D&D making monster (Mangled)

[wizuriel]

So trying to make my own monster for an upcoming game. Just wondering what people think. Tried reading stickies and the MM and think it looks like a resonable monster in some regards...:smallconfused:. Pretty sure I actually saw most of this somewhere and yoinked it ;)

edit: In hindsight I really should have done this as a template that just turns your type into an Aberration and gives the new abilities.

Once a regular humanoid, a Mangled is a creature that has experimented too much on ways to better themselves. At first look the creature looks like only a deformed humanoid. Using clever disguises and personality Mangled like to get close to their victims before revealing the horrific truth. The flesh of the creature is in constant fluxx exposing the muscles, bones and organs underneath. The bones pop and reform to cover the pulsing organs as they move around seeking cover beneath the elusive flesh. The skin constantly squirms around as if alive and ever hungry. The ever hungry flesh of the Mangled drains its victims of their strength while it dissolves them.


Mangled
Medium Aberration (Augmented humanoid)
Hit Dice: 8d8+40 (76 hp)
Speed: 30 ft. (6 squares)
Initiative: +2
Armor Class: 17 (+2 Dex, +5 Natural), touch 12, flat-footed 15
Base Attack/Grapple: +6/+13
Attack: Slam +9 melee (1d6+4 + 1D6 Acid)
Space/Reach: 5 ft./5 ft.
Special Attacks: Acid, Constrict, Flesh Hungers, improved Grab
Special Qualities: Darkvision 60 ft, Frightful Presence (DC 18), Immune To Critical Damage, Regeneration 3
Saves: Fort +7 Ref +4 Will +6
Abilities: Str 16, Dex 14, Con 20, Int 15, Wis 11, Cha 18
Skills: Bluff +16, Escape Artist +18, Disguise +16, Sense Motive +12
Feats: Combat Expertise, Improved Disarm, Improved Grapple
Challenge Rating: 7
Treasure: standard
Alignment: Any evil
Advancement: By character class
Level Adjustment: —

Combat

Acid (Ex)
A Mangled's flesh can secrete a digestive acid that quickly dissolves organic material. Any melee hit or constrict attack deals acid damage. Armor or clothing dissolves and becomes useless immediately unless it succeeds on a DC 19 Reflex save. A metal or wooden weapon that strikes a Mangled also dissolves immediately unless it succeeds on a DC 19 Reflex save. The save DCs are Constitution-based.

Constrict (Ex)
A mangled deals automatic slam and acid damage with a successful grapple check. The opponent’s clothing and armor take a -4 penalty on Reflex saves against the acid.

Improved Grab (Ex)
To use this ability, a Mangled must hit with its slam attack. It can then attempt to start a grapple as a free action without provoking an attack of opportunity. If it wins the grapple check, it establishes a hold and can constrict.

Flesh Hungers(Ex)
A Mangled that is constricting an opponent loses its Dexterity bonus to Armor Class and has an AC of 15 and can not run. A mangled can still slam opponents and attempts Grapple even with opponents currently constricted with its flesh. Each round opponents are in a grapple with a Mangled they must succeed on a DC 19 fortitude save or take 1D4 Strength damage. The save DCs are Constitution-based.

Regeneration: Mangled take normal damage from fire.

Skills: A Mangled has +4 racial bonus to Escape Artist checks.


edit:
Creating a mangled
Size and Type
The creature’s type changes to Aberration. Do not recalculate Hit Dice, base attack bonus, or saves. Size is unchanged.

Armor Class
Natural armor improves by +5 (this stacks with any natural armor bonus the base creature has).

Attacks
A Mangled retains all the natural weapons, manufactured weapon attacks, and weapon proficiencies of the base creature. A Mangled also gains a slam attack.

Damage
Natural and manufactured weapons deal damage normally. A slam attack deals damage depending on the Mangled's size. (Use the base creature’s slam damage if it’s better.)

Special Attacks
A mangled retains all the special attacks of the base creature and gains the following special attack (all con based).
Acid (Ex)
Constrict (Ex)
Improved Grab (Ex)
Flesh Hungers(Ex)

Special Qualities
A Mangled has all the special qualities of the base creature, plus the following special qualities.

Darkvision out to 60 feet.
Frightful Presence (CHA based)
Regeneration X (not sure how to calculate this, probably should be based on hit dice)
Immune to critical damage

Skills
+4 bonus to escape artist

Challenge Rating
Same as the base creature + 2

[lightningcat]

It should have three feats for its HD, and check your spelling. It looks ok otherwise, but I didn't check all of your numbers.

[The Vorpal Tribble]

This should do it for you. He also gains 2 more feats (in addition to his bonus feats).

Not quite sure by what you mean it is not grappled as it grapples, but I'll let you work it out.

Mangled

Medium Aberration
Hit Dice: 8d8+40 (76 hp)
Speed: 30 ft. (6 squares)
Initiative: +2
Armor Class: 20 (+2 Dex, +8 Natural), touch 12, flat-footed 18
Base Attack/Grapple +6/+13
Attack: Slam +9 melee (1d6+4)
Space/Reach: 5 ft./5 ft.
Special Attacks: Flesh Hungers
Special Qualities: Darkvision 60 ft., Frightful Presence (DC 18), DR 5/Bludgeoning, Regeneration 3, immune to critical damage
Saves Fort +7 Ref +4 Will +6
Abilities Str 16, Dex 14, Con 20, Int 15, Wis 11, Cha 18
Skills: Bluff +16, Escape Artist +18, Disguise +16, Sense Motive +12
Feats: Combat Expertise, Improved Disarm (B), Improved Grapple (B)
Challenge Rating: 7


Combat

Flesh Hungers (Ex): When a mangled grapples an opponent its flesh races to consume the poor victim. Each round the Mangled grapples, its victim takes 2d4 acid damage and must make a fortitude save (DC 19) or take an additional 1d4 strength damage. The Mangled is not considered in a grapple with its victim. The save DC is Constitution-based.

Regeneration: Mangled take normal damage from fire.

Skills: A Mangled has +4 racial bonus to Escape Artist checks.

[Debihuman]

Aberrations have a BAB of 3/4 not full BAB. So at 8 HD it has a BAB of +6.
; Grapple is correct at +9.

It is missing full attack. Can it only make 1 Slam or can it make 2 slams on a full attack? Since Slam is a natural attack, it gets to use 1 +1/2 its STR as damage bonus. If it is straight Str bonus it is +3 not +2. Otherwise it would be +4. You always round down. 1/2 of 3 is 1.5 so you round down to 1.

It is missing Touch and Flat-footed AC.

Why does it have a Cha of 18? "Charisma measures a character’s force of personality, persuasiveness, personal magnetism, ability to lead, and physical attractiveness." I realize it isn't going to win any beauty contests, but it doesn't seem to have much of a personality or personal magnetism.

Debby

[wizuriel]

cheers for the advice and fixes. Yeah it should be +6/+1 for attacks. So need to fix the full attack.

What I'm trying to do with the not counted in a grapple is he can still attack things while grappling someone. He attacks and his flesh latches on to someone dissolving them and draining them of their strength. In teh meantime he just drags them around and attacks others or tries to flee with his catch.


For the high cha I wanted the guy to be able to infiltrate cities. Using disguises and personality to lure people close and then devour them (or use them as experiments). I plan to use him as a mad scientist like character researching lichdom. He is so messed up and mangled from the many experiments and failures he has tried on himself.

CR looks right for what it can do?

[Debihuman]

cheers for the advice and fixes. Yeah it should be +6/+1 for attacks. So need to fix the full attack.

Not for natural attacks. It only gets +6 and doesn't get the +1 for natural attacks. If it can make 2 slams they are both at +6. Natural attacks are different from attacks with weapons. If it used a weapon it would use the +6/+1 attack for the weapoin.


What I'm trying to do with the not counted in a grapple is he can still attack things while grappling someone. He attacks and his flesh latches on to someone dissolving them and draining them of their strength. In teh meantime he just drags them around and attacks others or tries to flee with his catch.

Not sure I understand this. If he attacks and latches on, there is a different special ability for that. It is called "Attach" and is listed in the SRD. See Weasel and Stirge for examples.

You don't have Str drain listed anywhere. You have a Fort save for Acid damage, which is not the same thing.


For the high cha I wanted the guy to be able to infiltrate cities. Using disguises and personality to lure people close and then devour them (or use them as experiments). I plan to use him as a mad scientist like character researching lichdom. He is so messed up and mangled from the many experiments and failures he has tried on himself.

I think your initial description needs some work because it doesn't jive with what you've just said. A+16 bonus for this creature isn't very effective since it will be opposed by a Spot check for anyone trying to see through the disguise. In addition, there are negative modifiers for trying to look like a different creature. It's an Aberration not a Humanoid. If it was formerly Human or Humanoid perhaps you should have mentioned it. That's what the Augmented Subtype is for.

Debby

[wizuriel]

hmmm. Think need to rethink the flesh hunger thing. I'm kind of going for something like the ooze acid but also triggers when he grapples. I think for flesh hunger pretty much combining acid, constrict and attach?


and yeah after reading Augmented Subtype it should have that for humanoid.


Once a human a mangled has experimented too much on their quest for immortality or to better themselves. At first look the creature looks like only a deformed humanoid. Using clever disguises and personality Mangled like to get close to their victims before revealing the horrible truth. The flesh of the creature is in constant fluxx exposing the muscles, bones and organs underneath. The bones pop and reform to cover the pulsing organs as they move around seeking cover beneath the elusive flesh. The skin constantly squirms around as if alive and ever hungry. The ever hungry flesh of the Mangled drains its victims of their strength while it dissolves them.


Mangled

Medium Aberration
Augmented subtype (humanoid)
Hit Dice: 8d8+40 (76 hp)
Speed: 30 ft. (6 squares)
Initiative: +2
Armor Class: 20 (+2 Dex, +8 Natural), touch 12, flat-footed 18
Base Attack/Grapple +6/+13
Attack: Slam +9 melee (1d6+4 + 1D6 Acid)
Space/Reach: 5 ft./5 ft.
Special Attacks: Acid, Constrict, Flesh Hungers, improved Grab
Special Qualities: Darkvision 60 ft., Frightful Presence (DC 18), DR 5/Bludgeoning, Regeneration 3, immune to critical damage
Saves Fort +7 Ref +4 Will +6
Abilities Str 16, Dex 14, Con 20, Int 15, Wis 11, Cha 18
Skills: Bluff +16, Escape Artist +18, Disguise +16, Sense Motive +12
Feats: Combat Expertise, Improved Disarm (B)
Challenge Rating: 7


Combat

Acid (Ex)
A Mangled's flesh secretes a digestive acid that quickly dissolves organic material and metal, but not stone. Any melee hit or constrict attack deals acid damage. Armor or clothing dissolves and becomes useless immediately unless it succeeds on a DC 19 Reflex save. A metal or wooden weapon that strikes a Mangled also dissolves immediately unless it succeeds on a DC 19 Reflex save. The save DCs are Constitution-based.

Constrict (Ex)
A mangled deals automatic slam and acid damage with a successful grapple check. The opponent’s clothing and armor take a -4 penalty on Reflex saves against the acid.

Improved Grab (Ex)
To use this ability, a Mangled must hit with its slam attack. It can then attempt to start a grapple as a free action without provoking an attack of opportunity. If it wins the grapple check, it establishes a hold and can constrict.

Flesh Hungers(Ex)
A Mangled that is constricting an opponent loses its Dexterity bonus to Armor Class and has an AC of 18 and can not run. A mangled can still slam opponents and attempts Grapple even with opponents currently entangled with its flesh. Any opponents being grappled must succeed on a DC 19 fortitude save or take 1D4 Strength damage. The save DCs are Constitution-based.

Regeneration: Mangled take normal damage from fire.

Skills: A Mangled has +4 racial bonus to Escape Artist checks.

[Lord Vukodlak]

Edit: Well I was going to suggest giving Improved Grab but you posted your update version while I was writing my post

[Debihuman]

Also, for 8 HD, it should have 3 regular feats. If you give it the Augmented Human Subtype, you could also give it the bonus Human feat.

Why does it have +13 grapple? Grapple is BAB (+6) + Str modifier (+3) + size modifier (+0). You were correct at +9. I think VT didn't check you on this. Grapple should be +9 not +13.

Here's a partial new look:


Mangled
Medium Aberration (Augmented Human)
Hit Dice: 8d8+40 (76 hp)
Speed: 30 ft. (6 squares)
Initiative: +2
Armor Class: 20 (+2 Dex, +8 Natural), touch 12, flat-footed 18
Base Attack/Grapple +6/+9
Attack: Slam +9 melee (1d6+4 plus 1d6 acid)
Full Attack: Slam +9 melee (1d6+4 plus 1d6 acid)
Space/Reach: 5 ft./5 ft.
Special Attacks: Acid, Constrict, Flesh Hungers, Improved Grab
Special Qualities: Darkvision 60 ft., DR 5/Bludgeoning, Frightful Presence (DC 18), Immune To Critical Damage, Regeneration 3
Saves: Fort +7 Ref +4 Will +6
Abilities: Str 16, Dex 14, Con 20, Int 15, Wis 11, Cha 18
Skills: Bluff +16, Escape Artist +18, Disguise +16, Sense Motive +12
Feats: Combat Expertise, Improved Disarm (plus 2 more; one is the Human bonus feat)
Environment: Any Land
Organization: Solitary
Challenge Rating: 7
Treasure: None
Alignment: Any evil
Advancement: None
Level Adjustment: —

Feats that I recommend: Power Attack, Alertness (you didn't give it any ranks in Spot or Listen).

Why is this creature immune to critical damage? Usually that is reserved for Incorporeal creatures.

Last of all, I put the Special Qualities in alphabetical order and added Environment, Organization, Treasure, Alignment, Advancement; Level Adjustment.

Debby

[wizuriel]

Why does it have +13 grapple? Grapple is BAB (+6) + Str modifier (+3) + size modifier (+0). You were correct at +9. I think VT didn't check you on this. Grapple should be +9 not +13.
he added improved grapple as a feat and I thought was a good idea so added that also.


Why is this creature immune to critical damage? Usually that is reserved for Incorporeal creatures.
Thought was his organs and vitals are in constant fluxx/motion so hard to do critical damage.

So thoughts on CR and template to try and make these guys? Did remove the DR since I think that might be a tad strong for his CR (and think immune to crit and regen make more sense)


edit: made changes to first post