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Katana_Geldar
2010-03-11, 09:50 PM
I'm the regular GM for our Star Wars game, so for a lot of the time it was up to me to find a place, secure a time, recruit players, juggle the sheets as well as build the campaign.

This week I'm not, my friend is DMing a D&D session and I have a break from the chair. But, I am still doing ALL of the above barring writing rhe campaign.

I really don't want to be the social coordinator for our group, but no one else is willing (or capable) of stepping up to do it. Any other DMs find this? That you somehow end up being everyone's mother?

The J Pizzel
2010-03-11, 09:58 PM
Simply put...yes.

valadil
2010-03-11, 10:01 PM
Yeah, it kinda sucks. Step up or don't play. One of my PCs even asks me what we're eating 2 days before the game. I keep telling him DM doesn't stand for Dinner Master, but it has yet to sink in.

Scoot
2010-03-11, 10:03 PM
Yes. :smallannoyed:

I need to not be in every single campaign our club runs.

That might help.

Bibliomancer
2010-03-11, 10:03 PM
You could try assigning the tasks to various other players in eachchange for bonus xp in-game (if you're the DM) or offers of in-character alliances (if you're not). Apart from that, often you need to organize a lot of it yourself, unfortunately, especially if the DM is delegating to you.

Katana_Geldar
2010-03-11, 10:04 PM
Yeah, it kinda sucks. Step up or don't play. One of my PCs even asks me what we're eating 2 days before the game. I keep telling him DM doesn't stand for Dinner Master, but it has yet to sink in.

ROTFL!

One of the players was asking me to make the tenth change to his character sheet, as I have DDI and he doesn't. I finally told him I wasn't going to change it again as I was preparing to be pdfed, and the only reason I changed it in the first place was he wanted me to change his race from elf to half-elf and I had a feat tied to Elven Accuracy.

And then there's all the ideas spouting out left right and centre for my campaign when it starts. They're all really good, but can he just stick to one?

BobTheDog
2010-03-11, 10:05 PM
In my RPG circle, there's actually two of us how "manage" stuff. It's still not something other people will just get up and help with, but at least it's not "if I'm not there, the game is off".

Katana_Geldar
2010-03-11, 10:09 PM
Biblio, the DM didn't delegate, if just sort of...fell to me unoffically as I am usually the one who does those sort of things. She does help with the organisation, but not as much as I do.

valadil
2010-03-11, 10:15 PM
One of the players was asking me to make the tenth change to his character sheet, as I have DDI and he doesn't. I finally told him I wasn't going to change it again as I was preparing to be pdfed, and the only reason I changed it in the first place was he wanted me to change his race from elf to half-elf and I had a feat tied to Elven Accuracy.


We share accounts. It's easier that way. Once you download the updates you can (as far as I can tell) continue using the CB beyond level 3 even if you don't continue to update.

Some of my players still expect me to print things for them though. I didn't mind this in 3.5, but I resent printing a 3-5 page character sheet every level.

Pink
2010-03-11, 11:12 PM
I am quite lucky. For the most part I just need to run the game and give advice and consultation on rules and character building when requested. There are a couple things that help with this I think. This is not so much a column of advice, so much as things that I am grateful for.

Do not play at the DM's place. The DM will have enough things to do than worry about entertaining, and the resulting cleaning and what-not that might entail (or not, geeks are not necessarily known for the cleanliness and organization of our dens). This also helps to take away the emphasis of the DM to provide things like food and such.

Have regular play dates and times. While there is a need to be flexible (one player can't make it until an hour later, maybe do loot selling or play munchkin till they arrive), and I realize that some groups simply lead lives too chaotic to accommodate this, but if you can, same time, same place works wonders. before everyone leaves, a quick check to see if everyone is good for next week is all you need. If it turns out half can't make it, maybe change the date for a week, or just skip a week and the DM has a chance to plan more.

Bring your own snacks. Though not an official rule with my group (as we all tend to be fairly generous with our snacks), if you want food, you bring it yourself, and it's your food.

My players are also trustworthy enough that aside from keeping track or their HP saves and AC, I don't look at their sheets too often, and as long as I know what they're taking at level up, they can manage them how they like.

Honestly, if your players are really very hard to get together, demand food from you, and require your place to play, they either need to be giving you a lot of appreciation or require a firm talking too. Games tend not to exist without a game master.

Stubbed Tongue
2010-03-11, 11:31 PM
I can tell you how it works in our group: Those with wives/families/kids/full time jobs tell those that don't have those constraints what days are good for them and somehow a game is born.

taltamir
2010-03-11, 11:33 PM
if your group is made of overgrown children who need you to control everything, then use your control and assign tasks.
if its made up of adults, then you don't have to do anything yourself.

Swordgleam
2010-03-11, 11:50 PM
Do not play at the DM's place.

I tried that for a while. The result was having to carry a ton of books, and my players' housemates interfering. Now that it's at my house (and everyone but one housemate games), things are much easier. I think the lack of carrying stuff and interference makes up for having to clean up and provide snacks. But that's just my case; other people's players might live with more respectful friends.

valadil
2010-03-12, 12:01 AM
I tried that for a while. The result was having to carry a ton of books, and my players' housemates interfering. Now that it's at my house (and everyone but one housemate games), things are much easier. I think the lack of carrying stuff and interference makes up for having to clean up and provide snacks. But that's just my case; other people's players might live with more respectful friends.

I agree with this. Packing up all my notes, books, and minis is more tedious than doing some dishes and taking out the trash. I also like to reread my notes right before the game. If I have to travel at all I lose out on that prep time.

Gamgee
2010-03-12, 12:08 AM
ROFL LOL!

Providing snacks? I am not some service, we are a group of friends who play a game together. I just happen to do more of the work, but find it rewarding and fun.

They can get a drink if they want and they usually do (Makes sense being human and all), and IF I OFFER them some food and they want to they can have that as well. Otherwise they expect nothing but a good game.

If I was ever expected to start offering snacks and all this other crap I would consider charging them. I'm not a rich man, and it isn't like I have a car or license either.

Fuzzie Fuzz
2010-03-12, 12:15 AM
I tend to do most things, but hosting is worth it to me. I can keep all my books and notes in one place, and there's no travel time.

The players manage their own sheets, though figuring out who's going to be there inevitably falls to me, and often requires some prodding. And occasionally speaking in haiku. Even though we always meet at the same time on the same day in the same place, they still act surprised we're meeting.

But I get to set rust monsters on them, so it's even. :smallwink:

EDIT: And we usually order pizza. And in order to appease their DM, they don't make me pay. :smallbiggrin:

randomhero00
2010-03-12, 12:44 AM
In my group we all pitch in, clean up, pay for our own food, etc. Time is always a problem though. There is always at least 1 person late, often 2.

taltamir
2010-03-12, 12:47 AM
laptops plus searchable pdfs (only of the books you have bought)...
never have to carry a book again.
it is a shame they aren't available in the kindle store.

Kylarra
2010-03-12, 01:25 AM
I keep a copy of everyone's character sheets for our 4e game (which I am not DM of) on my laptop, and I plan to do so for our Exalted game (which I am ST of).

Other than that, we always meet at the same place, and scheduling is based on when people are available. My friend usually handles that one as he is the unfortunate who happens to be the common link between us all.

Jastermereel
2010-03-12, 01:58 AM
My group had been meeting weekly for years before we started playing D&D. We'd generally meet around 6 or 8 at a house (generally two of the people did most of the hosting to ease driving distances and because they had better tablespace), order dinner from some takeout place (always takes too long, but it works out).

Often enough the DM isn't the host (though that was the case for a while) so there isn't a single person perceived as "in charge", not that there was before. However, as we generally play at a single residence, the person keeps a lot of the resources (though the DM keeps their own notes) and brings them to the other house if they aren't the evening's host.

Once we started D&D every other week, the pattern didn't really change too much. We'd have various people call the others to make sure everyone can make it for the game, they'd arrive, we'd order, eat, play, clean up and go. Not a lot of trouble to it.

We try to get a sense of our schedules in advance so that if one or more can't make it (in a group of 11, this happens fairly often) we bump the game by a week to try and accommodate the most schedules. Once we subdivided from 1 group (1 DM and 10 players) to two groups (2 DMs and 4/5 players) in the same place, but on other sides of the room for the game, the schedule hiccoughs were a little trickier as a single absence was more visible in a game and calling off one game often means calling off the other so everyone can play something else together (Catan, Carcassone, Rock Band, etc.

ryzouken
2010-03-12, 02:18 AM
Our group dynamic is... interesting.

Two of our members do not have motor vehicles due to economic background or whatever else, resulting in three or four of us accepting a "pilot" rotation, whereby we retrieve said person in exchange for fuel money or bridge toll as requested by the driver (I'm in this group). In exchange, one of said members is the primary(-ish) DM, and the other is the secondary(-ish). The secondary is also our "comms officer" as he carries the contact information for every member of our group on his phone or computer. We routinely have four or so laptops at the game table, two possessed by "pilots" and two by the GM's, usually used for rules reference and internet searches when needed. We primarily meet biweekly at our local game store (with whom we maintain good relations), but if a GM wishes to break schedule to run an extra game on an off weekend, it falls to him to get a group consensus as to when the game can be played and where. Normally this entails the "pilots" determining carpool arrangements for meeting at the "comms officer's" home, as he is the furthest away from the rest of our group's cluster (we live in cities X, Y, and Z, he lives in Q).

It's really quite the interesting dynamic, with the group's constituent members coming together to shuttle two of our otherwise out of reach players to the game table each week. I've yet to see a group of similar devotive bent (though I'm certain they exist). Now if only we could get everyone in on time... :smallbiggrin:

Glass Mouse
2010-03-12, 04:37 AM
Yeah. I do this a lot. Not to say that I don't enjoy organizing things, but... yeah, it gets annoying at some point.

In my one D&D group, one day I flatly didn't want to both GM and organize anymore. The only organization needed was actually just finding a date, but with this group, it's a hazzle anyway (learn to answer a simple message, people!).
So I told them I didn't want to, and thankfully, we had one guy who actually cared enough about gaming that he stepped up instead (he's cool like that).

In my other group, organization is a lot more smoothly. This is mostly thanks to the GM who is a very organized individual, but maybe you can use some of our ideas.
* We can't play at regular dates, and no one wants to do a lot of work calling around, so we plan out dates in advance when we meet. Before each session, the GM sends out a reminder, "Hey, we're playing then and there, see ya!", and cancellation is to be told (on our own initiative, of course) as early as possible.
* Snacks are on rotation, with the GM excempt. He's got a nice little box where you get a slash if you brought snacks one time. The person with least slashes is assigned with bringing snacks the next time (also included in the reminder).
* Place? Usually at the GM's, but sometimes another player offers a table.

In my third group (just started), I'm the GM, and I seem to have been given this role automatically. At least, no one else has ever suggested a playing date. They help out calling around, though, so only the initiative is really up to me.
On the other hand... I'm the GM. I do most work already. Don't expect me to bend over backwards for you if you're lazy. The way I see it, if there's no gaming without me, then people just don't want to play badly enough. And really, why play if people don't care for it?
Of course, they may simply stay lazy out of habit ("Ah, X is the organizer; if s/he hasn't called, s/he just hasn't had a free date yet.")

So, if it bothers you, find a solution. Either assign the work to someone else (hopefully someone will step up) or, if gaming is really only up to you, find a solution that requires minimum effort on your part.
Or accept that you want to play a lot more than the other guys, and find a new group that actually cares.

Don't break your neck mothering a bunch of lazies ::smallsmile::

[/end monstrous post]

Egiam
2010-03-12, 04:44 AM
*Heavy sigh*


That's sort of how it works in my group. Two of us are responsable, mature roleplayers. The rest are fine, but don't really have the dedication/skills/drive. We basically trade the role of GM back and forth between us, and schedule games/snacks. We are kind of grooming one of our players to take up the role. She is showing plenty of promise. :smallsmile:

a typical hero
2010-03-12, 05:14 AM
I used to do most of the things but I got tired.

Told them to be proactive or we simply would not play.

Now they are doing the stuff on their own and I have more time for the campaign.

We never had a problem snacks and so on. Either everyone brings his own meal/drinks or we order some pizza.

UncleMark
2010-03-12, 07:39 AM
Always at my house, but then again my group is a bit different. See my group consist of my son and 5 of his high school buddies, they are all seniors and all but 1 still live with their parents and 1 still doesn't have his own car. I DM for them. Would be a bit odd for one of the group to tell mom "hey I got friends coming over to play D&D" and have one of those friends be a mid-40's "older male hanging out with kids kind of vibe going on" so they just meet at my house. Besides I've got more room and less distractions.

The wife does however feel that is mandatory that she fixes something for them to eat. Burgers, tacos, pasta, something and lots of snacks and drinks on hand.:smallsmile: They are still growing boys afterall. She doesn't play but after every session she will ask "Did you have fun at your play date?"

Kol Korran
2010-03-12, 08:59 AM
ROTFL!

One of the players was asking me to make the tenth change to his character sheet, as I have DDI and he doesn't. I finally told him I wasn't going to change it again as I was preparing to be pdfed, and the only reason I changed it in the first place was he wanted me to change his race from elf to half-elf and I had a feat tied to Elven Accuracy.

And then there's all the ideas spouting out left right and centre for my campaign when it starts. They're all really good, but can he just stick to one?

One of my players, my best friend actually, keep making new characters every 3-4 sessions. i don't want to say no to him, since it's his fun as well, but it frustrates the hell out of me. especially trying to find ways to introduce his new character, and for the party to trust him (since he plays some what of a smart ass every time!

about arranging everything- meeting place, sheets and the likes. in most of my groups we had a deal- the DM brings the adventure and DMs for the group (and record changes in sheets), but the party does all the rest- including food, arranging a meeting place, maintaining a wiki site and so on.

really, just discuss this with the group, and make them understand all the burden cannot, and will not, fall upon you.

Lin Bayaseda
2010-03-12, 09:33 AM
I used to do most of the things but I got tired.

Told them to be proactive or we simply would not play.I did this a few weeks ago. Two of the players bluntly said they aren't interested in doing anything beyond showing up. I haven't seen them since. The rest are doing fine though.

AtwasAwamps
2010-03-12, 09:50 AM
My group is kind of odd that way. We game at one person’s house and he and his girlfriend are generally in charge of food. They handle it well…either we order in or…he goes a little crazy and has been barbecuing all day and brings in huge piles of beef and chicken. Usually it’s the food ordering thing. Sometimes I pick up food or booze, but since I have become one of the defacto DMs of the crowd, they’re willing to handle little stuff for me.

We have a set day to game and we don’t decide on what we play till everyone is there. Everyone has a game. I have one of the ones most often played as an “after hours game” when people who have bedtimes go home. Our main “DM”, one of the guys who basically ran games constantly before I joined and showed my willingness to run games, is the den mother. He gathers people up, calls them, makes sure everyone knows what’s going on. I am worried, though, because recently his wife had a baby and he wasn’t supposed to be attending…and he called me and said “Make sure you call everyone and don’t let them cancel!”

…I don’t have everyone’s phone numbers. Or contact info. Or e-mail addresses. And he’s my ride to the gaming house!

I mean, we got things sorted out, but I was like “I’m junior den mom now? What the heck?”

Choco
2010-03-12, 09:53 AM
I feel your pain, my group is the same way. I guess since I am the one that got the group together, I am by default the one that is in charge of keeping it together.

Gnaritas
2010-03-12, 09:54 AM
As a player i started email-ing and calling people if they were going to attend. It seemed before i joined the group they just came (or not), sometimes leading to people travelling several hours to find out there were only 3 players out of 6 (which meant the session would be cancelled).

I also try to help people with ideas and optimization for their characters, and correcting mistakes if i get to see their sheet (some do not want other players to see their sheet, which i can understand completely).

I took over the job from the DM of picking up players at the trainstation.

Oh, and now i am the DM.

All this is probably because i am willing to spend time on D&D outside of sessions. Alot of others are less devoted.

Anyway, i guess it makes sense a bit, a DM already is a "devoted" (not sure if its the right word) D&D player (yes, a DM also plays), probably more organised and willing than others, not refraining from taking up a task that needs to be done.

Grollub
2010-03-12, 11:40 AM
Yeah, it kinda sucks. Step up or don't play. One of my PCs even asks me what we're eating 2 days before the game. I keep telling him DM doesn't stand for Dinner Master, but it has yet to sink in.

LoL... i'd be like.. umm whatever yer bringing for us all !! :smallcool:

But ya.. last group I dm'd, most the players expected food provided all the time. They also needed to be called the morning of the game to "double check" they didnt go and make other plans and decide not to show up to the game ( which they were almost always late for, usually an hr or two ).

Soonerdj
2010-03-12, 11:52 AM
Well luckily I live with 2 of my players so it isn't hard to guess the place.
The hard part is that I'm on a college campus and one night we had a ton of people over and ended up playing pong instead (note: our games are on Monday)

Other than that, I don't mind. Better than the alternative of not playing/

Glass Mouse
2010-03-12, 12:01 PM
I did this a few weeks ago. Two of the players bluntly said they aren't interested in doing anything beyond showing up. I haven't seen them since. The rest are doing fine though.

Oh... Well, at least they were honest.

@AtwasAwamps: Lol, I want a barbequeing GM, too! :smalltongue:

AtwasAwamps
2010-03-12, 12:53 PM
@AtwasAwamps: Lol, I want a barbequeing GM, too! :smalltongue:

Ha! He's no DM. He's just the only person with a house AND has no large family to get in the way (we live in different parts of NYC).

He just has a grill. Which is awesome.

sadie
2010-03-13, 07:46 PM
In our group, we have a solution of sorts. The other players sort out plenty of transport, bring plenty of snacks, appreciate the work that went into cooking and are generally polite. In return we provide a good proper meal and coffee. And how did we achieve this miracle? It's not just that they're good guys (though they are, of course).

Simple. We get them to pay. Not a lot - five quid, less than pizza would cost - but the act of them physically handing money over each week reminds everybody that some work went into it. That can make a surprising difference.

(i'm not even DM (yet))

Deca
2010-03-13, 07:48 PM
Yeah, it kinda sucks. Step up or don't play. One of my PCs even asks me what we're eating 2 days before the game. I keep telling him DM doesn't stand for Dinner Master, but it has yet to sink in.

Our DM owns a little hobby store that we hold our games in. He does provide food and drink for players, but only if we're willing to pay for it.

Zexion
2010-03-13, 07:50 PM
Look at it this way: most people view food as being served up on a platter. Take the platter away, and make them get up and get it themselves.

DabblerWizard
2010-03-13, 09:16 PM
DMs have plenty of tasks they have to take on: game prep, encounter prep, story prep, loot and xp prep... etc.

Having to take on game location, food, reminders, clean up, etc, is a lot to ask of one person.

Either you take on the tasks yourself, or delegate them out to your players. If they complain, then you simply tell them, for instance, that if they don't bring food, there will be no food, that you as a DM have plenty of things to worry about. If you host at your place, and want people to help you clean up, then you ask people to help you clean up. If they don't help you, you can choose to do it yourself, or cancel a week's gaming session out of principle.

The point I'm making, is that DMs, and players, have options. They can choose to be helpful towards each other, or not. You can come up with a million contingencies and circumstances that I'm not considering, to explain why you "have to" do everything yourself. You can also choose to change your world in your favor.

HunterOfJello
2010-03-13, 10:02 PM
I tried delegating duties and the group fell apart because no one would do any of them.

valadil
2010-03-13, 11:56 PM
Our DM owns a little hobby store that we hold our games in. He does provide food and drink for players, but only if we're willing to pay for it.

They don't expect me to provide food, just to choose it. Maybe previous GMs of theirs have declared GMs have food selection privileges?