A bit of a social problem

[toddex]

I am going crazy! I just moved to a new area so im job hunting and doing all that jazz... but im going insane! My only social interactions beyond the 'hello' 'how did your day go?' with the room mates are through WoW. I live with a friend ive known since middle school but he has a girlfriend who demands most of his time and attention at all points. I dont drink, well I guess that isnt entirely true, I dont party, rarely do I ever imbibe alcohol.

I guess thats where my problem lays, its very hard to find friends my age who just hang out, watch movies, play games, play PnP games, and generally have a good time without alcohol! My attempts of meeting friends at the local book store / comic shop have failed terribly. Not because of any social short comings of mine but the people are usually very young or the typical unwashed fat anime nerd... (yes elitist I know) I definitely grow more home sick each day... Things were way easier in a college setting. I would just head down to the gamers club or the anime club and hang out for awhile :(

[Partof1]

I think that kinda goes with the territory. When your interests consist of staying in, gaming, and watching movies, its hard to associate with people you don't already know well enough to invite into your home. :)

[Tavar]

Try Meetup.com? I was having similar problems, and it actually worked, at least in regards to meeting new groups.

[toddex]

I think that kinda goes with the territory. When your interests consist of staying in, gaming, and watching movies, its hard to associate with people you don't already know well enough to invite into your home. :)

Im all for going out, just not to bars.... I really didnt want to create a giant list in my original post, or I would have called it 'STUFF I LIKE TO DO'.

[Brother Oni]

Things might get a bit easier once you find a job and start socialising with your workmates. In my experience that'll take a little while though (you're there to work, not to socialise after all).

Have you tried joining a club/hobby class/gym?

[toddex]

Things might get a bit easier once you find a job and start socialising with your workmates. In my experience that'll take a little while though (you're there to work, not to socialise after all).

Have you tried joining a club/hobby class/gym?

My own hobbies consist of reading, gaming, and writing heh. I guess I could look around for art workshops or things like that = \.

I dont have a gym membership, I usually hit the pavement rocky style!

[Sucrose]

My own hobbies consist of reading, gaming, and writing heh. I guess I could look around for art workshops or things like that = \.

I dont have a gym membership, I usually hit the pavement rocky style!

You could join a book club, if you're willing to read a rather broad spectrum of books.

[xPANCAKEx]

i don't drink at all

most of my friends do. A lot.

how do we get on you ask? i go out, and just... don't drink. You can go to bars with your friends, doesn't mean you have to drink with them. You may be suprised to hear that many bars offer a range of non-alcoholic beverages ;)

go out more, and that will create more opertunties to get to know people enough to invite them round

Its more the social intimacy of it. Bars or other public places are very relaxed, but going to someones house requires a far bigger degree of trust. Sounds silly i know, but its true

[thubby]

take a course at the local college, you're bound to meet people with similar interests. well, if it doesn't bankrupt you.

[Ichneumon]

I don't drink..... alcohol either.

However, there is nothing wrong with ordering a glass of apple juice in a bar.:smallamused:

[Hazkali]

There are groups for all of your hobbies. Writer's groups, book groups, wargaming groups, they'll all be around somewhere. Keep an eye open in shop windows and noticeboards as sometimes these groups advertise. Otherwise, if you've got a friendly local gaming shop you could ask them if there's a gaming club nearby, chances are they'd know.

Plus I second the "go out even if you don't drink" idea. Even just keep it as an option, in case some potential friends ask you out for a beer- you're more likely to alienate them if you refuse as opposed to meeting them halfway. I know several people who don't drink for a broad range of reasons, and they still have a good time on the dancefloor.

[Don Julio Anejo]

To reiterate what everyone has said... Just because you don't drink, doesn't mean you can't go to a bar. Trust me, unless it's a college bar where it's mandatory to take a shot anytime Robin Scherbatsky says "hm, uhm," no-one will mind if you're just sipping coke. Also, an invitation to go out for a few beers is an invitation to socialize, not drink beer per se. It's exactly the same as an invitation to go for coffee.

Meeting people in a bar.. Is IMO harder unless you like a sport and you go to a sports bar. But then, I don't frequent laid back neighbourhood kind of bars (I'm usually out with friends to party when I'm in bars) so others would know more. Party bars/dance clubs are not the best place to meet people for any purpose other than, well, what's a good euphemism here?

Now, your hobbies isn't something I know much about (even though I hang out on this forum sometimes), but... I'm pretty sure there's game stores in the area that host tournaments or games or whatnot.

Also, here's a hint - try to quit WoW. You'll be bored to the point you'll randomly walk into random places just to do something. Making friends along the way.

[jlvm4]

I am going crazy! I just moved to a new area so im job hunting and doing all that jazz... but im going insane! My only social interactions beyond the 'hello' 'how did your day go?' with the room mates are through WoW. I live with a friend ive known since middle school but he has a girlfriend who demands most of his time and attention at all points. I dont drink, well I guess that isnt entirely true, I dont party, rarely do I ever imbibe alcohol.
(

There's been a fair amount of good advice, but I had a couple additional thoughts/questions:

Could you incorporate said friend's girlfriend in the process? My social circle tends to be mixed (skewed toward guys, but...). Anyway, if there's something she might like to do with you and your friend, it might be the first step toward reconnecting with the friend. It sounds like you've been at a distance for a while, so you probably will have to work to get back into your old 'groove' with your friend anyway.

Where abouts are we talking here? You said new area, but didn't say a country or even an area of the country. If you said Central Texas, for example, people might offer ideas for gaming conventions or other localish events or hangouts.

Just remember, these things take time. Only in school (high or college) do you get the opportunity and free time to meet like-minded people with regularity. Once the 'real world' starts, your pool of people narrows dramatically, even if you work at it. So give it some time and keep your eyes open. Good luck.

[Moff Chumley]

Do something highly illegal, like credit card fraud. You meet lots of interesting people in prison! [/sarcasm]

In my experience, looking for friends is not something that works especially well. They just happen, and slowly. :smallsigh:

[Corlindale]

If it is in any way something you could be interested in, you could try to join an organization that does volunteer work of some kind. It's a nice way to both do something for others and get to know new people - and because the people you get to know are the sort of people that will dedicate time to help others, they will often tend to be nice people as well :smallsmile:

[Gaelbert]

One major way of making friends is becoming acquainted with friends of friends. If you have anyone, even just one person that you actually do hang out with or are friendly with, see if they can do a group whatever it is you do. Then meet the person he or she brings along, and there you have it.

[Don Julio Anejo]

Drunk correction from my phone on the way home: bars are great if you want to get smoked in pool by a couple of American jarheads.

[toddex]

There's been a fair amount of good advice, but I had a couple additional thoughts/questions:

Could you incorporate said friend's girlfriend in the process? My social circle tends to be mixed (skewed toward guys, but...). Anyway, if there's something she might like to do with you and your friend, it might be the first step toward reconnecting with the friend. It sounds like you've been at a distance for a while, so you probably will have to work to get back into your old 'groove' with your friend anyway.

Where abouts are we talking here? You said new area, but didn't say a country or even an area of the country. If you said Central Texas, for example, people might offer ideas for gaming conventions or other localish events or hangouts.

Just remember, these things take time. Only in school (high or college) do you get the opportunity and free time to meet like-minded people with regularity. Once the 'real world' starts, your pool of people narrows dramatically, even if you work at it. So give it some time and keep your eyes open. Good luck.

Montana, actually an hour and a half away from the bigger cities. I think I'll take up the idea to volunteer for random things, couldnt hurt.

[Thrawn183]

Volunteer: meet other people who volunteer

See, it's that easy. Instead of finding things you like to do that are alone, try finding things you like to do that involve other people.

Work: Get on this. 1) People like hanging out with other successful people. Nobody likes introducing themselves as not having a job (as the last 8 months have taught me). 2) Work is one of the best places to become friends with people ever invented. Once you have coworkers, invite them over for dinner occasionally, really take the initiative on this one.

Alcohol: if you show you don't have a problem with drinking, people generally won't have a problem with you not drinking. Also, people love dedicated drivers. I live within walking distance to the bars I frequent, but I know plenty of people who would kill for a DD.

Lastly, and I know you may not want to hear this, but every moment of you playing WoW is a moment you could be meeting people and being less bored. MMO's are excusable for people who are happy with their lives/ have their lives under control. You clearly are unemployed and lacking a social life, so no WoW for you! (at least until you get those 2 things fixed) Really your goal should be so busy as to not have time for an MMO.

[V for Victory]

Randomly start games of tag with strangers?