Poetry...

[Zeful]

I've started writing a story, which I may post later, but in it poetry figures into the magic system in a big way. But I honestly suck at writing poetry. My attempt which is admittedly a placeholder comes off disjointed and stupid, even to me, and I've no clue how to fix it.
Case in point:
"Spark and crakle, spirits of the storm. Grant your wrath and power to me this morn'.
I call out by ancient decree, lightning sown I now receive.
Through seal given form and soul given strength. I ask to strike beyond arm's length.
Come, wind and rain and violent thunder, and tear my distant foe asunder."

The above took a half-hour to write.

I'm not going to give up on it no matter how bad I am at it, so I'm wondering if there's anyway to get better that will not require me to give up my dignity (as you see, I also dislike poetry a lot, which makes this decision to use it for a story, pretty stupid, but the magic system pretty much requires it) to do so.

[Temotei]

"Spark and crakle, spirits of the storm. Grant your wrath and power to me this morn'.
I call out by ancient decree, lightning sown I now receive.
Through seal given form and soul given strength. I ask to strike beyond arm's length.
Come, wind and rain and violent thunder, and tear my distant foe asunder."

I like the last line, but get rid of the bold words. It'll make it flow better, in my opinion.

The second line is just confusing. "Lightning sown I now receive?" I recommend a change to that part. Maybe "lightning, give unto me!"

Make the bold period a comma.

EDIT: Bold doesn't show up well on periods. Make the bold and underlined period a comma.

Practice makes you a lot better in any endeavor. Practice poetry and you'll eventually get better. Remember, poetry doesn't have to rhyme.

[Zeful]

Actually the "Lightning Sown I now receive" is a plot point. Though, putting down your suggestions we get:

"Spark and Crackle spirits of storm. Grant your power upon me this morn'.
I call out by ancient decree, lightning sown I shall receive.
Through seal given form and soul given strength, I ask to strike beyond arm's length."

With the exception of the first sentance it does flow better (I'm American and "spirits of storm" sounds silly to me). As for the last line I was thinking of changing it to:

"Come, wind and rain and violent thunder, tear my distant foe asunder."

Though it's still fine to me with the "and".

[Temotei]

Actually the "Lightning Sown I now receive" is a plot point. Though, putting down your suggestions we get:

"Spark and Crackle spirits of storm. Grant your power upon me this morn'.
I call out by ancient decree, lightning sown I shall receive.
Through seal given form and soul given strength, I ask to strike beyond arm's length."

With the exception of the first sentance it does flow better (I'm American and "spirits of storm" sounds silly to me). As for the last line I was thinking of changing it to:

"Come, wind and rain and violent thunder, tear my distant foe asunder."

Though it's still fine to me with the "and".

It's always good to have flow. "Grant your power upon me" flows a bit worse than "Grant your power to me." Heck, even "Grant your power unto me" works better.

[Zeful]

Thanks. Now I'm having problems with a new piece. While the last one was supposed to be a invocation and sound like it, this one is actual spoken dialogue (not that the last one wasn't). It sounds way to obvious:

"Careless, to think that power is all that matters. You react solely with fire when confronted with natter. Instincts not yours begin to pull you, and then you simply fail to think it through. I wonder how much is the real girl and how much is the festered pearl? How far are you going to let yourself fall unheeded, before you request the help that is clearly needed?"

I've got no idea how to make this sound more casual.

Some notes: The "festered pearl" line is like the "Lightning sown" line. It's an allusion and I'd like to keep it.

[Makensha]

"Careless, to think that power is all that matters. 12
You react solely with fire when confronted with natter. 14
Instincts not yours begin to pull you, 9
and then you simply fail to think it through. 10
I wonder how much is the real girl 9
and how much is the festered pearl? 8
How far are you going to let yourself fall unheeded, 14
before you request the help that is clearly needed?" 13

I've got no idea how to make this sound more casual.
I divided it into AA BB pattern for ease of sight, added the syllable count at the end, and underlined all the words with "you" at their root.

While it does need work, I can definitely tell you put effort into it.

Awfully hard to make anything that rhymes seem casual.

I had to look up the word "natter." There is a synonym: "Chatter." Perhaps "natter" is a commonly used word where you are from, but maybe "chatter" will have a broader appeal.

If you are going to take this rhyming pattern, it needs to have a rhythm to it. Say it aloud and see how it sounds. Or better yet, get someone reading it the first time to say it. Try putting the syllables in a uniform count (say, 10) and see how it sounds aloud.
For instance:

Bad Example:
I have just formed his heart from my hands with clay 11
He will fight this day 5

Good Example:
I formed with my hands his heart from clay 9
He will be ready to fight this day 9

Compare the two examples. Uniform syllables go along way to make something sound better. Think about what you can say with less words while still having the message you with to convey. It often makes the message easier to understand.

You might also try avoiding the word "you" (or any word for that matter) frequently unless it is a point of the poem to make sure she realizes it is all her... choice to let other people guide her? I don't think that's why you used "you" so much. Try using other phrases to convey the same meaning, such as line three:

Instincts not yours begin to pull you, 9

The second "you" is needed, but the first could be replaced with another description, possibly something about an outer force, someone else's will, or who knows what else can take the place. Just replace it with something.

I want to thank you for your willingness to improve your skills and take constructive criticism.