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oxinabox
2010-02-08, 11:02 PM
Ok , Mr Welsh's list is kinda legendary.
I haven't read it in full in years,
Here a link: 1600 things mr welsh must not do (http://theglen.livejournal.com/16735.html)

Wich ones have you done, (Please put in bold as follows)

give abit of context.

270. I cannot derail the adventure for a two hour in character discussion on the qualities of rope.
it wasn't 2 hours but it was quiet a while (10 minutes? in game greater than half an hour).
it was 6 strand braied 3mm diameter kevlar core, 16 strain polyethane sheathing,
Shock loadable up to 200 short tonne, normal loadable 400 short tonne.
Neutral boyancy at ~2m
(I was GM, and the palyers were getting a equitpemnt load out, the stats for the rope i came up with of the top of my head, I beleive this is suitbale rope for use in lightweight racing yatchs, though it's abit thin (depending on the sheth thickness) for hand hauling)


Have you every used Mr welches list as a check list?

Splendor
2010-02-08, 11:28 PM
I went too 100... list is too long

7. Not allowed to use psychic powers to do the dishes
-Mage hand, Unseen Servent
32. I cannot buy any animal in groups of 100 or over.
--Cats are good for traps
38. When investigating evil cultists not allowed to just torch the decrepit mansion from the outside.
--Smoke inhalation kills too
65. There is no Summon Bimbo spell.
--But summon servant and Unseen Servant, Mass are spells.

Starscream
2010-02-08, 11:30 PM
"410. If the NPC is on the cover of the rulebook, I can't kill him." - It was an accident, I swear. I was just trying to knock him unconscious. Who would have thunk that all of my sneak attack dice would come up as sixes? The odds were 1 in 1296! It was just enough.

"513. Trying to rip the face off the villain will not get the Scooby-Doo ending." - Okay, this one was the DM messing with us. Everything had pointed to this guy being a decoy for the real villain. And he went down way too easy. While we waited for the Disguise Self spell to wear off so we could discover who it was that was working for the BBEG, a lot of Scooby Doo jokes were cracked, and the DM got annoyed and decided to throw us a curve ball. Turned out it was a fake, but then the real one was watching and used Benign Transposition to switch places with his minion when we tied him up.

Grumman
2010-02-09, 12:22 AM
"17. Collateral Damage Man is not an appropriate name for a super hero."

My first and main custom hero in Freedom Force vs. The Third Reich was a min-maxed superhero called Collateral Damage Man. He had immunity to the Energy damage type, immunity to knockback, and grenades. These grenades had the largest blast radius, the largest vertical knockback and the cheapest damage type: conversion of objects into energy. They also split into four when he threw them.

Collateral Damage Man could annihilate an entire city block with a single throw. And any opponent would suffer a similar fate, being caught in the explosion of every lamppost, letter box and piece of rubble in the area, before being flung high into the sky and crashing into the ground again.

hewhosaysfish
2010-02-09, 08:52 AM
"513. Trying to rip the face off the villain will not get the Scooby-Doo ending." - Okay, this one was the DM messing with us. Everything had pointed to this guy being a decoy for the real villain. And he went down way too easy. While we waited for the Disguise Self spell to wear off so we could discover who it was that was working for the BBEG, a lot of Scooby Doo jokes were cracked, and the DM got annoyed and decided to throw us a curve ball. Turned out it was a fake, but then the real one was watching and used Benign Transposition to switch places with his minion when we tied him up.

WTF?

Phew, that was a close one! They nearly saw through my cunning ploy but I have salvaged it with a bit of last minute brilliance!
I've tricked them into thinking they have captured me when if fact they've captured me pretending to be a decoy pretending to be me!
Now, I can pretend to rot in jail while my expendable henchman goes free to carry out my nefarious plans! Muahahaha!
Those heroes are so gullibe; I'm so glad I hired a decoy.


A true evil genius...

Vauron
2010-02-09, 10:36 AM
I'm fairly sure he meant that 'tied up decoy' switched places with 'fully buffed and annoyed BBEG'.

Kris Strife
2010-02-09, 10:40 AM
Actually, it seems like a Dr. Doom type scheme. At the last minute, before your henchman succeeds, you defeat him to publically save the world, saying it was an unplanned uprising and you had nothing to do with it! Suddenly, you look like a hero, the heroes look like chumps and everyone owes you one.

Ormagoden
2010-02-09, 11:56 AM
30. I am not to kill off all the vampires in the LARP, even if they are terminally stupid.
-Admittedly this was very childish on my part although I was a child at the time. What can I say? Don't piss off a Gangrel.

59. Not allowed to pose the NetrunnerDecker in embarrassing positions when he's on a run.
-Come on! Who can resist!

78. Not allowed to commission a pistol that costs more than a sedan.
-Guilty.

130. I am not authorized to form the head.
-When people transform or polymorph I generally say "And I'll form the head."

180. I have neither the touch nor the power.
-But I DO!

316. My character is not allowed to commit suicide five minutes into the campaign.
-Guilty. It was boring.

332. I cannot spend character points to buy imaginary friends.
-Bought an invisible guardian angel once!

360. I must remind the GM that my Blessed can Raise Dead before he runs another murder mystery again.
-Guitly. Raised dead in an LFG mystery mod good thing it was revised.

417. The solution to all my problems is not Crinos.
-Guilty. Sometimes you just gotta claw something to get anything done!

499. No inventing the minefield.
- But fire trap is SO AWESOME!

636. Recon means tell them what I saw, not slaughter all the monsters without them.
-A street samurai's gotta do what a street samurai's gotta do.

I think thats enough for now!

Djinn_in_Tonic
2010-02-09, 01:19 PM
5. Not allowed to blow all my skill points on 1pt professional skills.
Not all of them, but it was close. Also, Craft figured heavily into it as well.

7. Not allowed to use psychic powers to do the dishes.
Again, not exactly psychic, but Unseen Servant has seen that use.

15. Plan B is not automatically twice as much gunpowder as Plan A.
Sometimes it is, actually. At least if you're Marsh Walburne, Gnomish Tinker.

18. When surrendering I am to hand the sword over HILT first.
Oops. :smallbiggrin:

31. The backup trap handler is not whoever has the most HP at the time.
When the Barbarian has roughly 4x the Rogue's hit points, he becomes the primary trap handler. We also found that my smash was more reliable than his Disable Device...

50. Not allowed to use thermodynamic science to asphyxiate the orcs' cave instead of exploring it first.
Marsh Walburne. On numerous occasions. Maybe not thermodynamic science, but that little guy ruined more of my DMs encounters through creative thinking than any other character I've ever played.

69. There is more to wizardry than magic missile. Even if I can do 200 damage automatic with no save.
When your enemies have <200 hit points, this is a lie!

72. Not allowed to start a character who is over 100 years old unless he's an elf or dwarf. Humans are right out.
In a joke game I played a 3.5 Paladin who kept going on about the "good ol' days" of 2nd edition. Age? 103.

76. I am not allowed any artistic license while translating.
My party won't let me play Bards any more...or the party face, actually.

93. I am to remind my DM that he must never, ever give my paladin a dire boar for a mount again.
Technically I was a Bugbear Paladin with a War Rhinoceros, but the idea holds true.

153. I will not propose to every noblewoman at the royal ball until I crit my charisma check.
I didn't intentionally do this, but my Orc Barbarian did once accidentally get about 50% of the single noble-women of Sharn to fall head over heels in love with him through a similar situation.

182. No figuring out the plot and killing the actual villain five minutes into the adventure.
One-upped. I figured out the villain before the game started, based on the DM's description of his campaign alone. And, further, it was a mystery game. Or was going to be...we never actually played it after I casually stated my thoughts, and the DM's jaw dropped.

237. Not allowed to use more than 3 words per game that the GM has to look up the definition.
Marsh Walburne again.

238. My bard cannot play or has ever heard of the theremin, didgeridoo or glass harmonica.
Marsh Walburne again.

252. I can not order the Druid to transform and roll out.
Who hasn't?

268. Mr. Welch is not allowed to speak in 3rd person.
Udk not agree. Udk also speak in third person.

277. My half-ogre cannot surprise the halflings with spontaneous games of dodgeball.
Udk (my Orc barbarian, and size large from a plot element) cannot surprise the halflings by spontaneously juggling their children. Close enough, I feel.

329. Not allowed to spoil the plot by simply removing the hinges on the door.
Both Udk and Marsh Walburne generally just removed the door itself...or, in Udk's case, often the wall instead. Ruined quite a few dungeon crawls.

...and I'll stop there.

Saph
2010-02-09, 01:43 PM
62. I am not allowed to do anything I saw Han Solo do once.

Specifically, copying his style of bluffing/fast-talking when dealing with hostile military units whose base we're currently infiltrating.

76. I am not allowed any artistic license while translating.

If they can't be bothered to spend any skill points on Speak Language, it's their own fault.

99. Not allowed to see if Jedi can parry a shotgun blast with their lightsaber.

Turns out they can.

149. Looting the unguarded baggage train is not considered a glorious victory.

It does if you're thinking in 2e terms.

159. Airlocks do not double as trash disposals.

Yes they do. Very well, in fact, especially if the trash isn't yet aware of it.

163. Not allowed to try and make a dire version of any dog of the toy breeds.

Actually it was dire rodents. I'm still sorry the Dire Hamster didn't come up on the d100 roll.

217. If the weapon is capable of staking vampires hiding behind engine blocks, I can't have it.

Technically it was a rote, not a weapon, and the effect wasn't so much 'stake' as 'vapourise'.

Starscream
2010-02-09, 02:07 PM
I'm fairly sure he meant that 'tied up decoy' switched places with 'fully buffed and annoyed BBEG'.

Pretty much. We were waiting for a spell with a duration of hours to wear off, so all our buffs were exhausted, and we were not expecting an attack. One or two party members may have even gone to sleep.

Then, when we were at our most vulnerable, the dude breaks his bonds and kicks our butts. He had been hoping we would discuss our mission and he could overhear important information, but as I said we mostly just joked and the DM decided to have some fun at our expense.

clockworkmonk
2010-02-09, 04:34 PM
882. I will not convince the party to name all the characters the same thing.

What Can I say? I think the Brothers Brown were great spies.

901. In the middle of the Black Ops a diversion is not blowing off the top twenty floors of the building. well, it only involved a bank robbery and setting the building on fire. There weren't many explosions. And we managed to keep the op secret!

Drascin
2010-02-09, 05:16 PM
Just a few from the first, because the list is really long.

3. There is no Gnomish god of heavy artillery.

In my campaign, yes there is. Well, his domain is basically everything that explodes, though, not only heavy artillery - light artillery, general explosives, and alchemists are also within his domain.

7. Not allowed to use psychic powers to do the dishes.

Why not? What's next, telling me I can't use my seer's abilities to cheat at card games? :smallwink:

32. I cannot buy any animal in groups of 100 or over.

I just wanted to feed a town!

76. I am not allowed any artistic license while translating.

In my defense, I always edit it towards more diplomatic than what the by-stats actual party face actually asks me to translate...

197. My epic level character cannot take on the minor goblin menace to his country just to stay sharp.

Come on, it's a vacation for him and he gets to keep helping people until another huge crisis appears! No? Aw. Though it wasn't goblins, but same difference.

208. I cannot whine about the crappy selection of magical bec de corbins.

It was halberds, but yeah. Why is every magical weapon a sword? I like polearms!

drengnikrafe
2010-02-09, 06:28 PM
547. Perform skill does not apply to the following: Performance art, spoken word, or fan dances.
I even wrote out my Bard's poetry.

567. I cannot consult my lawyer before making my wish.
I have a 15 page wish sitting in my closet, waiting to be used against an awful DM.

570. The DM does not want to know how my human fighter is triple wielding scimitars.
I made juggling checks every round to make sure I could keep them like that.

676. My character's primary purpose in the party is not to just leech 1/6 of all the XP.
Not me, but one time in an optimzied party, somebody decided to go bard...

1003. I cannot start with an armor class higher than my actual age.
I liked that fighter. Then again, I'm a teenager, so...

1112. I will stop referring to the Eladrin as just the Elf Mk II.
I still call Eladrin "Magic Elves" and the other elves "Bow Elves" when playing 4e.

1170. If the rules contradict Isaac Newton, Newton wins.
I don't think we've ever done it this way.

1583. Even if the rules allow it, can't take a prestige class at level 4.
The party needed a cleric and a wizard. Mystic theurge cheese is totally acceptable in a 5th level campaign.

elonin
2010-02-09, 08:20 PM
55. Before facing the dragon, not allowed to glaze the elf.

Guilty. Actually used sweet and sour on that poor bugger.


171. My character's dying words are not allowed to be "Hastur, Hastur, Hastur"

Everyone has done this at one point.


278. Anything the DM has to ponder the full impact of for more than a minute is forbidden.

Aw c'mon!

Choco
2010-02-12, 06:54 PM
1336. Even if we are told to pick a manly name for the game, Genocidicles is a bit much.

Same goes for Testicles apparently...

Rasman
2010-02-12, 10:49 PM
9. My monk's lips must be in sync.
In my defense, it kept the guy from scrying us from knowing what I was actually saying...but the DM didn't get it...

13. Must not murder canon NPCs in their sleep, no matter how cliche they are.
...they're red shirts for a reason...

26. Valley speak has no place in a fantasy setting. Especially if you're the paladin. But they were like, a shadow dancer, and they like, hid in the shadows and, like, crit him...and stuff...:smallfrown:

27. I am not to shoot every corpse in the head to make sure they aren't a zombie in Twilight 2000. ...er...I only kicked their heads in...but...Zombieland Survival Guide says to always double tap, so ALWAYS double tap...

56. No matter how well I roll, a squirrel cannot carry a horse and rider at full sprint. but you can grab a Frost Giant by the balls and pull him off a cliff...

61. Can only taunt the ranger about his lack of swimming after my USCG E8 saves him. it was actually acrobatics...but...him falling in a pit of lava seemed bad at the time...until he shot me with an arrow...

62. I am not allowed to do anything I saw Han Solo do once.
...this should include Harrison Ford all in all...

63. No, I cannot buy 10,000 marbles even if I say please.
...not my fault the wizard won't cast grease for me...

154. I am not allowed to rub the monk's head for luck.

I punched the ranger for that once...

211. If at any point if my dwarf takes on the mannerisms of Macho Man Randy Savage, he dies.

OH YEAH BROTHER! ...he asked for one from the top rope...I just gave it to him...that Wartroll deserved it...

281. I cannot get emotionally attached to any generic nondescript unnamed NPC.
but...I gave him a name...it was Bubba...

337. Even if the rules allow it, I cannot control 20,000 pigeons and use them as flying piranha.
...what if they're mechanical?...

506. Mjy Vjikjing Skjald wjill njot tjake ljibjertjies wjith thje rjunjic ajlphjabjet. ...I will never mock a Skald when I don't know the Skaldic language ever again...

615. One close call with a mimic does not give me the right to attack every door I come across.
Chests are SO fair game...

The_Glen
2010-02-13, 05:48 PM
1. Cannot base characters off the Who's drummer Keith Moon.
Hackmaster character named Daltry Moon, smashed all her instruments, was constantly on some controlled substance, managed to drown her horse in the town pond. Died when the GM's girlfriend broke up with him and he TPK'd all of us.

2. A one man band is not an appropriate bard instrument.
Tim the Gnome Bard from Hell. Hard not to play a polka obsessed narcissist who managed to strap an accordion, bass drum, trombone, harmonica and cymbals to himself.

3. There is no Gnomish god of heavy artillery.
Howie Itzer. My gnome prayed to him constantly for fire support, but the gods are pretty sparing with flame strikes if you're not a cleric.

4. My 7th Sea character Boudreaux is not 'Southern' Montaigne. I tell you what mon, I swear up and down dat was gonna be one funny character to play. GM said I couldn't do a coonass ranger even if I could keep up the accent non-stop.

5. Not allowed to blow all my skill points on 1pt professional skills.
Guy had a spotty employment history before his adventuring days, what am I supposed to do?

6. Synchronized panicking is not a proper battle plan.
Bunch of lvl2 gnomes attacked by a pack of ogres. Seemed like a good idea at the time.

7. Not allowed to use psychic powers to do the dishes.
Aeon Trinity rules abuse, anything my Upeo Wa Macha owned she could teleport for free, if she could hold it in one hand. So just wash the plate, and pop it right back on the shelf. Mosttrivial use of a psychic power ever.

8. How to serve Dragons is not a cookbook. Well what else are you going to do with a huge pile of Grade-A dragon sirloin?

9. My monk's lips must be in sync. In Legend of the 5 Rings maybe. In Street Fighter pull it off for a full game session and it's a bonus XP.

10. Just because my character and I can speak German, doesn't mean the GM can. Trying to roleplay. Some people just won't let you get into character

I can keep going...