Reminding vs Pestering

[Liriel]

At what point does reminding someone become pestering them?

I asked for a favor (letter of recommendation) and was told they'd get right to it. I have reminded a few times...still nothing. ;-( How many times is too much? It's been almost 2 weeks since last reminder.

[Hazkali]

Who're you asking this favour of? It'd be easier to just to nudge someone who's a friend than someone with whom you have a more formal relationship (a teacher, for example).

If it's been two weeks since you last brought it up, then I'd say that's a fair time to ask them again. I'd try to keep the tone light, and remember that they're doing you a favour, even if it is irritating that you've had to wait for so long.

[Liriel]

Oh, sorry. Yes, it is a professor. The letter is for university studies, so a friend just wouldn't work.

[RandomNPC]

two weeks is a bit of a long time, bring it up, but not as the conversation opener. Maybe second topic change, but probably the third? I don't know, I'm not all that good at things like that, but thats my thoughts anyway.

[rakkoon]

Two weeks is a good waiting period.
Keep it light indeed, something like
"Oh I was reading about this wonderful course, really looking forward to it, have you had the chance to write my letter yet by any chance?"

[Capt Spanner]

Oh, sorry. Yes, it is a professor. The letter is for university studies, so a friend just wouldn't work.

My Uni professors actually encourage us to pester them for things like that, since they're pretty good (by their own admission) at forgetting stuff.

[ClockShock]

My Uni professors actually encourage us to pester them for things like that, since they're pretty good (by their own admission) at forgetting stuff.

Same, if it's important (sounds like this is the case) and has been left ignored, the best thing to do is bring it up and be frank with it.
To be honest it's rude for them to ignore it, especially after casual reminders.

If it were me i would make a point to bring it up right away - rather than leave it as a casual afterthought tacked onto the end of a phoney conversation.
If it's important, treat it as such.

[Liriel]

Thanks. I thought it was long enough time too, but really wanted a 2nd (3rd, 4th...) opinion. I really don't want it to come off as pestering her, but I really want it in soon. :smallannoyed: Also, I'm not currently in class with her, so it isn't easy to just drop it into a convo without making an office appointment.

[Hazkali]

Do you have her Uni email address? That way, you could remind her and at the same time ask for a date to pick the letter up, thereby making it a priority as opposed to something that can be put off?

[SDF]

Some professors are REALLY absent minded, rarely check mail, ect. Stress it's importance and try to do it in person if you can.

[Liriel]

I gave her an envelope to mail it off in herself - we aren't supposed to see our own letters.

However, I do have her email. That is how I last reminded her. She's excellent at checking and replying to email.

[snoopy13a]

You also may want to start considering a back-up letter writer in case the person never gets around to doing it. I've been in this situation before and it isn't fun as you have your applications waiting on someone else.

[Liriel]

I've begun contemplating getting a back up. She's the last bit of the application I'm waiting on.



Edit: Figures it'd work out like this. I mention it to her and she said she'd sent it already, but she has a copy of it, so she'll resend in case it got lost or something. Here's hoping the Uni gets it shortly.

Thanks again, everyone.