So this breathtaking girl is alright with texting with me. O.o

[Pika...]

Apparently one of those sites recommended here/by friends has led to me having this very lovely girl, who said she wants people to text with, trading texts with me for the last 1.6ish days. Even with me being shy as hell and obviously nervous. :smalleek:

Not to mention the girl is a geek (says so on her profile even...), and has amazing looks. The thing is, she seems so humble about it to boot.


Anyways, I have rarely every texted before (until a bit over a month back when work demanded it I did not know how to use it on my current phone) , and avoided it like the plague. So can anyone her please share what proper texting etiquette is? How often one should text, how quickly should one be able to reply (I am sloooow at texting on a phone), ec, etc.

She seems like a very nice person, so I would like to earn being her friend. Nothing more honestly, especially since she is way, way out of my league.

[The Rose Dragon]

...especially since she is way, way out of my league.

I do want to kick you in the nads for this part, but other than that, you have my congratulations. I don't text people as a method of regular communication, so I won't comment on that part.

[Totally Guy]

What's the intent of the site? Finding friends or romance?

The league bit is an ugly concept that couples with an even uglier game theory interpretation. It's best you not think it those terms as it'll hurt you.

[Comet]

I know it's wall-bangingly cliché, but just be yourself. Really, that's all there is to it. Text at your own pace, write about the things you want to write about. Don't write too long, don't write too short.
Just be a normal, cool dude and everything will go like flash :smallsmile:

[Pika...]

What's the intent of the site? Finding friends or romance?

I believe the later, but it seems as much (or more) used for the prior. It's not a very well managed site in my opinion, but popular nonetheless.

[Castaras]

I know it's wall-bangingly cliché, but just be yourself. Really, that's all there is to it. Text at your own pace, write about the things you want to write about. Don't write too long, don't write too short.
Just be a normal, cool dude and everything will go like flash :smallsmile:

This. Up to you if you use chatspeak or not to lessen texting costs if you're on pay as you go.

[Marillion]

Personally, I don't have time to read anything that was typed with someone's thumbs. :smalltongue:

That said, I have noticed that the people around me tend to get really antsy and pissy when someone doesn't text them back immediately, unless they knew that said person was unavailable when they sent the text. I wouldn't worry too much about that, though, as she probably understands.

Also, I, too, used to be slow at texting when my girlfriend first made me start, but don't worry about it. It gets much easier with practice.

[Pika...]

I do want to kick you in the nads for this part, but other than that, you have my congratulations.

Well, when you grow up with these class of girls being the ones who mock you having one seem nice and want to communicate with you is kind of odd. Usually this means/turned out to be a very cruel joke, so I am a bit paranoid now.

[Mystic Muse]

remember to keep everything you type to her strictly PG or the low end of PG-13. People get arrested for saying things in texts that are too explicit.

[Pika...]

remember to keep everything you type to her strictly PG or the low end of PG-13. People get arrested for saying things in texts that are too explicit.

I have a high respect for women.

And again, I am just looking for a good friend. Would like some more of those.

[Mystic Muse]

I have a high respect for women.

And again, I am just looking for a good friend. Would like some more of those.

Okay good. I just wanted to add that since you were asking for proper etiquette and I think that includes avoiding things that'll get you arrested.:smalltongue:

I hope you can get some more good friends.

[Quietus]

Well, when you grow up with these class of girls being the ones who mock you having one seem nice and want to communicate with you is kind of odd. Usually this means/turned out to be a very cruel joke, so I am a bit paranoid now.

I experienced the same.. but you know what? Women - people - as adults aren't always as cruel as they were in school.

Take a risk. Ask her what she's looking for; Friendship, or something more? Then you'll know. "Out of your league" is a total wash; just straight up ASK her what she's looking for. If she's just looking to be friends, then you're off the hook. If she's looking for something more, then clearly she thinks there's something there. And if SHE doesn't think she's out of your league, then she isn't. Take the risk, possibly go meet her - public places, all that - and see how things turn out.

What's the worst case scenario? You stop getting yourself worked up over some texts, find out that she's not interested after all, and can move on trying to find someone who is. Isn't that the point of those sites?

[The Extinguisher]

remember to keep everything you type to her strictly PG or the low end of PG-13. People get arrested for saying things in texts that are too explicit.

Wait what? I imagine you mean explicit texts that are unwanted, but the way you're phrasing it makes it sound like something else.

How would they enforce that?

[Rutskarn]

I'm guessing limericks about men from Calais are acceptable, but, say, "I'm going to make rude love to your esophagus," when the person is rather protective of their esophagus, is not.

Also: what if I told you I typed this entire post with my thumbs, Mar? Huh? Your eyes gonna glaze over?

[TheThan]

Well, when you grow up with these class of girls being the ones who mock you having one seem nice and want to communicate with you is kind of odd. Usually this means/turned out to be a very cruel joke, so I am a bit paranoid now.

While I have no advice on texing but I can give you some advice on relationships.
Don't be paranoid, if you do, you'll never get a girl/boyfriend or even a good friend out of fear that they are going to stab you in the back or are playing some kind of cruel joke.

Either this person will be a good friend or won't be. Just trust people, and they will prove to you whether they are worth your time or not. If they are, great you have a new friend, if they aren't, well don't dwell on your hurt feelings and simply move on.

Being afraid to open up to people or dwelling too much on past hurt is a good way to develop physiological issues later on, and a healthy psyche is important.

[Mystic Muse]

Wait what? I imagine you mean explicit texts that are unwanted, but the way you're phrasing it makes it sound like something else.

How would they enforce that?

I just mean be careful what you say since anything you text can be read by pretty much anybody.

[Fawkes]

http://instanttrap.com/trap.jpg

Naw I'm just kidding.

Or am I?

Yes.

Kind of.

[Coidzor]

^: Well, that's not outside of the realm of possibility... Most of the explicitly friendlier people I've encountered on such sites had small taglines revealing their statuses though, so I don't think it's too likely that she's a transsexual, but it is a possibility.


Wait what? I imagine you mean explicit texts that are unwanted, but the way you're phrasing it makes it sound like something else.

How would they enforce that?

Well, one would have to save the texts as evidence of severe sexual harassment, I imagine. Don't know whether it would count as any other sort of criminal offense beyond harassment though.


Well, when you grow up with these class of girls being the ones who mock you having one seem nice and want to communicate with you is kind of odd. Usually this means/turned out to be a very cruel joke, so I am a bit paranoid now.

Well, I mean, she's already using you for her own entertainment to some extent and this is known and fairly explicit up front, even if we don't couch it in such terms. So, really, the worst case scenario is she's trying to manipulate a large group of people into falling for her so she can crush them, which seems like an annoyingly time and money consuming hobby, so it seems a lot simpler to believe that she's being at least partially honest about her motivations. Occam's Razor and all that jazz.

[Pika...]

I just mean be careful what you say since anything you text can be read by pretty much anybody.



http://static.guim.co.uk/sys-images/Sport/Pix/pictures/2008/06/16/Tigger4.jpg

Whaaaat????

[Mystic Muse]

http://static.guim.co.uk/sys-images/Sport/Pix/pictures/2008/06/16/Tigger4.jpg

Whaaaat????

my point exactly. Also, you might send the text to the wrong person.

[Marillion]

Also: what if I told you I typed this entire post with my thumbs, Mar? Huh? Your eyes gonna glaze over?

I'm sorry, did you say something?

[Coidzor]

http://static.guim.co.uk/sys-images/Sport/Pix/pictures/2008/06/16/Tigger4.jpg

Whaaaat????

I sent flirtatious texts to a chica I was sleeping with once and then all of her friends suddenly knew things about my nether regions' geography that were of no interest to them, and seemed to have some belief that this was inherently funny and capable of being used to make fun of me in and of itself without regards for size-related slurs. :smallconfused: Which is funny because they could've found out simply because, y'know, I was SLEEPING with the woman, but no, it was because of a random sext.

Needless to say, this made me feel sort of cool towards her, so I dumped her rather than asking her to go steady like she had asked me if I wanted to a few days before that came out. I mean, if she can't keep them from stealing her cellphone to read a discussion of our carnal nature, how could I trust her with something that was actually sensitive to my psyche?

Fortunately they've mostly gotten over that bit of weirdness, probably because they realized dwelling on thoughts on the size of my body probably wasn't the best thing for them to be thinking about.

[Zanaril]

You are sure it's a girl, right?


Being afraid to open up to people or dwelling too much on past hurt is a good way to develop physiological issues later on, and a healthy psyche is important.

Story of my life.

[Umael]

Needless to say, this made me feel sort of cool towards her, so I dumped her rather than asking her to go steady like she had asked me if I wanted to a few days before that came out. I mean, if she can't keep them from stealing her cellphone to read a discussion of our carnal nature, how could I trust her with something that was actually sensitive to my psyche?

Hmm... interesting.

Well, personal choice.

I wouldn't have reacted that way. It feels almost like I would have been punishing her for something that certainly wasn't totally on her. While she should have kept better security over her cellphone, it was her friends who stole it and invaded her privacy, and yours, and then reacted in a juvenile manner. Her friends would get the bulk of my disapproval, not her.

For her, I would say, "This happened, and I don't think it was cool. Let's talk about your phone security now, please." Her reaction to that would indicate a lot about whether she was worth the risk of continuing in a relationship or whether I would say, "Sorry, but I don't think this is working."

[The Rose Dragon]

You are sure it's a girl, right?

There are actual, bona fide girls on the internet?

[arguskos]

There are actual, bona fide girls on the internet?
So the theory goes, not that I have proof or anything. :smalltongue:

[Pyrian]

I've even met some! :smallcool:

[Mystic Muse]

I've even met some! :smallcool:


So have I!

[Zanaril]

There are actual, bona fide girls on the internet?

I should know, I am one. :smalltongue:

[Nameless]

Well, when I was a little girl, I never used the internet much.

[Forever Curious]

I should know, I am one. :smalltongue:

So you claim! :smalltongue:

[Zanaril]

So you claim! :smalltongue:

...Curses! My plans are foiled!

[Forever Curious]

Curses! My plans are foiled!

It's okay. We'll just keep it our little secret...

[Nameless]

...Curses! My plans are foiled!

*wraps your plans up in tin foil*

Du-boom tss.

[Zanaril]

It's okay. We'll just keep it our little secret...

I'm afraid that won't be necessary. *loads an amnesia dart into blowgun*

Look over there and hold still for a moment, would you?


Back on topic, good for you Pika. And I wouldn't stress too much about 'proper texting etiquette'. Seriously.

[Raiki]

Well, when I was a little girl, I never used the internet much.

Nameless: Doppelganger in the Playground.

Will the mystery ever truly be solved?

Edit: And Pika, for what it's worth, just try to relax. Getting high-strung is only going to make things awkward. Just say whatever comes to you and don't worry too much about what others are going to think.

~R~