What to do with this gift?

[Dr.Epic]

So I am in possession of a gift I got for a friend (well, not sure if "friend" is a good word, more like acquaintance or friend of a friend). There birthday was the other day and while I was technically not invited to the party I was asked by a mutual friend if I was going. I said no but that was only because they were going out to eat and I'm broke (it was this nice restaurant, I would have had to spend 30-40 buck I'm sure). I was however invited to the after party. I headed to said after party around 9 PM only to find no one there and learned via phone call my friends were still at the restaurant and they just ordered the food and would be another hour.

I waited all night expecting a phone call as to when they got back but nothing. Any way, I'm just wondering what I should do with the gift I got for him. If it was anybody else I'd still give them the gift but I'm not exactly close to this person (they're a little bit of a jerk with an odd sense of humor) and I'm not entirely comfortable giving them said gift at some future point after their birthday. But it's their birthday and I should try and do the right thing. I will just point out that the gift I can return, use for myself, or re-gift so it's not like it's a waste of money should I not give it to them.

[Starfols]

If you want to give it to them without letting on you missed it their birthday, or be discreet/subtle about it, send it through the mail.

However, if you have no interest in being their friend, just keep it.

[reorith]

right and wrong are just worthless labels used by people with little imagination. that said, blah blah blah ethical egoism, blah blah blah keep it and use it your self blah blah blah whatever you decide is fine. get a shoe box, fill it with broken glass. wrap it, flip it over, put "to that guy's name, from Dr.Epic" and give it to them. if they're a jerk and you're broke, any expenditure of resources whether time or finances is pure folly.

double bonus points: insist they got their birthday wrong.

[Starfols]

right and wrong are just worthless labels used by people with little imagination. that said, blah blah blah ethical egoism, blah blah blah keep it and use it your self blah blah blah whatever you decide is fine. get a shoe box, fill it with broken glass. wrap it, flip it over, put "to that guy's name, from Dr.Epic" and give it to them. if they're a jerk and you're broke, any expenditure of resources whether time or finances is pure folly.

double bonus points: insist they got their birthday wrong.

I see you've been reading that thread, too :smallamused:.

I don't think open hostility is the way to go here. I mean, he did get invited to a restaurant.

[Strawberries]

I said no but that was only because they were going out to eat and I'm broke (it was this nice restaurant, I would have had to spend 30-40 buck I'm sure).

That's a bit odd for me. Doesn't the person who gives the party usually pay for all the people s/he invites? That's how it works where I'm from, at least
Anyway, it does sound this friend is a bit of a jerk, what with not inform you that they were going to be late.

I'd personally just keep it, but if you think you should give it to him, do so in person. It's not like you missed his birthday trough any fault of yours.

[reorith]

I see you've been reading that thread, too :smallamused:.

I don't think open hostility is the way to go here. I mean, he did get invited to a restaurant.

actually it was louis pojman's the moral life. i find that any discussion of philosophy in the playground degenerates into derperry within the first twelve posts. hilarity and hostility are more or less interchangeable.

so far birthday boy is guilty of
>being a jerk
>changing the itinerary of the event without informing Dr.Epic
>probably other stuff anyway.
how has the dude not earned a lap full of glass splinters?
oh well back to drinking for me

[Innis Cabal]

Looks like it only devolved to "derpery" in half that.

Anyway. Just go to his or her house after the party. Give it to em and go.

[Dr.Epic]

so far birthday boy is guilty of
>being a jerk
>changing the itinerary of the event without informing Dr.Epic
>probably other stuff anyway.
how has the dude not earned a lap full of glass splinters?[/COLOR]

As far as the itinerary of the event goes it's kind of vague. All I know is that I was told people were heading out to the restaurant around 5:30 (no idea how far away this place is and how long it takes to get there). I left for the after party around 8:50 and when no one answered the door I called a closer friend that went and informed me of the party as to what was happening. He said they either just ordered or got the food and would be an hour (no idea how the timing works out on that). I decided to just wait in my room for the call. I'm not sure what happened: they forgot about me, they expected me to come, not sure. All I know is that I wasted my Friday night and have a gift I'm not sure what to do with.

[Yarram]

That's a bit odd for me. Doesn't the person who gives the party usually pay for all the people s/he invites? That's how it works where I'm from, at least
Anyway, it does sound this friend is a bit of a jerk, what with not inform you that they were going to be late.

I'd personally just keep it, but if you think you should give it to him, do so in person. It's not like you missed his birthday trough any fault of yours.

Yeahna. Not everyone can afford to pay $500 to feed all the friends they invite to an expensive restaurant.

I'd probably guilt trip him about not rocking up, and then give him the present anyway. It adds to the guilt.

[Strawberries]

Yeahna. Not everyone can afford to pay $500 to feed all the friends they invite to an expensive restaurant.

I'd probably guilt trip him about not rocking up, and then give him the present anyway. It adds to the guilt.

Oh. Well, in that case, we'd just take our friends in a cheaper place. Out for pizza, or, failing all the rest, we'd cook something ourself.
Just cultural differences, I guess. I just asked because I would be very pissed if I was invited at a party and had to pay for it.

[Starfols]

actually it was louis pojman's the moral life.
I read a couple reviews of that book, and... oh my. I don't agree with that at all.

i find that any discussion of philosophy in the playground degenerates into derperry within the first twelve posts. hilarity and hostility are more or less interchangeable.
Heeeeey. :smallannoyed:

so far birthday boy is guilty of
>being a jerk
>changing the itinerary of the event without informing Dr.Epic
>probably other stuff anyway.
how has the dude not earned a lap full of glass splinters?
oh well back to drinking for me

Well, despite 'being a jerk' and 'probably other [jerky] stuff anyway' being similar, I've pulled too much glass out of too many feet to agree with inflicting that punishment on anybody.

[snoopy13a]

Uh, don't give him the gift. He isn't a friend and you didn't go to the party. Use it yourself or regift it.

[skywalker]

I'd probably guilt trip him about not rocking up, and then give him the present anyway. It adds to the guilt.

"Rocking up?" Eh?


Just cultural differences, I guess. I just asked because I would be very pissed if I was invited at a party and had to pay for it.

Typically, where I'm from, the person for whom the party is being held is least likely to pay.


Well, despite 'being a jerk' and 'probably other [jerky] stuff anyway' being similar, I've pulled too much glass out of too many feet to agree with inflicting that punishment on anybody.

I'd like to introduce you to reorith. Reorith makes jokes.

[Hazkali]

Typically, where I'm from, the person for whom the party is being held is least likely to pay.


Indeed, this is how I've always found it, although I don't know if that is "traditional" here or just my experience. I wouldn't think it right for someone to pay for my company on their birthday if we were going out to a restaurant or similar. However, it'd be different if someone was hosting a party at their house- then it'd be odd to pay.