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CTLC
2010-04-09, 07:35 PM
So im making gaara. It is a swordsage 1/ cloistered cleric 1 dark human. The whole sand part was made into a new discipline, Malleable Sand.
level 1 stuff in spoiler.
Maneuvers, Stances, Boosts, and Counters by Level:
Level 1:
Sand Control - Stance - You cannot use malleable sand maneuvers when not in this stance, unless noted otherwise in the entry. Also you gain control over a certain amount of sand:
Sand controlable total:
10 cu ft +1 per character level

Weight carryable:
each lb of sand can support 1 lb of not sand aswell as itself, but only if that amount of sand isnt being used. For example: if carrying only 500 pounds of sand [out of 1k lbs] i can carry 500 pounds of stuff with that sand.

Amount movable:
1 cu ft + 2 per CL maximum equal to the max amount controlable. [in a full round, half it for standard, stop dreaming for move]

Movement Speed:
1 in/full round for full amount caryable + full amount caryable by the sand. Half the weight, double the speed.

Range:
30 feet for full weight, 100 ft for a small handful [1lb]

Saves:
All sand based effects have a save DC = 10+wis mod+ level of the highest malleable sand maneuver known. Reflex to avoid, and Fortitude to remove.
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Shield Of Sand - Counter - As an immediate action gain DR equal to your wis mod/--
Sand Shuriken - Strike - Creates 1 +1/5 levels shuriken which deal 1d4+wis mod damage on a ranged attack as a standard action. The range limit is 60'.
Sand Strike - Strike - Add 1d6+wis mod damage to any attack and choose which type of damage is dealt [bludge, pierce, slash]. Standard action.

I am looking for help making this complete and balanced at a tier 2-3 level. Right now, twas playtested before saves were added, if i was hidden and there was only one enemy who didnt notice me i could kill him with a block of sand around his head...

so i need help, the goal is to make a slightly stronger than most disciplines array with atleast some relation to gaara the character.

Eldan
2010-04-10, 04:47 AM
As an alternative, though it's probably not what you are looking for, there's the sand shaper prestige class in Sandstorm. That's for casters, though.

Now, for your rules:
First of all, the required stance is very restrictive, I think, limiting the character a lot. Of course, if the maneuvers are strong, you are trading flexibility for strength, which I guess is fair. Have you thought about making this a prestige class instead? Because so far, this only has three maneuvers, which really isn't a lot, and about as much as a PrC would get. Alternatively, a lot could be replicated by just reflavouring existing maneuvers.

All your maneuvers should have levels.

Sand shield: why temporary HP? Giving (natural) armour and/or Damage Reduction seems to make more sense to me.
The shuriken: you should define range, and if they all target the same creature. One could assume that this is as standard shuriken, but then, those only deal one damage.
Toughness of Sand: why toughness? Something like "sand strike" sounds better to me.

Now, while your maneuvers sound like the stuff Gaara does, they really don't say "sand" to me. So far, the discipline has nothing that stands out as special: it's just damage strikes, which pretty much every other discipline out there has as well.

Finally, your moving sand needs more rules... what happens if someone is standing on sand which starts to move? Balance checks? How much damage does it deal when players drop it on someone? If you just let the players move sand, they will come up with tricks like that and you should have rules prepared.

CTLC
2010-04-10, 09:31 AM
'First of all, thank you so much for posting!

As an alternative, though it's probably not what you are looking for, there's the sand shaper prestige class in Sandstorm. That's for casters, though.
Nah, it has nothing to do with shaping sand and a lot to do with adding wizard spells.


Now, for your rules:
First of all, the required stance is very restrictive, I think, limiting the character a lot. Of course, if the maneuvers are strong, you are trading flexibility for strength, which I guess is fair. Have you thought about making this a prestige class instead? Because so far, this only has three maneuvers, which really isn't a lot, and about as much as a PrC would get. Alternatively, a lot could be replicated by just reflavouring existing maneuvers.

The required stance now says that you cannot use maneuvers greater than half the level of your highest level maneuver from malleable sand without being in the stance. Similarly to gaara, who can control some sand on his own, and do a few blocks, but needs to use his hands to go all out.


All your maneuvers should have levels.

They are all level one, ive only had time to write level one so far.


Sand shield: why temporary HP? Giving (natural) armour and/or Damage Reduction seems to make more sense to me.
The shuriken: you should define range, and if they all target the same creature. One could assume that this is as standard shuriken, but then, those only deal one damage.
Toughness of Sand: why toughness? Something like "sand strike" sounds better to me.
Sand shield has been changed to DR, but they all make some sense considering gaara's sand armor. The shuriken is meant to be a basic ranged attack, nothing more, range added. Toughness of sand is now sand strike, also note that it can be added to a thrown shuriken. Or dagger because shuriken suck.


Now, while your maneuvers sound like the stuff Gaara does, they really don't say "sand" to me. So far, the discipline has nothing that stands out as special: it's just damage strikes, which pretty much every other discipline out there has as well.
Yeah, but i like having the flavor, and later there will be some of gaaras moves, he is quite strong though. For example, a 7th level maneuver might cause sand to form a force cage effect [although toned down] and the 9th level maneuver may require the 7th level move to be active, and then cause an implosion effect.


Finally, your moving sand needs more rules... what happens if someone is standing on sand which starts to move? Balance checks? How much damage does it deal when players drop it on someone? If you just let the players move sand, they will come up with tricks like that and you should have rules prepared.
I am the player using this actually, and the DM's answers are: I can support them or drop them as I want, dropping it on enemies does cause damage, but I neither know how much, and i cannot do it often [I did it because I was at a higher elevation than the enemies, otherwise its much too hard]. I really want the sand control ability to be quite useful, but things like gaaras sand shield, sand armor, giant sand spikes, and desert coffin are all maneuvers in my mind.