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Amiel
2010-03-19, 07:49 AM
You have completely dominated the totality of your world; be it through usurpation, legitimate control or any other means, your brilliance and power have cemented your position in the annuals of history.
Kings bow before you, angels sing glorious hymns to you and even fiends obey your dicta.

Yet, you seem to suffer from some form of mysterious short-term memory loss. In order to perpetuate upon Creation and reaffirm your success upon other worlds, you have convinced a deity of memory to restore it to you.

What would have you done to arise as the sovereign of your world? What plans, what avenues, what paths would you have tread to reach your deserved place?
Would you have dragged your world through necrotic filth in order to benefit from the vast energies unleashed?
Would you have formed a world association of beggars to raise you from crushing poverty?

You can be of any alignment and any class.

Please provide examples; bonus kudos for creative examples, minimal munchkinary.

adecoy95
2010-03-19, 09:00 AM
i would be the creator of the undead express, uniting the countryside, bringing people together, with death. capable of carrying passengers hundreds of miles instantly, placing undead skeletons 10-30 feet apart from each other in a line, and then using two moves to move up and pass the "cargo" to the next skele......


Please provide examples; bonus kudos for creative examples, minimal munchkinary.

oh

Epinephrine
2010-03-19, 09:05 AM
I like Anasûrimbor Kellhus (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Darkness_That_Comes_Before)' approach.

Through the ability to read the thoughts of others in their subtle body language, make yourself seen as a living deity. Convince the mages to yield their greatest secrets, take command of armies of untold size, and conquer a pretty much willing world.

It'd pretty much take near epic Sense Motive, Bluff, Diplomacy, Intimidate, and a fair bit of intellect.

Awesome series of books, btw.

magic9mushroom
2010-03-19, 09:08 AM
I would have done it by threatening to unleash Pandorym on the gods. Presumably backed up by a fail-deadly system to create a disincentive for them to kill me off first.

Other means possibly include inventing some sort of spell that harvests people's souls, leading to exponentially increasing power.

Soonerdj
2010-03-19, 09:22 AM
Well from seeing God I assume most people will go with a Wizard of some sort. It could be done but their intelligence and often studious nature make unappealing traits for most potential kings. Wizards are the Eyes, Ears, and when need be the Fists of gods but not truly divine themselves. So I nominate the Bard.

The build I would use combines Divine Bard and DMM to allow him to persist not only Glibness but also an array of useful Bard spells. Going for power I would use.

Cleric 1 / Divine Bard 8 / Mindbender 1 / Seeker of the Sublime Chord 10. Then again I would prefer someone with an actual talent finalize (i.e. make good) this build but whatever. If you aren't going for spells I would totally dump in Exemplar or Changeling Rogue Sub levels so you can always take 10 on social checks.

Grommen
2010-03-19, 10:57 AM
i would be the creator of the undead express, uniting the countryside, bringing people together, with death. capable of carrying passengers hundreds of miles instantly, placing undead skeletons 10-30 feet apart from each other in a line, and then using two moves to move up and pass the "cargo" to the next skele......



oh

Now that is some funny stuff, but

Does that not accelerate the package to near light speed in the process due to the movement rules and free actions?

Lysander
2010-03-19, 11:10 AM
I discover that I'm a level one commoner who made a cheeky comment to a high level psion, who in return cast Microcosm (http://www.d20srd.org/srd/psionic/powers/microcosm.htm) on me.

urbanpirate
2010-03-19, 11:14 AM
You are God-Emperor

yes i am. now please move, your half plate is screwing up the reception on my crystal ball

BobVosh
2010-03-19, 01:33 PM
I, too, am a level 1 commoner. Necropolitian. I drowned the universe in a mixture of chickens and bat guano. From killing that many things in a series of free actions I became level A Lot.

I put all my levels into cleric and PrCs for that. I then hunt down and destroyed all the other undead. I rule by virtue of being the only one left.

LichPrinceAlim
2010-03-19, 01:41 PM
I would be the following:

Mindwitness Lich (Equivelant 20th level Sorcerer and Psion baby!)
Class: Monster 20/Beholder Mage 5/Ur Priest 8/Tainted Scholar 5/Contemplative 1/Divine Oracle 1

herrhauptmann
2010-03-19, 05:05 PM
I would take 8 levels as a divination specialist. Then coat my body in small 'land jellyfishes' which would fuse to one another and with my cellular structure.
Granting me regeneration, an infinite lifespan, greater prescient abilities, a body that morphs into a giant worm over the centuries and an aversion to water.

http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0688.html

Volkov
2010-03-19, 06:05 PM
Shamelessly copy the route of the god-emperor of mankind, but be prepared to destroy any of the primarchs who turn on me.

Tiki Snakes
2010-03-19, 06:43 PM
I remember now. I took the throne of God-Emperor the only legitimate way; By superior military might, tactics and political excellency. By the strength of my arms and the force of my will, I siezed leadership of my city, my district and eventually my country. From there, the other, likeminded nations of the world were convinced to form a coalition and dealt with those nations that could not, or would not form lasting and binding friendly ties with overwhelming force.

As the years went by, with me at it's head, this grand new alliance slowly pushed back the darkness. One by one, the major threats to civilisation were put down, pacified, molified or made to work for us. Even the Underdark itself was scourged of it's threats, and though the cost has been high, the result is a Unified, pseudo-republican Empire. A Kingdom of Kingdoms. The ties between it's conglomerate countries and dynasties lasting and mutually beneficial.

The world, once a dark one with a few remaining points of light now blazes with hope and innovation as a new golden age is ushered in. The lives of the population improved immeasurably, (all the while allowing individual cultural identities and traditions to persist where possible), giving the major humanoid races a unified homeworld from which they can go on to colonize the planes themselves.

I am, and was, but a mortal man with mundane means at my disposal, but through the careful choice and cultivation of allies I have forged an Empire that even the Gods must respect. No longer will Man, Dwarf or Elf be the plaything of powerful entities or pawns in the machinations of the lower planes. The Mortal Realm has come of age.

The Age of Enlightenment has begun.

Now, where did I park my flying magitec fortress?

Mando Knight
2010-03-19, 06:44 PM
Obviously, I'd take over through SCIENCE! Ultra-awesome-tech powered armor for me and my Most Trusted Generals, Cool Ships traversing air and space carrying awesome yet totally loyal battle robots from my asteroid-based production facilities to the Earth and my moon. I say my moon because I'd convert the moon into a giant space ship.

...Yes, I'd probably call it the Super-Galactic Battleship Dai-Gurren.

Volkov
2010-03-19, 06:46 PM
Obviously, I'd take over through SCIENCE! Ultra-awesome-tech powered armor for me and my Most Trusted Generals, Cool Ships traversing air and space carrying awesome yet totally loyal battle robots from my asteroid-based production facilities to the Earth and my moon. I say my moon because I'd convert the moon into a giant space ship.

...Yes, I'd probably call it the Super-Galactic Battleship Dai-Gurren.

My navy has bigger ships than yours and is powered by the resources of an empire of ten million star systems. Thou art screwed.

Mastikator
2010-03-19, 06:57 PM
Here's creative: I'd do it peacefully and through everyone wanting me to lead.

HAH, bet no one thought of that.

Volkov
2010-03-19, 06:59 PM
Here's creative: I'd do it peacefully and through everyone wanting me to lead.

HAH, bet no one thought of that.

You are to be executed for heresy by order of the Galactic Tsar.

Mando Knight
2010-03-19, 07:07 PM
My navy has bigger ships than yours and is powered by the resources of an empire of ten million star systems. Thou art screwed.
...My ship is named Super-Galactic Battleship (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TheBattlestar) Dai-Gurren (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TengenToppaGurrenLagann). And it's made from the moon (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Ptitleoredu8eg). Just who the hell do you think I am?

Volkov
2010-03-19, 07:09 PM
...My ship is named Super-Galactic Battleship (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TheBattlestar) Dai-Gurren (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TengenToppaGurrenLagann). And it's made from the moon (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Ptitleoredu8eg). Just who the hell do you think I am?

A little man thinking he can take on someone with ten million times the number of systems he does.

I only need one battleship and some escorts to draw away any fire to obliterate your moon sized object (the battleship's broadside has enough energy to break apart an earth sized planet, much less it's far less dense moon)

Tiki Snakes
2010-03-19, 07:40 PM
A little man thinking he can take on someone with ten million times the number of systems he does.

I only need one battleship and some escorts to draw away any fire to obliterate your moon sized object (the battleship's broadside has enough energy to break apart an earth sized planet, much less it's far less dense moon)

This isn't a crossover thread, Volk. :smallwink:
It's about how you would get to the status mentioned in the first post. Not about how various God-Emperors could conceivably interact.

Volkov
2010-03-19, 07:42 PM
As I said, I shamelessly steal the God Emperor of Mankind from WH40k's rise to power. But avoid all of his mistakes.

Mando Knight
2010-03-19, 07:47 PM
A little man thinking he can take on someone with ten million times the number of systems he does.

I only need one battleship and some escorts to draw away any fire to obliterate your moon sized object (the battleship's broadside has enough energy to break apart an earth sized planet, much less it's far less dense moon)

Then I'll just absorb the attacks. You didn't hear me, did you? I said it's the Super-Galactic Dai-Gurren. When it transforms, it transforms the infinite darkness into light. It becomes unmatched in heavens and the earth. One machine, equal to the gods.

Even if the universe stands in our way... our seething blood will determine what will be! We'll break through time and space to take hold of all of those who would stop us from taking our path!

Volkov
2010-03-19, 07:48 PM
Then I'll just absorb the attacks. You didn't hear me, did you? I said it's the Super-Galactic Dai-Gurren. When it transforms, it transforms the infinite darkness into light. It becomes unmatched in heavens and the earth. One machine, equal to the gods.

Even if the universe stands in our way... our seething blood will determine what will be! We'll break through time and space to take hold of all of those who would stop us from taking our path!

I can one up that, with technology, which is beyond the point of sufficiently advanced (not it's not indistinguishable from magic, it's clearly it's superior in every way shape and form) To consume several billion universes and infuse me with that power.

And if their inhabitants die horribly from this, all the better.

Tiki Snakes
2010-03-19, 08:14 PM
I can one up that, with technology, which is beyond the point of sufficiently advanced (not it's not indistinguishable from magic, it's clearly it's superior in every way shape and form) To consume several billion universes and infuse me with that power.

And if their inhabitants die horribly from this, all the better.

Good for you. "Nuh uh, I win, because I have Super Infinity times as much power!"

Taking your playground boasts of supirior power at face value though, wouldn't this just tear a hole in space and time, creating a second Eye of Terror and birthing a new Chaos God in the progress? (Or, well, several per consumed universe?)

Volkov
2010-03-19, 08:18 PM
Good for you. "Nuh uh, I win, because I have Super Infinity times as much power!"

Taking your playground boasts of supirior power at face value though, wouldn't this just tear a hole in space and time, creating a second Eye of Terror and birthing a new Chaos God in the progress? (Or, well, several per consumed universe?)

Move to the andromeda galaxy. They won't mind (I think.)

DeltaEmil
2010-03-19, 08:19 PM
The Dai-Gurren is powered by "awesomeness" and ludicrous over-the-top clichées the same as the corpse god's empire that rules over one million worlds and is powerless to stop people worshipping him and therefore making the gods of chaos stronger in the first place.

It can be debatable which universe is more ludicrous and eye-rolling (Wh40k or Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann), but this thread is not the place for crossover discussions.
And it will end like this anyway:
"I shoot you. You're dead."
"Did not. I shoot you. You're dead."
"Did not. I have a Force Field. And I shoot you with a bazooka. You're dead."
"Did not. I have a better Force Field. And my starship in space shoots you. And it teleports me away. You're dead."
"Did not. My bazooka can transform into a bigger ship than yours and then transform into a robot that crushes you and everybody else. And it makes that you cannot teleport away"
"Did not..."

And so on.

Volkov
2010-03-19, 08:30 PM
And if pressed I will have a computer recite paula nancy jenning's poetry, nothing can survive that.

dota600
2010-03-19, 08:32 PM
I will use my eyes to cast Geass at will and manipulate everyone to my will. In order to create a perfect world for my sisters.

Yes!!

Volkov
2010-03-19, 08:34 PM
I will use my eyes to cast Geass at will and manipulate everyone to my will. In order to create a perfect world for my sisters.

Yes!!

I counter with terrible poetry.

DeltaEmil
2010-03-19, 08:37 PM
This is a thread about how you became a god-emperor, not how you're countering other god-emperors or who has the bigger e-peen.

Volkov
2010-03-19, 08:40 PM
This is a thread about how you became a god-emperor, not how you're countering other god-emperors or who has the bigger e-peen.

Don't make me start reading the poetry, or typing it. I value my own sanity.

Nerocite
2010-03-19, 08:42 PM
Pazuzu Pazuzu Pazuzu

DeltaEmil
2010-03-19, 08:51 PM
Don't make me start reading the poetry, or typing it. I value my own sanity.I call your bluff.

*Dun dun dun*

But should it be as terrible as you advertise it, it will be the instrument of wrath with which I would have conquered the world.

Volkov
2010-03-19, 09:00 PM
I call your bluff.

*Dun dun dun*

But should it be as terrible as you advertise it, it will be the instrument of wrath with which I would have conquered the world.

The dead swans lay in the stagnant pool.
They lay. They rotted. They turned
Around occasionally.
Bits of flesh dropped off them from
Time to time.
And sank into the pool's mire.
They also smelt a great deal.

A small sample, the actual thing is so terrible anyone but her who reads it dies and their soul commits suicide.

Nerocite
2010-03-19, 09:08 PM
The dead swans lay in the stagnant pool.
They lay. They rotted. They turned
Around occasionally.
Bits of flesh dropped off them from
Time to time.
And sank into the pool's mire.
They also smelt a great deal.

A small sample, the actual thing is so terrible anyone but her who reads it dies and their soul commits suicide.

What are you talking about? That's great stuff!

Volkov
2010-03-19, 09:13 PM
What are you talking about? That's great stuff!
Now Poet Master Gruthos the Flatulent of his poem "Ode to a Small Lump of Green Putty I Found in My Armpit One Midsummer Morning" four of his audience died of internal hemorrhaging, and the President of the Mid-Galactic Arts Nobbling Council survived by gnawing one of his own legs off. Gruthos was said to be "disappointed" by the poem's reception, and was about to recite his masterpiece, "Some of My Favorite Bathtub Gurgles", when his small intestine, in an attempt to save galactic civilization, leapt into his skull and throttled his brain.

Here is a sample of Ode to a small lump of green putty I found in my armpit one midsummer morning.

Putty. Putty. Putty.
Green Putty - Grutty Peen.
Grarmpitutty - Morning!
Pridsummer - Grorning Utty!
Discovery..... Oh.
Putty?..... Armpit?
Armpit..... Putty.
Not even a particularly
Nice shade of green.

Now for an excerpt from his twelve book epic "Zen and the art of going to the Lavatory".

Relax mind
Relax body
Relax bowels
Relax.
Do not fall over.
You are a cloud.
You are raining.
Do not rain
While train
Is standing at a station.
Move with the wind.
Apologise where necessary.

KellKheraptis
2010-03-19, 09:14 PM
The dead swans lay in the stagnant pool.
They lay. They rotted. They turned
Around occasionally.
Bits of flesh dropped off them from
Time to time.
And sank into the pool's mire.
They also smelt a great deal.

A small sample, the actual thing is so terrible anyone but her who reads it dies and their soul commits suicide.

Thankfully destroyed along with her by the Vogon constructor fleet. Anyhow, Kell simply chuckles at the silly mortals of Experiment #367,982,071, yet another Demiplane given time to fully evolve, and feeding Kell's thirst for the depths of human and demihuman ingenuity, as their propensity for stupidity is a known and documented fact (and a poor entity to enter into a quantum equation, save as a means of reduction).

Abd al-Azrad
2010-03-19, 10:42 PM
It all began so innocently. After my wife's tragic death of the Pox, my clockwork creations were the only companions I had. I spent my years mastering their crafting, to the point where they had grown beyond simple toys. I could sculpt them to look like near anything. They were magically animated, Awakened. Each generation was smarter, more playful- and by design, loyal to me alone. They would never age, they would never tire. They would never leave me like she had.

Then, our local regent fell mad. Each day, his demands grew more bizarre; one day he would have all taxes paid in gemstones, the next, cross-bred livestock. When several of the town's prominent business owners approached me, I was initially shocked with their proposal. But none else would stand up to the man, and unless I played my part, we would all surely be doomed. Replacing our Lord with a clockwork copy was a perfect solution.

Surely, some of his closest confidantes must have suspected something, but the copy played its part beautifully. It was benevolent and wise, caring deeply of its subjects. I had played a part in the murder, but the whole town was much better off for it. My conscience was clear.

It did not take long. Others learned of our success, and before I knew it, business was booming. There was always another corrupted local power in need of replacing, and with each job, I grew more skilled. Soon near every city within a hundred miles was governed by a clockwork diplomat, each loyal to me alone. I did not know it at the time, but the Empire was already well on its way.

There were many setbacks, of course. As it grew, too many people learned of my part in an increasing number of murders- they all had to go, one by one, replaced in the same manner as the politicians. And beyond the hundred miles or so, my own knowledge of local politics was limited. Eventually, I had to change my tactics. Eventually, the Empire turned to conquest.

By this point, I had a number of sorcerers that could be ordered to report to my home, teach me deeper secrets and advance my craft. All of their magics, the powers of hundreds of arcanists, priests, and warlocks aided in the construction of a most formidable army, led by a giant, a truly heroic figure to inspire martial rule. The Emperor was born, this way, in battle.

Our reach continued to expand, inexorably. For my part, I kept mostly out of the minor trivialities of the actual rule of our conquered lands. Best to stand back, let our colonies mostly govern themselves. Keep the familiar faces in positions of power. Allow as little change as possible. But with each new victory, the Empire's resources were increased.

Nowadays, the "Emperor" spends most of his time with a number of phenomenally powerful and skillful advisors, plotting each new phase of expansion. Hundreds of my clockwork children lead the world in their own way, knowing to accede to the Emperor but truly loyal only to me. And who am I? Just a lonely old craftsman, living in his cottage in the hills.

DeltaEmil
2010-03-19, 11:19 PM
Ah, that one is from Fable, or whatever the comic is called. Quite good story...

Good ol' Geppetto