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Ravens_Wing
2010-04-26, 09:22 PM
Have you or any of your players ever thrown things into a characters backstory that made no affect on the game world but are just funny for the heck of it?

Example: I am currently playing in one of my friends campaigns a full blooded orc who has 13 levels of Barbarian, 2 levels of Rougue, and 1 level of Bard. He is a "Bardarian". So for his back story i desided that he was the lead guitarist in a band. His fellow bandmates were a Female Drow on Base + Backup Vocals, a Warforged on Drums, a Female MindFlayer on Lead Vocals, and they had a Male Kobold on Keyboard. There band name is
A.T.M. (Adamantine Terror Machine) and they preform "Fantasy" music with such hits as "My life as a Chartered Accoutant" and " Tales of a Dental Hygenist"

The band is currently on Hiatus as they are looking for a new Keyboardest as their Kobold Friend was killed by a group of wandering adventures while he was attending a family wedding.

See silly nonsence that can be used for roleplaying that could easily be done without but is sooo much more fun with.

I lookforward to many zany stories.

Ubercaledor
2010-04-26, 09:27 PM
The closest I had was an orphan who burnt down the monastary he was raised in and then entered the party pretending to be a nobleman (only the DM knew he was pretending).

valadil
2010-04-26, 09:49 PM
Oh yeah. I only do backstories for personal amusement. I usually slip weird little easter eggs into my backstories just to test if the GM is reading them.

Some favorites include:


Character's last name was "d'Jesus". (in a star wars game where it was totally inappropriate and irrelevant)
Entire character sheet was written en espanol.
For my dwarven cannibal, Bucky duForrest, my backstory was a downloaded Bill Brasky script (http://asp.elitefts.com/qa/default.asp?qid=37401&tid=53) with Bill's name replaced with Bucky's. GM didn't even notice.

Jera
2010-04-26, 09:51 PM
Someone posted this a while back, and I loved it...

Evil volcano cultists abducted me as a baby. I was saved from mass baby sacrifice by two paladins, one a wise-cracking rookie representing St. Cuthbert and the other a by-the-book veteran spreading the word of Pelor. In an explosion-filled magic carpet chase through the underground geyser system, the head cultist managed to possess me just before biting it. I was taken to an orphanage where eventually a master of kung-fu adopted me, recognizing me potential even at such an early age. I spent my childhood learning how to punch and kick, but mostly to seek inner peace. At night, I warred with the spirit of the cultist in my dreams, besting him in his weakened form, but I slowly came to realize that one day, he would overpower me. At the age of nine, I fled the monastery and fell into the hands of some gnomish sailors, who tried to sell me into slavery to an Orcish cabal of alchemists. The sale was interrupted by a raiding party of gnolls, though. In the ensuing battle, my left arms was crippled while stealing a worg and attempting to ride to safety. I trudged on through the deserts and plains and foothills, subsisting off of the (un)mercy of nature and fleeing the daily hordes of monsters and unnameable entities. After weeks of travel, I made it to a trading hub and apprenticed myself to the mad cleric of Olidamarra who healed my arm....several times after repeatedly crippling it for laughs. For years, I was used as guinea pig for the cleric's wizard friends, gaining all manner of maladies and additions to my physical form. During a boring afternoon, the evil cultist guy in my soul finally took over and promptly murdered the cleric, using my mouth to scream something about "violations" and weeping profusely. I regained control weeks afterward to realize that I was suddenly a famous adventurer, having defeated some guy which was totally bad ass (even though I don't remember it. But I do have a wooden fish souvenir thingy.)

Kumo
2010-04-26, 09:53 PM
I once slipped in something completely unrelated that happened to occur while my char was being born that was happening on another continent between two people about to die :smalltongue:



I also put in four siblings i did not expect the party to ever meet but gave them names, personalities, and even chose what their first gifts to their mother was.



EDIT: Oh, and i also made a character who completely ripped off the story from Assassin's creed and put in the phrase "And then Altaiir- i mean Sovure! Yeah! Definitely Sovure! - killed his master and..."

Granted, that backstory was lost and i had to retype up a shortened version but it makes me laugh.

Zeta Kai
2010-04-26, 10:05 PM
Evil volcano cultists abducted me as a baby. I was saved from mass baby sacrifice by two paladins, one a wise-cracking rookie representing St. Cuthbert and the other a by-the-book veteran spreading the word of Pelor. In an explosion-filled magic carpet chase through the underground geyser system, the head cultist managed to possess me just before biting it. I was taken to an orphanage where eventually a master of kung-fu adopted me, recognizing me potential even at such an early age. I spent my childhood learning how to punch and kick, but mostly to seek inner peace. At night, I warred with the spirit of the cultist in my dreams, besting him in his weakened form, but I slowly came to realize that one day, he would overpower me. At the age of nine, I fled the monastery and fell into the hands of some gnomish sailors, who tried to sell me into slavery to an Orcish cabal of alchemists. The sale was interrupted by a raiding party of gnolls, though. In the ensuing battle, my left arms was crippled while stealing a worg and attempting to ride to safety. I trudged on through the deserts and plains and foothills, subsisting off of the (un)mercy of nature and fleeing the daily hordes of monsters and unnameable entities. After weeks of travel, I made it to a trading hub and apprenticed myself to the mad cleric of Olidamarra who healed my arm....several times after repeatedly crippling it for laughs. For years, I was used as guinea pig for the cleric's wizard friends, gaining all manner of maladies and additions to my physical form. During a boring afternoon, the evil cultist guy in my soul finally took over and promptly murdered the cleric, using my mouth to scream something about "violations" and weeping profusely. I regained control weeks afterward to realize that I was suddenly a famous adventurer, having defeated some guy which was totally bad ass (even though I don't remember it. But I do have a wooden fish souvenir thingy.)

Wow, that is crazy epic. I would let that in one of my games, but I love it nonetheless.

Quincunx
2010-04-27, 05:05 AM
"Why am I nekkid? I can't wear clothes. Powerful curse. Very powerful. No, you can't dispel it. And don't throw that robe over my shoulders unless you don't mind losing it to the primal forces of the DEP.

". . .I used to be a prude. Seriously, badly prudish. Then I got mixed up with an adventurous band of Manly Men. Y'know how Superman gets his powers from--what do you mean it doesn't work that way? Sheesh, now someone tells me. Anyway, having them around charming my second-in-command and seducing all the locals was seriously getting on my nerves, so I went and stole the source of their studliness. Hair gel.

"Turns out, when they said it's not for girls, they meant it. Scourged me right down to the bone (hrhr, I said 'bone'), destroyed my raiment, unmade my prudery. Left me permanently nekkid down to my soul and with a strut to match. . .

". . .Dude, I warned you not to do that. It's disintegrated now, you can't get it back. Now you're out like what, how many thousands of gold does that type of robe cost anyway?"

Project_Mayhem
2010-04-27, 05:54 AM
My Mage in NWoD has a cigar-smoking, bowler-hat-wearing, amoral midget from chicago as a pre-established contact.

Because it's awesome

Deca
2010-04-27, 06:10 AM
After learning that my DM had never played any of the Elder Scrolls series, I began to insert references to my Drow character being native to the region of Vvardenfall, where he spent his youth in an egg-mine not far from the town of Balmora, the seat of House Hlaalu.
Also, he doesn't like being called a 'Drow'. It's 'Dunmer' or nothing.

Those were just a few examples. I generally just ripped off Morrowind for my entire backstory.
The DM praised me for being so inventive.

Fallbot
2010-04-27, 07:18 AM
Tried this once and it backfired. I detailed a character's entire crazy house and gave them all bad weather related puns for names (the PC was a drow named Drizz'll. Shush, it was funny at the time), assuming the DM would never look at any of it. Of course he did, and thought they were awesome. He wound up making them into major antagonists, stupid names and all.

Kumo
2010-04-27, 07:34 AM
Tried this once and it backfired. I detailed a character's entire crazy house and gave them all bad weather related puns for names (the PC was a drow named Drizz'll. Shush, it was funny at the time), assuming the DM would never look at any of it. Of course he did, and thought they were awesome. He wound up making them into major antagonists, stupid names and all.

I'll have you know Drizz'll roughly translates into 'the relentless scourge'

Coplantor
2010-04-27, 07:40 AM
Sheesh. let's see. I had a 2nd ed dwarf rogue with little to no respect towards the 4th wall, he started an adventuring career to become rich and strong. Why rich? He needed to buy food for his father. Why stronger? Well, his father was trapped under the corpse of a giant who for some reason wouldn't rot away.

Then there was my first 3.5 character who invested every little skill point he had in to Perform (interpretative dance).He lived with his best friend, a halfling who lived in his mother's basement.

Then there was a dwarf who had an explanation for every skill/feat/language he had. See this spiked chain? It was a gift from the barbarian tribe that raised when I was a kid, oh! When did I learned to swim? Well, when I was a child a tribe of sahuagin, wich was a little before I fell in a portal to the nine hells where I learned infernal. (I could go for hours here, I remember him spending some time with kobolds, halflings, elves and stone giants)

Zeta Kai
2010-04-27, 07:50 AM
I'll have you know Drizz'll roughly translates into 'the relentless scourge'

...And that's why I don't use drow in my campaigns.

Loxagn
2010-04-27, 07:51 AM
Most interesting character I ever had, backstory-wise? His backstory was never the same twice. He was absolutely bat**** crazy, and whenever asked, I would fill in a mad-lib, and tell that story as the character's past.

It confused the poor paladin to no end, dealing with someone so adamantly chaotic.

Ubercaledor
2010-04-27, 07:52 AM
After learning that my DM had never played any of the Elder Scrolls series, I began to insert references to my Drow character being native to the region of Vvardenfall, where he spent his youth in an egg-mine not far from the town of Balmora, the seat of House Hlaalu.
Also, he doesn't like being called a 'Drow'. It's 'Dunmer' or nothing.

Those were just a few examples. I generally just ripped off Morrowind for my entire backstory.
The DM praised me for being so inventive.

What kind of self-respecting person hasn't played morrowind?:P

Ormur
2010-04-27, 07:55 AM
I concocted a backstory to justify the ridiculously complicated gestalt multi-class character I made for a high powered dungeoncrawl. It wasn't that funny by itself except he was a Bard 10/Sublime Chord 2/Daggerspell Mage 4//Lion Totem Barbarian/Ranger 2/Fighter/Scout 2/Daggerspell Mage/Scout 9 halfling with a wild cohort so it was the longest backstory I've ever made and it was for a dungeoncrawl. I didn't even need to write down anything.

It also included stuff like "my tribe was attacked by (insert ranger favoured enemy yet to be decided as optimal for campaign)".

Serpentine
2010-04-27, 07:59 AM
Last campaign I was in, we had to write backstories and everything for our legacy items. Mine was an ancestral item, with a backstory that tied into hers. I'm not sure where it is, so here's a summary from memory:

Several hundred years ago, an elven man discovered a number of demons exploring the woods. He defeated them, and tracked them down to a Gate that had been opened by unknown forces. He closed it, but not before one last demon got through: a succubus who had had enough of the Hells and the constant Blood Wars. She approached peacefully, and requested to join the elf and his community. With the help of the elves, she was significantly rehabilitated of her Evil tendencies, and eventually she and the original elven man settled down and had several children together. Eventually, they had a grandchild: Sar'Pynestae (3/4 Elf Tiefling Ranger).
When Sar'Pynestae was very young, she was captured by a Marilith general to fight in the Blood Wars. When her family found out, her grandmother, the succubus, gathered various friends and allies into a party and plunged into the Hells to rescue her.
The adventure was an epic one, and would probably make a good campaign someday.
Sar'Pynestae was eventually found, but it was a number of years before she was able to function normally again. Now, she is a functional Chaotic Good Ranger, an asset to her community. But the scars still remain, and her grip on sanity is often tenuous...

If she ever ends up in the Hells again, she will have an instant breakdown. She will scream, cry, and/or fall comatose. When she recovers, she will be Chaotic (or was it True?) Neutral, will be devoted to escaping at any cost, preferably (but not necessarily, if it's the only way) with her allies.

Glimbur
2010-04-27, 11:02 AM
I made a warforged Dragonfire Adept for a play by post game. I noticed that Speak Language was on the DFA's skill list, and I didn't have anything better to spend the points on so I took max ranks in it. Why does a robot speak so many languages? Clearly, he must have been a diplomat's aide. Why can he breathe fire? I told you, he's a diplomat's aide.

Ravens_Wing
2010-04-27, 04:02 PM
Oh man these are good.

Here is another one from me. I was playing a rogue who was working towards Assassin and i was hired to gointo a city that was under seige and kill its leader so that the 2nd in comand who was working for the enemy army could take over. So only the Dm and I knew that was my goal, and so to have something to tell the other players I made it so my character was a master chef. had his own briefcase spicerack (some of the spices were real others were poison). And to make the story more believeable i made up recipies for this character to have as specialties. My Favorite had to be Kobold Kabobs. Big thing to remember is you Really need to Tenderise the meat before cooking it. Think (Great Club).

Angry Bob
2010-04-27, 04:53 PM
A Changeling Wizard:

"My parents were archmages, so I got pretty much a free pass to any academy they wanted. I just kept getting sent to different schools. You know, the usual stuff: defacing campus property, academic dishonesty, nailing the headmaster's niece in his office. For that last one, I'm still not sure whether it would have been more or less awkward if I'd been a dude at the time."

For a Warforged melee beast with a manufacturer's disclaimer in the place of a backstory.

"Prolonged use of the Painmaster 1000(TM) may cause joint pain, headache, disorientation, hemorrhaging, or death. If you develop any of these symptoms, discontinue use of the Painmaster 1000(TM). Do not leave perishable items, valuable items, house pets, livestock, infants, or buildings unattended within 20 feet of the Painmaster 1000(TM). The Painmaster 1000(TM) contains moving parts. Keep out of reach of children. Choking hazard. Crushing Hazard. Do not taunt the Painmaster 1000(TM)."

Beowulf DW
2010-04-27, 04:58 PM
Once made up a Wild Elf monk who was banished from his home because of the last prophecy given by the local oracle with her very last breath, which stated that my character would burn down a forest one day. Unfortunately, the oracle was too dead to tell the other Wild Elves which forest the monk would burn down, but the other Wild Elves assumed it would be their forest.

I find it funny when prophecies and other cosmic forces get lazy.

Kumo
2010-04-27, 05:04 PM
...And that's why I don't use drow in my campaigns.

It was an 8-bit theatre reference :smalltongue:

http://www.nuklearpower.com/2003/04/17/episode-274-the-villain-revealed/

Poil
2010-04-27, 05:07 PM
A Shadowrun troll who had been banned from every single zoo in Seattle as well as the neighboring areas for his enthusiasm towards big game hunting. Even got him a monocle and a British accent.