Poetic Deaths

[megabyter5]

What do you think would be the most ironic/poetic way for the different OOTS villains to be killed off? I have a few ideas myself, but I want to know what other readers think. No predictions or anything, just opinions.

For instance, Tsukiko being killed by her own undead "children" while Xykon watches, amused. Or for Redcloak (SoD),

Preparing to betray Xykon, but Disintegrated at the last moment by someone he trusted.

So, who else has thoughts on this?

[Scarlet Knight]

Ironic? Ok, how about:

Vaarsuvius: "Ah hahahahah! My power is beyond you fools! Now that I have destoyed Xykon, AND his minions, AND have imprisoned the Order of the Stick for the IFCC's pleasure, I shall take control of the gate and obtain ultimate power!"

Blackwing: "Not so fast! Verily, I am , in truth, a polymorphed black dragon. Revenge!"

Vaarsuvius: ""Wha? Noooooo!"

Blackwing: "Disintegrate...."

[DBJack]

Ironic? Ok, how about:

Vaarsuvius: "Ah hahahahah! My power is beyond you fools! Now that I have destoyed Xykon, AND his minions, AND have imprisoned the Order of the Stick for the IFCC's pleasure, I shall take control of the gate and obtain ultimate power!"

Blackwing: "Not so fast! Verily, I am , in truth, a polymorphed black dragon. Revenge!"

Vaarsuvius: ""Wha? Noooooo!"

Blackwing: "Disintegrate...."

Oh wow. That's amazing! I approve

[ScottishDragon]

Belkar dying by a kobold screaming "I am a sexy shoeless god of war!!"And then the kobold uses belkars head as a hat and uses his body as an ingredient in salsa.
which would never happen because belkar is awesome.

[Warren Dew]

Gobbotopia is secured, and the humans and elves have given up on retaking it.

Redcloak and Xykon are at the last gate. Redcloak could easily secure a bright future for goblinkind by refusing to perform the ritual. Xykon would kill him, but that would only ensure his victory.

But no, the Dark One insists that he go through with the ritual, because he's still annoyed at the other gods. And so Redcloak does, releasing the snarl and destroying the world....

... only to realize, even as he is being unravelled, that this only releases material to finish the new world the other gods have been working on - the world that doesn't include any goblinoids at all.

[Snake-Aes]

Gobbotopia is secured, and the humans and elves have given up on retaking it.

Redcloak and Xykon are at the last gate. Redcloak could easily secure a bright future for goblinkind by refusing to perform the ritual. Xykon would kill him, but that would only ensure his victory.

But no, the Dark One insists that he go through with the ritual, because he's still annoyed at the other gods. And so Redcloak does, releasing the snarl and destroying the world....

... only to realize, even as he is being unravelled, that this only releases material to finish the new world the other gods have been working on - the world that doesn't include any goblinoids at all.

Gobbotopia is not a bastion of hope for the goblinoids on the long run. Gobbotopia or not, the gods still say "they are fodder".
Here we literally have a case that we have to convince the gods themselves to follow with the deal.

[Draconi Redfir]

... only to realize, even as he is being unravelled, that this only releases material to finish the new world the other gods have been working on - the world that doesn't include any goblinoids at all.

this is offically my new D&D version of hell.

[Thant]

Gobbotopia is secured, and the humans and elves have given up on retaking it.

Redcloak and Xykon are at the last gate. Redcloak could easily secure a bright future for goblinkind by refusing to perform the ritual. Xykon would kill him, but that would only ensure his victory.

But no, the Dark One insists that he go through with the ritual, because he's still annoyed at the other gods. And so Redcloak does, releasing the snarl and destroying the world....

... only to realize, even as he is being unravelled, that this only releases material to finish the new world the other gods have been working on - the world that doesn't include any goblinoids at all.

Reminds me much of the fate of Elric of Melniboné...which is sweet, nice one :smallamused:

[licoot]

Belkar dying by a kobold screaming "I am a sexy shoeless god of war!!"And then the kobold uses belkars head as a hat and uses his body as an ingredient in salsa.
which would never happen because belkar is awesome.

AWESOME!:smalltongue:

[Shale]

No, the ultimate irony would be if the kobold made shoes out of him.

[Herald Alberich]

Since Xykon doesn't have any motivations besides being Evil, the most poetic defeat for him would be to be killed by something using strategy and tactics to make up for a lack of raw power. That's probably how it will happen, too, since there's few left that can match him. I only hope he gets a chance to recognize how it was done before he's destroyed.

[CoffeeIncluded]

You know what would be so karmic? If Xykon died whining pathetically.

[Asta Kask]

Edward Cullen kills Tsukiko because she doesn't smell right?

[JonestheSpy]

Since Xykon doesn't have any motivations besides being Evil, the most poetic defeat for him would be to be killed by something using strategy and tactics to make up for a lack of raw power.

Really, that's already happened - i.e. his fight with the ghostly Sapphire Guard. They would have kicked his ass pretty effortlessly if Redcloak hadn't shown up, and still technically won - Team Evil was just saved by luck.

I think it would be both ironic and poetic if he got taken out by someone more powerful who didn't need anybody's help, cause no matter how all that you think you are, there's always someone who's all thatter.

As for Belkar, the most poetic way for him to go is slain by YukYuk, son of YikYik and younger brother of Yokyok.

[veti]

Xykon: kills himself by accident while trying to prove a point to some utterly insignificant first-level peasants.

Belkar: hurls himself at a black dragon that's just slapped Vaarsuvius, and takes a full breath blast aimed at a badly-damaged Hinjo.

Redcloak: good grief, he's such a coward practically any kind of death would count as ironic for him. Hit by a Disintegrate aimed by Vaarsuvius at a badly-damaged Xykon, he rolls a 1 on his saving throw.

[licoot]

Redcloak: good grief, he's such a coward practically any kind of death would count as ironic for him. Hit by a Disintegrate aimed by Vaarsuvius at a badly-damaged Xykon, he rolls a 1 on his saving throw.

Redcloak isn't a coward.

[Herald Alberich]

Really, that's already happened - i.e. his fight with the ghostly Sapphire Guard. They would have kicked his ass pretty effortlessly if Redcloak hadn't shown up, and still technically won - Team Evil was just saved by luck.

But they did beat him down with raw power, his own modus operandi. One Epic ghost-thing paladin plus a roomful of backup overpowered one Epic sorcerer lich.

I'm talking about someone using strategy, which he doesn't care about, to beat him despite a disparity in levels. Xykon's philosophy (SOD):

"Now I see that planning doesn't matter. Strategy doesn't matter. Only two things matter: Force in as great a concentration as you can manage, and style. And in a pinch, style can slide."

For someone to prove him wrong about that would be sweet justice.

[JonestheSpy]

But they did beat him down with raw power, his own modus operandi. One Epic ghost-thing paladin plus a roomful of backup overpowered one Epic sorcerer lich.

I'm talking about someone using strategy, which he doesn't care about, to beat him despite a disparity in levels.

For someone to prove him wrong about that would be sweet justice.

Oh, I totally disagree. Even Soon wasn't nearly as strong as Xykon. The Azurites very strategically sacrificed almost all of the Sapphire Guard, so that's it's members would temporarily take forms that would be immune to most of Xykon's attacks. That's not brute force, that's bloody clever.

And no, Redcloak isn't a coward. He is suppressing all his desires and more and more often his better instincts in service of one goal.

Oh, and it would be most ironic if Elan died when crossing the street by a drunk wagon-driver, as it would be so random and totally untropish.

[ChowGuy]

Oh, and it would be most ironic if Elan died when crossing the street by a drunk wagon-driver, as it would be so random and totally untropish.

But that would not be his fated "happy ending" so to make it right, he has to be killed by Banjo the Clown as part of a comedy puppet show gone wrong.

Also Xykon and Redcloak go down together just as they're about to take control of the last gate, when an IFCC-controlled Vaarsuvius accidentally deflects the Last Ancient Black Dragon's blast at them (thus detroying the phylactery as well)

[ThePhantasm]

Here goes my ideas, somewhat loosely based in theory:


Tsukiko: Will be killed by Redcloak, possibly because he somehow gains control of her undead goblins. In some way, she will be killed by Redcloak.

Redcloak: At some point Redcloak will betray Xykon, but I think he will ultimately be killed not by Xykon but by a paladin. My bet is on O-Chul.

MITD: Will not die.

Xykon: Will die, but will be killed by Roy.

Nale: I don't think Nale or any of the linear guild will be killed. I think they'll end up with life imprisonment. Thog is certainly not going to be killed. If any one of the three were to die, I'd wager it'd be Sabine at the hands of Haley.

[Shale]

I'm hoping somebody other than Roy kills Xykon - maybe another OotSer, maybe Redcloak, maybe the MitD, maybe the Snarl. It would just be a fitting end for Eugene if he could never, ever satisfy his Blood Oath Of Vengeance.

[Herald Alberich]

I'm hoping somebody other than Roy kills Xykon - maybe another OotSer, maybe Redcloak, maybe the MitD, maybe the Snarl. It would just be a fitting end for Eugene if he could never, ever satisfy his Blood Oath Of Vengeance.

Hmm ... in SoD the Oath does specify him or his heirs, but he was perfectly happy to cheer on V (http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0664.html) for taking a crack at it, and quite annoyed at Haley (http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0525.html) when she didn't. So I dunno.

[doodthedud]

Here goes my ideas, somewhat loosely based in theory:


Tsukiko: Will be killed by Redcloak, possibly because he somehow gains control of her undead goblins. In some way, she will be killed by Redcloak.

Redcloak: At some point Redcloak will betray Xykon, but I think he will ultimately be killed not by Xykon but by a paladin. My bet is on O-Chul.

MITD: Will not die.

Xykon: Will die, but will be killed by Roy.

Nale: I don't think Nale or any of the linear guild will be killed. I think they'll end up with life imprisonment. Thog is certainly not going to be killed. If any one of the three were to die, I'd wager it'd be Sabine at the hands of Haley.

Maybe that'd be how she learns which arrow hurt her.

[Yendor]

Hmm ... in SoD the Oath does specify him or his heirs, but he was perfectly happy to cheer on V (http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0664.html) for taking a crack at it, and quite annoyed at Haley (http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0525.html) when she didn't. So I dunno.

So... he posthumously adopts them? :smalltongue:

[Warren Dew]

this is offically my new D&D version of hell.

Because you like goblins, or because you like having them around as XP fodder?


No, the ultimate irony would be if the kobold made shoes out of him.

That would be hilarious!

[factotum]

Gobbotopia is not a bastion of hope for the goblinoids on the long run. Gobbotopia or not, the gods still say "they are fodder".


They were CREATED as fodder. There's nothing to indicate that they can't pull themselves out of that position by their own efforts, especially since they have their own God now.

[Twilightwyrm]

I might say Xykon by a Meteor Swarm spell, but that would be too obvious.

Since Xykon seems to love sacrificing minions, I think it would be rather ironic if he was killed by being sacrificed by his Redcloak and his minions in a ritual to bind the snarl. Yes, I think that would be rather fitting.

[whitelaughter]

Hmm - it's worth noting that Tsukiko's ability to turn is based on her Cleric levels (probably 3) so Redcloak would have no difficulty Rebuking her Wights and ordering them to kill her. (Given her actions, I'm assuming that Tsukiko maintains control via the misnamed Command Undead, which effectively charms them).
Better yet, she turns Durkon into a vampire, and HE takes control of her undead and they all kill her.
Durkon and Tsukiko then unlive happily ever after.

Xykon and V - while duelling over a volcano, V borrows a trick from Mama Dragon and casts Anti-magic shell; they both plunge to a fiery death. Alternately, they fall to the ground and Roy dismantles Xykon.

Redcloak, of course, is going to be eaten by the MitD - that's been obvious ever since SoD. We then learn that MitD doesn't have a vomit reflex, so whenever Xykon reforms, he gets dissolved in the MitD's stomach. The Order of the MitD Guard is promptly formed by Ochul to protect MitD and insure that he remains alive, permanently preventing Xkyon from reforming.

[Agi Hammerthief]

Durkon gone undead might actually comply with a posthum homecomming, while bringing destruction.

[Yendor]

Xykon: Big ol' rock to the face. Er, skull.
Tsukiko: An ill-advised group hug leads to her being drained by Bootsy.
Belkar: Used as a pinata in Lickmyorangeballshalfling's New Year's Eve celebrations.

[Deca]

Edward Cullen kills Tsukiko because she doesn't smell right?

Tsukiko casts Command Undead on him. She doesn't like him because he still looks too alive for her tastes so she sends him off to attack an ancient Red Dragon and get slaughtered. Hilarious.:smallbiggrin:

[megabyter5]

Actually, I think Xykon has to be killed by a blunt object. By Vaarsuvius, after a very long battle in which the most powerful characters attack him one by one, so he uses up all his spell slots. Which means they outsmarted him into being defeated by his own strategy.

Or maybe just eaten by the Snarl. That'd work too.

[talkamancer]

Vaarsuivius by reading some epic exploding runes.

[Asta Kask]

Tsukiko casts Command Undead on him. She doesn't like him because he still looks too alive for her tastes so she sends him off to attack an ancient Red Dragon and get slaughtered. Hilarious.:smallbiggrin:

But hardly a poetic death for Tsukiko.

She could get killed by Cullen during sex.

[Draconi Redfir]

Because you like goblins, or because you like having them around as XP fodder?

cuz i like goblinoids. im a bugbear player, and i read the "Goblins" webcomic.

[Surprise!]

Durkon gone undead might actually comply with a posthum homecomming, while bringing destruction.

An ironic death for Durkon;

Something interesting happens.

[The Extinguisher]

You know what would be so karmic? If Xykon died whining pathetically.

This. Seems only fair.



Redcloak isn't a coward.


Yeah, he really is. Read SoD. Or, even better, read 708 (http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0708.html).

[ChowGuy]

An ironic death for Durkon;

Something interesting happens.

While Thor is on a drunk, Durkon goes out in the storm and gets killed by a falling tree.

[Scarlet Knight]

Redcloak, of course, is going to be eaten by the MitD - that's been obvious ever since SoD. We then learn that MitD doesn't have a vomit reflex, so whenever Xykon reforms, he gets dissolved in the MitD's stomach. The Order of the MitD Guard is promptly formed by Ochul to protect MitD and insure that he remains alive, permanently preventing Xkyon from reforming.

"O-Chul told me, 'This, too, shall pass' " :mitd:

[doodthedud]

cuz i like goblinoids. im a bugbear player, and i read the "Goblins" webcomic.

I played a hobgoblin in a D&D-esque game. Not sure I got it right though, never played PnP.

[ChowGuy]

After an epic 3-way battle with the Order and the Linear Guild Team Evil performs the Gate Ritual. The Dark One manifests himself and promptly orders the remaining goblins to sacrifice them all to his greater power.

Then he challenges O-Chul to single combat and gets tossed into the rift like a rag doll.:smallbiggrin:

[WreckedElf]

Xykon and V - while duelling over a volcano, V borrows a trick from Mama Dragon and casts Anti-magic shell; they both plunge to a fiery death. Alternately, they fall to the ground and Roy dismantles Xykon.

This would be quite epic.



Durkon gone undead might actually comply with a posthum homecomming, while bringing destruction.


This... would be sad for Durkon. Yet is somehow amusing.


And an ironic death idea for Redcloak: Killed by the Dark One, as it turns out the Dark One left out a few important details about what the ritual actually does... Or the Dark One turns out to be more like Xykon in personallity and just decides he doesn't need redcloak anymore when the plan is done.


Tsukiko? How about tries to become a lich... but fails and becomes a non-sentient undead.

[Pyron]

:haley: Trips while in the shower and falls on Crystal's dagger.

:elan: Hears a pun that's so awful it's kills him.

:xykon:
Get defeated by the order at the climax, and Redcloak escapes with the phylactery. After seeing his plans thwarted, he finally reconsiders his goals and finds the courage to destroy Xykon - forever.

[Agi Hammerthief]

could RC have installed some sort of Self Destruct at xykon's creation?

a kind of You Don't Out-Exist Me backdoor

[Silly Wizard]

MitD accidentally steps on Xykon's phylactery

[licoot]

V's ultimate ironic death would be if one of the ABD's distant relatives (very distant relatives) came back for vengeance, but its painfully obvious.

[veti]

MitD accidentally steps on Xykon's phylactery

Redcloak tries to destroy the phylactery and is promptly eaten by MitD. But since MitD has no particular instructions about it, he also digests the phylactery, which oddly enough is not warded against Yog-Sothoth's Stomach Acids.

[talkamancer]

Redcloak tries to destroy the phylactery and is promptly eaten by MitD. But since MitD has no particular instructions about it, he also digests the phylactery, which oddly enough is not warded against Yog-Sothoth's Stomach Acids.

hold on, so MITD is a call of cathulu monster now ?

[Kish]

V's ultimate ironic death would be if one of the ABD's distant relatives (very distant relatives) came back for vengeance, but its painfully obvious.
I don't know about "ultimately ironic," but, it would certainly be ironic if Vaarsuvius was killed by someone who considered the ancient black dragon family despite not being a blood relative of hers, considering the ancient black dragon threatened Vaarsuvius' adopted children.

[shadowkiller]

Redcloak tries to destroy the phylactery and is promptly eaten by MitD. But since MitD has no particular instructions about it, he also digests the phylactery, which oddly enough is not warded against Yog-Sothoth's Stomach Acids.

SoD
Actually the MitD does have instructions to "spit out that gold amulet [Redcloak] wears"

[Yendor]

I don't know about "ultimately ironic," but, it would certainly be ironic if Vaarsuvius was killed by someone who considered the ancient black dragon family despite not being a blood relative of hers, considering the ancient black dragon threatened Vaarsuvius' adopted children.
I know! How about that green dragon girl (http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0628.html) her son was seeing?

[Alex Warlorn]

*SOD SPOILERS!*

Xykon is made mortal again and is killed just before he can have one last cup of coffee. *END SOD SPOILERS!*

[Beowulf DW]

After an epic 3-way battle with the Order and the Linear Guild Team Evil performs the Gate Ritual. The Dark One manifests himself and promptly orders the remaining goblins to sacrifice them all to his greater power.

Then he challenges O-Chul to single combat and gets tossed into the rift like a rag doll.:smallbiggrin:

Then O-Chul ascends to godhood, becoming the patron of badassedness. MitD then becomes his first cleric.

[Optimystik]

Belkar:
dies doing something extremely heroic, possibly to save Mr. Scruffy but inadvertently saving other lives as well. Ends up in Limbo/Sigil, feeling totally cheated.

And one more:
The Dark One

One by one, his children realize that he does not have the goblin people's welfare at heart in the least. they willingly turn their backs on him, robbing him of the devotion that gave him divinity to start.

[veti]

hold on, so MITD is a call of cathulu monster now ?

Okay, first off, Yog-Sothoth is not a monster. He's an abomination/Outer God, which puts him on a footing somewhat more serious than most gods. Maybe comparable to the Snarl.

Second, "Call of Cthulhu" is a game, but the Cthulhu Mythos, and Yog-Sothoth, predate it by several decades. Or millennia, depending how you count. For AD&D, Yog-Sothoth was statted in the 1st edition of Deities & Demigods, between the Chinese and Egyptian mythoi.

Third, of course I have no idea what the MitD is. I just think Y-S fits the clues better than many of the guesses I've seen in the "MitD geekery" thread.

[Snake-Aes]

could RC have installed some sort of Self Destruct at xykon's creation?

a kind of You Don't Out-Exist Me backdoor

This is clarified in SoD
No, there isn't.

[whitelaughter]

"O-Chul told me, "This, too, shall pass' " :mitd:

:O

awesome.

[Zanaril]

SoD
Actually the MitD does have instructions to "spit out that gold amulet [Redcloak] wears"

But what if Reddy takes it off before trying to destroy it?

[Mewtarthio]

Xykon sacrifices so much to live forever that I think any death would be a bit too... expected. No, the most poetic "death" for him would be no death at all, just eternally trapped in a pocket void just outside of the world (say, one he fell into while trying to open the final Gate), unable to interact with anything, unable to die...

[Optimystik]

Xykon sacrifices so much to live forever that I think any death would be a bit too... expected. No, the most poetic "death" for him would be no death at all, just eternally trapped in a pocket void just outside of the world (say, one he fell into while trying to open the final Gate), unable to interact with anything, unable to die...

So, Sealed Evil in A Can? (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/SealedEvilInACan)

[Scarlet Knight]

Roy : "Well, we've defeated Xykon, saved the world, and broke the curse on my father."
Belkar: "And in less than a year since that stupid Oracle said I would snuff it."
Julia: "Belkar, I'm pregnant!"
Belkar: "Wooo! That's why SEXY comes first in sexy, shoeless, god of war!"
Roy: "WHAT?!" *Power attack* !
Durkon: "Och, Ah'm na raysin' him..."

[Calemyr]

I've believed since the moment Tsukiko identified herself as a Theurge that she will be the one who ultimately unleash the Snarl - having both magical disciplines at her disposal. Possibly because she discovers that Xykon is a real jerk, just like living people are. Hell hath no fury like a necrophiliac scorned...

Seriously, think about it. Champion of a dark god? Failed. Supremely overpowered lich? Failed. Azurite girl that is dismissed as a nuisance by friends and enemies alike? Succeeds.

[TVTMaster]

Eh, Rich says (either in W&XPs or DStP) that Tsukiko was introduced to "provide a foil to Redcloak" and "add some feminine energy to the team"- so I find it unlikely that a character that was added in for the purposes of drama and humor is going to flip over the plot. Rich started War and XPs with the larger story already plotted out, so Tsukiko's introduction likely won't lead to major plot-related consequences.