V and Espresso.

[Penny67]

In comic #81 (http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0081.html) we learn that V wants a coffee maker that makes espresso. However, Elves don't sleep, and therefore don't need things to keep them awake. Thoughts?

[Thanatosia]

In comic #81 (http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0081.html) we learn that V wants a coffee maker that makes espresso. However, Elves don't sleep, and therefore don't need things to keep them awake. Thoughts?
Maybe he just likes the way Espresso's taste.

[Katana_Geldar]

I think you underestimate the power of caffeine (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Caffeine#Pharmacology).

Caffeine is a central nervous system and metabolic stimulant, and is used both recreationally and medically to reduce physical fatigue and restore mental alertness when unusual weakness or drowsiness occurs...Caffeine stimulates the central nervous system first at the higher levels, resulting in increased alertness and wakefulness, faster and clearer flow of thought, increased focus, and better general body coordination, and later at the spinal cord level at higher doses

V may not sleep, but that doesn't mean he/she does not get fatigued as well as the effects that occur by not being rested.. I can so see V burning the midnight oil and having expresso to do more magic.

[Dust]

You guys look WAY too much into the jokes sometimes.

That said, we also know that V loathes resting when there's still things to be done, to the point that trance-deprivation for months is not unreasonable. I can see Rich with an early page of jotnotes on V's character and seeing how the joke would be in keeping.

[Morthis]

You guys look WAY too much into the jokes sometimes.

That said, we also know that V loathes resting when there's still things to be done, to the point that trance-deprivation for months is not unreasonable. I can see Rich with an early page of jotnotes on V's character and seeing how the joke would be in keeping.

As far as I can tell, he did not deprive himself of trancing in order to avoid wasting time, after all, he was still forced to waste 8 hours doing nothing useful. Rather, he avoided it so he wouldn't be reminded of his perceived failure during the Azure City battle.

[dogmac]

I drink espresso and I don't NEED it.
I just WANT it.

(could give up anytime. No, really)

[Starscream]

I drink espresso and I don't NEED it.
I just WANT it.

Me too. The only reason I had to quit drinking espresso is because I got pulled over for speeding on the way home from the coffee shop.

I still say the speed limit only applies if you are in some sort of vehicle.:smallannoyed:

[Inhuman Bot]

Me too. The only reason I had to quit drinking espresso is because I got pulled over for speeding on the way home from the coffee shop.

I still say the speed limit only applies if you are in some sort of vehicle.:smallannoyed:

:smallconfused:

What? I don't ge-

:smallamused:

[tassaron]

Clearly this is foreshadowing the next book, Espresso Drinkin' Fools.

[JonestheSpy]

I predict the Azurite/Goblin conflict will be resolved when the Azurites discover that their new island home has the perfect combination of climate and soil conditions for growing coffee beans, and they rebuild their civilization by spreading Bluebuck's shops in every conceivable corner of the world.

[Maximum Zersk]

Screw Bluebucks! They're gonna call it 'Sapphire Hortons'.

[veti]

I predict the Azurite/Goblin conflict will be resolved when the Azurites discover that their new island home has the perfect combination of climate and soil conditions for growing coffee beans, and they rebuild their civilization by spreading Bluebuck's shops in every conceivable corner of the world.

Paladin of Coffee:

Instead of paladin mount, they get a civet as an animal companion.
Can brew Potion of Haste 3x/day (must be drunk hot, and the drinker can't rest for 6 hours afterwards).
Bluebucks' Irresistible Aroma (at will): attracts the attention of sentient beings within 30', mild Charm effect (if targets fail Will save, user gets +4 to all Diplomacy, Gather Information, Perform and Sense Motive checks for 1 round/level)
Instead of immunity to Fear, they get immunity to Slow and Sleep effects.

[Kobold-Bard]

In comic #81 (http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0081.html) we learn that V wants a coffee maker that makes espresso. However, Elves don't sleep, and therefore don't need things to keep them awake. Thoughts?

:vaarsuvius: is known for her lack of patience. As I understand it (I don't drink coffee and know nothing about it) espresso is extremely small and concentrated. This means you get all the coffee of a normal cup but much quicker, which would fit quite well actually.

[PallElendro]

Caffeine is a central nervous system and metabolic stimulant, and is used both recreationally and medically to reduce physical fatigue and restore mental alertness when unusual weakness or drowsiness occurs...Caffeine stimulates the central nervous system first at the higher levels, resulting in increased alertness and wakefulness, faster and clearer flow of thought, increased focus, and better general body coordination, and later at the spinal cord level at higher doses

I agree. :wink:

[Dancing_Fox]

Me too. The only reason I had to quit drinking espresso is because I got pulled over for speeding on the way home from the coffee shop.

I still say the speed limit only applies if you are in some sort of vehicle.:smallannoyed:

Funny you say that. Just last night I noticed a "Your speed is nnn/hr" traffic signal placed on our street when out for my evening walk.

Needless to say, I pretended I was a car and ran as fast as I could towards it on the road.

I clocked 52km/h as well. Without coffee. Or a car.

(Not that I believe that speed, but that's what speed it measured me as.)

[Starscream]

I clocked 52km/h as well. Without coffee. Or a car.

Interesting. My possible explanations:

1) The machine is broken.
2) The machine lies, just telling everything that passes a random "slightly too high" number, so they slow down.
3) The machine thought you were a car. It noted the time of your arrival at is sensors, the time of your departure, and estimated how fast an eight to ten foot long vehicle would be moving to completely pass by in that time.
4) You are a police scientist named Barry Allen.

[Temotei]

Interesting. My possible explanations:

1) The machine is broken.
2) The machine lies, just telling everything that passes a random "slightly too high" number, so they slow down.
3) The machine thought you were a car. It noted the time of your arrival at is sensors, the time of your departure, and estimated how fast an eight to ten foot long vehicle would be moving to completely pass by in that time.
4) You are a police scientist named Barry Allen.

Combined? :smallconfused:

[blueblade]

Firstly, why hasn't anyone given Veti an internet? I love the paladin of coffee. Although I think the (awakened) Civet is an ACF animal companion, not a mount. Struggling to think of a medium-large size mount associated with coffee/alertness.

of course that just reminded me of additional class feature:


At first level a Paladin of Coffee gains the Alertness feat. Only effective when under a haste effect, or within 6 hours of having been under such an effect.


And I think for Starscreams list, #3 is the most likely conclusion. You start and end in the same amount of time as an 10 foot long car. Actually, if anything that seems kind of low (and I'm surprised you registered).

[Deliverance]

:vaarsuvius: is known for her lack of patience. As I understand it (I don't drink coffee and know nothing about it) espresso is extremely small and concentrated. This means you get all the coffee of a normal cup but much quicker, which would fit quite well actually.
It goes even deeper. Espresso is extremely small, concentrated and a liquid. V is small, concentrated, and mostly liquid. By comic book conventions, that means that V being made mostly of espresso is a very reasonable deduction. :smallwink:

The conclusion is inescapable: V drinks espresso to sustain his precious bodily fluids. :smallbiggrin:

[Petrocorus]

Paladin of Coffee:

Ok, i decided to take it seriously, so...



Instead of paladin mount, they get a civet as an animal companion.

What are the stat of the civet?



Can brew Potion of Haste 3x/day (must be drunk hot, and the drinker can't rest for 6 hours afterwards).
Bluebucks' Irresistible Aroma (at will): attracts the attention of sentient beings within 30', mild Charm effect (if targets fail Will save, user gets +4 to all Diplomacy, Gather Information, Perform and Sense Motive checks for 1 round/level)

What features this two ones replace? It's a bonus?


Is there a Coffee Domain for Cleric, similar to the Beer Domain (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showpost.php?p=7818842&postcount=87) for Dwarven Cleric?

[Petrocorus]

Interesting. My possible explanations:

1) The machine is broken.
2) The machine lies, just telling everything that passes a random "slightly too high" number, so they slow down.
3) The machine thought you were a car. It noted the time of your arrival at is sensors, the time of your departure, and estimated how fast an eight to ten foot long vehicle would be moving to completely pass by in that time.
4) You are a police scientist named Barry Allen.

Most of this machine require to be well placed and directed to a particular angle (~22°) . And to have the said car at a certain distance.

That's why with mobile ones, if the police officers are not well trained about this, you can be measured at 55 km/h while you're at 45. Or the contrary.

So, they cannot measure the speed of a walking man.

[Scarlet Knight]

Paladin of Coffee:
[LIST]
Instead of paladin mount, they get a civet as an animal companion.


The good news is you get BOTH a civet as an animal companion and a paladin mount .

The bad news is the mount is a burro...:smalleek:

[Asta Kask]

It goes even deeper. Espresso is extremely small, concentrated and a liquid. V is small, concentrated, and mostly liquid. By comic book conventions, that means that V being made mostly of espresso is a very reasonable deduction. :smallwink:

The conclusion is inescapable: V drinks espresso to sustain his precious bodily fluids. :smallbiggrin:

So if you bleed V, you get coffee? It might be a good idea to keep that secret...

[Optimystik]

In comic #81 (http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0081.html) we learn that V wants a coffee maker that makes espresso. However, Elves don't sleep, and therefore don't need things to keep them awake. Thoughts?

Not that he needed it at the time, but apparently elves can drift off against their wishes. (http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0623.html)

[Ancalagon]

Since we saw Xykon in SoD we all know about the Power of Coffee...

[Starscream]

So if you bleed V, you get coffee? It might be a good idea to keep that secret...

:belkar::We've secretly replaced everyone's morning coffee with elf blood. Let's see if they notice.

[Vaarsuvius4181]

It's not enough to say that this is A COMIC?

[CoffeeIncluded]

So if you bleed V, you get coffee? It might be a good idea to keep that secret...

...Wait...:smalleek:

[Asta Kask]

Well, it could also be that you have to dry him, roast him and grind him to a fine powder. I'm not certain that's better, though.

[veti]

What are the stat of the civet?

Good question. I've never actually met a civet. But I imagine you wouldn't go too far wrong if you use the base stats for a weasel (http://www.d20srd.org/srd/monsters/weasel.htm).


What features this two ones replace? It's a bonus?

Hmmm. Okay, we want to keep it balanced, don't we? The Brew Potion replaces Lay On Hands, and the Aroma replaces Aura of Courage. (Potions have no XP cost, but do require 10gp worth of beans.)


Is there a Coffee Domain for Cleric, similar to the Beer Domain (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showpost.php?p=7818842&postcount=87) for Dwarven Cleric?

Not yet, but if you want to stat one out I'm all ears.

[Asta Kask]

Not yet, but if you want to stat one out I'm all ears.

Haste? There's something called Alacritous Cogitation, but I don't remember what it did? Time Stop is another possibility.

Suggested Granted Power: +2 to Initiative checks.

[Petrocorus]

Good question. I've never actually met a civet. But I imagine you wouldn't go too far wrong if you use the base stats for a weasel (http://www.d20srd.org/srd/monsters/weasel.htm).


In this case, it has to be a Dire Civet. Because it replace one of the best Paladin's class feature.


Not yet, but if you want to stat one out I'm all ears.

Ok, i will try, but i'll need help.


Create Coffee or Remove Fear
Aid or Expeditious Retreat
Haste (obviously)
Break Enchantment or Heroism? (Coffee so good..)
Charm monster? (They want coffee too.)
Heroes' Feast (Coffee, Chocolate, Croissants...)
Cat's Grace, Mass
Irresistible Dance? (Too much caffeine)
Time Stop?





Haste? There's something called Alacritous Cogitation, but I don't remember what it did? Time Stop is another possibility.

Allow to leave empty a spell slot to fill it on the run.


Suggested Granted Power: +2 to Initiative checks.

Sound good for me.
Or free Improved Initiative?
EDIT: Or maybe a free Brew Potion feat?

[veti]

Limitation: the cleric must drink at least one cup of coffee per day per two cleric levels, or lose all domain abilities until he gets back into the regime.

1. Grind Beans, Brew Coffee (as Paladin haste potion - includes heating water but not creating it - need a separate Create Water if none available.)
2. Froth (ench) (equivalent to Charm Person, but involves handing the target a coffee)
- Loyalty Card (creates coffee out of thin air, no materials needed)
3. Haste, Create Beans (enough for 1 espresso shot per level)
4. Freedom of Movement effect to coffee (with duration as spell, i.e. the effect lasts long after the the Haste has worn off).
5. Appetite Suppressant (abj): prevents creatures in 30' area from eating for 10 mins/level.
5. Match Speed (trans, self, 10 min/level). Whenever anyone in an encounter, on either side, uses Haste, Expeditious Retreat or any other speed-boosting magic, the cleric gains the benefit as well.
6. Passwall.
7. Bluebuck's Instant Takeover: any retail premise gets permanently converted into a coffee shop, unless the owner makes a Will save.
8. Avatar of Coffee: caster gains Haste, True Seeing, Freedom of Movement, Fox's Cunning, Cat's Grace, plus immunity to all hostile enchantments, for 1 minute/level.
9. Time Stop.

[JonestheSpy]

I'm digging the Paladin of Coffee/Coffee domain ideas. Improved Initiative is a must.

some other features:

Sustenance: Coffee replaces need for food and rest, until Fort save fails (check once every 4 hours).

Coffee Party: +4 on Diplomacy checks when both you and people Diplomcy check is being attempted on are drinking coffee and/or sitting in a cafe.

Irritability: -2 Diplomacy if utilizing Sustenance Effect.

Jitters: -2 to Open Locks, Disarm Traps, and Forgery checks, -6 if utilizing Sustenance effect.

Half Caf Extra Foam Non-Dairy Amerimochaccino with Nutmeg: Confusion effect on all retail personnel.

edit:

7. Bluebuck's Instant Takeover: any retail premise gets permanently converted into a coffee shop, unless the owner makes a Will save.


Pure genius...

[Petrocorus]

Now we need to home-brew a new base/Pr class: The Coffee Brewer.

[JonestheSpy]

I almost forgot: Turn/Rebuke tea drinkers.

[Asta Kask]

Now we need to home-brew a new base/Pr class: The Coffee Brewer.

Improved Initiative and Brew Potion as prerequisites.

[Tricksy Hobbits]

Limitation: the cleric must drink at least one cup of coffee per day per two cleric levels, or lose all domain abilities until he gets back into the regime.


Maybe have them start having their charisma decreased after level 10. 5 cups of coffe daily, they'll be impossible to keep up a conversation with.

[Scarlet Knight]

7. Bluebuck's Instant Takeover: any retail premise gets permanently converted into a coffee shop, unless the owner makes a Will save.

Goblin Dan : " ...and that's how I made my SECOND million gold pieces...."

:smallwink:

[Snake-Aes]

Maybe have them start having their charisma decreased after level 10. 5 cups of coffe daily, they'll be impossible to keep up a conversation with.

That's more likely a -2 to diplomacy and maybe a +1 to feint.

[Kobold-Bard]

I almost forgot: Turn/Rebuke tea drinkers.

Foolish person. No one can Turn a true Tea drinker to your evil coffee ways :smallamused:

[Starscream]

Foolish person. No one can Turn a true Tea drinker to your evil coffee ways :smallamused:

A pox on the leaf-drinkers! The power of java compels you! Soon the rivers will run brown with Breakfast Blend! Repent, before it is too lattè!

[Kobold-Bard]

A pox on the leaf-drinkers! The power of java compels you! Soon the rivers will run brown with Breakfast Blend! Repent, before it is too lattè!

I drink neither. You can turn my rivers whatever colour you like. Just hope you can handle the combined might of Stephen Fry (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3kAozE-sKTQ) AND Johnny Vegas (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_2G1Vy44DkI) :smallbiggrin:

[Snake-Aes]

<Hands santo daime tea to those of little faith>

[JonestheSpy]

<Hands santo daime tea to those of little faith>

I find your lack of espresso...disturbing.

http://starwarsage9.com/images/vader-coffee_big.jpg


And they tried to claim it these little hippie bacteria that was behind the Force...


(tip of the mug to webcomic Star Wars: Age 9 for finding and posting the panels from Marvel's 1977 comic adaptation. Yes, apparently the artists thought Vader could drink coffee through his mask.)

[Petrocorus]

So, we know two of the class featurses of the Coffee-Brewer:


<Hands santo daime tea to those of little faith>

Detect Tea Drinker: We need to know them for protecting ourselves from them.



Foolish person. No one can Turn a true Tea drinker to your evil coffee ways :smallamused:

Smite Tea Drinkers: If you can't turn them, smite 'em!

And two new spells:

Purify Coffee:
Clr 0; Drd 0; Sor/Wiz 0; Brd 0; Pal 0; Rgr 0
As Purify Food and Water but with Coffee.


Transmute Tea to Coffee:
Clr 3; Drd 3; Sor/Wiz 2; Brd 2; Pal 2; Rgr 2
As Transmute Mud to Rock but from tea to Coffee.

[Scarlet Knight]

Can he cast Kona cold?

:smallamused:

[Petrocorus]

What is Kona?

EDIT: i've just found it on Wiki, it's an Hawaiian brand.

[Optimystik]

What is Kona?

Based on context, I'd guess a brand/variety of coffee.

[Blaine.Bush]

Can he cast Kona cold?

:smallamused:

Ba-dum tish. (http://instantrimshot.com/)