What is proper etiquette when staying at someone's home?

[Pika...]

Nervous as hell. Flying to Philly to stay with/help a couple. I will be there for two weeks, and am only just packing my bags with what I think I need.

However, I am extremely nervous as I am not sure what proper etiquette is when staying at someone's home.

Should I offer to pay for my meals? Should I be expecting to be eating with them? Should I ask permission to bathe in their bathroom and such?

Seems silly, but I never stayed over anywhere as a kid.

[Killer Angel]

Don't worry: for practical things (bathroom, etc) and house-rules, they'll tell you all when you arrive.
For other things (even for offering a money-help for food, if you feel there's a reason to do it), ask nicely and it'll be OK.

Edit: regarding food: once in a while, offer some pizza, and probably you'll be fine.

[Ichneumon]

It really depends, but if they're friends or if the reasons for going there are informal, as in: they didn't hire you to do some work, but you know them personally and they invited you over.... then I think it is normally the case that you just eat with the family and thus, they pay for your meals. You are a guest after all. They should provide for you and tell you where to bath and sleep.

[Caewil]

Don't offer to pay for your meal unless you know them well; it insults their hospitality. If you want to be nice, offer to pay for an entire meal as a gift for them.

Presenting it as you doing something nice for them rather than as payment for their services or defraying their costs is the important thing.

[bibliophile]

Help with the dishes.

[drakir_nosslin]

Just be nice, ask if you can help with anything, that's good manners and if they are the kind who thinks that guests should just sit and do nothing, they'll just say that it's fine. Otherwise, you get to help out, which I find far more comforting as a visitor.

Since you'll be there for a while, offer to go shopping some day, that should solve the whole 'pay for food' stuff. You don't try to pay if you're a guest, that's kind of insulting, at least where I'm from.

You'll definitely eat together, that's part of the 'guest' thing, but don't worry, just ask if you're wondering anything, you've never been there before, so it's not strange if they have habits that are new to you. A good thing is to tell them before you arrive if you are allergic to anything.

[RandomNPC]

I've actually approaced people with simmilar situations, here's my general opener.

I'm sorry to ask, but I've never been in this kind of a situation before, and I was wondering, *a few well worded polite inquires*

It's not really the best bet as far as politeness, hence the "sorry to ask" and "well worded polite inquires" but it lets them know that you've got no idea and there's a posssibility you may not be on your best game.

Going by what your other recent post is about, that's how i'd do it, but again, probably not the best option. Also, I still look a bit younger than I am, and I'm young to begin with, so I think that helps me get away with it when I do have to use that.

[Hazkali]

So long as you mind your manners, you should be okay, and if there's anything that you're unsure of, ask.

I agree with those saying you shouldn't offer to pay for your meals- if you're there as a guest, then you're a guest. I'd certainly consider giving them a card and gift (something that can be shared, like a tin of chocolates) as a thank-you, as an alternative to a full meal out (especially if your finances don't stretch that far).

[Sliver]

Hmm.. Could this help? (http://www.wikihow.com/Be-a-Good-House-Guest) :smalltongue: