Musical plot 1 and a half [Town]

[Beans]

She reads it.

[Durp]

Get in here, before the damn helicopter lands on you.
-S.P.I.R.E
An explosion is heard, and it doesn't sound like a S.P.I.R.E-y explosion. (Theirs is more flashy.)

[Beans]

She goes into the worst level of the game: the sewer level.

[Durp]

She'll hear the helicopter land in the alley, and explode again. A neon orange arrow is spray painted on the wall.

<--- GET TO THE POWER JUNCTION.

[Beans]

She gets away from da choppa and goes to find the computer room get to the powa junkshun.

[Durp]

She's walks, and occasionally hears a scratching sound from the river.
Psycho killer...
It's been a while.

[Beans]

I don't remember that person.
... Mortician?

[Durp]

Apparently, Thy does.
He rises (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l5zFsy9VIdM) out of the river of... stuff.

Look, we need eachother, 'cause if they don't leave, we'll all die.

They can’t seem to face up to the facts.
You're tense and nervous and yah... can’t relax.
You can’t sleep, cause you'll get killed by S.P.I.R.E.
Don’t stop because you'll soon get tired.

They're comin' for ya and you need my help.
Too young to die, 'cause you're just a whelp.
Just follow me, and you might still be alive.
Don't think about it, just take the dive.

Psycho Killer
Qu'est-ce que c'est?
fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa better
Run run run run run run run away


They start an occupation, and they can't even finish it.
They're looking a lot, but they're not finding anything.
When they have nothing to find, your fate is sealed..
They'll Nuke us once, then do it again.

Psycho Killer,
Qu'est-ce que c'est?
fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa better
Run run run run run run away


Psycho Killer
Qu'est-ce que c'est?
fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa better
Run run run run run run away


You'll all be dead, and so will I.
I might be sick, but i don't wanna die.
I'll help you out, and get you to S.P.I.R.E
better than dying in nuclear fire. ... okay
They are vain and we are blind
I hate people when they're not polite

Psycho Killer,
Qu'est-ce que c'est?
fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa better
Run run run run run run away

[Beans]

... Okay then.
Um...
Thanks?

[Durp]

He gets out of the water.
Right. We gotta kill the guy heading this occupation. I need your hep to get me in there. The rebels, including you, are gonna storm the place soon, and you'll all get butchered, no matter how much spiral power you got. I need you to convince them that i'm on their side, and get me into that capital building the day of the charge. I'll kill the head general, and not get nuked, and you guys won't be oppressed by a fascist government. And not get nuked. 'Kay?

[Beans]

Hm. It involves me not dying...
How do I convince them you're on their side? I'm target practice for them.

[Durp]

I mean the Rebels. they like you. Just tell 'em you know Chris. He's all S.P.I.R.E came for. Now they have him. So they're just gonna leave, and nuke the crap outta us. Just talk to the rebels, tell them i'm cool, and get me inside the capitol building, in a tank or something. I dunno.

Pretty good at bargaining for a sewer rat.
Redna stands around 10 feet to the left of them.

[Beans]

Okay... yeah...

*sigh*
Hey, Redna.

[Durp]

I don't like you hanging out with serial killers. Especially at your age. Get away from him.

Mortician is about to duck under the water, but is grabbed by a wet, unhappy Angie.
Going somewhere?
Sam ducks out of a pipe as well.
What the hell is she doing here?

[Beans]

She steps quickly back.
I'm here because if I were up there, I would have helicopter bits all over me.
I just wanna... um...
I guess I wanna find Chris...
She rubs her cheek.
Wait, are you guys canon or timey-wimey?

[Durp]

No, i mean, what are you doing in this time period? You've got time machine stink all over you.
It's not another one of those time-honeymoon things, is it?
Quiet, both of you. Look, we have a plan that's better than the rat's.

[Beans]

... What's the plan?
And this isn't something he or I wanted to do...
She fiddles with the sniper scope.

[Durp]

We take Chris from S.P.I.R.E, and let them kill the rebels. No risk.
That's just plain evil.
Shut up.

[Beans]

... I can dig it...
... Wait, won't he sorta hate me for leaving the rebels to rot?

[Durp]

... Maybe a little.
He'll hate you as much as he hates twilight.
Can you shut up?

[Beans]

... Okay... I personally don't know how I'd react to him hating me.
But the other three? Yeah, they'd rather not be hated by their husband.
I'm getting overruled here...
She sighs.
I'm sure neither Sam nor Angie has seen this one (Hate) before.

[Durp]

My plan it is.
Fine. By the way, what's with the new voice?

[Beans]

Oh. Hey.
You probably know the other three, right?
Well, I'm the bright young thing (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZenWw6nleiQ) who's been locked in the basement most of the time. You can call me Hate.

I am the worm in the apple pie
Fake abuse for the morgue, blacken everyone's eyes
Grass isn't greener on the other side
I set it on fire, and I have no reason why

I set death tolls, not follow
Spit vitriol, not swallow
I set death tolls, not follow
Spit vitriol, not swallow

Good was taken, so I'm stuck with
Everything that's bad
Good was taken, so I'm stuck with
Everything that's bad

I know who I am and what I want to say
And I don't care who's listening
I don't raise hell to sell, it just suits me well
I'm a bright young thing

I've got my noose-shaped necktie
And a mouth of hi-fi
So sharp, I'm bleeding from my Judas hole
I'm the Arch Psycho
No-goodnik and I'm headed for Hateville
I'm a li'l monster with the black box
In the Hate Show

I set death tolls, not follow
Spit vitriol, not swallow
I set death tolls, not follow
Spit vitriol, not swallow

Good was taken, so I'm stuck with
Everything that's bad
Good was taken, so I'm stuck with
Everything that's bad

I know who I am and what I want to say
And I don't care who's listening
I don't raise hell to sell, it just suits me well
I'm a bright young thing

Crashing and burning
I got the oldest stereotype
Even neophytes bow to the new strife
I don't need to move a single bloodied bone
I'm not pretty but I'm damned
Simply as Anti-life

Perpetual destruction with absolutely no cause
Perpetual destruction with absolutely no cause
Perpetual destruction with absolutely no cause
Perpetual destruction with absolutely no cause

Stop the song and remember what I used to be
Somebody that didn't despise me

I know who I am and what I want to say
And I don't care who's listening
I don't raise hell to sell, it just suits me well
I'm a bright young thing

I know who I am and what I want to say
And I don't care who's listening
I don't raise hell to sell, it just suits me well
I'm a bright young thing

Good was taken, so I'm stuck with
Everything that's bad
Good was taken, so I'm stuck with
Everything that's bad

[Durp]

Sam, Redna, and The Mortician look scared out of their minds. Angie gives her a look.
Y'know, no matter how hate filled and angry you are, you're still married to my little brother, and you're really not helping your case here.
She makes little squishing noises.

Riiight. Okay, so are we gonna do this or not?

[Beans]

Sam, Redna, and The Mortician look scared out of their minds. Angie gives her a look.
Y'know, no matter how hate filled and angry you are, you're still married to my little brother, and you're really not helping your case here.
She makes little squishing noises.

Riiight. Okay, so are we gonna do this or not?
... They didn't let me out for the wedding... or anything... I barely know Chris...
Yeah, let's... do something.

[Durp]

The other Wogals walk off, including Redna, And the Mortician beckons.
Off we go.

[Beans]

Hatey follows, still looking a bit... confused about stuff.

[Durp]

The Mortician points to a manhole, opening up to the mall plaza, with rebels.

[Beans]

Thryza sloooowly lifts up the cover like an adolescent mutated chelonian assassin.

[Durp]

If you're not a sight for sore eyes, i don't know what is.
Hey, whaddya know? Candido's alive. he shoves his hand down for her to grab.

[Beans]

She grabs the hand and is presumably halped up.

[Durp]

(( I guess i should kick this thread in the ass and start it up again, huh? ))
He helps her up and points to the capital building.
Here we are. Presumably, Chris is in there. We just have to fish him out. That, and cripple the S.P.I.R.E forces.
(( ACH! Back in an hour. ))

[Beans]

Alrighty...
What's Chris like?
She rubs her neck.
I mean, I presumably marry the guy, yet I know just about jack about him...

[Durp]

(( That took around an hour longer than expected... ))
Most impulsive, annoying jerk i know. But he brings new ideas, and new hope. That's what's important.

[Beans]

Hatey smiles, sorta.
Then let's go get that sonovab[words]h.
My sonovab[words]h...?

[Durp]

By the way, what were you doing in the sewer? That place is dangerous.

[Beans]

I guess I fit right in then.

[Durp]

That so?
He walks up to a trench. There's a thumping from a nearby sewer grate.
PSST! Remember the plan!

[Beans]

Indeed.
So, we gonna save Chris or not?
Even after backreading, I'm unsure of the plan.
Sort of.
Get the Resistance's trust, rite?

[Durp]

For Mr. Morty. Essentially, tell them he's a great guy and all that. He needs the rebels' help to get inside the place, so he can kill the head general.
We need to set up a bit. All our trucks and buses could use a little fixing up, and i'm sure the troops on the south end could use some food.

[Beans]

We could divert some manpower to that if we had some spare offensive clout to put in their place.
Luckily, I can help supply it.

[Durp]

How so, Private?

[Beans]

In the ooky spooky sewers, I happened to find someone who hates SPIRE about as much as we do.
The Mortician.

[Durp]

Jack gives a wary glance.
He's crazy as a fox. He killed half a squad i sent down there.

[Beans]

In that case, I'm at least a fox and a half.
And I went there and talked to him and all that fun not-dyingy stuff.
He's come to terms with what he hates, and that's SPIRE.
We get him out, point him the right way.
Tell him "Spire over there, kill they ass."

[Durp]

Alright, but if he so much scratches one of us, he's fried.

[Beans]

I'll make sure he's a good boy.
She stomps on a nearby sewer grate.

[Durp]

Ow!
He slithers through the grate, grunting at the bright sun.
Fast talker.
He puts on a big ol' coat, and walks over to Jack.
Get in the drillbus, freak.
Straightforward, i like that.
Morty walks into a bus (With a giant drill mounted on the front), as Candido growls slightly.
Alright... We should be set to take the place down. You ready?

[Beans]

More ready than Teddy freaking Roosevelt.
My favorite President. He's just so EPIC.

[Durp]

(( He's everyone's favorite! LOOK AT THE GUY! ))
Jack draws his katana, and all the troops rise. A great war cry rises, and they charge, the mortician sitting comfortably in his bus. That machete is looking pretty good to Thy right about now.

GO. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aWxBrI0g1kE)

Another mission,
The powers have called us away.
Another time,
To carry the colors again.
My motivation,
An oath I've sworn to defend.
To win the honor,
Of coming back home again.
No explanation,
Will matter after we begin.
Another dark destroyer that's buried within,
My true vocation.
And now my unfortunate friend,
You will discover,
A war you're unable to win.


I'll have you know,
That we've become...

Indestructible.
Determination that is incorruptible.
From the other side.
A terror to behold.
Annihilation will be unavoidable.
Every broken enemy will know,
That their opponent had to be invincible.
Take a last look around while you're alive,
We are indestructible masters of war.

Another reason.
Another cause for us to fight.
Another fuse uncovered,
Now, for us to light.
our dedication,
To all that we've sworn to protect.
they carry out their orders,
Without a regret.
A declaration,
Embedded deep under their skin.
A permanent reminder,
Of how it began.
No hesitation,
When they am commanded to strike.
they need to know,
That they're living the fight of their life.


they will be shown,
How we've become...


Indestructible.
Determination that is incorruptible.
From the other side.
A terror to behold.
Annihilation will be unavoidable.
Every broken enemy will know,
That their opponent had to be invincible.
Take a last look around while you're alive,
we are indestructible masters of war.

We're...

Indestructible.
Determination that is incorruptible.
From the other side.
A terror to behold.
Annihilation will be unavoidable.
Every broken enemy will know,
That their opponent had to be invincible.
Take a last look around while you're alive,
we are indestructible.

[Beans]

Thryza whistles Turisas's "Battle Metal" under her breath and draws the machete of GREAT JUSTICE.
Let's make s[words]t dead.

[Durp]

There are iron X's and barbed wire in front of the place, as well as trenches. The buses and trucks plow through, with infantry falling in behind. Suddenly, Gigantic machine guns roar to life, and the capitol building's roof explodes to reveal giant robots, guns protruding from every imaginable place. There's a great scream of bullets, injured soldiers, explosions, and death that could deafen a man. Thy breaks into the front line, along with fellow soldiers, as the S.P.I.R.E troops draw chainswords.

[Beans]

She laughs insanely as she begins dealing out death to the soldiers. She revels in the blood that splashes over her; if she can, she picks up a chainsword with her free hand and starts to subscribe to the Rule of Cool.

[Durp]

The rule of cool has a new subscription. They spearhead through the S.P.I.R.E forces, the rest of the rebels lagging behind.
Get on the truck! We need to get the mortician in there!

[Beans]

Thryza leaps onto the truckmobile, soaked in blood.
Morty, ready to DO STUFF?!

[Durp]

You bet!
They're in the building, and suddenly Morty's gone. He's good.
Now we have to find Chris! Let's go!
He jumps off the truck, along with a few soldiers, And starts killing people. He points in a general direction.
KILL THAT WAY!

[Beans]

Thryza kills that way.
KILL THIS WAYYYYY. THRILL THIS WAYYYYYYYY.

[Durp]

They eventually find a big ol' table, with Chris tied to it.
YO! HELP ME OUT HERE!

[Beans]

Thryza hurls the chainsword into a guard's face, then leaps atop the table and begins freeing Chris.
She's bloody and grinning and crazy-looking.
By the way, thanks for the 'nade launcher earlier.

[Durp]

You're welcome. Now get me outta here.
The straps begin to give.

[Beans]

She tries to fully free him.
Here's the point where I say you look cute tied down.
Slice bonds!
Now let's go not be here.

[Durp]

He gets up.
Not so damn fast.
Oh boy, it's everyone's favorite in-law. The doors seal. Jack's eyes widen. Boss fight.

[Beans]

O hai der.
Thryza licks blood from her lip, scraping the machete against the table edge.

[Durp]

Dad pulls out a magnum. Not a DR magnum, however. A regular one. Or, rather, a bolter. He fires at Chris, who ducks, and blows the table in question in half.

[Beans]

Thryza has the rifle on her back still.
No way to use it here. Yet.
She leaps out of the way.
O lawd, we's gon' rock this town like a tectonic collision.

[Durp]

Chris pulls out his trusty crowbar, and runs forward. Jack follows. They swing, almost in unison, Dad easily blocking both with his gun, barely breaking a sweat. Jack gets punted in the mouth, and Chris dodges a shot from the revolver.

[Beans]

Thryza goes in, ducking and weaving and bobbing and tacking and all that gud stuff.

[Durp]

Dad parries with his GUN, and takes a swing at her, still shooting at Chris with one hand.

[Beans]

She gets a glancing blow and goes again from a weird angle.
And, trying to set him off balance...
I'm gonna marry your son in the future, by the way.
Heh.

[Durp]

Suddenly, Chris straightens up, and stops ducking and weaving and such.
WHAT?!
He catches one straight in the forehead, and drops.
You were saying...?

[Beans]

... FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU---
She begins attacking with fury. Smooth, controlled fury. Like a river of fire.
Genuinely a threat now.

[Durp]

He catches one in the shoulder, and the side. He grunts.
Erph. Screw this, i got what i came for.
His rocket boots flare to life, and he speeds out of the roof.

[Beans]

Thryza drops the machete, cradles Chris's head in her lap, and sobs.
... Why did you die before I could know you?
Why did the others get to know you but I didn't?
And it's my fault...

[Durp]

Jack drops to a kneeling position.
... Holy s**t.

[Beans]

Thryza can't stop sobbing.
I love you.
I love you, goddammit, and I never got to know it.
Just... be alive again!
DAMMIT, LIVE!

[Durp]

No dice. He's dead as a doornail..

[Beans]

She curls up, sobbing brokenly.

[Durp]

Jack reaches for her arm.
C'mon, this building's gonna collapse.

[Beans]

She tries to drag Chris's body out with 'em.

[Durp]

Jack helps, draping his coat over his face. The building starts to shake. Rubble falls, covering the doorway.
CRAP! Other way!

[Beans]

Other way.
She's fueled by... raw negative emotion, carrying Chris like nothing at all.

[Durp]

Rubble continues to fall. Suddenly, the ceiling collapses, separating Thy from Chris' body and Jack.

[Beans]

Thryza goes quantum.
She lets herself run any way she can to freedom.
Freedom and life and moping.

[Durp]

Another collapse, and she's under around a ton of rubble. There's wiggle room, but not too much.

[Beans]

She curls up and sighs.
... I guess this is it.
The end.
If there's anyone listening... could I please share an afterlife with Chris?

[Durp]

There's a tapping on the rubble. More tapping. Suddenly, the giant rock lifts, showing a grinning Chris, blue tattoos flaring wildly on his body.
Looks like you won't have to.

[Beans]

Thryza's head explodes with joy.
But---how---
She sits up.
I, um... I'm sorry for making you die.

[Durp]

Oh, shut up and make out with me already.
He shoves over the rock.

[Beans]

Finally, I get my turn.
Nom nom nom.

[Durp]

Nom. Whee!
He picks her up, and walks out, Jack waiting with the army.
HOOT HOOT HOOT!
The army yells rather "encouraging" things to them, smiles on everyone's faces.

[Beans]

Heh, I never even got a chance to do my last musical number She chuckles.
It doesn't really fit now, but who the hell cares?!
I'll just make up a WHOLE NEW ONE!

[Durp]

Eh. Mine's too hard to edit anyway. ALRIGHT, EVERYBODY SING!!!! (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IHWeuQyFouo)

Well you can tell
by the way I talk my talk
I am Thryza's man
no time to talk
Music loud and woman warm
I've been kicked around
since I was born

And now it's all right, it's ok
and you should look the other way
We can't try to understand
The S.P.I.R.E's effect on man

Whether you're my brother
or whether you're a mother
you're stayin' alive, stayin' alive
Feel the city breakin
and everybody shakin'
and were stayin' alive, stayin' alive
Ah, ha, ha, ha, stayin' alive, stayin' alive
Ah, ha, ha, ha, stayin' alive

Well now I get low and I get high
And if I can't get either, I really try
Got the wings of heaven on my shoes
I'm a dancin man and I just can't lose

You know it's all right, it's ok
I'll live to see another day
We can try to understand
The S.P.I.R.E's effect on man


middle of nowhere
come on and follow me
come on and follow me, yeah
Middle of nowhere
come on and follow me
come on and follow me, yeah
Stayin' alive

Well you can tell
by the way I skip in my walk
I'm an army man
no time to talk
Music loud and woman warm
I've been runnin' around
since I was born

And now it's all right, it's ok
and you may look the other way
We can try to understand
The Spiral power's effect on man

[Beans]

Needs moar metul.
WHICH I will supply... BEHOLD!
THE PAINKILLERS!
Hell yeah. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WS6-vI70oc0)
Faster than a bullet
Terrifying scream
In love and full of awesome
We're part human, part machine

Riding Metal Monsters
Breathing smoke and fire
Closing in with kickass, soaring high

We are the Painkillers
These are the Painkillers

Planet's devastated
Mankind's on its knees
Saviours come from out the skies
In answer to their pleas

Through boiling clouds of thunder
Blasting bolts of steel
Evil's going under deadly wheels

We are the Painkillers
These are the Painkillers

Faster than a lazer bullet
Louder than an atom bomb
Chromium plated boiling metal
Brighter than a thousand suns

Flying high on rapture
Strong and free and brave
Nevermore encaptured
He's been brought back from the grave

With Chris all ressurrected
Forever to survive, we
Return from Armageddon to the skies

We are the Painkillers
These are the Painkillers
Hands of steel Painkillers
Deadly wheels Painkillers

We are the Painkillers
These are the Painkillers
We are the Painkillers
These are the Painkillers

Pain, Pain
Killers, Killers
Pain, Pain
Killers, Killers

Can't stop the Painkillers
Pain!

[Durp]

And they hop on their gigantic choppers of disco and metal and ride into the distance, being awesome. TO THE PRESENT!
(( Deadtime. ))