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View Full Version : The Hilarious Random Adventures of Lord Verily Hunt Lemming XII, or Let's Play SWAT 4



Amiel
2010-04-06, 08:47 PM
"Do I have an anger management problem? Well, let's be frank, anger expedites the healing process. Plus, it's an excellent teaching and learning tool. As the ages-old wisdom thoughtfully states, give a man a fire and he will be warm for the night, however, light the man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

I solemnly live by that profound philosophy. I teach by example, I train only those who can be trained. And then I start using the tasers to introduce a little variety into the situation.

It separates the men from the boys, the wheat from the chaff. In that yawning abyss of electricity, only the devoted, the ambitious, the talented succeed.
And then I fire beanbags at them. It keeps them guessing, you see.
Whatever reason is there to do that? Possibly none, but it's funny. And everyone needs to have more laughter in their lives.

Father decided I was spending too much in the drink, too much time slagging it up. Son, you need a proper education, he would say. Son, how about you manage our local constabulary? That proceeded marvelously. Then I had the misfortune to implicate another member of the aristocracy of wanton and lascivious embezzlement. Admittedly, it turns out I was doing it, but hey, you can't turn away a patsy and scapegoat if it's staring at you right in the eye.

I made a pretty penny, and all of it in offshore accounts for a rainy day, and the old goat is at the vets. Oh well, one must do with what one has.

Now, I'm across the pond, teaching these Americans the true art of policing with violence for maximum efficiency.

As befitting my stature and my status as a member of the landed nobility, I have been given the honour or drudgery, however you look at it, of managing a team of SWAT.

Being the overgrown flies they are, this has presented me with challenges, rewards and hilarity, as it should. I will document my progress.

Also, in America, I seem to be able to do magic."

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v512/Ash_Mantle/lolwhut.jpg

All of the above should be spoken with received pronunciation, a curled lip, and a handlebar mustache.

Fri
2010-04-06, 08:56 PM
Yes, yes, a thousand of time YESS!

Amiel
2010-04-06, 09:24 PM
:biggrin:

/high fives!

Fri
2010-04-07, 12:06 AM
Will this be a video LP or screenshot LP?

Will we get a chance to choose your squad's outfit? I'm looking forward for a squad of swat team armed with nothing but pepper spray and tazer... that's used freely to anything that moved.

...Nah. Even a regular swat team with normal equipment is a goldmine of hillarious antics. Either way, I'm looking forward for it.

Juhn
2010-04-08, 09:50 PM
Would it be out of line for me to demand a running tally of how many times you hear the words "You're in my way, sir"?

Amiel
2010-04-10, 06:51 AM
Will this be a video LP or screenshot LP?

Will we get a chance to choose your squad's outfit? I'm looking forward for a squad of swat team armed with nothing but pepper spray and tazer... that's used freely to anything that moved.

...Nah. Even a regular swat team with normal equipment is a goldmine of hillarious antics. Either way, I'm looking forward for it.

It shall be a screenshot LP, my good sir.
Of which you esteemed playgrounders shall outfit Lord Verily's team, including picking out the mission order that he completes the campaign; I'll then try to tie it all together in and with a narrative arc, with some random banter thrown in for good measure for added hilarity.

And don't you worry about dangerous objects that are applied freely to anything that moves, it's the motto of this SWAT team and the holy words that Lord Verily lives by; and fixates upon. All in the team have an itchy trigger finger.

And thanks! It shall be a joy to produce and write, I hope :)

My only askance is to apply violence upon any offenders with utter and belligerent force :smalltongue:


Would it be out of line for me to demand a running tally of how many times you hear the words "You're in my way, sir"?

Hah! Definitely not. You know, I really wish this game includes batons. That way, each time any of those damned lemmings who utter that line get a swift and violent strike to the nogging.

Amiel
2010-04-10, 06:54 AM
Or cattle prods. This game really needs cattle prods. Everything is better with cattle prods.


These are the missions

Food Wall Restaurant
Fairfax Residence
Qwik Fuel Convenience Store
A-Bomb Nightclub
Victory Imports Auto Center
Red Library Offices
Northside Vending and Amusements
DuPlessis Wholesale Diamond Center
Children of Taronne Tenement
St. Michaels Medical Center
The Wolcott Projects
Old Granite Hotel
Mt. Threshold Research Center

Please advise which order they should be completed in, thanks!

Fri
2010-04-10, 11:09 PM
I forgot about the difficulties, but you should play them from the simplest to the hardest. To see a ragtag bunch of misfits turned into a highly efficient trained twitchy paranoid cattle prodder....

chiasaur11
2010-04-10, 11:13 PM
As for the cast?

You need at least one by-the-book guy.

His life will be the worst. By far.

Amiel
2010-04-11, 06:38 AM
I forgot about the difficulties, but you should play them from the simplest to the hardest. To see a ragtag bunch of misfits turned into a highly efficient trained twitchy paranoid cattle prodder....

Oh, the difficulties are actually by slider rather than mission. Or do you mean play them in order and then adjust the difficulty as Lord Verily progresses through the campaign?

IIRC, there's Easy, Normal and Hard.
Easy means you can progress through the mission with an 0; although you must still successfully complete the mission, in other words, if you die, you fail. A harsh but simple logic.
Normal demands a score of 50/100, this means violent antics have to be kept at a minimum.
Hard means that nonlethal takedown methods are condoned and supported, as you need a score of 75/100 to progress; violence is definitely frowned upon :(


As for the cast?

You need at least one by-the-book guy.

His life will be the worst. By far.

Done, so very done. Very much so.

Mordokai
2010-04-11, 07:42 AM
I'm so looking forward to this :smallbiggrin:

And my vote goes to starting with Fairfax Residence. Should be potentional for some fun stuff there.

A little off the tangent... does anybody still play SWAT 4 in multiplayer? I used to enjoy this game greatly and played it online nonstop, when it came out, but it's been a long time since. If there are any players left, I might start the disks up again and give in another shot.

Fri
2010-04-11, 08:27 AM
Oh, the difficulties are actually by slider rather than mission. Or do you mean play them in order and then adjust the difficulty as Lord Verily progresses through the campaign?

IIRC, there's Easy, Normal and Hard.
Easy means you can progress through the mission with an 0; although you must still successfully complete the mission, in other words, if you die, you fail. A harsh but simple logic.
Normal demands a score of 50/100, this means violent antics have to be kept at a minimum.
Hard means that nonlethal takedown methods are condoned and supported, as you need a score of 75/100 to progress; violence is definitely frowned upon :(



I was talking abvout the mission difficulty... as I said, you should go from the simplest mission to the most complex mission. about the difficulty, I guess it's up to you/whichever the most fun.

ZeroNumerous
2010-04-11, 08:31 AM
@Difficulty: Pick Easy. Shoot all hostages.