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Hal
2010-04-01, 09:23 AM
Okay, I want these to be real.

http://www.wizards.com/DND/Article.aspx?x=dnd/4dnd/quotepowers

This needs to be official material.

So . . . what powers would you add?

Blackfang108
2010-04-01, 09:54 AM
... And I'm all out of bubblegum.

They Live Utility

Trigger: you surprise the enemy. You may not have any consumable items on your person. (this includes extra-dimensional storage spaces carried by you.)

Effect: Gain +5 to damage for the encounter, scaling to +9 at 11, and then +13 at epic.

I LOVE that movie.:smallbiggrin:

Reynard
2010-04-01, 09:55 AM
Daily: Yippie-ki-yay, mother***er! Fighter Attack 13
Yippie-ki-yay, mother***er!
Daily ✦ Martial, Item.
Standard Action. Item Burst 5 within Ranged 50
Requirement: You must be holding any Alchemical Item that deals fire damage.
Target: Every object and creature in burst.
Attack: Strength and Constitution vs Reflex-5
Hit: The target takes 3d6 fire damage, +1d6 for every level of the Alchemical item, in addition to the effects of the item on it's own. A Level 1 Alchemist's Fire would deal 6d6 fire damage, for example, while a Level 8 Dragonfire Tar would deal 11d6 fire damage and ongoing 5 fire damage. The item is consumed by this attack.
Miss: Half damage, and the item is consumed.

DiscipleofBob
2010-04-01, 10:06 AM
This is my Boomstick

Alright you Primitive Screwheads, listen up! You see this? This... is my boomstick! The twelve-gauge double-barreled Remington. S-Mart's top of the line. You can find this in the sporting goods department. That's right, this sweet baby was made in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Retails for about a hundred and nine, ninety five. It's got a walnut stock, cobalt blue steel, and a hair trigger. That's right. Shop smart. Shop S-Mart. You got that?

Daily Martial, Fear, Ranged, Weapon
Standard Action Close Burst 5
Requirement: You must be wielding a gun (even though rules for a gun haven't been made yet), you must be trained in Intimidate, and your character must be played by Bruce Campbell
Target: One creature in burst.
Attack: Dexterity vs. Reflex
Damage: 3[W] + your Dexterity modifier + your Charisma modifier damage, and you can make a secondary attack against all other creatures in burst.
Secondary Attack: Charisma + 5 vs. Will
Secondary Damage: 2[W] + Charisma modifier awesome damage, and the targets are dazed and unable to attack you until the end of your next turn.

Reynard
2010-04-01, 10:32 AM
Let's do the Time Warp again! Bard Attack 1
It's just a jump to the left
And then a step to the right
With your hands on your hips
You bring your knees in tight
But it's the pelvic thrust that really drives you insane,
Let's do the Time Warp again!
At Will ✦ Arcane, Implement, Charm, Fear
Standard Action. Close burst 2
Target: Each creature in burst
Attack: Charisma vs. will
Effect: Before the attack, shift one space as a free action.
Hit:Charisma modifier damage, and every creature shifts one space in the direction you did. All creatures, including you and all Allies, are dazed until the the end of your next turn. You must use this attack again next turn, or fall prone.
Miss:You must use this attack again next turn, or fall prone.

Akal Saris
2010-04-01, 12:00 PM
Communism was just a red herring!
Butler/Bard Encounter 3 ✦ Arcane, Implement, Charm
Immediate interrupt Action.
Target: Attacking creature
Attack: Charisma vs. will
Hit: Target attacking creature must choose a new legal target for his attack. It cannot be the creature he was previously attacking.

(Hah! 2 Tim Curry movies in a row!)

Nidogg
2010-04-01, 12:15 PM
Time to face Gravity! Ranger 7(cos we all know Bond's a ranger)
Encounter Weapon Martial Reliable Electricity
Time to face destiny Bond...
Attack Strength+2 vs reflex
Special, target must be within 5 squares of a vertical drop.
3W damage and the target falls over the edge but hangs on. Make a secondary attack.
Strength vs AC
The target falls taking 10 electricity damage and gets sucked into any passing jet fans.

Kurald Galain
2010-04-01, 12:20 PM
Wow. I said this last year and I'll say it again. WOTC is really, really bad at making jokes.

Blackfang108
2010-04-01, 12:33 PM
Wow. I said this last year and I'll say it again. WOTC is really, really bad at making jokes.

It doesn't help that they say it is an april fools jok in the first paragraph of the article.

hamishspence
2010-04-01, 12:38 PM
This is my Boomstick

I once wondered what the quote would be for the Harry Potter setting.

Maybe Harry Potter & the Army of Darkness: "This is my BROOMstick!"

tcrudisi
2010-04-01, 01:31 PM
Wow. I said this last year and I'll say it again. WOTC is really, really bad at making jokes.

Was last years the Witchalok? Because I LOVED that article.

Beleriphon
2010-04-01, 04:11 PM
Was last years the Witchalok? Because I LOVED that article.

It was. And it was awesomely hilarious.

Zocelot
2010-04-01, 09:35 PM
I still have the "4E character sheet" from 2 years ago saved on my computer. This year is much worse than that or the Witchalok.

Tiki Snakes
2010-04-01, 11:12 PM
Well, hey. If the movie powers don't tickle your fancy, I understand they have a newly announced product coming along sometime soon, too.

Linky. (http://www.wizards.com/DnD/Article.aspx?x=dnd/4news/20100401b)

Kurald Galain
2010-04-02, 02:31 AM
Was last years the Witchalok? Because I LOVED that article.
That one was okay, but they also had another article which so-called rules changes that try to use popular memes, e.g. let the Magic Missile wizard at-will target "the darkness". Sure, you could make something funny out of that, but the way they wrote it was just bland.


Well, hey. If the movie powers don't tickle your fancy, I understand they have a newly announced product coming along sometime soon, too.
Same thing: it's an attempt at satire that just fails, imho. Good concept, poor execution. I'm sure their forums have some people who are just better at sarcasm :P

tcrudisi
2010-04-02, 04:12 AM
I still have the "4E character sheet" from 2 years ago saved on my computer. This year is much worse than that or the Witchalok.

I don't remember the 4e character sheet and I would really like to see it. Can you either: 1) upload it to a file storing website and give me the link? 2) give me enough search terms that I could find it on my own via google (since 4e char sheet will bring up a lot of hits...)

Colmarr
2010-04-02, 04:43 AM
I don't remember the 4e character sheet and I would really like to see it.

Here you go (http://www.wizards.com/default.asp?x=dnd/4dnd/20080401b).

"4e april fools character sheet" did the trick...

Blackfang108
2010-04-02, 08:54 AM
Same thing: it's an attempt at satire that just fails, imho. Good concept, poor execution. I'm sure their forums have some people who are just better at sarcasm :P

I liked that one, myself.

especially when someone brought it into a thread saying "there is no pr in 4e" (hey... I just noticed that that rhymes.). the reaction was priceless.

Tiki Snakes
2010-04-02, 09:50 AM
Here you go (http://www.wizards.com/default.asp?x=dnd/4dnd/20080401b).

"4e april fools character sheet" did the trick...

That's pretty awesome, actually.