LGBTitp - Part Five

[Jacklu]

Welcome, one and all.

This is a thread where we Playgrounders, and LGBTitp in particular, gather to discuss, share our experiences, give general advice and support one another in such matters as arise relating to, well, the world beyond heteronormaitivity.

Everyone is welcome. Let's try to keep from seeming otherwise.
Keep this topic free of politics and religion. (so, don't violate the board rules, plz)
It's beyond the scope of this thread to discuss whether LGBT is "Right." (And really, most discussions probably should avoid moralizing too much anyway)
Please refrain from posting sexually explicit content. (Keep it friendly as well as board safe :smallsmile:)

If you would rather be anonymous when asking for advice or sharing your story or views, you can use the address below to send a message to be posted in this thread via proxy.

http://anonmail.smeenet.org/

Keep in mind that content which contain strong language may be filtered (Plus, y'know, the forum-filters), and content that violates the forum rules won't be posted at all.

Here are the links for the last few threads, where much of use or interest may be found:
LGBT people in the playground (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=62225)

LGBT people in the playground - part II (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=86066)

LGBTitp - part III (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?p=5663140#post5663140)

LGBTitp 4: We are a family? (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=129235)

*modified from the original.

[golentan]

Ah, that new thread sm... That's not the new thread smell. What is that?


Anyway, Mori, I'm sorry you're having it rough. If you want, my PM box is always open.

[Stormthorn]

In recent news i met another girl who turned out to be bisexual, thus keeping with the trend. Im wondering if its some pheramone thing that draws me to them without me consciously knowing.

[Jacklu]

Re-quoted from last thread:



Shush, I'm not supposed to talk about that on the forums.
Also, I'm an enginerd. We're hopelessly single. :smalltongue:

@v: I'm an untrusting, intense, overly energetic, bisexual XX-chromosomed engineering nerd with emotional baggage and sub-average looks. Not getting my hopes up. :smallyuk:
Jacklu finds engineering girls rather attractive, actually. Big brains are sexy. :smalltongue: :smallwink: And pictures of blackfox I have seen so far have indicated a rather cute girl. Added points for liking D&D and bisexual to boot so I wouldn't have to worry about which gender I felt like being at the moment. Seems like a rather good deal being the lucky one to woo her.

In case blackfox missed the blatantly flirtatious compliments. =P

[golentan]

Re-quoted from last thread:

In case blackfox missed the blatantly flirtatious compliments. =P

I'd say that was slightly creepy, but we all know how quickly I'd jump kneebiter, so...

Yeah...

Umm... Internet crushes!!!

[Stormthorn]

I'd say that was slightly creepy, but we all know how quickly I'd jump kneebiter, so...

Yeah...

Umm... Internet crushes!!!

Whoo!

I apologize for mostly only ever having other-sex crushes. But someone gave a cheer that was insanly relevant to my life right now so i had to post something.

Is their a Complex-Internet-Relationship Thread?

[golentan]

Whoo!

I apologize for mostly only ever having other-sex crushes. But someone gave a cheer that was insanly relevant to my life right now so i had to post something.

Is their a Complex-Internet-Relationship Thread?

You're looking for the Relationship Woes and Advice Thread, right down the hall on your left.

[Lix Lorn]

Shiny new thread is shiny... (mesmerised)

[Deth Muncher]

A new thread? This requires some sort of party. But let's not turn this into Random Banter, lest we be smacked by the mighty ban-hammer.

So, in my town, there's a gay bar. Said gay bar is often frequented by both gay and straight people alike, as it happens to be a generally nifty place. I've never been, but I have plenty of friends who do, and I figure it might be a fun time to accompany them. I, however, have my reservations, as, well, I'm fairly oblivious to when people flirt with me, and also straight. Hence why there could be an issue, as some guy could be flirting with me and I'd just think it was normal conversation, which might result in a bit of an awkward situation.

How should I handle that, should that happen? Improv and other on-your-toes was always my weak point in acting, and I'm afraid of making an ass of myself should something like that happen.

Also, never having been to a gay bar, I figure I'll ask the question: What exactly goes ON at one of these places? I hear about excessive dancing, which sounds awesome, but I never hear any specifics about music (other than the stereotype being techno, which I'm down with).

[golentan]

A new thread? This requires some sort of party. But let's not turn this into Random Banter, lest we be smacked by the mighty ban-hammer.

So, in my town, there's a gay bar. Said gay bar is often frequented by both gay and straight people alike, as it happens to be a generally nifty place. I've never been, but I have plenty of friends who do, and I figure it might be a fun time to accompany them. I, however, have my reservations, as, well, I'm fairly oblivious to when people flirt with me, and also straight. Hence why there could be an issue, as some guy could be flirting with me and I'd just think it was normal conversation, which might result in a bit of an awkward situation.

How should I handle that, should that happen? Improv and other on-your-toes was always my weak point in acting, and I'm afraid of making an ass of myself should something like that happen.

Also, never having been to a gay bar, I figure I'll ask the question: What exactly goes ON at one of these places? I hear about excessive dancing, which sounds awesome, but I never hear any specifics about music (other than the stereotype being techno, which I'm down with).

Don't worry about it. If it gets blatant (if you're aware of it), just drop that you're not interested, but flattered. Esp. if it's normally frequented by some straight fellows it shouldn't be a problem. Or show up with a friend willing to pretend to be your date, but that rapidly descends into madness. The genre savvy know it never ends well.

And dancing is awesome. I recommend dancing to feed a good romance any day over poetry.

[Derjuin]

Whee, new subscription :smallbiggrin:

I finally got to talk to a counselor in-depth about my feelings...only problem was, it was over the phone, because his office-thing is an hour and a half away in Rehoboth, and my car's brakes are acting up. Plus it's snowing again. :smallyuk:

Fortunately, this means I got some positive reinforcement for how I feel about myself, and unfortunately it means I had to miss the trans/crossdress party 2 days later at the same locale :smallsigh: I would LOVE to have gone to it... Darn the eastern shore of maryland for not having any closer groups (that I know of)!

[Jacklu]

I'd say that was slightly creepy, but we all know how quickly I'd jump kneebiter, so...

Yeah...

Umm... Internet crushes!!!

But... But... I only know how to do slightly creepy when it comes to flirting. :smallfrown: T_T

[TheCountAlucard]

Soooo... Internet Crushes!

Yeah, dunno how much I can say about LGBT, though; I have an Internet Crush on this bisexual chick, but that's about it. :smallfrown:

Though when I first came to the Playground, I mistakenly thought LGBT stood for some kind of sandwich. :smallredface:

[golentan]

Soooo... Internet Crushes!

Yeah, dunno how much I can say about LGBT, though; I have an Internet Crush on this bisexual chick, but that's about it. :smallfrown:

Though when I first came to the Playground, I mistakenly thought LGBT stood for some kind of sandwich. :smallredface:

Well, maybe it could, but not a board safe one.:smallwink:

Actually, a local restaurant does sell LGBTs (Lettuce, Bacon, Guacamole, and Tomato), which are good, and claims that they give 10 cents for each one to LGBT causes.

Activist restaurants are fun.

[Deth Muncher]

Actually, a local restaurant does sell LGBTs (Lettuce, Bacon, Guacamole, and Tomato), which are good, and claims that they give 10 cents for each one to LGBT causes.

Activist restaurants are fun.

That sounds like the best sandwich ever. Just be sure to make sure you know what kind of sandwich you're getting - you don't want to be surprised and have to yell "IT'S A WRAP!"
Sorry, that's the best sandwich/trap (in the sense of a man dressed as a woman) joke I could make. I'll just head on out now...

[Kneenibble]

Gay bars are not entirely different from other bars: there is drinking, dancing, and drama. The DJ is more likely to play house techno or hip-hop with very little pop, but that varies per the bar. More people dance, and better, than run-of-the-mill crowd bars, it's true: but there is also a higher quotient of people doing drugs. People can be as annoyingly drunk, as overly uh, amiable, as cold or bitchy, or as nice and friendly as in any of the others.

However, you may also experience any number of these important unique elements.
1) Drag queens.
2) A drag show, which may or may not be drag queens lip-synching pop while acting as much like strippers as possible without giving away their "secrets."
3) Male strippers who single you out and present a firm, waxed bum in your face.
4) Being hit on by creepers over 40, or 50, even if you're under 20 (well in Canadian bars, anyways).
5) Gay community cliques eager to exclude.
6) Women who will dance with you for half an hour and then ask smokily in your ear if you are lesbian.
7) A dance floor that is different from a gay orgy by only very fine degrees.
8) A significantly lower rate of mendacity about looking for one-night-stands.

All of these are first-hand experiences. It's a weird whacky world.

[Pyrian]

However, you may also experience any number of these important unique elements.
...
4) Being hit on by creepers over 40, or 50, even if you're under 20 (well in Canadian bars, anyways).I assure you, that's not unique to gay bars.


6) Women who will dance with you for half an hour and then ask smokily in your ear if you are lesbian.:smallbiggrin:

[Umael]

This post is to be considered a post in support of all those who want to support those who are LGBT but are not LGBT themselves, as well as supporting those who are LGBT but are not LGBT themselves.

Cookie for you if that didn't confuse you.

[Pyrian]

...those who are LGBT but are not LGBT......Wha'? :smallconfused:

[Lyesmith]

Oh! I totally get a cookie.

Also, Gay Bars sound like a pretty freakin' scary place.

[Lix Lorn]

YAY FOR COOKIES
(noms)

[Lioness]

Half a cookie...'coz I'm really not so sure.

I think it was just he awesome bubblyness of the girl in question. I'm back on guys.

[Serpentine]

I wanna take you to a gay bar... lets go with... Lix Lorn, you seem nice :smallwink: (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HTN6Du3MCgI)

edit: Awesome. (http://news.ninemsn.com.au/entertainment/1018001/firies-ses-to-join-in-mardi-gras-parade) Someday I'll see the Mardi Gras...

[Rauthiss]

Serpentine... I... I love you.

[Jacklu]

Facial hair sucks. :smallfrown: That is all.

[Lix Lorn]

Huhwhatme? :smallredface:

[Anuan]

I wanna take you to a gay bar... lets go with... Lix Lorn, you seem nice :smallwink: (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HTN6Du3MCgI)

edit: Awesome. (http://news.ninemsn.com.au/entertainment/1018001/firies-ses-to-join-in-mardi-gras-parade) Someday I'll see the Mardi Gras...

My ex-girlfriend and her girlfriend were at it today ^_^ I don't know if they got to go on the Float they were talking about, but they were a mime and a clown, respectively. So cute.

[Serpentine]

It was on today?! GODDAMIT, EVERY FRICKING YEAR. The last time I watched it was, I kid you not, in grade 6. I was fricking 11. I think it was the year with the awesome Pauline Hanson float.
goddammit

Hrm. Looking at the TV Guide... Are they not showing it on TV anymore?

[Anuan]

Not a clue, I've no channels. The parade was today, though. Apparently it was amazing.

[Serpentine]

Godfrickingdammit :smallfurious: And I don't think it is being shown on TV anymore, which sucks. In fact, I don't think I've heard about it anywhere, except an article linked to a dodgy NineMSN poll about whether emergency services should be in the parade.
Y'know, I'm surprised at how little attention this thing gets in this thread... I mean, it's a 2-week long festival of queer culture (http://www.mardigras.org.au/mardi-gras-2010/festival/index.cfm).

edit: Holy crap, homosexuality was a crime in New South Wales right up until 1984?! :eek:

edit mk. 2: It's only played on payTV :smallannoyed:

[Jacklu]

:smallfrown: Aww, that sucks, Serp.

In other news... :smallredface::smallredface::smallredface:

Watching Curling (best winter sport evah) and noticed that Niklas Edin, from Sweden's curling team, is rather cute. =3
http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_5--ca8rX4ks/S0O-ip6yveI/AAAAAAAANMA/IJTO4w-yngU/s400/Niklas-Edin-3.jpg

[Lyesmith]

:smallfrown: Aww, that sucks, Serp.

In other news... :smallredface::smallredface::smallredface:

Watching Curling (best winter sport evah) and noticed that Niklas Edin, from Sweden's curling team, is rather cute. =3
http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_5--ca8rX4ks/S0O-ip6yveI/AAAAAAAANMA/IJTO4w-yngU/s400/Niklas-Edin-3.jpg


I'mma have to agree on Edin. I was watching the England vs Sweden match (well, it was on in the background) and decided to google him. He is, indeed, pretty cute. I'd have watched more curling, but then my fostermother put on ice-dancing.:smallyuk:

[cycoris]

Watching Curling (best winter sport evah) and noticed that Niklas Edin, from Sweden's curling team, is rather cute. =3


Hmm, yes, so he is. :smallredface:

And I usually despise blondes with every ounce of my being. :smallconfused:

[Faulty]

Godfrickingdammit :smallfurious: And I don't think it is being shown on TV anymore, which sucks. In fact, I don't think I've heard about it anywhere, except an article linked to a dodgy NineMSN poll about whether emergency services should be in the parade.
Y'know, I'm surprised at how little attention this thing gets in this thread... I mean, it's a 2-week long festival of queer culture (http://www.mardigras.org.au/mardi-gras-2010/festival/index.cfm).

edit: Holy crap, homosexuality was a crime in New South Wales right up until 1984?! :eek:

edit mk. 2: It's only played on payTV :smallannoyed:

Sodomy is still a crime in over 10 US states I believe. I think the enforcement of it may be blocked by federal laws, but it's on the books.

[Derjuin]

:smallfrown: Aww, that sucks, Serp.

In other news... :smallredface::smallredface::smallredface:

Watching Curling (best winter sport evah) and noticed that Niklas Edin, from Sweden's curling team, is rather cute. =3

I would have to agree with that =D

[Ishmael]

Yeah, it's technically still illegal in California. But Lawrence v. Texas (2003) ruled that, under the 14th Amendment, intimate consensual sex was a protected right. It follows in the legal heritage of Griswold v. Connecticut (1965), which recognized a legal right to privacy.

[Serpentine]

The New Internationalist magazine has a "review" of different, normally "majority world" as they put it, countries which includes LGBT and women's rights, economic equality, government, education and so on. I would love to see them do some of the "minority world" ("1st world") countries.

[Jacklu]

I feel... .... I feel almost somewhat good about myself. I've had several people today compliment me on how good my hair looks. Which validates my decision to grow it out. .... I feel pretty. .-.

[Stormthorn]

edit: Holy crap, homosexuality was a crime in New South Wales right up until 1984?!

Heh heh. She said 1984.

[Faulty]

I feel... .... I feel almost somewhat good about myself. I've had several people today compliment me on how good my hair looks. Which validates my decision to grow it out. .... I feel pretty. .-.

Congratulations! :smallsmile:

[Rauthiss]

So, am I the only guy who hates body hair on men?

[golentan]

So, am I the only guy who hates body hair on men?

No.

I like facial hair (in moderation) but not body hair.

[blackfox]

So, am I the only guy who hates body hair on men?Nope. In excess, anyways. :smallsigh:

[Serpentine]

I kinda like a bit of chest hair <.< Not talkin' Austin Powers here, but a bit.
My Boy's like a faun - a mat of hair on his legs, and almost nothing from the waist-up.

[Anuan]

edit: Holy crap, homosexuality was a crime in New South Wales right up until 1984?! :eek:

edit mk. 2: It's only played on payTV :smallannoyed:

Australia. We attempt to make up for our horrid slowness with social-laws by having a really cool science department. And awesome nature.

[Jacklu]

Facial hair... I like it on guys if it is well groomed and only in small amounts. No big beards. Body hair... blech. When it comes to myself... I hate my facial hair. T_T It's always growing back. And shaving is a crazy, insane activity.

EDIT: On girls, chest hair is a real deal breaker. =P

[llamamushroom]

Facial hair can work, but in my opinion not as often as those who have it think. Other body hair? I think completely hairless looks... weird. So some (i.e. more than I have), but not much.

And yeah, Australia ain't the quickest on the uptake when it comes to social rights. And we do have a cool science department - CSIRO invented wifi.

[MickJay]

So, am I the only guy who hates body hair on men?

Can't say I *hate* it, but I find more than a little unappealing. A lot of it, and it becomes repulsive.

[Lyesmith]

Can't say I *hate* it, but I find more than a little unappealing. A lot of it, and it becomes repulsive.

A little chest-fuzz is fine, but too mich is ech. Facial hair is pretty nice, as long as it's short (beards are a no also).

Goodness, there's quite some conformity over this, isn't there?

[Dallas-Dakota]

Hmm, yes, so he is. :smallredface:

And I usually despise blondes with every ounce of my being. :smallconfused:
I certainly hope you don't despise me.:smalltongue:

[Lix Lorn]

^_^
Feeling good is good~

I don't much like facial or body hair. :/
Not that fond of blonde either. But i can let it off. ^_^

[Lioness]

Man, I'm blonde too.

But yeah, I'm a fan of smooth and not overly muscly chests. Don't mind hair on legs or arms. A small amount of stubble is good, on guys that can pull it off.

[Anuan]

...So growing my goatee was what stopped gay guys hitting on me after so many years? I grew big enough that straight guys stopped (don't ask.) but gay guys continued to hit on me for years. ...Is it really the goatee that did it? O.o

[Ziren]

So, am I the only guy who hates body hair on men?

I hate pretty much body hair in general, regardless of gender. I especially hate it on my own body, but I have neither the money for a lasting hair removal nor for the number of razor blades I had to go through to keep it from showing. Also, the second option would be VERY time-consuming :smallfrown:

[Lyesmith]

...So growing my goatee was what stopped gay guys hitting on me after so many years? I grew big enough that straight guys stopped (don't ask.) but gay guys continued to hit on me for years. ...Is it really the goatee that did it? O.o

Maybe not, I've got a bit of a thing for it - Edin (see top of page) got way bonus points for the jawline. I think people just mostly object to BUSHY BRIAN BLESSED BEARDS (All Caps'd for Blessed).

[Ashen Lilies]

Indeed. While certain types of facial hair can only be pulled off by some people, the whole 'I have not seen a razor for several years' look really matches only a select few people. Being a huge ham like BRIAN BLESSED helps. Of course, my preffered facial hair is... well, I don't know what it's called. But worn correctly, it increases your Dashing by a factor of about eleventh billion. Proof:
http://images.fandango.com/images/commentator/johnnydepp1.jpg
Of course, I'm pretty sure using Johnny Depp as an example counts as cheating.
Noooow....
...
>.>
<.<
*fades back into lurkitude*

[Kneenibble]

This topic reminds me of this guy I heard talking at a party when I was younger. He must have been 30, maybe older, complaining to a bunch of guys no older than 20, 21 about a guy he took home who had such a nice waxed chest and tummy but he had the audacity not to do his legs too, they were hairy all the way down! How rude of him, huh? I found out who he was talking about, a guy the same age as me (I was 18 or 19 at the time). Ugh, the scorn approaching disgust in his voice.

For me, it all depends on the person -- but I almost never see people my age whose body hair is too much for me (who are also otherwise dateable, that is). Beards can be awesome without being sexy, or both, but there are some people whose facial hair is neither. I think I'm one of those people right now, I'm growing a huge disgusting beard right now to see if it makes me any louder. :smallwink: Also to attract birds.

[golentan]

This topic reminds me of this guy I heard talking at a party when I was younger. He must have been 30, maybe older, complaining to a bunch of guys no older than 20, 21 about a guy he took home who had such a nice waxed chest and tummy but he had the audacity not to do his legs too, they were hairy all the way down! How rude of him, huh? I found out who he was talking about, a guy the same age as me (I was 18 or 19 at the time). Ugh, the scorn approaching disgust in his voice.

For me, it all depends on the person -- but I almost never see people my age whose body hair is too much for me (who are also otherwise dateable, that is). Beards can be awesome without being sexy, or both, but there are some people whose facial hair is neither. I think I'm one of those people right now, I'm growing a huge disgusting beard right now to see if it makes me any louder. :smallwink: Also to attract birds.

That's disgusting. That sort of sense of "Me, me, me..." makes me sick. People aren't sex toys.

And the age thing is weird. I can't imagine having enough in common with someone missing that much a fraction of my life to really connect.

It's sort of like my one friend, who was complaining about her girlfriend, and why they were having trouble relating and the girlfriend kept distancing herself.

"She's almost exactly HALF YOUR AGE!!! When you were her age she was an infant. When your son was born she was 6. You had graduated from college while she was in elementary school, that's why you have trouble connecting. You're having trouble connecting because you have almost no cultural markers in common, and she's distancing herself because she's savvy enough to realize this."

Sorry, ranting...

[Lix Lorn]

I don't know, you can get on with people older than you. I get on better with most of my parents friends than with the people my age.
(i have young parents but still)

[Faulty]

So, am I the only guy who hates body hair on men?

Body hair grosses me out. Having and seeing other people have it. Sometimes facial hair can be attractive in an "ooo that guy's handsome" way, but never in an "ooo I want to sleep with that guy" way. Hair anywhere else but the junk region (on girls and guys; I just find it attractively natural) is just an instant turn off. I'm only attracted to guys you can mistake for girls at a casual glance. :smalltongue: On myself, yuck. I felt so good when I shaved my legs I spent like two days just running my hands along them. XD Also every time I touch my face and feel facial hair it's like URGH. :smallyuk:

[Ziren]

A small correction for my previous post: I actually like some body hair. I don't know whether there are different words for those, but there's the... "scratchy" (can't think of a better term) like armpit hair, chest hair etc. and the soft, short and most of all barely visible kind like I have on my back and in the belly area.

You can probably guess from my description that I despise the former and like the later.

[golentan]

I don't know, you can get on with people older than you. I get on better with most of my parents friends than with the people my age.
(i have young parents but still)

Friendship? Or romance? There is a difference, I have friends as young as 5 (who have declared me the best relative ever) and as old as 82.

Which is different from romantic attachment, where both partners need to be at roughly the same emotional stage to collaborate for a successful relationship. And where I'm a hypocrite because I could date your great-grandmother and still be cradle-robbing.

[Lix Lorn]

A romantic friendship can grow out of a friendship-it's not the same thing as sudden love, but it is love.

[Kneenibble]

Body hair grosses me out. Having and seeing other people have it. Sometimes facial hair can be attractive in an "ooo that guy's handsome" way, but never in an "ooo I want to sleep with that guy" way. Hair anywhere else but the junk region (on girls and guys; I just find it attractively natural) is just an instant turn off. I'm only attracted to guys you can mistake for girls at a casual glance. :smalltongue: On myself, yuck. I felt so good when I shaved my legs I spent like two days just running my hands along them. XD Also every time I touch my face and feel facial hair it's like URGH. :smallyuk:

Yes, that's a very groovy attitude while you're a young university student, but if you feel the shadow of say 30 approaching and your tastes haven't changed, I have a Christmas card could you please give to Chris Hansen for me when you meet him.


A romantic friendship can grow out of a friendship-it's not the same thing as sudden love, but it is love.

What you say doesn't really address golentan's point... which I quite agree with. Relationships with an emotional maturity skew due to age are not healthy. Sexual relationships of that sort are particularly damaging. They're too much about power and validating insecurities than solid stuff.

[Lix Lorn]

Yes, but age doesn't always equal maturity. You can have younger, more mature people and older, less mature people.

[Faulty]

Yes, that's a very groovy attitude while you're a young university student, but if you feel the shadow of say 30 approaching and your tastes haven't changed, I have a Christmas card could you please give to Chris Hansen for me when you meet him.

That was uncalled for. >_> I like femmey guys and own a dress, I think it's consistent.

[Kneenibble]

Yes you sure can, my dear, but such generalities you are speaking in are not useful. The latter are likely the overgrown Peter Pan types trolling for chicken, and the former are likely the types who know better than to get involved with somebody too much older.

Skewed relationships happen, sure, and very occasionally they work, but they're ****ed up and unhealthy a lot more often than they're wonderful.

[Lix Lorn]

Oh, i'm not saying they always work, and you're right in that they're less commonly good. But i just mean they CAN happen.

And also, on Faulty's behalf, there's one very simple way he can get that to work-find someone who agrees with him. XD

[Faulty]

Yes you sure can, my dear, but such generalities you are speaking in are not useful. The latter are likely the overgrown Peter Pan types trolling for chicken, and the former are likely the types who know better than to get involved with somebody too much older.

Skewed relationships happen, sure, and very occasionally they work, but they're ****ed up and unhealthy a lot more often than they're wonderful.

I'd have to see you're speaking in generalities yourself here. Pardon me for being attracted to what I'm attracted to and wishing to look how I want to look.

[Kneenibble]

Hey chillax, sweetie, I was replying to Lixie Lorn there.

[Lyesmith]

Well, I've had an odd day. We found my freind's mother's "sextrology" book. It's almost exactly what is sounds like - relationship & sex advice, based on star signs.

Under the gay Aries ones, it had "straight guys" listed as a turn on. Sad but true in it's accuracy.

Also, an interesting video (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S4CHuxKMCIM) for those of my persuasion.

[Lorolar]

Thats suprisingly amusing, he manages to mock both gays and straights whilst also saying each is better than the other. This was wonderful.

Tempted to type up my favourites from that but I'm unsure on the level of cencorship here :smalltongue:

I love his sign off message, its nice to see a gay who can make fun of himself.

[Rauthiss]

I'm going to have to agree with Faulty here, Kneenibble. The pedophilia implification was uncalled for. :/

[golentan]

I'm going to have to agree with Faulty here, Kneenibble. The pedophilia implification was uncalled for. :/

Have to agree. "Thin, little body hair, and effeminate" in men does not always mean childlike, and liking that look doesn't imply pedophilia. As my love for my late 20s middle aged ex marine friend proves. He's very pretty...

WHY WON'T YOU LOVE ME!!! ;)

[Serpentine]

I don't know, you can get on with people older than you. I get on better with most of my parents friends than with the people my age.
(i have young parents but still)Sure, but would you date them?

Faulty and I might be in competition <.< And the "pedophile implication" could nearly apply to me - I tend to find 'em most attractive when barely legal, so to speak :smallsigh: (accidentally!) I think I'm gonna be a cougar when I grow up...

[Pyrian]

We found my freind's mother's "sextrology" book. It's almost exactly what is sounds like - relationship & sex advice, based on star signs.

Under the gay Aries ones, it had "straight guys" listed as a turn on. Sad but true in it's accuracy.I think OKCupid's data on the subject should help put that silly mythology to rest.

http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/page/5/

[Faulty]

Hey chillax, sweetie, I was replying to Lixie Lorn there.

Ah. Quoting might have helped there. :smallwink:


Faulty and I might be in competition <.< And the "pedophile implication" could nearly apply to me - I tend to find 'em most attractive when barely legal, so to speak :smallsigh: (accidentally!) I think I'm gonna be a cougar when I grow up...

We're not in competition. We just share a mutual interest. :smallredface:

[Coidzor]

Sexual relationships of that sort are particularly damaging. They're too much about power and validating insecurities than solid stuff.

...There are sexual relationships that aren't all about power and validating insecurities!? :smalleek:

[RabbitHoleLost]

Coidzor, sometimes I'm really scared of you.

ANYWAYS, weighing in on the age thing.
I, as a mostly straight but sometimes straying girl, have found that my tastes changed as I grew up a little. I used to primarily like pretty boys, and this, invariably, came with liking younger boys. Much younger. Like, getting me in trouble with the law younger...thank goodness I never really pursued any of them.
Well, I sorta tried one in a nonsexual manner, but it never really progressedthankgoodnessnowIwon'tgetarrested.
Now, though, I tend to like more...masculine men? Men who look like men, anyways, with some stubble. Mmm, five o'clock shadows.
So, in a way, I agree with Kneen...though not about the pedo implications. I think its something most people grow out of as they mature.
Normally, I would say its more of a reproductionary impulse. As a woman grows older and further into baby-making age, they find men who are masculine more attractive.
However, I have no idea how that carries into homosexual tendencies.
I'unno.

[Phae Nymna]

This just struck me, and I really wish people could be "tagged" here like in facebook. I might just PM him, but has anyone heard from Collin152?

I really miss him. He had a perfect balance of wit, cynicism, and compassion.

Where are you?
:smallfrown:

[Coidzor]

Coidzor, sometimes I'm really scared of you.

Sadly, I do not have a perfect balance of wit, cynicism, and compassion. :smallfrown:

[Faulty]

Sadly, I do not have a perfect balance of wit, cynicism, and compassion. :smallfrown:

I dunno. Some Andrea Dworkin fans might agree with you, at least when it comes to heterosexual relationships. :smalltongue:

[Jacklu]

Hmmm... Interesting stuff. In other news, as soon as I worked up the nerve to ask out that cute androgynous girl that visits my coffee shop, she stopped coming. >.< Why must I have such particular tastes in what I find attractive?

[Coidzor]

^: Because you're asexual therefore there's a very narrow band of things you even find attractive, and an almost infintessimal part of the population that you'd ever even cuddle romantically with, much less want to pursue anything with? That was my understanding of things. I might be totally off base though, so I apologize if I've mischaracterized everything.


I dunno. Some Andrea Dworkin fans might agree with you, at least when it comes to heterosexual relationships. :smalltongue:

I'm pretty sure as a man I'm not allowed to have a perfect blend of wit, cynicism, and compassion within that world view.

[Faulty]

I'm pretty sure as a man I'm not allowed to have a perfect blend of wit, cynicism, and compassion within that world view.

Fixed that there for you.

[albis]

Normally, I would say its more of a reproductionary impulse. As a woman grows older and further into baby-making age, they find men who are masculine more attractive.
However, I have no idea how that carries into homosexual tendencies.
I'unno.

I never thought about it in that aspect... you might have a point there! XD
Personally, being 22 and bisexual I've always found my tastes in people who look exactly their gender... you know, girls with smooth features, full lips and averagely curvy physique; or males who look masculine enough without having too much muscle (I don't particularly like facial hair but I don't mind it either, it depends on the person)...
oh, and I don't like guys younger than me, they are generally idiots. I dated a guy 4 years younger than me some time ago.... BIG mistake. u_u

[MickJay]

Would it be inappropriate of me to ask if you happen to be highly masculine? From what I observed, the non-hyper-masculine male bisexuals are, in general, more attracted to androgynous qualities, while the really manly types prefer well defined features more.

Younger guys do tend to be unreliable, moody and enjoy mind games (or rather, mindf***ery) more than the others. I blame the fact that they know they're attractive to quite a few guys (they get lots of interest) and are aware of it.

[Serpentine]

*thinks about You thread*

*sniggers* :amused:


So a newcomer to these our boards' profile and a post says age 8, and signature says bisexual. Thoughts from people in the area? Dunno about anyone else, but I had no idea what I was in that regard 'til into high school, at least...

[Thufir]

This just struck me, and I really wish people could be "tagged" here like in facebook. I might just PM him, but has anyone heard from Collin152?

I really miss him. He had a perfect balance of wit, cynicism, and compassion.

Where are you?
:smallfrown:

Haven't seen him in ages. He's on facebook, I think.

On the attraction thing, I like guys who look rather androgynous or effeminate, and also guys who seem very manly. Just not so much anything in between. And generally a no on facial hair.
Girls... I'm not entirely sure what specific criteria I have, if any.

[Boo]

@Albis: Hey! I'm four years younger than you! Are you calling me an idiot? :smallmad: =P silly-ninja-smiley GO!

[Anuan]

*thinks about You thread*

*sniggers* :amused:


So a newcomer to these our boards' profile and a post says age 8, and signature says bisexual. Thoughts from people in the area? Dunno about anyone else, but I had no idea what I was in that regard 'til into high school, at least...

I would assume they'd be...bending the truth a little bit, as far as their age goes. I know a lot of bisexual people who have felt different since they were little, but having an understanding of 'bisexual' would be...odd at age eight.

[Serpentine]

Boo: You are an idiot. Seriously. You'll see.

Anuan: I suppose...

[Boo]

No I'm not! :smallmad:


=P silly-ninja-smiley GO!

[Serpentine]

I didn't see that, but I still figured you didn't mean it :smalltongue: Nonetheless... Idiot.

[Ziren]

I'm pretty sure that we all remain idiots or just turn into other kinds of idiots with increasing age :smalltongue:

About the sexual orientation thing, I'm not sure about mine and I'm 22. I know that I find some girls sexually attractive and in my whole life I've only met a single guy who I thought was sexually attractive - until he opened his mouth :smallannoyed:

I'm not sure whether this can actually be called bisexuality - but then again, I'm not thinking too much about such things.

[Serpentine]

Join the "Straight-But-Flexible" (or "Heteroflexible") Club! It's like the Tautology Club, except we're a lot less definite about things! :biggrin:
...except for sometimes.

[nepphi]

I'm ambisextrous!

...please don't hurt me ;-;

[Boo]

I'm pretty sure that we all remain idiots or just turn into other kinds of idiots with increasing age :smalltongue:

"We're all idiots here. I'm an idiot. you're an idiot. How do I know you're an idiot? Well you must be if you came here."

(And I fit into the "straight, but not narrow" field if only for now.)

[Totally Guy]

"We're all idiots here. I'm an idiot. you're an idiot. How do I know you're an idiot? Well you must be if you came here."

(And I fit into the "straight, but not narrow" field if only for now.)

I'm as straight as two short planks.

[Anuan]

I'm as straight as two short planks.

...Wait, what?

[blackfox]

Where are you?
:smallfrown:He's still around Bookface at least. I don't think he's been on the boards recently.

Fixed that there for you.Haha. Thank youuuu. :smalltongue:

[Totally Guy]

...Wait, what?

The phrase is "thick as 2 short planks" to mean someone is stupid.
And "straight as a board" meaning straight.

Probably doesn't carry well internationally.

[Anuan]

I know both of those sayings, it just...didn't click to me, I guess. Huh.

[albis]

@ Boo: I'd be calling you an idiot if we had ever been dating :smalltongue: plus, I didn't mean universally, I meant that the ones I had met so far were and that I have yet to meet someone to disprove that theory.... :smallbiggrin:


though I totally agree about the "we are all idiots" thing, the world wouldn't be as much fun if we were not. :smallbiggrin:

about my sexuality, I think I approached being bisexual when I was around 17, decided it felt right to me, and stayed that way ever since. :smallsmile:

[Faulty]

Haha. Thank youuuu. :smalltongue:

No problem. :smallredface:

[Forever Curious]

Hello all. Well, I've had a thought itching in my head for a while, and a recent event prompted me to seek others' opinions. Now, I don't want to start a flamewar, but...



So a newcomer to these our boards' profile and a post says age 8, and signature says bisexual. Thoughts from people in the area? Dunno about anyone else, but I had no idea what I was in that regard 'til into high school, at least...

Argh! Meta-ninja'd!

Anyway, that's the event. And the topic I wanted to bring up is prepubescent (sp?) sexual orientation. I personally don't think such a conclusion can be drawn concerning sexual preferences until puberty at least.

Any thoughts on the subject?

[Rauthiss]

I think it might be feelings mistaken as sexual feelings. At that point, excuse me for generalizing, most are still in the "ewww, boys!" stage. Is it surprising, especially in today's society, that these could be labeled as bisexualism? That said, the newcomer does seem to have a grasp of grammar, language, and syntax that most 8 year olds don't have, in my experience. Perhaps we could pull her into this thread and interrogate her? :smalltongue:

[Nameless Ghost]

I've been doing a lot of thinking lately. Aside from leaving me slightly more confused about several other topics than when I began, I would now say that I identify myself as asexual.

I'm not entirely sure how I feel about that realisation, it just seems like I now have a label I can wear that lets people assume things about me that may or may not be true and doesn't do a thing to really help me make any more sense of myself.

In the end I'd much rather just be myself and not really care if I'm classed as asexual, bisexual, "straight but just wants a very close friendship" or whatever else.

[Forever Curious]

I've been doing a lot of thinking lately. Aside from leaving me slightly more confused about several other topics than when I began, I would now say that I identify myself as asexual.

I'm not entirely sure how I feel about that realisation, it just seems like I now have a label I can wear that lets people assume things about me that may or may not be true and doesn't do a thing to really help me make any more sense of myself.

In the end I'd much rather just be myself and not really care if I'm classed as asexual, bisexual, "straight but just wants a very close friendship" or whatever else.

Story of my life, bro.

[MickJay]

Any chance the person in question is 18 and made a typo/misclick?

[Ziren]

Anyway, that's the event. And the topic I wanted to bring up is prepubescent (sp?) sexual orientation. I personally don't think such a conclusion can be drawn concerning sexual preferences until puberty at least.

Any thoughts on the subject?

On the BDSM-oriented forums I read, there's a lot of people (pretty much exclusively subs and switchers) claiming that they had an affinity for movement restriction and similar stuff long before puberty. Though I don't know anyone that made the claim that they saw it in a sexual context at that time...

[Lix Lorn]

had an affinity for movement restriction and similar stuff long before puberty. Though I don't know anyone that made the claim that they saw it in a sexual context at that time...
Yeah... I can confirm that. :smallredface:

[Forever Curious]

Yeah... I can confirm that. :smallredface:

:wink: Rawr.

[Lix Lorn]

(hides under duvet)

[Coidzor]

No, Lix Lorn. You are the duvet. (http://rds.yahoo.com/_ylt=A0oGkxA6C4xLar8ARoRXNyoA;_ylu=X3oDMTByZWgwN28 5BHNlYwNzcgRwb3MDMQRjb2xvA3NrMQR2dGlkAw--/SIG=1207cv3t1/EXP=1267555514/**http%3a//www.youtube.com/watch%3fv=RBQIx5jiTsg)

[Nameless]

I never thought about it in that aspect... you might have a point there! XD
Personally, being 22 and bisexual I've always found my tastes in people who look exactly their gender... you know, girls with smooth features, full lips and averagely curvy physique; or males who look masculine enough without having too much muscle (I don't particularly like facial hair but I don't mind it either, it depends on the person)...
oh, and I don't like guys younger than me, they are generally idiots. I dated a guy 4 years younger than me some time ago.... BIG mistake. u_u

HEY! I'm not a complete idiot... :smalltongue:

[Forever Curious]

No, Lix Lorn. You are the duvet.

*insert "if you know what I mean" here*

[albis]

HEY! I'm not a complete idiot... :smalltongue:

As I've said to another gentleman who raised the same point, I was just pointing out that the ones I've met so far were and that I had yet to meet someone to disprove that theory, I'm sorry for making too vague a choice of words :smallwink: ...

...plus, I thought you were older! LOL

[golentan]

Yeah... I can confirm that. :smallredface:

I can too. I really enjoyed wrapping myself in blankets tightly enough I couldn't really move.

Edit: And see my comment in the hello kitty thread on recreation for my current feelings on the subject.

[Lix Lorn]

I knew that was going to be the joke. XD
(Drapes over someone cold)
;P

[Faulty]

No, Lix Lorn. You are the duvet. (http://rds.yahoo.com/_ylt=A0oGkxA6C4xLar8ARoRXNyoA;_ylu=X3oDMTByZWgwN28 5BHNlYwNzcgRwb3MDMQRjb2xvA3NrMQR2dGlkAw--/SIG=1207cv3t1/EXP=1267555514/**http%3a//www.youtube.com/watch%3fv=RBQIx5jiTsg)

And then Lix was a bed.

[Nameless]

As I've said to another gentleman who raised the same point, I was just pointing out that the ones I've met so far were and that I had yet to meet someone to disprove that theory, I'm sorry for making too vague a choice of words :smallwink: ...

...plus, I thought you were older! LOL

*Can't wait to turn 18 in May so that he can go do dark raves*
*Is also a little scared because his friend want to take him to fetish clubs*

[Penny67]

Hi, im 9 years old and i just came out, but now everyone seems to avoid me, even my best friend wont pick up when i call her.
Anyone help?

[golentan]

Hi, im 9 years old and i just came out, but now everyone seems to avoid me, even my best friend wont pick up when i call her.
Anyone help?

Umm... probably because most people your age won't be interested in dealing with such things for another several years. I don't know if anyone here can help, because I'm pretty sure that... umm... None of us came out that early... and... yeah.

Feeling awkward with pre-teen people reading thread now... Someone please help?

[Penny67]

Everyone is welcome. Let's try to keep from seeming otherwise.


Doesn't this include me?

[Fostire]

Doesn't this include me?

I might be wrong, but I'm pretty sure that the forum (and OotS) is supposed to be PG-13

[Penny67]

I actually just read the forum rules, and nowhere does it say that.

[golentan]

Doesn't this include me?

That's not what I meant. I mean I literally have no words of wisdom for you, and you're the same age as my niece, who I can't even imagine having a sexuality for another 4 years or so. I have no idea how to respond, and I feel as awkward about you reading some of the things in here as I would if my niece heard me talking with her dad about his love life. You're welcome here, just... not sure how to respond. At all...

[Nameless]

Hi, im 9 years old and i just came out, but now everyone seems to avoid me, even my best friend wont pick up when i call her.
Anyone help?

*has never given anyone any advise on this kind of thing before*
*attempts anyway*

There’s nothing I hate more then when people say that you’re too young to decide that you’re a homosexual. Would you say it to someone who decides that they’re heterosexual?
However, when it comes to sexuality as a whole, whether you’re heterosexual, bisexual, homosexual, pansexual, asexual and everything in between, I do feel it is best to wait until you at least hit puberty before you make your decision, let it come naturally. I’m guessing your friends are around the same age as you, right? Most people that age aren’t really mature enough to understand heterosexuality, let alone homosexuality. It’s something that usually gets made fun of, which could be the reason why your friend is ignoring you. As far as most 9 year olds are concerned, homosexuality is weird.
Anyway, I can’t really tell you how to deal with your friend, but I don’t think you should come out just yet. In fact, I would say it even if you made your decision that you were a heterosexual. Let your hormones decide… and you know, develop.

[Fostire]

I actually just read the forum rules, and nowhere does it say that.

*re-reads forum rules* huh? I guess you're right, but I'm pretty sure it was like that before. Maybe they changed it.

[Penny67]

*has never given anyone any advise on this kind of thing before*
*attempts anyway*

There’s nothing I hate more then when people say that you’re too young to decide that you’re a homosexual. Would you say it to someone who decides that they’re heterosexual?
However, when it comes to sexuality as a whole, whether you’re heterosexual, bisexual, homosexual, pansexual, asexual and everything in between, I do feel it is best to wait until you at least hit puberty before you make your decision, let it come naturally. I’m guessing your friends are around the same age as you, right? Most people that age aren’t really mature enough to understand heterosexuality, let alone homosexuality. It’s something that usually gets made fun of, which could be the reason why your friend is ignoring you. As far as most 9 year olds are concerned, homosexuality is weird.
Anyway, I can’t really tell you how to deal with your friend, but I don’t think you should come out just yet. In fact, I would say it even if you made your decision that you were a heterosexual. Let your hormones decide… and you know, develop.

Thank you for helping, but i am extremely sure of what i feel/am. yes, my "friends" are around my age.

[cycoris]

I can too. I really enjoyed wrapping myself in blankets tightly enough I couldn't really move.

I used to climb inside my duvet covers and curl up. :smallredface::smallamused:

[Nameless]

I used to climb inside my duvet covers and curl up. :smallredface::smallamused:

OMGMETOO! :smallbiggrin: :smallbiggrin: :smallbiggrin:
I made a forts inside and everything.

@Penny: No problem, and good luck.

[Faulty]

Yeah, I'm not sure how someone who hasn't hit puberty, and thus hasn't reached sexual attraction, can be able to surely define their sexual orientation. Regardless, there's not much you can do Penny. It's good that you're being honest, and there are enough queer/queer friendly people out there that, assuming you continue to identify as bi, you should not have trouble finding support in time.


Feeling awkward with pre-teen people reading thread now... Someone please help?

Eh. Innocence ain't so innocent anymore, pal. :smalltongue:

[golentan]

Eh. Innocence ain't so innocent anymore, pal. :smalltongue:

That's not the point. The point is that nine year old sexuality makes me uncomfortable, is none of my business (I'm sure Penny's parents/school counselors can give better advice than I can), is vague (won't talk to me could mean anything from "you have cooties this week" to "weirded out and thinking how to deal with it" to "banned by family from talking to the demon child"), and potentially illegal for me to discuss in depth...

So yeah. Like I said, I don't know what to say, and am uncomfortable. With more details, I could give better advice. But before getting details I'd want to provide my standard "Internet Safety for Under 16" rundown, which wouldn't be a bad idea anyway.

[Lix Lorn]

Puberty can hit before nine.
All i can say is good luck.

Ooh, i'm a bed. I'm great for people to lie on. All soft and cushiony. ^_^

[Derjuin]

Speaking of beds, I need a new one...one that's soft and cushiony =3

To Penny: Good luck, and I hope you can remedy the situation with your friends :( I can't really offer too much advice for dealing with friend issues at your age, as...well, I'm not that young anymore, and times have changed :X

[Lix Lorn]

Knock yourself out. XD

[golentan]

What about me? Am I allowed to climb into bed and snuggle? :smallredface:

[Lix Lorn]

I repeat: Knock yourself out. ^///^

[golentan]

I repeat: Knock yourself out. ^///^

*Snuggles deep among the covers and wraps self tightly.*

Mmm... Pillowy. Thanks, Lix.

[The Rose Dragon]

Puberty can hit before nine.

The world's youngest pregnancy happened at the age of 5.

[Vaynor]

The world's youngest pregnancy happened at the age of 5.

I understand the whole "puberty happening early" thing, but jeez. I feel terrible for that poor girl. :smallfrown:

[Jacklu]

That.... Brings up all kinds of implications that I don't think are board appropriate. .-.

[Serpentine]

Speak of the devil.

The idea of my nephew having any real concept of sexuality disturbs me, and he's 11 (next year, I'll be up to dealing with the fact that he might be starting to experience the precursurs of such feelings).

See: previous anecdote of mine regarding the Mardi Gras and "I don't know what I am, really."


Sorry Penny, but sexuality is, fundamentally, founded on sex (specifically, who one would have sex with). The idea of a 9-year-old having anything to do with sex... Most of us, it seems just recoil from the idea. Even using the word "sex" to talk about this with you...
I feel dirty :(

[Derjuin]

Mmmh *snuggles into bed with covers 'n' a good book (or, more appropriately, my laptop and flash drive so that I may play my silly roguelike games)* :3

I got some supportive words from my counselor, too, though...I still have not been able to meet with him in person; 1.5 hour drive + crappy car = not always able to get up there. hehe. Good thing phones exist! :smallbiggrin:

[Penny67]

Well, im not really a stranger to sex. cameclose to having it, actually.

[Pyrian]

Penny67: I'm sorry people are avoiding you right when you must feel very vulnerable. As you can see from the responses here, we don't really expect your age group to have (nor need) a defined sexuality, and it's true that many people's tastes evolve for a good decade or so past your current age. I would guess that your declaration made a lot of the people in your life very uncomfortable, for multiple reasons. They may be worried that you are, or intend to soon be, sexually active at far too young an age.

I'm sure that most (or hopefully all) of them still care about you, though, and I'll bet if you go on with your life essentially as before, they'll accept you as you are soon enough. Good luck and I hope you tell us how it goes! :smallsmile:

EDIT: Well, ninja'd by yourself. So, yeah, nine is too young to be sexually active. Your parents (or legal guardian) could go to jail for allowing that to happen. Any partner (or their parents/guardians) would be similarly liable.

[Penny67]

They cant stop something from happening if they don't know about it... can they?:smalleek:

[Serpentine]

you're Nine Years Old! There Is No Way In Hell You Are In Any Way Physically Or Psychologically Ready For That! The Capitalisation In This Case Does Indicate Yelling!

edit: CAPITALISATION DOES NOT WORK THAT WAY APPARENTLY! So pretend it's all capitalised.

[Penny67]

i know, thats why i didnt do it with her...

[Blaine.Bush]

{Scrubbed}

[Penny67]

{Scrubbed}

what? thats not a player race

Edit: oh, i see what you mean. {Scrubbed} this is my life, and i do with it how i choose.

[bluewind95]

While I have no idea what to say about the whole being bisexual at 9...

About the being sexually active at 9... dear gods... please stop and think a little. You're typing like a mature enough person that you would know that things like that are not just "lolz letz have fun". The implications of such a thing would haunt you like some rotten shadow for the rest of your life. It's a grand way to destroy a very important part of who you are and who you can be. When you're 9, no matter how mature you are, you simply are not physiologically, or psychologically, or in any way ready for sex. Sex implicates a huge amount of life-long changes, both in mind and body, not to mention the possible consequences. Sex can be a wonderful thing... but only at the right time. At the wrong time (and a very young age IS a wrong time) it is as good as a rotten egg-and-rat brew with moldy cabbage and orange that stays with you for the rest of your life.

[Anuan]

{Scrubbed}

[Forever Curious]

Tralalala, I think I'll read up what amusing light-hearted antics my friends on the LGBT thread are engaging in today!


Well, im not really a stranger to sex. cameclose to having it, actually.

...well...um...yeah :smallannoyed:.

There are SO many things I could type right now, most all of which will hurt and offend the person who said the above quote. For now, I'll remain silent and let The Playground run it's course...

@Penny67, I am curious (thus is my name) as to why you chose this site from among the Blind Eternities of the internet to join. Like I said, simply curious.

Moved to PM! :biggrin:

[Phae Nymna]

I am not going to turn back the hands of time here to see what just happened, but two scrubbings are rather disheartening.

In other words, my school's GSA is soon hosting a BAKESALE!
I need suggestions on GSA//Queer/LGBTQIBBQTTYLIIRC themed baked goods we can make and sell.

ALSO we are a participating school this year for the first time in the National Day of Silence in April. We need plenty of tips and ideas to spread the word and garner a large number of silent supporters for that day.

Thanks in advance for anything!

Love you all,
"L"

[Forever Curious]

I am not going to turn back the hands of time here to see what just happened, but two scrubbings are rather disheartening.

In other words, my school's GSA is soon hosting a BAKESALE!
I need suggestions on GSA//Queer/LGBTQIBBQTTYLIIRC themed baked goods we can make and sell.

ALSO we are a participating school this year for the first time in the National Day of Silence in April. We need plenty of tips and ideas to spread the word and garner a large number of silent supporters for that day.

Thanks in advance for anything!

Love you all,
"L"

...um...do they need to be themed? I'd think just selling baked goods at a decorated table/stall would be sufficient.

Oh, come to think of it, you could adorn them with this (http://raider.muc.edu/organizations/gsa/Flyers/BiTriangle.jpg) symbol.

[Phae Nymna]

Well, we thought rainbow cake and cookies would be cute.
Then I said I could make pink triangle cookies.

It all shot up from there.

[Derjuin]

Hmm, how about cupcakes with the three-gender-symbol on them in blue, pink and purple? And if you're doing say, sandwich bread, you could have marbled rye and pumpernickel and say it is sort of like human sexuality/gender/whathaveyou, intermixed and interspersed and never really a pattern but rather a coalescing mixing swirling random kersplotch of notthesameness*. Or something :smallredface:

*That is different in every slice (person)!

[bluewind95]

Rainbow cake! Yes! That is a must! Such a good cake, that!

.... Yes, I do have a thing for differently-colored foods.

But seriously, rainbow cake is a good idea.

[Rauthiss]

Rainbow, glitter, pink. Prolong the stereotype!

[Worira]

You could bake a perfectly ordinary cake, then when people ask what it represents, tell them it's really just like any other cake.

[Forever Curious]

Rainbow, glitter, pink. Prolong the stereotype!

Hate to say it, but stereotypes work in some cases. Without them, you would all be just like everyone else...

[bluewind95]

Rainbow, glitter, pink. Prolong the stereotype!

I thought rainbow was more of a symbol. Glitter and pink, though, are more related to the stereotype.

I also don't approve of pink cake. Not special enough. Rainbow cake, on the other hand... is special. :P Each layer of dough is a different color.... and dough of different colors always is better than normal dough.

Glitter cake, though... shiny...

[Serpentine]

I have an idea for an olympic LGBT symbol. I wonder if this computer has paint...

[Forever Curious]

Glitter cake, though... shiny...

But probably not yummy. I mean, it is glitter...

[Ziren]

Hate to say it, but stereotypes work in some cases. Without them, you would all be just like everyone else...

Wouldn't we be more like ourselves and less than everyone else? :smallconfused:

[golentan]

Yes, don't be like them. Join us in individualism. Be an individual, just like us. One of us. One of Us...

Let's move away from all the scrubbing topics, yes? If you still need to talk about it, move to PMs.

[Forever Curious]

Yes, don't be like them. Join us in individualism. Be an individual, just like us. One of us. One of Us...

Let's move away from all the scrubbing topics, yes? If you still need to talk about it, move to PMs.

Done and done my good...extradimensional being? (not sure what the polite term for your species/gender is)

[Urg]

Am I the only one that doesn't think a bisexual nine year old on the Internet, and Giantitp forums for that matter, who doesn't type in textspeak is a little suspicious?:smallconfused:

[Serpentine]

Something like this, y'diggit?

http://i67.photobucket.com/albums/h287/serpentine16/lgbtolympics.jpg

[Forever Curious]

Am I the only one that doesn't think a bisexual nine year old on the Internet, and Giantitp forums for that matter, who doesn't type in textspeak is a little suspicious?:smallconfused:

Actually, that's what I've been pondering since yesterday. But to be honest, I had her level of typing eloquence at age 10 (or around then), so I'm hesitant to call foul. Then again, I'm no ordinary person, and am glad that some youth of today grasp the concept of language as I did.

...either that or I'm gullible. Whichever :smalltongue:

[Derjuin]

Image :D

I like it! :smallbiggrin: But then, I'm not the one holding the bake sale...soooo...>.>

[Phae Nymna]

Perhaps Penny does not realize that she (he?) is not in fact pressing the "1" key before the "9". Probably wishful thinking.

Perhaps we're prolonging a stereotype, but the idea is for LGBT and straight students to contribute pride and ally and awareness type thing to the sale to show a bit of community.

I proposed at GSA today that we sell a whole entire ham and say "Because the GSA love the pork." Laughs were had.

I FOUND rainbow cupcake recipes, AND I am looking into the most delicious cookies ever made locally to buy and donate to the sale.

[Penny67]

Am I the only one that doesn't think a bisexual nine year old on the Internet, and Giantitp forums for that matter, who doesn't type in textspeak is a little suspicious?:smallconfused:

Spell check, incidentaly.

[Phae Nymna]

Something like this, y'diggit?
"Piccah!"
That's awesome, Serp! We could even- We could- Oh-

Mhmhmhmhmhmmm...
MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

RAINBOW CAKE with a layer of WHITE ROYAL ICING or FONDANT, with THIS ICED ON TOP.

WE ARE THE QUEER CAKE MACHINE, BITCHES!!

EDIT: Also, there are two L's in "incidentally".

[Forever Curious]

That's awesome, Serp! We could even- We could- Oh-

Mhmhmhmhmhmmm...
MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

RAINBOW CAKE with a layer of WHITE ROYAL ICING or FONDANT, with THIS ICED ON TOP.

WE ARE THE QUEER CAKE MACHINE, BITCHES!!

...I feel my straightness dying a little with each and every post...:smalltongue:

[Phae Nymna]

...I feel my straightness dying a little with each and every post...:smalltongue:
We usually deny how we want to convert you and drink your blood or something. Screw that. We will break your feeble mind until you are a lisping, limp wristed, GOD.

All joking aside, thanks for the inspirationses.

Kisses,
L

[Penny67]

there are two L's in "incidentally".

Didn't check that post cause i wanted to let you see my ability to not spell things.

[Jacklu]

Something like this, y'diggit?

http://i67.photobucket.com/albums/h287/serpentine16/lgbtolympics.jpg

Hrm... the pink ring on the far left...

[Miyako]

Whatever you do, stay away from some of our more negative symbols.

Triangles, so she read once, were something to do with genocide. Bears can offend hairy people, gender signs are easily twisted to offend transgendered people (or just about anyone).

Penis, vagina or breast can carry many associations for rape victims or jerks.
Keep things positive and happy, do it with temperance.

If you make a rainbow cake, make all the layers rainbow-themed, from the majority of the cake itself to the frosting on the top. Not just the icing.

Try the symbolism another poster suggested: A normal cake, with a caption that says 'like any other cake'.

Also try famous characters from the Media, with homosexual themes.

Ichigo with Abarai Renji, Matsumoto with Yoroichi, Shinguji Sakura with Kirishima Kanna. Or famous characters from video games.

Abstract over obvious too...

Try landscapes, flowers, birds...

SAMURAI. Strong, proud, courteous and honorable!

Your table doesn't have to be all food, try mixing your culinary art with flower arrangements, or display dolls.

Emphasize that each different dessert is an artwork, not a pile of food.

Place your foods in individual trays, wrap them carefully to emphasize their shape and how hygenic you are.
Arrange your food carefully, not necessarily typed into piles of 'cookies here', and 'muffins there'. Asymmetry is a good choice, sprinkled here and there, cookies, cakes, muffins, pastries, bars -- arranged with purpose.

Or arranged to form a thing?

Food is to be eaten with the eyes.

Try doing some Origami, and then surrounding your food with it.

[golentan]

Cool. I'd like to emphasize to Penny, don't give out personal information to anyone over the web (including but not limited to: Name, location, photographs, phone numbers, or the like). There are very, very nasty people out there, and while I'd like to think none of them are in the playground, you're in a high risk age group and behavior pattern for attracting them, and it never hurts to be cautious.


Done and done my good...extradimensional being? (not sure what the polite term for your species/gender is)

I'm not picky. Sir or Ma'am is appropriate if you choose. Unless you want the 20 minute primer on honorifics, species terms, caste marks, rank, and names.

Golentan is actually an honorific (of sorts), so that works.

Edit: Semi-mass ninja-ed while distracted...

[Forever Curious]

Cool. I'd like to emphasize to Penny, don't give out personal information to anyone over the web (including but not limited to: Name, location, photographs, phone numbers, or the like). There are very, very nasty people out there, and while I'd like to think none of them are in the playground, you're in a high risk age group and behavior pattern for attracting them, and it never hurts to be cautious.

I second this statement.


I'm not picky. Sir or Ma'am is appropriate if you choose. Unless you want the 20 minute primer on honorifics, species terms, caste marks, rank, and names.

Golentan is actually an honorific (of sorts), so that works.

Very well, Sir Golentan ("sir" because it's shorter and rolls off the tongue more).

[Penny67]

I second this statement.

Thanks for the concern, I'll change my info now.
Edit: you too golentan

[Phae Nymna]

Whatever you do, stay away from some of our more negative symbols. "SNIP!"
You have described some seriously badass baked goods there.

I like the idea of a rainbow bodied cake (different layers of colored batter) with just a smooth white icing. Serp's Queerlympic Rings idea deserves to go on a cake.

The "Just Another Cake" idea I like a lot. I will relay these to the GSA.

Also, as a high school bake sale, I just want to say that we certainly aren't going to dot everything with penises and vaginae. Our symbols will probably be little men and men and women and women and little trans symbols and triangles and stuff. We know the triangles original context, and having seen the American Holocaust Museum last week, I actually feel more confident using the upright pink triangle as an adopted sign of change and modern thought.

[Forever Curious]

Thanks for the concern, I'll change my info now.
Edit: you too golentan

With the way you type, we wouldn't have known without you outright telling us.

[Serpentine]

Hrm... the pink ring on the far left...Ah spoot, you're right, I forgot to fix that. Bah, it was just meant to be a quick mock-up to get across what I was thinking of. Does it more or less incorporate the main LGBT thingies?

Admiral: Glad I could be inspirational! :smallbiggrin:

[RS14]

Most people that age aren’t really mature enough to understand heterosexuality, let alone homosexuality. It’s something that usually gets made fun of, which could be the reason why your friend is ignoring you. As far as most 9 year olds are concerned, homosexuality is weird.

My fourth-grade classmates thought homosexuality was a hilarious joke.



Penny, I for one think it's fine that you identify as bi. It's your life, and you're more qualified than anyone else to comment on it. As many of us here grew up identifying as hetrosexual, only later to realize otherwise, I don't even think there's much hazard in that identification in itself. Maybe you'll feel differently as you age. That, I'm sure, will be accepted, perhaps with some discomfort, but not all that bad, by itself.

That said, I wouldn't be out at your age. You're at the age where your friends are most likely to be malicious brats to people who are different, and virtually none of them will have given serious thought to homosexuality beyond "lol, sex." Or if they have, they're unlikely to speak up. So being out at your age is likely to be miserable. Sorry, but that's the way it seems to be. In maybe five years or so, things will be better.

Finally, it occurs to me that you may not have had sex education at your age. I strongly urge you to go read a bit on your own. Planned Parenthood has this website (http://www.plannedparenthood.org/teen-talk/). Take particular note of the information about STD. They can generally be transmitted by sexual contact between two women. Should you decide to have sex, you should understand the potential risks, and prepare accordingly.

Note also that under California law, the age of consent is 18. There is no 'Romeo and Juliet' law here, and you can be charged with a misdemeanor for consensual sex with someone of your own age. [I am not a lawyer; I merely read wikipedia]

I hope this helps.


Triangles, so she read once, were something to do with genocide.
From wikipedia:
"The pink triangle (German: Rosa Winkel) was one of the Nazi concentration camp badges, used by the Nazis to identify male prisoners in concentration camps who were sent there because of their homosexuality."

Personally, I prefer it over the rainbow flag. I see it as a somewhat stronger symbol, associated with a willingness to fight back against oppression. "Never Again."

Notably, the Pink Pistols are fond of it for just that reason.

[Forever Curious]

[I am not a lawyer; I merely read wikipedia]


...I really want to sig this :smalltongue:

[RabbitHoleLost]

I know I'm a little too late, but I knew I liked girls like I liked boys when I was seven. Granted, I swing in and out of a preference for girls, and at the moment I'm mostly hetero, but, in a way, I understand where Penny is coming from.
However, I...am a little disturbed at the hints of "adult" activities. I won't say more because a bunch of posts have been scrubbed and I don't want to make the LGBT thread go through more, but, Penny, I highly advise you look up the laws and whatnot on age of consent in your country/state/whatever.
Its always good to be on the legal side.

Edit: and I was ninja'd as I typed up the post.

[RS14]

...I really want to sig this :smalltongue:

Feel free.

[Coidzor]

*ahem*

This is just ridiculously ethically questionable.

[Nameless]

Speak of the devil.

The idea of my nephew having any real concept of sexuality disturbs me, and he's 11 (next year, I'll be up to dealing with the fact that he might be starting to experience the precursurs of such feelings).

See: previous anecdote of mine regarding the Mardi Gras and "I don't know what I am, really."


Sorry Penny, but sexuality is, fundamentally, founded on sex (specifically, who one would have sex with). The idea of a 9-year-old having anything to do with sex... Most of us, it seems just recoil from the idea. Even using the word "sex" to talk about this with you...
I feel dirty :(

Even though I agree that Penny should at least wait till puberty before deciding her sexuality (although, if she wants to identify with herself as bisexual or homosexual, then that's also fine, I'm just saying, you know, your more likely to change at such a young age, and you may regret coming out about it in the future. I would say the same thing to a 9 year old who claims to be heterosexual. But if right now you feel homosexual or bisexual, then fine. As I always say, go with your natural instincts.) I actually think it’s okay that she’s discussing it. I mean, no nine year old I know even has the maturity to bring the subject up. Heck, a lot of 19-21 year olds at my college still view any form of sexuality other then heterosexuality as disgusting or wrong, and the fact that a 9 year old can at the very least get over that and see that there’s nothing wrong with it, and actually discuss it with anyone is (in my eyes at least) a good thing.
I'm not saying she should make her final decision now, or go and have sex or anything like that. I am saying that the fact she's able to have an adult-like discussion about it is a good thing and I wish that more children would be more mature about it.

And I also don’t think sexuality is found primarily on having sex.

*late responce poof*

[Lioness]

And I also don’t think sexuality is found primarily on having sex.


Agreed. If it was, I'd currently wouldn't have a sexuality.

But yeah, I'm mainly attracted to guys. I've known that for ages. It was always guys I had crushes on, even as a 7-8 year old (And they weren't sexual crushes...they were more 'You're cool.'). Even now I'm not quite sure about the girl thing. I think it was a passing phase.

Then again, I was fairly sex-minded at 9. Early developer, and all that.

Penny: Nothing wrong with knowing you're bisexual, or homosexual. Even at your age, it's not like you can't change your mind later. It's not a concrete thing.
On the coming out, well, perhaps it would've been wiser to wait until everyone got a bit more mature. But hey, what's done is done.
On the sex, well, I'm not really much of an authority on that, but it's not something to be done flippantly. Enjoy childhood while you can. I'm still grasping on to the remnants of mine (17, BTW). It's also probably illegal. 2 kids at 15 having sex is not the same as 9 year olds, and likely to be treated as an illegal activity.

[MickJay]

Something like this, y'diggit?

I prefer simple rainbow motifs. I'm not particularly fond of multiple, mixed symbols, it's too easy to interpret them as an ad for a really weird orgy. Unless that's the intent, of course, but I'm assuming it's not. :smalltongue:

---

Almost all people tend to undergo a period when they are effectively bisexual when they begin to mature sexually, but things become clear only a few years after the hormones kick in (and even then, not always). Kids experiment with their sexuality long before it matures, or becomes legal (who of us didn't), but having actual sex is definitely something to be avoided until, at the very least, the legal age of consent (preferably give it a few extra years, too).

[Serpentine]

Sexuality is about sexual attaction, which is ultimately about sex, regardless of whether you're actually having any. Of course there are other factors involved, but ultimately it comes down to who you'd like to have sexy relations with (or, at the level a 9-year-old should be thinking, who you'd like to kiss). If it's not about that, then it's not about anything.

edit: Personal holes in my own argument: 1. I played some sort of "sex game" with a (female) friend when I was... less than 6, maybe 4ish. We did have an idea that it was "naughty", but that's about all. I have no idea how we got it in our heads to pretend to... you know :smallconfused:
2. At around the age of 11 I at least knew that I ought to have an idea of whether I was gay or not (and thus had an idea of what homosexuality was). But the idea of actually doing anything (beyond maybe a kiss (which I didn't)), or even thinking seriously about it at that age... *shudder*
3. I consider myself straight-but-flexible because, although I'm interested in trying a thing or two with girls, I can't imagine ever having a serious relationship with one, or falling in love. So, I suppose, you could say that sexuality is really about "romantic relationships". However, it is possible to have sex without a romantic relationship, but very rare (and even more rarely healthy) to have a romantic relationship without (at least the prospect of) sex (and/or sexy activities).

[Nameless]

Sexuality is about sexual attaction, which is ultimately about sex, regardless of whether you're actually having any. Of course there are other factors involved, but ultimately it comes down to who you'd like to have sexy relations with (or, at the level a 9-year-old should be thinking, who you'd like to kiss). If it's not about that, then it's not about anything.

edit: Personal holes in my own argument: 1. I played some sort of "sex game" with a (female) friend when I was... less than 6, maybe 4ish. We did have an idea that it was "naughty", but that's about all. I have no idea how we got it in our heads to pretend to... you know :smallconfused:
2. At around the age of 11 I at least knew that I ought to have an idea of whether I was gay or not (and thus had an idea of what homosexuality was). But the idea of actually doing anything (beyond maybe a kiss (which I didn't)), or even thinking seriously about it at that age... *shudder*
3. I consider myself straight-but-flexible because, although I'm interested in trying a thing or two with girls, I can't imagine ever having a serious relationship with one, or falling in love. So, I suppose, you could say that sexuality is really about "romantic relationships". However, it is possible to have sex without a romantic relationship, but very rare (and even more rarely healthy) to have a romantic relationship without (at least the prospect of) sex (and/or sexy activities).

Yes, but you can still have a sexuality if you're a virgin. Maybe once you've had sex it may change, but a whole number of things can change this.
You can still be sexually attracted to members of a specific sex or gender even if you've never had sex before.

[Serpentine]

I covered that.
Sexuality is about sexual attaction, which is ultimately about sex, regardless of whether you're actually having any. Of course there are other factors involved, but ultimately it comes down to who you'd like to have sexy relations with (or, at the level a 9-year-old should be thinking, who you'd like to kiss). If it's not about that, then it's not about anything.

[Roland St. Jude]

Sheriff of Moddingham: Please stop discussing the sexuality of nine year-olds or others plainly below the age of consent most places.

[bluewind95]

Awkward moment. I get a ride to class every day. Basically, my friend's mother drives us there. So we were there and she suddenly goes "Lookit that guy over there! Isn't he so cute-looking?"

I'm kind of not into guys. So I just laughed nervously and said I didn't know. Then quickly changed the subject.

[TheCountAlucard]

Awkward moment.Awkward indeed.

[Inhuman Bot]

Woo, less this-thread-being-lockedness.


Awkward moment. I get a ride to class every day. Basically, my friend's mother drives us there. So we were there and she suddenly goes "Lookit that guy over there! Isn't he so cute-looking?"

I'm kind of not into guys. So I just laughed nervously and said I didn't know. Then quickly changed the subject.

Eheheh...

Now, my thing. :smalltongue:

As far as I know, at least, I am not L/G/B/T, however, I have a friend who is.

This friend just recently discovered (Is that the right term?) she is lesbian, and is getting mocked by some of the homophobic idiots that go to the school I go to. So, she's feeling bad about admiting her sexuality, and feels like she's in the wrong.
This is why I think we made the wrong school choice. =p

Anyone have some "In general" advice as to what I can do to support her?

[Lix Lorn]

Sooo....
I'm now trying to sing Defying Gravity. Anyone else think Kurt from Glee is awesome?

Edit: Just make sure she knows that you're there for her, i guess.

[albis]

Woo, less this-thread-being-lockedness.



Eheheh...

Now, my thing. :smalltongue:

As far as I know, at least, I am not L/G/B/T, however, I have a friend who is.

This friend just recently discovered (Is that the right term?) she is lesbian, and is getting mocked by some of the homophobic idiots that go to the school I go to. So, she's feeling bad about admiting her sexuality, and feels like she's in the wrong.
This is why I think we made the wrong school choice. =p

Anyone have some "In general" advice as to what I can do to support her?

First things first: Make sure to get in her head that there's absolutely nothing wrong with her.

the mocking from idiots will subside eventually, that kind of people is usually not intelligent enough to think up insults for a long time XD

[Faulty]

Sooo....
I'm now trying to sing Defying Gravity. Anyone else think Kurt from Glee is awesome?

Edit: Just make sure she knows that you're there for her, i guess.

I watched the first two episodes of Glee with my mom when I was in town for Reading Week and he was just so... gay. That was like his character. It was almost... token-ish. Mercedes was also just like... a sassy black girl. I thought it was cool to have a black person, an asian person, a gay person and a disabled person all as main characters even if it focuses on the pretty white people, though. I just hope they under go some character developmnent at some point.

[Forever Curious]

Sooo....
I'm now trying to sing Defying Gravity. Anyone else think Kurt from Glee is awesome?

Edit: Just make sure she knows that you're there for her, i guess.

YES! Kurt's version is my favorite rendition. I'm not an avid glee fan, but it's an amazing interpretation.

[Lix Lorn]

They seem to to me. XD

Yep, i love it. XD

[golentan]

So, this is going to be weird, but I was watching south park, and I was wondering if anyone else thought Jimbo and Ned were A) Gay, and B) Really, Really Cute together. In a gun crazed, drunken killing spree kind of way.

But seriously, they live together, work together, play together, watch adult videos together, have hospital visitation rights, and Ned apparently moved to South Park after meeting Jimbo. And that's just one episode.

Plus it fits with southpark's tradition of Armored Closets. (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ArmouredClosetGay) If so, they may be the least stereotypical gay couple on television.

Maybe my shipper instinct is just crazy. But I desperately want it to be so now.:smallfrown:

[Lix Lorn]

Armoured Closets. Best. Trope. Ever. XD

[MickJay]

Jimbo is gay, there was one episode when every character who said the word "***" got censored by a bleep, except for obviously gay Mr. Garrison, and uncle Jimbo. Ned gave him a weird look then, but this could be due to a number of reasons, though. :smallbiggrin:

[Coidzor]

Well, it's not like they were trying to avoid that impression.

Though I'd say it's a bit of a stretch to apply cute to them, separately or as a pair.

[golentan]

Well, it's not like they were trying to avoid that impression.

Though I'd say it's a bit of a stretch to apply cute to them, separately or as a pair.

Which is exactly why they're so cute.

Same reason Durkon in Love was.

[Coidzor]

Durkon in Love was supposed to be cute though. So it's not the same reason.

[golentan]

Durkon in Love was supposed to be cute though. So it's not the same reason.

He was, but it's a case of the Romance working largely because he's not a standard romantic lead in the minds of the audience, as I recall.

[Coplantor]

{Scrubbed}

[Pyrian]

The ads that appear when you visit ArmoredGayCloset (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ArmouredClosetGay) are hilarious. :smallbiggrin:

[CoffeeIncluded]

Guys, look at this! (http://www.nytimes.com/2010/03/04/us/04marriage.html?hp)

In case you can't reach the link, as of this morning, same-sex marriage was legalized in Washington D. C.!

[golentan]

Guys, look at this! (http://www.nytimes.com/2010/03/04/us/04marriage.html?hp)

In case you can't reach the link, as of this morning, same-sex marriage was legalized in Washington D. C.!

WHOOO!!! Go D.C.!!!

[Viera Champion]

Well, looks like I have officially joine the LGBT community, kind of. I have only come out to my brother, but he seems to have taken my bisexuality well enough. I still don't plan on telling the rest of my family any time soon.

[Lix Lorn]

Good for you!
Hug?

[albis]

Well, looks like I have officially joine the LGBT community, kind of. I have only come out to my brother, but he seems to have taken my bisexuality well enough. I still don't plan on telling the rest of my family any time soon.

Well, the fact that now you have your brother to confide in will certainly improve things. =)

Cheers :smallsmile:

[Lorolar]

Huzzah for you, back when I came out as "bi" (which I later progressed to gay from) telling my sister gave me someone in the family who could support me and mabye steer the family away from difficult conversations. Heres hoping your brother is sensative enough to do the same for you.

Welcome to the community, not that I've been here for more than a couple days myself :smallsmile:

[MickJay]

Welcome, indeed!

@Lorolar From what I've seen, fewer people bother with coming out as "bi" if they feel only mild attraction to men.

This, of course, sometimes leads to a false assumption that all "bi" people are gay, only don't want to admit it to themselves. Let's not forget that the preference can be fluid and change over time as well. (I identify myself as bi, with some preference for males).

[Forever Curious]

Guys, look at this! (http://www.nytimes.com/2010/03/04/us/04marriage.html?hp)

In case you can't reach the link, as of this morning, same-sex marriage was legalized in Washington D. C.!

Eh, I neither support nor debase same-sex marriage, but I suppose congrats are in order. Time's wheels are turning indeed...

[Coplantor]

Well, looks like I have officially joine the LGBT community, kind of. I have only come out to my brother, but he seems to have taken my bisexuality well enough. I still don't plan on telling the rest of my family any time soon.

Congratulations dude! And I hope you can tell your family and they'll be as cool as your brother.

[Moonshadow]

So, I realized a little while ago that my latent bisexuality was finally making itself want to be heard. Of course, this was helped largely by my wonderful girlfriend, who is also bi, and helped me make sense of how I was feeling.

I still have a preference towards women, but I wouldn't shy away if it was the right guy. I don't know, sex with another guy seems kinda exciting, but I'm strictly monogamous, so its not going to happen now.

I guess I see sex as just sex, gender doesn't really equate into it, which is the same way my girlfriend feels.

I've always been fairly camp though, definatly did more girly things growing up than guy things. Being bi just feels right to me.

Of course, I think that being treated like I'm a woman a lot of the time by my partner helps too, heh :smalltongue:

I don't really intend to tell my family though. Its not that they wouldn't understand, just that I don't feel like its their business knowing. I don't see my sexuality as anything shameful, or really something to be trumpeted from every rooftop.

I'm content merely being me :smallsmile:

[Lix Lorn]

Good for you. It's a good way to be.

[Faulty]

Guys, look at this! (http://www.nytimes.com/2010/03/04/us/04marriage.html?hp)

In case you can't reach the link, as of this morning, same-sex marriage was legalized in Washington D. C.!

The Sexist (http://www.washingtoncitypaper.com/blogs/sexist/) has had a number of posts regarding it. :smallsmile:

[Murdim]

I'm still hesitant about posting, but the prospect of it has been monopolizing my thoughts for some days too many. And I'm kinda tired of spending most of my free time on a stupid obsession, lurking this thread as well as other related sites, when there's many things I was envisioning to do that are more important, more constructive, more entertaining, more socially stimulating, more useful, more enriching, and less energy sanity-consuming. Like for exemple, actually posting a message on the LGBT thread, among other things. So...

I consider myself... bisexual. With a definitive preference towards women, but still bisexual. But I'm not sure if I should. And that drives me crazy. Well, crazier.

It's not even that I'm questioning, not anymore at least. To keep a long story... long, I'll put the boring backstory details in a spoiler box.

My first same-sex attractions date back to around age 12. Unfortunately, at that time, I was... surprisingly biphobic. Surprisingly, because I was already quite open about homosexuality and transsexualism, even by the time and place's standards, and fairly tolerant in a number of subjects I hadn't been "indoctrinated" into. But even among "tolerant people", it was common knowledge that bisexuality don't really exist ; that everyone is either straight or gay with few "switchers" and no inbetween ; that some teenagers experience both same-sex and opposite-sex attractions because of their naughty hormones but this is just a phase ; that self-described "bisexual" adults are confused, sexually immature and socially dysfunctional at best, undiscriminating sexual perverts at worst, sleazy liars most of the time... and sadly, I heavily bought into it.

So I waited. I waited for the embarassing period of ambiguity to end. I waited for those pesky occasional homosexual leanings to vanish, and let my already predominant heterosexualiy become as exclusive as it should be. I waited, utterly convinced that I would eventually become one hundred percent straight... or maybe gay, if my general preferences suddenly got inverted against all odds - not that there would be anything wrong with that, of course.

Some time later, probably around 14, I began to accept the existence of non-confused, non-perverted, "true" bisexual women... well, at first I imagined that pretty much all of them were sex-crazed, but since I didn't attach the traditional big stigma to female promiscuity, it already was a real progress over my previous attitude. By the age of 16, I had admitted that bisexuals of both sexes do exist, and that like gays, they weren't always defined by their sexuality. But I was still pretty sure I wasn't one of them, that I was really a future hetero "in a phase". After all, I've consistantly preferred women since my puberty, and you can't say you like both genders when you've always preferred one over the other... which means I'm heterosexual, which means I'll grow out of this mess... right ?

Wrong, as it took me two more effing years to admit. THEN I slowly began to understand and accept that I wasn't, that I never had been "in a phase", and that my "imperfect" heterosexuality was the real deal all along. Hey, that was already a big victory over myself, to admit that I weren't going to magically become 100% straight. Of course, I still considered myself straight(ish) ; and of course, the loss of my old "just a phase" excuse also meant I had nothing left to answer each time a situation made me say to myself "I'm supposed to be straight, dammit !" (well, an equivalent in French la langue française, anyway). But still.

Around the same time, TvTropes (http://tvtropes.org/) began to ruin my life. And (un)surprisingly, it turned out that there were some pages I was (not so) inexplicably uneasy about visiting, despite being really interested in their content. Like, No Bisexuals. Or Bi The Way. Or Even The Guys Want Him. Or If It's You It's Okay. Heck, even things like Straight Gay or Sitch Sexuality ; Stupid Sexy Flanders took me by surprise, though. Over time, I ended up visiting each of those pages. And their Discussion. And their Troper Tales. I found it interesting, but also surprisingly... refreshing. Emotionally stimulating. And slowly began to emerge the totally abstract hypothesis that I could technically be... y'know... a bisexual. An hypothesis that brought me to realise, in a completely theoretical and depersonalized way (well, as much as I could, anyway), that in the same way I wasn't "straight" in the strictest sense of the term, there is at least some definitions of bisexuality I'm undeniably included in.

Now, everyone here probably knows how much those annoying meaningless little sexuality labels can become a real mindscrew as soon as you aren't either 100% heterosexual and straight-identified, 100% homosexual and gay-identified, 50-50 and bisexual-identified, or not attracted by anyone or anything and asexual-identified. Even if we restrict ourselves to the three usual labels, straight, gay and bi, there's so many different definitions for those three terms that even when only taking into account the sensible ones, the whole mess ends up being both overlapping and reductive at the same time. If you are primarily attracted to people of the same sex, you'll be encouraged to identify as gay ; yet at the same time, if you identify as gay, you'll be expected to be exclusively attracted to the same sex. Ditto for heterosexuality and bisexuality. And I don't think that "not believing in labels", or introducing new ones like "heteroflexible", really helps ; well, it didn't really help me, at least :smallfrown:

"Long story long" story short : gay-friendly but biphobic twelve year old boy isn't as clearly-cut heterosexual as he would like to be ; considers it to be just a phase, which would've lasted 8 years and counting if he still believed it today ; becomes progressively less of an ass about it as he grows up ; ends up very sympathetic towards bi people ; begins to question whether "straight" really is the most honest label for him while trying hard to stay emotionally detached on the subject ; frustrates himself over the meaninglessness of meaningless little labels.

Anyway, since I couldn't have a set of definitions that pleases everyone, I decided to find one that would satisfy me, at least, and base my choice of meaningless little label on it. Fortunately, after some reflection, I managed to work one out that really appeal to me - essentially : you're straight if you consider your same-sex leanings to be either inexistant, or negligible compared to your opposite-sex leanings ; and the rest follows from here. Unfortunately, under those definitions, I fall on the bisexual spectrum, which was kind of jarring since deep down, I still considered myself straight(ish).

That is, until about three months ago, when... something... happened, for some reason. While wasting my life on TvTropes, I realised several things.
That I tend to underemphasize my same-sex leanings by putting them under unsuited criteria drawn from people with a much higher sex drive, instead of comparing them honestly with my heterosexual preferences.
That many instances of being not only attracted, but aroused by males, several "mancrushes", a few "actor crushes" and one actual crush definitively counts as more than "incidental".
That despite being minoritary by a large margin, my same-sex feelings do have an importance, a richness, a value. That denigrating them as "deviations from my heterosexuality" isn't being true to myself, to the contrary. That I should stop feeling ashamed by them.
That being attracted regardless of gender isn't merely "a good concept" for me. That I'm not just a straight man who's becoming overzealous about his crazy post-feminist ideas. That I'm actually, really, a bisexual man, and that I should fully accept this.

I know it sounds excessive, cheesy, maybe even artificial... but it really happened that way. It was the turning point where I stopped admitting my bisexuality, and started embracing it. I essentially came out to myself this day.

Three months later, I'm still in the same state of mind considering my sexual orientation. But despite considering myself bisexual, I'm not sure if it is really appropriate for me to do so. I'm not questioning anymore about how I feel, but I'm still unsure about how I should label myself according to the way I feel. There's so many people who experiences attraction to the "wrong" gender but still consider themselves straight, gay or lesbian. Even without taking into account homophobia and biphobia... some people might think I'm not bi enough to "deserve" the label, and that I'm just a confused straight man trying to draw attention on himself.

Well, I'm completely aware that my little problems of self-identification seem even more tiny when compared to what some people on this thread had to go through, and I'm in fact kinda embarassed to display said little problems like it was a serious thing, but... what do you think about it ?


(And, well, sorry about my approximative grammar. English is not my native language, it is by far the biggest text I ever wrote in a foreign language, plus... it is 3:45 AM here, and I'm a little bit exhausted)

[Serpentine]

Is this a good time to repost my sexuality chart?

http://i67.photobucket.com/albums/h287/serpentine16/sexuality.gif

(on the X-axis, +/-10 = "absolutely not so much as even the occasional hint of the possibility of a chance in hell of maybe being the tiniest bit attracted to the same/other sex", 0 = "equal preference for same or other sex, equal likelihood (all other things being equal) of getting into a relationship or other with either sex")

I know some people have changed their positions on here or wanted to add their own, but I just haven't gotten around to it for ages, sorry.

[Derjuin]

I like this chart, it helps me greatly :smallbiggrin:

[Pyrian]

I've always been a bit baffled by the people who are "heteroasexual" (bottom right corner). :smallconfused: I'm not sure what that even means. :smallbiggrin:

[Serpentine]

They don't like sex, but if they had to they'd only do it with the opposite sex?

[Pyrian]

If you only do it when you absolutely have to, you probably don't get to pick your partner, either. :smallcool:

[Serpentine]

Well, no, but maybe it's sorta "on the off-chance that at any point in the future I might not hate the idea of having sex, it will without a doubt be with a member of the opposite sex" sorta thing. Quit being difficult! :smalltongue:

[Pyrian]

Ah, the day I quit being difficult will be the day I die, I'm afraid. :smallcool:

If a cup is filled with a screwdriver, you can say what percentage of it is orange juice and what percentage of it is vodka. If it's half full, you can still say that. But if it's empty... How does the distinction even have meaning?

I even got into this with Afroakuma, back in the day. He desperately wanted to have an asexual romantic relationship with a woman. I'm still baffled by the notion. I call that "close friendship".

[Faulty]

If you're at all interested in updating it a bit, I'm 8 X, 9 Y.

[golentan]

Hmm. Yep. I think I'd probably move up to a 0 at this point...

[bluewind95]

Ooohh. I'd be... a -9 in the Y-axis and 10 in the X axis.

The way it is for me is... I am not interested in sex... but if I had to accept it... I'd only accept it with the opposite gender. And I mean... it's not that you wouldn't pick the partner... but thing is... I, personally, am not aromantic, despite being asexual. So I would probably participate in that kind of activity... if it were really important for m partner. I just don't have any personal interest in it.

Not that I'm getting a partner, but that's the theory.

... If that makes no sense... I'll try to explain it tomorrow after I've had some sleep.

[Anuan]

I'm somewhere between 9 and 10 on the x axis... and between 8 and 9 on the y.

[Rauthiss]

I'd probably be placed around a -7 X, 2 Y. Oh look, Nobody else in that spot. :smallcool:

[Serpentine]

I just had a chat with my lesbian* honours colleague about an awkward conversation I had earlier with our maybe sort-of awkwardly homophobic other colleague involving the "scandalous" news that his supervisor is lesbian, and "this girl here, she's not... she isn't a..." "Yeah, she's gay." "Oh. Is she?" and >drags me to the other side of the room< "there's this "allee" thing, this... "allee"... I think the rainbow thing is a gay thing" >shows me the rainbow-bordered "ally UNE" sign on someone's desk<.
...
Ionno.
But I think she's gonna mess with him now, which is a shame, cuz he's a pretty nice (if rather weird) guy.


*I nearly said Lebanese, and then had to conciously not write lesbianese :smallconfused:

[Vaynor]

I just had a chat with my lesbian* honours colleague about an awkward conversation I had earlier with our maybe sort-of awkwardly homophobic other colleague involving the "scandalous" news that his supervisor is lesbian, and "this girl here, she's not... she isn't a..." "Yeah, she's gay." "Oh. Is she?" and >drags me to the other side of the room< "there's this "allee" thing, this... "allee"... I think the rainbow thing is a gay thing" >shows me the rainbow-bordered "ally UNE" sign on someone's desk<.
...
Ionno.
But I think she's gonna mess with him now, which is a shame, cuz he's a pretty nice (if rather weird) guy.

Sorry... but, what?

[Serpentine]

Hrm.
I just had a chat with my gay honours colleague about an awkward conversation I had earlier with our maybe sort-of awkwardly homophobic other colleague.
This earlier conversation involved the following events:
The "scandalous" news that his supervisor is gay.
An exchange that went like this, referring to the aforementioned gay coleague: Him - "this girl here, she's not... she isn't a..." Me - "Yeah, she's gay." Him - "Oh. Is she?"
He dragged me to the other side of the room, saying "there's this "allee" thing, this... "allee"... I think the rainbow thing is a gay thing" to show me the rainbow-bordered "ally UNE" sign on someone's desk.

Does that make more sense?

[golentan]

Sorry... but, what?

If I'm following, Vipermorph's coworker (A) is gay. And her other coworker (B), is homophobic. B found out, asked Serp, and showed her a rainbow Ally flag. A knows that B is freaking out, and Serp suspects is planning on messing with B. B is basically nice, and Serp feels this is counterproductive.

Edit: Ninja'ed! By the local Anguiform!

[cycoris]

Hmmm, if Serpy's updating the chart, I go somewhere around (4,0) or so. For now. :smalltongue:

[Vaynor]

Gotcha, it was just a bit hard to follow. :smallsmile:

[Serpentine]

If I'm following, Vipermorph's coworker (A) is gay. And her other coworker (B), is homophobic. B found out, asked Serp, and showed her a rainbow Ally flag. A knows that B is freaking out, and Serp suspects is planning on messing with B. B is basically nice, and Serp feels this is counterproductive.

Edit: Ninja'ed! By the local Anguiform!Pretty close. I should point out that B isn't exactly homophobic, more... "wants to be progressive but thinks it's ever-so much a big deal" sort of thing, I think? Just... awkward. He's not really freaking out, so much as... is awkward. And I think A was mostly kidding about messing with him...

Maybe updating the chart. We'll see.

[Pyrian]

There should be a spot on the chart for people who want people of the opposite sex who don't want them back. That's where I'd be. :smallfrown: