weight for Warforged. This article (http://www.wizards.com/default.asp?x=dnd/ebds/20050627a) has a weird description - "Adamantine Body: Its base weight is 320 pounds, with a weight modifier of x6."

What the heck does that mean? Maybe one of the monster manuals will be more helpful...

One possible interpretation is it's 320*1d6. Of course, this is incredibly stupid. as you'd weigh nearly a ton at 1st level.

I know Shadow Jaunt and company were involved. Adaptive Style too. Flaws were Obese twice, and Devoted to an Elder Evil to get Willing Deformity for free (following up with WD: Obese ASAP).

[Person_Man]

Well, from what I can garner, you'd need the following:
1) A heavy race
2) Defomity (Obese)
3) Flaw Obese (can you take the same flaw more then once?)
4) Anything that increases size - I'm thinking Expansion, Giant Size, Polmorph. This increases your weight AND your space, which essentially turns you into an area of effect weapon.
5) A high Str, to carry more equipment (although this is probably superfluous)
6) A method of teleporting or flying or jumping above your enemy as efficiently as possible - Blink Shirt or Psionic Dimension Door are probably best.
7) Something that reduces your falling damage without slowing you down, or some form of Fast/Vampiric/etc healing (though this is also unnecessary)
8) A method of standing up from Prone as a free action or avoiding being knocked prone, since when you fall into someone else's space, you are shunted into an unoccupied square and knocked prone. Combat Acrobat from PHBII would work.

[Sinfire Titan]

Well, from what I can garner, you'd need the following:
1) A heavy race
2) Defomity (Obese)
3) Flaw Obese (can you take the same flaw more then once?)
4) Anything that increases size - I'm thinking Expansion, Giant Size, Polmorph. This increases your weight AND your space, which essentially turns you into an area of effect weapon.
5) A high Str, to carry more equipment (although this is probably superfluous)
6) A method of teleporting or flying or jumping above your enemy as efficiently as possible - Blink Shirt or Psionic Dimension Door are probably best.
7) Something that reduces your falling damage without slowing you down, or some form of Fast/Vampiric/etc healing (though this is also unnecessary)
8) A method of standing up from Prone as a free action or avoiding being knocked prone, since when you fall into someone else's space, you are shunted into an unoccupied square and knocked prone. Combat Acrobat from PHBII would work.

@7: You only need to prevent 2d6 damage. Taking Blessing of the Godless from Exemplars of Evil will cover your needs if your party is large enough (6+you).

@8: Robilar's Gambit while prone with that feat from CW that removes the attack penalties from being prone. All of a sudden, you are not a good target.

[Darrin]

Ah yes, the 4500 lbs of Stupid (http://community.wizards.com/go/thread/view/75882/19863510/4500_lbs._of_Stupid?pg=1) thread. It looks like it got transferred over to the new Wizards community.

There may be some unresolved issues with the math involved.

And I think there are some other ways to negate falling damage that don't affect what you're falling on... well, slow fall might actually be useful, for example, or a tumble check. Roof-Jumper or Roofwalker in Cityscape might be worth a look.

[Quietus]

Well then, let's see what we can do to recreate it.

Races of Eberron oddly doesn't list a weight for Warforged. This article (http://www.wizards.com/default.asp?x=dnd/ebds/20050627a) has a weird description - "Adamantine Body: Its base weight is 320 pounds, with a weight modifier of x6."

What the heck does that mean? Maybe one of the monster manuals will be more helpful...

The same as it means for random height/weight generation in the PHB. You take the random rolled height of your Warforged, multiply that by 6, then add 320 lbs.

Alternatively, if this seems low, you could go [random height * random weight * 6] + 320, but that seems silly.

[hamishspence]

Most people probably thought of Baron Harkonnen.

Slaan from Warhammer also have a bit of this- at least in recent editions. Before then, they were carried on a palanquin, and before that, they were a bit different.

[Sinfire Titan]

Ah yes, the 4500 lbs of Stupid (http://community.wizards.com/go/thread/view/75882/19863510/4500_lbs._of_Stupid?pg=1) thread. It looks like it got transferred over to the new Wizards community.

There may be some unresolved issues with the math involved.

And I think there are some other ways to negate falling damage that don't affect what you're falling on... well, slow fall might actually be useful, for example, or a tumble check. Roof-Jumper or Roofwalker in Cityscape might be worth a look.

You found it! Excellent...

[Akal Saris]

I actually made a character based off the idea that hits 20d6 damage at 1st level. Well, 105d6, I think, but it caps at 20d6.

Here's the build below with my math:

Farley the Fat

Desert Half-Orc Conjurer 1

Stats (32 PB):
Str: 10
Dex: 10
Con: 20
Int: 16
Wis: 8
Cha: 8

Feats:
1st char: Toughness (+3HP)
1st vile: Willing Deformity (gained from worshipping an elder evil)
1st flaw: Willing Deformity (Obese)
1st fighter: Toughness (+3 HP) (traded wizard bonus feat for fighter chain)

HP: 4+6+5=15 HP


Obese [Flaw]
Prerequisite: Dexterity 13 or lower, you may not be Lightweight.
Effect: You have double the base weight for your race.* Height and weight modifiers are added normally.* You suffer a -1 penalty to AC and on attack rolls, as well as a -4 penalty on Hide checks.* You must pay double the cost for armor, but not for any magical enhancements the armor might have.* Such armor weighs twice the normal amount.* (Dragon 328)

Willing Deformity (Obese)
x3 weight, +2 con/-2 dex

Enlarge Person spell: x8 weight


base 150 pds, +24 inches (max), x 12 = +288pds = 438 pds.

438 *3 = 1314 pds, *2 = 2628 pds, *8 = 21,028 pds.

max weight is 90pds, so armor at 90 * 8 = +720pds as well!

1d6/200pds, or 105d6, capped at 20d6.

Even without obese or willing deformity, 438+90*8=4224pds, enough to deal 20d6.

can add more with armor, etc.

Spells
- Exped Retreat, Swift (verbal only!)
- Enlarge Person
- Benign Transposition (verbal only!)

Plan: casts enlarge person on himself, then either moves and abrupt jaunts onto an opponent (if no familiar), or has the familiar fly up over the opponent, then benign transposition with the raven and falls down onto the opponent.

[BooNL]

I never stood a chance, the thread was already hijacked by the 13th post... :smallsigh:

Still fat guys dropping on people, awesome!

[term1nally s1ck]

Magic of Incarnum, Blink Shirt. 20' teleport with no feat investment. Grab the chakra bind and you can do it twice.

Now pump your jump and tumble ranks, and you can negate all falling damage.

EDIT: Ye gods, this is L1. Cheese.

[Person_Man]

Hmmm. So let's say you wanted to do a non-broken version of this, that a DM might actually accept. Getting a weight of around 300lbs seems pretty easy without any feat investment or Dragon magazine material. Use Enlarge Person or Expansion, and you're up to 2400 lbs. 2400/200 = 12d6 damage. Not bad for an area of effect attack.

Of course, it should be noted that your movement through enemy's threatened areas and into their squares provoke an attack of opportunity. So you better have ridiculous AC, miss chance, or a Claws of the Vampire-ish combo. Hmmm...


Burger King of Smack!!!

Warforged Totemist 3/Psychic Warrior 4/Soul Manifester (http://www.wizards.com/default.asp?x=dnd/psm/20060217a) X

Soulmelds: Blink Shirt bound to Totem chakra, and your choice of fun.

Psionic Powers: Claws of the Vampire, Claws of the Beast, Expansion, Hustle.

Feat Options: Adamantine Body, Willing Deformity -> Deformity Obese and/or Deformity Tall, Dodge -> Karmic Strike, Midnight Augmentation, Combat Reflexes, Combat Acrobat, Weapon Finesse or Intuitive Strike (depending on if your Wis or Dex are higher), Double Chakra (Totem).

Combos:

The Whooper: Use Expansion. Dimension Door above enemies. Fall on them. Everyone provokes attacks, and you get a free hit on everyone who hits you. You can do this 3 times per round with Hustle.
Feed Me!!!: People hit you, you hit them back and heal damage.
Smashy Smashy: Bind Basalisk Mask to your Totem as well. Turn someone into Stone (Hardness 8, 15 hp per inch of thickness), then Hustle to Dimension Door above him.
We Make it Your Way: Although you're hurting for feats and your BAB sucks, you still have the rest of your psionic powers and soulmelds to play around with.