Vacation in the middle east! (town plot)

[Durp]

The speeder pulls up to an airstrip with a completely normal plane on it. Weird.

[Beans]

... Huh.
Blink blink.

[Durp]

Chris gets out of the car, and a bunch of normal people walk into the plane. He raises an eyebrow.
Redna?
We needed some cash, so we started a transportation business.
... Neat.

[Beans]

The gals get in.
And all settle into the Gendo pose simultaneously.

[Durp]

Chris gets in, too, along with Bio, who both sigh. A suitcase falls on Chris' head.
Ack!

[Beans]

Thryza shoves the case back where it was.

Chol starts watching End of Evangelion on a laptop.
Shinji, she won't wake up. She's in a coma.
Oh, ew, Shinji, what the hell? That better be Elmer's glue, man!

[Durp]

Oh, to be young and naive. It's obviously shaving cream.
The plane starts.

[Beans]

... Huh.
I've never been on a plane, so I have no idea what it's like.

[Durp]

Seriously? huh.
Seats line a large isle, with luggage stacked on shelves above said seats. the isle continues up until it hits a large door, going to the cockpit.

[Beans]

Fun.
Thal begins to sleeeeeep.
Neiz looks at the other passengers.
Chol watches Asuka kick butts.

[Durp]

Suddenly, a man stands up, holding a gun.
EVERYBODY GET ON THE GROUND! THIS IS A HIJACKING!

[Beans]

Deadtiem very soon or now.
They do indeed get on the ground...
And Thryza does indeed prepare a glob of nasty stuff in her hand.

[Durp]

Me too.
Chris sighs, and sits on the floor. He doesn't seem very worried.

[Beans]

Thryza flicks the stuff up at the guy's face.
Don't you just love paralytic poisons?

[Durp]

It catches him in the eye, he stiffens, and falls on his ass.
Well, that was fun.

[Beans]

Thryza takes the guy's gun.
Should I unload the clip and flush all the bullets into the plane's lavatory tank?
No danger of him getting them back then.

[Durp]

No need. Security!
A few soldiers come out, and dump the guy in the septic tank. They keep the gun.
You have to wonder where they were when we were getting hijacked.

[Beans]

On spring break, of course.
She stretches and yawns.

[Durp]

He heads up to the cockpit, and comes back.
Looks like we got 3 hours.

[Beans]

What do we do with three hours, then?
Chol's watchin' stuff, Thal's asleep, and Neiz is daydreaming.

[Durp]

What can we do?
Suddenly, the plane rocks to the side violently.
uhh, ladies and gentlemen, we seem to have hit some, er... turbulence. Yeah, that...
The plane shakes again, and Chris looks out the window.
What the hell?!

[Beans]

She looks out the window with him.

[Durp]

There would appear to be a gigantic, pterodactyl-like creature flying towards the plane, ridden by a silhouetted figure.
You're kidding me.

[Beans]

Fffffffffffffffffffffffff---
Thryza grits her teeth.

[Durp]

Wake the kids up, this isn't good.
He's good at stating the obvious. He pulls out his chainsword, and taps Bio. She looks out of the window, and screams. Kinda unlike her.

[Beans]

Chol growls, Neiz whimpers, and Thal swallows.
Ah, hell...

[Durp]

Everyone hold hands.
Chris grabs Bio, and she tries to grab Thy. The Dino-thingy starts to pick up speed.

[Beans]

Hand-hold happens.
Thryza sighs.
I hate being attacked by Nazgul.

[Durp]

Ba dum tish!
The thing crashes into the plane, and it's ripped in half, as Chris lodges his chainsword into the beast. IT snarls, and he holds onto it, as the plane does a nosedive. The Wogals make a little chain in the sky.
OW.

[Beans]

GAH CRIKEY BOLLOCKS.

[Durp]

He starts to swing the little chain, and sorta launches them onto the thing's back. While everyone else is on board, he still dangles. The rider looks behind his shoulder, and sees them. He is not amused.

[Beans]

They all cling tightly; Thryza tries to get a hold of Chris.

[Durp]

As she tries, the Rider lunges at her, a large knife in hand.

[Beans]

She swings her wrist-blade up to block it.
GO BACK TO MINAS MORGUL, YOU DRAGON-RIDING DEMENTOR COSPLAYER.

[Durp]

He actually looks more like one of the elephant riders. With the war paint and such. He draws his knife back and strikes again, aiming for the face.

[Beans]

She blocks and counterattacks.
YOUR MOTHER.

[Durp]

It narrowly misses him, as he twists to the side. Chris manages to get his leg up over the side of the beast, and climb on. His Chainsword whirrs and clicks.

[Beans]

Thryza swings again.
OH LOOK A DUCK.

[Durp]

He raises an eyebrow.
M'keth si tontha zerk?
Impossible to tell what he's saying, but he's speaking Wogalian. He ducks, and throws his knife at her, pulling a weird gun.

[Beans]

... WHY THE HELL DID I NEVER LEARN WOGALIAN?!
WHO ARE YOU ANYWAY?!
IF YOU'RE WORKING FOR MY FATHER-IN-LAW, YOU SO OWE ME A DR. PEPPER.
She blocks the knifey.

[Durp]

He fires at her. He's apparently just as confused about english as she is about Wogalian.

[Beans]

She ducks and grunts in pain as it scores across her shoulder.
She tries to knock the gun from his hand.
Zhprech tzu Iqhh?
(Do you speak Iquaquan?)

[Durp]

... Blurk?
Apparently not. The gun is knocked from his hand, and he throws a punch.

[Beans]

She is punched and punches back with her metal hand.
TRY SIGN LANGUAGE.
THIS IS HOW I SAY SCREW YOU.

[Durp]

It smacks him in the jaw, and he stumbles back.
TCIHB!!!
He pulls off a glove, and apparently has a very bio-engineered hand. IT has three clawed fingers, and seems to glow blue. He tries to claw her up.

[Beans]

She gets clawed across the upper back and cries out in pain.

Thal draws her little two-shot pistol and takes aim at the jerk.

[Durp]

He's grazed in the shoulder. This guy is actually pretty good. He rushes for thal, but is tackled by Chris. Chris slugs him in the nose, but is thrown off. The guy dives for him.
(( Ten minute deadtime. ))

[Beans]

Thryza screams and desperately tries to grab Chris.

[Durp]

He's grabbed. The other guy is not. He falls, screaming to his doom.
Thanks, hun.
He clambers up.

[Beans]

She smiles, wincing at the pain in her back and shoulder.
So---ahr---how do we land this thing?

[Durp]

I have an idea.
He pulls out his death ray and puts it to the back of the thing's head.
Down. Now.
They start to descend.

[Beans]

Heheh... woo.
You okay, mom?
Yes.
Ow.
Liar.

[Durp]

They reach the ground, and the thing plops into the sand. Chris falls off.
Whee! OW.

[Beans]

Thry rolls off, leaving a red streak on the sand.
The kids look around them.

[Durp]

It's a desert. They appear to be around a quarter mile from a pretty big town. Chris walks over to Thy, and checks on her back.
Ah, crap.
He takes out a cell reorganizer and starts to work on the big ol' slash on her back.

[Beans]

She takes off her jacket and tank top to show three things: a totally-average brassiere, the slashes on her back, and the wound on her shoulder.

[Durp]

Hold still, hun.
The thing works quickly, neutralizing the pain, and sealing the cut at the same time. After a few minutes, the wounds are scarred over.
Oookay. Just try not to f[ra]k it up again, and don't do too much heavy lifting.
He gives her a kiss.
Alright, let's head.

[Beans]

Thry re-dons her top and jacket; she reaches for Chris's hand as they set off.

[Durp]

Hand is grabbed. They set off to the town. It hustles and bustles with brown skinned people, and rather odd creatures. One looks like a skinless oxen, but around six feet taller, and with sharp teeth. Street vendors sell strange fruits, clothing, and other things. Chris takes out a camera.
Neat!

[Beans]

Neiz snaps pics as well.
Thal looks a bit more cautious.

[Durp]

They seem to be in some kind of market. Suddenly, a small boy bustles past them, along with a rather large man. The kid is caught by the neck, and his hand is laid on a stump. The Man pulls out a machete.

[Beans]

BRB, savin' Aladdin.
Thryza's blade extends and rather rudely gets in the way of the 'chete.

[Durp]

The man looks at her, and withdraws the machete, still holding the kid's wrist. He pulls back the kid's sleeve, pointing to a clawed hand, much like the guy's that you killed.
Dou wrnt tsih?!
He's speaking Wogalian. Chris steps up.
Bsk huff, gjrak.
He lets the kid go, and he walks off. the kid remains, around 14.

[Beans]

Ikh zhprekher nauch Voekler.
Zhprech tzu Iqhh?
(I don't speak Wogalian. Do you speak Iquaquan?)
She tries Iquaquan again, not expecting it to work.

[Durp]

No dice.
Thank you for your help.

[Beans]

... Welcome.
Er, what's that claw-doodad you've got there?
The gals all peer at the kid.
Another claw.
He's cute.
Age gap of three years, Neiz.
Hey, shut up.
Hush, you two.

[Durp]

Born with it. in a few years it'll be my whole arm, then my chest, then the rest of me. They call us "Touched by the infection".
Still think he's cute?

[Beans]

Neiz does a little DO NOT WANT face.
... Ah.
I see.
Dedtiem, hopefully brief, for 'tater peelin'.

[Durp]

They keep us in a little zone off to the east. Can you take me there? I've lost my way.

[Beans]

Thryza glances at Chris before answering.

[Durp]

He nods.
Go ahead.

[Beans]

She nods and heads east with the kid.

[Durp]

They eventually reach a large barbed wire fence. He crawls under it, and beckons for them to follow.

[Beans]

They follow cautiously.

[Durp]

They pop through a fence, into a slum. there are many more children like the boy they met, along with grown men and women completely infected.

[Beans]

... Ah.
Thryza blinks once.

[Durp]

Yes... It started from one infection, when someone drank polluted water. then it just continued, until now...

[Beans]

... Polluted water?
Any idea what the pollutant was?

[Durp]

He looks over at Chris.
Oh, f[or]k you, I had to!

[Beans]

Had to what, Chris?

[Durp]

Alright, i can explain.
Explain what?!
Okay... So this is a S.P.I.R.E colony, as you might assume. and when Dad left me S.P.I.R.E, he left me with everything it came with... The bills, the arms manufacturing... And the pollutants. We had to put it somewhere, and when we put into space, we got yelled at by- ... I'll explain that later. So, we had to dump it on earth. This was the only place we could dump legally, without polluting the earth as a whole. This was the only way.

[Beans]

Oh, god dammot.
... This is the part where you tell me you can do something to help these people.

[Durp]

Ummm... Well...
We're listening.
Look, i don't know how! This is volatile stuff! I... I...

[Beans]

Thryza pulls out the absolutely most feared weapons a wife has:
The Pursing of the Lips.
The Folding of the Arms.
The Tapping of the Feets.

Antidote?
Beneficient mutagen?
Toxin neutralizer?
Explanation for why you didn't tell me ANY of this EVER before?

[Durp]

Look, this stuff is irreversible. I can't help these people, all i can do is pull this stuff out and put it somewhere else!

[Beans]

Thryza settles into the Gendo pose.
4chan's servers.
... What?
Wut?
Oh, ok.

[Durp]

Look, i'm serious here. I can't put it anywhere else!

[Beans]

... So what the hell are we doing here?

[Durp]

I dunno about this little f[ra]k, i was here to find out about this!
He pulls out the coin he had earlier. The kid's eyes widen, and he drops to the floor in a bow.
Oh, now what?!

[Beans]

Great, now you're king again or something.

[Durp]

Hell if i know!
He kneels down to the kid.
Hey! Aladdin! What is this thing?!
The kid suddenly looks up and snatches it, starting to run.
... Do i even care anymore?

[Beans]

Try not to summon any Elder Gods, Aladdin!
Ia ia Cthulu fthagn!

... What now?

[Durp]

... I dunno. You wanna follow him?

[Beans]

He wouldn't have run off if we weren't supposed to follow him.
... I still don't know if we should, though.

[Durp]

How 'bout this: We stray from the flock, and just walk away. Go dead alive. How 'bout it?
(( Crap, gotta deadtime. ))

[Beans]

She nods.
We're outta here.

[Durp]

Big red button. BEEP!

[Beans]

Over'd, I suppose?

[Durp]

Essentially.