Crack Pairings VIII - We Need A Half-Elf Template

[Lira]

**NEW**
Check out The Squickie Awards and submit an entry for a chance to win!

Hello, and welcome to the eighth Crack Pairings thread. If you haven't read the previous ones yet, you can do so here (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=111631), here (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=125046), here (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=129876), here, (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=133747) here (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=136627), here (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=138468) and here (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=141065).

Or, if you don't wish to read through all 350 pages, here's the short version: we have a roller and some tables. You roll a pairing, and maybe a plot device, then you write it, draw it, act it out, interpretive dance it, whatever! Apparently we like this sort of thing.

An Important Note on Rules:
We've received a few warnings from a staff member about content in the threads. Please keep these things in mind:
- Crack pairings must involve fictionl characters only
- They should all be board appropriate
- Try to stay ontopic, there are other threads for random banter
- PMing crack pairings with "mature" content is not allowed

When posting a pairing, please at least try to do something with it. We like it when people try!

Should you wish to roll a pairing, Sgeo coded up a roller for us. (http://sgeo.diagonalfish.net/crack_pairings.htm) If you want that personal touch, go roll on the tables, or make up your own pairing!

Banners!


Image hosting sites only allow pictures to get a small amount of bandwidth. If you could, please upload banners to an account of your own to not use as much bandwidth for our talented artists, 'less all the beautiful banners disappear.

Text:
http://i920.photobucket.com/albums/ad44/ZanarilOOTS/bannermain.png

Zanaril's
http://i920.photobucket.com/albums/ad44/ZanarilOOTS/bannerdurkonxlien.png

http://i920.photobucket.com/albums/ad44/ZanarilOOTS/bannerhinjoxdaigo.png

http://i920.photobucket.com/albums/ad44/ZanarilOOTS/bannerlizardxbw.png

http://i920.photobucket.com/albums/ad44/ZanarilOOTS/bannerundeadvxxykon.png

http://i920.photobucket.com/albums/ad44/ZanarilOOTS/bannervxmiko.png

http://i920.photobucket.com/albums/ad44/ZanarilOOTS/bannervxrc.png

http://i920.photobucket.com/albums/ad44/ZanarilOOTS/bannervxzzdtri2.png

http://i920.photobucket.com/albums/ad44/ZanarilOOTS/bannerxykonxmiko.png

http://i920.photobucket.com/albums/ad44/ZanarilOOTS/bannerxykonxv.png

http://i920.photobucket.com/albums/ad44/ZanarilOOTS/vxsplicedkyrie.png

http://i260.photobucket.com/albums/ii21/Zanaril/OOTSart/icesculpturecrack.png

http://i260.photobucket.com/albums/ii21/Zanaril/OOTSart/vxaandy.png

http://i260.photobucket.com/albums/ii21/Zanaril/OOTSart/vxtsukikobanner.png


http://i260.photobucket.com/albums/ii21/Zanaril/OOTSart/vxreddybanner.png

Funky Goose's

http://i840.photobucket.com/albums/zz327/funkygoose/image3655.png

http://i840.photobucket.com/albums/zz327/funkygoose/a.png

http://i840.photobucket.com/albums/zz327/funkygoose/path4391.png

http://i840.photobucket.com/albums/zz327/funkygoose/path2451-1.png

http://i840.photobucket.com/albums/zz327/funkygoose/Crack.png

http://i840.photobucket.com/albums/zz327/funkygoose/image3600.png

http://i840.photobucket.com/albums/zz327/funkygoose/Intermission.png

http://i840.photobucket.com/albums/zz327/funkygoose/Crackroy.png

http://i840.photobucket.com/albums/zz327/funkygoose/image2786.png

http://i840.photobucket.com/albums/zz327/funkygoose/CrackBanner.png

http://i840.photobucket.com/albums/zz327/funkygoose/rect2384.png

http://i840.photobucket.com/albums/zz327/funkygoose/image2830.png

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http://i840.photobucket.com/albums/zz327/funkygoose/path3985.png

http://i840.photobucket.com/albums/zz327/funkygoose/image4372.png


Discord's

http://i697.photobucket.com/albums/vv331/Discordd/OotS/VaH-banner.png

http://i697.photobucket.com/albums/vv331/Discordd/OotS/VaH-banner-light.png

http://i697.photobucket.com/albums/vv331/Discordd/OotS/BannerforCoffeeIncluded.png

http://i697.photobucket.com/albums/vv331/Discordd/OotS/mavcosplaybanner.png

http://i697.photobucket.com/albums/vv331/Discordd/OotS/MikoxHaleybanner1.png

http://i697.photobucket.com/albums/vv331/Discordd/OotS/VxMikobanner1.png

http://i697.photobucket.com/albums/vv331/Discordd/OotS/BannerforCoffeeIncluded-censured.png

http://i697.photobucket.com/albums/vv331/Discordd/OotS/CeliaxHaleybanner1.png

Saeyan
http://i840.photobucket.com/albums/zz327/funkygoose/image2856.png

rangermania
http://i152.photobucket.com/albums/s173/rangermania/crackp_DurnKub.jpg

Trixie
http://www.imageboo.com/files/95079bzojhkvu1pstjgl.png

MReav
http://i248.photobucket.com/albums/gg192/Cherpet/Avatar/VCPSArtist.png

http://i248.photobucket.com/albums/gg192/Cherpet/Mini-MikoxRedcloak.png

Kaytara
http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y120/kaytara/crackbanner.png

http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y120/kaytara/vrcbabybanner2.png

half-halfling
http://i750.photobucket.com/albums/xx144/half-halfling/banner.png

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http://i750.photobucket.com/albums/xx144/half-halfling/banner-1.png

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http://i750.photobucket.com/albums/xx144/half-halfling/b2VxAA.png

http://i750.photobucket.com/albums/xx144/half-halfling/vxsban.png

licoot
http://i867.photobucket.com/albums/ab238/licoot/MitD.png?t=1265559201

http://i867.photobucket.com/albums/ab238/licoot/squishything.png?t=1265563775

http://i867.photobucket.com/albums/ab238/licoot/eyeoffearandflame.png?t=1265665043

http://i867.photobucket.com/albums/ab238/licoot/soonkillingork.png?t=1265744506

http://i867.photobucket.com/albums/ab238/licoot/MITD4.png?t=1267388068

http://i867.photobucket.com/albums/ab238/licoot/tevoandyikyik.png?t=1267998931

http://i867.photobucket.com/albums/ab238/licoot/belkarVbanner.png?t=1270634637

http://i867.photobucket.com/albums/ab238/licoot/durkonandtreebanner.png?t=1270634696

Felyndiira
http://img97.imageshack.us/img97/1223/lolsword.png

Tables!

Initial Table
Roll 2d6 (or more!) decide which tables to pick the characters from.

OotS Table 1
OotS Table 2
OotS Table 3
OotS Table 4
Minion List
Dead Guy List


Table 1 - By Minion992929

Roy
Durkon
Celia
Xykon
Tsukiko
Vaarsuvius
Monster in The Dark
Miko
Nale
Elan
Haley
Belkar
Lord Shojo
Redcloak
Hinjo
Daigo
Kazumi
Inkyrius
Roll again twice
Roll again and switch gender


Table 2 - By Minion 992929

The Guy with a halberd
Sarah Greenhilt
Haley's dad
Thanh
Julio Scoundrél
Mr. Rodriguez
Horace Greenhilt
Therkla
Zz'Dtri
YokYok
Leeky Windstaff
The Cliffport chief of police
Windstriker
Jirix
Lien
Argent
Yor
Roll again twice
Roll again on twice on Initial Table
Roll again and switch gender


Table 3 - By Minion992929

Soon Kim (incorporeal)
Shadowdancer
Hilgya
Dorukan
Bozzok
Crystal
Bandit King
Ancient Black Dragon
O-Chul
The Snarl
The Eye of Fear and Flame
Lord Kubota
Thog
Julia Greenhilt
Belkar
The oracle
Jephton/Haerta/Ganneron
Roll again twice on Initial Table
Roll again twice
Roll again and switch gender


Table 4 - By Minion 992929

The dragon's hoard
The chimera
The really dangerous trap
Roy's Archon
The Hydra
Teevo
Xykon's zombie dragon head
Roy's sword
The entire Hobgoblin army
The orc chieftain
The IFCC
Durkon while under the effects of Thor's might
Mr Scruffy
Hieronymus Grubwiggler
All of the Demon Roaches at once
Bone golem Roy
Roll again twice
Roll again on Tables 1, 2, and 3
Roll again twice on Initial Table
Roll again and switch gender


Minion List -Made By MReav

Goblin
Hobgoblin
Kobold
Ogre
Lizardfolk
Bug-people
Azure City Soldier
Bandit or Thieves Guild Member
Orc
Owlbear
Troll (flip coin to determine land or sea)
Zombie
Ghoul
City Guardsman
Angel-thing
Ghost Martyr
Roll again on another table.
Roll again twice
Roll Again and invert alignment
Roll again for minion army


Dead Guy List -Made By MReav

Samantha
Sangwaan
Hobgoblin General
Azure City General
Death Knight
Huecva
Trigak
Earth Dungeon Guardian
Fire Dungeon Guardian
Kraagor
Mijung
Eugene Greenhilt
Old Blind Pete
Giant Devil
Buggy-Lou
Isamu.
Roll Again on a different table
Roll Again Twice
Roll Again and Switch Gender
Roll again. If you roll this option twice in a row: Eastern Pantheon and World 1.0


Supplemental Plot Devices
Roll 1d4 (or more!)

Table 1
Table 2
Table 3
Table 4


Table 1 - By Nerdanel

Unrequited love
Love potion
Drunkenness
Snowed in
Stuck on a desert island
In the afterlife
Aliens Made Them Do It (not necessarily literal aliens)
True love
Love/hate relationship
Adultery
Pregnancy (use male pregnancy if needed)
Pink frills and white lace
French maid costume
Police/military uniform
High heels and black leather
American high school setting
Someone is a vampire
Everyone is a furry version of themselves
Kidnapped (By somebody inside or outside of the pairing)
Roll again twice


Table 2 - by Sereg

Dream Sequence
Anonymous Dating Service
Bodyswapped
Meta
Curse
Spell gone wrong
Damsel/dude in distress
Lots and lots of angst (because then it will be true art)
Amnesia
Mistaken identity
Genre shift
Finding “new uses” for objects
The real world
Geas/Quest
Zone of Truth
Truth, dare or command
Voyeurism
In a playground
Roll again twice
Roll again on another table


Table 3 - by Sereg

Fulfilling an unusual fantasy (as demonstrated in Coffee Included’s V x Haley x Elan with Belkar watching fic)
Arranged marriage
Already married
Prostitution
Concubines
Inheritance of wealth and/or title from obscure dead relative
Class change/multiclassing
Team Evil is trying to save the world from the Oots’ plan to control/release the snarl
Past/future life
In 20 years from current comic
They discover that they are close relatives at the end
Disease
“The whole party is controlled by giant space cats and Xykon is from modern Earth”
Deus ex machina
With the author or another crack-pairer (not in the ship itself, though)
Narrated by somebody
On the web-site
Lampshading (roll again)
Roll again twice
Roll again on another table


Table 4 - by Sereg

While arguing with the author
It’s not them, it’s their players/character sheets/stat blocks/minis/dice (Yes, I know that this isn’t a game, but when have we let canon stand in our way?)
To make someone else jealous
To save the world
Mind-control
Twins separated at birth
This is what the snarl actually does
In a watery environment
While under attack
Because of a literal genie
Because if they don’t they’ll die/get unmade
On the rebound
In jail/a dungeon
While playing strip-(insert game here)
Wardrobe malfunction
On meds
As part of their therapy
With a giant
With a subversion/aversion/inversion/double subversion of (roll again)
Roll again twice


Of course, feel free to make up your own pairings!

[Lira]

Crack Pairings Story Index

Entries for the April Squickie Award

Belkar/MitD by CoffeeIncluded
Redcloak/Miko by Gicko
Vaarsuvius/Beholder by Icastflare!
Shadowdancer/Elan by Taekwondodo
Mr. Scruffy/Easter Bunny by Tira-chan
Tiasal & Family by Water-Smurf
Belkar/Vaarsuvius by Zanaril

----

Stories by Asta Kask

OOTS in Die Walküre
Elves and Ears
Elan/Therkla
Radic/someguyJanineknows
Asta Kask/Vaarsuvius/Inkyrius
Roy/Lloyd
Redcloak/V (love poem)
Xykon/Tiasal
Secrets of V's Gender
Stories by badam104172

Hinjo/Argent
Jirix/Redcloak
Stories by baf

Inkyrius/Zz'dtri
Stories by BatRobin

Belkar/Eye of Fear and Flame
Hilgya/YokYok
Julio Scoundrel/Entire Hobgolbin Army
Therkla/Vaarsuvius
Tsukiko/Jirix
Thog/Julio Scoundrel
Redcloak/Lien/Xykon [Part 1]
Redcloak/Lien/Xykon [Part 2]
Nale/Inkyrius
Xykon/Xykon
Stories by Belkster11

Roy/Elan [Part 1]
Roy/Elan [Part 2]
Roy/Elan [Part 3]
Hilgya/Inkyrius
Haley/Blackwing
Nale/Miko [Part 1]
Nale/Miko [Part 2]
Roy/MiTD
Haley/Belkster11
O-Chul/Haley
Stories by The Blackbird

Oracle/Flesh Golem Roy
Stories by TheBibliophile

Xykon/Miko
Vaarsuvius/Haley
Vaarsuvius/Haley [Continued]
Vaarsuvius/The Lizardfolk Whores
Stories by CapedLuigiYoshi

Lien/Lien [Part 1]
Lien/Lien [Part 2]
Stories by Cire II

Miko/Durkon
Miko/Durkon
Stories by ClericOfBelker

Gender-swapped OOTS [Part "2"]
Gender-swapped OOTS [Part 3]
Gender-swapped OOTS [Part 4]
Gender-swapped OOTS [Part 5]
Gender-swapped OOTS [Part 6]
Belkar/Roy
O-Chul/ABD
Elan/Belkar/Haley/Roy
Roy/ABD
Closak/Black Dragons
Stories by Closak

Roy/Belkar/Ancient Black Dragon
ABD
ABD/Haley
ABD/Jirix
ABD/Redcloak
ABD/Redcloak
ABD/Roy
ABD/Janitor
ABD/Thog
ABD/Belkar/Elan/Nale/Durkon/Redcloak/Jirix/Yikyik
ABD and Thog
ABD/Nale
ABD/Dragons
ABD/Elan
Stories by CoffeeIncluded

Elan/Julio Scoundrel
O-Chul/Lien
Haley/Roy's Sword and Sara Greenhilt/Soon Kim
Inkyrius/Belkar
Julia/Pompey
Pompey/Sabine
Xykon/Roy's Sword
Belkar/Hinjo
Crystal/Vaarsuvius
Zz'Drti/Nale
Shojo/Aarindarius
Daigo/Kubota
Vaarsuvius/IFCC
OOTS/Giant Sand Worm
Mr. Scruffy/Vaarsuvius
ABD/Guy with the Halberd
Elan/Cactus
Inkyrius/Inkyrius/Vaarsuvius/Vaarsuvius
Miko/Inkyrius
Vaarsuvius/Durkon
Vaarsuvius/Elan/Haley
Celia/Haley
Elan/Shadowdancer
CoffeeIncluded/Vaarsuvius
Thieves' Guild/Grubwiggler
Ian Starshine/Bandit Leader
Vaarsuvius/Nale
Haley/Tsukiko
Haley/Crystal/Jenny
Argent/Hinjo/Lien
Elves and Protection Spells
Therkla/Crystal/Grand Larcener
Belkar/Sabine
Tsukiko/Tsukiko
Boots/Sclera
Stories by Cracklord

Miko/Durkon
Inkyrius/Bozzok
O-Chul/Thog
Therkla/Crystal
Nale/The Shadow Dancer/Soulsplice
Tsukiko/Soon
Leeky Windstaff/Lord Kubota
Teevo/Thanh
O-Chul/Chief Grukgruk
Bozzok/Tsukiko/Crystal
Nale/Hinjo/O-Chul/Julia
Xykon/Thog
Edward Cullen/Harry Potter/Raistlin Majere/Xykon/Tsukiko/Lien/Stanley the Tool/Winston Churchill
Xykon/Julio Scoundrel
Belkar/Jenny
Eugene/Ydranna
Bozzok/Haley
Lord Shojo/Julio Scoundrel
Durkon/Lien
Durkon/Lien
Durkon/Lien
Durkon/Lien
Durkon/Lien [The Beginning]
Julia Greenhilt/Xykon
Bozzok/Zz'Dtri
Julia/Roy's Sword
Durkon/Lien
Roy/Sabine
Shojo/Miko
Durkon/Lien
Belkar in Hell [Part 1]
Belkar in Hell [Part 2]
Belkar in Hell [Part 3]
Belkar in Hell [Part 4]
Belkar in Hell [Part 5]
Belkar in Hell [Part 6]
Soon Kim/Mijung
Durkon/Lien
The OOTS in Girard's Gate [Part 1]
The OOTS in Girard's Gate [Part 2]
The OOTS in Girard's Gate [Part 3]
The OOTS in Girard's Gate [Part 4]
The OOTS in Girard's Gate [Part 5]
The OOTS in Girard's Gate [Part 6]
The OOTS in Girard's Gate [Part 7]
The OOTS in Girard's Gate [Part 8]
The OOTS in Girard's Gate [Part 9]

Stories by CurlyKitGirl

Elan/Banjo
Banjo/Haley
Sabine/Haley
Stories by Dak Frostwrath

Redcloak/Haley/Zz'dtri/Crystal/Hieronymus Grubwiggler
Stories by Dark Apprentice

Haley/Zz'dtri
Roy's Sword/The Really Dangerous Trap
Julio Scoundrel/Julia Greenhilt
Stories by The Dark Fiddler

Roy/Redcloak
MiTD/Entitre Hobgoblin Army
Celia/Gender-Flipped Celia
Crystal/Argent
Miko/Vaarsuvius
Nale/Tsukiko
The Oracle/Zz'Dtri
Stories by DarkElfGangsta

Julia/Nale
Stories by Dark_Stryke

Not for Everyone
Roy/Miko [Part 1]
Roy/Miko [Part 2]
Roy/Miko [Part 3]
Roy/Miko [Part 4]
It All Started With A Kiss
OOTS [Part 1]
OOTS [Part 2]
OOTS [Part 3]
Stories by doliest

IFCC/Crystal
Windstriker/The Bandit King
Belkar/YokYok
Doliest/Dracula
Vaarsuvius/Aarindarius [Part 1]
Vaarsuvius/Aarindarius [Part 2]
Snarl/Haley/O-Chul
Stories by Dra-Goon

Xykon/Kazumi
Sarah Greenhilt/Roy's Archon
Celia/Mr Scruffy
The Eye of Fear and Flame/Haley
Roy's Sword/Bone Golem Roy
Ancient Black Dragon/Tsukiko/Monster in the Dark
Haley/Vaarsuvius/Durkon
Stories by Dr.Gunsforhands

Roy/Belkar
Stories by DukeGod

Tsukiko/Jirix
Stories by Elan's Modron

Modron/Slaad
Stories by Elvenblade

Redcloak/Jirix
Stories by esmerelder

Roy/Vaarsuvius
Girard/Serini
Girard/Serini
Gender-swapped Order of the Stick
OOTS/OOTS
Haley/Hank
Body-swapped OOTS [Part 1]
Body-swapped OOTS [Part 2]
Body-swapped OOTS [Part 3]
V/Belkar Spawnfic
Stories by EvilRoeSlade

Shadowdancer/Mr. Scruffy
Giant Devil/Zombie Army
Stories by Expeditious

Bone Golem Roy/Nale
Stories by Eztheria

MiTD/Xykon
Redcloak/Vaarsuvius
Stories by Felyndiira

Tsukiko/Xykon
Stories by Forevernade

Flesh Golem Roy/Crystal
Stories by Gicko

Vaarsuvius
Hydra/Windstriker
Stories by Gimliggamer

Frodo/Entire Hobgoblin Army/Sam/Harry Potter
Elan/Redcloak
Stories by golentan

Mr. Rodriguez/Windstriker
Stories by gosh

Haley/Sabine
Roy/Inkyrius
Stories by half-halfling

Miko/Shojo
Stories by Hijax

The Oracle/The Really Dangerous Trap
Stories by icastflare!

Therkla/Julio Scoundrel
Roy/Tsukiko/Teevo
Mr. Scruffy/Hobgoblin Army
Rogue Love
Haley/Bandit Leader [Part 1]
Haley/Bandit Leader [Part 2]
Haley/Bandit Leader [Part 3]
Haley/Elan [Part 4]
Haley/Elan [Part 5]
Haley/Elan [Part 6]
Vaarsuvius/Sabine/Nale
Durkon/Thor
Belkar
Redcloak/Tsukiko
Stories by Introbulus

The Cliffport Chief of Police/Kazumi
Hydra/Lien
Tsukiko/Roy's Archon
Lord Shojo/Jirix
Durokan/Haley
Belkar/Hinjo
Haley/Crystal
Kazumi/Durkon
Stories by jogiff

Tsukiko/Miko/Redcloak
Stories by Kaytara

Mr. Scruffy/The Snarl
Ancient Black Dragon/Inkyrius
IFCC Fiends/The Chimera Trigak
Banjo/Giggles
Vaarsuvius and Durkon [Part 1]
Vaarsuvius and Durkon [Part 2]
ABD and Vaarsuvius
Belkar/Vaarsuvius
Stories by Kill Screen

Miko/Elan
Stories by Kirby

Celia/Vaarsuvius
Xykon/MiTD
Haley/Vaarsuvius
Soul Spliced Elan/Haley
Stories by Kitteh

Roy/Eye of Fear and Flame
Mr. Scruffy/Windstriker
Stories by KnightMysterio

Miko/The Snarl [Part 1]
Miko/The Snarl [Part 2]
Miko/The Snarl [Part 3]
Miko/Vaarsuvius
Stories by Kobold-Bard

Leeky Windstaff/The Eye of Fear and Flame
Nale/Elan
Stories by Kraggi

Incorporeal Soon Kim/Mr. Scruffy
Stories by Kyronea

Haley/Durkon
Stories by Kyuubi

Redcloak
Stories by Lavieru

Belkar/Vaarsuvius
Stories by Lawyergoblin

Brown-cloak/Haley
Redcloak/Celia [Part 1]
Redcloak/Celia [Part 2]
Vaarsuvius/Zz'dtri [Part 1]
Vaarsuvius/Zz'dtri [Part 2]
Vaarsuvius/Zz'dtri [Part 3]
Stories by lindorm

Soon Kim/Jirix
Stories by Lix Lorn

Xykon/Elan
Stories by Lollie

Belkar/Tsukiko
Stories by Lord Mattos

Belkar/Roy
Stories by Lubirio

Tsukiko/Belkar
Stories by Lycan 01

Orc Chief Grukgruk/Haley/Kazumi
The Guy With the Halberd/Demon Roaches/Hydra
Daigo/Kubota
Yor/Belkar
Kazumi/Therkla
O-Chul/IFCC
Miko/Redcloak
Miko/Redcloak [Continued]
The Eye of Fear and Flame/Haley
Blackwing/Mr. Scruffy
Hinjo/Redcloak
Crystal/The Chimera
Belkar/Roy's Sword
Vaarsuvius/Ciaphas Cain [Part 1]
Vaarsuvius/Ciaphas Cain [Part 2]
Vaarsuvius/Ciaphas Cain [Part 3]
Vaarsuvius/Ciaphas Cain [Part 4]
Vaarsuvius/Ciaphas Cain [Part 5]
Vaarsuvius/Elan
Eye of Fear and Flame/Tsukiko/Hot Pocket
Durkon/Demon Roaches
The Eye of Fear and Flame/Redcloak
Tsukiko/Tsukiko
Celia/Roy's Sword
Dragon Hoard/Yokyok/Yor
Julia/Therkla
Belkar/The Snarl
Stories by MagicianMan5

Shadowdancer/Soul Splices
Haley/Vaarsuvius
Stories by Malkar Grumbo

Miko/Tsukiko [Chapter 1]
Miko/Tsukiko [Chapter 2]
Miko/Tsukiko [Chapter 3]
Miko/Tsukiko [Chapter 4]
Stories by Mariel Dragon

Haley/Belkar
Stories by MasamuneSSX

Miko/MiTD
Durkon/Sabine
Miko/Sabine
Miko/The Oracle
Miko/Vaarsuvius
ABD/The Oracle
Entire Hobgoblin Army/All The Demon Roaches
Haley/Roy [Part 1]
Haley/Roy [Part 2]
Booted Wight/Ghoul
Vaarsuvius/ABD/Hieronymous Grubwigger/Xykon
Stories by Meg

Redcloak/O-Chul
Tsukiko/Redcloak
Teevo/Hieronymus Grubwiggler
Roy/Roy's Archon
Roy's Sword/Nale
Belkar/Vaarsuvius
Elan/Vaarsuvius [Part 1]
Elan/Vaarsuvius [Part 2]
Redcloak/Tsukiko [Part 1]
Redcloak/Tsukiko [Part 2]
Redcloak/Tsukiko [Part 3]
Redcloak/The Snarl
Miko/Haley
Jeff/Hilgya
Vaarsuvius/Aarindarius
Vaarsuvius/Everyone [Part 2]
Kazumi/IFCC
Stories by Metalhead

Roy/Julia
Stories by mizzim

Haley/Nale
ABD/Miko
Stories by Monzach

Yokyok/Kobold Girl
Redcloak/Jirix
Bureaucratic Deva
Stories by Moofin Bard

Therkla/Diago/Lien/Crystal/The Hydra
Mr. Scruffy/Belkar
Mr. Scruffy/Belkar [Continued]
Stories by Moon_Called

Haley/The Oracle
Stories by MReav

Tsukiko/Flesh Golem Roy
Lord Shojo/Belkar
Stories by Mr. Cales

Nale/Eastern Pantheon
Girard/Soon
Stories by NamonakiRei

The Snarl/Roy
Sarah Greenhilt/O-Chul
Miko/Oracle
Stories by Nathander

Celia/Thog
Lien/Hobgoblin Army
Daigo/Yokyok
Miko/Therka [Part 1]
Miko/Therka [Part 2]
Miko/Therka [Part 3]
Miko/Therka [Part 4]
Miko/Therka [Part 5]
Stories by NemoUtopia

Vaarsuvius/Black Dragon
Nale's next crazy plot to destroy the OotS
Therkla/Thog
Tsukiko's Ploy
Tsukiko/Xykon [Part 1]
Tsukiko/Xykon [Part 2]
Miko's Heart, Beyond Lawful Good
Miko/Matsumo [Part 1]
Miko/Matsumo [Part 2]
Miko/Karla [Part 3]
Miko/Hinjo [Part 4]
Miko/Shojo [Part 5]
Miko/IFCC [Part 6]
Miko [Part 7]
Miko/Roy [Part 8]
Miko/Kubota [Part 9]
Miko [Part 10]
Miko/Roy [Part 11]
Stories by Nerdanel

Male Sarah Greenhilt/Female Zz'dtri/IFCC
Stories by The Odor

Shojo/Miko
Argent/Razor
Blackwing/Haley
Gender-switched Oracle/Oracle
Haley/Lien
Vaarsuvius/Everyone [Part 3]
Haley/Vaarsuvius
Rodney McKay/Celia
Stories by Omergideon

Vaarsuvius/Inkyrius
Stories by Oooohaloophole

Nale/Sabine's Child [Part 1]
Nale/Sabine's Child [Part 2]
Stories by otaku_lady89

Belkar/Demon Roaches
Redcloak/Teevo
Vaarsuvius/Durkon
Stories by Pid6

Sarah Greenhilt/Hydra
Julio Scoundrel/Lord Shojo/Horace Greenhilt/Durokan/The IFCC
Stories by pnewman

Lien/Thog
Stories by PsychoPat

Nale/Haley and Elan/Celia
Haley/Vampire Shadowdancer
Redcloak/Tsukiko/Julio Scoundrel
Thog/Sabine
Thog/Sabine [Continued]
Thog/Sabine [Continued]
Thog/Sabine [Continued]
Stories by Ronnoc

Haley/Roy
Stories by RPGAgmJAY

O'Chul/Archon
Stories by Saeyan

Vaarsuvius/Aarindarius
Stories by SaintRidley

Celia/TiVo
Stories by Sequinox

Spongebob/Julio Scoundrel
Mr. Scruffy/Dangerous Trap
Stories by Sereg

Roy/Celia
Xykon/Celia
Tsukiko/Horace Greenhilt
Xykon/Redcloak [Part 1]
Xykon/Redcloak [Part 2]
Dragon's Hoard/Jephton/Haerta/Ganneron
Durkon/Death Knight
Pit Fiend/Zz'dtri
Therkla/Thieves Guild Member
Durkon/Vaarsuvius
Mr. Scruffy/Snuggles
Therkla/Banjo
Elan/Vaarsuvius
Julia/Durkon
Belkar/Nacle
Belkar/Crystal
Vaarsuvius/Haley's Personality Aspects
Haley/Celia
Roy/Eugene
Julio Scoundrel/Julio Scoundrel
Thog/Miko [Part 1]
Thog/Miko [Part 2]
Thog/Miko [Part 3]
Thog/Miko [Part 4]
Thog/Miko [Part 5]
Sereg/Tsukiko
Sereg/Lien
Sereg/Inkyrius
Sereg/Vaarsuvius
Sereg/Celia
Sereg/Haley
Sereg/Lirian
Sereg/Sabine
Hobgoblin General/Roy’s Sword/Roy’s Archon/Person in Distress
Durkon/Tree
Ghouls/Belkar [Part 1]
Ghouls/Belkar [Part 2]
Hieronymus Grubwiggler/The Eye of Fear and Flame
Lizardfolk/Durkon
Mary Sue/OOTS
A Twisted Tail
Hieronymus Grubwiggler/His Wife [Part 1]
Clone/Hieronymus Grubwiggler's Wife [Part 2]
Clone/Hieronymus Grubwiggler's Wife [Part 3]
Clone/Hieronymus Grubwiggler [Part 4]
Banjo/Xykon-doll
Xykon/Tsukiko
Tsukiko/Crypt Thing
Miko/Jirix/Really Dangerous Trap
Vaarsuvius/Dark Mistress Shadowgale
More than Just Duty
Miko/Sangwaan [Part 1]
Miko/Sangwaan [Part 2]
Miko/Sangwaan [Part 3]
Miko/Sangwaan [Part 4]
Miko/Sangwaan [Part 5]
Miko/Sangwaan [Part 6]
Miko/Sangwaan [Part 7]
Haley/Zz'dtri
Body and Soul
Tsukiko/Shinji [Part 1]
Tsukiko/Shinji [Part 2]
Tsukiko/Shinji [Part 3]
Tsukiko/Shinji [Part 4]
Booted Wight/Ghast
Stories by Sewblon

Redcloak/Xykon
Stories by ShinyDelusion

Julia/Thog
Vaarsuvius/Haley/Elan [Part 1]
Vaarsuvius/Haley/Elan [Part 3] [Continuation from Discord's part]
Belkar/Matt
Elan/Haley/Roy
Hinjo/Tsukiko [Part 1]
Hinjo/Tsukiko [Part 2]
Janine/Lloyd
Nale/Sabine
When in Rome
[Part 1]
MitD/Tsukiko
Aula/Tiberius/Aarindarius [Part 1]
Aula/Tiberius/Aarindarius [Part 2]
Stories by ShneekeyTheLost

Tsukiko/Vaarsuvius (http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5626418/1/Now_Entering)
Stories by Silverraptor

Belkar/Nale
Miko/Hinjo
Inkyrius [Part 1], [Part 2], [Part 3], [Part 4]
Julia/Celia
Crystal/Belkar
Haley's Dream
Guy with the Halberd/Girl with the Halberd
Kazumi/Daigo
Kubota/Lien
Ceila/Mr Rodriguez
Tsukiko/Oracle
Elan/Vaarsuvius
Stories by Somniloquist

Nale/Therkla
Stories by Sstoopidtallkid

Sabine/Vaarsuvius
Mr. Scruffy/Scorpion
Weasel/Matt
Vaarsuvius/Dragon
Stories by Symmys

Vaarsuvius/Aarindarius [Part 1]
Vaarsuvius/Aarindarius [Part 2]
Vaarsuvius/Aarindarius [Part 3]
Stories by Taekwondodo

Hinjo/Zz'dtri
Bozzak/Mr Rodriguez
Elan/The Cliffport Chief of Police
Therkla/Julio Scoundrel
Nale/Julio Scoundrel
Thanh/Female NPC
Windstriker/Argent
Edward/Tsukiko
Trigak/Sunken Valley Hydra [Part 1]
Trigak/Sunken Valley Hydra [Part 2]
Mr. Scruffy/Lord Shojo
Ian Starshine/The Snarl
Vaarsuvius/Haley
Blackwing/Tiasal
In the Arms of Morpheus (originally written by Water-Smurf): The Musical
Redcloak/Vaarsuvius [Part 1]
Redcloak/Vaarsuvius [Part 2]
Redcloak/Vaarsuvius [Part 3]
Stories by Tatterdemalion

Miko/Soon Kim
Windstriker/Celia
Thog/Ian Starshine
MiTD/Haley
Nale/The Entire Hobgoblin Army
Stories by Thor Person Guy

Kazumi/Lord Shojo
Stories by Tira-chan

Roy/Elan
Therkla/Nale/Sabine
Haley/Mr. Scruffy
Vaarsuvius/Spock [Part 1]
Vaarsuvius/Spock [Part 2]
Vaarsuvius/Spock [Part 3]
Vaarsuvius/Spock [Part 4]
Vaarsuvius/Spock [Part 5]
Stories by TooManySecrets

Roy/Xykon
Stories by TSED

Julia Greenhilt/The Chimera
Stories by waterpenguin43

Sabine/Vaarsuvius
Hilgya/Durkon
Miko/Tsukiko
Stories by Water-Smurf

In the Arms of Morpheus
Redcloak/Vaarsuvius [Part 1]
Redcloak/Vaarsuvius [Part 2]
Redcloak/Vaarsuvius [Part 3]
Redcloak/Vaarsuvius [Part 4]
Redcloak/Vaarsuvius [Part 5]
Redcloak/Vaarsuvius [Part 6]
Redcloak/Vaarsuvius [Part 7]
Redcloak/Vaarsuvius [Part 8]
Redcloak/Vaarsuvius [Part 9]
Redcloak/Vaarsuvius [Part 10]
Redcloak/Vaarsuvius [Part 11]
Redcloak/Vaarsuvius [Part 12]
Redcloak/Vaarsuvius [Part 13]
Icelus
Redcloak/Vaarsuvius
Curse of Phobetor
Redcloak/Vaarsuvius [Part 1]
Redcloak/Vaarsuvius [Part 2]
Redcloak/Vaarsuvius [Part 3]
Redcloak/Vaarsuvius [Part 4]
Redcloak/Vaarsuvius [Part 5]
Redcloak/Vaarsuvius [Part 6]
Redcloak/Vaarsuvius [Part 7]
Redcloak/Vaarsuvius [Part 8]
Redcloak/Vaarsuvius [Part 9]
Redcloak/Vaarsuvius [Part 10]
Redcloak/Vaarsuvius [Part 11]
Redcloak/Vaarsuvius [Part 12]
Redcloak/Vaarsuvius [Part 13]
Redcloak/Vaarsuvius [Part 14]
Redcloak/Vaarsuvius [Part 15]
Tragedy of Hypnos
Redcloak/V Spawnfic [Part 1]
Redcloak/V Spawnfic [Part 2]
Pasithea's Messenger
Redcloak/V Spawnfic [Part 1]
Redcloak/V Spawnfic [Part 2]
Redcloak/V Spawnfic [Part 3]
Redcloak/V Spawnfic [Part 4]
Redcloak/V Spawnfic [Part 5]
Redcloak/V Spawnfic [Part 6]
Redcloak/V Spawnfic [Part 7]
Redcloak/V Spawnfic [Part 8] (http://water-smurf.deviantart.com/art/Pasithea-s-Messenger-Chapter-148341185)
Redcloak/V Spawnfic [Part 9]
Bridge Across the Stars
Redcloak/Vaarsuvius
All in the Family
Redcloak/Vaarsuvius
Before the Storm
Redcloak/Vaarsuvius
In Vino Veritas
Belkar/Vaarsuvius
Claude Os, Aperi Oculos!
Belkar/Vaarsuvius (http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5043788/1/Claude_Os_Aperi_Oculos)
Quos Amor Verus Tenuit, Tenebit
Belkar/Vaarsuvius (http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5140664/1/Quos_Amor_Verus_Tenuit_Tenebit)
Acta Non Verba
Belkar/Vaarsuvius [Part 1]
Belkar/Vaarsuvius [Part 2]
Pawns of the Gods
Mijung/Yutrin [Part 1]
Mijung/Yutrin [Part 2]
Mijung/Yutrin [Part 3]
Mijung/Yutrin [Part 4]
Mijung/Yutrin [Part 5]
Mijung/Yutrin [Part 6]
Mijung/Yutrin [Part 7]
Mijung/Yutrin [Part 8]
Dumped on the Rooster
Vaarsuvius/Redcloak [Part 1]
Vaarsuvius/Redcloak [Part 2]
Vaarsuvius/Redcloak [Part 3]
Stories by Weimann

Jephton/Haetra/Ganonron/Julia Greenhilt/Jirix
Overpriced Apple Girl/The Most Awesome Pickpockets In The ENTIRE WORLD!
Overpriced Apple Girl/The Most Awesome Pickpockets In The ENTIRE WORLD! [Continued]
Stories by WhereamI?

Belkar/Vaarsuvius
Stories by WoolenSocks

Belkar/Vaarsuvius and Blackwing/Mr. Scruffy
Stories by Xesirin

Daigo/Elan
Miko/Daigo
Stories by Yiuel

Roy and Celia's Son/Elan and Haley's Daughter
Therkla/Yiuel
OOTS Jr. [Part 1]
OOTS Jr. [Part 2]
Miko/Sangwaan
Stories by yubel

Stewie Griffin/Thog
Stories by Zanaril

Male Sarah Greenhilt/Female Zz'dtri/IFCC
Xykon/Vaarsuvius
Therkla/Belkar/Tsukiko
Therkla/Belkar/Tsukiko [Continued]
Mr Rodrigez/Gender-Swiched Mr Rodrigez
Vaarsuvius/Zz'dtri [continuation of Discord's story]
Vaarsuvius/Zz'dtri
Aarindarius/Inkyrius
Aarindarius/Inkyrius
Aarindarius/Inkyrius
Aarindarius/Inkyrius
Blackwing/Lizard Vaarsuvius
The IFCC/Zombie Dragon Head
Vaarsuvius/The Snarl
Vaarsuvius/Inkyrius/Aarindarius
Vaarsuvius/Haerta [Part 1]
Vaarsuvius/Haerta [Part 2]
Vaarsuvius/Haley/Vaarsuvius
Tass/Crack Pairings Thread
Vaarsuvius/Julio Scoundrel
Closak/ABD
Vaarsuvius/Everyone [Part 1]
Vaarsuvius/Everyone [Part 4]
Vaarsuvius/MitD
CoffeeIncluded and Haley
Vaarsuvius/Aarindarius
Vaarsuvius/Aarindarius
Stories by Zen_Heart

Belkar/Zz'dtri
Belkar/Zz'dtri [Continued]
Belkar/Zz'dtri [Continued]
Stories by Ziren

Tsukiko/Durkon
Tsukiko/Lord Kubota
Cliffport Chief/Nale
Bandit King/Redcloak
Stories by Zolkabro

Durkon/Demon Roach

[Lira]

Crack Pairings Art Compilation
A compilation of the art made specifically for the Crack Pairings Thread.

Art by BatRobin

http://i35.tinypic.com/2m29wkg.png
Tiasal (version one).

http://i45.tinypic.com/9gh7qd.png
Tiasal (version two).

Art by Belkster11

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v307/LinktheZora/GAH.png
Sangwaan and Hinjo.

Art by CoffeeIncluded

http://i909.photobucket.com/albums/ac294/caffeineincluded/SantasWorkshop.png
Inkyrius, Vaarsuvius and their children.

http://i909.photobucket.com/albums/ac294/caffeineincluded/CoffeexDragonHoard.png
CoffeeIncluded and Haley.

http://i909.photobucket.com/albums/ac294/caffeineincluded/CoffeexHaleyxDragonHoard.png
CoffeeIncluded and Haley.

http://i909.photobucket.com/albums/ac294/caffeineincluded/JuliaBirthdayPic.png

http://i909.photobucket.com/albums/ac294/caffeineincluded/HaleyxGelt.png
Haley.

Art by Delorges

http://img137.imageshack.us/img137/5862/varreddie.png
Vaarsuvius and Redcloak.

http://img38.imageshack.us/img38/2786/mikochul.png
Miko and O-Chul.

Art by Discord

http://i697.photobucket.com/albums/vv331/Discordd/OotS/mavundead.png
Vaarsuvius and Miko.

http://i697.photobucket.com/albums/vv331/Discordd/OotS/VxTsukiko1.png
Tsukiko and Vaarsuvius.

http://i697.photobucket.com/albums/vv331/Discordd/OotS/VxTsukiko2.png
Vaarsuvius and Tsukiko.

http://i697.photobucket.com/albums/vv331/Discordd/OotS/LirianxAarindarius1.png
Lirian and Aarindarius.

http://i697.photobucket.com/albums/vv331/Discordd/OotS/VxHaerta1.png
Haerta and Vaarsuvius.

http://i697.photobucket.com/albums/vv331/Discordd/OotS/VxTsukiko3.png
Vaarsuvius, Tsukiko, and their child.

http://i697.photobucket.com/albums/vv331/Discordd/OotS/VxMiko1.png
Miko and Vaarsuvius.

http://i697.photobucket.com/albums/vv331/Discordd/OotS/VxHaley1.png
Haley and Vaarsuvius.

http://i697.photobucket.com/albums/vv331/Discordd/OotS/RoyxElan1.png
Roy and Elan.

http://i697.photobucket.com/albums/vv331/Discordd/OotS/LirianxAarindarius2.png
Aarindarius and Lirian.

http://i697.photobucket.com/albums/vv331/Discordd/OotS/CeliaxHaley1.png
Haley and Celia.

Art by Expeditious

http://i126.photobucket.com/albums/p81/bluebirdtexas/vandbw.png
Vaarsuvius and Blackwing.

http://i126.photobucket.com/albums/p81/bluebirdtexas/vaarsuviuscoldshower.png
Vaarsuvius.

Art by Eztheria

http://i607.photobucket.com/albums/tt152/Sulzala/misc005.jpg?t=1265505945
Tiasal and Vaarsuvius.

Art by Funky Goose

http://i840.photobucket.com/albums/zz327/funkygoose/Redcloack-V1.png
http://i840.photobucket.com/albums/zz327/funkygoose/Redcloack-V2.png
http://i840.photobucket.com/albums/zz327/funkygoose/Redcloack-V3.png
http://i840.photobucket.com/albums/zz327/funkygoose/Redcloack-V4.png
A comic version of Water-Smurf's Vaarsuvius/Redcloak story.

http://i840.photobucket.com/albums/zz327/funkygoose/path3034.png
Half-dragon child of Belkar.

http://i840.photobucket.com/albums/zz327/funkygoose/Scene.png
Young Roy and the Little Psion that Could.

Art by Gicko

http://img85.imageshack.us/img85/4133/zombiedragonheads.jpg
Zombie Dragon/ABD.

http://img9.imageshack.us/img9/7985/vrickrolled.jpg
Vaarsuvius and Redcloak.

http://img684.imageshack.us/img684/3429/jirix.jpg
Jirix and Diahna.

http://img339.imageshack.us/img339/6753/vbike.jpg
Vaarsuvius, Redcloak, Belkar, and Roy.

Art by half-halfling

http://i750.photobucket.com/albums/xx144/half-halfling/rys.jpg
Vaarsuvius and V's personifications of femininity and masculinity.

http://i750.photobucket.com/albums/xx144/half-halfling/rys2.png
Vaarsuvius, Inkyrius, their children and the soul splice.

http://i750.photobucket.com/albums/xx144/half-halfling/rys2-1.png
Tsukiko and Jirix.

http://i750.photobucket.com/albums/xx144/half-halfling/V3.png
Haley and Vaarsuvius.

http://i750.photobucket.com/albums/xx144/half-halfling/Untitled.png
MiTD and Tsukiko.

http://i750.photobucket.com/albums/xx144/half-halfling/Untitled-1.png
Child of Redcloak and Vaarsuvius.

http://i750.photobucket.com/albums/xx144/half-halfling/Beztytuu.png
Inkyrius and Vaarsuvius.

http://i750.photobucket.com/albums/xx144/half-halfling/Beztytuu-1.png
Vaarsuvius' Parent and young Vaarsuvius.

http://i750.photobucket.com/albums/xx144/half-halfling/Untitled-2.png
Inkyrius and Vaarsuvius.

http://i750.photobucket.com/albums/xx144/half-halfling/rys-1.png
Vaarsuvius and Redcloak.

http://i750.photobucket.com/albums/xx144/half-halfling/Untitled-4.png
Tiasal and Terentius.

http://i750.photobucket.com/albums/xx144/half-halfling/KAYTARA.png
Jirix, Tsukiko, Redcloak, Celia, Belkar, Roy, Haley, Vaarsuvius, Inkyrius and their children, wishing Kaytara a happy birthday.

http://i750.photobucket.com/albums/xx144/half-halfling/c5.png
Tiasal, Tsukiko, and Xykon.

http://i750.photobucket.com/albums/xx144/half-halfling/PNSAPD.png
Plushie Dragon Vaarsuvius.

http://i750.photobucket.com/albums/xx144/half-halfling/ch1.png
Aarindarius, Vaarsuvius, Inkyrius and their children.

http://i750.photobucket.com/albums/xx144/half-halfling/Aarindarius.png
Aarindarius.

http://i750.photobucket.com/albums/xx144/half-halfling/MxR.png
Roy and Miko.

http://i750.photobucket.com/albums/xx144/half-halfling/TxM.png
Therkla and Miko.

http://i750.photobucket.com/albums/xx144/half-halfling/mxr2c.png
Elan, Roy, and Miko.

http://i750.photobucket.com/albums/xx144/half-halfling/hxdt.png
A scene from Water-Smurf's fanfic, featuring Haley, Roy, Elan, and a mysterious creature.

http://i750.photobucket.com/albums/xx144/half-halfling/spoon.png
Aarindarius and Inkyrius.

http://i750.photobucket.com/albums/xx144/half-halfling/vi.png
Inkyrius and Vaarsuvius.

http://i750.photobucket.com/albums/xx144/half-halfling/vxi.png
Vaarsuvius and Inkyrius.

http://i750.photobucket.com/albums/xx144/half-halfling/MxS2.png
Lord Shojo and Miko.

http://i750.photobucket.com/albums/xx144/half-halfling/RxCasM.png
Celia dressed up as Miko, and Roy.

http://i750.photobucket.com/albums/xx144/half-halfling/bd.png
Celia, Roy, Bureaucratic Deva and other Deva.

http://i750.photobucket.com/albums/xx144/half-halfling/wsb.png
Vaarsuvius, Tiasal, Redcloak and V's parents, wishing Water-Smurf a happy birthday.

http://i750.photobucket.com/albums/xx144/half-halfling/TT.png
Tiasal and Tsukiko.

http://i750.photobucket.com/albums/xx144/half-halfling/vxs.png
Spock and Vaarsuvius.

http://i750.photobucket.com/albums/xx144/half-halfling/TxZ.png
Tsukiko and zombies.

http://i750.photobucket.com/albums/xx144/half-halfling/egg.png
Vaarsuvius and Belkar.

Art by Kaytara

http://img179.imageshack.us/img179/2879/vstudying.png
Vaarsuvius.

http://img147.imageshack.us/img147/9021/vredcloak.png
Vaarsuvius and Redcloak.

http://img12.imageshack.us/img12/5314/pris2.png
Vaarsuvius.

http://img22.imageshack.us/img22/6888/royv.png
Vaarsuvius and Roy.

http://img40.imageshack.us/img40/1084/royvcolour.png
Vaarsuvius and Roy (coloured version).

http://img14.imageshack.us/img14/2104/vchild.png
Young Vaarsuvius.

http://img214.imageshack.us/img214/8150/splicedkyrie.png
Spliced Inkyrius.

http://img198.imageshack.us/img198/5536/vmiko.png
Vaarsuvius and Miko.

http://img42.imageshack.us/img42/204/vmikocolour.png
Vaarsuvius and Miko (coloured version).

http://img195.imageshack.us/img195/9318/vreddie.png
Redcloak and Vaarsuvius.

http://img511.imageshack.us/img511/1083/ootspets.png
Mr. Scruffy, Belkar, Vaarsuvius, and Blackwing.

http://img23.imageshack.us/img23/1300/aandy2.png
Aarindarius.

http://img196.imageshack.us/img196/4221/aandy.png
Aarindarius.

http://img682.imageshack.us/img682/415/aandycoloured2.png
Aarindarius (coloured version).

http://img440.imageshack.us/img440/5345/vrcbaby.png
Redcloak, Vaarsuvius, and their child.

http://img38.imageshack.us/img38/8994/vrcbabycolour.png
Redcloak, Vaarsuvius, and their child (coloured version).

http://img513.imageshack.us/img513/3548/estrangement.png
Right-Eye and Redcloak.

http://img187.imageshack.us/img187/7347/tiasalfamily.png
Tiasal, Xykon, and Tsukiko.

http://img706.imageshack.us/img706/6537/tiasalcoloured.png
Tiasal.

http://img521.imageshack.us/img521/3410/tia.png
Tiasal.

Art by Kirby

http://img33.imageshack.us/img33/8592/vaausarvishaley.th.jpg
Haley and Vaarsuvius.

http://img27.imageshack.us/img27/6064/evilelan.th.png
Spliced Elan.

Art by licoot

http://i867.photobucket.com/albums/ab238/licoot/MITD3.png?t=1267358643
MitD.

http://i867.photobucket.com/albums/ab238/licoot/Durkonrunningfromdemonroaches.png?t=1268684212
Durkon and the demon roaches.

http://i867.photobucket.com/albums/ab238/licoot/path5651.png?t=1270597322
Vaarsuvius and Belkar.

http://i867.photobucket.com/albums/ab238/licoot/durkonandtree.png?t=1270633973Durkon and a tree.

http://i867.photobucket.com/albums/ab238/licoot/pregnenttree.png?t=1270664829
Pregnant tree.

http://i867.photobucket.com/albums/ab238/licoot/treedurkon.png?t=1270664923Durkon.

http://i867.photobucket.com/albums/ab238/licoot/Vpuppet.png?t=1270760195
Child of Vaarsuvius and Banjo.

http://i867.photobucket.com/albums/ab238/licoot/redcloakdoll.png?t=1270761932
Child of Redcloak and Banjo.

Art by Meg

http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3536/3878328526_745d43c948_m.jpg
Vaarsuvius and Redcloak.

http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3435/3878617451_1cd23c8772_m.jpg
Belkar.

http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2557/3932510166_c526e4eccf.jpg
Vaarsuvius and Redcloak.

http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2641/3931732165_ee28b67b0e.jpg
Vaarsuvius and Roy.

http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2672/3939118618_44f0e537bf.jpg
Xykon and Redcloak.

http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2599/3942544402_59b0951702.jpg
Redcloak and Vaarsuvius.

http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2485/3953356579_a7620e5547.jpg
Tsukiko and Redcloak.

http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3452/3963417589_a1a6f4c1eb.jpg
Tsukiko and Redcloak (coloured version).

http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2510/3954135652_dcbb26922e.jpg
Spliced Inkyrius.

http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2445/3954135712_8542b56208.jpg
Vaarsuvius.

http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3520/4035798224_c6c54607c4_o.jpg
Child of Redcloak and Vaarsuvius.

http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2781/4061854758_212cd024aa_m.jpg
Child of Redcloak and Vaarsuvius.

http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2628/4151291716_dab0323b09.jpg
Celia and Vaarsuvius.

http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2518/4166659005_d03feb44e7.jpg
Redcloak and Xykon.

http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2788/4282294598_835f3bf4c7_m.jpg
Haley and Roy.

Art by MReav

http://i248.photobucket.com/albums/gg192/Cherpet/Personal%20Fun/Ochul.png
O-Chul and female members of the Sapphire Guard and Azurite soldiers.


Art by The Neoclassic

http://i449.photobucket.com/albums/qq218/Queenfange/OotS%20Characters/LienFiend1.png

http://i449.photobucket.com/albums/qq218/Queenfange/OotS%20Characters/LienFiend2.png
Lien and the Yellow-Eyed Fiend.

http://i449.photobucket.com/albums/qq218/Queenfange/OotS%20Characters/TeevoEvilLien.png
Evil Lien.

Art by Ninjamuffin

http://img62.imageshack.us/img62/8600/nalanh.jpg
Elan and Nale.

Art by Oooohaloophole

http://i786.photobucket.com/albums/yy146/MasterOfThePlanes/Eviltiasal.png
Tiasal as an infernal scion.

http://i786.photobucket.com/albums/yy146/MasterOfThePlanes/g3711.png
The Dark One and a goblin god (?).

http://i786.photobucket.com/albums/yy146/MasterOfThePlanes/g7544.png
Tiasal.

http://i786.photobucket.com/albums/yy146/MasterOfThePlanes/g3847.png
Tiasal.

http://i786.photobucket.com/albums/yy146/MasterOfThePlanes/g4188-1.png
Tiasal.

http://i786.photobucket.com/albums/yy146/MasterOfThePlanes/g4588.png
Tiasal.

http://i786.photobucket.com/albums/yy146/MasterOfThePlanes/g4549.png
Tiasal.

At by Reynard

http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4033/4355589845_21722506fe_o.png
Durkon and a goddess.

http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4039/4357436503_e140cedb8f_b.jpg
The Snarl, Hades, and Persephone.

Art by Saeyan

http://img257.imageshack.us/img257/2563/jpg1w.jpg
Vaarsuvius with a Miko doll.

http://img24.imageshack.us/img24/3189/jpgxwg.jpg
Vaarsuvius with a Miko doll.

http://img210.imageshack.us/img210/5248/guhwhat.jpg
Aarindarius and Inkyrius.

http://img32.imageshack.us/img32/2897/zanaril.jpg
Zz'dtri and Vaarsuvius.

http://img35.imageshack.us/img35/9333/kyrieborked.jpg
Inkyrius.

http://img142.imageshack.us/img142/8849/wtfgo.jpg
Aarindarius, Inkyrius, and Vaarsuvius.

http://img44.imageshack.us/img44/2589/20090910104023.jpg
A wanted sign for Zanaril.

http://img695.imageshack.us/img695/5982/20091211215502.jpg
A wanted sign for Zanaril (version 2).

http://img136.imageshack.us/img136/9130/37792864.jpg
Vaarsuvius.

http://img401.imageshack.us/img401/7391/dsc05772smallv.jpg
Inkyrius and Aarindarius, with Vaarsuvius and Zz'dtri in chibi form.

http://i33.tinypic.com/2coso77.png
Aarindarius, Inkyrius, and Vaarsuvius.

http://img25.imageshack.us/img25/8370/returnofthes.jpg
Inkyrius, Vaarsuvius, and Aarindarius.

http://img40.imageshack.us/img40/7219/dsc05996medium.jpg
Inkyrius and Vaarsuvius.

http://img257.imageshack.us/img257/2923/va2j.jpg
Aarindarius and Vaarsuvius.

http://img17.imageshack.us/img17/9062/dsc06230small.jpg
Vaarsuvius.

http://img263.imageshack.us/img263/1207/dsc06235small.jpg
Child of Redcloak and Vaarsuvius.

http://img22.imageshack.us/img22/3488/vsera.jpg
Vaarsuvius.

http://img200.imageshack.us/img200/7750/vchild.jpg
Vaarsuvius and V&RC's child.

http://img4.imageshack.us/img4/7338/dsc00503small.jpg
Tiasal.

http://img121.imageshack.us/img121/937/pelf.gif
Vaarsuvius.

http://img64.imageshack.us/img64/6765/tsukiko.jpg
Tsukiko.

http://img163.imageshack.us/img163/5153/dsc08108small.jpg
Scenario for Water-Smurf, featuring Tiasal and Redcloak.

http://img32.imageshack.us/img32/5670/vacompositionsmall.jpg
Vaarsuvius and Aarindarius.

http://img63.imageshack.us/img63/7307/screenshot170y.jpg
Vaarsuvius and Inkyrius.

http://img686.imageshack.us/img686/3519/screenshot159k.jpg
Vaarsuvius and Inkyrius.

http://img685.imageshack.us/img685/834/screenshot181.jpg
Aarindarius and Vaarsuvius.

http://img22.imageshack.us/img22/9308/screenshot163c.jpg
Vaarsuvius and Inkyrius.

http://img691.imageshack.us/img691/1875/screenshot182k.jpg
Aarindarius and Vaarsuvius.

http://img39.imageshack.us/img39/1442/dodshower.jpg
Zz'dtri and Vaarsuvius.

http://i20.photobucket.com/albums/b229/krysjez/oots/vday.jpg
Vaarsuvius.

Art by Tira-chan

http://i608.photobucket.com/albums/tt165/Tirajm/Picture003.jpg
Spock and Vaarsuvius.

Art by TooManySecrets

http://img512.imageshack.us/img512/4227/genmorph.png
Female living Xykon.

Art by Trixie

http://www.imageboo.com/files/oxkjoqgfvjhpwoxd5peh.png
Celia and Belkar.

http://www.imageboo.com/files/cckobz9fc5qm975121s0.png
Xykon, Tsukiko, and Miko.

Art by Yiuel

http://img13.imageshack.us/img13/7886/ootsjuniorforumrules.png
"The OOTS Jr."

http://img191.imageshack.us/img191/6460/boysbandpic.png
http://img191.imageshack.us/img191/2438/girlsbandpic.png
OOTS Jr.

http://img706.imageshack.us/img706/9439/introh.png
OOTS Jr.

http://img191.imageshack.us/img191/5346/winterdayootsjrnew.png
OOTS Jr.

http://img190.imageshack.us/img190/3967/ootsjrhs.png
OOTS Jr.

http://img704.imageshack.us/img704/8206/joanfanservice.png
Joan.

http://img693.imageshack.us/img693/9335/tiasalhappy.png
Tiasal.

http://img22.imageshack.us/img22/5145/alexfanservice.png
Alex.

Art by Zanaril

http://i260.photobucket.com/albums/ii21/Zanaril/OOTSart/undeath.png
Undead Vaarsuvius and Xykon.

http://i260.photobucket.com/albums/ii21/Zanaril/OOTSart/inspiration.png
Miko and Vaarsuvius.

http://i260.photobucket.com/albums/ii21/Zanaril/OOTSart/9SMALL.png
Redcloak and Vaarsuvius.

http://i260.photobucket.com/albums/ii21/Zanaril/OOTSart/xykondress.png
Xykon.

http://i260.photobucket.com/albums/ii21/Zanaril/OOTSart/kyriesoulsplice.png
Spliced Inkyrius.

http://img10.imageshack.us/img10/7817/evilmuffingrin.png
Spliced Inkyrius.

http://i260.photobucket.com/albums/ii21/Zanaril/OOTSart/vxi.png
Spliced Inkyrius and Vaarsuvius.

http://i260.photobucket.com/albums/ii21/Zanaril/OOTSart/miniv.png
Young Vaarsuvius.

http://i920.photobucket.com/albums/ad44/ZanarilOOTS/Tiasal.png
Tiasal.

http://i260.photobucket.com/albums/ii21/Zanaril/OOTSart/windstrikerxargent.png
Argent and Windstriker.

http://i260.photobucket.com/albums/ii21/Zanaril/OOTSart/mistletoe.png
Aarindarius and Vaarsuvius.

http://i260.photobucket.com/albums/ii21/Zanaril/OOTSart/dragoninky.png
Child of Closak and the ABD.

http://i260.photobucket.com/albums/ii21/Zanaril/OOTSart/vxh.png
Haley and Vaarsuvius.

http://i260.photobucket.com/albums/ii21/Zanaril/OOTSart/hug-1.png
Vaarsuvius, Redcloak, and Tiasal.

http://i260.photobucket.com/albums/ii21/Zanaril/OOTSart/bahhumbug.png
Xykon and Tsukiko.

http://i260.photobucket.com/albums/ii21/Zanaril/OOTSart/vxt.png
Vaarsuvius and Tsukiko.

http://i260.photobucket.com/albums/ii21/Zanaril/OOTSart/vxtcolour.png
Vaarsuvius and Tsukiko (coloured version).

http://i260.photobucket.com/albums/ii21/Zanaril/OOTSart/blush40.png
Redcloak and Vaarsuvius.

http://i260.photobucket.com/albums/ii21/Zanaril/OOTSart/xykonxt.png
Xykon and Tiasal.

http://i260.photobucket.com/albums/ii21/Zanaril/evilkitty.png
Evil Kitty.

http://i260.photobucket.com/albums/ii21/Zanaril/OOTSart/storytime.png
Tiasal and Xykon.

[Asta Kask]

Yay! Alright people, you heard the lady - keep it Safe, Sane, and Consensual. And try not to stray too far away from the topic; the Sheriff is watching. And he's been nice so far, but even his patience has limits.

[CoffeeIncluded]

Oh boy! :smallbiggrin:

[Belkster11]

YAY!

How about...

(Looks to see what hasn't been done before)

Awww, everyone gots the good stuff. :(

[Asta Kask]

So take a traditional couple (V/RC seems to be the most prevalent, thanks to Water-Smurf) and twist it.

[Lix Lorn]

No-one can see V and RC in any way but Water-Smurf's now. DXD

[Weimann]

My God that's such a load of sheer text.

[Asta Kask]

Xykon/Tiasal (not really a pairing, because that would be gross)

Xykon looked down at the little greenish child that sat on his lap. No, he could never feel love, nor did he have any desire to. But ever since he stole her from that self-righteous traitor Redcloak and his harlot of a wife he had begun to feel... possessiveness. Yes, that was the word. He could not love the child, but he could value her. Especially since the thought of Tiasal in the arms of an undead monstrosity must be causing her parents the most exquisite pain. What a torture it must be for a parent to know that his only child is in the hands of a fiend. Yes...

- Bone-Parent. Can you tell me the Story again?

*sigh* Always the Story. Always the same Story. It seemed to be the only thing that interested her. That and wizardry, which quite frankly made Xykon's head hurt. Still, Tsukiko had promised to take the brat and teach her once she got old enough. Make her a necromancer. Teach her the darkest of the dark arts. That would be the way to get rev...

-Bone-Parent. You promised...

Ah, well. He might as well, or he would just lose his temper and Meteor Swarm her into oblivion. And that wouldn't be any fun, would it? Well, to be honest it would be pretty hilarious but only for a short time...

- Well, little Tia. Many years ago your Daddy and I conquered the smoldering pit that was then Azure City. And just as we sat there planning our next move, who dropped in if not some black-robed elf with purple hair. So she started blasting away and I rose to the challenge, naturally. It was pretty fun there for a moment or two, until I beat the crap out of her.

- And... and...

- *sigh*. And that, Tiasal, is how I met your mother.

Thoughts?

[Lix Lorn]

Bone-parent. Loveit. XD

[Asta Kask]

Secrets of V's gender REVEALED!!! Read all about it!

:haley: I do feel, Roy, that any Anti-Imperialist group like ours must reflect such a divergence of interests within its power-base.

:roy: Agreed. Durkon?

:durkon: Yeah. I think Haley's point of view is very valid, Roy, provided the Movement never forgets that it is the inalienable right of every man--

:vaarsuvius: Or woman.

:durkon: Or woman... to rid himself--

:vaarsuvius: Or herself.

:durkon: Or herself.

:roy: Agreed.

:durkon: Thank you, brother.

:vaarsuvius: Or sister.

:durkon: Or sister. Where was I?

:roy: I think you'd finished.

:durkon: Oh. Right.

:roy: Furthermore, it is the birthright of every man--

:vaarsuvius: Or woman.

:roy: Why don't you shut up about women, V. You're putting us off.

:vaarsuvius: Women have a perfect right to play a part in our movement, Roy.

:durkon: Why are you always on about women, Vaarsuvius?

:vaarsuvius: I want to be one.

:roy: What?

:vaarsuvius: I want to be a woman. From now on, I want you all to call me 'Loretta'.

:roy: What?!

:vaarsuvius: It's my right as a man.

:haley: Well, why do you want to be Loretta, 'Suvie?

:vaarsuvius: I want to have babies.

:roy: You want to have babies?!

:vaarsuvius: It's every man's right to have babies if he wants them.

:roy: But... you can't have babies.

:vaarsuvius: Don't you oppress me.

:roy: I'm not oppressing you, V. You haven't got a womb! -- Where's the fetus going to gestate?! You going to keep it in a box?!

:vaarsuvius: [crying]

:haley: Here! I-- I've got an idea. Suppose you agree that he can't actually have babies, not having a womb, which is nobody's fault, not even the Goblins', but that he can have the right to have babies.

:durkon: Good idea, Haley. We shall fight the oppressors for your right to have babies, brother. Sister. Sorry.

:roy: What's the point?

:durkon: What?

:roy: What's the point of fighting for his right to have babies when he can't have babies?!

:durkon: It is symbolic of our struggle against oppression.

:roy: Symbolic of his struggle against reality.

[Lix Lorn]

Maybe V needs to head to the LGBTitp thread. XD

[Sereg]

I really liked those Asta Kask. They were funny (especially the second). I'm also amazed that the new thread was posted in the middle of the day in my time zone. I actually managed to get in on the first page for once.

@Weimann We've been prolific, but it isn't so difficult to catch up on the basics.

@Belkster11 Well, we've written a lot of fics, but there's no rule against doing an old one. There have been plenty of pairings of identical characters.

Hmmm....I thought that noone had done Celia/Vaarsuvius but I see that Kirby has. I must reread it as I've been thinking that there is potential there...

EDIT:V You ninja'd my edit. Oh well, I suppose you have a point. I certainly hope that I manage humor in most of my fics (except in those cases where I'm not aiming for it).

[Asta Kask]

I really liked those Asta Kask. They were funny (especially the second).

Yeah, well... :smallredface: it's easy to be funny with that source material.

[Zanaril]

Secrets of V's gender REVEALED!!! Read all about it!
That was hilarious and bizarre.

[Aaron]

YAY!!! New thread! :smallbiggrin: *gets out fresh batch of Holy Brain Bleach*

Let's bring out the Half-Elves! :smallamused:


Secrets of V's gender REVEALED!!! Read all about it!

:haley: I do feel, Roy, that any Anti-Imperialist group like ours must reflect such a divergence of interests within its power-base.

:roy: Agreed. Durkon?

:durkon: Yeah. I think Haley's point of view is very valid, Roy, provided the Movement never forgets that it is the inalienable right of every man--

:vaarsuvius: Or woman.

:durkon: Or woman... to rid himself--

:vaarsuvius: Or herself.

:durkon: Or herself.

:roy: Agreed.

:durkon: Thank you, brother.

:vaarsuvius: Or sister.

:durkon: Or sister. Where was I?

:roy: I think you'd finished.

:durkon: Oh. Right.

:roy: Furthermore, it is the birthright of every man--

:vaarsuvius: Or woman.

:roy: Why don't you shut up about women, V. You're putting us off.

:vaarsuvius: Women have a perfect right to play a part in our movement, Roy.

:durkon: Why are you always on about women, Vaarsuvius?

:vaarsuvius: I want to be one.

:roy: What?

:vaarsuvius: I want to be a woman. From now on, I want you all to call me 'Loretta'.

:roy: What?!

:vaarsuvius: It's my right as a man.

:haley: Well, why do you want to be Loretta, 'Suvie?

:vaarsuvius: I want to have babies.

:roy: You want to have babies?!

:vaarsuvius: It's every man's right to have babies if he wants them.

:roy: But... you can't have babies.

:vaarsuvius: Don't you oppress me.

:roy: I'm not oppressing you, V. You haven't got a womb! -- Where's the fetus going to gestate?! You going to keep it in a box?!

:vaarsuvius: [crying]

:haley: Here! I-- I've got an idea. Suppose you agree that he can't actually have babies, not having a womb, which is nobody's fault, not even the Goblins', but that he can have the right to have babies.

:durkon: Good idea, Haley. We shall fight the oppressors for your right to have babies, brother. Sister. Sorry.

:roy: What's the point?

:durkon: What?

:roy: What's the point of fighting for his right to have babies when he can't have babies?!

:durkon: It is symbolic of our struggle against oppression.

:roy: Symbolic of his struggle against reality.

That was hilarious Asta Kask! :smallsmile::smallbiggrin:

[Lix Lorn]

VElan and InkyHaley?
HALF ELVES GALORE

[Belkster11]

Okay. I'll give it a try. It's O-Chul/Haley
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"O-Chul's certianly quiet over there." Haley thought to herself as she spread her cot on the grass. It was a day after they had resurrected Roy and rendevouzed with the Paladins. O-Chul was standing over a cliff looking out into the sea. He seemed unusually stotic, too stotic even for a Paladin. Against her better judgement, she got up and walked over to him.

"O-Chul?" she asked. No response. She walked a bit closer to him. O-Chul didn't seem to hear her. She reached out and lightly touched his shoulder. He flinched.

"Sorry if I surprised you." she said hurridly. O-Chul turned his head to her.

"No," he said, his voice almost broken. "You didn't. I have a wound there."

"Where he was tortured..." Haley's mouth went dry.

"O-Chul, I'm sorry for abandoning you to the monster back...back when-"

"It's all right, Haley," O-Chul faced her. "There was nothing you could've done." He looked down, closing his eyes as if he were trying to block out the bitter memories of his captivity. "Nothing I could have done."

"Hin-um...Lord Hinjo," Haley began. "He said that there were a team of elves headed for Azure City."

"Yes, I have full confidence in them." O-Chul said. "I-I'm sorry. I'm mourning for my fallen comrades."

"Oh," Haley put a hand to her mouth.

"Well, if you'll excuse me, I must retire for the night." O-Chul said plainly, then walked back to his tent. Without thinking, Haley felt her legs moving, following him toward the entrance.

"GAH!" O-Chul suddenly cried out from within. Haley bounded into the tent.

"What is it?! What's wrong?" Haley asked. O-Chul was doubled-over, clutching his side.

"It is nothing." he said gruffly.

"O-Chul, let me examine it." Haley said. "I may not be a healer, but I think I know some first aid. Here, lay down."

O-Chul got down onto his cot. Haley mentally prepared herself, thinking back through the basic first aid the Thieves Guild taught her. She unbuttoned O-Chul's shirt. He didn't seem to resist her.

Haley gasped when she pulled his shirt off.

"Oh, O-Chul." she winced when she saw the scars, how they mangled his chest and sides. "You've suffered so much." She wrapped her arms around O-Chul's torso, pressing her breasts against his chest. She kissed the scar running across his eye, the scars on his cheeks, then the scar on his left shoulder. "This will make the pain go away."

O-Chul didn't resist. This was the first intimate comfort he had with a woman in months. Being tortured endlessly...this almost more than made up for it. Gently, he pulled the woolen blanket over them. He felt Haley rest her ear against his heart, to hear its mighty beating.

O-Chul put a scarred hand on her head, running his fingers through her long, red locks. He gazed out to the stars that peaked through the small slit in the tent. His eyes grew heavy. He tried to keep them open, but within moments, O-Chul, the mighty Paladin drifted to a blissful sleep.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Well, what did you think of it? :D

[Asta Kask]

And following my other song lyrics adapted for OotS purposes, I give you -

Inkyrius to Vaarsuvius (a few years later):

Are you lonesome tonight
do you miss me tonight
Are you sorry we drifted apart
Does your memory stray to a bright sunny day
When I kissed you and called you sweetheart
Do the chairs in your parlor seem empty and bare
Do you gaze at your doorstep and picture me there
Is your heart filled with pain, shall I come back again
Tell me dear, are you lonesome tonight

Spoken:
I wonder if you're lonesome tonight
You know someone said that the world's a comic
And each must play a part
Fate had me playing in love you as my sweet heart
Chapter one was when we met, I loved you at first glance
You read your line so cleverly and never missed a cue
Then came chapter two, you seemed to change and you acted strange
And why I'll never know
Honey, you lied when you said you loved me
And I had no cause to doubt you
But I'd rather go on hearing your lies
Than go on living without you
Now the book is closed and I'm all alone
With emptiness all around
And if you won't come back to me
Then they can close to book

Is your heart filled with pain, shall I come back again
Tell me dear, are you lonesome tonight

Very good Belkster. Very good indeed. :smallamused:

[licoot]

Secrets of V's gender REVEALED!!! Read all about it!


I knew it:smallsmile:

[Belkster11]

Very good Belkster. Very good indeed. :smallamused:

Thanks.

I'm planning on that being the prolouge. Chapter One will open to Haley giving birth to their baby.

[Lix Lorn]

Ooh.
Awesome story and song!

[Asta Kask]

Yeah, I'm trying to get away from the first page without going off-topic - all the pictures loading here slows my computer down to a crawl... :smallannoyed:

BTW, what did people think about the story I actually wrote myself (Xykon/Tiasal)?

[Taekwondodo]

It was good Asta, really good! Sweet that Tia just wanted to hear about her parents.

[The Odor]

This shall be a tread of greatness.

[CoffeeIncluded]

Wowee, look at all the pairings I missed at school! Nice job everyone!

Oh, Lira, just so you don't forget, I did a crack pairing on the second-to-last page.

[Asta Kask]

Stories by Closak

Roy/Belkar/Ancient Black Dragon
ABD
ABD/Haley
ABD/Jirix
ABD/Redcloak
ABD/Redcloak
ABD/Roy
ABD/Janitor
ABD/Thog
ABD/Belkar/Elan/Nale/Durkon/Redcloak/Jirix/Yikyik
ABD and Thog
ABD/Nale
ABD/Dragons

Hmm... a pattern emerges, but I'm not sure what it is... :smallsmile:

[icastflare!]

wohoo!! new thread. workin on mah V/elan in a musical story. I cant wait to see what this holds for the future.

[Draconi Redfir]

dont have time to say very much as i have class in ten minnutes, but yay for new topiiiic!
\
also: SUPER-MEGA ULTRATASTIC PAGE STRECHIIIIING!

[Zanaril]

My God that's such a load of sheer text.

Isn't it just beautiful?

[Lix Lorn]

Yay For Page 2

[Water-Smurf]

I'm going home tomorrow for two weeks, so expect a major jump in updates after a lot of radio silence tomorrow and possibly the day after. My family and friends still need to celebrate my birthday with me! :smallsmile:

[CoffeeIncluded]

I'm going home tomorrow for two weeks, so expect a major jump in updates after a lot of radio silence tomorrow and possibly the day after. My family and friends still need to celebrate my birthday with me! :smallsmile:

Yay! *Hugs Water-Smurf*

How you feeling?

[Lix Lorn]

WE'RE MORE IMPORTANT-(Shot)
Have fun.

[Water-Smurf]

Yay! *Hugs Water-Smurf*

How you feeling?

I'm actually at a pretty 'high' point right now. I'm going home, I had a good birthday, I'm going to have a party, I'm making friends, midterms are over... and, of course, I've got you folks. :) Vive la crack pairings!

[CoffeeIncluded]

I'm actually at a pretty 'high' point right now. I'm going home, I had a good birthday, I'm going to have a party, I'm making friends, midterms are over... and, of course, I've got you folks. :) Vive la crack pairings!

Viva la crack pairings!

I'm so glad you're feeling better! You had us all really worried!

(So you get spring break a few weeks early? What does your school do with Easter and Passover? :smallconfused:)

[Belkster11]

Anyone like my O-Chul/Haley crack?

[Water-Smurf]

Viva la crack pairings!

I'm so glad you're feeling better! You had us all really worried!

I'm just hoping that this good patch stays for a while. :)


(So you get spring break a few weeks early? What does your school do with Easter and Passover? :smallconfused:)

They stuff all our vacation in long breaks.

But I can deal with that. I can deal with a lot of stuff as long as I have time to write and chat online. So, yeah, crack pairings are awesome for me.

[CoffeeIncluded]

I'm just hoping that this good patch stays for a while. :)

I'm sure it will! (Just don't let that game get you down. :smallwink:)


They stuff all our vacation in long breaks.

But I can deal with that. I can deal with a lot of stuff as long as I have time to write and chat online. So, yeah, crack pairings are awesome for me.

Which I'm sure you'll have lots of!

And don't worry; I'll do a better job at what's appropriate and what's not for this thread! I promise!

(God, I sound like an overeager little kid here, don't I? :smalltongue: No matter what, I'll never fully grow up...And actually, I'm okay with that! :smallbiggrin:)

(And I'm sorry to be a bother, but did you take a look at what I sent you? I'm sorry if I'm acting like a nag...)

[Sereg]

Anyone like my O-Chul/Haley crack?

I enjoyed it. Hmmm...once I've finished "Body and Soul" I must do more elf/non-elf pairings. I've got a lot of ideas that I need to catch up on.

EDIT: Lira, plot table 3, number 11 still has to be changed to "in a musical".

[Taekwondodo]

They Said It Could Not Be Done
From the Cack-Pairing Thread’s Hottest New Producer, Taekwondodo
The Love That Should Not Have Been
Adapted From the Page-Searing Crack-Pairing By Water-Smurf
With Original, Never Before Heard Songs
The Crack-Pairing Thread is Proud to Present

In The Arms of Morpheus:
The Musical


(Act One)

Voice Over: In an alternate universe Vaarsuvius has once again failed to defeat Xykon, even if his phylactery has been lost. However, rather than escaping with O-Chul and being reunited with the rest of the Order, they have both been recaptured. Redcloak intervenes, and convinces Xykon that they are worth more alive than dead. In punishment Xykon bans Redcloak from regenerating his lost eye. The story continues…


(Curtain opens. Vaarsuvius and O-Chul in cages in corner. Redcloak and Tsukiko talk)

T (amused): No regen, huh? Tough break
R: Be glad that I convinced him to not kill our two only sources of information on the gates.
T: Why’d I be glad about that? You’re the only one who cares about information!
R: Because I’m apparently the only one with common sense. Get out.
T: Don’t mind if I do, Left-Eye.


(T leaves)

R: Left eye?

“They’ll Never Know”
How little does she know
The pain I have encountered
As going forward to
The world that I have hungered
The deeds that I have done
That the Dark One has asked for
From which I have not shied
For family and for brother

My face and mind are set
My road is never ending
Gold chain and blood red cloak
All power to my bending
No tear shall ‘scape my eye
We shall move forward fighting
Until my work is done
The goblin’s future brightening

Through what I’ve done
To bring the sun
Goblins out of shadow!

They shall never know!


(V shifts in cage)

V (weakly): Neither of us is going to provide you information.
R (spins around, growls): We’ll see about that.


(Drags elf out of cage, protesting, and out of room. Curtain closes. Curtain opens on sparse room. R lays V on bed.)

V (looking round): This is not a cell. Why did you bring me here?


(V tries to sit up on the bed but not strong enough. Flops back on to the bed with a stifled cry of pain. R pulls out chair and sits next to bed.)

R: To heal you. I can’t have you dying on me in the first five minutes of interrogation. (Lays hand on V’s shoulder)Heal moderate wounds.


(V gasps as healing takes effect. R reaches out and cups her chin, with curiosity and disgust on his face.)

V (stronger): Let go of me.


(R snarls, digs in claws then lets go. Beads of blood appear on V’s chin)

R: I’m going to put up some protections on this room and leave. You won’t be able to escape, and you won’t bother trying to. If you do, I’ll tie you to the bed and let Xykon and Tsukiko do whatever they want. You’re going to trance whenever possible. If you refuse, I’ll start ripping off your or the paladin’s fingers, whichever works best. Food will be brought up, and you will eat it. If you refuse, I’ll force-feed you personally. I’m going to heal you until you are at least moderately healthy. If you try to resist, I’ll throw a slave into the Snarl. Once you’re physically capable of handling more than a shove in the wrong direction, you’ll be interrogated mercilessly about the elves and the gates. I don’t think I need to go into detail about what happens if you don’t tell us what we want to know. Understand?


(V glares but stays silent)

R: Let’s see how long you’ll be able to keep the defiance up.


(R leaves room, V slumps back onto bed. Curtain closes, end of act one.)

:smallbiggrin: Thoughts?

[Zanaril]

My family and friends still need to celebrate my birthday with me! :smallsmile:
Make sure to eat plenty of birthday cake!


I'm just hoping that this good patch stays for a while. :)
*starts trying to send 'staying' vibes*



And don't worry; I'll do a better job at what's appropriate and what's not for this thread! I promise!
Coffee, it's not your job to police us. The best thing you can do is to lead by example - or if you want to hone your skills of manipulation - to steer the topic into clearer waters if it starts getting too dark. :smalltongue:



:smallbiggrin: Thoughts?
Musicals terrify me. *cowers*

More!


In other news, I had an interesting day; went into London with school for a college/university conference, and I've found a good few universities that do courses in computer animation and game art. So I'm happy.

[Lix Lorn]

That's a scene, not an act. But AWESOME!

[Taekwondodo]

That's a scene, not an act. But AWESOME!

Oops! What's the difference?

[Asta Kask]

I'm just hoping that this good patch stays for a while. :)

So do I. Say "hi" to your parents from all the completely unfamiliar people you've met on the web!


(God, I sound like an overeager little kid here, don't I? :smalltongue: No matter what, I'll never fully grow up...And actually, I'm okay with that! :smallbiggrin:)

Whatever you do, don't let them grow you up. Always leave a part of that in you which just gapes in wonder at the beauty of the universe.



They Said It Could Not Be Done
From the Cack-Pairing Thread’s Hottest New Producer, Taekwondodo
The Love That Should Not Have Been
Adapted From the Page-Searing Crack-Pairing By Water-Smurf
With Original, Never Before Heard Songs
The Crack-Pairing Thread is Proud to Present

In The Arms of Morpheus:
The Musical

:smallbiggrin: Thoughts?

Moar! Moar! Moar!


In other news, I had an interesting day; went into London with school for a college/university conference, and I've found a good few universities that do courses in computer animation and game art. So I'm happy.

Yay! Zanaril will get an edumacation! Make tons of £££££££!

[Lix Lorn]

A scene is like a chapter, an act is more like... a book or a section. You know you get books with 'Part One' or stuff? They'd be acts.

In other news, my XykonElan just graduated from oneshotcrackficpairing to properplottedcrackficpairing. DXD That's what happens when the very, veyr small part of you with a lawful alignment makes you EXPLAIN why you're pairing a protagonist with the major antagonist, and comes up with an awesome enough answer to fuel a story.

[Taekwondodo]

A scene is like a chapter, an act is more like... a book or a section. You know you get books with 'Part One' or stuff? They'd be acts.

In other news, my XykonElan just graduated from oneshotcrackficpairing to properplottedcrackficpairing. DXD That's what happens when the very, veyr small part of you with a lawful alignment makes you EXPLAIN why you're pairing a protagonist with the major antagonist, and comes up with an awesome enough answer to fuel a story.

Oh OK. I'll remember that in future.

[Lix Lorn]

Glad to help. ^_^

[CoffeeIncluded]

Whatever you do, don't let them grow you up. Always leave a part of that in you which just gapes in wonder at the beauty of the universe.

I know. It's hard, but I'm trying. :smallsmile:

And we REALLY need to make a Crack Pairer base class/Prestige class!

[Lix Lorn]

I don't really know enough about the rules. DXD Otherwise i totally WOULD.

CRAFT DISTURBING MENTAL IMAGE AS CLASS FEAT

[Draconi Redfir]

*snip*

:smallbiggrin: Thoughts?


... we have GOT to do this!!! for realz!!!!


can anyone here do animaition? we need to get this on youtube.


dodo!, you direct, coffie! watersmerf! you two are the only girls i know of here. can either of you voice V and/or Tuski? we will also need voices for Xylon and Redcloak, as well as Jirix, zombies, and O-chul.

eavryone get skype! this is too good to not do! XD
this is mostly a joke... would stil lbe awsome if we did it though

[CoffeeIncluded]

... we have GOT to do this!!! for realz!!!!


can anyone here do animaition? we need to get this on youtube.


dodo!, you direct, coffie! watersmerf! you two are the only girls i know of here. can either of you voice V and/or Tuski? we will also need voices for Xylon and Redcloak, as well as Jirix, zombies, and O-chul.

eavryone get skype! this is too good to not do! XD
this is mostly a joke... would stil lbe awsome if we did it though
I'll try...

[Taekwondodo]

... we have GOT to do this!!! for realz!!!!


can anyone here do animaition? we need to get this on youtube.


dodo!, you direct, coffie! watersmerf! you two are the only girls i know of here. can either of you voice V and/or Tuski? we will also need voices for Xylon and Redcloak, as well as Jirix, zombies, and O-chul.

eavryone get skype! this is too good to not do! XD
this is mostly a joke... would stil lbe awsome if we did it though

Well I'm writing the rest of it (doing other stuff as well so give me time!). Would be rather cool to do!

[Asta Kask]

I have a deep, Xykony voice but I can't sing.

Is Xykon even in this?

Edit: Oh, and Coffee... I'd be careful around Water-Smurf, Zanaril, or Lix - at least if they carry sharp knives and look evaluatingly at you.

This is spill-over from the FF-forum.

[Zanaril]

I have a deep, Xykony voice but I can't sing.

Is Xykon even in this?
Later, later. When Reddy starts getting curbstomped.


Edit: Oh, and Coffee... I'd be careful around Water-Smurf, Zanaril, or Lix - at least if they carry sharp knives and look evaluatingly at you.

*quickly hides "Surgery and Vivisection for Dummies"*

[Asta Kask]

Crack Pairer PrC

"I don't know! All she did was whisper something in his ear about a lich and an ogre, and the next thing I know he's curled up in a little ball whimpering! I didn't even know it was possible to vomit things you haven't eaten yet!"

Prerequisites:
Skills: 4 rank in Profession (Writer)
Feats: Iron Will
Saves: +5 Will Base save, +5 Fort Base save
Other: Must be literate

Something like that to begin with... thoughts?

[CoffeeIncluded]

Crack Pairer PrC

Prerequisites:
Skills: 4 rank in Profession (Writer)
Feats: Craft Disturbing Mental Image
Equipment: Computer; Internet Connection
Other: Must be literate

Something like that to begin with... thoughts?

It has to have a good Fort and Will save progression. The entire class revolves around squicking out everyone else while being immune to said squicking.

Flavor text: "I don't know! All she did was whisper something in his ear about a lich and an ogre, and the next thing I know he's curled up in a little ball whimpering! I didn't even know it was possible to vomit things you haven't eaten yet!"

I'll sign onto that forum later today, I think.

[Asta Kask]

It has to have a good Fort and Will save progression. The entire class revolves around squicking out everyone else while being immune to said squicking.

Flavor text: "I don't know! All she did was whisper something in his ear about a lich and an ogre, and the next thing I know he's curled up in a little ball whimpering! I didn't even know it was possible to vomit things you haven't eaten yet!"

I'll sign onto that forum later today, I think.

You won't be able to post for a day (or two; I'm old, I don't remember.) But we'll be happy to have you there! *missed my Coffee*

How's Murphy's Law coming along? *wags tail and begs*

[CoffeeIncluded]

You won't be able to post for a day (or two; I'm old, I don't remember.) But we'll be happy to have you there! *missed my Coffee*

How's Murphy's Law coming along? *wags tail and begs*

Yay! :smallbiggrin:

Will I be able to finish before my mom picks me up? I'm almost done, but she's coming over right now! Never mind.

Do you like the flavor text I provided?

I already looked over the thread. I think you violated several laws there. :smallannoyed: :smalltongue:

[Asta Kask]

Do you like the flavor text I provided

Already incorporated.

[Zanaril]

I already looked over the thread. I think you violated several laws there. :smallannoyed:

Only several? Well, I suppose we haven't really had time to get started yet...

What makes you say that anyway? I can't see anything too bad so far.

[CoffeeIncluded]

Only several? Well, I suppose we haven't really had time to get started yet...

What makes you say that anyway? I can't see anything too bad so far.

I was teasing. Sorry.

(And I'm about to update!)

Back on topic, guys! I'm actually going to use that crazy high school more often now. Miko/Kyrie/V next! :smallbiggrin:

[Zanaril]

I was teasing. Sorry.
Awww. :smallfrown:

[Asta Kask]

Well, if it's any comfort we probably have broken some of the FFForum's rules. But apparently they don't have a sheriff to police them.

I'll look into the PrC thing tomorrow.

[Lix Lorn]

Highschool Miko? Ohboy. XD
She seems like the gotobed early, study type. XD

There are no sheriffs on FF. None.

[Draconi Redfir]

Miko? nahh. She’s the popular girl that hates everybody, and/or the girl that hangs out with the popular boys, but is hated by everyone. the popular boys only like her because she looks good :P


I think we should add some things to the prerequisites to that cracker class.

4 ranks in Knowledge (commix)

And 5 ranks in perform (imagination)

Just mah thouts :P



additionally: we could always make Xylons songs some kind of spoken-word things or something. *Shrugs*

Wonder if i could do Redcloak or Jirix :D

[Closak]

There are no sheriffs on FF. None.

Good to know :smallamused:

We can't party here, but over there...What?

...O_O *Gagged and bound*


Also, my next fic may be delayed a while, due to it's nature i'm going to have to restrict it to FF.Net.

Have to make an account first...

[Lix Lorn]

Ah, but you don't need comics to ship. Imagination is covered by the profession or Writer, Artist or Animator.

It'll be good to have you! ^_^

[icastflare!]

Crack Pairer PrC

"I don't know! All she did was whisper something in his ear about a lich and an ogre, and the next thing I know he's curled up in a little ball whimpering! I didn't even know it was possible to vomit things you haven't eaten yet!"

Prerequisites:
Skills: 4 rank in Profession (Writer)
Feats: Craft Disturbing Mental Image
Equipment: Computer; Internet Connection
Other: Must be literate

Something like that to begin with... thoughts?

ooooo cool! I am gonna try to see if I can incorparate that into 4E. To the Flare Cave!!

[half-halfling]

Those two stories (Water-Smurf's and Shiny's) about V's parents were awesome!
I've missed Wtaer-Smurf's birthday :smallfrown:. Unfortunatelly I've had a busy week at the university (kind of: "Oh, I see you have almost finished your project. Prepare a presentation about it on Friday conference"). So, late Happy Birthday Water-Smurf! I've made a picture ,those are supposed to be Aula ,Tiberius, their doughter, their son-in-law and granddoughter:smallsmile:.

http://i750.photobucket.com/albums/xx144/half-halfling/wsb.png

[Lix Lorn]

:O
THEY'RE WEARING CLOTHES

(Shock)

[half-halfling]

:O
THEY'RE WEARING CLOTHES

(Shock)

Forum rules :smallsmile:

[Lix Lorn]

XD
You rock for that answer.

[half-halfling]

I mean forum rules doesn't allow to draw them without clothes. But forum rules too ! :smallbiggrin:

[Lix Lorn]

XD
I know you meant that.

...couldn't you have made them Invisible, Like Elan?

[half-halfling]

I don't know if such effects are even possible in program I'm using (Corel Draw). Maybe black squares would be good, but I think this way it looks good too.

[Lix Lorn]

Hmm, i wonder how he does it...

[The Odor]

Hmm, i wonder how he does it...

If your talking about Elans Invisibilty trick- I can enlight you. The law of drama demanded that Haley could not see him naked untill they did it. So instead of making sure the bard dont take off his cloths (fat chances) it took the easy way out and censured reallty.
If you are talking about something else then sorry.

[CoffeeIncluded]

Hmm, i wonder how he does it...

I'm not sure. If I can't figure it out, I'll just use blur or black bars. Three guesses which Murphy's Law character ends up nude, and the first two don't count.

Nice one, Half-Halfling!


Highschool Miko? Ohboy. XD
She seems like the gotobed early, study type. XD

Like me? :smalltongue:

Actually, I did Miko/Kyrie before. Adding in V won't be too much of a stretch, especially considering the school. Take a look. (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?p=7475147#post7475147)

[The Dark Fiddler]

Crack Pairer PrC

"I don't know! All she did was whisper something in his ear about a lich and an ogre, and the next thing I know he's curled up in a little ball whimpering! I didn't even know it was possible to vomit things you haven't eaten yet!"

Prerequisites:
Skills: 4 rank in Profession (Writer)
Feats: Craft Disturbing Mental Image
Equipment: Computer; Internet Connection
Other: Must be literate

Something like that to begin with... thoughts?

From a D&D stand point... I don't know if it'd work that well.

First of all, only 4 ranks as a prereq? That means you take the PrC as your second level, while most PrCs can't be taken until about 5 or 6. Secondly, I don't think Craft Disturbing Mental Image has ever been statted up (if it has, ignore). And lastly, having equipment as a prerequisite is very strange. What happens if you lose access to your equipment? Do you lose all your levels in the PrC? [/overlyseverestuff]

[CoffeeIncluded]

From a D&D stand point... I don't know if it'd work that well.

First of all, only 4 ranks as a prereq? That means you take the PrC as your second level, while most PrCs can't be taken until about 5 or 6. Secondly, I don't think Craft Disturbing Mental Image has ever been statted up (if it has, ignore). And lastly, having equipment as a prerequisite is very strange. What happens if you lose access to your equipment? Do you lose all your levels in the PrC? [/overlyseverestuff]

Uhm, then how about some way to convey a message (Drawings, writing, typing, even speaking and pantomime.). Those items just provide a circumstance bonus. Is that better?

[icastflare!]

Uhm, then how about some way to convey a message (Drawings, writing, typing, even speaking and pantomime.). Those items just provide a circumstance bonus. Is that better?

hmm. Interesting theory. I am portraying the crack pairer in 4E as a magic user summoning abominations from the abyss and twisting it to heal people in the form of brain bleach. trying not to make it as modern age as possible just in case I ever decide to use it in a fantasy setting.

So mine is sorta weird and not in the modern age era.

[Kaytara]

Holy crackgods! Water-Smurf's birthday???? O.O

I can't just let that go ignored, even if I AM late. :D So happy birthday! :D

http://img521.imageshack.us/img521/3410/tia.png

It's quick and messy, but I was really going to head to sleep when I stopped by here, so... ^^; Hope you like it. I think you're an awesome person and I wish you all the strength you need to not let things drag you down and to become an even awesomer person. :)

By the way, I loved the last chapter of Tiasal's story. Really suspenseful there, so much conflict - especially now that Redcloak is there to counterbalance Xykon's influence with his own. His tragically brief moment of bonding with Tiasal really filled me with a sort of anxious hope and concern for how she'll develop with Xykon and Redcloak tugging on her from opposite sides. And of course, her mentally burying her family and friends at the end isn't encouraging, even if it is somewhat relieving that she did so while remembering them with love and grief and not with resentment.

I also like where the VxRC story is going. The first form of RC's forced choice between the Plan and Vaarsuvius had to come sometime and this is as good a time as any. I like it that you keep the other characters active in the story despite centering it on V and RC. It makes them feel real, as real players in this scheme, rather than just window dressing.

Okay, off to bed now. I wish you to retroactively enjoy your birthday cake. XD

[Tira-chan]

On the PrC:

Maybe throw in a Fortitude/Will requirement for the class? That's a pretty fast way to set an entry level. Plus, you need a pretty good save just to make it through the first one.

On writing:

Sadly, all crack pairing activities have been brought to a screeching halt by an unusual affliction known as OTCP. I can't think of anything to write that's not V/Spock. And the plotbunnies... they gnaw away my brain... I'm actually putting SERIOUS THOUGHT into this, ohgodmakeitstop.

[Sereg]

@Taekwondodo: "In the Arms of Morpheus" as a musical? I love it!

Yay! Kaytara's back! With art! That I can see!

Actually, I may be able to get to another computer today so I can see everything else that I usually can't.



Sadly, all crack pairing activities have been brought to a screeching halt by an unusual affliction known as OTCP. I can't think of anything to write that's not V/Spock. And the plotbunnies... they gnaw away my brain... I'm actually putting SERIOUS THOUGHT into this, ohgodmakeitstop.

Dooooooo eeeeeeeet!

[Zanaril]

awesomesauce

It's quick and messy, but I was really going to head to sleep when I stopped by here, so... ^^; Hope you like it. I think you're an awesome person and I wish you all the strength you need to not let things drag you down and to become an even awesomer person. :)
I love the shading. :smallsmile:

[Bothi]

Belkar and haley... ja i know.

[Asta Kask]

Edited the CrP PrC (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showpost.php?p=8016533&postcount=57). Removed the equipment prerequisites and Craft DMI prerequisite; added a Base Save prerequisite and Iron Will as a prerequisite.

Suggestions for powers gained - ability to make people shaken/sickened/deaf with a verbal attack? Resistance to Fear and sickened saves? Brew Brain Bleach? Brew Love Potion?

[Draconi Redfir]

on critical hits with spells (im assumeing its a spellcaster) the CrP Prc may roll a 20 sided die, if a 15 of higher is rolled, target gains an additional 1d4 vomiting damage.

CrPPrC is profficient with all martial and simple weapons

craft: brain bleach as a class skill, requires: 1 bottle of bleach, 1 memmory potion, 1 thin tube (insert directly into ear/nose!) and 50GP

brain bleach: heal 1d6 nonleathal damage, or gain 1d4 temporary hitpoints.

[BatRobin]

Hilgya + Durkon while under the effects of Thor's might

...Um...please tell me I'm not the only one thinking that...yeah...:smallwink:

Anyways, hi. I'm back, I didn't post much in the last two threads...

So, here goes...

Lord Kubota + Monster in the Dark?

Jirix +Julio Scoundrel?

Haley + The Cliffport chief of police?

Miko + Bozzok?

I like that last one. Lemme think on it for a bit.

[Water-Smurf]

Xykon/Tiasal (not really a pairing, because that would be gross)

Xykon looked down at the little greenish child that sat on his lap. No, he could never feel love, nor did he have any desire to. But ever since he stole her from that self-righteous traitor Redcloak and his harlot of a wife he had begun to feel... possessiveness. Yes, that was the word. He could not love the child, but he could value her. Especially since the thought of Tiasal in the arms of an undead monstrosity must be causing her parents the most exquisite pain. What a torture it must be for a parent to know that his only child is in the hands of a fiend. Yes...

- Bone-Parent. Can you tell me the Story again?

*sigh* Always the Story. Always the same Story. It seemed to be the only thing that interested her. That and wizardry, which quite frankly made Xykon's head hurt. Still, Tsukiko had promised to take the brat and teach her once she got old enough. Make her a necromancer. Teach her the darkest of the dark arts. That would be the way to get rev...

-Bone-Parent. You promised...

Ah, well. He might as well, or he would just lose his temper and Meteor Swarm her into oblivion. And that wouldn't be any fun, would it? Well, to be honest it would be pretty hilarious but only for a short time...

- Well, little Tia. Many years ago your Daddy and I conquered the smoldering pit that was then Azure City. And just as we sat there planning our next move, who dropped in if not some black-robed elf with purple hair. So she started blasting away and I rose to the challenge, naturally. It was pretty fun there for a moment or two, until I beat the crap out of her.

- And... and...

- *sigh*. And that, Tiasal, is how I met your mother.

Thoughts?

*giggles* I love how enthusiastic Tiasal is over the whole thing, and it's cute that Xykon's actually willing to indulge her a little. It's not affection, per se, but some sort of affinity. It shows off their severely twisted relationship with each other.


Secrets of V's gender REVEALED!!! Read all about it!

:haley: I do feel, Roy, that any Anti-Imperialist group like ours must reflect such a divergence of interests within its power-base.

:roy: Agreed. Durkon?

:durkon: Yeah. I think Haley's point of view is very valid, Roy, provided the Movement never forgets that it is the inalienable right of every man--

:vaarsuvius: Or woman.

:durkon: Or woman... to rid himself--

:vaarsuvius: Or herself.

:durkon: Or herself.

:roy: Agreed.

:durkon: Thank you, brother.

:vaarsuvius: Or sister.

:durkon: Or sister. Where was I?

:roy: I think you'd finished.

:durkon: Oh. Right.

:roy: Furthermore, it is the birthright of every man--

:vaarsuvius: Or woman.

:roy: Why don't you shut up about women, V. You're putting us off.

:vaarsuvius: Women have a perfect right to play a part in our movement, Roy.

:durkon: Why are you always on about women, Vaarsuvius?

:vaarsuvius: I want to be one.

:roy: What?

:vaarsuvius: I want to be a woman. From now on, I want you all to call me 'Loretta'.

:roy: What?!

:vaarsuvius: It's my right as a man.

:haley: Well, why do you want to be Loretta, 'Suvie?

:vaarsuvius: I want to have babies.

:roy: You want to have babies?!

:vaarsuvius: It's every man's right to have babies if he wants them.

:roy: But... you can't have babies.

:vaarsuvius: Don't you oppress me.

:roy: I'm not oppressing you, V. You haven't got a womb! -- Where's the fetus going to gestate?! You going to keep it in a box?!

:vaarsuvius: [crying]

:haley: Here! I-- I've got an idea. Suppose you agree that he can't actually have babies, not having a womb, which is nobody's fault, not even the Goblins', but that he can have the right to have babies.

:durkon: Good idea, Haley. We shall fight the oppressors for your right to have babies, brother. Sister. Sorry.

:roy: What's the point?

:durkon: What?

:roy: What's the point of fighting for his right to have babies when he can't have babies?!

:durkon: It is symbolic of our struggle against oppression.

:roy: Symbolic of his struggle against reality.

That made me giggle. :smallbiggrin: And it made me slightly baffled.


So do I. Say "hi" to your parents from all the completely unfamiliar people you've met on the web!

They send their odd looks and general suspicion! :D


dodo!, you direct, coffie! watersmerf! you two are the only girls i know of here. can either of you voice V and/or Tuski?

I have a relatively deep, loud, and rich voice, but it's distinctly feminine. And I can sing. Match that with what you will.


Well, if it's any comfort we probably have broken some of the FFForum's rules. But apparently they don't have a sheriff to police them.

I'm not even sure if the rules they put up there are valid anymore. Even if you report people, nothing happens.


So, late Happy Birthday Water-Smurf! I've made a picture ,those are supposed to be Aula ,Tiberius, their doughter, their son-in-law and granddoughter:smallsmile:.

Thank you so much! :D The family's together, and Aula and Tiberius are semi-decent around Tiasal. All's right with the world. ^.^


Holy crackgods! Water-Smurf's birthday???? O.O

I can't just let that go ignored, even if I AM late. :D So happy birthday! :D

She looks so grown-up! ^.^ I love it! Thank you!


It's quick and messy, but I was really going to head to sleep when I stopped by here, so... ^^; Hope you like it. I think you're an awesome person and I wish you all the strength you need to not let things drag you down and to become an even awesomer person. :)

*wibbles* *crawls over and hugs*


By the way, I loved the last chapter of Tiasal's story. Really suspenseful there, so much conflict - especially now that Redcloak is there to counterbalance Xykon's influence with his own. His tragically brief moment of bonding with Tiasal really filled me with a sort of anxious hope and concern for how she'll develop with Xykon and Redcloak tugging on her from opposite sides. And of course, her mentally burying her family and friends at the end isn't encouraging, even if it is somewhat relieving that she did so while remembering them with love and grief and not with resentment.

I figured that no child would be able to be ripped away from her family without having at least one period of mourning. She really has lost everything, even if she is not quite sure what she lost.


I also like where the VxRC story is going. The first form of RC's forced choice between the Plan and Vaarsuvius had to come sometime and this is as good a time as any. I like it that you keep the other characters active in the story despite centering it on V and RC. It makes them feel real, as real players in this scheme, rather than just window dressing.

That's actually pretty difficult for me. It's hard to include lots of characters in one short story, and I'm doing my best to give everyone a slice of the cake. (No pun intended. :smallwink:)


Okay, off to bed now. I wish you to retroactively enjoy your birthday cake. XD

Not retroactive. ^.^ I'm going to have my cake tonight. I only got back home last night, and my dad had to go out, so we haven't celebrated my birthday yet.

And it's nice to see you again! :D


Oh, and guys, here's my chart. There's a hint of what might come, but I haven't connected anything substantial to something the reader doesn't know about.

http://i1011.photobucket.com/albums/af232/Water-Smurf/L.png

[Lix Lorn]

LOVE the Tiasal pic! She's pretty. ^_^

The chart is helpful-though i want to know what would happen if PotG was part of the same continuity. (Course, there's no PROOF it isn't unless you plan to WordOfGod)

For the PrC, i'd like to point out that Profession (Artist) could be substituted for Writer.

Also, a verbal attack that forces a Fortitude save or be sickened, and a Will Save or be forced into a comalike state as they shiver in disgust as their mind shatters?

[Zanaril]

Xykon/Tiasal (not really a pairing, because that would be gross)
Thoughts?
I missed this before! Suddenly your image request makes a lot more sense. :smallsmile:



They send their odd looks and general suspicion! :D
Only general? We're getting somewhere then!


Oh, and guys, here's my chart. There's a hint of what might come, but I haven't connected anything substantial to something the reader doesn't know about.

I'm going to take this as proof that all the stories are in the same continuity. PROOF.

And two endings for OAWLS? I'm glad it seems we'll get a continuation, but at that point what other way could it go except for world-doomy death and destruction? It seemed hopeless with both Reddy and V being dead.

*twiddles thumbs*

[Lix Lorn]

It seemed hopeless with both Reddy and V being dead.
Ohyeah, cause death is SO permanent. DXD

[Asta Kask]

dodo!, you direct, coffie! watersmerf! you two are the only girls i know of here. can either of you voice V and/or Tuski? we will also need voices for Xylon and Redcloak, as well as Jirix, zombies, and O-chul!

Zanaril is a girl. And I think Lix Lorn is a girl. Some days, at least.

[Lix Lorn]

It really depends. (Smirk) But most of the time.

[Zanaril]

Ohyeah, cause death is SO permanent. DXD

You still need someone alive to do the ressurecting.

[Closak]

Well, i just made an account on FF.Net

Now i have to wait 1 day before i can post on the forums:smallannoyed:

And i have to wait 2 days before i can post any stories:smallmad:

Ah well, at least i'm getting somewhere now.

[CoffeeIncluded]

I have a relatively deep, loud, and rich voice, but it's distinctly feminine. And I can sing. Match that with what you will.

I can't sing at all. :smalltongue: My voice can get a bit high-pitched and whiny at times, and I speak at a million miles per hour. And I have an occasional verbal tic.

...Think female Elan.


Not retroactive. ^.^ I'm going to have my cake tonight. I only got back home last night, and my dad had to go out, so we haven't celebrated my birthday yet.

And it's nice to see you again! :D


Oh, and guys, here's my chart. There's a hint of what might come, but I haven't connected anything substantial to something the reader doesn't know about.

http://i1011.photobucket.com/albums/af232/Water-Smurf/L.png

Happy Late Birthday! :smallbiggrin:

And nice chart! (And, uh, what do you think of what I sent you? Coupled with the most recent update?)

And yes, the class should revolve around sickening and nauseating foes while being immune to said sickening/nausea.

Also, the class should have some way of casting illusion and mind-affecting spells.

[Darklord Xavez]

YakYakxTivo. No comment. (that is prompting some terrible images...OH GOD THE PAIN! MAKE IT STOP!)

ephton/Haerta/Ganneron + YakYak + Mr. Rodriguez + YakYak(gender flipped) + Haley's Dad. I'm not sure how that would work out, and I don't wanna know.

Belkar x entire hobgoblin army + black leather and high heels. I'm having way too much fun here. Wouldn't really work though.

Dukron x MitD snowed in.

Bone Golem Roy x Roy's sword.
-Xavez

[Taekwondodo]

Scene 2! V sings!!


(Scene 2. Curtain opens, R at window lit by purple light of the Snarl, hobgoblin comes in.)

H: Supreme Leader?


(R spins round and frowns at H)

R: Yes?
H: The prisoner isn’t eating or trancing. She says that she’s not hungry or tired.


(R sighs)

R: I’ll handle it. How’s the search for Xykon’s phylactery?
H: The troops haven’t found it so far.
R: Wonderful. I bet Xykon’s in a great mood about that. You may leave.


(H leaves)

“Unbalanced”

The urge to rip and claw and tear,
Only anger for the elf
Rip flesh from bones and scalp from hair
Yet in it, anger for myself

Why not hurt one in recompense?
Or take out my anger on?
So much worse is their offense
So many blameless goblins gone

So hurt the elf, remind our foes, why we should be feared!
And make the scoreboard, just that bit more balanced.


(Curtain closes. Opens on elf’s room)

R: What’d I say about eating and trancing?
V: I…I am not hungry nor am I tired.
R: Save the lying for interrogation. (picks up bowl and walks to bed) Enjoy the food while you can. This is the best you’re going to get—after you’re healthy, you’ll be living off gruel.


(V shifts into the corner, wary)

V: That seems to defeat the purpose of making me healthy.
R: You’d think so. Alright, you can eat and make at least one of us happy, or you can still resist and make both of us unhappier than we already are.


(V hesitates, R picks up spoon as if to feed her. V holds out hand to stop him)

V: That is quite alright! I can feed myself.
R: Pride is all you have left, elf.


(Gives V spoon but sees her hand is shaking so steadies it with his. V eats.)

V (curious): Why would you do this personally?
R: I’m a hands-on leader, I guess. Besides, your presence is not exactly something I want every foot soldier to know about. (Removes pot and spoon) This is the part where I ‘convince’ you to trance.
V: I am not tired.
R (snarls): No, you’re exhausted! You want to see how many times you can deal with your fingers being ripped off? I may be a lowly cleric but I can regenerate lost limbs.


(V glares while squeezing further into corner)

V: I am not tired. Bring any barbaric torture you wish—I shall not trance.


“Memories”

R: Why not trance? I see no reason in it
This round of wills, there’s no way they can win it.
No rebel sign? An answer must be elsewhere
Refusing sleep, this elf is a nightmare!


(Understanding dawns)

(Spoken) Oh!

Haunted by their past
A sign of guilt at last?
Seems anything’s better than return to memories.

Similar in our hurt
Yet too close for comfort
Both of us trying to escape from memories.

(Spoken) What’s your name?


(V looks up, surprised but wary)

Dark One above! This prisoner, this elf
Without trying reminds me of myself
Grief, remorse and anger, fear and shame
Though they don’t show I know this others pain.

R: What’s your name? Is this a difficult question?
V: I am rather surprised that you care.
R: Filing issues. I can’t exactly call you ‘the elf’ in any records when I start interrogating you. We’re inevitably going to get a few other prisoners that fit that description.
V: Perhaps the elf that helped lose your master’s phylactery?


(V squares shoulders and looks proud)

R: Just give me your name. It’s not like I can do much with it.
V: I would prefer to know who I am speaking to first.
R: Just call me Redcloak. Everyone else does.


(V pauses.)

V: My name is Vaarsuvius. (Looks away, pride drained) I am not tired.


(R frowns)

R: Fine then.


(R settles on the end of the bed. Finds book and flicks through pages)

V: What are you doing?
R: If I’m staying here, I’m going to have something to entertain myself.
V: And why are you staying here?
R: (sighs) It turns out that torture can only do so much, and forcing someone to sleep isn’t included. So I’m staying here until you trance.
V: Excuse me?!
R: You speak Common, right? I’m not leaving until you get at least eight hours of trance. I know that my… associates don’t seem like it, but there are some people here that have more patience than that of a toddler.


(V still looks wary)

R: Don’t flatter yourself or insult me. I’m not like Xykon. I’m not going to hurt you when you’re asleep. Especially in… (Pauses and makes sound of disgust) that way.


(Still wary V lays head on knees and falls into a trance. Curtain closes.)

(Curtain opens. V alone in room. R comes in.)

R: They tell me you’re refusing to trance again.


“Memories – Reprise”

V: This respite cannot last
But while I can I ask
For company can tide against the memories.


(R nods and settles on the end of the bed. Curtain closes, end of scene 2)


Scene 3 will probably take longer as I had actually wrote the songs for 1 and 2 before I even told you about them!

[CoffeeIncluded]

Scene 2! V sings!!


(Scene 2. Curtain opens, R at window lit by purple light of the Snarl, hobgoblin comes in.)

H: Supreme Leader?


(R spins round and frowns at H)

R: Yes?
H: The prisoner isn’t eating or trancing. She says that she’s not hungry or tired.


(R sighs)

R: I’ll handle it. How’s the search for Xykon’s phylactery?
H: The troops haven’t found it so far.
R: Wonderful. I bet Xykon’s in a great mood about that. You may leave.


(H leaves)

“Unbalanced”

The urge to rip and claw and tear,
Only anger for the elf
Rip flesh from bones and scalp from hair
Yet in it, anger for myself

Why not hurt one in recompense?
Or take out my anger on?
So much worse is their offense
So many blameless goblins gone

So hurt the elf, remind our foes, why we should be feared!
And make the scoreboard, just that bit more balanced.


(Curtain closes. Opens on elf’s room)

R: What’d I say about eating and trancing?
V: I…I am not hungry nor am I tired.
R: Save the lying for interrogation. (picks up bowl and walks to bed) Enjoy the food while you can. This is the best you’re going to get—after you’re healthy, you’ll be living off gruel.


(V shifts into the corner, wary)

V: That seems to defeat the purpose of making me healthy.
R: You’d think so. Alright, you can eat and make at least one of us happy, or you can still resist and make both of us unhappier than we already are.


(V hesitates, R picks up spoon as if to feed her. V holds out hand to stop him)

V: That is quite alright! I can feed myself.
R: Pride is all you have left, elf.


(Gives V spoon but sees her hand is shaking so steadies it with his. V eats.)

V (curious): Why would you do this personally?
R: I’m a hands-on leader, I guess. Besides, your presence is not exactly something I want every foot soldier to know about. (Removes pot and spoon) This is the part where I ‘convince’ you to trance.
V: I am not tired.
R (snarls): No, you’re exhausted! You want to see how many times you can deal with your fingers being ripped off? I may be a lowly cleric but I can regenerate lost limbs.


(V glares while squeezing further into corner)

V: I am not tired. Bring any barbaric torture you wish—I shall not trance.


“Memories”

R: Why not trance? I see no reason in it
This round of wills, there’s no way they can win it.
No rebel sign? An answer must be elsewhere
Refusing sleep, this elf is a nightmare!


(Understanding dawns)

(Spoken) Oh!

Haunted by their past
A sign of guilt at last?
Seems anything’s better than return to memories.

Similar in our hurt
Yet too close for comfort
Both of us trying to escape from memories.

(Spoken) What’s your name?


(V looks up, surprised but wary)

Dark One above! This prisoner, this elf
Without trying reminds me of myself
Grief, remorse and anger, fear and shame
Though they don’t show I know this others pain.

R: What’s your name? Is this a difficult question?
V: I am rather surprised that you care.
R: Filing issues. I can’t exactly call you ‘the elf’ in any records when I start interrogating you. We’re inevitably going to get a few other prisoners that fit that description.
V: Perhaps the elf that helped lose your master’s phylactery?


(V squares shoulders and looks proud)

R: Just give me your name. It’s not like I can do much with it.
V: I would prefer to know who I am speaking to first.
R: Just call me Redcloak. Everyone else does.


(V pauses.)

V: My name is Vaarsuvius. (Looks away, pride drained) I am not tired.


(R frowns)

R: Fine then.


(R settles on the end of the bed. Finds book and flicks through pages)

V: What are you doing?
R: If I’m staying here, I’m going to have something to entertain myself.
V: And why are you staying here?
R: (sighs) It turns out that torture can only do so much, and forcing someone to sleep isn’t included. So I’m staying here until you trance.
V: Excuse me?!
R: You speak Common, right? I’m not leaving until you get at least eight hours of trance. I know that my… associates don’t seem like it, but there are some people here that have more patience than that of a toddler.


(V still looks wary)

R: Don’t flatter yourself or insult me. I’m not like Xykon. I’m not going to hurt you when you’re asleep. Especially in… (Pauses and makes sound of disgust) that way.


(Still wary V lays head on knees and falls into a trance. Curtain closes.)

(Curtain opens. V alone in room. R comes in.)

R: They tell me you’re refusing to trance again.


“Memories – Reprise”

V: This respite cannot last
But while I can I ask
For company can tide against the memories.


(R nods and settles on the end of the bed. Curtain closes, end of scene 2)


Scene 3 will probably take longer as I had actually wrote the songs for 1 and 2 before I even told you about them!

*Claps* I'm gonna enjoy this.

[Lix Lorn]

This is SO awesome. (Adoration, worship)

[Taekwondodo]

Wow, all I did was add songs. *Blushes*

[Lix Lorn]

Ah, but you did it WELL. ^_^

[Asta Kask]

I saw the Sheriff had closed a Crack Pairings thread and my first thought was

You Maniacs! You blew it up! Ah, damn you! God damn you all to hell!

But then I saw it was the old thread.

[BatRobin]

YakYakxTivo. No comment. (that is prompting some terrible images...OH GOD THE PAIN! MAKE IT STOP!)

ephton/Haerta/Ganneron + YakYak + Mr. Rodriguez + YakYak(gender flipped) + Haley's Dad. I'm not sure how that would work out, and I don't wanna know.

Belkar x entire hobgoblin army + black leather and high heels. I'm having way too much fun here. Wouldn't really work though.

Dukron x MitD snowed in.

Bone Golem Roy x Roy's sword.
-Xavez

Yakyak? There's only Yikyik and Yokyok.

[Asta Kask]

Yakyak? There's only Yikyik and Yokyok.

Unless YokYok has a child... with Vaarsuvius!

[Lix Lorn]

...hello, Batrobin. Have we met? XD

[Asta Kask]

...hello, Batrobin. Have we met? XD

I think I told you you had pretty eyes. But I'm fairly sure that was under the influence of a love potion. :smallbiggrin:

Yokyok x Vaarsuvius - the mind boggles. Especially since it implies the V laid an egg. She is indeed a brooding character, but that's taking it too far.

[Lix Lorn]

Fairly sure? (Blows kiss)

[licoot]

Yakyak? There's only Yikyik and Yokyok.

i feal stupid asking this, but whose yikyik and yokyok

[Asta Kask]

i feal stupid asking this, but whose yikyik and yokyok

Kobolds who met a grievous end at the hands of the sexy shoeless god of war. Former affiliates of the Linear Guild.

[licoot]

Kobolds who met a grievous end at the hands of the sexy shoeless god of war. Former affiliates of the Linear Guild.

Oh, I remember.
thanks:smallsmile:

[Lix Lorn]

YokYok was the first one, i think, from the original team. YikYik was the Inigo Montoya based one. XD

[Asta Kask]

YokYok was the first one, i think, from the original team. YikYik was the Inigo Montoya based one. XD

Nope. (http://oots.wikia.com/wiki/Yokyok) But it's not easy to tell them apart.

[Lix Lorn]

I had a fifty fifty chance.

[icastflare!]

I consider them as cannon fodder along with all other kobolds. notable exception of the oracle.

[Zanaril]

Here's not-really-a-pairing Tiasal and Xykon.
http://i260.photobucket.com/albums/ii21/Zanaril/OOTSart/storytime.png
Because I thought I couldn't draw anything weirder.

[CoffeeIncluded]

Here's not-really-a-pairing Tiasal and Xykon.
http://i260.photobucket.com/albums/ii21/Zanaril/OOTSart/storytime.png
Because I thought I couldn't draw anything weirder.

It's cute! :smallbiggrin:

...:smalleek:

[Zanaril]

...:smalleek:
I know. :smalleek:

[icastflare!]

Here's not-really-a-pairing Tiasal and Xykon.
http://i260.photobucket.com/albums/ii21/Zanaril/OOTSart/storytime.png
Because I thought I couldn't draw anything weirder.

:smalleek:


cool painting. its a little disturbing. it makes me think of xykon as santa for some reason

:xykon: what do you want for christmas. say it fast or you will be a present for a beginner necromancer.

[Lix Lorn]

Cuuuuuute <3

[Zanaril]

cool painting. its a little disturbing. it makes me think of xykon as santa for some reason
You're not the first to make that comparison. It's kind of scary how frequently it happens.

...Hmm, how many people here are Discworld fans? :smallwink:

[Lix Lorn]

Me. XD
TIASAL AS SUSAN?!

[CoffeeIncluded]

You're not the first to make that comparison. It's kind of scary how frequently it happens.

...Hmm, how many people here are Discworld fans? :smallwink:

I am! I am!

[ShinyDelusion]

You're not the first to make that comparison. It's kind of scary how frequently it happens.

...Hmm, how many people here are Discworld fans? :smallwink:

Hogfather reference? :smallbiggrin:

*headdesk* I told myself I wouldn't post here this weekend until my research paper was done. It didn't occur to me that refusing to read the thread until I was done would probably be more efficient. Now I have failed to do both. :smallfrown: Oh well :smallamused:

That picture is simply awesome! I don't know what I love more: Xykon's body(uh... skeleton?) language reading "Awkward..." or how adorable Tiasal is or how it almost says that story from the first page without having to read it.

I loved that story, by the way, Asta Kask.

Heck, I loved all the new stories on the first page, but Asta Kask's especially.

And the musical! Unbelievably fantastic! Do you have tunes for any of the songs?

The Happy Birthday Water-Smurf Tiasal picture was beautiful, and Half-halfling's Happy Birthday Water-Smurf pic was adorable, and-and-and--

*catches breath*

Actually I think that's it. Ah, it feels good to get all that out.

[Lix Lorn]

Why don't we just say this thread is awesome and leave it there? (Grin)

[Sereg]

I liked scene 2 of the musical. Unfortunately I can't see the chart or new pictures.

[Tira-chan]

Promise you'll protect me from any angry trekkies?


First officer's log, Stardate: unknown
The encounter with the quantum barrier seems to have led to an unfortunate transporter accident; I have been stranded alone on an unidentified planet. Nearly all of the equipment seems to be in a state of malfunction as well. I have been forced to resort to primitive handwritten records. I have made several attempts to contact the Enterprise, but all have failed. Based on both the few sensor readings I have been able to take and the little information available on the exact nature of quantum barriers, I have begun to theorize that I have been transported to another dimension.

A rustle in the bushes caused the Vulcan to look up from the page he was writing on. He could here faint arguing voices, slowly growing louder as they got closer.
"Look, Roy, I know what you're thinking but c'mon! It's practically self-sustaining, and only mildly inhumane!"
"Bah! Without adressing the myriad moral issues that would, of course, be mere encouragement to your depraved soul, the idea itself is highly impractical. From whence would one obtain so many rutabagas in the first place?"
"Gods, will the two of you just shut up for a moment? Next time I'm trying to go on a stealth mission, I think I'll take the singing bard and the clanking dwarf."
"How is it my fault Ears can't -" Belkar broke off suddenly, sniffing the air a bit. "There's someone dead ahead. Elf, I think... no, maybe half-elf? Probably some sort of weird subrace or something." He began to reach for his daggers almost without thought, still sniffing a bit.
"You can stow the daggers, Belkar. I'm just going to go make a Diplomacy check or two, and see if we can get some better directions. The two of you stay here - gods know I need all the circumstance bonuses I can get."
The young man was only a few yards away, and Roy located him without trouble. Belkar had definitely gotten the elf part right, if the ears were any proof, but Roy couldn't think of a particular subrace with sharply angled eyebrows or unnaturally short, straight hair. The stranger's face was particularly unreadable; Roy hoped he could get a twenty.
"Hello, I'm an adventurer, and I was hoping you could give my party and I a bit of a hand. We, well, we happen to be a bit lost, and I was hoping maybe you could give us some directions to the nearest village?"
"An unfortunate coincidence. I happen to be facing the same difficulty as you are. Perhaps we could offer each other mutual aid?"
"So you're lost, too. Well, you might as well tag along. The forest around here's a bit dangerous for a single person." Roy held out a hand. "Name's Roy Greenhilt, human fighter. You are?"
"First Officer Spock of the Starship Enterprise. I do not suppose you can give me the name of this planet?"
Roy groaned audibly. And they had said it wasn't going to get too sci-fi!

"I think it's taking him too long."
"That is because you suffer from severe mental deficiencies including an attention span comparable to that of a housefly. It has been a mere one hundred and fifty-two seconds since Sir Greenhilt left us."
"How long does it take to give someone a few directions? Assuming it's not you, of course."
"Are you suggesting it would preferable to reconvene with the others having obtained incorrect data that would only serve to lead us more astray. I myself would think it better to be able to report back to Miss Starshine and the others with correct instructions. Besides, it is not as if Sir Greenhilt is likely to encounter any danger; you yourself said that it was another elf you detected, not a goblin or an orc."
"Yeah, but I didn't say what kind of elf. Not all of them are fluffy-unicorns-and-sunshine elves."
"You do have a point there. Some of my less savory kin are renowned for being nearly as violent and unpredictable as you are."
"See what I mean? I'm gonna go check it out." The halfling took off suddenly, with the startled elf giving chase, complaining all the while.

"So the majority of your planet is populated by humans as well? Fascinating. It appears as if I have indeed entered another dimension, then."
"Great. Well, we'll try and find you a high-level wizard or cleric who can spare you a Plane Shift - ours had to go and ban Conjuration."
"Perhaps you could explain in more detail this 'magic' practiced on your planet."
"You'd want to ask V about that -" Roy heard both Belkar's feet and Vaarsuvius' complaints just before it was too late, and managed to grab the tail of the halfling's cloak. "Belkar! Dammit, do you ever listen to anything I say?"
"What the hell took you so long, Greenhilt? Get lost asking for directions?" Belkar shot back.
"If you would cease exercising your extremely stale wit, perhaps you would be able to ascertain that Sir Greenhilt is not in any sort of danger, and once again, your superfluous conclusions have been summarily proven false, as I had expected they... would." Vaarsuvius, oddly enough, seemed to have lost interest in the spiel. Roy took it as a golden opportunity to get a word in edgewise.
"Spock, this is part of the rest of my party, Belkar and Vaarsuvius. Belkar and Vaarsuvius, Spock. He's some sort of space elf from another dimension or something."
"A simplified explanation, but basically correct. Apparently your world operates on some sort of magical system, which can possibly be employed to return me to to my own?"
"Another simplified explanation, once again the product of Sir Greenhilt, I might imagine. In fact, the magic that governs our world is a great and complex thing, not one which can be summarized by a mere spectator into the realm of the impossible." Vaarsuvius paused, looking suspicious. "Yet, truly, as an interloper into our very dimension, do you truly believe in it? If such a thing does not in your world, why would you accept it in another?"
"I have experienced several strange things in my own time. If what you say can be verified by scientific methods, I see no logical reason to doubt its truth."
"Well, now that we've agreed on that... Let's see if we can reconvene with the rest of the gang."


Yeah, I'm pausing it here and calling it part one. This is very good practice for my thesaurus skills, I have to say.

[Silverraptor]

Promise you'll protect me from any angry trekkies?


As long as I'm around, you are under special protective service from Mineral Dinosaurs Inc.:smallcool:

Edit: This is going to get veeeeeeeery Interesting. I can see the sparks starting to fly between V and Spock.:smallamused:

[Sereg]

Promise you'll protect me from any angry trekkies?

Sure. We'll accept part 2 as payment for our body guard work.

[Asta Kask]

Here's not-really-a-pairing Tiasal and Xykon.
awesome picture
Because I thought I couldn't draw anything weirder.

Yep. Says it all, really. Awesome picture! :smallbiggrin:

I liked VxSpock. It was... interesting. And I think it might be easier to ask how many people here aren't Discworld fans. You might even find one. Maybe two. (I'm a fan, by the way.)

[Lix Lorn]

I LOVE the V/Spock. <3

[Zanaril]

I LOVE the V/Spock. <3

We really need a half-elf template. :smallbiggrin:

[Taekwondodo]

And the musical! Unbelievably fantastic! Do you have tunes for any of the songs?

Amorphous fledgling tunes, but they could be turned into true tunes if I put my mind to it.

Discworld? Me! Me!

Nice story Tira-chan. You've caught the way they speak really well. Looking forward to next instalments.

[CoffeeIncluded]

Nice story, Tira-chan! :smallbiggrin:

[Draconi Redfir]

gah, a few hours ago i got back from playing a D&D game... i was the only player, so i got to play four of my characters, unfortunately trying to channel the four different personalities that live in my head all at once , caused me to become physically, mentally, and spiritually(not religiously) drained. Resulting in hunger, a headache, and sleepiness respectively... hope the characters themselves didn’t suffer anything similar because of it.

...That or I just caught something from the DM...


And now that that’s off my chest, I must do something to stay on topic!


have some Jirix/Goblin dan's whife/sister/employee whom i call Goblin Diahna.
http://img684.imageshack.us/img684/3429/jirix.jpg

[Lix Lorn]

Wow. XD

Haha. XDD

[Lawyergoblin]

...Hmm, how many people here are Discworld fans? :smallwink:

I shall announce it now, I wish to join the night watch.

Also: I liked the V/Spock, but I'm not really into star trek.
Brand New V/Z hopefully soon (no one get their hopes up yet, lacrosse season is coming up and my teachers are piling on work)

[Asta Kask]

To everyone who says my work is good - thank you all. I need a little ego boost right now (the university is screwing with me... :smallfrown:)

[Zanaril]

To everyone who says my work is good - thank you all. I need a little ego boost right now (the university is screwing with me... :smallfrown:)
We love you. *gives a big hug*

You and your extensive knowledge of elven biology.

[Darklord Xavez]

You're not the first to make that comparison. It's kind of scary how frequently it happens.

...Hmm, how many people here are Discworld fans? :smallwink:

I am.
-Xavez
P.S. This message approved by the Ankh-Morpork Postal Service.

[Darklord Xavez]

I LOVE the V/Spock. <3

In fact, that works out (almost) perfectly. I have (again almost) definite proof of V's gender. She is female. At least that is what the rest of the Order of the Stick thinks (see comic #123). Two things about that one: first, it is hilarious; and second, why else would V be in the same room as Haley for the night? But anyways, V/Spock produces some interesting images...
-Xavez

[Darklord Xavez]

Yakyak? There's only Yikyik and Yokyok.

Then it's YokYok.
-Xavez

[Asta Kask]

We love you. *gives a big hug*

You and your extensive knowledge of elven biology.

Thank you. I need a little love right now. :smallredface:

[Lix Lorn]

I think you're awesome, Asta!

[The Dark Fiddler]

In fact, that works out (almost) perfectly. I have (again almost) definite proof of V's gender. She is female. At least that is what the rest of the Order of the Stick thinks (see comic #123). Two things about that one: first, it is hilarious; and second, why else would V be in the same room as Haley for the night? But anyways, V/Spock produces some interesting images...
-Xavez

Don't... don't start that discussion here. It's got its own thread, and it's gotta be one of the more volatile subjects allowed by the forum rules. (Not trying to be mean, but I've seen threads engulfed by discussions on V's gender).

Also: Holy Triple Post, Batman!

[ShinyDelusion]

Posting without the Research Paper guilt this time!

Nice first chapter, Tira-chan.

Cute picture, Gicko.

Hiya, LawyerGoblin. Hope that update's coming sooner than you've implied, but good luck with your school work and lacrosse first.

Sorry you're having troubles, Asta Kask, and your work's always been pretty cool to me.

In other news, once the Paper-writing burnout starts to fade I think I'll get to work on either the next chapter of AulaxTiberiusxAarindarius or HinjoxTsukiko. Right now I'm leaning toward AxTxA.

[Conuly]

Two things about that one: first, it is hilarious; and second, why else would V be in the same room as Haley for the night?

You're in the crack pairings thread, and you're seriously asking that question? Maybe V and Haley like to, you know, do it. And they don't want to have to sneak around. (That's why they didn't share with Miko.)

Of course, that doesn't answer the V's gender question either....

[licoot]

YakYakxTivo. No comment. (that is prompting some terrible images...OH GOD THE PAIN! MAKE IT STOP!)

i did yak yak and the tivo, didn't know if you meant yik yik or yak yak
http://i867.photobucket.com/albums/ab238/licoot/tevoandyikyik.png?t=1267998931

[Lix Lorn]

Nice picture, but the Kobold looks like just some random person. An AWESOME one. XD

[licoot]

Nice picture, but the Kobold looks like just some random person. An AWESOME one. XD
thanks:smallbiggrin:
also i tried making him more kobold like, but i couldn't get expression

[Lix Lorn]

He looks like he should be a chaotic good bard. Like Elan with an Alter Self to kobold. XD

[licoot]

He looks like he should be a chaotic good bard. Like Elan with an Alter Self to kobold. XD
a bit yeah:smallbiggrin:

[Lix Lorn]

I want to play a chaotic good kobold bard now. XD

[Zanaril]

He looks like he should be a chaotic good bard. Like Elan with an Alter Self to kobold. XD

...can't unsee...

[Lix Lorn]

Why would you want to?

[Zanaril]

Why would you want to?

Because - this being the crack pairings thread - of some of the possible reasons he might want to be a kobold temporarily.

Also Belkar is probably going to harvest his kidneys.

[Lix Lorn]

ElanYikYik?

[ShinyDelusion]

Here's the next installment of my AulaxTiberiusxAarindarius thingie:


“Master,” said the dark-haired elf timidly, fidgeting with the pages of his spellbook, which he held before him almost like a shield.

“What is it, Dominic?” said Aarindarius, looking up from a book about how to collect herbs that could be used as spell components.

“About last year…” The boy bit his lip, stared at the ground. “The rabbits,” he choked out at last, “I never apologized for what I did. I’m sorry.”

“You did apologize,” said Aarindarius, a little too quickly; that day had come up often enough in his trances that he knew every detail intimately.

“I…” Dominic said, his voice cracking, his usually pale face burning red with shame, “I was not sincere, that first time. Today I am.”

“You are?” said Aarindarius, raising an eyebrow and trying to make eye-contact with the boy.

“When I go adventuring,” his student said, “I think I’d like to be the party healer.”

“That will take some learning,” said Aarindarius, rising from his chair and turning to a bookshelf, running his finger along the spines of the books in search of some medical title, “And it will be difficult learning for you Dominic; so far you’ve only ever taken ranks in Knowledge, and Healing is Wisdom.” He glanced over his shoulder. “Are you sure you’re ready for this?”

The boy met his eyes at last. “Yes.”

Aarindarius smiled as his eyes slowly opened. That had been one of the best trances he’d had in weeks. He blinked a few times, startled, as his own flustered reflection blinked back at him.

“Good morning,” said the blue-haired elf beside his reflection. Aarindarius turned his head away from the mirror on the ceiling.

“Tiberius,” he sighed, shaking his head, “I’ll never get used to waking up here.” But at least I have clothes on this time… he added to himself.

“Pity,” Tiberius replied, sitting up, “And quite a surprise, considering how much you’ve been over here this past month. I do believe this is your eighth visit in the past twenty days. Although, I might point out, it is the first where you actually wanted to just talk.” With a wink he added, “Not that we mind.”

Aarindarius shook his head. “You must be rubbing off on me—don’t.”

Tiberius obediently bit back the obvious joke, instead giggling mischievously. “Are you feeling better?” he asked after a pause.

“Yes,” said Aarindarius emphatically, also sitting up, “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” said Tiberius. “You know, it’s definitely for the best that you’re finally feeling like yourself again,” he said casually, “The way you’ve been visiting Aula and me so much right after your student left… Well, what will the parents say?”

“Your shameless!” Aarindarius declared, falling back on the bed and grinning up at his reflection and the upturned blue tassel that was Tiberius’s hair. Rubbing his eyes, he asked, “Where’s Aula?”

“Gone to pay Hortensia a visit,” Tiberius replied.

“The cleric?”

“Mm-hm.”

“I thought she wasn’t her type.”

Tiberius let out a short bark of a laugh. “First of all, friend,” he said, “You know as well as I do that Aula’s ‘type’ is ‘has a body’—”

“I was talking about Hortensia…” Aarindarius murmured.

“Secondly,” Tiberius continued, “She wants to see if she’s pregnant yet, silly. You know we’ve been trying since we got married.”

“Oh,” said Aarindarius, “Right.”

“I hope we’ll have a girl first,” said Tiberius dreamily, lying back down next to Aarindarius, “It’ll be like having two Aulas around the house.”

Trying to put all the possible implications of that statement out of his mind, Aarindarius said jokingly, “If I were you, I’d just hope it was yours.”

Tiberius shrugged. “I just want to raise a nice big family with her; I have for a long time. You know that.”

“Yes, I know,” Aarindarius said solemnly, wondering if Tiberius was about the bring up—

“That’s why Clarissa and I divorced after just twenty-five years, you know,” said Tiberius simply, “We couldn’t have children. She’s had three little girls with her new husband, now.”

The statement hung in the air a long time.

“I’m sorry,” said Aarindarius at last, turning his head to look at his friend.

Tiberius shrugged again. “Aula and I will have a lot of kids. I know we will.” He turned his head to look at Aarindarius, staring into his friend’s shimmering violet eyes. He smiled. “Cheer up,” he said.

Aarindarius smiled back weakly.

“That’s just pitiful,” said Tiberius with a scoff, sitting up. “I guess I’ll just have to cheer you up myself.”

“Get off,” said Aarindarius, rolling his eyes as his friend advanced upon him.

“Give me one good reason,” said Tiberius before ducking down quickly to nip his friend on the ear.

“Hey!” the lavender-haired elf cried, blushing a deep crimson.

“That’s what I thought,” said Tiberius, beginning to repeat the movement before stopping mid-nibble. “I’m hungry.”

“I’ll make you breakfast,” Aarindarius said quickly.

“Will it be chocolate cake?” asked Tiberius with enthusiasm, seeming to have forgotten what he’d been planning to do.

“For breakfast?”

“Yeah,” said Tiberius, starting to slide off the bed, “That way we can finish this up while it’s baking.”

“Fine,” said Aarindarius, sitting up. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t stop his petulant scowl from melting into an eager grin.


There's probably some deviation from Smurf-Cannon in there, but I hope she will find it forgivable.

Comments appreciated.

[Tira-chan]

Part 2 time!

I'm using newMovie!canon for this fic, since it brings up an interesting plot point between the two of them. That being said, this plot point is a MAJOR spoiler for the movie, so if you haven't seen it yet and are planning to at some point... well, you've Been Warned.


First Officer's Log, Stardate: still unknown
I have decided to make an alliance with the adventuring party known as the Order of the Stick. They seem to be a fairly noble group, but I have serious concerns as to their efficiency. Nearly every member, including their leader, exhibits highly illogical behavior, and they quarrel almost constantly.
The world in which I have found refuge is highly unusual in its similarities to Earth. Several of its inhabitants refer to themselves as humans. However, there is also a large number of other sapient beings that I have never heard of before. There is also a strange sort of system to this world - there is constant talk of 'levels' and 'experience,' as if it was some mathematical force governing the entire universe. It is possibly related to the magic they claim to practice, which I plan to seek further data on. I have been offered instruction on this topic by the party's wizard, an 'elf' (query meaning of this term to captain) known as Vaarsuvius, who seems to be the most sensible of the six, and appears to belong to a species remarkably similar to my own. (Aside to the Captain, who, I am sure, will read this report - please do not make any personal remarks in your log on this topic. The ones concerning Lt. Uhura and myself are also unnecessary.)

"So you're from space? That is SO cool. What's it like in space? Do you wear a helmet and eat funny ice cream all the time? Is your planet one of the ice ones, or one of the fire ones?"
Spock had spent all day resisting the urge to sigh. The blonde human seemed to be enthralled with him; he certainly seemed curious. "As I have explained before, the ships in which we travel are entirely enclosed, so I may simply wear my uniform, and a replicator can provide food of any variety. As for my planet it is - or rather, it was - of varied climates, similar to Earth itself." He paused. He had no desire to discuss the loss of his home with anyone, much less the bard, but he was sure he was going to ask. The question was forming on his lips before Vaarsuvius interrupted.
"I believe it has reached the first burgeoning hours of twilight," said the elf, perhaps rather louder than was necessary. "It would be advisable to stop here for now, Sir Greenhilt."
"Great," replied a thankful Roy. It'd been a long day of walking, and Elan was rubbing on his last nerve, too. "Hey V, weren't you going to go over some magic with Spock or something?"
"Yes, I had planned on that. I believe it would be conductive to attempt this exercise some distance from the remainder of the party, based on the quantity of noise that usually ensues from any such activity. This way, Mr. Spock, if it pleases you."
"Certainly."
The elf led them to a small clearing, and Spock took a seat on a convenient stump. Vaarsuvius was slightly amused to notice that he had pulled out his pencil and notebook again.
"So, it is your desire to learn to master the most mighty and complex of forces, that of magic, which governs over much of this world?"
"It would seem logical, yes."
"Very well, then. It is a difficult art, and not one which should be taken lightly. However, I shall make an endeavor to convey as much of my not inconsiderable knowledge as best I can, a lengthy task though it may be."
Vaarsuvius proceeded to do exactly that. It was indeed a lengthy task - two hours later, the elf was finally winding down, after having touched on topics stemming from basic magical theory to complex hypotheses of Vaarsuvius' own. And Spock had written it all down. Vaarsuvius was not so much amused as impressed. Still there was something else the elf wanted to ask about.
"Please forgive my intrusion into what I'm sure are extremely private matters, but I must ask you. Earlier I believed you described your planet using the past tense. Is there a particular reason behind this?"
"Yes," he replied, as calmly as before. "It was destroyed by a madman seeking revenge."
"Then I am extremely sorry for you. I as well nearly lost my family recently. It was through some... extremely questionable application of magic that they were saved."
"Then you were luckier than I was."
There was a pause. "Do you wish to continue the instruction tomorrow."
"Yes. I believe that would be the logical course of action."

Over the next few days, a pattern started to develop. Every evening, the two would walk off alone for Vaarsuvius' magic instructions. The elf was enthusiastic about the subject, and the Vulcan a fast learner. At last, the subject of practical lessons came up.
"I believe that it would be an advisable course of action for you to attempt actual spellcasting. It would at least act as a barometer for how far you have come in your knowledge."
"I had thought it took several years, even decades to master?"
"If one is a beginner, certainly. But one of the logical departures which this universe too often forces upon us, it is far easier for someone with past experience of any nature to master the control of this delicate art. Try a Dancing Lights spell." Vaarsuvius cast the spell easily, Spock watching carefully. The four pink lights danced in the fading sunset.
His own attempts were less successful; the words were easy enough, but the hand motions were fairly complicated. Vaarsuvius watched with a dissatisfied expression.
"Like this," said the elf firmly, grabbing the other's wrist, causing him to grow unusually still. Vaarsuvius ignored his reaction, moving his hand in the correct motions. The next attempt was more successful; four blinking blue lights joined the pink ones.
"Fascinating," he murmured, staring transfixedly at the lights. "It produces a most... unexpected sensation."
"You find it distasteful?"
"On the contrary, it is actually quite pleasurable."
There was a pause in the conversation. Vaarsuvius suddenly realized they were standing extremely close together. The lights seemed to reflect this, as they grew closer, shining a pale purple light on the pair. Vaarsuvius dismissed the spell with an emphatic wave. "An extremely successful lesson. I would advise you to study what I have already taught you about the different schools of magic, and consider a possible specialization."
"I shall make an effort to do so."
The elf left the clearing they had been using, wearing an oddly bemused look. Spock remained for a second as if considering something; then he too returned to the camp, his own spell blinking out as he left the range.


Wow, it's hard to avoid pronouns. >_>

[ShinyDelusion]

Ooo, nice update, Tira-chan! Elan babbling questions at Spock made me laugh, and the bit at the end with their lights dancing together made me d'aww. Can't wait to see what's next! So did this Spock end up on OotSverse during the movie or at some ambiguous point afterward?

[Tira-chan]

Ooo, nice update, Tira-chan! Elan babbling questions at Spock made me laugh, and the bit at the end with their lights dancing together made me d'aww. Can't wait to see what's next! So did this Spock end up on OotSverse during the movie or at some ambiguous point afterward?

Ambiguous point afterward. Presumably the Enterprise was doin' it's thing when they ran into the "quantum barrier" mentioned at the beginning of the first chapter (total Treknobabble on my part, btw). It caused a Transporter Accident(TM), stranding him there with some barely functioning gear. Why exactly all this happened, I have no idea, but it fits the usual vague explanations for the setup behind most Original Series episodes. :smallsmile:

[CoffeeIncluded]

Oooh! Nice update, both of you!

Chocolate cake for breakfast? Can I come? Pleeaaase?

And Elan with Spock made me laugh too. Even in space, he's genre savvy.

[ShinyDelusion]

Ambiguous point afterward. Presumably the Enterprise was doin' it's thing when they ran into the "quantum barrier" mentioned at the beginning of the first chapter (total Treknobabble on my part, btw). It caused a Transporter Accident(TM), stranding him there with some barely functioning gear. Why exactly all this happened, I have no idea, but it fits the usual vague explanations for the setup behind most Original Series episodes. :smallsmile:

Ah, that makes sense. Do you plan on having any "meanwhile, back on the Enterprise" interludes that will show us how much trouble they're having getting him back (assuming a B-plot involving Klingons didn't generate in the meantime)?


Oooh! Nice update, both of you!

Chocolate cake for breakfast? Can I come? Pleeaaase?

Thanks!

Of course! It's made of milk, flour, and eggs, among other things, which means it's healthy, which means it's the perfect breakfast food!

[CoffeeIncluded]

Of course! It's made of milk, flour, and eggs, among other things, which means it's healthy, which means it's the perfect breakfast food!

And chocolate! Did you know that chocolate's good for you when consumed in moderation?

[Tira-chan]

Ah, that makes sense. Do you plan on having any "meanwhile, back on the Enterprise" interludes that will show us how much trouble they're having getting him back (assuming a B-plot involving Klingons didn't generate in the meantime)?


Hmm, hadn't thought of that. Probably not, since I don't have much faith in my ability to write any of the other Trek characters, and my lack of knowledge about what level of tech they might reasonably have is astoundingly low, but it might make for an amusing interlude.

[ShinyDelusion]

And chocolate! Did you know that chocolate's good for you when consumed in moderation?

Precisely. Tiberius knows all about health. *nodnod*


Hmm, hadn't thought of that. Probably not, since I don't have much faith in my ability to write any of the other Trek characters, and my lack of knowledge about what level of tech they might reasonably have is astoundingly low, but it might make for an amusing interlude.

It could. I also thought it might be funny if some Enterprise crewmembers got a chance to briefly encounter some OotS characters.

[CoffeeIncluded]

Precisely. Tiberius knows all about health. *nodnod*



It could. I also thought it might be funny if some Enterprise crewmembers got a chance to briefly encounter some OotS characters.

So is he a doctor? :smalltongue:

Ooh! That would be awesome!

Hey, Water-Smurf! How's the break going so far?

[ShinyDelusion]

So is he a doctor? :smalltongue:

He probably knows how to play doctor...

[Draconi Redfir]

i see your going off the new star trek movie's continueity. Vulcan was never distroyed in the TV shows.

[Tira-chan]

i see your going off the new star trek movie's continueity. Vulcan was never distroyed in the TV shows.

Um, yeah, that's what my author's note said, though I'd prefer it if you didn't post such blatant spoilers openly. It's mostly because my Spock doll was released for the movie, and that's what kickstarted their relationship. But it also brings up a very interesting point that I plan to use later as a source of conflict. *rest spoilers for both movie and fic*

Namely, on the surface, they're in very similar situations. Both of them experienced a violent threat to their family, brought about by someone seeking revenge against them personally, and both of them ended up compromising their principles because of it. But really V and Nero are the two who have more in common - both of them were willing to commit genocide because they were upset about what had or could happen to their families. Their methods were quite different (25 years of planning vs. a few minutes of passion and possession) but the scale is still closer. There will definitely be some conflict from V seeing the comparison, and I'm looking very forward to exploring it. :smallamused:

[Asta Kask]

Here's the next installment of my AulaxTiberiusxAarindarius thingie:



*story*



There's probably some deviation from Smurf-Cannon in there, but I hope she will find it forgivable.

Comments appreciated.

I think you mean Smurf-Canon. Although a Smurf-Cannon would be interesting. I wonder how far the little suckers can fly with the proper incentive... :smallsmile:

You have a very good grasp of dialogue - it's difficult to write without it sounding forced or formal. This flows excellently. Well done. I'll let other weigh in on characterization - I'm not that familiar with the characters.

Tira-Chan - praise all around. You have a good grasp of Spock's personality and I laughed a lot at Elan's questions...b:smallsmile:

[Lix Lorn]

I really liked both the two chapters i saw! ^_^
I am almost tempted to ship the entire two casts together. XD

[ShinyDelusion]

I think you mean Smurf-Canon. Although a Smurf-Cannon would be interesting. I wonder how far the little suckers can fly with the proper incentive... :smallsmile:

Oops! :smallredface: Yeah, that's what I meant, although now I have a nice, entertaining, mental image to get me through today's less-than-pleasant moments :smallamused:


You have a very good grasp of dialogue - it's difficult to write without it sounding forced or formal. This flows excellently. Well done. I'll let other weigh in on characterization - I'm not that familiar with the characters.

Thank you! :smallsmile:

[Sereg]

I also enjoyed Shiny's and Tira-chan's latest work. Oh, and as I forgot to mention it last time: Yes, I am a Discworld fan, however, I've only read a few of the novels so far, it's a large series to get through.

[Zanaril]

Here's the next installment of my AulaxTiberiusxAarindarius thingie:

Comments appreciated.
They have a mirror above their bed? *snort* Why am I not surprised...

I love it; Tiberius is adorably childish. :smallbiggrin:

[Lix Lorn]

Hehe. Mirror.

I seem to have combined the image. My mental picture is of Water-Smurf (Who looks like Tiasal in my head) being launched out of a cannon. O_o

(Goes to catch)

[Asta Kask]

Or perhaps the Smurf-Cannon is her cannon, where she tests her plot-bunnies to see if they would fly?

There's a Swedish novel where the protagonist shoots turkeys at commercial airplanes who take off from the airfield near him.

[Kaytara]

Loving the VxSpock so far. :D However, I feel that they are almost too perfect for each other. I would figure that V's bouts of impatience and explosive outbursts would have a tendency to clash more with Spock's Vulcanness.

[Lix Lorn]

That's incredibly poetic. Have a virtual cookie. (Gives)

Is good point. I think the author was planning on that-not to mention the soul splice coming back to bite V in the butt.

[CoffeeIncluded]

They have a mirror above their bed? *snort* Why am I not surprised...

...Why are you not surprised that they have a mirror above their bed?

...Wait, why do they have a mirror above their bed? :smallconfused:

[Zanaril]

...Why are you not surprised that they have a mirror above their bed?

...Wait, why do they have a mirror above their bed? :smallconfused:

A kinky combination of voyeurism and narcissism.

[Asta Kask]

So they can shave without leaving bed?

[Zanaril]

So they can shave without leaving bed?

Do elves even need to shave? 0_o

[CoffeeIncluded]

A kinky combination of voyeurism and narcissism.

I suppose this is the part where it becomes very, very clear that despite my presence on this thread, I am a sexually inexperienced, naive teenager. :smalltongue: (Can you PM the explanation, because I'm not sure I get it. :smalltongue:)


So they can shave without leaving bed?

I don't think elves grow facial hair. (Which supports the low-testosterone theory.)

[Zanaril]

I suppose this is the part where it becomes very, very clear that despite my presence on this thread, I am a sexually inexperienced, naive teenager. :smalltongue: (Can you PM the explanation, because I'm not sure I get it. :smalltongue:)
They like watching themselves have sex. Simple as that. :smalltongue:

At least I'm assuming that's why there's a mirror. You'd have to ask ShinyDelusion for a definite answer.

[CoffeeIncluded]

They like watching themselves have sex. Simple as that. :smalltongue:

At least I'm assuming that's why there's a mirror. You'd have to ask ShinyDelusion for a definite answer.
Ah. That's what I thought.

I don't think I can do new crack pairings this week. Too busy.

[Asta Kask]

I don't think elves grow facial hair. (Which supports the low-testosterone theory.)

Who said anything about facial hair?

[Zanaril]

Who said anything about facial hair?

Or any body hair.

[Asta Kask]

I don't remember such stipulations. Human females seem to be able to grow them, despite having much lower testosterone levels than males. And given that testosterone controls the libido, elven females would almost have to have testosterone levels far exceeding that of the average Olympic athlete.

[Zanaril]

And given that testosterone controls the libido, elven females would almost have to have testosterone levels far exceeding that of the average Olympic athlete.

I don't think Aula's libido should be taken as the elven average.

[Asta Kask]

I don't think Aula's libido should be taken as the elven average.

So? It's Aula we're talking about, isn't it? :smallbiggrin:

[Zanaril]

So? It's Aula we're talking about, isn't it? :smallbiggrin:

Touché.

But you said elven females.

[Asta Kask]

Touché.

But you said elven females.

Well, there's her daughter, who is part of - what? - 40% of all crack pairings. I haven't seen V/ADB though. Perhaps Closak should write that.

[Zanaril]

I haven't seen V/ADB though. Perhaps Closak should write that.
We have had V/ABD but... V is never particually happy about the pairing.

[Taekwondodo]

Scene Three, no singing but it's a shorter one. (Also I couldn't find anywhere a song would fit!)

(Scene Three. Curtain opens on R, Tsukiko and Xykon at stone table. Papers are scattered over it and Jirix is giving a report. R is frowning at the table. X is angry but only sign are the darting glances given to him by T and J and his halting delivery of the news.)

J: Groups of, um, hobgoblins have been, erm, searching the, eh, tunnels where the phylactery was, em, seen to fall. So far it has not, urm, been found which leaves the, er, sewage treatment plant, the, um, labyrinth and the, em, ocean.
R: That’s enough, Jirix. (R stands up) Organize teams of our most trusted soldiers and start by to search the treatment plant.


(J looks relieved. Grabs reports and hurries out of room)

X (dangerously soft): So. We still don’t have my phylactery, Redcloak.


(R keeps eyes down. T stands up slowly and backs away from table)

R: That’s what he just said.
X: This is because of your ‘sources of information.’
R: You can’t kill them. They’re the only ones who we have that can tell us anything about the locations of the next gates.
X (disdainful): Oh yeah. Like that’s what you want. We’ve had the damn paladin for months and we have nothing. And I’ve noticed the nights you’ve gone missing to the elf.


(R frowns, looks up at X)

R: What are you implying?
X: Implying nothing. I’m saying that you’re sleeping with the damn thing.


(R shakes his head, rubs temples, exasperated.)

R: Xykon, we’re doing all we can to find the phylactery. Try to be patient just a lit—
X: I’M DONE BEING PATIENT!


(R is blown back along with the table, which lands on top of him)

X: IT’S BECAUSE OF YOUR FRICKING PRISONERS! (looses another spell, hitting R. Blood streams down R’s face and he whimpers) Oh, you want me to stop? (leans down and grabs R’s head) Let me tell you, Reddy—we’ve barely gotten started.


(T runs out of room while X distracted. Curtain closes. Sounds of a beating continue.)

(Curtain opens. Room is dark. R lying where he fell, still under table, unconscious. He is obviously grievously hurt. Starts to wake up and groans. Pushes table off. Starts trying to assess damage but finds a post-it note)

R: ‘If you do anything but the healing you need to live through tomorrow, I’ll make sure you don’t even see tomorrow.’ (Groans again. Drops note and puts hands on stomach) Cure Minor Wounds.


(R screams)

R (panting): I know...it hurts, just...the...healing, have to...keep...going... Cure Minor Wounds!


(More screaming, writhing in pain)

R: Cure Minor Wounds!


(Screams again they lies still for a moment. Slowly and painfully turns over and crawls to the door. Curtain closes)

(Curtain opens. R walks into V’s room carrying a mug. V sits up on the bed. R, trying not to limp, walks to bed and holds out mug)

R: Milk with honey and cinnamon, it’s supposed to help with sleep. And it’s good for elves. Don’t worry—I didn’t drug it.


(V nods and takes mug)

V: …Thank you.


(R settles on foot of bed with a slight sigh, watching V drink)

R: You haven’t been trancing.
V: You weren’t here yesterday or the day before.


(R shrugs)

V: You’re hurt.
R: What gave you that idea?


(V looks angry and crosses arms)

V: Treat me as a prisoner if you wish, but do not insult my intelligence. You were limping when you came in, areas of your body are bulging slightly under your clothes—probably bandages—and you have a contusion along with a deep abrasion on the back of your head, among other things. It did not take much deduction.


(R looks away but is smiling)

R: What can I say? You know, if I were in your shoes, I’d watch what I was saying a little more closely. Trance. Your healing’s probably been set back a few days.
V: When are you going to treat me as you have obviously treated the paladin?


(R pauses)

R: When you’re healthy.
V: That seems like a poor incentive to help myself.
R: But you’ll do it anyway. (shrugs) Xykon won’t be patient. He’ll eventually get tired of taking his frustration out on me and move on to you and our other prisoner. At least this way, you might survive.
V: So you are looking out for my welfare?
R: Sure, if you want to look at it that way. I need to keep you alive. Drink more of the milk. It helps with nightmares.


(V stiffens, alarmed)

V: I…! How did you know about those?!
R: You somehow felt that having your fingers removed would be better than trancing and you refuse to trance unless someone is with you. It did not take much deduction.
V: I…
R: Don’t worry about it. We’ve all messed up badly at some point or another or gone through something that made nightmares. Just finish the drink.
V: Very well.


(V puts down mug and trances. R falls asleep soon after. Curtain closes. End of Scene Three)

[ShinyDelusion]

I also enjoyed Shiny's and Tira-chan's latest work. Oh, and as I forgot to mention it last time: Yes, I am a Discworld fan, however, I've only read a few of the novels so far, it's a large series to get through.

Thanks. Have fun with the rest of the Discworld series; it may be long, but it's totally worth the time.


They have a mirror above their bed? *snort* Why am I not surprised...

I love it; Tiberius is adorably childish. :smallbiggrin:

I'd hoped someone would appreciate that detail. :smallamused:

Thanks!

Nice update, Taekwondo. Would've been nice to have a song, but I can't see where one would fit either, so I guess there wasn't much to be done about that. Can't wait for the next update!

[Lix Lorn]

Loved it, as always! <3

[licoot]

Scene Three, no singing but it's a shorter one. (Also I couldn't find anywhere a song would fit!)

(Scene Three. Curtain opens on R, Tsukiko and Xykon at stone table. Papers are scattered over it and Jirix is giving a report. R is frowning at the table. X is angry but only sign are the darting glances given to him by T and J and his halting delivery of the news.)

J: Groups of, um, hobgoblins have been, erm, searching the, eh, tunnels where the phylactery was, em, seen to fall. So far it has not, urm, been found which leaves the, er, sewage treatment plant, the, um, labyrinth and the, em, ocean.
R: That’s enough, Jirix. (R stands up) Organize teams of our most trusted soldiers and start by to search the treatment plant.


(J looks relieved. Grabs reports and hurries out of room)

X (dangerously soft): So. We still don’t have my phylactery, Redcloak.


(R keeps eyes down. T stands up slowly and backs away from table)

R: That’s what he just said.
X: This is because of your ‘sources of information.’
R: You can’t kill them. They’re the only ones who we have that can tell us anything about the locations of the next gates.
X (disdainful): Oh yeah. Like that’s what you want. We’ve had the damn paladin for months and we have nothing. And I’ve noticed the nights you’ve gone missing to the elf.


(R frowns, looks up at X)

R: What are you implying?
X: Implying nothing. I’m saying that you’re sleeping with the damn thing.


(R shakes his head, rubs temples, exasperated.)

R: Xykon, we’re doing all we can to find the phylactery. Try to be patient just a lit—
X: I’M DONE BEING PATIENT!


(R is blown back along with the table, which lands on top of him)

X: IT’S BECAUSE OF YOUR FRICKING PRISONERS! (looses another spell, hitting R. Blood streams down R’s face and he whimpers) Oh, you want me to stop? (leans down and grabs R’s head) Let me tell you, Reddy—we’ve barely gotten started.


(T runs out of room while X distracted. Curtain closes. Sounds of a beating continue.)

(Curtain opens. Room is dark. R lying where he fell, still under table, unconscious. He is obviously grievously hurt. Starts to wake up and groans. Pushes table off. Starts trying to assess damage but finds a post-it note)

R: ‘If you do anything but the healing you need to live through tomorrow, I’ll make sure you don’t even see tomorrow.’ (Groans again. Drops note and puts hands on stomach) Cure Minor Wounds.


(R screams)

R (panting): I know...it hurts, just...the...healing, have to...keep...going... Cure Minor Wounds!


(More screaming, writhing in pain)

R: Cure Minor Wounds!


(Screams again they lies still for a moment. Slowly and painfully turns over and crawls to the door. Curtain closes)

(Curtain opens. R walks into V’s room carrying a mug. V sits up on the bed. R, trying not to limp, walks to bed and holds out mug)

R: Milk with honey and cinnamon, it’s supposed to help with sleep. And it’s good for elves. Don’t worry—I didn’t drug it.


(V nods and takes mug)

V: …Thank you.


(R settles on foot of bed with a slight sigh, watching V drink)

R: You haven’t been trancing.
V: You weren’t here yesterday or the day before.


(R shrugs)

V: You’re hurt.
R: What gave you that idea?


(V looks angry and crosses arms)

V: Treat me as a prisoner if you wish, but do not insult my intelligence. You were limping when you came in, areas of your body are bulging slightly under your clothes—probably bandages—and you have a contusion along with a deep abrasion on the back of your head, among other things. It did not take much deduction.


(R looks away but is smiling)

R: What can I say? You know, if I were in your shoes, I’d watch what I was saying a little more closely. Trance. Your healing’s probably been set back a few days.
V: When are you going to treat me as you have obviously treated the paladin?


(R pauses)

R: When you’re healthy.
V: That seems like a poor incentive to help myself.
R: But you’ll do it anyway. (shrugs) Xykon won’t be patient. He’ll eventually get tired of taking his frustration out on me and move on to you and our other prisoner. At least this way, you might survive.
V: So you are looking out for my welfare?
R: Sure, if you want to look at it that way. I need to keep you alive. Drink more of the milk. It helps with nightmares.


(V stiffens, alarmed)

V: I…! How did you know about those?!
R: You somehow felt that having your fingers removed would be better than trancing and you refuse to trance unless someone is with you. It did not take much deduction.
V: I…
R: Don’t worry about it. We’ve all messed up badly at some point or another or gone through something that made nightmares. Just finish the drink.
V: Very well.


(V puts down mug and trances. R falls asleep soon after. Curtain closes. End of Scene Three)

awesome story:smallsmile:

[Water-Smurf]

Sorry for the radio silence, guys--I got a new laptop for my birthday, then my dog got sick, and now I need to set this baby up with all the programs I had before. I'll reply to everything soon--I'm just figuring out my settings and such and making sure my puppy is okay. (Oh, and I'm also trying to get used to the new keyboard. These arrow keys are tiny...)

[CoffeeIncluded]

Sorry for the radio silence, guys--I got a new laptop for my birthday, then my dog got sick, and now I need to set this baby up with all the programs I had before. I'll reply to everything soon--I'm just figuring out my settings and such and making sure my puppy is okay. (Oh, and I'm also trying to get used to the new keyboard. These arrow keys are tiny...)

Enjoy your new laptop, and hope your dog gets better!

Really nice adaptation, Taekwondo.

[Lix Lorn]

Good luck, W-Smurf! (hugs you and the puppy)

[Draconi Redfir]

We could always have a song at the point were Xylon is beating up Reddy. Perhaps something along the lines of:

"I hate everything about you" (thee days grace)

"This animal I have become" (three days grace)

"Indestructible" (disturbed)

"One step closer (to the edge)" (Linken park)

"Shut up" (linken park)

"Head strong" (trapt)


I mostly imagine Xylon singing parody-versions of these songs while beating up red quite violently. I’d provide links, but I’m not quite sure if I’m allowed.

[Sereg]

Another excellent scene, Taekwondodo.

@Water-Smurf: I also hope that the puppy is ok. It's nice that you got a laptop though.

[Asta Kask]

Sorry for the radio silence, guys--I got a new laptop for my birthday, then my dog got sick, and now I need to set this baby up with all the programs I had before. I'll reply to everything soon--I'm just figuring out my settings and such and making sure my puppy is okay. (Oh, and I'm also trying to get used to the new keyboard. These arrow keys are tiny...)

*hugs for you and the puppy*

Hope it will turn out ok. *frets*

Liked the adaptation Taekwondodo. Living with Xykon sure is... interesting.

[Tira-chan]

So, it turns out I'm a blatant liar. After thinking about it, I've decided to through in a little mini-chapter about the crew of the Enterprise. It was surprisingly hard to write, since I wanted the characterization to be distinct from the series - after all, these people are a lot younger, and most of them still have some growing up to do. That being said, though, it'll probably all just sound terribly out of character.


Captain's Log, Stardate 2259.15
It's been a couple of days since the accident with the transporter, and there's no word from Spock. Mr. Scott says the transporter will be fully optional soon, but as Spock is completely off our sensors, we have no way of picking him up. To some extent, I feel guilty for what happened to him. Had I insisted more firmly on accompanying him, we would probably have been stranded together.

"See, what I don't understand, Jim, is why you seem to have promoted me to First Officer. Don't you have anyone else you can go to for advice? I've got real patients to take care off."
"Guess you're just the best, then. It's just, I don't know what to do. If something really has happened to him -"
Crackle. "Captain, we're receiving a signal from Mr. Spock's communicator. It's not very clear, but we might be able to locate him."
"That's great, Uhura? Can you get through to him or something?"
"Nope, it's just static." There was a slightly icy pause. "And it's Lieutenant Uhura, if you please." Another pause. "Captain."
"Well, it's better than nothing, Lieutenant. See if you can strengthen the signal any."
"I was doing that already, actually," she snapped back, and closed the connection. Kirk sighed.
"Cheer up, Jim. Looks like the situation's halfway resolved already. Once the transporters are back online, we'll have everything resolved in a jiffy, and it'll put Uhura in a better mood, too."
"I suppose... But I'm not even sure what all this damn barrier does. It completely screwed up the transporters the first time, what if it does it again?" He sighed again. "Spock's supposed to be the one who knows these kinds of things."


I'll continue the main story in a little bit, but I'm kinda occupied with school-type stuffs at the moment.

In other news, I really hate to be a bother, but if anyone had any art-type stuff or something... I'd really love to see something like that. But please, if you don't want to, then don't worry about it!

[Asta Kask]

Liked it, though it's a bit short to say much about characterization.

Art stuff? You may have to be more specific.

[Lix Lorn]

It looks good! Only thing is, maybe Kirk would be unwilling to admit he wasn't sure?
Indestructible is a good song. It would work better for the canon fight between Xykon and V though.

[Taekwondodo]

We could always have a song at the point were Xylon is beating up Reddy. Perhaps something along the lines of:

"I hate everything about you" (thee days grace)

"This animal I have become" (three days grace)

"Indestructible" (disturbed)

"One step closer (to the edge)" (Linken park)

"Shut up" (linken park)

"Head strong" (trapt)


I mostly imagine Xylon singing parody-versions of these songs while beating up red quite violently. I’d provide links, but I’m not quite sure if I’m allowed.

Having a song at that point would have meant showing the beating. This way (closing the curtain and opening on his injuries) leaves the details to the viewer's mind, which I think was more effective.

Nice update Tira-chan. On the first page, after the list of stories, there is a compilation of art if that is what you were looking for.

[Lix Lorn]

I Hate Everything About You would fit Tiasal if Deirdre happens?
Or Animal I Have Become could fit the same...

[half-halfling]

My mental picture is of Water-Smurf (Who looks like Tiasal in my head) being launched out of a cannon. O_o

(Goes to catch)


You mean like this? :

http://i750.photobucket.com/albums/xx144/half-halfling/TT.png


Vaarsuvius x Spock was great! I liked latest ShinyDelusion's about V's parent and Aarindarius too.

[Asta Kask]

You mean like this? :

http://i750.photobucket.com/albums/xx144/half-halfling/TT.png


Yes... errr... something like that. Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear.

[Draconi Redfir]

think you forgot the dragon tatoo(dragonmark?) on tuski :P

[Lix Lorn]

Okay, i love you. xD

(Will i be shot if i ship TsukikoTiasal?)

[CoffeeIncluded]

That picture is hilarious.

I'd ask, but I'm sure she'd be okay with it.

[Asta Kask]

Okay, i love you. xD

(Will i be shot if i ship TsukikoTiasal?)

Water-Smurf won't shoot you. She's more likely to ship you with Grubwiggle and write about it on FF... :smallwink:

[Lix Lorn]

XD
Who's Grubwiggle?

[Asta Kask]

Isn't that the wizard who makes golems? Or was he named something else?

[Lix Lorn]

Oh, him. XD Eh, go ahead. I once wrote Undead!MexTsukiko.

[CoffeeIncluded]

Oh, him. XD Eh, go ahead. I once wrote Undead!MexTsukiko.

No! Not allowed by forum rules! Drop the subject!

[Lix Lorn]

Nothere, of course. Bad idea. Offtopic Bad.

So. MikoTiasal?
(Shipping random people with Tiasal for the fun)

[Asta Kask]

Tiasal/Xykon is the obvious, of course. And we all know that Water-Smurf has taken Tiasal into places none of us are comfortable with, so some other pairings are off-limits as well. She has O-Chul as a mentor and friend - what if she tried to seduce him? And of course, Elan has all the sexual charisma you might look for in a man (if the brains of a hedgehog.)

[Draconi Redfir]

just to screw with your minds:

Tiassal x right-eye.

tiassal x right-eye's daughter



deeeewww iiiiittt :P

[The Dark Fiddler]

And we all know that Water-Smurf has taken Tiasal into places none of us are comfortable with

Can't speak for me. I still haven't been seriously (as in, outside of joking, not as a measure of intensity) squicked by the thread.

Edit: I'm sure that says very strange things about me. :smallconfused:

[Lix Lorn]

Very few people are truly comfortable with the things i shall not say cause they're icky and not allowed.

TiasalAbram? Not so much crack, but still.

[Water-Smurf]

Only general? We're getting somewhere then!

They trust me to not give out too much information. :smalltongue: 'Sides, I'm old enough so that pedophiles won't be interested in the least.


I'm going to take this as proof that all the stories are in the same continuity. PROOF.

Believe what you want to believe. :smalltongue: I haven't said anything official, so it's open season on speculation.


And two endings for OAWLS? I'm glad it seems we'll get a continuation, but at that point what other way could it go except for world-doomy death and destruction? It seemed hopeless with both Reddy and V being dead.

Trust me to be able to make the ending a little more sweet and a little less bitter. Or make it so bitter that you feel like you need to throw up later.


Scene 2! V sings!!


(Scene 2. Curtain opens, R at window lit by purple light of the Snarl, hobgoblin comes in.)

H: Supreme Leader?


(R spins round and frowns at H)

R: Yes?
H: The prisoner isn’t eating or trancing. She says that she’s not hungry or tired.


(R sighs)

R: I’ll handle it. How’s the search for Xykon’s phylactery?
H: The troops haven’t found it so far.
R: Wonderful. I bet Xykon’s in a great mood about that. You may leave.


(H leaves)

“Unbalanced”

The urge to rip and claw and tear,
Only anger for the elf
Rip flesh from bones and scalp from hair
Yet in it, anger for myself

Why not hurt one in recompense?
Or take out my anger on?
So much worse is their offense
So many blameless goblins gone

So hurt the elf, remind our foes, why we should be feared!
And make the scoreboard, just that bit more balanced.


(Curtain closes. Opens on elf’s room)

R: What’d I say about eating and trancing?
V: I…I am not hungry nor am I tired.
R: Save the lying for interrogation. (picks up bowl and walks to bed) Enjoy the food while you can. This is the best you’re going to get—after you’re healthy, you’ll be living off gruel.


(V shifts into the corner, wary)

V: That seems to defeat the purpose of making me healthy.
R: You’d think so. Alright, you can eat and make at least one of us happy, or you can still resist and make both of us unhappier than we already are.


(V hesitates, R picks up spoon as if to feed her. V holds out hand to stop him)

V: That is quite alright! I can feed myself.
R: Pride is all you have left, elf.


(Gives V spoon but sees her hand is shaking so steadies it with his. V eats.)

V (curious): Why would you do this personally?
R: I’m a hands-on leader, I guess. Besides, your presence is not exactly something I want every foot soldier to know about. (Removes pot and spoon) This is the part where I ‘convince’ you to trance.
V: I am not tired.
R (snarls): No, you’re exhausted! You want to see how many times you can deal with your fingers being ripped off? I may be a lowly cleric but I can regenerate lost limbs.


(V glares while squeezing further into corner)

V: I am not tired. Bring any barbaric torture you wish—I shall not trance.


“Memories”

R: Why not trance? I see no reason in it
This round of wills, there’s no way they can win it.
No rebel sign? An answer must be elsewhere
Refusing sleep, this elf is a nightmare!


(Understanding dawns)

(Spoken) Oh!

Haunted by their past
A sign of guilt at last?
Seems anything’s better than return to memories.

Similar in our hurt
Yet too close for comfort
Both of us trying to escape from memories.

(Spoken) What’s your name?


(V looks up, surprised but wary)

Dark One above! This prisoner, this elf
Without trying reminds me of myself
Grief, remorse and anger, fear and shame
Though they don’t show I know this others pain.

R: What’s your name? Is this a difficult question?
V: I am rather surprised that you care.
R: Filing issues. I can’t exactly call you ‘the elf’ in any records when I start interrogating you. We’re inevitably going to get a few other prisoners that fit that description.
V: Perhaps the elf that helped lose your master’s phylactery?


(V squares shoulders and looks proud)

R: Just give me your name. It’s not like I can do much with it.
V: I would prefer to know who I am speaking to first.
R: Just call me Redcloak. Everyone else does.


(V pauses.)

V: My name is Vaarsuvius. (Looks away, pride drained) I am not tired.


(R frowns)

R: Fine then.


(R settles on the end of the bed. Finds book and flicks through pages)

V: What are you doing?
R: If I’m staying here, I’m going to have something to entertain myself.
V: And why are you staying here?
R: (sighs) It turns out that torture can only do so much, and forcing someone to sleep isn’t included. So I’m staying here until you trance.
V: Excuse me?!
R: You speak Common, right? I’m not leaving until you get at least eight hours of trance. I know that my… associates don’t seem like it, but there are some people here that have more patience than that of a toddler.


(V still looks wary)

R: Don’t flatter yourself or insult me. I’m not like Xykon. I’m not going to hurt you when you’re asleep. Especially in… (Pauses and makes sound of disgust) that way.


(Still wary V lays head on knees and falls into a trance. Curtain closes.)

(Curtain opens. V alone in room. R comes in.)

R: They tell me you’re refusing to trance again.


“Memories – Reprise”

V: This respite cannot last
But while I can I ask
For company can tide against the memories.


(R nods and settles on the end of the bed. Curtain closes, end of scene 2)


Scene 3 will probably take longer as I had actually wrote the songs for 1 and 2 before I even told you about them!

Hey, does anyone know how to write music? I'd like to see how these lyrics sound to a melody. ^.^


Here's not-really-a-pairing Tiasal and Xykon.
Cute picture!
Because I thought I couldn't draw anything weirder.

Awwwww... ^.^ Tiasal looks so innocent and hopeful. And Xykon looks like he has no idea what to do, so he's just going to try to ignore her.


To everyone who says my work is good - thank you all. I need a little ego boost right now (the university is screwing with me... :smallfrown:)

*koala hug of love*


Here's the next installment of my AulaxTiberiusxAarindarius thingie:


“Master,” said the dark-haired elf timidly, fidgeting with the pages of his spellbook, which he held before him almost like a shield.

“What is it, Dominic?” said Aarindarius, looking up from a book about how to collect herbs that could be used as spell components.

“About last year…” The boy bit his lip, stared at the ground. “The rabbits,” he choked out at last, “I never apologized for what I did. I’m sorry.”

“You did apologize,” said Aarindarius, a little too quickly; that day had come up often enough in his trances that he knew every detail intimately.

“I…” Dominic said, his voice cracking, his usually pale face burning red with shame, “I was not sincere, that first time. Today I am.”

“You are?” said Aarindarius, raising an eyebrow and trying to make eye-contact with the boy.

“When I go adventuring,” his student said, “I think I’d like to be the party healer.”

“That will take some learning,” said Aarindarius, rising from his chair and turning to a bookshelf, running his finger along the spines of the books in search of some medical title, “And it will be difficult learning for you Dominic; so far you’ve only ever taken ranks in Knowledge, and Healing is Wisdom.” He glanced over his shoulder. “Are you sure you’re ready for this?”

The boy met his eyes at last. “Yes.”

Aarindarius smiled as his eyes slowly opened. That had been one of the best trances he’d had in weeks. He blinked a few times, startled, as his own flustered reflection blinked back at him.

“Good morning,” said the blue-haired elf beside his reflection. Aarindarius turned his head away from the mirror on the ceiling.

“Tiberius,” he sighed, shaking his head, “I’ll never get used to waking up here.” But at least I have clothes on this time… he added to himself.

“Pity,” Tiberius replied, sitting up, “And quite a surprise, considering how much you’ve been over here this past month. I do believe this is your eighth visit in the past twenty days. Although, I might point out, it is the first where you actually wanted to just talk.” With a wink he added, “Not that we mind.”

Aarindarius shook his head. “You must be rubbing off on me—don’t.”

Tiberius obediently bit back the obvious joke, instead giggling mischievously. “Are you feeling better?” he asked after a pause.

“Yes,” said Aarindarius emphatically, also sitting up, “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” said Tiberius. “You know, it’s definitely for the best that you’re finally feeling like yourself again,” he said casually, “The way you’ve been visiting Aula and me so much right after your student left… Well, what will the parents say?”

“Your shameless!” Aarindarius declared, falling back on the bed and grinning up at his reflection and the upturned blue tassel that was Tiberius’s hair. Rubbing his eyes, he asked, “Where’s Aula?”

“Gone to pay Hortensia a visit,” Tiberius replied.

“The cleric?”

“Mm-hm.”

“I thought she wasn’t her type.”

Tiberius let out a short bark of a laugh. “First of all, friend,” he said, “You know as well as I do that Aula’s ‘type’ is ‘has a body’—”

“I was talking about Hortensia…” Aarindarius murmured.

“Secondly,” Tiberius continued, “She wants to see if she’s pregnant yet, silly. You know we’ve been trying since we got married.”

“Oh,” said Aarindarius, “Right.”

“I hope we’ll have a girl first,” said Tiberius dreamily, lying back down next to Aarindarius, “It’ll be like having two Aulas around the house.”

Trying to put all the possible implications of that statement out of his mind, Aarindarius said jokingly, “If I were you, I’d just hope it was yours.”

Tiberius shrugged. “I just want to raise a nice big family with her; I have for a long time. You know that.”

“Yes, I know,” Aarindarius said solemnly, wondering if Tiberius was about the bring up—

“That’s why Clarissa and I divorced after just twenty-five years, you know,” said Tiberius simply, “We couldn’t have children. She’s had three little girls with her new husband, now.”

The statement hung in the air a long time.

“I’m sorry,” said Aarindarius at last, turning his head to look at his friend.

Tiberius shrugged again. “Aula and I will have a lot of kids. I know we will.” He turned his head to look at Aarindarius, staring into his friend’s shimmering violet eyes. He smiled. “Cheer up,” he said.

Aarindarius smiled back weakly.

“That’s just pitiful,” said Tiberius with a scoff, sitting up. “I guess I’ll just have to cheer you up myself.”

“Get off,” said Aarindarius, rolling his eyes as his friend advanced upon him.

“Give me one good reason,” said Tiberius before ducking down quickly to nip his friend on the ear.

“Hey!” the lavender-haired elf cried, blushing a deep crimson.

“That’s what I thought,” said Tiberius, beginning to repeat the movement before stopping mid-nibble. “I’m hungry.”

“I’ll make you breakfast,” Aarindarius said quickly.

“Will it be chocolate cake?” asked Tiberius with enthusiasm, seeming to have forgotten what he’d been planning to do.

“For breakfast?”

“Yeah,” said Tiberius, starting to slide off the bed, “That way we can finish this up while it’s baking.”

“Fine,” said Aarindarius, sitting up. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t stop his petulant scowl from melting into an eager grin.


There's probably some deviation from Smurf-Cannon in there, but I hope she will find it forgivable.

Comments appreciated.

That made me laugh. :smallbiggrin: You really get them and their relationship. It's adorable, especially how childlike and eager Tiberius is.


Hey, Water-Smurf! How's the break going so far?

I've been catatonic for a while. And dealing with plans and things. But it's going well! :D


*hugs for you and the puppy*

Hope it will turn out ok. *frets*

It turns out that Lucy only had a little virus. We're just going to be giving her some meds for a few days and she'll be okay. :smallsmile: Poor girl--she hated having to spend over night at a vet.


I Hate Everything About You would fit Tiasal if Deirdre happens?

That seems to be a song that describes her feelings towards her family, her father especially.


You mean like this? :

Cannon.


That made me giggle. :smallbiggrin:



(Will i be shot if i ship TsukikoTiasal?)

Ship what you like. That's the right of fans. :smallbiggrin:


Tiasal/Xykon is the obvious, of course. And we all know that Water-Smurf has taken Tiasal into places none of us are comfortable with, so some other pairings are off-limits as well. She has O-Chul as a mentor and friend - what if she tried to seduce him? And of course, Elan has all the sexual charisma you might look for in a man (if the brains of a hedgehog.)

Is it the right time to point out that Tiasal had a huge crush on O-Chul as a child?


just to screw with your minds:

Tiassal x right-eye.

tiassal x right-eye's daughter

Replace 'Tiasal' with 'Deirdre' and you're good. Though I doubt Dierdre would have any interest in Right-Eye's daughter--she doesn't know her, so there's no sense that she's family, and Deirdre has less of an interest in female family members than she does male ones.



Edit: I'm sure that says very strange things about me. :smallconfused:

That just means that you'd fit in well in /b/. :smallwink:



TiasalAbram? Not so much crack, but still.

Canon. She had a crush. Deirdre/Abram? Also canon.

Whoo. Big reply. :smalltongue:

[Lix Lorn]

Canon? Awesome. Now i ship them for teh future. ^_^

[Zanaril]

(Will i be shot if i ship TsukikoTiasal?)
Dooo it! :smallbiggrin:


I haven't said anything official, so it's open season on speculation.
I wonder if anyone sells epileptic tree saplings...


Is it the right time to point out that Tiasal had a huge crush on O-Chul as a child?

Half of this forum seemed to have a crush on O-chul during his shark-punching, loincloth-wearing, Chuck Norris-pwning days. :smalltongue:

[CoffeeIncluded]

Hey, does anyone know how to write music? I'd like to see how these lyrics sound to a melody. ^.^

Sorry, I don't. :smallfrown:


It turns out that Lucy only had a little virus. We're just going to be giving her some meds for a few days and she'll be okay. :smallsmile: Poor girl--she hated having to spend over night at a vet.

Good! :smallsmile:

When Zoe goes to the vet, they have to literally drag her to the back. She hides under the couch and claws at the floor.


Is it the right time to point out that Tiasal had a huge crush on O-Chul as a child?

Yes. Yes it is.



That just means that you'd fit in well in /b/. :smallwink:

You go on /b/?!


Whoo. Big reply. :smalltongue:

I've seen bigger. (Did you see my PMs? Sorry if I sound rude.)

[icastflare!]

You go on /b/?!


/b/? where have i heard that before:smallconfused:

[Lix Lorn]

Rule 1 of the internet: Thou shalt not speak of /b/?
Is that it?

[ShinyDelusion]

Nice mini-chapter, Tira-chan, although, since I grew up on the oringinal series, I was half-expecting Klingons to show up or the ship's power to drop for no apparent reason or some other mini-diaster to happen about where the chapter cut to the commercial break ended. Accompanied by a dramatic DA-NUH! from the soundtrack of course. Everyone seemed in-character enough to me, by the way, since you were worried about that, although it really wasn't long enough for anyone to do much to judge by.

That picture made me literally lol, half-halfling.


Hey, does anyone know how to write music? I'd like to see how these lyrics sound to a melody. ^.^

Someone else on this thread (I want to say Sereg, but I'm not sure) and I are both taking Music Theory this year. I can't speak for him, but I could probably come up with something at least decent if I got a little free time (spring break is next week for me...). Do you play piano or any other instrument? Writing music I could do, but recording I don't have the means or the enthusiasm for at the moment.



That made me laugh. :smallbiggrin: You really get them and their relationship. It's adorable, especially how childlike and eager Tiberius is.


Glad to see I'm still mostly getting it right. Thanks for the compliment.

[Lix Lorn]

Your name is shiny... (mesmerised)

(Shakes self)

Um. Oops. XD
What's the crackiest pairing that you could imagine actually being canonised? (Counting either canon or Smurfanon?)
((Haha smurfanon.))

[ShinyDelusion]

Your name is shiny... (mesmerised)

(Shakes self)

Um. Oops. XD
What's the crackiest pairing that you could imagine actually being canonised? (Counting either canon or Smurfanon?)
((Haha smurfanon.))

Not sure whether I'm loling at the implication that you've only just noticed or how apparently easily-distracted you are. :smalltongue:

Hm... Belkar x V, O-chul x Miko (in the afterlife after O-chul made some sort of heroic sacrifice), or Xykon x Tsukiko. I'm not going to touch Smurfanon just yet; too much squick potential.

[Lix Lorn]

I blame Joss Whedon.

Also, i hardly believe Belkar could EVER die. Take that, kobolds.
I like it though.
The second i can just about imagine. Just.

[The Dark Fiddler]

That just means that you'd fit in well in /b/. :smallwink:

*cough* I feel I should point out that I regularly poke around /b/ to see if there's any new memes I should be aware of, and indeed they have not truly squicked me out either (again as outside of joking, not as measure of blah blah words).


Rule 1 of the internet: Thou shalt not speak of /b/?
Is that it?

That only applies to raids.

...oh dear... :smalleek:

[icastflare!]

*cough* I feel I should point out that I regularly poke around /b/ to see if there's any new memes I should be aware of, and indeed they have not truly squicked me out either (again as outside of joking, not as measure of blah blah words).


memes? Oh goodness its rushing back. Thats what /b/ is .

[BatRobin]

I feel like writing a crack pairing. Someone roll me up something semi-senisible.

[ShinyDelusion]

I feel like writing a crack pairing. Someone roll me up something semi-senisible.

Roll you something semi-sensible? That rarely works. I'll just make up a few:

Durkon x Miko
Hinjo x Elan
Thog x Nale
Sabine x Roy
Lien x O-chul

Any of those tickle your fancy?

[Raging Gene Ray]

Thanh/Niu

Or Thanh/anyone or Niu/anyone.

[Lawyergoblin]

... we have GOT to do this!!! for realz!!!!


can anyone here do animaition? we need to get this on youtube.


dodo!, you direct, coffie! watersmerf! you two are the only girls i know of here. can either of you voice V and/or Tuski? we will also need voices for Xylon and Redcloak, as well as Jirix, zombies, and O-chul.

eavryone get skype! this is too good to not do! XD
this is mostly a joke... would still be awesome if we did it though

Soooooooooooooooooo, I was going through the last few pages to find the first two scenes, (I had only seen the first), but this is actually a good idea. Unrealistic, but a good idea. I have no idea who would play what part, but I would be willing to help (I personally have always liked the character Jirix, by the way...).

More to the point of my message, I have come to the conclusion that I have a two week break in four days. Once the break starts, I will begin updating V/Z again. Toodles.

[Zanaril]

Here's a few rolls.
Bozzok + Haley

Zz'Dtri + Jephton/Haerta/Ganneron

Bone golem Roy + Hieronymus Grubwiggler

Durkon + Therkla (after a unexpectedly successful Raise Dead, maybe? :smallwink:)

The entire Hobgoblin army + Vaarsuvius

Hilgya + Nale

The dragon's hoard + Xykon

(Gender-switched Teevo) + (The entire Hobgoblin army + The entire Hobgoblin army)

Redcloak + Soon Kim (incorporeal)

Belkar + All of the Demon Roaches at once

Jephton/Haerta/Ganneron + Vaarsuvius (wait, I actually rolled this one? :smalleek:)

Lord Shojo + Lord Kubota

The IFCC + Daigo

Xykon's zombie dragon head + Jirix

Redcloak + Teevo (...what.)

(The Eye of Fear and Flame + The Guy with a halberd) + Teevo

Lien + Therkla (You felt the sexual tension too, right? Right?)

O-Chul + Teevo (I suppose it doesn't have to be that kind of relationship...)

Vaarsuvius + Jephton/Haerta/Ganneron once is enough.

(Gender-switched Vaarsuvius) + Dorukan (:smallbiggrin:)

Hinjo + Vaarsuvius

The IFCC + (Daigo + Vaarsuvius)

Soon Kim (incorporeal) + Vaarsuvius

Ancient Black Dragon + Inkyrius

Redcloak + Jephton/Haerta/Ganneron

Soon Kim (incorporeal) + Xykon

All of the Demon Roaches at once + O-Chul

[The Dark Fiddler]

Durkon + Therkla (after a unexpectedly successful Raise Dead, maybe? :smallwink:)

I would love to write this if not for the fact that the idea of either completely butchering or having to cut out entirely Durkon's accent makes me sad.

[Lix Lorn]

I love that you actually rolled VxSoulSplices. Twice. XDDDDD

[CoffeeIncluded]

Bozzok + Haley

Bone golem Roy + Hieronymus Grubwiggler

I'll try to do these two, but during the weekend. I've got SATs on Saturday! :smalleek: And I actually have a shot at 2400...

[BatRobin]

I'm also gonna try Bozzok and Haley.

[Draconi Redfir]

Replace 'Tiasal' with 'Deirdre' and you're good. Though I doubt Dierdre would have any interest in Right-Eye's daughter--she doesn't know her, so there's no sense that she's family, and Deirdre has less of an interest in female family members than she does male ones.

well i have no idea who Dierdre is, so meh :P