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Mixt
2011-08-10, 10:34 AM
2112: May not play a cleric of Kamina

2113: May not play a cleric of Simon

2114: My holy symbol is not a drill

2115: Sin Heartless Angel is not a technique i can use, thing be flippin OP, setting the target's HP to 1 and destroying all spell slots and daily powers, making it impossible to cast spells or anything like that (MP to 0). With no save on top of everything else.

2116: May not mishear "Slay the dragon" as "Lay the dragon"

2117: Dammit, stop humping the dragons you were sent to kill!

2118: I may not play a Nimmy, nor may i have one as a pet.

Xerinous
2011-08-14, 02:50 PM
2119: PCs are not allowed to have a higher AC than the campaign's final boss.
2119a: Especially if the final boss can only hit that PC on a Natural 20.

2120: PCs aren't allowed to hit the final boss on a 2.
2120a: Even if the DM gave the last bonus to hit that let it happen.

2121: Exorcisms are not performed by ramming a sword into the chest of the one possessed.

AsteriskAmp
2011-08-14, 08:01 PM
2122 There is no such thing as an exorcist handbook.
2123 Even if there was, it is most certainly not a sourcebook
2124 I may not use non-classical elements as elementals
2125 Neither am I allowed to summon kilogram upon kilogram of Potassium into the sea as naval warfare tactic.
2126 The flying ship is most certainly not flying because of helium balloons
2127 The answer to the sphinx riddle is not the cat before, during and after meeting the wizard.
2128 Neither is it the elf rogue if you ask her nicely
2129 Christmas Cake is not a blunt weapon, not even if it is the barbarian wielding it and the DM's grandma made it.
2130 There is no Bubonic Plague or ever will be, on that note:
2131 Catapulting infected cows into a city is not in accord to whatever name I've given to the Geneva Convention of this world.
2132 Genghis Khan is not an adequate role model, much less the ideal of a Lawful Good cleric.
2133 The Cancer Mage is no longer allowed to call the creation of tumors under a persons face to remodel it facial surgery, much less charge for it and for all intents and matters call it harmless.

Hiro Protagonest
2011-08-14, 08:09 PM
2124 I may not use non-classical elements as elementals

2134. Void elementals do not exist.
2134a. Even if Avatar: TLA's energybending totally should've been called voidbending.
2134b. Just because Lo5R (and the Rokugan setting, by extension) has void doesn't mean normal D&D does.

PurityIcekiller
2011-08-14, 08:25 PM
2135: No matter how high I roll on my Pickpocketing check, I cannot steal planets.
2136: My weapon's ammunition cannot be bigger than me.

Choco
2011-08-15, 08:43 AM
2121: Exorcisms are not performed by ramming a sword into the chest of the one possessed.

2121a: Even if I smite evil as I'm doing it, and can heal the formerly-possessed afterward...


2136: My weapon's ammunition cannot be bigger than me.

2136a: I am not allowed to be the ammunition for anyone else's weapon.

2137: My character is not "immune to becoming pregnant" because she is immune to all diseases.
2137a: Apparently pregnancy is not "the worst and most life-destroying of all STD's".

2138: I am not allowed to actually get drunk so I can better RP my character who has just gotten drunk.
2138: Especially if I was supposed to drive home.

Combat Reflexes
2011-08-25, 05:45 AM
2138: I am not allowed to actually get drunk so I can better RP my character who has just gotten drunk.

:smallbiggrin:

2139. I may no longer use the 'soil objects' version of the Prestidigitation spell.
2140. I may no longer use the Prestidigitation spell.
2141. I may no longer use any spell.
2142. If my warlock has more invocations than the wizard has spells, he's not allowed in the game.
2143. Higher-level psionic powers are banned from the game.
2144. Psionic Handbooks must be shot on sight.
2145. I can no longer play a Crusader.
2146. I am no longer allowed a ToB.

2147. I may only play a straight fighter.

Esprit15
2011-08-25, 11:01 PM
2148: I may not use electrical spells underwater.
2148a: Especially in salt water.

PurityIcekiller
2011-08-26, 12:11 AM
2149: When dealing with annoying flying enemies, I'm not allowed to use the paladin as bait.
2150: Even if the rules don't say so, I cannot have a flaming icy burst sword.
2151: My character sheet cannot be in code.
2152: I cannot roll dice on the ceiling.

Metahuman1
2011-08-26, 11:58 AM
2153: If I break rule 2152, I have to just take it when the dice hit the DM in the head and his reply is to inform me that rocks fall, my character dies, and I must now roll up a Truenamer, no Custom Magic Items, Item familiars, or Affiliations.

Asta Kask
2011-08-26, 01:54 PM
2154. Can't bring a 3.5 ed character to a 4th ed. game because "I like the old game better."
2155. Especially when the character I bring is an Initiate of the Seventh Veil.

Temassasin
2011-08-26, 03:36 PM
1256: i may not stop the villains plan to become a omnipotent god just to hi jak it for myself

Metahuman1
2011-08-26, 03:42 PM
1257: I may not be come Omnipotent. Ever.

1258: If I become Omnipotnet, the game ends there.

1259: And the Dm, if we do play in that world again at a later date in the worlds time line, get's to choose what I've been up too with Omnipotnet powers.

1260: Even if I'm protesting the whole time that my character would never do what the Dm Decided he did.

PurityIcekiller
2011-08-26, 04:39 PM
2161: I'm not allowed to reverse the digits of my character level while no one is looking.
2162: If my plan causes more than two facepalms when I explain it, usually that means it's a bad idea.
2163: Although holy arrows are good-aligned, I cannot tell my fellow party members that firing them is amoral.

MesiDoomstalker
2011-08-28, 09:15 PM
2164a: I may not have the verbal component of my Halt spell be "THOU SHALT NOT PASS!!!!!!" and the somatic components be pounding my staff on the ground.

2164b: The verbal component from any spell that hinders movement, directly or indirectly, may not include the words; "not", "thou", "pass", or "shalt" or any combinations or synonym of the four.

2164c: I may not use spells that hinder movement.

2164d: I may not use spells that would indirectly hinder movement.

2164e: All the above especially if I am a Old or Venerable Human Wizard in a low magic setting.

PurityIcekiller
2011-09-04, 02:09 AM
2165: When I'm the Dungeon Master, I'm not to kill off the party between sessions.
2166: No more using Explosive Runes for scribing scrolls of Explosive Runes.
2167: If the dice rolled for damage exceed my hit points, I'm not allowed to have it.

Tesla_pasta
2011-09-04, 12:15 PM
.997
I am not allowed to make an Atropal character.
.997a
even if the stats I homebrewed for it were TOTALLY balanced.
.998
no monks named chuck norris
.999
I may never provoke ghosts into having an identity crisis at the expense of the party, no matter how good of idea it seemed at the time.

Almost to 1000! good job, guys!

The-Mage-King
2011-09-04, 01:08 PM
2172: I may not mess up the numbering and set us back by more than a thousand entries.

Omeganaut
2011-09-04, 03:16 PM
2173. I may no longer create NPC's named Stuart. The party is becoming suspicious.

2174. Rule above applies to the BBEG.

2175. I may not base adventure ideas off of All That sketches.

2176. Or any sketch show for that matter.

2177. I am no longer allowed access to TV shows when planning sessions.

PurityIcekiller
2011-09-04, 03:41 PM
2178: Even if it doesn't hurt good creatures, throwing Holy Smite into every building I enter is not considered good form.
2179: Playing the same character more than once is only okay if it's not at the same time.

Lord Loss
2011-09-04, 07:46 PM
2180. I may not name my character ''Charlie Sheen'' and fill all available spaces on the character sheet with ''WINNING''

Esprit15
2011-09-06, 12:11 AM
2181: I may not summon more undead than there are party members.

2182: I may not be mute.
2182 b: If I am mute, I may not have any ranks in diplomacy, bluff, and am severely limited in my intimidate skills.

Yourshallowpal
2011-09-06, 01:20 AM
2183- I may not beg and plead to make the GM provide me with a homebrew "raise abomination" ritual to use on the collected parts of my enemies.

2183b- If I break rule 2183, and the GM is so gracious as to pause the game for 15 minutes to make up the ritual, and then another 15 to custom-make the stats for the resulting monstrosity, I will not perform the ritual, create the monster, and then immediately break its neck and scream, "Because life's a B****, THAT'S WHY!"

2183c- Nor will I request roleplaying XP for doing the above.

Mindartis
2011-09-09, 11:45 AM
2183b- If I break rule 2183, and the GM is so gracious as to pause the game for 15 minutes to make up the ritual, and then another 15 to custom-make the stats for the resulting monstrosity, I will not perform the ritual, create the monster, and then immediately break its neck and scream, "Because life's a B****, THAT'S WHY!"
Lol. I might steal this.

2184 - I will not badger the DM for a dragonborn with wings, because they do not have them.
2184b - Not even if it is really cool.

2185 - I will also refrain from making senseless pop culture references.

2186 - Bringing a pet cat cat out during drug negotiations is not okay.
2186b - I will not cry when said cat gets shot in the face with a crossbow by the Teifling drug lord.

PurityIcekiller
2011-09-09, 12:40 PM
2187: Even if I'm playing a bard, musical numbers during the final confrontation with the villain are not allowed.
2188: No matter what they're called, hit points don't make it easier for me to hit things.
2189: Before casting petrification spells, I cannot ask the target to strike an exciting pose.

Wookieetank
2011-09-09, 01:28 PM
2189.a: I may not cast petrification spells on party members when they are striking heroic or otherwise awesome poses.
2189.b: Particularly during combat.
2189.c: Goes double for fighting the BBEG

Cieyrin
2011-09-10, 09:51 AM
2190. If I'm piloting the party's transport, I may not utter the phrase "I am a leaf on the wind." It makes the party nervous.
2191. Not allowed to make my own Reavers to make the orcish hordes look like peaceful missionaries, spreading the healing word of Gruumsh, in comparison.
2192. My barbarian's job is not Public Relations.

2193. If the cats knock figures around, it's not a TPK and I can't roll up a better character.

Hiro Protagonest
2011-09-10, 01:49 PM
2184 - I will not badger the DM for a dragonborn with wings, because they do not have them.
2184b - Not even if it is really cool.

What? :smallconfused:

Metahuman1
2011-09-11, 09:40 AM
2194: I will not use a Unicorn as a PC race.
2195: If I break 2194, the Unicorn will not be a spell caster of any kind.
2196: Nor will it have profession Tailor or Craft: Dress Making or Craft: Gem Cutting or a massive racial bonus to search checks too find gems, Or ranks in Knowledge skills.
2197: Can't have levels in Lore Master.
2198: Absolutely cannot Worship Lauren Faust, or ANY kind of Sun Deity.

PurityIcekiller
2011-09-11, 11:11 AM
2199: Even if the party's rogue meets a genie, no singing songs from the Aladdin soundtrack.
2200: Wizards are not projectile weapons.
2201: I'm no longer allowed to take the flaws Insane, Hyperactive, and Ridiculous Colouration in exchange for the Reality Warper advantage.
2202: Weapons do not get bonuses to hit just because they look awesome.

Mindartis
2011-09-11, 08:44 PM
What? :smallconfused:

Dragonborn do not have wings. We had a PC who kept insisting on having a winged Dragonborn, because "its really cool."

Milo v3
2011-09-12, 01:05 AM
Dragonborn do not have wings. We had a PC who kept insisting on having a winged Dragonborn, because "its really cool."
In 3.5e they actually do have wings. So maybe thats why he wants to have wings. But if you do you don't get a breath weapon.

Wookieetank
2011-09-12, 08:06 AM
2203. Shotguns are not a replacement for diplomacy.
2204. Even if 'they' started 'it'

The Succubus
2011-09-12, 08:21 AM
2205. I am not allowed to use the party's halfling monk as an improvised fishing lure.
2206. Not even if they were in favour of the idea.
2207. I am no longer allowed to use Suggestion, Charm Person or any similar spells to persuade the halfling monk to join me for a fishing trip.

Mindartis
2011-09-12, 08:34 AM
In 3.5e they actually do have wings. So maybe thats why he wants to have wings. But if you do you don't get a breath weapon.

Nah, he had both.

MesiDoomstalker
2011-09-12, 11:20 AM
2208: I may not play a character who can spontaneously gain a reach of 20 feet.

2209: If 2208 is broken, I may not have a reliable way of staying out of the opponents reach.

2210: I may not play a Raptoran Cleric who casts Greater Luminous Armor on himself every morning and says he is an angel.

PurityIcekiller
2011-09-12, 12:00 PM
2211: Buildings cannot be used as improvised weapons.
2212: When dealing with pit traps, no using the half-orc as a bridge.
2213: I'm not allowed to toss every ring we come across into the nearest volcano, and especially not allowed to create volcanoes to toss them into.
2214: Not all NPCs lack swimming skill.

Gd8908
2011-09-15, 04:55 PM
2215: I am not allowed to randomly kill the first NPC I come across.
2216: if rule 2215 is broken, I must not kill any more.
2217: if rule 2216 is broken, well **** it. Kill more.

Wookieetank
2011-09-16, 09:38 AM
2218. If rule 2217 is broken, join the BBEG.

Esprit15
2011-09-18, 02:07 AM
2219: I may not as a male spell-caster use magic to turn into a female and promiss "favors" to male enemies, only to kill them once I get them alone.

2220: I may not do this if I am naturally female.
2220b: No, not even if my charisma is that high.

PurityIcekiller
2011-09-18, 02:31 AM
2221: I cannot have a weapon which fires more ammunition at once than I can carry.
2222: My battlecry cannot include the word "bagel" anywhere.
2223: No using large animals as projectile weapons.

Hiro Protagonest
2011-09-20, 10:11 PM
2224. No more template stacking with Alter Self, Polymorph, PaO, or Shapechange. Because the designers didn't intend for you to play a paragon dragon without a breath weapon at level 7. Or a fiendish half-celestial paragon dragon with most of the bells and whistles (no spellcasting or spell-like. Although you still have wizard spellcasting) at level 17.

Cieyrin
2011-09-21, 10:03 AM
2225. Not allowed war camels ever again, they make encounters trivial.

Choco
2011-09-30, 01:11 PM
2226: Not allowed to have my character be competent at his job.
2227: Not allowed to laugh for over 2 minutes straight after the DM argues with me that RAW 3.5 monks are a powerful class.
2228: No matter how true it is, I am not allowed to point out to the guy that's been DM'ing 3.5 since it came out that he doesn't know jack about the rules.
2229: No, I in fact do not have any ability that penetrates Plot Armor.
2230: If the DM's pet player is Chaotic Stupid and runs off alone, I am supposed to follow so as not to split the party.
2230a: If the rest of the group is going about their quest and the DM's pet player wants to stay behind and do something else, we are supposed to stay so as not to split the party.

PurityIcekiller
2011-09-30, 01:30 PM
2231: My access to ice magic is restricted until I get my punning tendencies under control.
2232: "Too Awesome For His/Her Own Good" doesn't count as a flaw.

Hiro Protagonest
2011-09-30, 08:57 PM
2226: Not allowed to have my character be competent at his job.
2227: Not allowed to laugh for over 2 minutes straight after the DM argues with me that RAW 3.5 monks are a powerful class.
2228: No matter how true it is, I am not allowed to point out to the guy that's been DM'ing 3.5 since it came out that he doesn't know jack about the rules.
2229: No, I in fact do not have any ability that penetrates Plot Armor.
2230: If the DM's pet player is Chaotic Stupid and runs off alone, I am supposed to follow so as not to split the party.
2230a: If the rest of the group is going about their quest and the DM's pet player wants to stay behind and do something else, we are supposed to stay so as not to split the party.

Get a new DM. Now.

2233. Not allowed to have my Warblade with Superior Unarmed Strike find an old robot golem, and electronically magically sync the two with a remote-control thing so that when turned on, he mirrors my every move.

Choco
2011-10-04, 02:19 PM
Get a new DM. Now.

Already taken care of. Figured joining a pick-up group at a game store for the first time in years would be fun just to see how/if they have changed any. Guess somethings never change.

2234: I seriously need to stop "disarming" unarmed opponents.
2234a: Even if it HAS become my character's schtick.
2235: I am not allowed to disarm an opponent using my guts.
2236: Even if the rules allow it, my character cannot have any bodily-fluid-based attacks, spells, defenses, or abilities of any kind.
2236a: Especially if said character ends up being the most powerful in the party.
2237: When everyone at the table is discussing the latest movie/show they watched and how they hated <x> character, I am not allowed to take notes and use that character as the base for my next character.
2238: As DM, I am not allowed to goad the players into second-guessing every single decision they make just because I think it's funny.
2239: As DM, the next time I throw a weak opponent that is good at bluffing at the party and have him scare them into submission based on description/attitude alone, my face is getting re-arranged.
2240: As DM, I am not allowed to use the GitP forums' optimization threads as a source of villain stats.
2240a: Especially if my players are all on the low end of the optimization spectrum.

Necroticplague
2011-10-04, 05:00 PM
2240: As DM, I am not allowed to use the GitP forums' optimization threads as a source of villain stats.


2241:On a related note, BG's you break it, you bu it subforum is not to be used as pc-building advice

2241a:neither is the easy exploits compedium.

PurityIcekiller
2011-10-04, 07:30 PM
2242: No matter what my Charisma modifier is, I cannot get the king to give me his castle even if I ask nicely.
2243: When awing people with magic, aim away from them.

Magnera
2011-10-05, 09:18 PM
2203) I can't not bring cookies to game night.
2203) I can't role dice to see how much damage we did to the local economy after our dragon kill.

mangosta71
2011-10-06, 08:49 AM
2244: Beholder eyestalks do not count as limbs when calculating my number of natural attacks.
2245: I will not play a beholder monk.
2246: "Blind in one eye" is not an appropriate flaw for a beholder.

The Boz
2011-10-22, 05:41 PM
Even more stuff my group is now collectively banned from doing:
2247. I am not allowed to voluntarily fail Willpower checks against Chaos Daemonettes, no matter how sexy they are.
2248. I am no longer allowed to carry a gallon of lamp oil, ten sticks of dynamite, a pound of gunpowder and a bottle of perfume on the same character.
2248a. Especially not while wielding pistols that can explode, or while a partymember is an insane pyromaniac bright wizard.
2248b. Am not allowed to place said items on the horse and ask the party pyromaniac to light it up either.

Wookieetank
2011-10-24, 08:24 AM
2249. Using a Trojan Critter (horse, rabbit, etc.) loaded with TNT and various other explosive materials is not allowed.
2249a. As a wizard not allowed to hide myself inside said trojan horse to make it 'more' effective, particularly if I know delayed blast fireball, and meteor swarm :smallamused:
2249b. Particularly if the party has a cleric that knows true revive.
2250. In fact not allowed to play a wizard in any party that has a cleric, period.

Cieyrin
2011-10-25, 10:51 AM
2251. If I'm in charge of putting together the caravan, there should be something we're actually transporting.
2252. The discount horses we're using to pull the wagons do not count as tradeable goods, even if they aren't going to survive the journey and the next town just happens to have a glue factory.
2253. I can't just pick random people off the street to man the wagons, I need actual teamsters.
2254. I can't put an insurance policy on the caravan and then fireball it when we're out of sight of town to claim the money later.
2255. I'm not allowed to put together the caravans anymore.

mangosta71
2011-10-25, 11:50 AM
2256: I am not allowed to sell the caravan's teamsters into slavery just to get out of paying them.

Dr.Orpheus
2011-10-25, 08:36 PM
2257: I am not allowed to say "my character is peeing in the bushes" during every negative event the rest of my party encounters, and then argue about how my character is the only one on the party who has released his blatter the entire game.

PurityIcekiller
2011-10-26, 01:17 PM
2258: My character's dialogue cannot consist solely of Babylon 5 quotes.
2259: I may not own a siege engine that launches cats, puns or no puns.
2260: My weapon cannot be appreciably bigger than the creatures I'm trying to kill with it.
2261: Plan A is not "retreat".
2262: Wielding monsters as weapons, or using them as ammunition, is generally frowned upon.

Cieyrin
2011-10-26, 01:34 PM
2258: My character's dialogue cannot consist solely of Babylon 5 quotes.

2263. I can't play any characters even remotely based on Zathrous. Even if the idea of a venerable Mongrelfolk Factotum is a fun one, the other players get annoyed about my constant comments about how no one listens to Zathrous...

urnewemperor
2011-10-26, 07:34 PM
2264. I can not kill the king and replace myself as him.
2265. If 2264 is broken I can not kill the court jester
2266. I also may not kill ambassadors from other nations

urnewemperor
2011-10-26, 07:37 PM
2267. I cannot roll barrels into kobold nests in an attempt to play Donkey Kong.

urnewemperor
2011-10-26, 07:38 PM
2268. My wizard may not fly to 300 feet then poop on a crowd of enemies

MesiDoomstalker
2011-10-26, 09:49 PM
2268b: I may not break the 3 post rule, nor will I try to be funny and post three times in a row :smallannoyed:

2269a: The "Class" entry line of my character may not spill over into any other lines.

2269b: Especially if I use abbreviations.

2269c: If I can't tell my allies my class combination in without taking a break to breath, I must revise my build accordingly.

2269d: I must take at least 10 levels of 1 class.

2269e: I may not multi-class. Ever.

2269f: I may not take a Prestige Class either.

2269g: I may not play Druid, Wizard, Psion, Sorcerer, Cleric, or Favoured Soul 20 either.

2270a: If I forget to name my character and my DM notices, I can not name him "The character formerly known as [my last character]"

2270b: Nor may I name him "Writer Unknown"

2270c: or "Unkown" for that matter.

2270e: I may espcially not name him "You'll find out in due time pawns...I...uh...mean....friends! Yes, yes. Thats what I meant. Friends. :smallbiggrin:"

PurityIcekiller
2011-10-26, 10:15 PM
2271: After making a saving throw, I cannot make a restoring throw if I die to take me back to that point.
2272: I cannot cast any spell with an area of effect larger than the planet I'm on.
2273: Sending a scout to check for monsters is not done by attaching pieces of fresh meat to the halfling and throwing him into the next room.
2274: Maids do not automatically get bonuses with throwing knives.

Dr.Orpheus
2011-10-26, 10:19 PM
2275: I may not craft magnetic armor and put it on my followers
2276: I may not take the leadership feat in order to attract followers to kill for money.

Coplantor
2011-10-26, 10:29 PM
2277: You don't just stab yourself to see if the potion gave you new defensive powers or if it made you better at stabbing

MesiDoomstalker
2011-10-27, 12:57 AM
2277: You don't just stab yourself to see if the potion gave you new defensive powers or if it made you better at stabbing

2277b: I may not test the effects of a potion in the following ways: you lace the wizards wine with the potion and proceed to administer whatever tests deemed neccesary. If no defensive capabilities are extrapolated before the frail wizard is dead, lace the Barbarians lamb chuck with the potion, poke repeatedly till Rage is provoked. Backup cleric is preferable but optional.

2278: I may not use a pick of any kind and make pick-puns whenever I crit with my lucky die which rolls 20 62% of the time.

Razanir
2011-10-27, 06:25 AM
2279: I am not allowed to Jedi mind trick the town council
2280: I may not throw a party member into a pit to test how deep it is
2280b: Especially if there are stairs
2280c: Even if he's a gnome
2281: No evil PCs. They shall be smote
2282: I am not allowed to question why there were Huge monsters in a 15'x20' room

Note: All of these have happened to my party before

Grue Bait
2011-10-27, 09:51 AM
2283:No matter how tempting, I may not tie our team bard to a tree, dress him in drag, then let my barbarian make him scream to attract monsters for loot.
2284:if previous rule is broken there will be repercussions, specifically more monsters than my team can handle.
2285:When fleeing, I cannot attack our gnome to cripple him as a distraction.

Dr.Orpheus
2011-10-27, 11:32 AM
2286: I may not build a mech suit untill level 20 even if I can beat DC 100 knowledge engineering and craft metalworking at level 9

Karoht
2011-10-27, 12:06 PM
2287: If I am ever to be imprisoned, I am to be imprisoned in a private cell, and nude, due to the startling ease upon which I have used nothing but a shirt to disarm and blind a guard and a strip of cloth to strangle. I have managed this with far less clothing.
2287a-Boots are no longer permitted as improvised weapons, regardless of how readily I may demonstrate their startling effectiveness as a weapon.
2288-If I manage to kill one more person with an article of clothing, I will no longer be permitted clothing in campaigns.

Hiro Protagonest
2011-10-27, 12:07 PM
2268b: I may not break the 3 post rule, nor will I try to be funny and post three times in a row :smallannoyed:

2268c. Especially since I've shown that I know how to use the edit button.

MesiDoomstalker
2011-10-27, 12:50 PM
2289: I may not refluff something that does not have an alignment tag to make it decidley evil (or any other alignment for that matter) then use the arguement that since the standard fluffed version does not have an alignment tag then my alignment should not shift with repeated usage.

Hbgplayer
2011-10-28, 06:05 PM
2290: I am not allowed to attempt to grapple a woman who just jumped off a 40ft tall wall onto another person and literally ripped his face off. Especially when I'm a 2nd level wizard.
2291: The same wizard is not allowed to shoot his crossbow at a vampire; when surrounded by an army of vampires that he is helping take over a city.
2292: If said wizard does any of the above, the DM shall decide to roll "stupid Damage", which is 1d(Backgammon Doubling Die) per character level. :smallredface:

urnewemperor
2011-10-29, 02:02 PM
2293. I'm not aloud to shoot a vampire with a crossbow, and claim it "staked him" because part of the bolt was wooden.

urnewemperor
2011-10-29, 02:19 PM
2294. I may not secretly multi class the rogue into an assassin just to get rid of an annoying or stupid character

Hiro Protagonest
2011-10-29, 02:22 PM
2295. I may not post multiple times in a row when I've demonstrated I can use the edit button!

Kelvin360
2011-10-30, 01:53 AM
2296 - I am not allowed to make my players build CW Samurai and then throw an Ancient Red Dragon at them, period.

2297 - I am not allowed to carry more than twice my characters weight in items unless I have a bag of holding.

2298 - I am not allowed to fit anything in a bag of holding that is bigger than the bag of holding.

2299 - Especially if it is a mages tower.

2300 - As a matter of fact I am banned from using bags of holding.

Hbgplayer
2011-10-30, 01:00 PM
2301: I am not allowed to have a "good" alignment when I am helping a hoard of vampires take control of a metropolis.
2302: My good aligned Druid is not allowed to associate with an evil necromancer searching for the Book of Vile Darkness
2303: If he finds himself in such company, he IS allowed to "forget" to tell said necromancer about poison in her food.

PurityIcekiller
2011-10-30, 01:10 PM
2304: I'm no longer allowed to defeat twenty-four hostile soldiers by only attacking one of them.
2305: "Memetic Badass" is not a valid character trait.
2306: The challenge rating of an infinite number of orcs is more than you should give to a single, low-level fighter.

urnewemperor
2011-11-12, 08:18 PM
2307. Im not allowed to get hit by dice then whine about it.
2307a. especially if they are not thrown to me.
2308. I may not play as a pit fiend.
2308a. especially if i am chaotic good.
2308b. especially if i am saving a human city from other devils

Karoht
2011-11-14, 02:17 PM
2309: I'm no longer allowed to use the spell Aqueous Orb to play pinball with enemies, then fling the orb off of a cliff or into any other sort of pitfall.
2309a: Especially when the dungeoncrasher bullrush spec'd Barbarian is right there to continue to bullrush them into such pitfalls as spiked walls, deep pits, or just the wall itself.
2309b: Especially when there are stalagmites on a 20ft high ceiling, and the orb can jump 30ft. Or use the spell Geyser to achieve the same effect only with more upward force, and fall damage over a pitfall.

Creed
2011-11-15, 08:12 PM
2310: I am no longer allowed to have a character with either an obscenely high or obscenely low charisma score.

2311: If somehow a character with an extremely high charaisma score slips by, it cannot be a female who seduces all the major male NPC's, getting tons of free stuff.

2312: If a character with a low charisma gets through, by no means shall he be named Lloyd. Nor will he have a white van with candy inside.

PurityIcekiller
2011-11-15, 08:40 PM
2313: I do not get a bonus to hit due to awesome battle music being played in the background.
2314: Pick Locks and Pick Pockets are valid skills for a thief. Pick Flowers is not.
2315: Nondamaging spells do not simply exist for the purpose of finding ways to kill things without directly attacking them.
2316: No more finding ways to turn rat-leather backpacks into the deadliest weapons in the game.

MesiDoomstalker
2011-11-16, 01:10 PM
2317a: I may not bring the game to a grinding halt as I have a scientific debate with the DM.

2317b: Even if we are both completly in character.

2317c: Magic and science are matter and anti-matter respectivly. If I mention science, my character becomes an uncontrolled Sphere of Anihilation. No ressurection possible, even with Wish/Miracle and divine intervention.

Hiro Protagonest
2011-11-16, 04:02 PM
2311: If somehow a character with an extremely high charaisma score slips by, it cannot be a female who seduces all the major male NPC's, getting tons of free stuff.

Aww. That's the fun part! :smallfrown:

Can you at least play a guy who seduces all the major female NPCs?

2318. It doesn't matter if we're playing a game set in the real world with all the bells and whistles, my martial artist does not know the words to either version of Kung Fu Fighting!
2318a. He doesn't have it on his iPod either!
2318b. Or MP3!
2318c. Or a CD!
2318d. Or a DVD!
2318e. You know what? Carl Douglas and Cee Lo Green never existed in this world!

HypoSoc
2011-11-16, 11:03 PM
2319: I am no longer allowed to play a bard for the purpose of spreading a memetic disease.

Mono Vertigo
2011-11-18, 04:32 PM
2320c: so long as I keep sucking at quantum physics and grossly misunderstand it, I am never allowed to reference it in any way or shape ever again.
2320b: whether neutrinos can or cannot travel in time doesn't matter, I am not allowed to do bad things to time and causality.
2320a: all quantum meta-shenanigans are prohibited.
2320: my alignment cannot follow rules of quantum physics and change whenever it is observed.

2321: I may no longer have fun with order whenever I'm contributing to "X things I'm no longer allowed to do" threads and discussion, especially if GMs are involved.

Karoht
2011-11-18, 04:44 PM
2319: I am no longer allowed to play a bard for the purpose of spreading a memetic disease.
Inconsequencial.
Had relations.
:smallcool:

@Musashi
We had a rule like that back when we played Mage: The Ascention

"Are you referencing quantum physics?
Would you make Stephen Hawkings cry by explaining what you are doing? If yes to the second, take 50 paradox now. If you live, take 50 more. If you live, the player is forgiven but your character completely forgets the crazy plan, and all of whatever happened to him/her in the 2 week space prior."

Dr.Orpheus
2011-11-20, 01:46 PM
2322: Not allowed to sling capsules of boes einstin condensate at my foes, or blow it out of a hose.

PurityIcekiller
2011-11-20, 01:59 PM
2323: No more putting all my skill points in Rocketry.
2324: I'm not allowed to find a way to give my weapon more than a 200% chance to hit.
2325: My ranger's favoured enemy cannot be "all living things".
2326: Paladins cannot be named Daniel or any variants thereof.

Kane0
2011-11-22, 05:35 PM
2327. No killing the Lady of Pain.
2327a. No charming/controlling/dominating her in any way either

2328. Not allowed to play any evoking character. Ever.

Lord Raziere
2011-11-24, 08:13 PM
2329: Not allowed to name my Chosen of Secrets, or any other Sidereal for that matter, "Albus Gandaldore".

Hiro Protagonest
2011-11-25, 03:24 PM
2330. Not allowed to play a heroic mortal in a DB game and name him Sokka.
2330a. As a DB, not allowed to have all the elemental aspects on the basis that I'm the only person in the world like that, and be named Aang or Korra.
2330b. Not allowed to make a fire aspect named Zuko, Mako, Jeong Jeong, or Iroh.
2330c. Not allowed to make an earth aspect named Toph, Sud, or Bolin.
2330d. Not allowed to make a water aspect named Katara or Pakku.

PurityIcekiller
2011-11-25, 03:37 PM
2331: No more turning the entire party into dragons, no matter how awesome it is.
2332: I'm not allowed to max out my spiritual power by taking Lazy and Destitute as disadvantages.
2333: Sneak attack damage cannot be applied to fireball spells.

Dr.Orpheus
2011-11-27, 01:37 AM
2334: Can't use Friend Computer to check my emails
2335: Can't use a form request form to request a form request form

MesiDoomstalker
2011-11-27, 02:14 AM
2336: I may not reference OotS, OoC or IC, as I am the only one who understands it.

2337: I may not make obscure references because I'm the only one who understands them

2338: I may not make references to over-referenced popculture sources, as they are extremely tired and played out.

2339: I may not make any references. Period. Not even Monty Python.

2340: I may not have a magically enchanted drum that plays everytime my Bard uses Perform (Comedy).

KainelWyst
2011-11-27, 03:20 AM
2341: I may never again open the folder wherein lies the statistics for my homebrew Black Mage Warforged. (circa Final Fantasy 9)

2342: I may never again make a wizard with more spells per day than a sorcerer, 'cuz "it just ain't natural."

2343: I may never again play a whisper gnome regardless of class. Especially not a dervish.

2343b: I may never again attack ten times, deal 10 con damage, move 60', flank greater than five enemies, nor avoid greater than five attacks of opportunity all in one full round action.

2343c: I may never again drop a level of Barbarian to gain Pounce.

2344: I may never again own a hummingbird familiar.

2345: I may never again play bowling for commoners with Defenestrating Sphere.

KainelWyst
2011-11-27, 03:40 AM
2346: When the DM explains the start of a one shot campaign without once mentioning an arbitrary starting gold amount and specifically saying "You can have anything of up to masterwork quality," I will not ask for an adamantine ATV upon which I might "drive by" and slaughter my foes.

Hiro Protagonest
2011-11-27, 03:12 PM
2341: I may never again open the folder wherein lies the statistics for my homebrew Black Mage Warforged. (circa Final Fantasy 9)

2342: I may never again make a wizard with more spells per day than a sorcerer, 'cuz "it just ain't natural."

2343: I may never again play a whisper gnome regardless of class. Especially not a dervish.

2343b: I may never again attack ten times, deal 10 con damage, move 60', flank greater than five enemies, nor avoid greater than five attacks of opportunity all in one full round action.

2343c: I may never again drop a level of Barbarian to gain Pounce.

2344: I may never again own a hummingbird familiar.

2345: I may never again play bowling for commoners with Defenestrating Sphere.


2342: When the DM explains the start of a one shot campaign without once mentioning an arbitrary starting gold amount and specifically saying "You can have anything of up to masterwork quality," I will not ask for an adamantine ATV upon which I might "drive by" and slaughter my foes.

...What.

2347. Not allowed to get more than three stunt dice in Exalted. No, not even then.

Dr.Orpheus
2011-11-27, 03:37 PM
2348a: In mutants and masterminds I am not allowed to get quintuple my power points by spending all points in getting a follower.

2348b: In mutants and masterminds I am not allowed to get quadruple my power points by spending all points in getting a construct.

2348c: In mutants and masterminds I am not allowed to get one and a half times my power points by spending all points in getting a loseable item.

2349: Can defiantly not combine all three of the above and use drain to gain all the power for myself and become immune to all damage, anything requiring a save, travel through time and deal 30 points of toughness drain per round.

PurityIcekiller
2011-11-27, 04:02 PM
2350: There is no speed limit for monsters.
2351: No more gaining unbeatable earth powers by taking Blind, Young, and Overprotective Parents as disadvantages.
2352: No more min-maxing a character for ridiculously high diplomatic skills.
2353: If using protection spells during an infiltration mission, I may not cause the entire conversation to devolve into a fountain of innuendo.

Choco
2011-11-28, 10:30 AM
2354: Not allowed to keep killing/humiliating all of one specific player's characters.
2354a: Even if all his characters have the "insufferable douchebag" personality type and earn their beatdowns after multiple sessions of smack talking and ignoring warnings.

2355: Not allowed to reflect the BBEG's custom-made Save and Suck spell back at him and thus win the campaign's final battle without even taking a turn.
2355a: Both the Occult Slayer PrC and Ring of Spell-Battle are now banned.
2355b: And just to be safe, all enemies are now immune to their own spells.

2356: After the DM spends a few minutes getting REALLY high rolls and epically describing how his villain has finally penetrated my defenses and landed a crippling blow, I am not allowed to point out that my character is immune to whatever the villain did.

2357: Not allowed to argue that I don't have to make any sort of save/disbelieve roll against an illusion because I passed my Spellcraft check to identify the spell as it was being cast.

2358: Not allowed to have any ranks in Spellcraft unless I have at least one level in a caster class.

Shoelessgdowar
2011-12-04, 12:43 AM
2359: Not allowed to kill a character the GM spent hours on ever again with a Death Blow punch in Heroes Unlimited
2360: Not allowed to cast Entangle where it hinders all the enemies and the jerk party rogue who thinks being a rogue means he should constantly be trying to steal from every party member, despite it being his fault for running into range after I positioned myself so I could be just on one edge and the other edge would end before getting to the rest of the party
2361: Not allowed to make a Parrot Bard again, especially one who was smarter then any other party member and stronger then all the other party members except the Half-Orc Barbarian with the pet rotting corpse over his shoulder who is 3 points stronger and the Chimpanzee Monk who I tied with.

Erik Vale
2011-12-04, 05:23 PM
2361: I am not allowed to use megascaled teleportation with one fixed location (over a active volcano) on anyone but myself.
2361 b: I am not allowed to use extra dimensional movement to transport people into dimensions were they die immedietly, due to either enviromental conditions or inhabitents.
2361 c: I am no longer allowed the useable on others advantage.
2361 d: I am no longer allowed to use the area affect advantage.

2362: My character must be a one dimensional character whose only abilities are lots of KS's.

(Side Note: Heroes. Also, I we may need to change the tittle to include more numbers.)

PurityIcekiller
2011-12-04, 06:30 PM
2364: If the wizard is better in melee than any other character, something is wrong with the party.
2365: I do not need ranks in the Spellcraft skill to write down Craft skills on my character sheet.
2366: Bluff checks to make a diversion to hide do not simply consist of shouting "Look over there!".
2367: I cannot throw or fire more individual projectiles in one round than I can actually hold.
2368: No more convincing other players that the omnicidal maniac is good while the benevolent dictator is evil.
2369: I cannot have "O-Chul" as a character class.

Hiro Protagonest
2011-12-04, 06:33 PM
2364: If the wizard is better in melee than any other character, something is wrong with the party.

Yeah. The cleric's underpowered.

MesiDoomstalker
2011-12-05, 02:52 PM
2370a: Perform (Spoons) is not a legal choice for skill points nor to use Bardic Music with.

2370b: Subtle, even if hilarious, puns in my character name or concept will not be tolerated.

2370c: Especially if its based off of tvtropes and said character spouts out tropes constantly.

Hbgplayer
2011-12-05, 03:43 PM
2370a: Perform (Spoons) is not a legal choice for skill points nor to use Bardic Music with.

2370b: Subtle, even if hilarious, puns in my character name or concept will not be tolerated.

2370c: Especially if its based off of tvtropes and said character spouts out tropes constantly.

How are b&c related to a?

2371: I am not allowed to have my Raven familiar make fun of the tyrant. While we are in his throne room

a) Even if it is in another language that he doesn't understand.
2372: Especially if he is about to grant us all land.

Grail
2011-12-05, 11:30 PM
2373: I am not allowed to detonate a nuclear device in the middle of a city of millions to combat an alien menace that I do not understand.

2374: I am not allowed to conspire with the God of Murder against the party.

ShadowySilence
2011-12-05, 11:52 PM
2375: I am not allowed to make my naive bard character enter the service of another player's pirate goblin and begin conspiring against the rest of the party.

2376: I am not allowed to let said bard sit idly by while the stupid-good paladin mistakes two pixies for imps and attempts to kill them.

2377: I am not allowed to fix any more books with mend, ever...

MesiDoomstalker
2011-12-06, 07:26 PM
How are b&c related to a?

Spoony Bard. (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/SpoonyBard) :smallamused:

Lord Raziere
2011-12-06, 07:42 PM
I just remembered this one:

2378: I cannot say that my Swordmage learned how to be a Swordmage from a book he found one day.

Karoht
2011-12-07, 05:03 PM
2379: Dual Wielding + Smite Attack with a pair of rowboats is not permitted no matter how high one's strength is. In fact, rowboats and oars no longer exist.
2379a: Dual Wielding + Smite Attack with a pair of Celestial Porposes is not permitted no matter how high one's strength is. In fact, Porposes and Whales no longer exist.
2380: Regardless of how many dice the DM rolls to hit us with when firing a cannon, or what the reflex save is to avoid it, or how much DR someone has, if someone in the party has their head in the barrel of the cannon when it fires, the person dies. Period. No save. It is not an acceptable way of knocking someone out and capturing them.
2380a: No, I may not gain a circumstance bonus to Intimidate by ramming someone's head into a cannon barrel and firing it, no matter how may bits of the captain just splattered across the entire crew. The DM will instead flip a coin, on heads, the entire remaining crew will attack whoever just performed/attempted to perform this action, and is considered a Swarm for the duration of 1D8 + CR rounds.

PurityIcekiller
2011-12-07, 05:49 PM
2381: No more designing characters with the Time Stop spell, the Weapon Focus (Throwing Knife) feat, and ranks in Profession (Maid).
2382: I may only seduce other characters that appear to be the same species as my current character.
2383: No skill or feat gives me weapon proficiency with cars.

Hbgplayer
2011-12-08, 02:15 AM
2380a: No, I may not gain a circumstance bonus to Intimidate by ramming someone's head into a cannon barrel and firing it, no matter how may bits of the captain just splattered across the entire crew. The DM will instead flip a coin, on heads, the entire remaining crew will attack whoever just performed/attempted to perform this action, and is considered a Swarm for the duration of 1D8 + CR rounds.

And on Tails? :confused:

2384: I am not allowed to broker peace between the gods. Even when I am a god. :smallfrown:

Shoelessgdowar
2011-12-08, 03:12 AM
2385: I'm not allowed to let a player create a guy who can jump into orbit and then meteor himself back to earth... again
2386: I'm not allowed to let a player intentionally crush the front portion of an airplane with invisible force/telekinetic powers, so he can then turn around and 'save' the plane for the fame and glory... again
2387: I'm not allowed to let a player ram a car magnetically shaped into a large phallic form ram it up the rear end of someone else... again
2388: I'm not allowed to let a player nuke The Fountain's Shopping Center, Galleria, Downtown Houston, any Six Flags Theme Park, The University of Houston, Rice University, Baylor College, Southern Baptist University, or any Houston Community College Campuses... again... especially just to take out one really, really, really Lucky Henchman (Seriously, this guy got named Lucky by the Players because they worst they've ever done to him is cause him to twist his ankle while avoiding one of their attacks... which is why they end up nuking so much in failed attempts to get him)
2389: I'm not allowed to let 'Lucky' clone himself, so if someone ever does beat him, I will not be able to bring him back
2390: I am not allowed to let one player cut off another player's privates and super-fuse them to the owner's forehead... again.

Meph
2011-12-08, 08:06 AM
2391: I am not supposed to be that bad.

Choco
2011-12-10, 02:15 PM
2392: I am not allowed to slowly succumb to the dark side without prior approval from the DM.
2392a: Especially if I am the most heroic and noble character in the party.

PurityIcekiller
2011-12-10, 03:35 PM
2393: I'm no longer allowed to take "Homicidal Maniac" as a flaw.
2394: There is a difference between "clerk" and "cleric", and asking the guy at the desk to cast Cure Light Wounds on me is not allowed.
2395: I cannot gain character points from taking the "Fear of Dragons" flaw if my character is already afraid of everything.
2396: I do not gain experience points for snarking.

ShadowySilence
2011-12-10, 07:49 PM
2397: !niaga reve sdrow-kcab epyt ot dewolla ton ma I

2398: I am not allowed to homebrew a FUS-ROH-DAH power just so I can throw stuff around.

2399: I am not allowed to create a character who is cursed to only speak in one liners.

2400: I am not allowed to give my character the special ability to FIRE MA LAZAR.

2401: I am not allowed to make a character using ideas from TvTropes.com.

2402: I am not allowed to make a bard character with the Lip-Synch specialty.

2403: I am not allowed to play as a flumph.

Bhu
2011-12-11, 03:40 AM
2404: I am no longer allowed to play an Awakened Bonobo for very obvious reasons

Karoht
2011-12-12, 11:42 AM
2396: I do not gain experience points for snarking.Pfffft. I give double XP for good snarking. Or good sarcasm. Or good witty one-liners. Etc. But only if they are in character and non-meta. Puns on a case by case basis.

Temassasin
2011-12-13, 12:08 AM
2405:I may not be an awakened pony and get a 10 point bonus to charisma for being adorable. (Yes i've been watching MLPFIM)

Metahuman1
2011-12-13, 11:02 AM
2405:I may not be an awakened pony and get a 10 point bonus to charisma for being adorable. (Yes i've been watching MLPFIM)

2406: Nor may I have a baby dragon familiar.

Karoht
2011-12-13, 12:33 PM
2406: Have a 2 hour rules arguement about whether or not I can perform action X to have effect y, only to roll a 2 on the check.
(Not caused by me, other players at my table now have a 5 minute rule, so technically it applies to me)

Asta Kask
2011-12-14, 11:42 AM
2407: Not allowed to refer to the GM as a MILF

2408: Especially if the GM is a man

PurityIcekiller
2011-12-14, 02:02 PM
2409: My character's driving motivation to avenge his father's murder does not give him a bonus with swords.
2410: I cannot shoot the same projectile more than once per round.
2411: Before attacking an opponent, I need a reason to fight them.
2412: I do not get experience points for having common sense even if the rest of the party lacks it.

Necroticplague
2011-12-14, 02:30 PM
2412: I do not get experience points for having common sense even if the rest of the party lacks it.

In GURPS, that actually costs experience (10 points, common sense advantage).On a related note:

2413:I may not pay off unkillable level 3 by selecting a list of social stigmas as long as I am tall, especially if they overlap.

True story, some that I used were things like criminal, escaped convict, murderer, rapist, necrophiliac, war criminal, slaughterer, marked man, monster, scourge, and (sexual) deviant

Hiro Protagonest
2011-12-14, 02:41 PM
2406: Nor may I have a baby dragon familiar.


2406: Have a 2 hour rules arguement about whether or not I can perform action X to have effect y, only to roll a 2 on the check.
(Not caused by me, other players at my table now have a 5 minute rule, so technically it applies to me)

I've seen someone ninja'd by 40 minutes once. But one and a half hours? Really?

Karoht
2011-12-14, 03:00 PM
I've seen someone ninja'd by 40 minutes once. But one and a half hours? Really?Oh it happened. Spoilered due to off-topic-ness and ranty-ness.
Something to do with a skill check (I turned my brain off, I think it was something to do with a bullrush), the player performing the check was fine, the DM was fine, another player (highly inexperienced) questioned it. We got most of the stuff straightened out, then it turned into a bit of an arguement about an inexperienced player attempting to audit character sheets (said player also more or less accused people of cheating), then it turned into an audit of the player attempting to make the check, then in the process of this audit it brought up a related concern that made them re-question the original check, so they had to hash that out again, at the nearly two hour mark the DM (who up until this point had been caught up in arguing to remember that he was the DM, so not really his fault) finally sorted the whole thing out, made a ruling, and the check proceeded.
I believe he rolled a 2, though it may have infact been a 1. Yeah.
With all due respect to new players, 2 hours of game time wasted because a nubcake with a bruised ego and a lack of familiarity had to make an arguement at that time rather than before combat, or before session.

mangosta71
2011-12-14, 03:37 PM
Think he was talking about you reusing the number 2406.

2415: I may not create a customized weapon that casts Energy Drain on every hit. Especially if I'm a swordsage/warblade and I like to spam Avalanche of Blades.

Karoht
2011-12-14, 04:41 PM
Derp, I did reuse that number. And totally derped again when Jade pointed this out.

radhop
2011-12-14, 05:45 PM
2416: I am not allowed to hire a assassin to kill a party member when they don't want to share their magic weapon.
2417: Even when it has better stats for my character.

mangosta71
2011-12-15, 01:25 AM
2418: I may not roll a cleric of Pelor and acquire a weapon of disruption for the sole purpose of using the line "I got 99 problems but a lich ain't one."

Mordokai
2011-12-15, 07:41 AM
2405:I may not be an awakened pony and get a 10 point bonus to charisma for being adorable. (Yes i've been watching MLPFIM)

I met your manliness. It was weeping in the corner :smalltongue:

Karoht
2011-12-15, 10:46 AM
2419: I am not allowed to take a hammer and chisel to a Stone or Clay Golem and give it abs and beefy looking biceps (even if I have a relevant profession such as stone cutting or masonry), with the arguement that this should somehow confer a strength bonus. The Golem likely already has a Strength higher than the entire party put together, the +1 bonus he might get out of it if successfully argued, isn't worth the arguement.

Metahuman1
2011-12-15, 01:53 PM
I met your manliness. It was weeping in the corner :smalltongue:

Mature. Real Mature.

PurityIcekiller
2011-12-15, 02:03 PM
I met your manliness. It was weeping in the corner :smalltongue:

That's more than can be said about me. I'm not even sure if my manliness ever existed.

2420: I cannot have a crossbow that fires more than six quarrels a round per target aimed at.
2421: Bigger lasers are not a good substitute for the Diplomacy skill.
2422: I'm not allowed to have multiple types of griffon with slightly different spellings to confuse people.
2423: Sacrificing sanity for greater spellcasting abilities is not a good idea.
2424: Abuse of time manipulation powers wasn't, isn't, will never be, would never have been, and hasn't been allowed.

Omeganaut
2011-12-15, 07:44 PM
I met your manliness. It was weeping in the corner :smalltongue:

2425: I'm not allowed to take snide comment from this thread as inspiration for a character.
2425b: Or NPC
2426: There is no such thing as smite allusion, and I will stop trying to use it on the Brony in the party.
2426b: No, just because Richard fights for pony, does not mean ponies are evil, and that I can smite the Brony on that technicality.
2427: Researching the source of "the nonsense" and slowly converting my character into a villain from said source will cause a TPK due to a giant forehead smashing down on the world until the DM's pain goes away.

motoko's ghost
2011-12-15, 09:22 PM
2428: I may not use epic spells to turn everyone in the campaign world into my hivemind.
2429: I am not allowed Epic spells at all.
2430: I am not allowed any class other than a commoner until I've taken my medication(stop breaking the game!)
2431: No matter how high my charisma and diplomacy is, I cannot convert a succubus to good by seducing her.

ShadowySilence
2011-12-18, 09:05 PM
2432: I may not play as a character based off of the personality of Q/Discord.
2433: I may not have said character speak mainly in quotations from those persons.
2434: Even if it would mean fun times, mariachi bands, and chocolate rain...
2435: I may not play as a bard who reads the works of Edgar Allan Poe.
2436: I may not allow my ranger to keep two trained swallows with a coconut tied between them just to prove his point.

Hiro Protagonest
2011-12-18, 09:28 PM
Mature. Real Mature.

Killjoy.

Ans did you try that in all caps? the only time I see all the words capitalized is when you try to do all caps.

Metahuman1
2011-12-18, 09:42 PM
Killjoy.

Ans did you try that in all caps? the only time I see all the words capitalized is when you try to do all caps.

No, no I didn't. I capitalized the first letter of the last word in that statement for Emphasis, and the first two letters of the other two as a matter of grammar.


And please understand, I work in a place were I spend the shift putting up with Catty, Bitchy, Lazy ******* who all have an absolute GOD complex. Certain comments are not gonna be met by me with significant amounts of patients.

Cieyrin
2011-12-18, 09:54 PM
2437. One will contribute to the list, not natter on about patches of rain or the state of their fonts.
2438. I'm not allowed to one up the DM's girlfriend ever again.
2439. Not allowed to add bears to anything again.
2440. When the new PC shows up, my first response shouldn't be to charm him.
2441. I shouldn't bluff the barbarian into thinking the local town only trades in ducks.
2442. Putting on cat ears doesn't give anyone a bonus to their Charisma.
2443. The value of objects is not determined by how flammable they are.

Q'telun
2011-12-18, 10:35 PM
2444. I am not allowed to polymorph the king into a newt, no matter how quickly I cast break enchantment afterwards
2445. I shouldn't try to pin the shambling mound.

Metahuman1
2011-12-19, 08:42 AM
2444. I am not allowed to polymorph the king into a newt, no matter how quickly I cast break enchantment afterwards
2445. I shouldn't try to pin the shambling mound.

2446: If the King makes his save, I am not allowed to try to bluff him into thinking he did so because I helped him and it was really the character in the party that no one likes that did it.

2447: Particularly if that character can't cast spells and has no ranks in use magic device.

motoko's ghost
2011-12-19, 08:58 AM
2448: I will not deliberately post alignment debate posts up on chatboards to feed flamewars
2449: I will not use internet chatboards to overrule rule 0
2450: I am not allowed on internet chatboards
2451: I am not using a dwarf for that!:smalleek:
2452: I am also not doing that at all, and am to take my medication and go lie down in my padded room.

Omeganaut
2011-12-19, 10:30 PM
2453: My characters are all banned from creating any sort of forum, message board, or other anonymous interaction system.
2454: My characters are banned from trying to reproduce modern social media in the ancient world. BookFace the Twitterer wasn't even subtle!
2455: NO MORE INSPIRATION FROM WHAT I JUST DID ON THE COMPUTER. DEAR CTHULHU NEVER AGAIN!

PurityIcekiller
2011-12-19, 10:40 PM
2456: My character is not allowed to become a zombie in the midst of a battle with demons.
2457: No member of the party may be eviller than the actual villains.
2458: I cannot install an answering machine for the Call of Cthulhu.
2459: I may not take Weapon Focus for any of the following things: Unrealistically Oversized Sword; Fox; Pizza Cutter; Basket; Witty Insult; or Trebuchet.

motoko's ghost
2011-12-19, 11:01 PM
2456: My character is not allowed to become a zombie in the midst of a battle with demons.
2457: No member of the party may be eviller than the actual villains.


Nice.

2460: My character is dead,making him sing "I feel happy" or that he's going to go for a walk will earn me a DMG to the head.
2461: I will not call pazuzu's name three time then ask if his refrigerator is running.
2462: When the final BBEG of the campaign is defeated by the skin of our teeth I may not pick up his evil maguffin and one-shot the party so I can become the new BBEG.
2463: No...Just No.

Lord Raziere
2011-12-20, 12:28 AM
2464: My character cannot see the future.
2465: No my character cannot have a talking cat, said cat cannot love fish, and yes you need to have an explanation for why the cat is talking
2466: My pacifistic healer is not allowed to put on a superhero costume and fight supervillains in a medieval setting.
2467: My former pacifistic healer-then-superhero, is then not allowed to become a metal rockstar in a medieval setting
2468: No, my character cannot have a half-orc girlfriend who everyone keeps saying is ugly because of the fangs on her lower jaw
2469: said half-orc girlfriend is not allowed to be the center of any prophecy or story, ever.
2470: Assuming that I am ever allowed to make a character that can see the future, he will use his powers responsibly and not manipulate everyone like puppets.
2471: My character can never again get a free vacation just because they decided to overreact for no reason
2472: however the future-seeing character can get punched in the balls whenever it is deemed necessary, and such things are unfortunately always necessary
2473: No making my paladin character completely and totally evil for no reason just because I'm playing him ironically and want people to disagree with him
2474: My character's concept can NEVER be "heroic rapist" Ever.
2475: Furthermore as a DM, I am never ever allowed to run a long campaign through wastes populated by herbivorous orcs, ever again.

Obviously not mine, can you guess who REALLY did these stupid things?

Asta Kask
2011-12-20, 07:33 AM
2476: I may not fondle the GM.

Q'telun
2011-12-20, 11:56 AM
2477. As DM, I am no longer allowed to use Half-Fiend Great Wyrm Red dragons for anything
2478. Or any other half-fiend chromatic dragon for that matter
2479. I will not create a weapon of pure evil capable of wiping out civilization, and then give it to the psychopathic ogre.

Grue Bait
2011-12-20, 12:47 PM
2480:I may not make an "arrow to the knee" reference. Ever. For anything.

PurityIcekiller
2011-12-20, 01:45 PM
2481: I cannot create a character with ancestry from more than four different species.
2482: Creating a diversion to hide doesn't consist of shouting whether or not Balrogs have wings, either.
2483: My bard cannot know "Never Gonna Give You Up" under any circumstances.

motoko's ghost
2011-12-20, 03:18 PM
2484: I may not metagame.
2485: my character also cannot metagame
2486: my characters cohort,followers,familiars mounts or anything I might control cannot metagame
2487: my character is not the one, he cannot realise reality is a lie
2488: my character cannot kill the DM, thus becoming the new DM
2489: neither may I

mangosta71
2011-12-20, 04:56 PM
2490: My character may not arrange another player's character's death so that he can hook up with the grieving widow.
2491: I may not describe my (non-good) character's interrogation techniques at the table. Especially if food is present.
2492: I may never utter the words, "There's only one thing to do in a situation like this: strut!"
2492a: Nor may I convince the bard to play what I consider an appropriate soundtrack for said strutting.
2493: If my horror campaign makes my players question their sanity, I may be taking things too far.

Wookieetank
2011-12-21, 09:41 AM
2494. If my character's actions makes the DM question thier sanity, I may be taking things too far :smallwink:

2495. I may not use making the DM headdesk as the motivation for any of my plans.
2495a. Even if the plans could plausably work.

motoko's ghost
2011-12-21, 03:26 PM
2494. If my character's actions makes the DM question thier sanity, I may be taking things too far :smallwink:

2496: If my character's actions DONT make the DM question their sanity I'm not taking things far enough.:biggrin:

Metahuman1
2011-12-21, 03:37 PM
2497: As the DM: I may not have a mission that required the annihilation of a cult of the cult are worshipers of Medium or smaller Equine creatures and/or Deitys if my group of players have one or more bronies and/or peagasisters.

2498: If I break 2497, I will not be surprised if the Bronie/Peagasister members attack and kill some/all the other party in defense of the cult.

2499: If I break 2497 and the entire rest of the group of players are bronies/Peagasisters, I will not be surprised if they all elect to join the cult as a group.

2500: Nor will I do ANYTHING to try to force them back on the originally intended plot rail!

Q'telun
2011-12-22, 05:35 PM
2501. If the players actions call my sanity into question, I am not allowed to teleport them to the Elemental plane of pain.
2502. There is no elemental plane of pain.

PurityIcekiller
2011-12-22, 05:44 PM
2503: There is no Plane of Antimagic, and even if there is, no interplanar travel spells can transport things to or from there.
2504: I can no longer tickle opponents while grappling.
2505: Dwarves do not have weapon proficiency with magma.
2506: I do not get a bonus to hit just because I feel like it.

Q'telun
2011-12-22, 05:49 PM
I am so giving dwarves Weapon Proficiency (Magma) in my next campaign.

Choco
2011-12-22, 11:12 PM
2497: As the DM: I may not have a mission that required the annihilation of a cult of the cult are worshipers of Medium or smaller Equine creatures and/or Deitys if my group of players have one or more bronies and/or peagasisters.

2498: If I break 2497, I will not be surprised if the Bronie/Peagasister members attack and kill some/all the other party in defense of the cult.

2499: If I break 2497 and the entire rest of the group of players are bronies/Peagasisters, I will not be surprised if they all elect to join the cult as a group.

2500: Nor will I do ANYTHING to try to force them back on the originally intended plot rail!

2507: As DM, I am not allowed to create the above situation on purpose just so I can watch the confused/sad/horrified/betrayed looks on the player's faces as the cult traps and attacks them anyway and they are forced to either defend themselves or roll up new characters :smallamused:

2508: As DM, the villain's sole motivation cannot be that he likes stories of epic heroes, and knowing that heroes are defined by the villains they face he becomes a villain just to see the kinds of epic heroes that rise to challenge him.

2509: As DM, I am not allowed to have there be (negative) consequences for the PC's actions.

2510: As DM, any information the players don't know about can't be used against them, otherwise I am obviously pulling a Diabolus Ex Machina.
2510a: If the players "didn't expect that to happen" then I obviously just made it up on the spot only to power trip and take them down.
2510b: Even if I have campaign notes that are months old to prove I wasn't making it up.

motoko's ghost
2011-12-25, 10:53 PM
2508: As DM, the villain's sole motivation cannot be that he likes stories of epic heroes, and knowing that heroes are defined by the villains they face he becomes a villain just to see the kinds of epic heroes that rise to challenge him.

2510: As DM, any information the players don't know about can't be used against them, otherwise I am obviously pulling a Diabolus Ex Machina.
2510a: If the players "didn't expect that to happen" then I obviously just made it up on the spot only to power trip and take them down.
2510b: Even if I have campaign notes that are months old to prove I wasn't making it up.


2511: AS DM I cannot stat up general tarquin:smalltongue:
2512: neither can I write up deliberately vague plot twists months in advance just to pull them on my players just when they weren't expecting it.
2513: I may not DM a horror campaign ever again(this is actually a rule in real life:smallamused:)
2514: I may not co-host a horror campaign
2515: i am not allowed near any horror material at all.

PurityIcekiller
2011-12-25, 11:26 PM
2516: Even if paladins are the only character class required to be good, it is not meant as an invitation for other characters to be evil.
2517: My wizard cannot take the flaw "Fanatical Disbeliever in the Supernatural" under any circumstances.
2518: There is an upper limit to how many ailment flaws I can give a character just to improve their spellcasting abilities.
2519: I cannot kill any more monsters with Rube Goldberg devices, no matter how fun it is.
2520: My weapon's range cannot be in light-years.

Q'telun
2011-12-26, 11:00 PM
2521. As DM, I am not allowed to metagame.
2522. I cannot make allusions that the average college student would not get.
2523. Especially if those allusions are the answers to the riddles that will prevent the elemental plane of fire from exploding.

Metahuman1
2011-12-28, 12:34 AM
2524: The Dm may not play Dead Island right before plotting out a quest. Particularly if his quest already involved a mysterious plague before he started playing Dead Island.

motoko's ghost
2011-12-29, 10:59 PM
2525: I may not create characters with the express purpose of fulfilling as many of this list's items as possible:smalltongue:

ShadowySilence
2011-12-30, 10:09 PM
2526: I may not create a hombrew class of Defense Attorney, and then name my character Phoenix Wright.
2527: I may not use Phoenix Wright quotations in game.
2528: Make that out of game as well...
2529: As a DM I may not pit my players against a horde of creepers from Minecraft, especially after letting them find some really good treasure.

PurityIcekiller
2011-12-30, 10:45 PM
2530: Shopkeepers are not automatically Level 50.
2531: Ice fairies are not stronger than any other character races.
2532: I cannot use time-manipulation powers to skip ahead to when I'm a higher-level character.
2533: Clubs don't cost anything, but that doesn't mean I can conjure an infinite number out of thin air, either.
2534: Creatures do not get attack bonuses for being adorable.
2535: My weapon or ammunition cannot be alive at any point during its use.

motoko's ghost
2011-12-31, 02:08 AM
2535: My weapon or ammunition cannot be alive at any point during its use.

2536: My weapon or ammunition cannot have been alive less than a few rounds ago.

Ninjaman
2011-12-31, 05:34 AM
2537: I am not alowed to name my drow Drizzt

Archonic Energy
2012-01-03, 09:56 AM
2538 I may not have 2 8Kg U233 golems charge at each other
2539 I may not craft a 10Kg slug then accelerate it to 2% of light-speed...
2540 in fact while i'm at it no using physics to kill things

Choco
2012-01-03, 07:07 PM
2538 I may not have 2 8Kg U233 golems charge at each other
2539 I may not craft a 10Kg slug then accelerate it to 2% of light-speed...
2540 in fact while i'm at it no using physics to kill things

2541: If anyone in the party uses physics to 1-shot what was supposed to be a difficult boss encounter, we are not allowed to whine when the DM uses physics to TPK the party.
2541a: Especially if everyone agreed that as soon as the players pull out some game-breaking cheese or physics it becomes fair game for the DM to do it too.
2541b: This also applies to the argument "I know the game rules say <x>, but realistically that would not be possible..."

PurityIcekiller
2012-01-03, 07:38 PM
2542: No adding extra digits to my character level unless they're zeroes at the beginning.
2543: No character class has weapon proficiency with clocks.
2544: The party meat shield is not the character we could get the most money from selling the equipment of.
2545: I do not get bonus experience if I'm the only member of the party with any moral standards.
2546: Lances are not an essential weapon for the second-in-command.

Kelvin360
2012-01-04, 02:06 AM
2547: No matter where we are, I cannot randomly scream 'THIS. IS. [Insert place here]!!!' whenever anyone mentions madness.

2548: I may not make a child character with an intelligence of 30 who has a tiger familiar.

2548b: ESPECIALLY if I name him 'Calvin'.

2549: Any puns that cause the DM to pop an aspirin will get me beaten with a 'Humor for Dummies' book.

2550: If our characters are trying to save the world, my character's motivation cannot be 'for the lulz'.

2551: No matter how powerful I am, I cannot make the God of Evil put on a tutu and dance in front of a cleric of said diety.

2552: Death is not permanent, but I am not allowed to have my inventory consist entirely of scrolls of resurrection.

2552b: Particularly if my intention is to get my fellow players killed enough to where, when we finalyl meet the boss, they're all level 2 and i'm level 14.

2553: I may not custom-make a spell called 'insurrection' to form a rebel army just because the current Empire cheesed me off.

2554: I cannot cause catastrophic events that kill everyone just for the sake of a reference or a pun.

2555: There are no such thing as mole people, and they cannot shoot laser beams from their eyes.

2556: I cannot communicate using a language I don't speak simply by imitating the voice of the person i'm speaking to and making funny faces. No matter what my bluff is.

Ninjaman
2012-01-04, 09:17 AM
2557: There are never brothels in any of the towns.

2558: I may never use my carisma score to sleep with the female evil villain.

2559: I can not use a holy grail reference without activating a trap.

Beacon of Chaos
2012-01-04, 12:54 PM
2560: Finding "The world's closest shave" is not a valid character motive, especially for a dwarf.

2561: If I say that my rogue will "steal the Princess' heart" I must state if I mean that figuratively or literally. Either way, my Sleight of Hand skill will never be high enough to steal an internal organ without its owner knowing.

2562: My Drunken Master may use improvised weapons. Dire sharks do not count as improvised weapons, especially if I intend to dual wield them.

2563: Morray eels cannot be used as improvised whips.

2564: Flirting with barmaids is expected. Flirting with the Queen is pushing it. Flirting with beholders is just plain wrong.

2565: No matter how adorable I think she is, and no matter how innocent my intentions are, I may not pick up Jaela Daran and give her a hug. She's the pope of an entire religion and I must show respect.

Metahuman1
2012-01-04, 03:21 PM
2565: No matter how adorable I think she is, and no matter how innocent my intentions are, I may not pick up Jaela Daran and give her a hug. She's the pope of an entire religion and I must show respect.

Um, is that the child who when she's in the Sanctome of the Silver Flame in Eberron or what ever it's called is treated as like an 18th lvl cleric?

PurityIcekiller
2012-01-04, 03:28 PM
2566: My rogue's motivation cannot involve restoring his honour by capturing another party member.
2567: I do not deal extra damage to opponents if I'm sufficiently annoyed at them.
2568: Lying on a resume in-character is allowed. Lying on a character sheet out-of-character is not.
2569: My fighter cannot whack any more people through doors.
2570: I cannot ask my opponent if I get six attacks per round, or only five.

Beacon of Chaos
2012-01-04, 03:53 PM
Um, is that the child who when she's in the Sanctome of the Silver Flame in Eberron or what ever it's called is treated as like an 18th lvl cleric?
That's right. She's the 11 year old spiritual leader of a continent spanning religion.

And she's adorable. (http://eberroncomic.blogspot.com/2008/12/character-intro.html)

motoko's ghost
2012-01-06, 04:59 AM
That's right. She's the 11 year old spiritual leader of a continent spanning religion.

And she's adorable. (http://eberroncomic.blogspot.com/2008/12/character-intro.html)

2571:I may not play as a 11 year old barbarian/wizard for my own amusement and to see how many laugh I can get
2571a:even if she's adorable

Metahuman1
2012-01-06, 01:25 PM
2572: I cannot play a Pixie Who's back-story involves a Bestow Curse Spell causing a Size reduction in my family line for generations, and has the Born Small Homebrew Trait.

2573: More so if I am any kind of None Caster or Gish.

2574: Especially if I'm doing something insane with mounted or unarmed melee combat and out damaging the rest of the party by a long shot.

2575: Also cannot do with any other tiny or smaller Fey with a massive Cha.

2576: No matter how awesome/badass/Adorable it/they might be.


Haven't actually done that one, but I intended to do it one of these days just for the giggles.

Cieyrin
2012-01-06, 04:18 PM
2566: My rogue's motivation cannot involve restoring his honour by capturing another party member.

I have done that, though it was restoring the honor of my previous character, who the party member in question killed by accident (Shooting into a grapple? Bad idea!). Given that previous character was the bastard son of a merchant prince and new character was his retainer sent out to retrieve him from danger, it made sense. Also was a Whisper Gnome Ninja. So much fun! :smallwink:

2577. I'm not allowed to provide lines for the bard anymore.

2577b. Even if he's no good at taunts and jokes. :smallfrown:

Necroticplague
2012-01-11, 07:09 AM
2578: Staring at a medusa's breasts is not a valid way to avoid its gaze attack.

BlueDice
2012-01-11, 07:43 AM
I have done that, though it was restoring the honor of my previous character, who the party member in question killed by accident (Shooting into a grapple? Bad idea!). Given that previous character was the bastard son of a merchant prince and new character was his retainer sent out to retrieve him from danger, it made sense. Also was a Whisper Gnome Ninja. So much fun! :smallwink:

2579: Im not allowed to make a new charecter whoes sole purpose is to kill the player/s that i feel caused my dead.

PurityIcekiller
2012-01-11, 03:57 PM
The one about the rogue was actually based on one of my own characters, who I only realized resembled Prince Zuko after I'd finished his concept.

2580: Enemies do not take damage if I accidentally hit their miniatures with the dice.
2581: No more escaping imprisonment with a 1st-level spell.
2582: If our main antagonist is the most moral person in the world, something is wrong with the party.
2583: I cannot kill something with taunts alone.

Archpaladin Zousha
2012-01-11, 04:23 PM
2584. I don't care if you got raucous applause from the other players, no more Man of La Mancha songs at the table! (Note: I actually did this with my bard/cavalier.)

Cieyrin
2012-01-11, 09:07 PM
2579: Im not allowed to make a new charecter whoes sole purpose is to kill the player/s that i feel caused my dead.

Would it make a difference if I just captured and turned the party over to my boss, ex-character's father? :smalltongue:

2585. I'm never allowed Wild Magic ever again.

Hattted
2012-01-12, 12:58 PM
2586. I am not allowed to surrender to the bandits, just because I have less money than anyone else in the group.

2587. I am not to go exploring a cave in the mountains, all alone, at night, just because It was cold.

2588. I am not to set the forest on fire, just because I had a bad dream that involved treants.

2589. I am not to give out my party members' locations, just because I failed the hide check.

PurityIcekiller
2012-01-12, 03:42 PM
2590: All my skills can't be with various kinds of swords.
2591: My character's goals cannot involve or result in the complete annihilation of any sentient species.
2592: Using TV Tropes against an enemy, no matter the circumstances, is an Evil act.
2593: I do not get roleplaying experience for leaving the party after all my teammates do something spectacularly stupid.

Choco
2012-01-12, 11:41 PM
2593: I do not get roleplaying experience for leaving the party after all my teammates do something spectacularly stupid.

2594: Nor do I get XP or kudos if, while the rest of the party were out getting themselves killed by being spectacularly stupid, I chose to not be a part of that idiocy and instead did something to further our goals during that time.

2595: As DM or a player, I am not allowed to factor the party doing something incredibly stupid into any of my plans.
2595a: Even if I am right a good 9/10 of the time.

2596: It is apparently considered a **** move to play a missing player's character by looking at all possible options and choosing the stupidest of those.
2596a: Especially if said PC has high Int and Wis scores.
2596b: Even if I am right a good 9/10 of the time (and the 1/10 of the time I am wrong is because I overlooked what was ACTUALLY the stupidest option...).

2597: I am not allowed to take the Exotic Weapon Proficiency: Fecal Matter feat.
2597a: Even if my character is an ape and it would be completely in character to do so.
2597b: This feat in fact does not exist, and never will.

2598: Holy Word + caster level boosting cheese + wiping out the BBEG during our first encounter, when he was supposed to demonstrate how powerful he is = me not getting invited back to the game for a long time.

2599: When one of the first things a DM says is something about how overpowered the base 3.5 Monk is, I am not allowed to see that as an opportunity to try all the game-breaking cheese that all my previous DM's vetoed.

2600: I am not allowed to laugh when the DM's patience with the resident Chaotic Stupid party member finally wears out.

AgentofHellfire
2012-01-15, 11:28 AM
2601. I am not allowed to use my ridiculously high Bluff modifier when the DM clearly wants us to fight, or do something of that nature. Even if it makes the most sense.
2602. I am not allowed to torture people for information.
2603. I am not allowed, under any circumstances, to use telekinesis to force choke people.
2604. When the DM expects us to go in as an adventuring party and nothing else, I am not allowed to use my character's vast wealth and holdings to hire an army of mercenaries, nor am I allowed to use any of the planar binding spells for the same end result.
2605. I am not allowed to use Otiluke's Telekinetic Sphere to just encage the people we're fighting for no saving throw, and leave.
2606. I am not allowed to just destroy the entire building the BBEG is in. I must actually go in and fight him.
2607. Whenever townsfolk or other commoners are involved, I am not allowed to meet their force in kind.
2608. I will not use bestow curse as a means of keeping party members in line.
2609. I will not kill members of my party because I or my character deems them untrustworthy.

Karoht
2012-01-16, 07:17 PM
2610: I will not cast Bestow Curse on someone and then attempt to sell them snake oil as a cure.
2610a: I will not use party members to demonstrate to crowds of people that my snake oil cure-all works by casting Bestow Curse on them.
2611: I will not sell saps ever again. Especially when in the middle of a desert. No matter how clever it may be to sell sand to desert people (a sap is a small leather bag with sand in it), and no matter how clever I may feel to sell saps to a bunch of saps.

PurityIcekiller
2012-01-16, 07:26 PM
2612: I may not name my wizard character Ozymandias, especially if I say he's a wonderful person.
2613: Bards do not get a bonus with damage from wide-area projectile attacks.
2614: The power of love is not designed primarily for combat.
2615: If my character has multiple personalities, they do not get class levels for each personality.
2616: Male and heterosexual unicorns do too exist.

Kelvin360
2012-01-16, 07:51 PM
2617: Thou shalt not use ye olde butchered englishe in thy campaign which doth consisteth of only frenchly-accented people.

2618: Shouldst the above cometh to pass, thee shalt not quotest thy 'Gandalf'.

2618a: Even when fightingst a balor. Eth.

2619: 'Death to the Warm Bloods' cannot be the battlecry of your yuan-ti if there are in fact warm bloods in the party.

2619a: Particularly if you are in fact planning to betray them.

2620: Paladins and/or clerics played by me are no longer allowed to have ranks in bluff. (Yes, there is a story behind that. Yes, anyone can ask.)



2581: No more escaping imprisonment with a 1st-level spell.

The hay spell was that?!

Karoht
2012-01-16, 08:06 PM
2617: Thou shalt not use ye olde butchered englishe in thy campaign which doth consisteth of only frenchly-accented people.Question for clarification.
What if one hath in their possetion, thine Holy Handgrenade of Antioch? Wouldest not one recite to one's allies, the correct handling and usage of such a device?
Wouldest not one inform the user, that one must count to three, that one willeth not count to four, nor shall one count to two unless proceeding directly onwards to three, and that "Five is right out!"

Shouldest this not be?


Clarification the Second?
What if you are lobbing the Holy Handgrenade of Antioch at the French People with Outrageous Accents, whom previously did suggest that one's mother was a hamster?

Metahuman1
2012-01-16, 08:09 PM
Question for clarification.
What if one hath in their possetion, thine Holy Handgrenade of Antioch? Wouldest not one recite to one's allies, the correct handling and usage of such a device?
Wouldest not one inform the user, that one must count to three, that one willeth not count to four, nor shall one count to two unless proceeding directly onwards to three, and that "Five is right out!"

Shouldest this not be?


Clarification the Second?
What if you are lobbing the Holy Handgrenade of Antioch at the French People with Outrageous Accents, whom previously did suggest that one's mother was a hamster?

*There is no Holy Hand Grenade.
*No, not even then.

PurityIcekiller
2012-01-16, 08:33 PM
The hay spell was that?!

This comic (http://www.irregularwebcomic.net/22.html) gives an example.

2621: Archons do not get bonuses with bows.
2622: Elves do not automatically have ranks in Craft (Toymaking).
2623: No claiming that the Fox's Cunning spell should reduce Intelligence rather than improve it using their listed Intelligence of 2 as proof.
2624: Crossbreeding kitsune with feline people to produce cats-o'-nine-tails is forbidden.

AgentofHellfire
2012-01-16, 08:41 PM
2620: Paladins and/or clerics played by me are no longer allowed to have ranks in bluff. (Yes, there is a story behind that. Yes, anyone can ask.

I'm asking. :smalltongue:

(Plus there's a story behind all of mine, as well--or, if not, I at least contemplated these)

2625. I am not allowed to take advantage of a warforged party member, or party member otherwise treated as property's, one weakness to kidnap them and deliver them to the people I'm working for.
2626. I am not allowed to play characters with Medieval Italian accents.
2627. I will not kill NPCs that are important to plot and just cast speak with dead/find someone who will to get the information we needed.
2628. I will not turn in fellow party members, even if they are criminals and my character was required to be Lawful Evil.
2629. I will not take advantage of rules the DM added in through rule zero to one situation only to alter the entire timestream.

Choco
2012-01-16, 09:50 PM
2630: No matter how high my relevant skills are, how rich I am, OR what the rules say, I am not allowed to build/summon/reanimate anything that could kill all of our enemies and the whole party without breaking a sweat.

Kelvin360
2012-01-16, 11:06 PM
*There is no Holy Hand Grenade.
*No, not even then.

Faith, thy speakest truth!

2631: The party lasher cannot use the third hand ability with a coil of rope to pick the keys off the guard who is watching our cell.

motoko's ghost
2012-01-17, 05:02 AM
2632: I may not fire myself out of a siege weapon for the purpose of surprising my enemies to get a sneak attack.
2633: I may not fire myself out of a siege weapon to use my body as ammunition/reach the fight faster
2633a: I dont get bonus damage for wearing spiked full-plate
2633b: I cant fire my party members out of siege weapons for the same purpose.
2634: I cannot build a golem made of siege weapons.
2635: Just leave the sige weapons alone, okay:smallsigh:

Riverdance
2012-01-21, 12:21 PM
2636 I may not name my character after cheap beer. Example: Cleric-Bud the Wiser, Paladin-Miller the Light.

Ninjaman
2012-01-21, 01:50 PM
*Bows for Rivardance*
That was awesome!

PurityIcekiller
2012-01-21, 02:52 PM
2637: I cannot deliberately misspell things written in Explosive Runes just to get pedants to read them.
2638: Upon resurrection, my character doesn't get bonus experience if they died in an especially spectacular, hilarious, or stupid way.
2639: I may not play a character of the opposite sex if said character is a cross-dresser, and I'm definitely not allowed to play Polly Perks.
2640: There is no skill I can get a bonus on by being naked.
2641: A character with no ranks in Perform cannot use this to weaponize music.

Metahuman1
2012-01-21, 05:38 PM
2637: I cannot deliberately misspell things written in Explosive Runes just to get pedants to read them.
2638: Upon resurrection, my character doesn't get bonus experience if they died in an especially spectacular, hilarious, or stupid way.
2639: I may not play a character of the opposite sex if said character is a cross-dresser, and I'm definitely not allowed to play Polly Perks.
2640: There is no skill I can get a bonus on by being naked.
2641: A character with no ranks in Perform cannot use this to weaponize music.

*I cannot weaponize being Nude no matter how high, or heavens forbid, low, my Cha is.

Hiro Protagonest
2012-01-21, 05:39 PM
*I cannot weaponize being Nude no matter how high, or heavens forbid, low, my Cha is.

This isn't the thread in Roleplaying Games. Use numbers, not asterisks.

2643. The solution is not to build a tank.

Hbgplayer
2012-01-21, 06:14 PM
2644: I may not kill the BBEG by ramming his ship with my own.

a) Doubly if this is in space.

Metahuman1
2012-01-21, 07:30 PM
This isn't the thread in Roleplaying Games. Use numbers, not asterisks.

2643. The solution is not to build a tank.

Ack! Dyslexic Moment! Sorry. :smallredface:

(I really am one. The only reason anything I post is even remotely legible is because Firefox has a spell check.)

Cieyrin
2012-01-22, 01:32 PM
This isn't the thread in Roleplaying Games. Use numbers, not asterisks.

2643. The solution is not to build a tank.

2645. If 2643 is broken, I may not use it to hunt elves for pieces of a spell tattooed across their bodies.
2646. I may not grant said tank sentience.
2647. I may not acquire a bunch of Devices of Kwalish at a steep discount, since no one wants them, and start a Crab Battle Arena to please the common folk.
2648. The DM will be displeased if I crit and one shot her supposedly challenging monster that was supposed to be something to give trouble to the entire party.
2648a. The DM does not appreciate having pointed out that it lacked knowledge of guns and that it flew exactly into my range, making it a ripe target.

PurityIcekiller
2012-01-22, 02:29 PM
2649: I'm not allowed to be pedantic about what people call magic items.
2650: I cannot consider neutral characters to be worse than evil characters.
2651: Paladins that plunge off cliffs or the like do not automatically lose their powers.

Erik Vale
2012-01-22, 03:10 PM
2651: Paladins that plunge off cliffs or the like do not automatically lose their powers.

2561a: Same Goes for all Angel's and divine Classes.
2561b: Same goes for the reverse for evil and hellish classes, in such that a Infernal Warlock cannot reverse the falling off a cliff by flying up a cliff and thus earn redemption, even if he isn't currently bound by a pact.

2562: No matter how funny or how evil, evil characters cannot through angels off cliffs after clipping their wings, especially while saying 'I hope you enjoy your fall without grace, from grace.'
2562b: Especially if the area we are in is called grace for some innane region, and changing that sentance to make it marginally less funny because the angel is called grace, will get me smote, by an evil god. Because not even Bane would put up with my humor for an evil act.

Choco
2012-02-02, 09:22 PM
2563: I am not allowed to justify being a rules lawyer by saying "well, the rest of the group can't be bothered to even learn the rules regarding their own characters, so if *I* don't learn their rules for them, we will spend over half of each session just looking through rules..."

Xerinous
2012-02-03, 12:41 AM
2563: I am not allowed to justify being a rules lawyer by saying "well, the rest of the group can't be bothered to even learn the rules regarding their own characters, so if *I* don't learn their rules for them, we will spend over half of each session just looking through rules..."

2563a: I'm not allowed to justify being a rules lawyer by applying a similar argument to the DM.

2564: I'm no longer allowed to use called shots to shoot arrows into the knees of enemies.
2564a: I'm not allowed to reference Skyrim or related memes ever again.

2565: No more reassuring NPC's that we won't kill them by telling them we could have killed them at any time.
2565a: "But I only have 7 charisma" is not a good justification for doing so.

2566: My full caster should not be able to take a sneak attack for half his health, and then turn around and kill the rogue who dealt it without even casting a spell.

PurityIcekiller
2012-02-03, 01:14 AM
2567: I do not get experience points for saying witty one-liners after killing someone.
2568: There is no character class that gives me the ability to wield six blades at once.
2569: Pinkie Pie is not a character class.
2571: I may not use time magic just to screw with people.
2570: If our campaign is set in the Dark Ages, I'm not allowed to find a light switch.
2572: I may not cast spells or wield weapons out-of-character.

Wookieetank
2012-02-03, 08:56 AM
2570: If our campaign is set in the Dark Ages, I'm not allowed to find a light switch.


2570a. I may not invent the lightswitch either.

Mynxae
2012-02-03, 09:02 AM
2573. I must not make a Half-Fiend Cleric, make it into a Lich asap and take over the world with undead minions of doom.
2573a. Not even if I bribe the DM with cookies.
2573b. Or delicious delicious cake.

mangosta71
2012-02-03, 10:10 AM
2753c. Nor may I do it with a dread necromancer of any race. But especially not a half-fiend.

MesiDoomstalker
2012-02-03, 12:40 PM
2574a: I may not make a Wizard who's sole action in combat is to spam Magic Missile and make "Pew! Pew!" sounds in and out of character.

2574b: Even if he is still the most effective member in the party.

2574c: Espcially if he is the most effective member in the party.

2575a: My heavily armored defender can not be faster than the Thri-Keen Monk.

2575b: I can not avoid combat by challenge enemies to foot races and winning.

2575c: Especially if its against the BBEG and I subsequently kill him solo while he's exhausted.

2576a: I am not allowed short range, tatical teleportation.

2576b: Especially on a non-arcane, melee focused character.

EDIT: I blame TPAM.

Xerinous
2012-02-03, 01:36 PM
2577*: When the party's NPC commander says "Don't kill anyone you don't have to", it is not a challenge to see how many creative justifications I can find for slaughtering anyone who gets in my way.

2578: I'm no longer allowed access to Improved Critical, especially in conjunction with any weapon with a base critical range of 18-20.

2579: "Sleep with [insert female PC's name]" is not an appropriate motivation for becoming an adventurer, nor for joining the party.

2580: Polymorph Any Object cannot create anti-matter.

2581: I'm no longer allowed to complain about racist NPC's when I knew they would be prejudiced against me from the start.

*We got a little out of order.

Metahuman1
2012-02-03, 02:56 PM
2582: I may not use Greater Mighty Wallop + a Great Hammer of any Variety + Disciple of disputer + Improved Crit to have Colossal base damage, a x4 Crit multiplier, and an 8-20 threat range.

2583: Nor may my Warblade have both Raging Mongoose and Time Stands Still if he duel wields Scimitars that have the Vorporal and Speed property's and has Improved Crit and levels in Disciple of Disputer to threaten a crit on any attack roll that hits.

2584: Doing so when the DM has already ruled that Vorporal goes off on a Crit and not on a nat 20 is right out.

PurityIcekiller
2012-02-03, 03:27 PM
2585: The AC bonuses from dual-wielding buckler shields do not stack.
2586: I cannot have any character whom even I don't know the alignment of.
2587: Harvesting the kidneys of fellow PCs is not permitted, especially if they're still alive at the time.
2588: No character or creature may be in the party simply because they're cute.

mangosta71
2012-02-03, 03:34 PM
2589: No character of mine will ever be allowed to share a plane of existence with a Souldrinker, or any other weapon with a similar ability, again.

Bhu
2012-02-04, 06:08 PM
2590: I am no longer allowed to use quotes from the Blues Brothers movie. Most particularly I am not allowed to use "Your women. I want to buy your women. The little girl, your daughters... sell them to me. Sell me your children! "

urnewemperor
2012-02-04, 07:11 PM
2591. I may not suggest that the password is *magic missile* to cast the spell instead of doing some arcane chanting

Wookieetank
2012-02-06, 09:16 AM
2592. Casting explosive runes upon a plot relevant item/scroll/etc that must be read, is right out.
2592a. Using explosive runes in a LotR campaign is right out, despite the hilairty it would cause.

Karoht
2012-02-06, 12:46 PM
2593: I may not under any circumstances, start a campaign on the elemental plane of fire, no matter what I give the party to make them immune to fire damage.

Dark Elf Bard
2012-02-08, 11:43 AM
2594. "Fireball" is not romantic.

Wookieetank
2012-02-08, 02:30 PM
2594a. Nor is it a suitable replacement to diplomacy.
2594b. It is also not the universal greeting method.
2594c. When in doubt the solution/answer is not more Fireballs.

MesiDoomstalker
2012-02-08, 02:50 PM
2594d: Fire, in ball form or otherwise, is not the first response. Ever.

Ninjaman
2012-02-08, 03:13 PM
2594e: Not even if i am a half dragon-ogre and it would be in character.

PurityIcekiller
2012-02-08, 03:22 PM
2595: I may not have the other players name all of their characters "Spartacus".
2596: My character cannot have more than one power related to breaking reality.
2597: I cannot play any character race, class, or combination that I can pun about.
2598: Using big, flashy abilities to accomplish relatively simple tasks just because it's cooler is not approved of.

Xerinous
2012-02-08, 04:26 PM
2599: When asked what I have to say, "I sing a merry tune" is not an acceptable answer.
2599a: Especially at a funeral.
2599b: Doubly so if I'm not a bard.
2599c: Triply so if I'm the cleric laying the person to rest.

2600: Even if I am, in fact, trapped in a box, singing Man in the Box will get something heavy thrown at me.

Wookieetank
2012-02-09, 11:01 AM
2601. I'm not allowed to sing "I'm on a boat"
2601a. Particularly in a navel setting.
2601b. Even if I'm a bard and have ranks in perform(pop tunes).

MesiDoomstalker
2012-02-09, 02:20 PM
2602a: Having Perform (British Humour) is not an excuss to exccessivly quote Monty Python.

2602b: Niether is being British.

2602c: Or speaking in a British accent.

2602d: No Monty Python references, ever, on fear of heavy objects flying towards me.

The_Admiral
2012-02-10, 01:23 AM
2602e: "Ah now I see the violence inherent in the" *THUNK!*

Choco
2012-02-11, 11:57 PM
2603: If my character has the ability to teleport at will, I am not allowed to go years (in real life and game time) before I first use that power.
2603a: Especially if the DM forgot about that power and it ruined what was supposed to be an unwinable encounter.
2603b: "I was saving it for when I really needed it" is not a legitimate excuse for an at-will ability.

PurityIcekiller
2012-02-12, 12:40 AM
2604: Even with a lousy Charisma score, I cannot make enemies take damage just from looking at me.
2605: Optimally, my half-orc character shouldn't have a higher Intelligence score than the rest of the party.
2606: My character's name cannot be a pun on my own in any way.
2607: I'm not permitted to put all my points into the Use Rope skill.

Kelvin360
2012-02-12, 12:55 AM
2597: I cannot play any character race, class, or combination that I can pun about.

2597b: This effectively means I cannot play anything but a human commoner ever again.

2608: My human commoner cannot be named Dave.
2609: My human commoner cannot be more powerful than the rest of the party combined.
2610: Not even in a low-magic setting.

Cieyrin
2012-02-12, 09:52 AM
2605: Optimally, my half-orc character shouldn't have a higher Intelligence score than the rest of the party.

2605b. Neither can the Thri-Kreen as the party melee beast.

2611. I can't force the party leader to be named Jim so my cleric can quote Dr. McCoy.
2612. I may not name my gun Diplomacy and offer to try it if the rest of the party is ignorant of the first fact.
2613. I can't use any character ideas based off of my cat.

Hiro Protagonest
2012-02-12, 03:55 PM
2614. I'm not allowed to name a character Marty Stu.
2614a. Not even in a troll-heavy campaign.

Wookieetank
2012-02-13, 10:28 AM
2611. I can't force the party leader to be named Jim so my cleric can quote Dr. McCoy.

2611a. Forcing the party leader to be named James is also frowned upon.

2615. Playing a female half Orc bard and singing "My Milkshake" is not allowed and every book within arms reach will be thrown at me.

PurityIcekiller
2012-02-13, 02:29 PM
2616: I cannot use bardic music abilities with Perform (Act) or Perform (Dance), regardless of what the rules say.
2617: I may not buy a longship just because I have a lot of gold to spend and I feel like it.
2618: Underage humans do not automatically know Halfling.
2619: Every ability score must have someone in the party not using it for a dump stat.
2620: Using siege equipment in melee is not permitted.

Hiro Protagonest
2012-02-13, 10:17 PM
Would you be mad if I copy-pasted all of this (http://wiki.rpg.net/index.php/Forgotten_Freedom:Rules)? :smalltongue:

Nah, it would take too long to re-number all of them.

Someone needs to post that "all the" meme.

Choco
2012-02-14, 07:19 PM
2614. I'm not allowed to name a character Marty Stu.
2614a. Not even in a troll-heavy campaign.

Thanks, my monitor needed to be cleaned anyway.

2621: When someone at the table complains about how immature I am, I am not allowed to view that as a challenge to show said person what true immaturity is.

2622: When someone at the table is offended by anything that happens, my fault or otherwise, the proper response is not to say "well put on your big girl panties and deal with it."
2622a: Even if the entire rest of the group agrees with me.

2623: My character is not allowed to challenge anyone to a douche-off (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fad6eZTDikA&ob=av3e).

RagingKrikkit
2012-02-14, 08:55 PM
2624: I am not allowed to take the McGuffin under any circumstances, ever. It, uh, it, just like disintegrated as soon as you touched it.

Xerinous
2012-02-14, 10:00 PM
2625: Random word generators are not good sources of adjectives to base a character on.

2626: A single fighter NPC should not be able to take on four PC's and expect to survive and/or slaughter them all.

2627: Cursed items should not be the object of retrieval missions if I know my players will likely run off with unknown magic items.
2627a: Especially if one is a dagger that will kill both the one stabbed and the one wielding it.

PurityIcekiller
2012-02-14, 10:13 PM
2628: No laser I possess may be larger than I am.
2629: Invisibility and teleportation spells are to be cast on fellow adventurers, not fellow adventurers' clothes.
2630: "Surrounded By Idiots" is not a character flaw, or at least isn't for the character with it.
2631: The point of multiclassing is not to see how many different classes you can play at one time.