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DragonBaneDM
2010-03-08, 12:24 AM
Hey guys. I think I may have a bit of a problem.

I've noticed lately that when I think about these two characters, heck, one's just an NPC, once in awhile I start crying. Usually it's just a few tears and a red face when a song comes on that makes me think of them, but sometimes it's really bad.

Quick overview in case any one cares. My kalashtar killed his dog and Mother, well he was possessed during it but still. I hung out with my girlfriend after a session where he dumped poison in a water well, and I just started bawling to her. Hahaha, I told her it was cause Precious looked sad on the Oscars.

And this DragonBorn NPC was driven insane by Tharizdun. He went on a murder spree, killing over 300 people. He just got his sanity back, and...well I'm having something bad happen to him. Real bad. I have players that use this site and I can't bring it up, but I just stayed up till 5 apologizing in the mirror to him for it.

Is this normal for someone who gets really into roleplaying? Do any of you have stories about tears you've shed over...Christ... over these pieces of paper and notes on our laptops that we love so much?

KillianHawkeye
2010-03-08, 12:32 AM
There's a chance you're taking this too seriously. It's just a game, dude.

DragonBaneDM
2010-03-08, 12:35 AM
Yeah... I know. I think you're right. Hahaha. I mean I guess this is just how I express it. I have friends who spend hours talking hypothetical builds and stuff that I can never wrap my head around, but this is my way of spending too much time on it.

Like I said, most of the time I'm fine. It's just lately, not so much. How can I tone myself down?

FoE
2010-03-08, 12:48 AM
Even with evil characters, I tend to go into "GUARDIAN MODE" if children are at risk, and if I fail to protect them, it absolutely destroys me.

Do these things remind you of something going on in RL, perhaps some grief you're dealing with or tragedies that happened in your past? If so, it's understandable.

Temotei
2010-03-08, 12:52 AM
I think it's okay. I nearly cried over Aeris (didn't quite, though...probably because I had my stepbrother there). I've cried in theaters before.

Just remember that it's only a game, only some characters, and that this story will be more memorable with emotions pouring out of you like this. Anyway, it's a lot better than no emotion at all.

Ravens_cry
2010-03-08, 12:57 AM
Just a game? What other game can you put so much effort, so much work into creating a fictional constrict, to create a creature who loves and lives in a way that almost seems independent of your own original intent? It may be a game, but it's not just a game.

Koury
2010-03-08, 12:59 AM
At the risk of being revealing that I am extreamly lame, I often avoid watching the Adam Sandler movie Click with other people because wiping tears from your eyes during the raining scene outside the hospital is simply not cool :smallredface: :smallbiggrin:

arguskos
2010-03-08, 01:00 AM
Just a game? What other game can you put so much effort, so much work into creating a fictional constrict, to create a creature who loves and lives in a way that almost seems independent of your own original intent? It may be a game, but it's not just a game.
I keep trying to convince people of this, but no one ever listens to me. :smallsigh:

Ravens_cry
2010-03-08, 01:06 AM
I keep trying to convince people of this, but no one ever listens to me. :smallsigh:
*Hugs* :smallredface:
It's OK.
Though one can take this game too seriously, serious role play takes some effort and risk.

KillianHawkeye
2010-03-08, 01:07 AM
Alternatively, it's a sign that you are emotionally invested in the character, which is a good thing.

I get involved with movie or video game characters like that all the time. Heck, I even cried at the end of Short Circuit 2 when the indian guy is trying to bring Johnny 5 back to life with the electric paddles. :smallamused::smallwink:

arguskos
2010-03-08, 01:09 AM
Alternatively, it's a sign that you are emotionally invested in the character, which is a good thing.

I get involved with movie or video game characters like that all the time. Heck, I even cried at the end of Short Circuit 2 when the indian guy is trying to bring Johnny 5 back to life with the electric paddles. :smallamused::smallwink:
Wait... waitwaitwait. Wait.

You LIKED Short Circuit 2? :smalleek: I thought I was the only one!

Also, yeah, you know, some people don't appreciate the effort it can take to really dedicate yourself to a character. I have a few characters I try and think like once each day, just to keep my skill at rping them fresh.

Thajocoth
2010-03-08, 01:14 AM
The fact that these things phase you so is perfectly normal. It doesn't happen to everyone, sure, but heck, I've cried over fictional characters I had NO attachment to. I've done worse than cry... Just let it out. Crying once in a while is actually good for you physically, not just emotionally. These are, ultimately, fictional characters, but that doesn't mean reacting like a human to their situations is in any way bad. I made that mistake, and the result of it was something very bad.

A note on what happened to me, not to derail, but to clarify:
It was a sort of "straw that broke the camel's back" with my logic getting increasingly annoyed at my emotions, until it decided to kick "sadness" out for a week. You cannot shut off just one, and without them there's not much incentive to turn them back on. It was 8 years later that I turned them back on, due to a happiness so great as to pierce the blockade. It's not quite a lightswitch as they were still technically there, but at such a diminished intensity that I could no longer notice or react to them. The book was "Bridge to Terabithia", in 3rd grade. I remember almost nothing about it. To be fair, my emotions were at a deafening volume at the time, resulting usually in crying or plotting, and my logical ability had a lot of reason to be fed up with it. Now my emotions are at a normal, sane volume.

Platinum_Mongoose
2010-03-08, 01:35 AM
The closest I think I've gotten to this is feeling genuine discomfort over the choices I've had to make as Commander Shepard in Mass Effect and Mass Effect 2. Curse you, Bioware! You, and all your moral grey areas!

It was like, "Okay, Kaidan, so you're not coming with me, but... but don't hate me!"

Lord Vukodlak
2010-03-08, 01:53 AM
There's a chance you're taking this too seriously. It's just a game, dude.

People cry over fictional characters in movies, books and on TV all the time, why should a RPG character you have a personal investment in be any different?

Fiendish_Dire_Moose
2010-03-08, 01:58 AM
Don't get attached to something that's in your head.
People say hearing voices makes you crazy. No, that makes you smart, you have intuition. it's RESPONDING to those voices that makes you crazy.

It's a game, and those things are all in your head.

Mystery Meep
2010-03-08, 02:02 AM
Not only is it okay, it's a great thing that you can be so invested in these characters--it's a sign that you're playing D&D right, basically, when it comes to the 'roleplaying' aspects.

Sure, that can be problematic if you can't step back when you need to, or if it causes you problems because you can't disengage. And that can be hard to deal with.

But aside from theoretical problems of not being able to separate in and out of character, it's just fine.

hiryuu
2010-03-08, 02:06 AM
I love a manly tears thread.

I'm not afraid to speak! I got misty-eyed over the end of Dragonheart! I felt a surge in my chest at the end of The Truman Show!

I've been so into character I've cried in-game before because the character was breaking up (it is a very long story). I've felt afraid, full of hope, and teared up with happiness. Everyone in my group has, and those are the moments you roleplay for, to become emotionally and intellectually engaged; it's why we watch movies, read books, and watch television, why should roleplaying be any different?

DragonBaneDM
2010-03-08, 02:11 AM
THANK YOU GUYS!!!!

I got off to build some armor for a class coming up and I love seeing all this support.

This is such a great forum. I love my Playground family. :smallbiggrin:

But yeah, I like the general consensus that I'm okay for putting this much emotional investment into my characters. Hey, thanks guys. It's gonna be okay, I'm just a huge freaking nerd hahaha.

Doesn't mean we don't have to stop sharing though, BRING ON THE LOVE!!

Fiendish_Dire_Moose
2010-03-08, 02:14 AM
THANK YOU GUYS!!!!

I got off to build some armor for a class coming up and I love seeing all this support.

This is such a great forum. I love my Playground family. :smallbiggrin:

But yeah, I like the general consensus that I'm okay for putting this much emotional investment into my characters. Hey, thanks guys. It's gonna be okay, for all of us.

Doesn't mean we don't have to stop sharing though, BRING ON THE LOVE!!
The proper term for the experience is called "The Method", the trick is knowing when you need to stop. If you cry, you should have stopped ten minutes ago. I like to think of D&D as a play. Act, don't get lost in something not real.

DragonBaneDM
2010-03-08, 02:15 AM
Well I never cry in game. Just when I'm thinking about these two at home.

Fiendish_Dire_Moose
2010-03-08, 02:20 AM
Well I never cry in game. Just when I'm thinking about these two at home.

Oh, well then no matter what anyone says, that's a bit much. It's one thing to get teary eyed about an ex girlfriend. It's not good to get teary eyed over something that doesn't/did not exist.

Koury
2010-03-08, 02:22 AM
Oh, hey, you live in Bremerton!

...

Yeah, thats about all I had to say.

Also, Tacoma is a way better city :D

Fiendish_Dire_Moose
2010-03-08, 02:28 AM
Oh, hey, you live in Bremerton!

...

Yeah, thats about all I had to say.

Also, Tacoma is a way better city :D
Except I don't gotta pray to god I don't get shot just walking to work every day. :smalleek:

rubycona
2010-03-08, 02:31 AM
It's really easy to get invested in characters. It's not like in movies, where you just watch what they're doing... it's easy to criticize when it's someone else.

But when you roleplay in the 1st person (only way, in my opinion, really) you're not just observing a story, you're Being the story. It's your words, it's a part of your mind. The character may not be you, but you have to get in the mindset, so the character's thoughts are Your thoughts, too, you know? He's in your head, and you're in his.

And that's pretty damned intimate for a fictional character. You don't want him to die, partly because he wants to live, and partly because you've invested so much into him... but after a while, the distinction can become pretty fuzzy.

I had a game where we ran the same characters for 1 1/2 years, every week. Lesse, 52 weeks a year, call it 60 total games considering occasional scheduling problems, 4 hours a game minimum, that means I *was* Chikara, the Half-Dragon monk, for 240 hours, minimum. More than that, because I spent a few extra hours each week getting into the mindset, thinking about what she'd do.

When the DM had a cursed Artifact that she/I picked up, that latched on to my soul and, while giving me certain extra power while I lived, would consume my soul upon death, that moaned in pleasure and desire in my head, each time I got injured... it scared the hell out of me/us.

I didn't have any tear-inspiring situations with Chikara, but I tell you, had it come up, the tears would have flowed. There Were lots of times where my heart half stopped with fear or panic, when I grudgingly thought of giving "my" life to save the party, and wondering if I'd be willing to go through with it...

D&D is a hell of a game, is basically what I'm saying :P

Admiral Squish
2010-03-08, 02:33 AM
Since I turned ten, I think I've cried... four times. Total. One was over a song about 9/11, one was at the end of dragonheart, one was part of a complete stress-based breakdown, and one was over a girlfriend. If there were any more occasions, I can't remember them. Needless to say, I am not an emotional sort of fellow. However, a particularly gruesome demise or triumphant victory has, in recent years, been one of the few things to really stir my emotions.

Koury
2010-03-08, 02:33 AM
Except I don't gotta pray to god I don't get shot just walking to work every day. :smalleek:

I've never been shot! I did get stabbed once in school with a screwdriver, but that was a thing about a girl (aren't they all?). And we're more about auto theft then murder, anyway :smallbiggrin:

Fiendish_Dire_Moose
2010-03-08, 02:36 AM
I've never been shot! I did get stabbed once in school with a screwdriver, but that was a thing about a girl (aren't they all?). And we're more about auto theft then murder, anyway :smallbiggrin:

I'll stick to hoping a meth dealer don't pounce on me during my morning jog. I like keeping my car. Driving is fun for me:smallbiggrin:.

Seatbelt
2010-03-08, 02:43 AM
In one game I had a LE cleric of Hextor who got shafted with a very powerful and cursed axe that sometimes took control of my character (in a minor way, mostly for a round or two when the DM needed to save us) and eventually teleported us to the hells, where we battled the controlling entity, lifted the curse, and all was well.

One of the party members (my oldest and dearest friend IRL controlling him) did not like my cleric on the grounds that he was EVIL and EVIL IS BAD and if he betrayed the party once (despite everyone knowing IC that it was because of this cursed axe) he would do it again. He really, really did not like my character.

A second friend was joining in via webcam from Boston, who everyone knows has a short attention span and tends to derail campaigns by backstabbing everyone/team killing because he has this "new awesome idea for a campaign" he wants to run.

So the team killing player starts dropping AOE spells on the enemies, and also me. After the second time I warn him that if he attacks me again, I will cleave his head from his shoulders. IC, in front of the entire party. In the very next encounter he hits 3 of the 4 original party members with the spell with the color affects.. it can plane shift you, cause confusion, etc. I forget what its called. Like Color Spray but 7th level. Bad things happen to everyone. He neutralizes all the low level mooks but a PC almost got planeshifted. So after the last big bad in the area drops, I turn on him. Like my lawful and evil character said he would do. So my best friend pwns him with a twin split maximized something powerful and kills my character outright, and then defends it IC by saying my character was prone to betrayal (?!?! What about the drow shooting his team mates with AOEs?), was evil, and he "never liked that guy anyway."

I felt so hurt and betrayed and frustrated, and I really really liked this character. He was very fleshed out.. just nobody asked. I was attached to him, and I felt like he got killed because my friend OOC just hates the idea of evil chatacters, and didn't want me to kill his cousin's dude. I quit the campaign right then and there and said I didn't want to play anymore.



Of course I came back for what ended up being the final boss session. I rolled a gish who was so much more powerful than the rest of the party I had to hold back because it was pissing off the DM. Immature? Probably. But it made me feel better.

Ravens_cry
2010-03-08, 02:44 AM
Oh, well then no matter what anyone says, that's a bit much. It's one thing to get teary eyed about an ex girlfriend. It's not good to get teary eyed over something that doesn't/did not exist.
The emotions were real. Or at least, you felt them. Curse your brain if you want, but it's only natural to cry over such a detailed fraud. Movies, books and songs can make us cry. Wall-E, and Full Metal Alchemist were perfect fictions, yet the emotions presented were engaging enough that they evoked a ver realy reaction in me.
This isn't wrong, this is empathy and imagination and a very significant part of being human. Story telling and pretend is as old as humanity. If this makes you uncomfortable, I can respect that. But it seems a little harsh to label it as wrong.
As long as you know when to stop back and say 'this isn't real, I can go home.' what's wrong with investing emotions in a character?

Bob the Urgh
2010-03-08, 02:48 AM
Yes, it is okay. Since you didn't do it in front of your friends. Tacoma has better bars.

Fiendish_Dire_Moose
2010-03-08, 02:51 AM
In one game I had a LE cleric of Hextor who got shafted with a very powerful and cursed axe that sometimes took control of my character (in a minor way, mostly for a round or two when the DM needed to save us) and eventually teleported us to the hells, where we battled the controlling entity, lifted the curse, and all was well.

One of the party members (my oldest and dearest friend IRL controlling him) did not like my cleric on the grounds that he was EVIL and EVIL IS BAD and if he betrayed the party once (despite everyone knowing IC that it was because of this cursed axe) he would do it again. He really, really did not like my character.

A second friend was joining in via webcam from Boston, who everyone knows has a short attention span and tends to derail campaigns by backstabbing everyone/team killing because he has this "new awesome idea for a campaign" he wants to run.

So the team killing player starts dropping AOE spells on the enemies, and also me. After the second time I warn him that if he attacks me again, I will cleave his head from his shoulders. IC, in front of the entire party. In the very next encounter he hits 3 of the 4 original party members with the spell with the color affects.. it can plane shift you, cause confusion, etc. I forget what its called. Like Color Spray but 7th level. Bad things happen to everyone. He neutralizes all the low level mooks but a PC almost got planeshifted. So after the last big bad in the area drops, I turn on him. Like my lawful and evil character said he would do. So my best friend pwns him with a twin split maximized something powerful and kills my character outright, and then defends it IC by saying my character was prone to betrayal (?!?! What about the drow shooting his team mates with AOEs?), was evil, and he "never liked that guy anyway."

I felt so hurt and betrayed and frustrated, and I really really liked this character. He was very fleshed out.. just nobody asked. I was attached to him, and I felt like he got killed because my friend OOC just hates the idea of evil chatacters, and didn't want me to kill his cousin's dude. I quit the campaign right then and there and said I didn't want to play anymore.



Of course I came back for what ended up being the final boss session. I rolled a gish who was so much more powerful than the rest of the party I had to hold back because it was pissing off the DM. Immature? Probably. But it made me feel better.

That has less to do with attachment to character and more to do with a friend causing a problem. I had something similar to that.
With 4 new characters who have never met we were called into the palace because the king wanted us for some reason.
While we're there, a massive army of necromancers and a lich attack the city. We fight our way out of a crumbling castle, and in the alleys my friend decides he's going to not tell anyone that he plans to rescue a prisoner. So, after we realize he's gone, we find him negotiating for a slave with a few of the necromancers (He was a wiz and posed as one). So, we spy a bit, and after 3 minutes of dialogue between them I see no indication that he's going to be, nor was he ever on our side. So I rage, and lead the charge. He dies, and has the nerve to call me an idiot and get pissy at me.
This player has caused our DM to kill all of us just for being associated with him. Both this player and Dm are bad at D&D. But the point is, it's a case of other players.

Koury
2010-03-08, 03:00 AM
Tacoma has better everything. :smallbiggrin:

But seriously, I didn't mean to derail, I was just teasing. Lets keep it on subject.

Since now I have gotten the last word in, that is :P

Nero24200
2010-03-08, 03:05 AM
Theres being invested in the game and your characters, and theres being too invested. Be careful when attaching yourself to characters because ...well....they're in danger, alot.

Nine tenth's of the mechanics in D'n'D revolve around combat and other hazzardous actions - and you're not going to play the same character forever. Even if the character doesn't die the campaign the character is in will end eventually. Investing too much in a single character is not a good idea, since a string of unlucky dice rolls could be enough to take it away.

Fiendish_Dire_Moose
2010-03-08, 03:09 AM
Theres being invested in the game and your characters, and theres being too invested. Be careful when attaching yourself to characters because ...well....they're in danger, alot.

Nine tenth's of the mechanics in D'n'D revolve around combat and other hazzardous actions - and you're not going to play the same character forever. Even if the character doesn't die the campaign the character is in will end eventually. Investing too much in a single character is not a good idea, since a string of unlucky dice rolls could be enough to take it away.

Pretty much this. If it can disappear in something so nonvolatile as a dice roll, it's not worth emotional investment on that level.

DragonBaneDM
2010-03-08, 03:11 AM
Theres being invested in the game and your characters, and theres being too invested. Be careful when attaching yourself to characters because ...well....they're in danger, alot.

Nine tenth's of the mechanics in D'n'D revolve around combat and other hazzardous actions - and you're not going to play the same character forever. Even if the character doesn't die the campaign the character is in will end eventually. Investing too much in a single character is not a good idea, since a string of unlucky dice rolls could be enough to take it away.

I know this. One of the reasons cry is because I plan on the kalashtar dying a lot, I have planned a couple of ways for him to more or less do it himself. He'd be committing suicide if the thing possessing him would let him.

As for the dragonborn, I cry because of the way I'm going to kill him. So it's not them being at risk so much, but just how they end and all the crap that's happened to them.

term1nally s1ck
2010-03-08, 03:11 AM
A note on what happened to me, not to derail, but to clarify:
It was a sort of "straw that broke the camel's back" with my logic getting increasingly annoyed at my emotions, until it decided to kick "sadness" out for a week. You cannot shut off just one, and without them there's not much incentive to turn them back on. It was 8 years later that I turned them back on, due to a happiness so great as to pierce the blockade. It's not quite a lightswitch as they were still technically there, but at such a diminished intensity that I could no longer notice or react to them. The book was "Bridge to Terabithia", in 3rd grade. I remember almost nothing about it. To be fair, my emotions were at a deafening volume at the time, resulting usually in crying or plotting, and my logical ability had a lot of reason to be fed up with it. Now my emotions are at a normal, sane volume.

Wow....I thought I was the only one who'd done that to themselves. Mine was due to a close family member dying, and I literally turned them off for 4 years. What brought me back was going to Uni and meeting so many new people, and the combination of fear, exitement, and falling pretty hard for a girl I'd just met pulled me out of it. I can still control it, and can shut my feelings off like with a switch, but I've only done it once since then. It's better to feel (even if those feelings are ****ty) than to be a blank.

Fiendish_Dire_Moose
2010-03-08, 03:13 AM
I know this. One of the reasons cry is because I plan on the kalashtar dying a lot. He'd be committing suicide if the thing possessing him would let him.

As for the dragonborn, I cry because of the way I'm going to kill him.

Then I think your attachment is getting out of hand.

Killer Angel
2010-03-08, 03:21 AM
Attachment is good, it's the sign you enjoy what you're doing.
Too much attachment is bad, if only for the reason it spoils your fun in playing it, for the tension you put in the game. No relax.

DabblerWizard
2010-03-08, 07:41 AM
Even though players may not commonly significantly emotionally attach to their characters, it obviously can happen. People form sentimental attachments to objects all the time: teddy bears, dolls, and blankets as children, and any variety of things that remind us of significant people in our lives as adults.

Assuming you don't significantly work against attaching to people and things, it is quite natural for people to form attachments to things they care about. Once you already have a meaningful connection to a person, or an object, it's only natural that you'd care about it.

Some people might say that attaching to objects, or characters, is "insensible". That's certainly a legitimate priority a person can set for themselves. To avoid attaching to a character in my mind, I'd have to avoid placing emotional value in that character. That's a choice anyone can make.

Sure, it's possible for people to become too attached, too quickly. Yet that's not what we're talking about here. We're talking about a case where a person has invested a great deal of time, effort, thought, and emotion into a character. It's not just a set of numbers and words on a sheet, the OP has a definite representation of that character in his mind. It's understandably meaningful to him.

As others have said, consider how attached people can become to characters on TV. These people don't actually know you. And it's not even the actors you're attaching to, necessarily, but the characters that the actors represent. If that kind of connection is normal, then so is attaching to a character in your mind, that just so happens to lack a real life avatar over the tv screen.

Though, I should point out, that when these attachments and the emotions with them, start to become overwhelming, and start interfering with your daily living, then that's definitely a problem.

Shedding tears is one thing. Becoming so distressed that you can't go to work, don't feel like leaving your house, don't care about your friendships, etc, would be problematic.

Lastly, it's always okay to cry. Feeling emotion is one of the most authentic, meaningful experiences a person can take on. It's sad that society places all of this stigma on the kind of emotion that people (men especially) can express.

Sure, allowing emotion to fuel irrational, dangerous behavior isn't okay. But just showing emotion in a way that doesn't escalate to any harm, isn't bad at all.

So in the end, I say, yes, it's okay to cry over a character, as long as you consider the degree. Everyone in gaming should consider the degree of attachment they place in their inventions known as characters. Everyone has to make a personal choice concerning how deeply they want to relate to these creations.

It's all about moderation.

Haven
2010-03-08, 08:09 AM
I actually think this is kind of heartwarming.

Anyway, I don't see anything wrong with it. I mean, this is one of the big reasons we have stories: catharsis.

Though I'm not clear--are you the DM or the player? If the latter: you must have a really good DM. Or an exceptionally evil one, which comes out to about the same. :smallamused:

Thajocoth
2010-03-08, 10:32 AM
Wow....I thought I was the only one who'd done that to themselves. Mine was due to a close family member dying, and I literally turned them off for 4 years. What brought me back was going to Uni and meeting so many new people, and the combination of fear, exitement, and falling pretty hard for a girl I'd just met pulled me out of it. I can still control it, and can shut my feelings off like with a switch, but I've only done it once since then. It's better to feel (even if those feelings are ****ty) than to be a blank.

This is the first I've heard of anyone else having gone through this sort of thing either. Thanks for letting me know. It feels a little less odd now. For me, coming back came from seeing someone else playing a video game on their calculator that I made. I had passed the game to my friends, but they apparently felt it good enough to spread it to others. The joy of seeing someone I didn't know enjoying my work... It certainly solidified my career choice.

AtwasAwamps
2010-03-08, 10:48 AM
Bridge to Terabithia will SCREW A CHILD’S HEAD UP. Guess who is not going to let their eventual children read that book:

This guy ←

Regarding the idea of crying over a character…eh. I think you’re a little mushy and dramatic, but frankly, I’m not that taken aback nor would I say “You are clearly taking this too seriously.”

I’ve been writing fiction, roleplaying in freeform, and other such things for a long time now and in my heart of hearts, I know that tragedy IS a part of a good story 95% of the time. It adds texture and flavor to a tale, no matter what kind of tale it is. When I first started out, I didn’t understand this and my stories suffered for it. When I first understood it, I failed at the application of tragedy and thus, my stories suffered for it. Now, I have a pretty even hand on it.

The result is that I’m a little numbed to the sort of feelings you’re getting, but I will say I’ve been there. My first DnD character is an unoptimized paladin in a low power party. The DM is going easy on us, but we all know at some level that my paladin is probably going to die. I’m not a careful player and I’m not playing a cautious character. My paladin can SERIOUSLY roll with punches, thanks to some high rolls and luck in gear, but I know its coming. The paladin has become fast friends with the group…they love talking to him, interacting with him, and he has done some hilarious things for them. He is a farm boy who was called by Heironeous and is one of the oldest characters in the group…and also the least traveled. Everything about this character has come together and yet I look ahead to the inevitable and I do feel a little wrenched…the end of his story will be brutal, because of poor choices, bad rolls, something…but it doesn’t matter. That impending doom makes every roll of the die intensely satisfying. I won’t cry, but I will feel that death. It’s going to hurt. That’s a fact.

On the DM side of it (where I think you might be coming from), I have a number of NPCs in my current game that aren’t happy. From the powerful justiciar whose son was turned into a corpse creature to the favored soul who’s been strapped to a table, killed, and grafted with dozens of necromantic parts, to the criminal mastermind whose empire is tumbling around him…there’s nightmares a plenty for my NPCs and yes, oh yes, it hurts, but I look at my players and see the fury in their eyes and the vengeance they want on the non-existent figments of my imagination that perpetrated these horrors that never happened…

Yeah. If you’re not getting a good, strong, emotional response out of D&D or your own writing?

You’re doing it wrong.

Edit:


This is the first I've heard of anyone else having gone through this sort of thing either. Thanks for letting me know.

Many people do this, especially in the "geek" community. When you are a passionate person who feels very deeply and you are hurt, you can get hurt a lot and the response of "retreat" is a common...though not a healthy...reaction. I have seen a number of people do this and thankfully, more than 70% of those I've seen do it recover.

Life is passion, after all. Passion and oreo cookies.

MlleRouge
2010-03-08, 02:52 PM
I don't see anything wrong with it, as long as it doesn't effect your life negatively otherwise. That goes with anything, though. My group has had several scenes where real tears were involved. It's no different from getting emotional at a movie or something :smallwink: I get super attached to my roleplay characters, and I've teared up myself during a couple dramatic death scenes and other instances of sadness in my day.

LichPrinceAlim
2010-03-08, 03:00 PM
I've done it may times.

For instance, in a Ravenloft campaign, my DM ran a DMPC who was a Paly 5/Knight of the Raven 4 who, in the final assault of Castle Ravenloft died by holding an advancing army of Strahd's Vampire Spawn back, while we had to seal the door behind us, leaving him to die. I cried for like an hour, because the DM rped the character so well, it hurt to let him die

lsfreak
2010-03-08, 03:11 PM
Attachment is good. People cry over books and movies, and sometimes video games. How much more attachment do you have to a character you play yourself, especially if your group heavily emphasizes roleplay?

Just don't let it become an emotional burden. Crying doesn't necessarily mean it's burdensome, just make sure it doesn't become that.

Tengu_temp
2010-03-08, 03:20 PM
Nine tenth's of the mechanics in D'n'D revolve around combat and other hazzardous actions - and you're not going to play the same character forever. Even if the character doesn't die the campaign the character is in will end eventually. Investing too much in a single character is not a good idea, since a string of unlucky dice rolls could be enough to take it away.

It's rare for a DM in a story-heavy to let a character die just because of an unlucky string of rolls. The hero dying pointlessly in a random fight doesn't make a good story.

I think that emotional attachment to a game is the only way to make it succeed, unless it's a purely combat-driven or comedic one. Playing an RPG is about creating a story together, and if you don't feel attached to the characters in a story, the high chances are you won't find it very interesting.

I don't cry over roleplaying games, but I don't cry over any fiction either. If you cry over fiction, it's okay for you to cry when a character you were attached to dies in a roleplaying game.

Draz74
2010-03-08, 03:22 PM
Nobody criticized J.K. Rowling for saying that she cried when she wrote about the death of her character
Sirius Black

On the other hand, they probably would have if she said that her grief continued for an extended period of time. Crying when one of these in-game stories occurred, or perhaps up to a day later ... fine. That probably just means you're a better, more invested roleplayer than me.

Crying months later over a character? I'd be a little concerned, and take a close look at why I'm so attached.

RagnaroksChosen
2010-03-08, 03:23 PM
I've had players reduced to tears over in game events. There characters where crying at the time(well more shedding tears) and i think they got into it enough that they started to cry... or they had stuff int here eyes.. lol

incubus5075
2010-03-08, 03:32 PM
Hehe i daydream about intricate rapier fighting when having sex and the chick hasn't gotten off yet... ie saying your ABCs or multiplication tables to take your mind off.

If months later you're still crying go to GNC and get some testosterone boosters, way to much estrogen is going on or something.

AtwasAwamps
2010-03-08, 03:34 PM
Hehe i daydream about intricate rapier fighting when having sex

You daydream about two phallic symbols slapping against each other while having sex with ladies?

You're doing it wrong!

THANKS GUYS I'LL BE HERE ALL WEEK.

incubus5075
2010-03-08, 03:41 PM
you obviously see a gay refrence to a non gay thing

you sir are doing it wrong :)

plus there is nothing wrong with two guys slapping 'sticks' as long as they don't make eye contact

AtwasAwamps
2010-03-08, 03:42 PM
you obviously see a gay refrence to a non gay thing

you sir are doing it wrong :)

plus there is nothing wrong with two guys slapping 'sticks' as long as they don't make eye contact

Well played! A solid volley back into my side of the court.

::bow::

How would you score that fencing match?

incubus5075
2010-03-08, 03:48 PM
depends on who slapped whose stick into the meaty part first

Yea i'm trying to make it sound gay

FoE
2010-03-08, 03:51 PM
Easy, guys, this forum is PG-13.

Nero24200
2010-03-08, 03:54 PM
It's rare for a DM in a story-heavy to let a character die just because of an unlucky string of rolls. The hero dying pointlessly in a random fight doesn't make a good story.

I think that emotional attachment to a game is the only way to make it succeed, unless it's a purely combat-driven or comedic one. Playing an RPG is about creating a story together, and if you don't feel attached to the characters in a story, the high chances are you won't find it very interesting.

Well...it's not only a case of bad luck. As said, you aren't going to play the same campaign forever, so even without death there will come a time when you won't be playing your character.

I wasn't saying there shouldn't be any attachment, after all if there wasn't attachment then games wouldn't get very far at all. But just as you can too little, you can also have too much.

Tiki Snakes
2010-03-08, 04:08 PM
Nobody criticized J.K. Rowling for saying that she cried when she wrote about the death of her character
Sirius Black

On the other hand, they probably would have if she said that her grief continued for an extended period of time. Crying when one of these in-game stories occurred, or perhaps up to a day later ... fine. That probably just means you're a better, more invested roleplayer than me.

Crying months later over a character? I'd be a little concerned, and take a close look at why I'm so attached.

This.
Also, if you are DMing, there's always the various heavens to take into account, as well as the possibility of ressurections, reincarnation, or even flat out inexplicableness and alternate reality clones.

So, a character is only ever dead because you're happy for him to stay that way. (Nb, doesn't mean they are ressurected in the same plane, century, or etc, necessarily, as you shouldn't have NPC's coming back from the dead all the time).

If the NPC has managed sufficiently noteworthy deads, then them becoming an Exarch or Servant of a relevant Divine Power is quite appropriate perhaps.

Closak
2010-03-08, 04:15 PM
Does crying in horror count?

Because the BBEG's i have to deal with tend to make people do that :eek: *Runs away in a blind panic with tears of sheer horror streaming down my cheeks* AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

Gnaeus
2010-03-08, 04:22 PM
In my opinion.

It is O.K. to cry over a character. You can invest a lot of time in a character. Personally, many of my best characters used different aspects of my personality, which I was exploring when I played them in game. It is particularly sad when a beloved character dies prematurely, or in a stupid way.

It is not O.K. to...
Take on the name of your character and use it in everyday life.
Have more conversations in character than you have out of character.
Not be friends with people who were otherwise your friends because they killed your character. Especially if they were DMing at the time.

Tears and literature note: I cry whenever I watch The Two Towers. When Gandalf comes over the ridge at dawn. Can't help it.

Tengu_temp
2010-03-08, 04:34 PM
Well...it's not only a case of bad luck. As said, you aren't going to play the same campaign forever, so even without death there will come a time when you won't be playing your character.

Books, movies and video games end too. Doesn't mean that attaching to the characters in them is a bad idea.


I wasn't saying there shouldn't be any attachment, after all if there wasn't attachment then games wouldn't get very far at all. But just as you can too little, you can also have too much.

Too much attachment is hard to reach, though. As long as you don't become an obsessive fan of the character, you should be fine. Emotional reactions to bad things happening to the character is not in that territory yet.

DragonBaneDM
2010-03-08, 06:14 PM
Though, I should point out, that when these attachments and the emotions with them, start to become overwhelming, and start interfering with your daily living, then that's definitely a problem.

Shedding tears is one thing. Becoming so distressed that you can't go to work, don't feel like leaving your house, don't care about your friendships, etc, would be problematic.



It is not O.K. to...
Take on the name of your character and use it in everyday life.
Have more conversations in character than you have out of character.
Not be friends with people who were otherwise your friends because they killed your character. Especially if they were DMing at the time.




Don't worry, I'm not even CLOSE to that. It's only at like 4 in the morning and it's only happened three times that I can really count as bawling.

And I'm both the DM and the player for the dragonborn and kalashtar respectively. And although I give a lot of credit to the kid DMing the Eberron campaign, he's a protege of mine, it was more when I was writing the kalashtar's backstory that got me going.

Colmarr
2010-03-08, 10:09 PM
*Hugs* :smallredface:
Though one can take this game too seriously, serious role play takes some effort and risk.

+1 I agree wholeheartedly


Tears and literature note: I cry whenever I watch The Two Towers. When Gandalf comes over the ridge at dawn. Can't help it.

Me too.
And when Sam carries Frodo up Mount Doom in RotK.
And when Mufasa dies in the Lion King.
And when the two lovers in Hero debate who will go to their deaths.
Pretty much anytime I see an on-screen parent mourn their children.

Not always (infact almost never) great big wracking sobs because I don't want to be seen shedding them, but you could pretty reliably catch me wiping away silent tears if you knew when to look.

I think it should be acknowledged that some people are more empathetic than others - they feel surrogate pain more keenly.

Dr Bwaa
2010-03-08, 11:09 PM
Apologizing in front of the mirror until 5am is probably a little excessive. But, frankly, I think getting a little emotional over your characters is just fine. It means you've put a lot of yourself into developing that character--writers often cry when they do bad things to their characters (see: JK Rowling v Dumbledore). If anything, it probably means you're Doing It Right.

Set
2010-03-08, 11:53 PM
Welcome to the future!

Grown-ups, of both genders, are allowed to have feelings here in the World of Tomorrow, and no longer have to 'keep a stiff upper lip' and be pants-wettingly terrified of what other people think of them.

Having feelings and not being afraid of them or emotionally stunted and incapable of expressing them in a healthy manner, will also come in handy if you ever want to live with another human being, perhaps one of that gender with the comfy chest-pillows, as being unable to relate to your own emotions will make it pretty darn challenging to live with any sort of well-adjusted adult person, and condemn you to a romantic life that resembles an episode of Three's Company and / or Married, With Children, full of whacky misunderstandings that aren't nearly as funny as they were advertised to be. (Unless you subscribe to the 'Men are from Mars, Women are from R'lyeh' theory, and have no interest in being able to understand or relate to the person who handles your junk. Good luck with that, Mr. Bobbit.)


[Sickman Fraud] But, in this specific case (and I'm sure as hell not a psychiatrist), it sounds like the in-game scenerio is nestled up against some real-life issue that's not being examined / dealt with. [/Sickman Fraud]


My own creativity keeps me up at nights, if I don't write the story-unfolding-in-my-head out. Being able to write out whatever is weighing upon you may be a head-clearing option for you as well. Analyze what is distressing about the situation, and then change it. You are the author of this character's destiny, and it's absolutely within your power to give the character a new opportunity or a reversal of fortune. (I was gonna say 'happy ending,' but I think that term has been ruined for casual use by the 'massage' industry...) If you find yourself over-identifying with the situation a character is in, *change it.* Heck, turn it into some sort of faux actualization therapy, if you want!

Just, yanno, avoid doing crappy things to a character you identify with. As authors, we love to heap abuse on the little people in our little stories, but if one is a stand-in for yourself, it's not a great idea to ring down disasters and misfortunes upon your self-insert, as that's the sort of thing that makes the therapist cluck his tongue and scribble furiously...

DragonBaneDM
2010-03-09, 08:14 PM
Thanks Set. That first part made me laugh so hard.

And the second part was just frickin' helpful, hahaha.

bosssmiley
2010-03-09, 08:55 PM
Wot no Chick tract? :smallconfused:

http://www.escapeplan.org/chick/D&D/6.gif

@v: truth. But then I'm from a cultural tradition (the English) that considers rigid emotional constipation the sine qua non of virtue. :smallwink:

Thurbane
2010-03-10, 02:44 AM
It's not OK for a man to cry. Ever. Period.

...except when they canceled Firefly, but I'm only human.

Ravens_cry
2010-03-10, 02:50 AM
Wot no Chick tract? :smallconfused:

[IMG]*removed for your sanity*
Yes, no Chick Tract.

Thurbane
2010-03-10, 03:06 AM
Ya, best not to bring Chick into it. It always ends badly.

Satyr
2010-03-10, 03:15 AM
I don't want to sound like an insensitive jerk but: I think it is a bit insensitive and not very polite to cry in public, and perhaps even a bit selfish. Seeing someone you know and probably like (which should include the people we play RPGs with, right?) crying is usually a quite uncomfortable and distressing event, and can easily be more stressful for the people around you than for yourself. The others probably cannot see how serious this is for you, or how distressing this actually is and, if they care for you (again, I hope that's a given in most RPG groups) they are likely to assume that you live through a very painful episode right now, and seeing someone you like apparently suffer is something very uncomfortable.
So, you might cry because you are sad (which is okay I guess), people around you think that there is more to it and the character's fate is just a symptom of something more important than a game (e.g. real life) that is distressing you and take it a lot more serious than you.

In the worst case (which I doesn't think is very common or that anyone tries this on purpose) crying can take the form of emotional blackmailing.

DabblerWizard
2010-03-10, 12:06 PM
I don't want to sound like an insensitive jerk but: I think it is a bit insensitive and not very polite to cry in public, and perhaps even a bit selfish. Seeing someone you know and probably like (which should include the people we play RPGs with, right?) crying is usually a quite uncomfortable and distressing event, and can easily be more stressful for the people around you than for yourself. The others probably cannot see how serious this is for you, or how distressing this actually is and, if they care for you (again, I hope that's a given in most RPG groups) they are likely to assume that you live through a very painful episode right now, and seeing someone you like apparently suffer is something very uncomfortable.
So, you might cry because you are sad (which is okay I guess), people around you think that there is more to it and the character's fate is just a symptom of something more important than a game (e.g. real life) that is distressing you and take it a lot more serious than you.

In the worst case (which I doesn't think is very common or that anyone tries this on purpose) crying can take the form of emotional blackmailing.


According to psychologists who study empathy, the reaction you're referring to, Satyr, is called "personal distress". Go figure.

You make a valid point. Seeing a person in distress, can make an observer feel distressed as well. However, the alternative for the person experiencing distress is even worse.

Living life involves experiencing situations that bring about feeling, whether pleasant or unpleasant. If you suppress emotion, it builds up in you like steam in a pressure cooker. Eventually you explode in violence or have an emotional break down, or implode in depression or take on some physical ailment.

Experiencing emotion, on some level, is important. I can understand wanting to be "sensible" about where you feel things, but when it comes to crying in front of friends, they're not worth your time if they can't understand that you're in a lot of pain if you're crying in front of them.

Besides, you can learn to handle other people's expression of emotion.


It's not OK for a man to cry. Ever. Period.

...except when they canceled Firefly, but I'm only human.

Oh Thurbane. Your point of view is so typical, and yet it's so destructive to suppress emotions. See above.

AtwasAwamps
2010-03-10, 12:07 PM
Oh Thurbane. Your point of view is so typical, and yet it's so destructive to suppress emotions. See above.

I am pretty sure...PRETTY SURE...he's kidding, dabbler ;)

Draz74
2010-03-10, 12:11 PM
Oh Thurbane. Your point of view is so typical, and yet it's so destructive to suppress emotions. See above.

You're right, but you failed your Sarcasm Check against Thurbane's post. (Easy to do.)

DabblerWizard
2010-03-10, 12:20 PM
You're right, but you failed your Sarcasm Check against Thurbane's post. (Easy to do.)

All I see is words! How am I supposed to sense his intended intonation? I don't know the person.

...

See, you might have thought I was angry there, but I'm not. Note the following grin: :smallbiggrin:

AtwasAwamps
2010-03-10, 12:23 PM
All I see is words! How am I supposed to sense his intended intonation? I don't know the person.

...

See, you might have thought I was angry there, but I'm not. Note the following grin: :smallbiggrin:


YOU ARE THE SCUM OF THE EARTH! I WILL EAT YOUR FAMILY AND YOUR DOG! :smallbiggrin::smallbiggrin::smallbiggrin:

See? The grins make it okay!

Killer Angel
2010-03-10, 12:29 PM
My dear friends, I love you all! :smallfurious::smallfurious::smallfurious:

...

...

...

..no, I can't remain serious. :smalltongue:

DabblerWizard
2010-03-10, 12:36 PM
The emoticons are there for a reason. Good faces to use to show sarcasm: :smallwink: :smallcool: :smalltongue: :smallamused:

AtwasAwamps
2010-03-10, 12:52 PM
The emoticons are there for a reason. Good faces to use to show sarcasm: :smallwink: :smallcool: :smalltongue: :smallamused:

Wait, I'm confused...

Do I have to eat your dog now? I don't really like dogs.

DabblerWizard
2010-03-10, 01:03 PM
Wait, I'm confused...

Do I have to eat your dog now? I don't really like dogs.

I absolve you of any such obligation. Notice the lack of sarcasm indicating emoticons.

AtwasAwamps
2010-03-10, 01:42 PM
I absolve you of any such obligation. Notice the lack of sarcasm indicating emoticons.

Okay, but...now what do I have for supper?

Kylarra
2010-03-10, 01:43 PM
Okay, but...now what do I have for supper?The family.

AtwasAwamps
2010-03-10, 01:44 PM
The family.

HOORAY.

I'll get the chips.

valadil
2010-03-10, 01:49 PM
There's no crying in D&D!

Nah, it's cool if you get that emotional about it. I usually only see that level of involvement in characters at LARPs but if you can pull it off at your table, cool. You might want to warn players its part of your act though because if you cry too believably they might lose immersion when they start to sympathize with you and not your character.

DragonBaneDM
2010-03-10, 04:15 PM
I HATE HOW OFF TOPIC THIS THREAD HAS GOTTEN!!! :smallbiggrin:

Am I doing it right?


Nah, it's cool if you get that emotional about it. I usually only see that level of involvement in characters at LARPs but if you can pull it off at your table, cool. You might want to warn players its part of your act though because if you cry too believably they might lose immersion when they start to sympathize with you and not your character.


Thanks Val, I'll keep this in mind if there's a session coming up where I'm pretty sure it's gonna happen. I don't think this will ever happen at the table, though.

DabblerWizard
2010-03-10, 04:19 PM
I HATE HOW OFF TOPIC THIS THREAD HAS GOTTEN!!! :smallbiggrin:

Am I doing it right?



Gives dragonbanedm a gold star. :smallsmile:

Superglucose
2010-03-10, 04:29 PM
Yes it's ok. **** society telling you how you can or can't express emotions. People cry at movies, people cry at weddings, and people cry when reading books. Why shouldn't you be allowed to cry when playing a roleplaying game?

If America could get its head out of its collective ass you wouldn't have to worry about feeling stupid or unmanly or whatever when you chose to express an emotion. So let your tears flow, and beat the ever loving crap out of anyone who tries to tell you it's "wrong."

AtwasAwamps
2010-03-10, 04:36 PM
If America could get its head out of its collective ass you wouldn't have to worry about feeling stupid or unmanly or whatever when you chose to express an emotion. So let your tears flow, and beat the ever loving crap out of anyone who tries to tell you it's "wrong."

Not to start an international debate here, but yeah...that's not an American thing.

It's a male gonad thing.

Volkov
2010-03-10, 04:39 PM
Depends, if you, as in the player at the table, is going to weep each time you kill something, perhaps you should seek a different hobby. But if you kill say, your character's best friend in a fit of Umber hulk gaze induced madness, yes it's justified.

Superglucose
2010-03-10, 04:44 PM
Not to start an international debate here, but yeah...that's not an American thing.

It's a male gonad thing.
Then screw the world at large!

Tequila Sunrise
2010-03-10, 08:07 PM
I don't want to sound like an insensitive jerk but: I think it is a bit insensitive and not very polite to cry in public, and perhaps even a bit selfish.
Sounds like a very Asian attitude.

You may be right Satyr, but I think as long as DBDM keeps his public crying regular it won't be a problem. Someone will exclaim "Listen, someone's crying! What do we do?" And then one of his mates will say "Oh that's just DBDM again, cradling an old character sheet -- hand him the Best of Journey album on your way to the Mountain Dew, thanks."

(Which one is the slightly tongue-in-cheek emoticon?)

Fawsto
2010-03-10, 08:24 PM
I am guilty of being attached to almost all my characters.

Even when I stop playing with them and start a new one in the same adventure (RP reasons for a goodbye, except that he is on a side aventure of his own lately).

I am one of those guys who will go very far trying to make his charcter survive.

I don't know if you should be griefing this so much. After all you are the DM, if you want someone to have a good ending, puff, they are within an earthly heaven.

Anyways, I guess it is okay to like some "game personalities". Happened to me (only without the crying thing, though) when my character found a long dead bro all happy within the Vallhalla. Go in peace Dirty Joe.

DabblerWizard
2010-03-10, 08:33 PM
It's a male gonad thing.

The way men react to emotion has everything to do with our socialization and enculturation.

Men are treated differently than women from birth.

There was a study done on nurses that work on a newborn unit at a hospital. These nurses treated male babies significantly differently than female babies. They (1) let male babies cry longer than female babies, and (2) they soothed the male babies less than the female babies.

For a fragile newborn, that kind of behavior may very well be enough to affect how they relate to others... and it doesn't stop there.

Even though most (healthy minded) parents want to treat their children well, I have no doubt that they implicitly and subconsciously reinforce the standards that they themselves grew up with, that it's bad for men to have emotions, that toughing it out and "getting over it [somehow]" are the only acceptable ways for men to deal with emotion.

Besides all of that, on a psychological level, men aren't born that different from women. Men are born with emotions and they have the same neuronal firing sequences associated with emotion and the same brain structures associated with emotion, all of that neurological jazz.

It's a social problem. Plain and simple.

DragonBaneDM
2010-03-11, 02:36 AM
Gives dragonbanedm a gold star. :smallsmile:

Hurr durr derp I dun gewd!

And yeah, I dig what all you cats are saying. Hahaha, I was in such a bad mood when I wrote this. I've gotten to play one of these characters since then and I've realized that his story's not ENTIRELY tragic.

That and I can still have FUN with the parts that are. Cool! I'm possessed! I can be the Pacifist Healer AND the Neutral Evil Well-Poisoner! Not many other people, who run consistent characters at least, can say that.

Satyr
2010-03-11, 02:53 AM
@ DabblerWizard: I don't know if it is a problem; children have to learn that they won't get anything they want with crying and that they have to relinquish some times. If they can learn it gradually, it is probably better. Giving the kid everything it wants is not the same thing as doing the best for it. Especially when it come to ice cream.

So... you could likewise say, the problem is that little girls are pampered too much when they are small and thus begin later to learn independece and the idea that the world does not turn around them alone.

And finally, while it may be sociological issue, it doesn't change so much, because the relevant is the inner and outer perception. It doesn't really matter if I had learned that "Boys don't cry" and I had embraced this point of view, it doesn't really matter if this is a trained or an innate trait. I wouldn't cry in public, fearing to lose face, and I would think it is a sign of weakness if someone else does.

It is not even bad that we as a society have certain behavorial patterns associated with gender; as long as you don't try to conclude some kind of different valencies or forget that individuals are indeed individuals, and not stereotypes most things should be fine.

Evilfeeds
2010-03-11, 05:31 AM
Thought Id throw my 2p in:

I view D&D as a game. I dont cry when I lose a game of Carcassonne, I dont cry when I get fragged in quake, and I dont cry at D&D. Having said that, I understand a degree of emotional investment. But, as mentioned before, adventurers live dangerous lives. They're almost destined to die. Understand and respect that.

I GMed a game a while back where one of the players got *really* emotionally invested in a character. One day, halfway through a 1 year campaign, he decided to charge a hooog demon, and (despite GM hints that itd be a bad idea) got firmly squished.

He went mental. Didn't cry, but was seriously and massively pissed off. Started calling me a **** GM, said the adventure was stupid, blah blah. It pretty much killed the group, and I've only spoken to him a couple of times since (in passing).

Anyway, point is, you can get attached to characters, but rememeber: its just a game. There are more important things in life.

Choco
2010-03-11, 09:15 AM
As a DM, I consider it a great success if I can yank any sort of emotion out of my not-so-serious groups. That being said, really the only times I get sad over characters is when I am the DM. Then again, I have the habit of creating "villains" that are much more honorable than the psychopathic killing, burglarizing, and graverobbing hobos adventurers that are the PC's. It is always sad to see a good villain finally get downed.

AtwasAwamps
2010-03-11, 09:25 AM
It's a social problem. Plain and simple.

Fair enough. NOT an American one, though.

I'm not one to tout American society as the most awesome thing ever, but that type of thing is certainly not exclusive to this country.

hiryuu
2010-03-11, 06:27 PM
I'm not afraid to speak! I got misty-eyed over the end of Dragonheart! I felt a surge in my chest at the end of The Truman Show!

I have to add this: you know what else gets to me? The end of The Iron Giant. Every. Single. Time.

I just tested this theory yesterday.

Froogleyboy
2010-03-11, 07:04 PM
I cry over things that happen in-game all the time, don't feel bad about it

icastflare!
2010-03-11, 08:12 PM
Emotions are human nature. if something gives you a tear, it is sad. There is more than one case that I cryed because of a story. ( poor fuzzy :smallfrown: )

Emmerask
2010-03-11, 08:50 PM
Sure it is people cry for characters they know for roughly 100 minutes (films) so why not for a character that you know for several weeks or even years.

Tinydwarfman
2010-03-11, 09:19 PM
At the risk of being revealing that I am extreamly lame, I often avoid watching the Adam Sandler movie Click with other people because wiping tears from your eyes during the raining scene outside the hospital is simply not cool :smallredface: :smallbiggrin:

OMG, I thought I was the only one! :smalltongue:
I generally hate adam sandler but that one really got to me... :smallredface:

Thurbane
2010-03-11, 09:20 PM
All I see is words! How am I supposed to sense his intended intonation? I don't know the person.

...

See, you might have thought I was angry there, but I'm not. Note the following grin: :smallbiggrin:
FWIW, yes, I was kidding...I forgot to put a smiley in there.

Obviously, it's not OK to cry, even at your favorite TV show being cancelled. :smallamused:

:smalltongue:

Katana_Geldar
2010-03-11, 09:57 PM
I cried when my favourite Jeid was killed by my players, I know I could have does a Deus Ex Machina and saved him, but knew I shouldn't.

And there was the fact that he was the result of a player's apathy She paid, she paid for it! :smallmad:

Stubbed Tongue
2010-03-12, 12:07 AM
Yes. It is OK to cry over a character. And ,yes it OK for someone to consider you weak. I will do neither.

I will tell you what gets me choked up every time I think about it, even as I type this. Kerri Strug at the 1996 Olympics.

http://www.answers.com/topic/has-the-u-s-women-s-gymnastics-team-ever-won-a-gold-medal-at-the-olympics

She is more of a 'man' than many.

jguy
2010-03-12, 01:03 AM
Black Leaf!!!!. Sorry, couldn't resist

DragonBaneDM
2010-03-15, 02:55 AM
Hahaha, isn't that the guy who if you say his name shows up and starts commenting?

And woah so many different points of view. I hope this doesn't end up as thread necromancy. Just wanted to take a look at what other opinions got added on here in my absense.

Zonack
2010-03-15, 04:25 AM
I do not believe it is okay but I wouldn't also qualify it as a BAD HORRIBLE THING.

I mean, I just recently lost a character which I spent a lot of time creating, I didn't get to play him cause I died in the 3rd session... and you know what?

I am super excited about my upcoming Goliath Barbarian.

I mean in a way it's like soccer players crying when they just lost the world cup.
A tennis player that just lost the Championship cup.

Are they crazy? Well, not really... they just lost something BIG, they could have been famous and what not... but... well there are MUCH worse things....

Sure, you may think it's not the same but in the end, all that stuff... it's just a game.

AtwasAwamps
2010-03-15, 08:46 AM
Yes. It is OK to cry over a character. And ,yes it OK for someone to consider you weak. I will do neither.

I will tell you what gets me choked up every time I think about it, even as I type this. Kerri Strug at the 1996 Olympics.

http://www.answers.com/topic/has-the-u-s-women-s-gymnastics-team-ever-won-a-gold-medal-at-the-olympics

She is more of a 'man' than many.

She could pretty much kick all our arses. With her bum leg. Which she doesn't have anymore. So we're screwed.

taltamir
2010-03-15, 08:54 AM
it is only ok to cry for your character if it is manly tears (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ManlyTears).

TheMadLinguist
2010-03-15, 10:14 AM
No way. I don't want my character sheet getting tear marks on it.

So if you're going to cry, at least move your character sheet out of the way first.

:smallwink:

Thiyr
2010-03-15, 10:41 AM
Depends, if you, as in the player at the table, is going to weep each time you kill something, perhaps you should seek a different hobby. But if you kill say, your character's best friend in a fit of Umber hulk gaze induced madness, yes it's justified.

See, this is kinda fitting, because it reminded me of the one case where I almost got to that point. Except it was a fit of Umber hulk induced madness causing me to kill myself. Or rather, causing my ogre cohort to take swings at the nearest creature, which happened to be his goblin buddy riding on his back. And then roleplaying the emotional trauma that would deal to said very dependent ogre. And then getting to roleplay the rage of getting mocked by another PC for having been driven insane and killing him. That was an emotional session for me to say the least.

npc revolution
2010-03-15, 04:46 PM
When I was coming up with a character's backstory, I had his wife kidnapped by goblins and him destroying their camp by raining arcane death upon them, only to find his wife dead.
There was definitely emotion there.

Dust
2010-03-15, 05:06 PM
I cry at the scene in The Incredibles near the end where the protagonist father grabs his wife and just blurts out, "I can't lose you again! I'm not strong enough." No idea why. I'm not a crier - I didn't even shed a tear at an immediate family member's funderal.

We can't really judge you for being a bit of a bleeding heart, though I, for one, would call you a gigantic nancy whenever you got the sniffles over a long-dead character.

But here on the forums? Psh, you're fine. People get emotional over very odd things sometimes, and I'm sure we can all understand that our characters are a representation of us - or at least a portion of us - in ways. Seeing a part of us fail and die is certainly something that could leave an impression.

So long as you can laugh at yourself as well as cry, there's absolutely nothing to worry about.

DragonBaneDM
2010-03-17, 12:06 AM
So long as you can laugh at yourself as well as cry, there's absolutely nothing to worry about.

Then I'm okay. :smallsmile:

Superglucose
2010-03-17, 12:31 AM
I'm not one to tout American society as the most awesome thing ever, but that type of thing is certainly not exclusive to this country.
The reason I said American is because I'm really not qualified to talk about non-American cultures.

So yeah, American culture sucks. Maybe it's not exclusive to America, but "you're not a man if you cry" or "it's impolite to have emotions in public" is a hideous sentiment that just needs to die off like the dodo bird. Overhunting, clearly

Hadrian_Emrys
2010-03-17, 01:54 AM
I roll two kinds of characters: Killbots and Avatars.

The former is just that, a tool through which I may wallow in simplistic escapism by efficiently accomplishing goals and lowering the global population in impressively large bouts of violence and mayhem. There is (typically) very little emotional attachment involved as the game is played like any other.

The latter type, on the other hand, tend to manifest more along the lines of method acting exercises on steroids. While often wonderful experiments that explore what it might feel like to see the world through the eyes of a person with a drastically different personality than one's own, sometimes what is discovered can be a little... -overwhelming. Delving too far into the mind of a killer can directly result in losing sleep for days as dreams distort into metaphorical reflections of the concepts being shuffled around in the back of one's mind. This approach is also a mixed blessing when writing, especially if the subject matter is rather less than entirely uplifting and wholesome.

Corey
2010-03-17, 03:53 PM
The family.

About a maid I sing a song
Sing rickety-tickety-tin
About a maid I sing a song
Who did not have her family long
Not only did she do them wrong
She did every one of them in

tyckspoon
2010-03-17, 04:45 PM
About a maid I sing a song
Sing rickety-tickety-tin
About a maid I sing a song
Who did not have her family long
Not only did she do them wrong
She did every one of them in

....
It's your own fault if it's too loooong...
you should never have let me begin!
Begin, begin, you should never have let me begin!