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StoryKeeper
2010-03-15, 11:08 AM
What moments in gaming are among your most lame? This can be anything from a dice roll that turned up the worst result at the worst time to a moment in which you went temporarily catatonic because your fellow gamers were so far out of character you couldn't figure out how to react, to characters that seemed so cool back in the day, but which are really quite embarassing in retrospect.

For your reading pleasure, I present Athose Sheen, my first character I made after actually reading the rules for DnD.

I set out to craft an epic back story full of plot hooks and internal struggles. My friends being chaotic neutral at best, and more likely evil, I didn't think they'd mind me making a necromancer character. Nothing wrong with that right? So I wrote the backstory about how Athose had been infused with a demon spirit at birth by Orcus (I swear I hadn't seen Naruto yet -_-.) His sorcerous abilities (granted by the demon) lead to years of persecution by the local village folk which, after the death of his parents at the hands of a murderous agent of Orcus (he didn't knwo the guy worked for Orcus) culminated in a spectacular display of arcane and unholy power as Athose slaughtered everyone in the village while the demonic presence in his mind took over.

Now a thoroughly emo and mentally scarred lunatic, Athose was eventually convinced by the demon in his head that Orcus was his best pal, and taught him the clerical rights of the demon prince. He went around after every fight trying to command or create undead (though he never got any due to the damage to the corpses done by our evoker sorcerer.) Oh, and did I mention that he had never bothered to pick up some decent clothes, and thus was always garbed in tattered rags complete with long sleeves that went below his hands and carried a SCYTHE into battle.

I still love that character for the imagery, even if it is angsty and cliche in the extreme. He was fun to play though I'd have to modify his personality to make him a better character for others to interact with.

Superglucose
2010-03-15, 11:10 AM
Lamest moment was when I was helping someone playtest his homebrew and he kicked me out because my character was too powerful.

Yukitsu
2010-03-15, 11:13 AM
DP: I'm going to build a tesla coil to help us defend ourselves.
DM: We're on a charged metal airship.
Me: Full of wizards. You only said two things, and there are two things wrong with what you have proposed.
DP: And a laser.
Me: Setting aside that we don't have the refinement tools to get a single wavelength cohesive light beam, that won't particularly help as much as say, shooting them with a metal harpoon attached to a metal tether, plugged into the charged metal airship. That and wizards.
DP: Fine, I'll make a harpoon and a tesla coil.
DM: Meh. I think I'm just going to allow this.
Me: I'll be well away from any blame that could be attributed over this.

Resolved when DP was thrown out of the airship, fortunately for him, from 40 feet above the ground. And the rest of us are thankful that we still had 40 feet to the ground.

Mongoose87
2010-03-15, 11:13 AM
Eberron setting. Epic level characters. My guy has ridiculously high saves, due to being a Paladin with pimped-out charisma. Every member of the party also has a device that provides a re-roll once a round, at the cost of two action points.

I need to make five saves. The DC is low. The only way I can fail is by rolling a one. But, I can re-roll, so the only way I can die is rolling two ones.

Stupid dice.

arguskos
2010-03-15, 11:16 AM
Lamest moment was when I was helping someone playtest his homebrew and he kicked me out because my character was too powerful.
LOLWUT. That's just... wooooow. Way to fail, Mr. Homebrew-Guy (not you, the other dude).

My lamest moment was a long time ago, when I was actually deposed as DM, for being a ****. :smallsigh: I rapidly learned to not be a draconian DM, and I am better for it.

StoryKeeper
2010-03-15, 11:20 AM
My lamest moment was a long time ago, when I was actually deposed as DM, for being a ****. :smallsigh: I rapidly learned to not be a draconian DM, and I am better for it.

Ouch. That couldn't have felt good. Gad you came out of it improved though. Have they let you try DM'ing since then?

LichPrinceAlim
2010-03-15, 11:21 AM
Mine actually was last fricken week. We had our XDM, who finally stopped playing his broken Incubus Bard and instead was a Drow Summoner/Wild Mage, who in a fit of rage, when he cast summon monster, accidentally summoned a cow. furious, he slung his dice and said that he tried to resummon a different monster, and instead he summoned a Cow Demilich with a gestalted Commoner 20//Wizard 18/Archmage 2. He fell over laughing at the Cow Demilich

arguskos
2010-03-15, 11:24 AM
Ouch. That couldn't have felt good. Gad you came out of it improved though. Have they let you try DM'ing since then?
1. That was.... 7 years ago. I was 14.

2. I don't play with that group any more. Haven't in a LOOOOOONG time.

3. I don't play. I DM. I've not been a consistent player in.... 9+ years.

So... yes. :smallwink:

Everyman
2010-03-15, 11:58 AM
In a battle of cosmic power, with the fate of the universe at stake, I took down an ancient vampire mage in the last round of combat. By summoning an celestial badger on a ledge above him. The badger actually auto-hit and inflicted three points of damage...which was two more than needed to defeat him.

In the same game, a fiendish badger had previously defeated the party near the beginning of the campaign. We like to joke that the badger switched sides (or has a punch-clock)

Totally Guy
2010-03-15, 12:08 PM
My big bad got owned. His whole scheme centred around a point I'd misheard the players decision about.

Worst of all though was that all this was happening without dice being rolled. So I don't think it had the climax that it should have. I wasn't letting them win, but without the dice rolls I can't prove otherwise.

Hyozo
2010-03-15, 12:30 PM
Four level 5 gestalt characters, two of them druids and another a wizard, against a CR3 astral construct which was SUPPOSED to be a relatively easy challenge for one of them who had gotten lost to overcome on their way back to the party.

I had to start fudging rolls to keep them alive.

Choco
2010-03-15, 12:31 PM
...to a moment in which you went temporarily catatonic because your fellow gamers were so far out of character you couldn't figure out how to react...

Every session the past 2 years!

Now for the lame:

A long time ago, I thought it was a good idea to plan out/play a Mystic Theurge from level 1. We all know how useful casters are low level, and I was useless in 2 casting classes simultaneously for twice as long as I shoud have been.

My favorite though was when I was DM'ing a scifi game. This was MUCH funnier than it was lame, but I rate it lame in the sense that it killed the RP something aweful. I had this NPC pilot on the PC's spaceship that occasionally got his words mixed up (replace the word he should say with one that sounds similar but is completely unrelated), and the first time this trait popped up:

Me as pilot *in character*: "Buckle up, we bout to enter ourselves a hemorrhoid field"
PC1 *OOC thinking I made a mistake*: "You mean asteroid"
Me *in character thinking PC1 was being in character*: "Yeah, that's what I said"
PC2 *OOC, also thinking I made mistake and previous line was OOC*: "No, you clearly said hemorrhoid, I heard it"
Me *in character, now figuring out they didn't get that line was on purpose*: "Yes I know, so buckle up cause those hemorrhoids aint getting any farther"
PC1 *OOC, still doesn't get it*: "See you did it again, it's ASTEROID"
Me *in character, just messing with them by this point*: "DAGNABBIT, I KNOW, THATS WHAT I SAID, QUIT REPEATING ME!!"
PC2 *OOC, also still doesn't get it*: "Dude, seriously what is wrong with you, you dont have to yell"
PC3 *OOC, laughing his ass off*: "You idiots, he knows, he was in character this whole time"
PCs 1+2 *OOC*: "oooohh... can we forget this conversation happened then, that wasnt in character was it?"

Satyr
2010-03-15, 12:32 PM
Probably the introduction to the most overestimated rule mechanism ever:

GM: The goblin is going to stab you with his spear *rolls* and he hits you.
Me: I try to parry.
GM: No you can't.
Me: I can't? Why? I am a trained warrior, I've got a shield, I try to parry it.
GM: There aren't any rules for parries. The goblins hits you.
Me: Can't I do anything?
GM: You can attack.
Me: ... :smallannoyed:

Passive defense... how anybody could like this mental fart is completely beyond me.

Greenish
2010-03-15, 12:43 PM
Probably the introduction to the most overestimated rule mechanism ever:

GM: The goblin is going to stab you with his spear *rolls* and he hits you.
Me: I try to parry.
GM: No you can't.
Me: I can't? Why? I am a trained warrior, I've got a shield, I try to parry it.
GM: There aren't any rules for parries. The goblins hits you.
Me: Can't I do anything?
GM: You can attack.
Me: ... :smallannoyed:

Passive defense... how anybody could like this mental fart is completely beyond me.If it hits you, you failed to parry it, trained warrior or not. (Wouldn't you block with a shield anyway?)

Not having to make several opposed rolls when you attack (or do something else) makes the game flow better, IMO. That's also why I like PF's combat maneuver system.

Each for their own, I guess. :smallwink:

arguskos
2010-03-15, 12:44 PM
Probably the introduction to the most overestimated rule mechanism ever:
Your ability, Satyr, to turn a fun topic into a soapbox never ceases to astound and amaze me. Never change. :smallbiggrin:

Tinydwarfman
2010-03-15, 12:48 PM
Your ability, Satyr, to turn a fun topic into a soapbox never ceases to astound and amaze me. Never change. :smallbiggrin:

I have to agree with him here though, after playing with target locations and active defenses I feel so helpless playing melee in d&d...

arguskos
2010-03-15, 12:50 PM
I have to agree with him here though, after playing with target locations and active defenses I feel so helpless playing melee in d&d...
Eh, yes, I have mixed feelings on that subject, but, uh, this isn't a soapbox thread. It's more for anecdotes about things you did that were kinda deflating (such as poor Glug's example).

If you'd care to start a thread talking about the lack of active defenses in 3.5, I'd be happy to come and participate (even if only mildly). :smallwink:

absolmorph
2010-03-15, 01:00 PM
(Wouldn't you block with a shield anyway?)
Well, you could hit the spear away with the edge of the shield. I guess. Or something.
Blocking with a shield makes MUCH more sense.

Satyr
2010-03-15, 01:40 PM
I was twelve back then; not the right age for semantic finesse.

No, seriously, if you are used to be able to defend yourself in a game, have only a very shaky grasp on the rules and are then stabbed by a stinking goblin, it is a huuuuge letdown and can let you keep an irrational hatred fo an innocent rule mechanism for years, even decades.

Fallbot
2010-03-15, 01:48 PM
So anyway! Lame RPG moments!

So one player had just managed to annoy an otherwise friendly young white dragon.

DM: Ok, your character knows that white dragons can easily be appeased with with gifts.
Player: Oh, ok. I offer her 35 gold.
Me:...You're going to bribe a dragon with 35 gp !?
Player: Yeah. Why, do you think that's too much?
DM & other players: *stare in horror*

LichPrinceAlim
2010-03-15, 01:52 PM
So anyway! Lame RPG moments!

So one player had just managed to annoy an otherwise friendly young white dragon.

DM: Ok, your character knows that white dragons can easily be appeased with with gifts.
Player: Oh, ok. I offer her 35 gold.
Me:...You're going to bribe a dragon with 35 gp !?
Player: Yeah. Why, do you think that's too much?
DM & other players: *stare in horror*

Reminds me of this one with our Dwarf in Adamantine Heavy Plate with a spring-loaded harpoon gun...

Player: I roll to shoot my harpoon into the dragon
(rolls a 19, which our Dm said impaled the dragon for 10 damage)
DM: Now what? you're hooked to the sleeping blue dragon.
Player: I yank on the chain to make a bigger hole.
(DM and PCs stare in horror)
DM: You wake the very angry dragon up. Enjoy your Flight...
(The Dwarf is carried off, as we all make listen checks)
DM: You hear the dragon roar, "Come Dwarf! Visit the Woods!!!!"

Swordgleam
2010-03-15, 01:55 PM
Eberron setting. Epic level characters. My guy has ridiculously high saves, due to being a Paladin with pimped-out charisma. Every member of the party also has a device that provides a re-roll once a round, at the cost of two action points.

I need to make five saves. The DC is low. The only way I can fail is by rolling a one. But, I can re-roll, so the only way I can die is rolling two ones.

Stupid dice.

I once had the party - around level 4 at the time - make a DC 5 dex check to avoid tripping over some rubble while climbing up a half-demolished staircase. I'm not sure why; I think we just hadn't rolled any dice in a while and I wanted to hit home the point that this place was falling apart.

The elven ranger rolls first and makes her check. The human paladin in plate is above her. He fumbles. I laugh and say, "Okay, you trip and stumble into the ranger." The dragonborn cleric (in cloth) says, "Wait a second. I just fumbled." I shake my head and say, "Okay, you fall into the paladin, who-" Then the dragonborn fighter in scale interrupts me. "I just fumbled."

At this point I apply my head to the table with some force and say, "You all lose a healing surge."

The sad thing is that, dice or no, this is a pretty fair summation of that party's normal functioning. Why they were climbing stairs in order of heaviness, I will never know.

Bucky
2010-03-15, 02:33 PM
The sad thing is that, dice or no, this is a pretty fair summation of that party's normal functioning. Why they were climbing stairs in order of heaviness, I will never know.

It makes for a better trip report.

Godskook
2010-03-15, 03:06 PM
Well, you could hit the spear away with the edge of the shield. I guess. Or something.
Blocking with a shield makes MUCH more sense.

Actually, in my experience, having a free hand and a short weapon is the most dangerous thing a spearman can see an enemy equipped with. Typically means dead spearman in my boffer experience.

Anyway, on subject.

I think the lamest one for me was this:

Me: Ah, a clear and blatant trap, likely triggered by weight sensitive panels in the floor. Let's wait for the party's warlock, who can fly, to go ahead and see if there's a lever to turn it off.
Not-the-warlock: I jump down.
Me: :FacePalm:

Greenish
2010-03-15, 03:12 PM
Reminds me of this one with our Dwarf in Adamantine Heavy Plate with a spring-loaded harpoon gun...

Player: I roll to shoot my harpoon into the dragon
(rolls a 19, which our Dm said impaled the dragon for 10 damage)
DM: Now what? you're hooked to the sleeping blue dragon.
Player: I yank on the chain to make a bigger hole.
(DM and PCs stare in horror)
DM: You wake the very angry dragon up. Enjoy your Flight...
(The Dwarf is carried off, as we all make listen checks)
DM: You hear the dragon roar, "Come Dwarf! Visit the Woods!!!!"That's the reason they invented immovable rods. You got pretty thick-skinned dragons in your neck of the woods though, if getting hit by a harpoon gun didn't wake it up.

Dust
2010-03-15, 03:16 PM
It has been a long, long campaign. We didn't know what we were getting into when we made our characters, and it ended up being a heavily-investigate supernatural plot with none of us having relevant skills. Both players and GM were getting frustrated by our inability to stop the BBEG's plot because we had no idea what was going on, and the GM often said things like "I wish I knew some way to drop hints, just to get the story rolling again."

My character is betrayed by his friend of more than a decade, and the friend is very regretful about the whole thing. The GM later confided to me I could have talked my way out of the situation.

So I'm dangling out of a moving train by the neck, gasping for air and trying to convince the npc that he doesn't need to do this, the usual hero banter, and finally decide it's going nowhere and change tact.

"Just tell me....before you kill me....why? Who's making you do this?"

There's a long pause around the table and everyone leans in earnestly, hoping for a bit of OOC knowledge that will help make sense of more than a year of confusion.

The GM/NPC pauses. You can see him thinking. Our eyes shine hopefully.

"Nah." says my pal, killing my character.

TheFallenOne
2010-03-15, 03:46 PM
How about my Dwarfen Scout who hits level 4 next session, but to date only managed to get Skirmish-damage once(and thanks to 1s both on skirmish and weapon didn't even manage to knock out the KOBOLD he attacked)? Either I miss terribly or the enemies are immune to crits(Elementals, Undead, Constructs, Oozes, Swarms... We're playing the Eberron adventure path starting with Forgotten Forge). Having to be the meatshield since the rest of the party are an Artificer, Cleric/Rogue, Sorcerer and Warlock/Sorcerer is a factor too.
Though it has its upsides. As the only one proficient in martial weapons(took a fighter level) there wasn't even a discussion on who gets the shiny magical longsword we found :smallbiggrin:

Lamest(but funny) moment of another player:
Marvel RPG
"I'm sorry, I interrupted you. What did you want to say?"
Said Wolverine to Spiderman. I had a good laugh :smalltongue:(though admittedly that evening wasn't my best one either)

StoryKeeper
2010-03-15, 03:46 PM
Actually, in my experience, having a free hand and a short weapon is the most dangerous thing a spearman can see an enemy equipped with. Typically means dead spearman in my boffer experience.
Me: :FacePalm:

Wait wait wait. Spearmen DON'T like opponents with bad reach and only a single blade to block with? What rules set do you use? Are you allowed to grab his spear or something?

Yukitsu
2010-03-15, 03:48 PM
Both lamest and most awesomest moment for me here.

My character was riding around in a police copter with a bunch of interpol agents trying to chase down a dangerous cultist, when we noticed him with a rocket launcher aimed at us. I turned to face the police officer that had been hounding the party up until we agreed to help them out, and said "You know, I hate you all very much." and lept out of the helicopter at the rocket. Got a hit on my touch attack vs. object AC and found out it was a dud. basically got hit in the chest by a rocket for all of 10 damage on 10 d6 before elegantly face planting in the water.

Dust
2010-03-15, 03:56 PM
Got hit in the chest by a rocket for all of 10 damage on 10 d6 before elegantly face planting in the water.
This is winning, so far. Ouch.

cenghiz
2010-03-15, 04:19 PM
Yey, this is the story about; why my friends won't let me DM horror movies any more.

I have a special homebrew system. It is all about realism - wound system in which separate organs can be damaged and cause specific trouble + skill-based improvement + body-specific stats, like, your arms' strength is different from your legs' strength which is still different from your upper body strength.

Of course, I always play it with notebook, there's no way I can play it without the spiffy program I wrote for it.

About two months ago, my friends asked me to DM a 'Call of Cthulhu' for them. Not only I'm slightly alien to Lovecraft, I also do not know how the occult can be represented in my system. So I said, I'd prepare something different. You have watched Ju-en, a.k.a The Grudge? That's what I thought whould be spooky.

I worked hard, every night, in secrecy, because my wife would play too. Friday night, we met at my house. Did I tell you I have a very cute sound system and an overhead projector which can easily work on a white wall in dim light? The walls of my study room is light green, but it still works perfectly.

So.. The game goes on. They feel the uneasy stuff, they hear about disappearances. They investigate and see glimpses of some queer voices, the boy does the 'run' and I play the sound file of naked footsteps fading in and out. The tension is maxxed out. Then, their first encounter with the cute child from the same movie; - Yes I shamelessly ripped off a portion in which he 'meow's close-up - I play the meowing in the second monitor, which is the overhead projector. My wife starts trembling. A friend backs away and falls flat on his bottom. A girlfriend starts screaming and we can't stop her. My neighbour, who is an ex-lieutenant starts banging on the door in moments. Before I can rush to the door, being the army brute of respectable physical power he frigging smashes down the door and lunges in with his service pistol. We, of course, do not proceed the story, about 5% of which is yet used.

We turn the lights on, wife makes coffee for all of us. The friend who fell on his bottom seems to have a problem with his back. The female friend who was screaming can barely hold herself together. The last friend of mine seems fine, because we watched all three episodes together and I had hinted him about the scenario little. Our neighbour - Uncle Yahya is so frustrated that - possibly he's frustrated because he didn't get to kill anyone - we can barely call him down. The locksmith in on the way.

It was friday night, so it's been three days. My wife still can't sleep alone and she tagged along to my office today, bringing along our 1.5-year-old daughter. She spent the day playing online games in one of the computers. I believe my friends will never play a RP game with me, at least they won't let me DM any more. I ruined my DMing career by overpreparing.

Ranzunar
2010-03-15, 04:28 PM
One of the lamest treasures soon became the most epic one. We went through a dungeon and among many of the treasures at the end we found a Still Metamagic Rod. There's something odd about a stick that has to be moved around in order to cast a spell by not moving at all. Our party tended to be pack rats and we kept extra treasures that we couldn't use all the time. A few sessions later, we are fighting in an airship against this multiheaded dragon that was severely pwning us. The polymorphing sorceror decides to cast fly and be under the ship, having transformed into a roper, and strength drain the dragon. I suddenly remember about the still metamagic rod which is in his Handy Haversack on the airship. One tentacle grab later, we figured out that polymorphed creatures of varied anatomies can cast empowered fireballs quite well.