Into the West: Let's Play Oregon Trail II

[Zarah]

http://indolents.com/oregontrail/Oregon_trail_ii_opening.JPG

Yes, another LP from Zarah. However, this time I'm tackling a game that's a little less daunting than Morrowind. This time, we're playing Oregon Trail II!

What the heck is this?
Oregon Trail II is the 1996 sequel to the best-selling educational game The Oregon Trail with better graphics, better sounds and better gameplay... Maybe. It tends to be overlooked by its more successful predecessor, but it's still a game worthy of standing on its own merits. It's fairly pathetic by today's game standards, but that's what makes it so much fun to play.

So why am I doing this Let's Play?
I recently stumbled over my Oregon Trail II CD, which reminded me of an utterly hilarious LP of the same game a while back on Something Awful. An LP where the answer to every single body of water, regardless of depth, was "FORD THAT MOTHER****ER." I wanted to see if I could relive some of the hilarity here with our own LP. Keep in mind that it's been years since I've seriously played this game, so I have no intention of doing this LP with any modicum of sanity. I aim to make this as ridiculous as possible, and recommend all of you to do the same. Let's not just make history, let's do it in the most ludicrous ways possible!

What's the backstory?
A group of 19th century settlers travels west, along the Oregon Trail, to discover a new home among the unspoiled lands. Along the way, they will encounter rivers, towns, forts, rivers, landmarks, wild animals, rivers and probably a disease or two. Or three. Everything else will come from the story that we craft.

Who are you playing as?
I'll be playing as the wagon leader, who will be named after myself. Five others will be accompanying me in my journey, who will be named after the first five people to post with interest to likely die of cholera. However, everyone is welcome to cast their votes into the pool.

Are we going to help play?
Yes! You will be the ones I am leading to a new life, so it only makes sense that you be the ones to make the calls. I will attempt to present nearly every interruption and obstacle along the way to you guys. I trust you will lead us to freedom. Or death. Probably death.

So, what are we waiting for? Let's hit the road!

http://indolents.com/oregontrail/1-newgame.jpg

First things first, I need to figure out who's coming with me. If you want your name in this LP, then post here with the name that you want and your starting age (ranging from 5 to 20, then increments of 5 until 65). The first five people who post with this interest will be chosen. We will be setting out in May of 1848 (the default settings) with $800 to live off of.

Secondly, we have some other stuff to choose. We need to pick one of four starting locations: Independence, St. Joseph, Nauvoo or Kanesville.

We also need to choose where we want to settle: Oregon City, Sacramento, Great Salt Lake City, or the Rogue River Valley.

Finally, we need to decide if we want to set out with a small farmwagon, a large farmwagon or a Conestoga wagon, which cost $60, $75 and $100 respectively.

So what's the game plan, guys?

[Inhuman Bot]

Oh.

My.

Freakin'.

God. :smalleek:

This is going to end HORRIBLY.

Dibs on being a passenger. :smallwink::smalltongue:

[RS14]

I love Cholera. Sign me up. :smallbiggrin:

Age of 19

I vote for Oregon City in a Large Farm-wagon. Lets start in Independence.

I always thought Oregon Trail II was the best, though I didn't play all of the games. I don't know what happened to our cd.


We will be setting out in May of 1848 (the default settings) with $725 to live off of.

...

Finally, we need to decide if we want to set out with a small farmwagon, a large farmwagon or a Conestoga wagon, which cost $60, $75 and $100 respectively.

Note that the wagon seems to be separate from our spare cash, so we can potentially start with $740 and a small wagon or $700 and a conestoga.

[Aragehaor]

Oh gods...


I can tell already that this is going to take over my life.


I can see it now. It'll start at first with me mildly checking the site day after day for the odd chance that there was an update. "Heh. this is kinda funny." i would say Unaware of the madness slowly folding over me..

Days later my addiction would grow
checking this forum 5 times a day for an update. hoping for more! "Pleaseohpleaseupdateupdat- Darn." aware of the madness folding around me, But knowing it was too late...

Then. my addiction will grow to unhealthly levels. with me checking constantly for an update.
refreshing this thread every chance i get. "My Precious...... update my Preeeeecccccciiooouuussssssss..... HEHEHEHEHE!" The madness setting in fully as i live out the rest of my days in worship to the majesty of the Lets play and its creator.



That Said, Count me in.



I vote for Independence The Rogue River Valley and A large Farmwagon






Edit: Age 25. Name Doesnt matter really. (Perhaps Russell? or Malak? Im horrible with names. Feel free to name me whatever you wish.)

[Zarah]

Dibs on being a passenger. :smallwink::smalltongue:
Do you have a preferred age?


Note that the wagon seems to be separate from our spare cash, so we can potentially start with $740 and a small wagon or $700 and a conestoga.
That it does. My bad. I fixed the main post, so we're starting with $800 as a total, minus the cost of the wagon, whichever we go with. Thanks for pointing that out, though.


Edit: Age 25. Name Doesnt matter really. (Perhaps Russell? or Malak? Im horrible with names. Feel free to name me whatever you wish.)
Then I shall name you after your screenname, unless you have any objections. There'll be no confusion once you get sick with something that way. :smalltongue:

[AgentPaper]

If our name is used, would you be expecting us to RP? I don't have the creativity for that (or the time) but I'd love to be in there if you just need a name.

As for the name, I'll go for Leeroy. :smallwink:

Edit: Unless you're just using screennames, in which case AgentPaper or ThePaper works fine.

[Zarah]

If our name is used, would you be expecting us to RP? I don't have the creativity for that (or the time) but I'd love to be in there if you just need a name.

As for the name, I'll go for Leeroy. :smallwink:

Edit: Unless you're just using screennames, in which case AgentPaper or ThePaper works fine.
No, I just want names so there's a bit more of a personal connection. It's funnier to say that one of us died rather than some other random character.

Also, I think I'll go with screen names, since it'll be easier for other readers to keep track of who is really who. ...Not that it really matters, but like I said, it's funnier that way. :smalltongue:

EDIT: But now I must sleep. Still need one more, then tomorrow, the adventure can truly begin. :smallbiggrin:

[xp194]

count me in!
Dysentry Ahoy!

[The Glyphstone]

Baby Binky, age 3. Let's leave out of Independence in a Conestoga, heading for Oregon City.

[The Dark Fiddler]

Age 15, Fiddler. Edit: Argh, it seems I'm a bit too late. ...unless you disqualify people who didn't give all the info and invalid responses... *mind control mind control*

I say we head out to Sacramento (GOLD RUSH!), starting from Independence.

Get a Conestoga Wagon. You're gonna need lots of space for all the chickens you're gonna bring. :smalltongue:

[Zarah]

I'll use the names of the first 5 with whatever the starting age was when I booted up the game. However, I'll use anyone I didn't get to for the next game, should we all die early. Which we probably will.

So, according to the votes, here's what we're setting out with (there was a tie between the large farmwagon and the conestoga, so I just went with the conestoga. We might need extra space):

http://indolents.com/oregontrail/2-settingout.jpg

Well, here I am in Independence.

http://indolents.com/oregontrail/3-independence.jpg

My fellow settlers were getting antsy to leave, so I figured we should hit the road immediately. However, as soon as I took a step forward, I was approached by some merchant, no doubt trying to swindle me as he talked about "his package." I dunno how he found me, or why he approached me on the street, but it seemed fishy.

http://indolents.com/oregontrail/4-package.jpg

Fellow settlers, will we buy a starting package before we set out? Or shall we throw caution to the wind and stock up the way we see fit?

I'm guessing the latter.

[The Dark Fiddler]

The way we see fit! The way we see fit!

Buy lots of chickens. :smallamused:

[RS14]

No, lets buy our own stuff. The starting packages never contained sufficient medicine, in my experience. I personally just bought 1 of every medicine (or more, if I knew it to be useful). Bring the standard rifle and accessories, some basic wagon parts, basic clothing/warm clothing, and plenty of food. Don't forget dried vegetables. Also a few of the more useful tools. A couple water-kegs should be essential. For draft animals, lets go with Oxen; get plenty; as a butcher, I imagine you'll be able to slaughter any that fall.

[Thane of Fife]

Out of curiosity, what skills did you take? Did you take any?

Be sure to buy as many anvils and grandfather clocks as possible.

[chiasaur11]

Guns. Lots of guns.

If we're going to make all large animals between here and Oregon extinct, we need a good deal of firepower.

[Zarah]

Out of curiosity, what skills did you take? Did you take any?

Be sure to buy as many anvils and grandfather clocks as possible.

I started as a butcher, so I have cooking as a skill. Also, the store had 2 grandfather clocks. They are now ours. I also bought a bottle of every medicine the man had, some clothes for all of us, and two banjos. Why? Because I could. He has no weapons, however, so I'll have to go somewhere else to buy those. EDIT: I just bought 3 water kegs too.

We should decide what kind of foodstuffs we want before I get carried away, though:

http://indolents.com/oregontrail/5-foood1.jpg
http://indolents.com/oregontrail/5-foood2.jpg
http://indolents.com/oregontrail/5-foood3.jpg
http://indolents.com/oregontrail/5-foood4.jpg
http://indolents.com/oregontrail/5-foood5.jpg

[The Dark Fiddler]

Guns. Lots of guns.

If we're going to make all large animals between here and Oregon extinct, we need a good deal of firepower.

And bring along lots of chickens, because what good is all that meat without eggs?

Edit: Teeth rotting candy and some tea to wash it down with!

[Isak]

And bring along lots of chickens, because what good is all that meat without eggs?

Edit: Teeth rotting candy and some tea to wash it down with!

Don't forget the Maple Syrup! :smallbiggrin:

[Pie Guy]

Name: The Generic Guy (Or just Generic)
Age: 30

Buy all the guns they have. Do't take food, just buy bullets.

[AgentPaper]

All of the beans they have in stock, and then as much as you can afford of maple syrup, candy, licorice, lard, molasses, and honey, without making us too broke to buy lots of guns when we get to that.

[Flickerdart]

Food is for suckers. Buy lots of guns and bullets, hunt.

[RS14]

Bacon. We can buy all 600lbs of it for only $30. (Don't do that though. :smallbiggrin:)

Take a couple pounds of celery, as it is cheap.

A pound or two of coffee beans.

20lbs cornmeal, 20lbs dried beans, 20lbs dried fruit, 20lbs dried vegetables. 20lbs flour. 5lbs lard. 10lbs onions. 20lbs potatoes. 20lbs rice. 25lbs pickles. 5lbs pemmican. Assorted other tastier food. Cheese? That's 185lbs of foodstuffs, plus however much bacon we take. How much have we packed of other things, and how much can we carry?

5000lb capacity. We won't even come close to that, I expect, so buy maybe 50-100lbs of bacon.

[The Dark Fiddler]

Bacon. We can buy all 600lbs of it for only $30. (Don't do that though. :smallbiggrin:)

Take a couple pounds of celery, as it is cheap.

A pound or two of coffee beans.

20lbs cornmeal, 20lbs dried beans, 20lbs dried fruit, 20lbs dried vegetables. 20lbs flour. 5lbs lard. 10lbs onions. 20lbs potatoes. 20lbs rice. 25lbs pickles. 5lbs pemmican. Assorted other tastier food. Cheese? That's 185lbs of foodstuffs, plus however much bacon we take. How much have we packed of other things, and how much can we carry?

What's this? Logic. Dear sir, I think you're missing the point of Let's Plays. :smalltongue: (No, you aren't, as there isn't a 'point', per se, but I felt that I needed to point out how you're using logic and specifics for your choices and the rest of us are being ridiculous. Also, candy and tea ftw!)

[Zarah]

I did the gun shopping before hand, to make sure we'd at least have SOMETHING to hunt with before spending all our money on food. However, there'll be money left after this, so I'll head back and stock up some more. I also bought 8 oxen, 6 chickens and some spare wagon parts while I was out. Anyway, here's our food shopping list:

20 lbs. of candy
30 10-lbs. sacks of dried beans
10 5-lbs. sacks of dried fruits (to prevent scurvy)
10 5-lbs. sacks of dried vegetables
35 16-oz. jars of honey
50 5-lbs. slabs of lard
19 1-lb. jars of licorice
25 16-oz. tins of maple syrup
30 16-oz. jars of molasses
20 lbs. of tea

Anything we're forgetting?

[The Dark Fiddler]

Anything we're forgetting?

Galric, lots of garlic. Gotta keep the vampires away.

[Mirrinus]

Potatoes. You can't be a meat-and-potatoes man without potatoes.

[RS14]

10 50-lbs. sacks of dried fruits (to prevent scurvy)
10 50-lbs. sacks of dried vegetables

Those are 5lb sacks, fortunately. Though the idea of hauling half a ton of fruits and veggies cross country amuses me.


What's this? Logic. Dear sir, I think you're missing the point of Let's Plays. :smalltongue: (No, you aren't, as there isn't a 'point', per se, but I felt that I needed to point out how you're using logic and specifics for your choices and the rest of us are being ridiculous. Also, candy and tea ftw!)

Yeah, I always play Oregon Trail to win. Old habits are hard to break.

[Flickerdart]

More gun. You wouldn't be able to defend a single hill without more gun.

[chiasaur11]

More gun. You wouldn't be able to defend a single hill without more gun.

Ideally, try to get a cannon for the wagon. Not enough gun, of course, but it is more gun.

[Zarah]

Those are 5lb sacks, fortunately. Though the idea of hauling half a ton of fruits and veggies cross country amuses me.

Whoops. You saw nothing. >_>


More gun. You wouldn't be able to defend a single hill without more gun.

With the money I had left, I returned to the gunsmith to stock up more. Unfortunately, the other guns proved to be too expensive to load up on too many, so I loaded up with other provisions. Here's our loadout:

20 boxes of 20 bullets
5 25-lb. kegs of gunpowder
20 10-lb. sacks of shot
1 pistol
1 rifle
1 shotgun
1 rifle or shotgun sheath (someone is going to lose a toe)

At the moment, I have $16.63 left in the bank. I also added some garlic to our foodstuffs.

[AgentPaper]

How can you say no to 650 pounds of dried beans?! :smallbiggrin:

I say buy the rest of that, and then save the other $5 for indian prostitutes.

[Zarah]

It is done. I bought another 650 lbs. of dried beans, and then threw 200 lbs. of potatoes on top of it all. We have 48 cents left in our pocket.

The trail beckons, people, but we have one decision left to make for our journey:

http://indolents.com/oregontrail/6-wagontrain.jpg

[The Dark Fiddler]

Train three, less likely to attract vampires and if we kill people randomly for suspection of stealing our chickens, we have a better chance of being right.

[xp194]

Train 3. Because we use the Steam-Interwebnets and therefore are not that comfortable in other human company.

edit: Also, less people to catch dysentery from.

[chiasaur11]

Train 3. Because we use the Steam-Interwebnets and therefore are not that comfortable in other human company.

But with that few people, you'll always have the same people for TF2 games. If someone's awful, they'll be on your team almost every game. Pick team 1. Because it has one in the team name.

8,000.

[AgentPaper]

Hmm, they say there's safety in numbers...but third time's the charm, and my mum didn't raise no fool.

Train 3. :smallamused:

[Zarah]

Train 3 it is. Ladies and gentlemen, let's start blazing our trail!

Not five miles out of town, we ran into our first problem.

http://indolents.com/oregontrail/7-blueriver.jpg

I walked up to the bank of the river and put a hand to my chin in thought. There was only one answer, but it would not be I who made the decision.

The Blue River awaits. Do we ford or do we float?

[The Dark Fiddler]

Float, of course. There's vampires on the bottom of the river.

[xp194]

Ford that Mofo'ing river! FORD IT NOW!

[chiasaur11]

Float, of course. There's vampires on the bottom of the river.

Coward.

(Chicken noises)

[The Dark Fiddler]

Coward.

(Chicken noises)

You're right, we should ford the river and run over the blood-suckers.

[Pie Guy]

No, don't go over the river, shoot it until it dies so we have water!

[Zarah]

I ordered the oxen straight into the depths of the river, and while things started off good, we ended with disaster.

http://indolents.com/oregontrail/7-blueriver-swamped.jpg

We had lost a chicken and 40 bullets, among some other things. This was not a good start to our journey. However, we pressed onward another 5 miles and came upon Westport.

http://indolents.com/oregontrail/8-westport.jpg

What shall be our next step?

EDIT:
No, don't go over the river, shoot it until it dies so we have water!
Well, we lost some bullets into the river anyway. That counts, I guess.

[chiasaur11]

No, don't go over the river, shoot it until it dies so we have water!

This sounds entirely sensible.

Do it.

[Thane of Fife]

I started as a butcher, so I have cooking as a skill.

Right, but I meant, did you buy any other skills? I'm guessing not.

[Zarah]

Right, but I meant, did you buy any other skills? I'm guessing not.

I did not. I suppose that could have made things a little more interesting, but I'm doubting any extra skills are going to spare us from death at this point. :smalltongue:

[ZeroNumerous]

A) Look for someone
2) Sell him a chicken
θ) Shoot him for stealing our chicken
?) ???
Profit) Profit.

[The Dark Fiddler]

I did not. I suppose that could have made things a little more interesting, but I'm doubting any extra skills are going to spare us from death at this point. :smalltongue:

I'll say! Damned river, taking our chickens...

Move forward, in loving memory of Sir Clucky the First!


A) Look for someone
2) Sell him a chicken
θ) Shoot him for stealing our chicken
?) ???
Profit) Profit.

If Oregon Trail let you do this, it would become the greatest game ever.

[Pie Guy]

A) Look for someone
2) Sell him a chicken
θ) Shoot him for stealing our chicken
?) ???
Profit) Profit.

What do we do with the chicken after this?

[chiasaur11]

If Oregon Trail let you do this, it would become the greatest game ever.

Well, I asked a lawyer about that sort of thing. (http://objection.mrdictionary.net/go.php?n=3683046)

I mean, that kind of trick came up all the time on old radio dramas, and I wanted to make sure, even then, that kind of trick wouldn't work.

[Zarah]

What do we do with the chicken after this?

Take it back, obviously. We already lost one chicken to the forces of nature. We can't lose two!!

I spent some time looking around for people to talk to or trade with, but no one seemed to want to deal with me. And since we only had 48 cents, there wasn't much point to heading into town. Our supplies were still well-stocked, so we pressed on.

http://indolents.com/oregontrail/9-newsantafe.jpg

Jeez, another town? It's only 10 miles from the last one? Okay, nothing to see here, let's keep moving.

Finally, we got a decent stretch of traveling done, and 55 miles in, we stopped at Blue Mound.

http://indolents.com/oregontrail/10-bluemound.jpg

We can hunt here, if there's anything around.

[xp194]

God that place is a dump. Let's move along

[chiasaur11]

Find something.

Kill it.

Eat it.

[ZeroNumerous]

Find someone.

Kill them.

Eat them.

Fixed and voted for.

[xp194]

Guys, guys, guys.

We've got plenty of food as it is

and plenty more rivers to try and kill along the way.

Let's keep going!

[ReluctantReaper]

Need fire, mark your passing with FLAMES!!!! or corpses...whatever works

[RS14]

Blue Mound appears to be amusingly mundane. The seventh highest hill in Wisconsin.

Anyway, move on. We're still loaded down pretty heavily; no need to pile on more weight.

[Mirrinus]

The tallest hill? That's like being valedictorian of summer school.

Go hunt.

[The Dark Fiddler]

Just move on. The longer you dawdle, the more likely it is the vampires will find you.

[Flickerdart]

Get going. The vengeful spectre of your chicken will come for you in the night, brandishing lead shot every which way,

[chiasaur11]

Get going. The vengeful spectre of your chicken will come for you in the night, brandishing lead shot every which way,

So kill it too.

You can't just run from your fears.

You can, however, shotgun them.

[Zarah]

Indeed! I broke out the rifle and fired off some rounds. There wasn't a lot of game around anyway, but I managed to kill two rabbits, two deer and a goose or two. I don't really remember.

http://indolents.com/oregontrail/10-bluemound-hunting.jpg

We pressed onward for quite some time without incident. Things were looking up, but as soon as I said that, I was called over to deal with an injury. Oh no!

http://indolents.com/oregontrail/11-rs14concussion.jpg

They told me RS14 was startled upon seeing the ghostly image of a chicken, then stumbled back and onto a rock. They asked me to treat him, but I am no doctor. Perhaps one of you will be?

[ReluctantReaper]

He needs to stay active of course...cant have anyone being lazy out on the trail!

[The Dark Fiddler]

Continue as normal. No help for those that will slow us down and let the vampires catch up just because of some silly ghosts.

[xp194]

Camphor for stimulation. No idea what that is but it sounds sciency enough to work!

[Aragehaor]

Give him a little more rations and tell him to suck it up. Its what his Ma would of wanted him to do anyways.






(the Extra rations are our way of fattening him up for the bear bait he will become you see.)

[chiasaur11]

Medically, rest seems to be called for.

Or the shotgun. Either one works.

[Isak]

Keep him active!

Have him pull the wagons... It'll put some hairs on his chest :smallbiggrin:

[Flickerdart]

If there is one thing that fixes everything, it's "stimulation". :smallwink:

[RS14]

Dammit.

Extra rations for myself, I vote.

[Aragehaor]

Dammit.

Extra rations for myself, I vote.

See? even he likes the bear-bait idea. This proves something. (That the bear bait idea is best that is.)

[RS14]

Actually, I'm just hoping to be fat enough to outlast the rest of you during the inevitable winter spent stranded in the mountains.

Besides, if you want bear-bait, dousing a chicken in honey would probably work best. Noisy, fast, stupid, and less likely to set fire to your tent in retaliation.

[Zarah]

The man himself demands extra rations, so I suppose I can comply with that. However, if any of us starve because of this, then I'm totally blaming him.

Not long after, we came to our next river. The Kansas River!

http://indolents.com/oregontrail/12-kansasriver.jpg

There was a ferry nearby, but they were charging the outrageous sum of $6.60, so we were on our own for this one.

[The Dark Fiddler]

Run over them damn vamps again. Ford the river!

[RS14]

You realize that this river is deeper than the last...

If we must ford it, I say we should tie the Dark Fiddler to the underside of the wagon. That way he can tell us if it starts to get too deep.

[Aragehaor]

Actually, I'm just hoping to be fat enough to outlast the rest of you during the inevitable winter spent stranded in the mountains.

Besides, if you want bear-bait, dousing a chicken in honey would probably work best. Noisy, fast, stupid, and less likely to set fire to your tent in retaliation.

Two things.


A) Clearly we have different expectations from the average chicken-person relationship.

B) One wonders how you would plan to get away after you set the fire. Waddle? :smallbiggrin:


EDIT: Well! this looks like the prefect time for bear-bait! if we can only get him on a large stick in the middle of the river... the bears will swim out to bear-bait and attempt to eat him. Drowning in the process and creating a bridge! :smalltongue:




Slightly more seriously. Ford the river.

[The Dark Fiddler]

You realize that this river is deeper than the last...

If we must ford it, I say we should tie the Dark Fiddler to the underside of the wagon. That way he can tell us if it starts to get too deep.

It's only three and one half feet, though.

And I'd love to be tied to the bottom, but I'm not in this game. :smalltongue:

[Zarah]

We knew what had to be done, and we did it thusly:

http://indolents.com/oregontrail/12-kansasriver-swamped.jpg

Well, at least we didn't lose another chicken. Just our medicine. Bah, we won't need it anyway!

Despite the loss, our morale was still high. A little more traveling on our way and we came to St. Mary's Mission, accompanied by a slight change of background music.

http://indolents.com/oregontrail/13-stmarysmission.jpg

[Starbuck_II]

Visit the mission.

[RS14]

I agree. Maybe you lunatics will feel safe from the vampires in here.

[AgentPaper]

Charge blindly forward! There's more rivers to ford, garramit!

[Aragehaor]

Lets think about this for a minute. Do we really feel good enough about our lives so far as to go inside the mission and be able to comfortably take advantage of these women?...



I do. Lets do it.

[RS14]

Lets think about this for a minute. Do we really feel good enough about our lives so far as to go inside the mission and be able to comfortably take advantage of these women?...



I do. Lets do it.

Unfortunately, they're pretty much all unmaried men. (I know because I had the same idea :smallwink:).

[Zarah]

We entered the mission, expecting to "take advantage" the the women there, as one settler from another wagon put it. However, we were slightly disappointed to see that they were only willing to trade with us, and restricted access anywhere else inside the mission. They had little to offer as far as goods went, and I had a feeling we might need that 48 cents until later in our journey, so we quickly packed up and hit the road.

http://indolents.com/oregontrail/14-redvermillionriver.jpg

Only to smack head-first into another river. How much water can this country have?!

[Aragehaor]

Unfortunately, they're pretty much all unmaried men. (I know because I had the same idea :smallwink:).


Aww...


Well... i guess we can still "relieve" them of any valuables and run off in the dead of night. I wouldnt feel gulity robbing unmarried male priests.. Do priests have guns? Because a new gun would make this day much better.

[ZeroNumerous]

Shoot it! Loot it's body!

...Wait, that's a river. I guess running it over is also acceptable. Ford away!

[Pie Guy]

Shoot it! Loot it's body!



Hey! Stop stealing my ideas!

Shooting rivers for water is old news, I say we burn it for warmth.

[chiasaur11]

That only works for the Ankh.

[Pie Guy]

Just because ONE person tried setting fire to ONE river doesn't mean no rivers are flammable. We need more data!

[chiasaur11]

Just because ONE person tried setting fire to ONE river doesn't mean no rivers are flammable. We need more data!

No, that's the thing. They tested the Ankh. It worked.

As the Ankh is as far away from water as it is possible to be while still being a river, we must conclude water is not flammable.

[Wreckingrocc]

We have to Ford it. We have no other option.

[Pie Guy]

We have to Ford it. We have no other option.

But what if we want to Toyota it?

[ZeroNumerous]

But what if we want to Toyota it?

Don't be silly. We need our rivers to have breaks.

[Zarah]

We charged onward as we usually do. Water wasn't about to stand in the way of our mighty oxen! They plowed right through it without incident. For the first time since we set out, we didn't screw anything up when crossing a river. Huzzah!

Although, one crazed settler did throw a lit torch into the water, convinced it would light it ablaze. We don't talk to him anymore.

Our next stops were Scott Spring and Alcove Spring, both of which had little to offer us, so I ordered us to keep on trucking.

http://indolents.com/oregontrail/15-scottspring.jpg

http://indolents.com/oregontrail/15-alcovespring.jpg

However, it didn't take us long before we found ourselves another river to cross. We had tamed the Blue River just outside Independence, but now it was time to face its big brother...

http://indolents.com/oregontrail/16-bigblueriver.jpg

[ZeroNumerous]

Two and a half feet?! A dwarves from Boatmurdered could ford that thing without dying!

Are you a weak little human or are you a beer-guzzling bearded madman?! FORD! :smallfurious:

[Pie Guy]

No, we should change all our skills into Build 15 Year Suspension Bridges!

And collect all the water so we can drown the animals and not waste bullets!

Edit: I will continue to suggest insane ideas at river crossings until you give in to my demands!

[chiasaur11]

No, we should change all our skills into Build 15 Year Suspension Bridges!

And collect all the water so we can drown the animals and not waste bullets!

Edit: I will continue to suggest insane ideas at river crossings until you give in to my demands!

Only if it's the Red Mage Memorial Suspension Bridge.

Of course, there's plenty to kill and loot on this side of the bridge...

[RS14]

Are you a weak little human or are you a beer-guzzling bearded madman?! FORD! :smallfurious:

We're tea-guzzling bearded madmen, thank you very much.

Regardless, ford that sucker.

[Starbuck_II]

I say Mercedes it, but I have high hopes. :smallbiggrin:

[Aragehaor]

Pssh. 2 and a half feet? Really? if we cant ford that we're going to have to turn in our manhood badges. Ford it.

[Wreckingrocc]

FORD IT!!! :smallfurious: + Foamy mouth

[Zarah]

Once again, we forded without incident. It seemed that our oxen were getting better at that kind of thing, and we were gaining more confidence in our journey. The chickens still shivered over every crossing, however.

http://indolents.com/oregontrail/17-stjosephroadjunction.jpg

Not much to see there. The temperatures had increased, however, which could spell bad news for us.

http://indolents.com/oregontrail/18-thenarrows.jpg

As we passed through the narrow passage, I made a note in my journal. This location would make an ideal place to fend off an army of Persian soldiers, should the need arise. And you never know, in this kind of trip...

http://indolents.com/oregontrail/19-coastofnebraska.jpg

We soon came upon possibly the most boring "coast" I have ever seen in my life. Temperatures were still high, it was rainy, and the trails were muddy, but we pressed on. In fact, I decided to pick up the pace a bit and try to cover more ground. This may have been a mistake, however, since we had barely gotten started when...

http://indolents.com/oregontrail/20-aragehaordied.jpg

Cholera claims its first victim. There wasn't even any warning.

We are down one settler in our team, but now we have to decide what to do with the poor soul's body...

[Raroy]

Ford the body! Wait, don't disrespect the forum member, burial please.

[ZeroNumerous]

Who...? Well, throw 'em in a ditch and move on. He would have wanted it this way, for we have more rivers to ford! Remember always that our oxen are the oxen which shall PIERCE ALL RIVERS!

[Isak]

His body still has fresh blood...

Leave it out in the open to fend off the inevitable Vampire kill squad... :smallbiggrin:

[RS14]

So long, buddy, and thanks for the rations.

[Aragehaor]

http://indolents.com/oregontrail/20-aragehaordied.jpg

Cholera claims its first victim. There wasn't even any warning.

We are down one settler in our team, but now we have to decide what to do with the poor soul's body...

I laughed for a good while there.



Anyways. Just put me in a ditch. With a Bear hide as my tombstone. And i wont destroy you all with my ghost-powers. :smalltongue:

[Flickerdart]

If you leave it, you'll only show them that you passed this way. Sacrifice it to the next river you'll be fording, both to appease it and use the running water to keep the vampires at bay.

[Zarah]

Wanting to continue on as quickly as we could, we simply placed the body aside and moved on. Surely he and that chicken would live on forever in the afterlife...

Although the temperatures had died down a little, we were running out of water. However, we managed to get lucky and come along a small Fort in the middle of nowhere.

http://indolents.com/oregontrail/21-fortkearny.jpg

I explored a little, but there wasn't much to see. There was even less to buy, given our budget. So, we reluctantly turned back to the trail and continued west. That is, until we ran into a new problem. Literally, in this case.

http://indolents.com/oregontrail/22-agentpaper-snakebite.jpg

[ReluctantReaper]

Use the tourniquet/suction!

[Aragehaor]

http://indolents.com/oregontrail/22-agentpaper-snakebite.jpg

Reeeeveeeennggee...



Tell Agentpaper to suck it up.

In my day we didnt stop until we dropped dead! and even then we would just throw the body over the side and continue without so much as saying a few words of respect to the dead! and we Liked it! :smalltongue:

[ZeroNumerous]

Plenty of exercise! If he works harder, his body will fight off the poisons!

(Seriously don't do this. Bad, bad idea. Activity will just increase blood flow and by proxy the spread of the poison)

[chiasaur11]

Having recently read Axecop, the solution is obvious.

Shoot him in the head. With an axe.

Otherwise, he'll become a rattlesnake and kill you all.

[Zarah]

We worked quickly to suck the poison out, then wrapped the wound in a hastily made tourniquet. I wasn't really what someone had made it out of, but I didn't let my mind dwell on it. Instead, we returned to our wagon and pressed on.

http://indolents.com/oregontrail/23-plumcreek.jpg

We came to Plum Creek not long after, and I immediately ordered the entire wagon train to ford it. It was only a few inches of water, so we made it through unharmed, although some other settlers gave me a strange look when we crossed eyes. I began to wonder if they trusted me...


Unfortunately now, I need more sleep. It's been an eventful day, but it is here, at Plum Creek that our journey will pause for the moment. Tune in tomorrow for more hi-jinks!

[AgentPaper]

Ow! Damn snake! Who would have thought trotting through the high grass near the wagon shooting a shotgun into the brush randomly every few hours would get you bitten by a snake? 'Cause I sure didn't.

Hmm, you know, my head feels kinda funny. Was that purple dinosaur there before? OH MY GOD IT'S COMING THIS WAY GIVEMEMYSHOTGUN! :smalleek: :smallfurious:

[xp194]

Personal Journal of xp194, Adventurer Extrordinare


Day 1
Well, We're off. I got clubbed on the back of the head while walking around town by a man who I later found was called Zarah. Turned out he wanted to leave quaint ol' Independece for richer pastures and had 'chosen' me as the 6th member of his wagon party, the other 4 being Anathron, RS14, Aragehaor and AgentPaper. Well, at least we had stupid names as common ground, and we began relentlessly mocking each other about them.

Anyway, not having much to loose, I agreed to travel with them. We pulled up at the general store, and the others rebuffed Adrian's (that is the name of all shop owners now :-p) offer to give us a package deal. I was wary about this, and turned out to be right when they came out with ludicrous amounts of food, candy, chickens, guns and garlic, for, I quote "To scare off the vampires."

Ye Gods, I'm travelling with madmen.

We promptly joined the smallest wagon train out west, on the hunch that if we accused someone of stealing our stuff and shooting them, we had a higher probability of being right. I guess I just have to accept that they're my 'family' for the next few months/weeks/years.

Day 2:
We invented a new game. It's called Team Fortress 2. We used our ludicrous amounts of guns with blanks in them to raid the other wagons in disguise, in search of 'intelligence', or to move another wagon into an annoying location for the others. Team Fortress 1 was where we used live ammunition, which Zarah yelled at us for.

As day broke and the other wagons tried to work out just what the hell had happened, we happened upon our first obstacle that wasn't the other's insanity. Blue River. One of the other travellers, calling himself TheDarkFiddler stated we should caulk up the wagons and float across, as he had heard that there were vampires on the bottom of the river. I reasoned that by fording it, we would run over any vampires in the way. Another traveller... Pie Guy, I believe, suggested we tried shooting the river to slay it and harvest water. General consensus was that he go ahead and try.

DISASTER! The wagon sunk! We managed to get it out again, but not without losing a number of our things, including one of the chickens. We dried out what we could, and hung the rest on the side of the wagon to dry as we carried on. But not without spending a minute in silence for the memory of dear "Sir Clucky the First"

Day 3:
We pulled into Westport, which was, to be honest, boring. I suggested we maybe try buying some more bullets to replace those Pie Guy had been firing into the water as our wagon sunk. Geeze, talk about rudeness. Zarah said no. When I pressed him as to why not, he revealed the state of our funds. Putting his hand into his pocket, he pulled out a few coins.

"Where's the rest of it?" I asked him.

"This is the rest of it," He replied. "All 48 Cents of it."

"..."

"..."

"We're soooo dead."

So, we hopped back on the cart as the other travellers came back from the town, having stocked themselves with such essentials such as beer and beer, and carried onwards. Onwards to Death!

Or another town as it turned out. Though, frankly? Not a whole lot of differance. Sleepy as heck. New Santa Fe. We fired a few blanks into the air as we went on through. This had the dual effect of causing panic in the townsfolk and panic in the oxen and we covered a bit of distance fairly quickly. The oxen ran out of steam at Blue Hill, which was actually green, so Zarah decided to take our small armoury and do some hunting. I argued that we had plenty of food and that we should conserve bullets, "For upcoming rivers." I finished, sarcastically.

But the others loved the idea so off he went and came back with some dead rabbits and deer amoung others. Flickerdart, from one of the other wagons, suggested that we move quickly onwards incase the spirit of our dead chicken came after us. It suddenly got very chilly and there were several nervous glances around. Chiasaur11, from the same wagon as Flickerdart, Pie Guy and TheDarkFiddler told us not to worry and to shotgun it's ghost in the face. Because that would totally work. :smallmad:

As we pressed on, I went up front with Zarah for some conversation.

"Nice day, isn't it?" I opened.

"Yessiree, Wonderful day. You know, I honestly believe that nothing can go wrong tod..."

Before he could finish the sentence, Anathron made a loud "Ba-kawk!" noise behind RS14. RS14 proceded to fall off the wagon and onto a rock. He was fairly delusional by the time we'd halted the train and ran back for him, and not very focussed at all. When I gave him the "How many Fingers?" test he replied, "Chicken."

We asked around the others if any of them kenned the medical profession. The reply was a resounding no. So we debated as to the best treatment, some stating that we should give him rest, others that he should continue to pull his weight. I suggested the most Sciency sounding treatment I could think of, despite not knowing what it meant. Chiasaur11 suggested euthanasia.

Eventually, the debate was broken up by him asking for extra rations. So, not knowing enough to think differantly and hoping for the best, we granted his request, surrounded him with food and carried on us. He still seems a little not-with-it, but happy, at least.

Day 4:
We played TF2 again, and ended up getting one of the other carts stuck in a ditch. After helping them pull it out again, we looked on at our next obstacle. The Kansas river. This time, there was a ferry, but with the 48 cents, we didn't have nearly enough money to afford it. So, we decided to ford the river and restrain Pie Guy and keep him away from the weaponry. What could go wrong?

Goddammit. My feet are getting wet. Now my waist... oh fugnuggits!

So, yeh. We sank again. And we've lost most, if not all of our meds. Ye Gods. How could this get worse?

We came up to a Mission. Not a military mission, but a Christian Mission. The others equated this to Nuns. And Nuns to... well, it's safe to say they probably weren't planning on sleeping tonight.

Frag it. I might as well go in with them to stop them from, I dunno, trying to make out on the altar or something...


So, it turns out that Nuns =/= Ladies of Negotiable Affection. Who'da thunk it?

We pulled away from the flaming torches and pitchforks and came across the Red Vermillion river. There was a toll bridge, but between the low funds and an angry mob we took the most logical and safest option. Ford. Dat. River!

Hey, we made it through with no loses of anything! And no sinking! And we left the mob behind! Hey, did... did Pie Guy just throw a lit torch in the river yelling about using it for warmth...? Guys, I think we need the sedatives... wait, we've lost those. Frag.

After Red Vermillion river, we passed two springs. Zarah ordered us onwards, so onwards we went.

We set up camp just before reaching Big Blue river. I'm now going to lie in fear of vampires and ghost chickens. Thanks, guys.

Day 5:

Beginning to think that the vampires and ghost chicken stories are the other wagon's way at getting back at us for playing TF2 with them. Not that they can prove it's us that're doing it.

Anyway, the river. If you've been paying attention at all, Journal, then you'll have a very good idea of what we did. It's almost become a matter of pride that we'll ford a river regardless of danger.

And we made it through fine. Funny. I'm relieved but also... bored? In a perverse way it was more 'fun' when things went horribly wrong.

We continued past landmarks that appeared to be varients on flat land. Boring. Boring as hell...



Aragehaor is... he's dead. Cholera, according to Zarah. I'm not so sure. Despite the fact he showed no symptoms, I'm fairly certain cholera does not cause all your limbs to fall off, two puncture marks to appear in the neck, and what look like peck marks all over the face. I think we're dealing with murder here maybe... but who's the culprit? Regardless, I'm taking a shotgun to bed with me tonight.

We left Aragehaor's body by the side of the road. I hope he doesn't mind. I do not think we should tarry though. There are so many things the human mind cannot comprehend, those to which we are nothing but insects. And I think they might be after us. The rumors, the death, the strings of misfortune... we have attracted the attention of that which is greater than ourselves. I only hope I get to see the fabled Oregon before it's too late.

We reached Fort Kearny. We had no money, nothing to say to them. Contact with other people would only have brought doom on them as well. We trundled on in silence.

Punctuated by AgentPaper blasting a shotgun into the undergrowth as we went. After an hour or so of this, a rattlesnake apparently got as irritated as we were with this, lept up, and bit him.

We quickly applied one of the few pieces of medical 'knowledge' we thought we knew. We sucked the bite to clear the venom, then stuck a torniquet over it. I only hope we moved fast enough. He seems to be okay, just limping a bit.


I think I've gotten over my madness. I'm now suspecting someone of murdering Aragehaor and making it look like it was from supernatural causes. They're trying to scare us. Who 'they' are, I have no idea yet, but, it's a small train. Smaller now. And at least more rations to go around. Hard to be terrified of elderitch horrors on a full stomach.

We reached Plum Creek at night fall. I say creek... more like a trickle. Couldn't drown an ant in it. Despite this, Zarah triumphantly proclaimed his intention to ford this, quote, “Mighty River.” I think maybe the journey is beginning to take a toll on him, poor man.

We've set up camp again now. I'm still keeping the shotgun close to me, trigger attached to a trip wire across the door of my tent, muzzle also pointed at the door. Ain't no-one gonna murder me in my sleep.

[Flickerdart]

Having recently read Axecop, the solution is obvious.

Shoot him in the head. With an axe.

Otherwise, he'll become a rattlesnake and kill you all.
No, he would become Rattlesnake Settler and help the waggon train fight crime.

[chiasaur11]

No, he would become Rattlesnake Settler and help the waggon train fight crime.

Well, yeah, either one is a distinct possibility.

So shooting him seems to, you know, be playing it safe.

[Cristo Meyers]

How screwed up is the weather that in Nebraska, in late May, it's not even 60 degrees F? :smalleek:

[Flickerdart]

Rattlesnake Settler is immune to bullets, and if you try to shoot him, he'll chop your head off. How is that playing it safe at all?

[Zarah]

xp194, you better be careful with that shotgun. We only have one sheath, and I called it for myself. It may have also fallen into a river at some point, I can't really remember. In any event, onward!

After a bit of traveling, we came to O'Fallon's Bluffs.

http://indolents.com/oregontrail/24-ofallonsbluffs.jpg

Right. Moving on...

Landmarks are becoming further apart, not to mention settlements of any kinds. Not that it would do us a lot good, given our financial situation. We're getting into the down and dirty part of the journey now. Literally, since we're running through deep sand...

Also, xp194 has been muttering about people killing him in his sleep a lot lately. However, he may not need anyone to kill him at all. Mother nature might well handle that herself.

http://indolents.com/oregontrail/25-xp194-badcold.jpg

[chiasaur11]

Rattlesnake Settler is immune to bullets, and if you try to shoot him, he'll chop your head off. How is that playing it safe at all?

That's why you use the axe gun. Duh.

[xp194]

*ACHOOO*

Neeb more fluids, please...

[Starbuck_II]

Administer olive oil! Nothing that can't help.

[Aragehaor]

Administer olive oil! Nothing that can't help.


I agree whole-heartily with this suggestion.


Olive oil cures all.

[RS14]

Administer olive oil! Nothing that can't help.

I second this. xp194 drinks nothing but olive oil from here on out.

[xp194]

habe you guys so much....

*WACHOO*

[Zarah]

When we asked him, xp194 requested that he be given more fluids. The rest of the wagon train agreed. We did indeed give him more fluids. We gave him olive oil.

Moving on, we soon came to another river, although given it's gargantuan width, we might as well have called it the ocean.

http://indolents.com/oregontrail/26-southplatteriver.jpg

We needed a game plan.

[xp194]

Do you really have to ask!

Ford, ho!

[Starbuck_II]

I say look around first, but then Ford it.

[Pie Guy]

No, we should dig a trench going to Oregan so we can just ford the rest of the way.

[The Dark Fiddler]

This river is too shallow to ford. You must float across!

[Zarah]

"Onward!" I screamed, as the oxen pushed into the waters. Some of the other settlers were nervous about the presence of any spectral chickens, but by the grace of some divine intervention, we managed to ford the river without a single loss. However, we didn't make it much further before we encountered something none of us were ready for.

One of the women came running up to me, screaming and yelling for me to get to the front of the train. When I arrived, I had to remove my sunglasses in awe (there were sunglasses in 1848, right?). It was... A hill.

http://indolents.com/oregontrail/27-californiahill.jpg

"Mother of God..."

[chiasaur11]

Hunt.

That hill looks like good eating.

[RS14]

Ropes and chains. Preferably on my companions.

[xp194]

Ford that hill!

[Starbuck_II]

Check Hill's Conditions, but likely double-team (aka Ford) that Hill!

[Zarah]

Somehow, the oxen pressed on, even past the hill that I thought for sure would bring us to our knees. I was beginning to get the feeling that we were running out of luck, given how well things had been going...

...Aside from Aragehaor dying and all.

However, what goes up must come down. And our moment of truth had arrived.

http://indolents.com/oregontrail/28-windlasshill.jpg

Would our luck hold out?

[RS14]

Again, ropes and chains.

[Trobby]

Frankly, I think you should wait for conditions to improve. Erosion should wear that hill down to a plateau within the next 200 years or so.

[ZeroNumerous]

Again, ropes and chains.

+1 to Ropes and Chains! They'll help our traction on this treacherous hill.

[Aragehaor]

...Aside from Aragehaor dying and all.
:smalltongue:



However, what goes up must come down. And our moment of truth had arrived.

http://indolents.com/oregontrail/28-windlasshill.jpg

Would our luck hold out?

Guys. were missing the big picture here. Look. who had a cold? Right. Hes nothing but deadweight. lighten the load by throwing him off! by lightening the load you will have nothing but glorious life and women!

[DarknessLord]

Lock the wheels, cause everyone knows that sliding down the hill is much safer then rolling down it.

[AgentPaper]

I'll sit in the front of the wagon and shoot off my shotgun to slow us down! And to kill the purple dinosaurs!

[xp194]

:smalltongue:



Guys. were missing the big picture here. Look. who had a cold? Right. Hes nothing but deadweight. lighten the load by throwing him off! by lightening the load you will have nothing but glorious life and women!

Excuse me? A cold does not make you a deadweight. Rattlesnake bites and bangs to the head on the other hand...

Also, ford the downhill slope! Or lob everything into the cart and race the others down. That works.

[Zarah]

I declared that we would wait for the conditions to improve. Someone noted that the conditions already seemed ideal, but I ignored her. Eventually, the hill would be reduced to a mere mound, and we could pass over without a problem. She then asked me how long that might take, to which I replied "several hundred years," and told her to get comfortable.

But then I turned around, and the wagons were already rolling down the hill. Guess we forgot to anchor them down. Oh well, onward we go!

http://indolents.com/oregontrail/29-ashhollow.jpg

We came to Ash Hollow. I didn't like the sound of that, so we moved on with haste. However, it seemed that nature was determined to halt my progress one way or another...

http://indolents.com/oregontrail/30-heavyfog1.jpg

[The Dark Fiddler]

Onward at full normal speed! Can't let the vampires catch up!

[Fri]

do you know that they say vampires can turn into mist?

[The Dark Fiddler]

do you know that they say vampires can turn into mist?

I think we're talking about different vampires here. Those vampires are perfectly fine people (most of the time).

The ones I'm worried about are... the ones that sparkle! :smalleek: (Character Development)

[Trobby]

Sparking vampires?

Oh ye gods, MOVE MOVE MOVE!

[Zarah]

By the frantic cries of our fellow settlers, we continued moving as quickly as we could, but we barely made it out of the fog when we were struck with a new threat. Not quite vampires, but bloodsuckers nonetheless.

http://indolents.com/oregontrail/31-mosquitoes.jpg

I was beginning to get worried.

[The Glyphstone]

Shotgun the mosquitos and keep moving, you can't let those vampires catch up...

[Flickerdart]

Is it too late for ropes and chains?

Keep moving. If the olive oil doesn't cure the malaria, then you never stood a chance.

[RS14]

Set something on fire. It works to keep vampires away; it should work on mosquitoes.

That or keep moving.

[DarknessLord]

Don't back down, they take that as a challenge, stay a while to show them who is boss!

[chiasaur11]

Drive away with shotguns blazing. It's your only hope.

[xp194]

Sparking vampires?

Oh ye gods, MOVE MOVE MOVE!

Thirded! LET'S GO PEOPLE, ONWARDS HO!

[Comet]

Get advice.

[Aragehaor]

No you fools! cant you see? By moving on were letting them Win!

Is that what you want? to cede your victory to the bloodsuckers?!




Alternatively, Get out of there as fast as you can firing at anything you think moved at one point in its existence.

[The Dark Fiddler]

I think this would be a nice place to stop and rest for a while.

Everybody knows sparkly vampires hate mosquito swarms, because they block out the sun and prevent them from sparkling.

[xp194]

I advise we fire and salt the earth as we continue. Salt kills vampires, right?

[Trobby]

If I recall correctly, spreading salt forces vampires to count every last grain.

Mosquitoes are not vampires though. Mosquitoes just suck.

[Pie Guy]

This is not a river, I have nothing to say.

[Premier]

Why not? We could try fording the mosquitos...

[Asheram]

Why not? We could try fording the mosquitos...

I think we will need a big ramp for it.

[xp194]

Why not? We could try fording the mosquitos...

Doooo eeeet

[Aragehaor]

I think we will need a big ramp for it.

We could use the deadweight duo as a Ramp. not the classiest stuff but it should work. :smalltongue:

[DarknessLord]

We could use the deadweight duo as a Ramp. not the classiest stuff but it should work. :smalltongue:

Darn it, if only we kept your corpse, we could have used your body parts to build the ramp, without having to listen to the complaining the living will give when we use theirs.

[Aragehaor]

Darn it, if only we kept your corpse, we could have used your body parts to build the ramp, without having to listen to the complaining the living will give when we use theirs.

Its not my fault you guys dont plan ahead! :smallamused:


Still. you could put duct-tape over their mouths, i hear it works wonders.

[DarknessLord]

Its not my fault you guys dont plan ahead! :smallamused:


Still. you could put duct-tape over their mouths, i hear it works wonders.

Hey, I wasn't actually reading back then either, so yeah.

Didn't we lose the the duct tape fording some river?:smallfrown:

[Aragehaor]

Hey, I wasn't actually reading back then either, so yeah.

Didn't we lose the the duct tape fording some river?:smallfrown:

Darn it you guys. You know that you should protect the duct-tape over lives! Now i guess you'll all have to listen to them complain if we ever use them as ramps!


Good job guys way to plan ahead. (Honestly. who puts "lives" ahead of "Almighty Duct-tape"?)




@The Dark Fiddler.

Ah good, then we can still use it to stop their complaining. No problem then.

[The Dark Fiddler]

Didn't we lose the the duct tape fording some river?:smallfrown:

No, that was one of the chickens. Although they're pretty similar, so I can see how you made that mistake.

[DarknessLord]

No, that was one of the chickens. Although they're pretty similar, so I can see how you made that mistake.

Nah, just me being paranoid, I should have known Oregon Trail 2 wouldn't include the duct tape under "various other items"

[Flickerdart]

If they'd died protecting the duct tape with their lives, we wouldn't need to keep them silenced in the first place.

[Aragehaor]

If they'd died protecting the duct tape with their lives, we wouldn't need to keep them silenced in the first place.

Two things.

A) Then the duct-tape could be saved for another day!

B) I was more refering to the wagon as a whole. instead of just the two deadweights. :smalltongue:

[AgentPaper]

*Hides shotgun made out of duct tape*

Can't let them take it from me. How else would I shoot the purple dinosaur-spiders? :smalleek:

[Pie Guy]

You're taking too long to update. Oh crap, we're all dead aren't we?

[The Dark Fiddler]

Or he's gone to bed, as people in my timezone are about now.

But that's far too logical. Plus I don't know what timezone he's in.

[Zarah]

Actually, I was at work. And it seems that the cold xp194 had was contagious, as I've managed to catch it here in real life. So I'll have to make this a quick update:

We pressed on through the mosquitoes, making short work of them. With our guns. Or something.

http://indolents.com/oregontrail/32-courthouseandjailrocks.jpg

Huh, rocks. Fair enough, let's keep going.

http://indolents.com/oregontrail/33-chimneyrock.jpg

Okay, more rocks. This time slightly taller than the last ones.

http://indolents.com/oregontrail/34-scottsbluff.jpg

I was beginning to sense a pattern.

However, as we traveled on some more, we came to a trading post! Civilization!

http://indolents.com/oregontrail/35-robidouxpasstradingpost.jpg

And it was made of wood, not rock! That was a good sign already.

[chiasaur11]

Sell the sick into slavery to fund bacon purchases.

It only makes sense.

[DwarvenExodus]

Shoot em'! Shoot em' all!

[RS14]

Sell the sick into slavery to fund bacon purchases.

It only makes sense.

Well, it is 1848...

We've got enough money for 12lbs of bacon, at least at the markets back east.

Probably this merchant will mark up prices, though. Perhaps there is some other currency he speaks. The currency of violence?

[Aragehaor]

Well, it is 1848...

We've got enough money for 12lbs of bacon, at least at the markets back east.

Probably this merchant will mark up prices, though. Perhaps there is some other currency he speaks. The currency of violence?

what, Are we having a bake sale here cupcake?(:smalltongue:) When one guy stands between you. and delicious bacon you dont use threaten him to lower the price. You Shoot him in the head. Twice.

Then your free to steal all the bacony goodness and other such stuff you desire.

[Pie Guy]

"A live chicken may cost more than an AK47, but when you get the gun, the chicken is free."
-Stephan Colbert

[Flickerdart]

Scout the area. The rocks may be trying to catch you off-guard with a clever disguise, after their bluff failed.

[Lord Loss]

Ford The Trading post (i love this game...)!

[Trobby]

I suggest you..."sell" him some bullets, if you catch my drift. :smallamused:

...Don't actually sell bullets. Sell medicine or something. Things we don't need for things we do.

[xp194]

We could offload some food. We're only feeding 4 now... and we can always go hunting to cause extinction in the local species.

[Mirrinus]

We could offload some food. We're only feeding 4 now... and we can always go hunting to cause extinction in the local species.

That's how I always made my money in the old Oregon Train games, I remember.

How confident are you in your hunting skills?

[pendell]

Just passing through ... can we get a gatling to mount on the wagon? Actually two would be better, in a rotating mount on the fore and aft ends of the wagon. Get a blacksmith to work up the necessary mounts.

Tongue-in-cheek,

Brian P.

[Wreckingrocc]

Sell all our worthless food and buy more oil. We can't be getting sick here, now.

[xp194]

Biuy evvery wagoneer a set of Swordchucks, yo.

[Zarah]

Sorry for my lull in updating. Being sick kinda killed my motivation. I'm still fighting it off as we speak... Type... Whatever. Anyway, let's continue!

I entered the trading post, proudly brandishing my forty-eight cents with the intention to buy the store's entire stock.

http://indolents.com/oregontrail/35-robidouxpasstradingpost-interior.jpg

"He may have more than we can afford."

Nonetheless, I still set out to buy only the essentials that I could afford. What did we end up with? A gallon jug of whiskey and two pounds of bacon.

We have 4 cents left in the bank.

http://indolents.com/oregontrail/36-laramieriver.jpg

Let's see if our bacon whiskey can save us from drowning. Lord knows we won't be able to use the ferry.

[RS14]

Bribe the ferryman with whiskey.

Or just ford it. :smalltongue:

[Raroy]

Dismantle that shop and turn it into a bridge. Then ford the river anyway.

[Zarah]

The oxen started into the river, and I knew our luck would hold.

http://indolents.com/oregontrail/36-laramieriver-swamped.jpg

"Well, at least we can drink ourselves stupid. I guess we traded the last few pennies we had for something worth while, at least!"

http://indolents.com/oregontrail/36-laramieriver-swampedcloseup.jpg

"FFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUU—"

The rest of the trip to Fort John was quiet.

http://indolents.com/oregontrail/37-fortjohn.jpg

I think the others knew that our luck was beginning to run out.

[Flickerdart]

Clearly, Xom has found you wanting. You must sack the fort in his honour to restore your standing.

[Trobby]

How far are we from Oregon now anyway? It's been awhile, but judging by my wildly inaccurate internal map from the original Oregon Trail, I suspect we should be about negative two hundred miles from there now. Which should put us a little East of the Mariannes Trench.

...Wait, this WAS a quest to bring Optimus Prime back to life, wasn't it? I think I might've missed something.

[Zarah]

I'm glad you asked. I've been meaning to upload a picture of the map for a while now and keep forgetting. Currently, we are near the western edge of this blue box:

http://indolents.com/oregontrail/37-fortjohn-map.jpg

Oregon City is on the western coast.

We haven't even made it to the desert yet. And we have 4 cents.

We are screwed.

[Raroy]

We've only just reached boring rectangle state?

Why are you so frantic about money? Truly clerks will find our cause just for it is the one laid with bullets! (Aren't there less trading spots in the west anyway?)

[Zarah]

(Aren't there less trading spots in the west anyway?)

Yes, but it's also the part where the game starts to utterly fall apart. Seriously, the real desert will make or break this wagon train. If we can somehow survive, then Oregon City will bow to us as they would to gods.

[Isak]

Yes, but it's also the part where the game starts to utterly fall apart. Seriously, the real desert will make or break this wagon train. If we can somehow survive, then Oregon City will bow to us as they would to gods.

They better start practicing their bowing...

Because we will FORD THAT DESERT! HARDER THAN IT'S EVER BEEN FORDED BEFORE!

[chiasaur11]

Fort Kearney?

We're near Lone Ranger territory, looks like.

Which would be what's known as a last, slim chance.

[Zarah]

I explored the interiors of the fort a little, but they didn't have anything to offer us, so we quickly moved on. Not long after, we arrived at Register Cliff.

http://indolents.com/oregontrail/38-registercliff.jpg

There were some things scribbled on the walls of the rock, which we eventually managed to decipher as "Username" and "Password." We weren't sure what it meant, so we pressed on.

http://indolents.com/oregontrail/39-ayersnaturalbridge.jpg

Our arrival at Ayers Natural Bridge was uneventful, aside from my disappointment that we wouldn't have to ford the river.

We did anyway.

http://indolents.com/oregontrail/40-northplatteriver.jpg

Only to come to another. No bridge for us this time, although there was a ferry. Three dollars, hah!

[Pie Guy]

Ford!

Do it.

[Starbuck_II]

What does Chaulking do?
We tried Fording...what not try the mini-Ford?

[Aragehaor]

Caulk the wagons and float! NOTHING WILL STOP THE BOAT WAGON ARMADA!

[xp194]

We've forded every river so far! We can make it!

[Flickerdart]

Caulking is a waste of your time under 3.5 feet. Ford that sucker. With bullets.

[Zarah]

We pushed on through, and the river gave little resistance. Things were going well.

Until I heard the bark of another wagon's dog.

http://indolents.com/oregontrail/41-strangersahead.jpg

Someone was coming.

[The Dark Fiddler]

Oh crap. Oh crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap.

It's the Slender Man. We're screwed. No use running. Just watch. Wait and watch. And hope it isn't too painful.

[chiasaur11]

I told you to call for the Lone Ranger.

Too late now, I suppose.

[Zarah]

Also, a health update. It seems xp194's cold came back from retirement without notifying anyone. This time, with a vengeance.

xp194 is in "fair" health and suffering from: coughing; sneezing; fever; runny nose; headaches; sore throat

Everyone else is in "good" health. Aside from Aragehaor. Who is still dead.
EDIT: At least, we're assuming he is. Nobody actually went back and checked.

[Zarah]

I ordered everyone to stop and wait. We'd see what these strangers had up their sleeves...

http://indolents.com/oregontrail/41-strangersahead-betterthanexpected.jpg

"...Oh."

They just wanted to trail along with us and hopefully find their way back home. I agreed, under the condition that they weren't vampires. They seemed fairly sure of it, so I welcomed them into the wagon train.

http://indolents.com/oregontrail/42-mormonferrytradingpost.jpg

"Looks kinda run-down. Screw it, he doesn't need our money!"

http://indolents.com/oregontrail/43-emigrantgap.jpg

"Lousy emigrants. Let's keep moving."

http://indolents.com/oregontrail/44-willowsprings.jpg

We forded the springs with haste, but we had just made it a few steps when I received word from another settler.

http://indolents.com/oregontrail/45-animalsexhausted.jpg


Also, xp194's health has dropped to "poor."

[Aragehaor]

lighten the load by tossing xp's body overboard.

[xp194]

I'm not dead yet! Let's stop and rest awhile. Play Team Fortress 2 with the newbies, have a break from our relentless assault on the west.

[Isak]

Let's rest... There's no animal cruelty on this Wagon! We've already blasphemed by losing the Chicken... :smallfrown:

[The Dark Fiddler]

Let's rest... There's no animal cruelty on this Wagon! We've already blasphemed by losing the Chicken... :smallfrown:

This man speaks the truth. We may be insane, but dammit we respect animals!

Edit: Except when we hunt. But then we do it respectfully!

[Starbuck_II]

Double team because everyone loves threesomes. Well, unless it involves a human and those 2 mindflayers...then again 1/2 Illithid template. :smallwink:

[Zarah]

As a bit of a change of pace, we actually took a moment to stop and rest. But only for 1 day. We couldn't afford to lose any more time sitting around than that!

Next up was Independence Rock! How exciting!

http://indolents.com/oregontrail/46-independencerock.jpg

A rock named after a town we left in the dust 819 miles ago. Moving on...

http://indolents.com/oregontrail/47-devilsgate.jpg

"Hmm... Looks legit to me," I said as the wind howled past my ears like the shrieks of several demons.

We kept traveling, eventually coming to more rocks that the other settlers felt the need to point out. I just ordered everyone to keep moving. I had seen enough rocks by then.

http://indolents.com/oregontrail/48-splitrock.jpg

http://indolents.com/oregontrail/49-threecrossings.jpg

But finally, we came to something a little more interesting.

http://indolents.com/oregontrail/50-sweetwaterriver.jpg

And dangerous, apparently.

[Aragehaor]

Do you even need to really ask? Ford that river until it stops being fun.

[Zarah]

Done and done. And we managed to get through without anything getting wet! I think we're getting pretty good at this. Either that, or we're severely testing the luck gods. My guess is the latter.

http://indolents.com/oregontrail/51-animalsexhausted.jpg

Should of known it would happen again. It was obvious that resting wouldn't solve the problem, and we needed to move on. Conditions were only going to get worse in that little sand trap. So, I ordered them to double-team the animals and we got back to work.

http://indolents.com/oregontrail/52-icespringslough.jpg

At least it didn't take us long to find more grass. The oxen seemed happy.

http://indolents.com/oregontrail/53-wildvegetables.jpg

We even managed to find some things other than grass too. It was a pretty good day.

In other news, xp194 is apparently recovering, as his health is now "OK."

[Flickerdart]

Can't help but notice that you're "slow going", which is unacceptable. Get some people to sit on the back of waggons and fire guns backwards to accelerate them and take down any vampires or law enforcement that's been tailing you.

[RS14]

Collect vegetables. And by vegetables, I mean animals. And by collect, I mean shoot.

Rargh, Meat!

[Aragehaor]

Collect vegetables. And by vegetables, I mean animals. And by collect, I mean shoot.

Rargh, Meat!


This is a wise man. im sorry i ever considered using you as a ramp.

[Trobby]

Collect vegetables. And by vegetables, I mean animals. And by collect, I mean shoot.

Rargh, Meat!

I second this notion. What's better than potatoes? MEAT and potatoes! And seriously, when was the last time we had a good hunt? I want me some buffalo meat!


...Wait, am I even on this wagon?

[Isak]

I second this notion. What's better than potatoes? MEAT and potatoes! And seriously, when was the last time we had a good hunt? I want me some buffalo meat!


...Wait, am I even on this wagon?

I'm not either... but the entertainment with all the Vampires and Fording and Shooting of random things is far better than on my Wagon! We've only got sticks and rocks over there...

[Zarah]

...Wait, am I even on this wagon?

Does it matter?

...Nope!


I ordered the wagons to keep moving, but gather what they could. I didn't want to slow down too much for vegetables. I don't trust 'em.

I was going to go hunt, but realized that we had driven right up into a bit of a hard spot. Specifically, this one:

http://indolents.com/oregontrail/54-rockyridge.jpg

We might be in for some trouble.

[Isak]

FORDTHEHILLFORDTHEHILLFORDTHEHILL!

I mean... Double team it! I'll hit it from the flank! :smallfurious:

[ZeroNumerous]

Use ropes and chains! It'll help our traction in this sandy and dry climate!

[toasty]

*jumps in*

I like using ropes and chains.

oh, and btw this LP is really entertaining. I love Oregon Trail, A LOT.

[RS14]

http://i235.photobucket.com/albums/ee241/RS14_photo/album-be-a-man.jpg


--




This is a wise man. im sorry i ever considered using you as a ramp.

Mind if I sig this?

[Aragehaor]

http://i235.photobucket.com/albums/ee241/RS14_photo/album-be-a-man.jpg


--





Mind if I sig this?

Sure go ahead.




On-topic. use the ropes and chains. Thats all there good for next to capturing random strangers animals!

[Trobby]

We had ropes and chains this whole time? Damn, we should use them!

[The Glyphstone]

A very entertaining journey so far, even if some idiot with a rag tied over his face keeps running up to me, asking for medicine, then clubbing me over the head with a piece of wood and shouting "FYI I AM A SPY" then running away...

[Zarah]

We used our rope to start up the hill. I'm not sure how exactly, but someone was doing something, and it seemed to be working.

http://indolents.com/oregontrail/54-rockyridge-tipped.jpg

Until we tipped our wagon. Once we got it upright, I went through the supplies to see if we had everything. We seemed to be missing a set of clothes, which was strange, being that they simply fell into the dirt. They could have been washed and put back in the wagon, yet the other settlers reported them as "lost."

I suspect they stole them.

Oh, and RS14 managed to sprain his wrist, but I couldn't be bothered with such trivial things.

http://indolents.com/oregontrail/54-rockyridge-sprainedwrist.jpg


Good work, guys. This is the last time we do things logically. :smallannoyed:

[Aragehaor]

We used our rope to start up the hill. I'm not sure how exactly, but someone was doing something, and it seemed to be working.

http://indolents.com/oregontrail/54-rockyridge-tipped.jpg
i dont really see a problem he- bullets? BULLETS??? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



Until we tipped our wagon. Once we got it upright, I went through the supplies to see if we had everything. We seemed to be missing a set of clothes, which was strange, being that they simply fell into the dirt. They could have been washed and put back in the wagon, yet the other settlers reported them as "lost."

I suspect they stole them.

Oh, and RS14 managed to sprain his wrist, but I couldn't be bothered with such trivial things.

http://indolents.com/oregontrail/54-rockyridge-sprainedwrist.jpg
Psssh. only one sprained wrist? nothing alcohol wont cure..


Good work, guys. This is the last time we do things logically. :smallannoyed:

Your right! i changed my mind! make him exercise the joint! its bound to work!

[The Dark Fiddler]

Your right! i changed my mind! make him exercise the joint! its bound to work!

No, he must be punished for his insolence. Do not allow him to use it at all.

[Rustic Dude]

Just red all the LP, and it sure makes the game appear good and funny.


Also: FORD the wrist.

[Flickerdart]

FORD IT. Soak in water.

[xp194]

Yay! Now they'll have to stop pouring Olive Oil down my throat!

Also, Alcohol os always the answer. After Fording, of course.

[Zenos]

I third the notion of FORD IT.

[RS14]

Oh, and RS14 managed to sprain his wrist, but I couldn't be bothered with such trivial things.

http://indolents.com/oregontrail/54-rockyridge-sprainedwrist.jpg


Wow, something I've actually been trained to handle. :smallconfused:

Immobilize it. The splint should extend to the bone on either side of the affected area, thus up the forearm and down along the hand. Pad the splint with something soft to avoid chafing, Tighten it and check it frequently to loosen, as may be necessary due to swelling.

[The Glyphstone]

Wow, something I've actually been trained to handle. :smallconfused:

Immobilize it. The splint should extend to the bone on either side of the affected area, thus up the forearm and down along the hand. Pad the splint with something soft to avoid chafing, Tighten it and check it frequently to loosen, as may be necessary due to swelling.

Let's hope you can do it one-handed, otherwise that wrist is getting FORDED.

[Zarah]

Wow, something I've actually been trained to handle. :smallconfused:

Immobilize it. The splint should extend to the bone on either side of the affected area, thus up the forearm and down along the hand. Pad the splint with something soft to avoid chafing, Tighten it and check it frequently to loosen, as may be necessary due to swelling.

Fording it is. We dunked the hand into water, then ran a wagon over top of it. Shrieks of pain echoed across the landscape, but we seemed happy enough.

Also, we still had a hill to get over. I hoped that maybe we had just run into some bad luck, so got the ropes ready to go again...

http://indolents.com/oregontrail/54-rockyridge-tippedagain.jpg

"Alright, enough of this crap. We're fording this hill. DOUBLE-TEAM!!"

And we passed right over the hill without dropping a thing. I think we know where our loyalties lie now. Certainly not with those worthless ropes.

http://indolents.com/oregontrail/55-heavyfog.jpg

"WE FORD!!" Onward we went.

That is, until someone stopped me. They said that we should stop to celebrate.

http://indolents.com/oregontrail/56-independenceday.jpg

[Trobby]

Fourth of July? Sweet! Break out the guns and let's play Team Fortress 2! :smallbiggrin:

[chiasaur11]

Fourth of July? Sweet! Break out the guns and let's play Team Fortress 2! :smallbiggrin:

Don't be silly.

They just had TF1 back then.

[RS14]

I agree. Shooting stuff is fun.

[Aragehaor]

What. all you can think of is shooting things?

Please.


Lets celebrate by raiding the nearby villages. Wrecking a path of destruction and Oppression in our path! Looting all the weapon stores for ammo and additional shotguns! WE WILL SHOUT OUR BATTLE CRY SO THAT THE HEAVENS THEMSELVES WILL HEAR OUR CALL AS WE- "whisper whisper" Oh? you mean this isnt the yearly celebration of Raiding and looting?...

Nevermind then. Got any fireworks?

[Zarah]

We celebrated! There was much whooping and hollering and gunshots, and probably a few dead animals in the vicinity. Oh well. That's the price they pay for getting near us.

On the road again...

http://indolents.com/oregontrail/57-finalsweetwaterrivercrossing.jpg

"WE FORD!!" And thus we did.

http://indolents.com/oregontrail/58-southpass.jpg

http://indolents.com/oregontrail/59-pacificsprings.jpg

http://indolents.com/oregontrail/60-drysandy.jpg

"Sand is dry? I'll keep that in mind."

http://indolents.com/oregontrail/61-partingoftheways.jpg

This was our choice. It all rested on which path we would take to our new homes. It was the most important decision to make in the entire trip.

...So I went hunting instead.

http://indolents.com/oregontrail/61-partingoftheways-hunting.jpg

At least I'm a good shot.


(Not much happened in that run. I'll just keep going.)

Holy crap, nevermind. Apparently, I'm a good shot, but not good enough.

http://indolents.com/oregontrail/61-partingoftheways-bearbite.jpg

That bear was out for vengeance, man.