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KaeKun
2010-03-17, 09:28 PM
This is my first attempt at creating a prestige class, and any (constructive) comments are much appreciated!

After some helpful advice, I have revised the features of this class and hope that this new set-up will better reflect my intentions.


Skyspell
“By the time our enemies realize we are in the sky above them, it is far too late.”
- Mal’reth Broughton, the first Skyspell

The skyspell is a fearsome aerial adversary, with the maneuverability of the most elite aerial combatants and the spells of a high-powered caster at their disposal. They act as the magical artillery firing down upon their enemies to disrupt and surprise ground forces.

Becoming a Skyspell
Becoming a skyspell requires a devotion to and love of both flight and magic. Through meditation or long inflection, those interested in these fields discover the path of the skyspell. Both Divine and Arcane casters may become a skyspell, though characters that wear heavier armor lose some of the benefits of being a skyspell.

Requirements

Spells: Able to cast 3rd -level spells, and able to cast at least 1 spell with the [Air] descriptor.

Skills: Must have Knowledge (Arcana) 2 ranks, Spellcraft 4 ranks.

Special: Permanent fly speed; one week of isolated meditation or inflection atop a cliff.

The Skyspell Hit Die: D6
http://img23.imageshack.us/img23/796/skyspelltable.png
Class Skills (2 + Int modifier per level): Concentration (Con), Knowledge (Arcana) (Int), Jump (Str), Spellcraft (Int), Spot (Wis), Survival (Wis), Tumble (Dex).

Class Features

Weapon and Armor Proficiency: The skyspell gains no proficiency with any weapon or armor.

Spellcasting: The skyspell may continue advancing a spellcasting class she previously belonged to (unless she is unable to advance that class normally for any reason). She gains new spells per day and an increase in caster level (and spells known, if applicable) as though she had also gained a level in the spellcasting class she previously belonged to. The skyspell does not, however, gain any other class features that a character of that class would have gained. If she has had more than one spellcasting class before becoming a skyspell, she must decide to which class to add each level for the purpose of determining spells per day, caster level, and spells known. (Based on Skypledged prestige class, page 127 of Races of the Wild.)

Improved Flight (Ex): At 1st leve, the skyspell gains Improved Flight as a bonus feat. If the skyspell already has Improved Flight, or if she would not benefit from the effects of the feat (she already has Perfect maneuverability), she may choose another Bonus aerial feat in its place. This feat is found on page 151 of Races of the Wild.

Air Affinity (Su): At 2nd level, the skyspell has gained accustomed to aerial based spellcasting and gained a close affinity with the element of air, granting her the ability to cast obscuring mist, wind wall, whispering wind, and gust of wind as spell-like abilities a number of times equal to 1 + the spellcasting ability modifier of her chosen spellcasting class per day. For example, a skyspell wizard (using Int mod) with a modifier of +2 can cast any combination of the spell-like abilities a total of 3 times a day. The skyspell also gains a +4 circumstance bonus in dealing with Outsiders from the Elemental Plane of Air.

Weapon Focus: At 2nd level, the skyspell gains Weapon Focus as a bonus feat. If the skyspell already has Weapon Focus, she may take Weapon Specialization instead. This feat is found on page 102 of the Player’s Handbook.

Flyby Attack (Ex): At 3rd level, the skyspell gains Flyby Attack as a bonus feat. If the skyspell already has Flyby Attack she may choose another bonus aerial fear in its place. The skyspell only benefits from this feat while carrying a light load. This feat is found on page 303 of Monser Manual.

Fast Flight (Ex): Beginning at 3rd level, a skyspell gains a fly speed 10 feet faster than the norm for her race. At 5th level, it is 20 feet faster, and at 9th level it is 40 feet faster. Except that this class feature applies to fly speed rather than land speed, it otherwise functions like the fast movement barbarian class feature described on page 25 of the Player’s Handbook. (Based on feature of stormtalon prestige class, page 132 of Races of the Wild.)

Fortify Spell [Metamagic]: At 5th level, the skyspell gaines the Fortify Spell metamagic feat as a bonus feat. This feat can be found on page 80 of Complete Arcane.

Steady Flight (Ex): At 6th level, the skyspell gains the class feature steady flight, granting her a +4 on saves vs. blowback or knockback effects caused by wind (magical or otherwise) while flying. In addition, the skyspell no longer receives penalties on Attack rolls or Concentration, spellcraft, or maneuverability checks while flying in adverse conditions. The skyspell only benefits from this feature while carrying a light load.

Bonus Aerial Feat: At 7th level, the skyspell learns a new trick useful to aerial combat. Choose a feat from the following list: Aerial Reflexes*, Aerial Superiority*, Born Flyer*. (Based on Bonus aerial feat of stormtalon prestige class, page 132 of Races of the Wild.)
*Feat described in Chapter 6 of Races of the Wild.

Tuilviel’s Grace (Su): At 7th level, the skyspell gains Tuilviel's grace, granting her darkvision out to 60 feet and a +4 AC bonus to defensive casting when under the night sky. This ability only works outside, above ground, and does not allow her to see through magical darkness. The skyspell also gains a +2 bonus to Spot checks.

Arcane Mastery: At 8th level, the skyspell gains Arcane Mastery as a bonus feat. This feat is found on page 73 of Complete Arcane.

Improved Hover (Ex): At 9th level, the skyspell is treated as having the Improved Hover feat, even if she would not normally meet the requirements for the feat. Improved Hover allows a Small or Medium sized creature to be treated as a Large creature for the Hover feat, gaining the advantages as such. A creature that is already of Large size or larger now causes 2d6 points of nonlethal damage to all creatures caught in the cloud created by hovering, unless they pass a Fortitude save (DC 10 + her Str modifier + her class level). The Hover feat is found on page 304 of Monster Manual.

Heaven’s Barrage (Su): At 10th level, the skyspell has mastered aerial spellcasting. Once per day, she may activate the Heaven’s Barrage ability as a full-round action, granting a ranged touch attack spell a +10 attack bonus (in addition to any other bonuses she normally would add) and dealing an additional 2d8 points of the same type of damage on top of the normal effects of the spell. If the spell does not cause damage ordinarily, the skyspell casts the spell with +8 DC.

Playing a Skyspell
Punishing your enemies with a barrage of spells raining down from the heavens is the way of the skyspell. Without the normal obstacles and obstructions of the battlefield to block your view, you have a unique and superior vantage point from which only the sliest of enemies can escape. You cast spells from a range farther than most archers can match; you can outmaneuver nearly any ground force and most aerial combatants; in the sky, you are the top of the food chain.

Though in flight you are rarely threatened, while on the ground, indoors, or underground, you find yourself at a disadvantage; you still have your spells to fall back on, but without flight, that's all you have. It's easy to forget your allies, but you must work to maintain strong bonds with ground-based friends. After all, you probably can't fly indefinitely, and the more friends you have, the fewer enemies you have to worry about while grounded.

Combat
You are most apt to fighting from a high vantage point suspended in mid-air, and your two main strengths are your spells and your ability to fly. Removing either from you can present a challenging, if not deadly, situation. This is not to say that you are limited in your tactics. You may choose to remain at a safe distance where you cannot be reached by your grounded adversaries, or you may choose to swoop down at your enemies to cause them to become disorientated and take advantage of the chaos to pick the enemy off one-by-one, or you may choose to fight from the ground or in close quarters and use your higher maneuverability to quickly reach any part of the battlefield where you are needed.

The ability to get airborne can also help you before a fight or before your allies enter a new area. Most land creatures fail to regularly think in three dimensions, giving them a distinct disadvantage in noticing an airborne scout. You can spot from farther away, hopefully seeing enemies before they see you, but even if they do see you, it is unlikely that you are in harm’s way. As mentioned before, you can quickly move about the battlefield to where you are needed most, and can even cut off enemies that try to escape.

Advancement
The path of the skyspell is a personal one. Though all skyspells share certain elements in common, such as their love for magic, flight, and the sky, they are very different from one another. Though the inspiration to take up the path often comes from meeting or being told stories of the skyspells, it is not unheard of for a spellcaster to discover the path all his own. Druids with a fascination for the world among the clouds or a raptoran seeking the prowess of the fabled Stormtalons, the raptoran equivalent of a military, but with more talent for spellcasting than melee fighting are examples of characters who find the path all their own. If studying under a skyspell as an apprentice, the prospective skyspell still must fulfill all the criteria to follow the path.

In order to continue along the path of the skyspell, however, you must meditate for one day of the year atop a cliff, usually on the day the path of the skyspell was first discovered (failing to meditate atop a cliff at least once a year does not cause you to lose your abilities, however you may not continue gain levels in the skyspell prestige class until after you have done so). The abilities and aptitudes of the skyspell comes from a combination of practice and insight, so training the mind is just as important as training the body to be prepared to cast spells while flying.

Ex-skyspells
The sky is the lifeblood of a skyspell, not for her body or mind, but for her spirit and emotions. If a skyspell remains underground for one year or longer, or does not engage in any form of flight for one year or longer, the skyspell loses all of her class features from the skyspell class, though she retains the caster levels she has gained. This penalty applies even to a skyspell that was restricted from flight or forced to live below ground against her will. The skyspell must continue to practice her abilities and lifestyle or she becomes disconnected from the original insight that set her on this path.

For an ex-skyspell to regain her abilities, she must recreate the conditions in which she first discovered the path of the skyspell. The ex-skyspell must meditate or inflect atop a cliff in isolation for one weeks’ time for every year she violated the sentiments of the skyspell. For example, a skyspell that does not fly for two years and seven months must meditate or inflect for three weeks in order to regain her abilities.




(Created by Mark R. McKeever (KaeKun), with contributions by Temotei221, herbe, PirateMonk, Ashtagon, and Milskidasith, 2010)

Milskidasith
2010-03-17, 09:43 PM
This isn't worth three lost caster levels. The class features are minimal at best; slight benefits if you have ex flight, including a lot of martial-ey flyby feats, on a spellcaster. If you are a wizard, you lose out on a lot of spellcasting, and if you are a druid, you lose BAB, saves, wildshape, and animal companion, and hit die, and in exchange you get a few barely useful feats.

EDIT: Also, as far as caster classes go, why does this even need to be a caster class? It's only benefit for casters is spontaneous spells at tenth level, and everything else is totally unrelated to casters and more suited for martial types anyway.

KaeKun
2010-03-17, 09:55 PM
What would the opinion be if spellcasting advancement was consistant throughout the class (gaining the full +10 levels), an increased BAB progression, and bonus feats of Weapon Focus: Ranged Spells and other such abilities and features to bolster the class?

I really want to make this prestige class work, making a dedicated airborne spellcaster, after I saw the Skypledged and Skytalon classes, specifically with the description of Skytalon acting as aerial artillery.

Ashtagon
2010-03-17, 10:02 PM
The Reflex and Will save progressions are completely non-standard.

The entry requirements strongly favour clerics/druids; you need either 6 levels of cleric/druid or 8 levels of wizard/sorcerer to hit both the casting and the bab requirement. Not sure if this is intentional, but it doesn't reflect the fluff description.

In any case, there is only one WotC-published PC race that meets the flight ability requirement (that I am aware of). Considering the focus of the class, this is a minor point.

It's not all that useful for casters anyway; beyond being hard to reach for ground-based enemies, better flight doesn't really confer much additional advantage.

Now, if the class granted air-based buff spells, or possibly auras that grant advantages to allied flyers, that'd be interesting.

KaeKun
2010-03-17, 10:35 PM
Hmm, that is another direction I could focus the prestige class. My primary goal is to develop a flight centered spellcasting class, though I admit aside from giving aerial feats and spellcasting classes, I'm not sure what I can add. I'd like for all spell casters with flight to be able to take this class, though I do want it to favor druids and wizards. Clerics who focus on air domain or sorcerers who take air/electricity based spells can get the class, though it is harder because of their spell list. As far as entry requirements, I might reduce or eliminate the BAB required, and drop the spellcasting requirement to only one [Air] descriptor. The extraordinary flight requirement I would like to keep because I don't want to necessarily limit the class to only Raptorans but I do want to make sure that members of the class have a reliable, non-disrupt-able means of flight (other than being bound or incapacitated).

KaeKun
2010-03-17, 10:36 PM
as for the non-standard progression for will and refl saves, they started off standard but got mixed up in the process of rearranging a table- that's just a typo I'll fix

herbe
2010-03-18, 08:49 AM
Can Ogre mage take this PrC ? As i know it can fly via magic (i think its supernatural ) Am i right?
Im interested in because of my D'rath template (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=145143) which also can flight by magic...


How many times can use 2nd level Skyspell his/her spell-like abilities:
1. Each 1 +relevant modifier per day OR
2. All of them (together) 1 + relevant modifier per day

However, I like it because of its creativity this one is unique.
Well done

KaeKun
2010-03-18, 11:45 AM
When I originally created this class I intended it to incorporate flight as an extraordinary ability (non-magical) opposed to a supernatural ability (magical). My main intention for this was that I didn't want the character to gain this class through the Fly spell, though in hindsight I could also achieve this through making the requirement that a character must have a base flight speed (inherent).

The second question can be answered a bit more straightforward. When I created the Air Affinity ability I intended for it to be "1 + spell modifier / day", so all of them together. So a Wizard (using Int mod) with a modifier of +2 can cast any combination of the spell like abilities 3 times a day.

Hope this cleared things up! And again, keep the comments coming! Whether from critiques here or suggestions outside the forum, I think I'm really starting to shape this class more and more to my original goal.

PirateMonk
2010-03-18, 02:02 PM
Summon Monster is an Air spell when used to summon Air creatures, so I don't think a Cleric needs the Air Domain to enter this.

herbe
2010-03-18, 02:02 PM
Ogre mages and creature with d'rath template have inherited ability to fly. So change requirement to Has wing with natural fly speed or allow to ogre mages to entry this class and why not ?
it would be very cool when an ogre mage blast spells from clouds...

KaeKun
2010-03-18, 02:48 PM
If the character has an inherent ability to fly I've changed the requirements to now allow that. I thought over the class a bit and realized that requiring extraordinary flight is a bit restrictive (for a class I do not intend to be a racial prestige). So, after the revision, an Orge Mage would be able to take this class.

As for summoning creatures from the Elemental Plane of Air, I completely had not even thought of that possibility, so Clerics wouldn't be any different than other casters wanting to take this prestige. Good point you brought up, I overlooked it!

Thank you both for the input!

Temotei
2010-03-18, 08:20 PM
Skyspell
“By the time our enemies realize we are in the sky above them, it is far too late.”
- Mal’reth Broughton, the first Skyspell

Oddly worded quote, but that's probably just writing style disparity.


The skyspell is a fierce-some aerial adversary, with the maneuverability of the most elite aerial combatants and the spells of a high powered caster at their disposal. They act as the magical artillery firing down upon their enemies to disrupt and surprise grounds forces.

Fearsome is the word you're looking for. High-powered, on the other hand, can have a hyphen in it, if you like. Ground instead of grounds.


Becoming a Skyspell
Becoming a skyspell requires a devotion to and love of both flight and magic. Through meditation or long inflection, those interested in these fields discover the path of the skyspell. Both Divine and Arcane casters may become a skyspell, though characters that wear heavier armor loose some of the benefits of being a skyspell.

Fluff seems fine, if slightly short. That's okay though. Concisely, you've introduced possible entry classes, prerequisites, and what characters who take the class must go through and might be like.


Entry Requirements
Spells: Able to cast 3rd level spells, and able to cast at least 1 spell with the [Air] descriptor.
Skills: Must have Knowledge (Arcana) 2 ranks, Spellcraft 4 ranks.
Special: Natural fly speed; one week of isolated meditation or inflection atop a cliff.

You could simply put "Requirements" or "Prerequisites" at the top instead of "Entry Requirements." It doesn't really matter though.

Technically, "3rd level" should have a hyphen in it, but that's really getting into the heavy punctuation. :smallamused:

If you want to indent something, use
. For example...
[indent]My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.

Skill requirements are okay, considering you're allowing divine classes in as well.

The natural fly speed is the thing that worries me. Natural flight means you need wings or something else that lets you fly without magic. I recommend changing it to something along the lines of "permanent fly speed."

The reflection time is a good fluff requirement.


The Skyspell Hit Die: D6

Alright...d6 hit dice are right in between the wizard/sorcerer and the cleric/druid, and on par with the bard. Seems kosher.


http://img718.imageshack.us/img718/8711/skyspelltable2.png

Having an image instead of an actual table is a little weird, but acceptable...Reflex and Will as good saves, bad BAB, full spellcasting, and full class features. Might be a bit powerful, but I'll look at the features before I make any judgments.


Class Skills (2+ Int modifier per level): Climb, Concentration, Intimidate, Knowledge (Arcana), Jump, Spellcraft, Spot, Survival, Tumble.
*From the Races of the Wild. ¥From the Monster Manual. †Original ability.

There's no need for the symbols as long as you cite the sources in the feature headings below.

For skills, you should include the associated ability, as shown here (http://www.d20srd.org/srd/prestigeClasses/loremaster.htm).

Or here, for quick reference: The loremaster’s class skills (and the key ability for each skill) are Appraise (Int), Concentration (Con), Craft (alchemy) (Int), Decipher Script (Int), Gather Information (Cha), Handle Animal (Cha), Heal (Wis), Knowledge (all skills taken individually) (Int), Perform (Cha), Profession (Wis), Speak Language (None), Spellcraft (Int), and Use Magic Device (Cha).

Intimidate seems an odd choice for a class skill. Any reason for that? The others all fit pretty well though (except maybe Climb...and Jump...both can be done better with flight. Jump sort of makes sense though, since you might jump to take flight...or something. :smallamused:).


Class Features
The skyspell’s class features focus on continuing her spellcasting class while giving you a maneuverable aerial vantage point.

This is unneeded. Do make a section for weapon and armor proficiencies though, like this: Weapon and Armor Proficiency: Loremasters gain no proficiency with any weapon or armor.


Spellcasting: The skyspell may continue advancing a spellcasting class she previously belonged to (unless she is unable to advance that class normally for any reason). She gains new spells per day and an increase in caster level (and spells known, if applicable) as though she had also gained a level in the spellcasting class she previously belonged to. The skyspell does not, however, gain any other class features that a character of that class would have gained. If she has had more than one spellcasting class before becoming a skyspell, she must decide to which class to add each level for the purpose of determining spells per day, caster level, and spells known. (Based on Skypledged prestige class, page 127 of Races of the Wild.)

Pretty standard fare.


Improved Flight (Ex): A skyspell gains Improved Flight as a bonus feat. If the skyspell already has Improved Flight, or if she would not benefit from the effects of the feat (she already has Perfect maneuverability), she may choose another Bonus aerial feat in its place. This feat can be found on page 151 of the Races of the Wild.

"The" is unnecessary. So far, the class has advanced one spellcasting level and increased maneuverability. Not bad, although a mite bland.


Air Affinity (Su): At 2nd level, the skyspell has gained accustomed to aerial based spellcasting and gained a close affinity with the element of air, granting her the ability to cast Obscuring Mist, Wind Wall, Whispering Wind, and Gust of Wind as spell-like abilities a number of times equal to 1 + the spell modifier of her main caster class (previous spellcasting class with the highest level) per day. For example, a skyspell wizard (using Int mod) with a modifier of +2 can cast any combination of the spell-like abilities a total of 3 times a day.The skyspell also gains a +4 circumstance bonus in dealing with Outsiders from the Elemental Plane of Air.

Spell names should be italicized, not CAPITALIZED.

There's no such thing as a "spell modifier," so maybe that term should be changed. I'd use "spellcasting ability modifier."

The "main caster class" part seems out of place, considering the spellcasting section above.


If she has had more than one spellcasting class before becoming a skyspell, she must decide to which class to add each level for the purpose of determining spells per day, caster level, and spells known.

I'd say "chosen spellcasting class," or something along those lines.


Weapon Focus (Rays): At 2nd level, the skyspell gains Weapon Focus (Rays) as a bonus feat. If the skyspell already has Weapon Focus (Rays), she may take Weapon Specialization (Rays) instead. If Ray spells are not available to a skyspell because of her spell-list, she may then, and only then, take Weapon Focus (Touch Spell) instead. This feat can be found on page 102 of the Player’s Handbook.

Alright. It seems a bit off, but okay. Spell list shouldn't have a hyphen.

I wouldn't limit the Weapon Focus to rays if you're going to allow Weapon Focus (Touch Spell) as a feat. Just let one who takes this class to cast as they please. Using touch spells usually won't be a great choice when they can fly anyway.


Flyby Attack (Ex): A skyspell gains Flyby Attack as a bonus feat. If the skyspell already has Flyby Attack she may choose another Bonus aerial fear in its place. The skyspell only benefits from this feat while carrying a light load. This feat can be found on page 303 of the Monser Manual.

"Bonus aerial fear" should be "bonus aerial feat." Don't capitalize bonus.

Also, as a side note, if you don't want to use the passive voice, you can cite sources by saying "This feat is found on..."


Fast Flight (Ex): Beginning at 4th level, a skyspell gains a fly speed 10 feet faster than the norm for her race. At 8th level, it’s 20 feet faster. Except that this class feature applies to fly speed rather than land speed, it otherwise functions like the fast movement barbarian class feature described on page 25 of the Player’s Handbook. (Based on feature of Stormtalon prestige class, page 132 of the Races of the Wild.)

This is kind of cool, although speed isn't much. It might help with getting farther away from an enemy though, which is a good thing.


Fortify Spell [Metamagic]: At 5th level, the skyspell gaines the Fortify Spell metamagic feat as a bonus feat. This feat can be found on page 80 of the Complete Arcane.

I hate that feat, but I suppose it makes sense. Arcane Mastery would fit too.


Sturdy Flight (Ex): At 6th level, the skyspell gains the class feature Sturdy Flight, granting her a +4 on saves vs. blowback or knockback effects caused by wind (magical or otherwise) while flying. In addition, the skyspell no longer receives penalties on attack rolls or concentration, spellcraft, or maneuverability checks while flying in adverse conditions. The skyspell only benefits from this feature while carrying a light load.

Eh. Flavor only. There's hardly a mechanical benefit from this ability. Right now, I'd call it steady flight though. Don't capitalize class feature names unless they're at the beginning of a sentence, at the beginning of a table row (under "Special"), or in headings. You may have done that above, but I just noticed.


Bonus Aerial Feat: At 7th level, the skyspell learns a new trick useful to aerial combat. Choose a feat from the following list: Aerial Reflexes*, Aerial Superiority*, Born Flyer*. (Based on Bonus aerial feat of Stormtalon prestige class, page 132 of the Races of the Wild.)
*Feat described in Chapter 6 of the Races of the Wild.

Class names are also not capitalized.

This is alright.


Tuilviel’s Grace (Su): At 7th level, the skyspell attains Tuilviel’s Grace, granting her the ability of Darkvision 60ft when under the night sky. This ability only works outdoors, above ground, and see in magical darkness. The skyspell also a permanent +2 bonus to spot checks.

Capitalize the names of specific skills. Spot in this case. Put a space after darkvision and don't capitalize it. The wording is a little off, as well.

New wording: "At 7th level, the skyspell gains Tuilviel's grace, granting her darkvision out to 60 feet when under the night sky. This ability only works outside, above ground, and in magical darkness. The skyspell also gains a +2 bonus to Spot checks."

The name doesn't really seem to fit with the ability though. I was expecting something defensive related to flight.


Improved Hover (Ex): At 9th level, the skyspell is treated as having the Improved Hover feat, even if she would not normally meet the requirements for the feat. Improved Hover allows a Small or Medium sized creature to be treated as a Large creature for the Hover feat, gaining the advantages as such. A creature that is already of Large size or larger now causes 2d6 points of non-lethal damage to all creatures caught in the cloud created by hovering, unless they pass a Fortitude save (DC 10 + creature’s Str modifier). The Hover feat can be found on page 304 of the Monster Manual.

Having a Fortitude save based on Strength without class levels backing it up is practically a guaranteed fail on a casting class. Add class levels to it. Nonlethal does not have a hyphen.


Heaven’s Barrage (Su): At 10th level, the skyspell has mastered aerial spellcasting. Once per day she my activate the Heaven’s Barrage ability as a full-round action, granting a ranged touch attack spell a +10 attack bonus (in addition to any other bonuses she normally would add) and dealing an additional 2d8 points of damage to the normal effects of the spell. If the spell does not cause damage ordinarily, the skyspell instead gains +8 on the DC of any saving throws against that spell.

Put a comma after "day" in "Once per day." Change "my" to "may." The wording is off at one part.

New wording: "...and dealing an additional 2d8 points of the same type of damage on top of the normal effects of the spell. If the spell does not cause damage ordinarily, the skyspell casts the spell with +8 DC."


Playing a Skyspell
Punishing your enemies with a barrage of spells raining down from the heavens is the way of the skyspell. Without the normal obstacles and obstructions of the battlefield to block your view, you have a unique and superior vantage point from which all but the slyest of enemies can escape your eye. You cast down spells from a range further than most archers can match; you can out maneuver nearly any ground force and most aerial contenders; in the sky, you are the top of the food chain.

Here's the lost fluff! :smallbiggrin:

Sliest is the word you're looking for. The wording is also off at that point.

New wording: "...you have a unique and superior vantage point from which only the sliest of enemies can escape. You cast spells from a range farther than most archers can match; you can outmaneuver nearly any ground force and most aerial combatants; in the sky, you are the top of the food chain."


Though in flight you have few threats, while on the ground, inside, or underground, you find yourself at a disadvantage. You still have your spells to fall back on, but you revel in aerial combat. It is easy for as a skyspell to forget your allies, but you must work to maintain strong bonds and allegiances with ground based friends. After all, you cannot fly indefinitely, and the more friends you have, the fewer enemies you have to worry about while grounded.

New wording: "Though in flight you are rarely threatened, while on the ground, indoors, or underground, you find yourself at a disadvantage. You still have your spells to fall back on, but without flight, that's all you have. It's easy to forget your allies, but you must work to maintain strong bonds with ground-based friends. After all, you probably can't fly indefinitely, and the more friends you have, the fewer enemies you have to worry about while grounded."


Combat
You are most apt at fighting from a high vantage point suspended in mid-air, and your two main strengths are your spells and your ability to fly. Removing either from you can pose a challenging, if not deadly, situation. This is not to say that you are limited in your tactics. You may choose to remain at a safe distance where you cannot be reached by your grounded adversaries, or you may choose to swoop down at your enemies to cause them to become disorientated and take advantage of the chaos to pick the enemy off one-by-one, or you may choose to fight from the ground or in close quarters and use your higher maneuverability to quickly reach any part of the battlefield you are needed.

Change "most apt at fighting" to "most apt to fight." Change "can pose" to "can present." Add "where" after "battlefield" at the end.


The ability to get airborne can also help you before a fight or before your allies enter a new area. Most land-based races fail to regularly think in three dimensions, giving them a distinct disadvantage at noticing an airborne scout. You can spot off at a further distance, hopefully seeing enemies before they see you, but even if they do see you it is unlikely that you are in harm’s way. As mentioned before, you can quickly move about the battlefield to where you are needed most, and can even cut off enemies that try to escape.

"Most land-based races..." probably isn't what you want to say, since that makes it seem like only flying races will take this class (right now, that's mostly true). I'd say "Most land creatures." Change "at" after disadvantage to "in." Change "spot off at a further distance" to "spot from farther away." Add a comma after "you," which is after "even if they do see."

Reading this, it seems like the class could use a bit more speed. Maybe you could give another speed boost (up to 30 or 40 feet).


Advancement
The path of the skyspell is a personal one. Though all skyspells share certain elements in common, such as their love for magic, flight, and the sky, they are also very different from one another. Though the inspiration to take up the class often comes from meeting or being told stories of the skyspells, it is not unheard of for a spellcaster to discover the path all his own. Druids with a fascination with the world among the clouds or a Raptoran seeking the prowess of the fabled Stormtalons but with more talent for spellcasting than melee fighting are examples of characters who find the path all their own. If studying under a skyspell as an apprentice, the prospective skyspell still must fulfill all the criteria to follow the path.

The "also" is unnecessary after "they are," but you can keep it if you like. Change "class" to "path," for better flow. Don't capitalize race names (kind of odd, but from what I've seen, you don't). Don't capitalize class names abnormally, as mentioned above.

Here's an example of not capitalizing race names: However, dwarves can move at this speed...


In order to continue along the path of the skyspell, however, you must meditate for one day of the year atop a cliff, usually on the day and cliff that the path of the skyspell was first discovered (failing to meditate atop a cliff at least once a year does not cause you to lose your abilities, however you may not continue along the path until after you have done so). The abilities and aptitudes of the skyspell comes from a combination of practice and insight, so training the mind is just as important as training the body to be prepared to cast spells while flying.

"That" is unnecessary after "day and cliff."

Perhaps you should make it clear that you don't have to meditate on the same cliff as the one you meditated or thought on when you found the path of the skyspell.

You should also make what you mean by "may not continue along the path" clear. Does it mean you can't gain any levels in the skyspell class? Does it mean you don't gain XP? Does it mean you can't gain XP if you are planning on advancing along the skyspell class?


Ex-skyspells
The sky is the lifeblood of a skyspell, not for his body or mind, but for his spirit and emotions. If a skyspell remains underground for one year or longer, or does not engage in any form of extraordinary flight for one year or longer, the skyspell loses all of his abilities as a skyspell, though he retains the caster levels he has gained. This penalty applies even to a skyspell that was restricted from flight or living above ground against his will. The skyspell must continue to practice his abilities and lifestyle or he becomes disconnected from the original insight that set him on this path.

I'd get rid of "extraordinary" before flight. It's misleading, as I know you got rid of that requirement.

I just noted that you've changed the gender of your skyspell. Above, you said "she." Now it's "he." For simplicity, pick one and stick with it.

Change "loses all of his abilities as a skyspell" to "loses all of his/her class features from the skyspell class."

I believe you mean "below ground," not "above ground."


For an ex-skyspell to regain their abilities, he must recreate the conditions in which he first discovered the path of the skyspell. The ex-skyspell must meditate or inflect atop a cliff in isolation for one week’s time per year (rounded up) he violated the sentiments of the skyspell. For example, a skyspell that does not fly for two years and four months must meditate or inflect for three weeks in order to regain his abilities.

Change "one week's time per year (rounded up)" to "one week's time for every year (rounded up)."

I think the "(rounded up)" part should be cut and you should just say for every year, it's one week. It's easier for the DM and the player.

Alright then. Hopefully, that helped you. They were mostly grammar and English changes, but that's okay, right? :smallamused:

KaeKun
2010-03-18, 09:50 PM
Thank you again to everyone! I know I say that a lot, but I really am gracious for any and all the help I receive on this project.