2 4e Races!

[Chainsaw Hobbit]

Chaond
Planetouched children of chaos, Chaond are savage warriors and insane scholars.

Racial Traits

Ability Scores +2 dexterity, +2 strength or charisma
Size Medium
Speed 6 squares
Vision Normal

Languages Common, primordial.
Skill Bonuses +2 acrobatics, +2 intimidate
Chaotic Resistance The Chaond has resistance to their choice of the fallowing: cold damage, fire damage, lightning damage, thunder damage, or acid damage equal to 5+ half the Chaond's level.
Bloodied Rage The Chaond has +1 to attacks while bloodied.
Chaos Pulse The Chaond gains the use of the Chaos Pulse power.

Chaos Pulse Chaond Racial Power
As your foe strikes you chaotic energy erupts from the wound
Encounter
Immediate Reaction (when a foe hits you with a melee attack)
Attack constitution +2 vs reflex
Hit The target takes damage equal to 1d6+ your constitution modifier.
The type of damage is randomly rolled on a d6
1 Fire
2 Cold
3 Lightning
4 Thunder
5 Acid
6 Roll twice and use both results

Play a Chaond if you want:
- To have versatile abilities.
- To have a loud and colorful personality.
- To make a great sorcerer and be good at being a rogue or monk


Zenythri
A disciplined people of rule and law, Zenythri are a race of judges and champions.

Racial Traits

Ability Scores +2 constitution, +2 intelligence
Size Medium
Speed 6 squares
Vision Normal

Languages Common, Choice of one other.
Skill Bonuses +2 endurance, +2 history
Extensive Training The Zenythri gains 1 bonous Skill.
Steel Defence The Zenythri has +1 to defenses vs bloodied targets.
Brutal Discipline The Zenythri gains the use of the Brutal Discipline power

Brutal Discipline Zenythri Racial Power
You shrug off your conditions and keep fighting.
Encounter
Immediate Reaction (when you fail a saving throw)
Effect You may re-roll the save.

Play a Zenythri if you want:
- To be disciplined and strictly trained.
- To have a lawful and unyielding soul.
- To make a good swordmage or Battlemind and not a half-bad wizard.

Feed-back Please!

[Gralamin]

You are just pumping these out. Before I comment, are you making a Campaign setting or something?

[Chainsaw Hobbit]

You are just pumping these out. Before I comment, are you making a Campaign setting or something?

Sort of, I'm making a book of races for fun.

[Mando Knight]

The Zenythri don't make notable paladins at all. Constitution is a secondary score at best, and Intelligence is their designated dump stat. Half-Elves, Genasi, even Drow and Changelings make better Paladins. It would also be nice to have some kind of idea as to the races' appearance.

[Chainsaw Hobbit]

Chaonds look like short, muscular humans with purple skin and Zenythri look like tall humans with pail skin and no hair.

[Lord Raziere]

Chaond
Planetouched children of chaos, Chaond are savage warriors and insane scholars.

Racial Traits

Ability Scores +2 dexterity, +2 strength or charisma
Size Medium
Speed 6 squares
Vision Normal

Languages Common, primordial.
Skill Bonuses +2 acrobatics, +2 intimidate
Chaotic Resistance The Chaond has resistance to their choice of the fallowing: cold damage, fire damage, lightning damage, thunder damage, or acid damage equal to 5+ half the Chaond's level.
Bloodied Rage The Chaond has +1 to attacks while bloodied.
Chaos Pulse The Chaond gains the use of the Chaos Pulse power.

Chaos Pulse Chaond Racial Power
As your foe strikes you chaotic energy erupts from the wound
Encounter
Immediate Reaction (when a foe hits you with a melee attack)
Attack constitution vs reflex
Hit The target takes damage equal to your constitution modifier.
The type of damage is randomly rolled on a d6
1 Fire
2 Cold
3 Lightning
4 Thunder
5 Acid
6 Roll twice and use both results

Play a Chaond if you want:
- To have versatile abilities.
- To have a loud and colorful personality.
- To make a great sorcerer and be good at being a rogue or monk


Zenythri
A disciplined race of rule and law, Zenythri are a race of judges and champions.

Racial Traits

Ability Scores +2 constitution, +2 intelligence
Size Medium
Speed 6 squares
Vision Normal

Languages Common, Choice of one other.
Skill Bonuses +2 endurance, +2 history
Extensive Training The Zenythri gains 1 bonous at-will power.
Steel Defence The Zenythri has +1 to defenses vs bloodied targets.
Brutal Discipline The Zenythri gains the use of the Brutal Discipline power

Brutal Discipline Zenythri Racial Power
You move swiftly across the battlefield in the form of a cloud of mist.
Encounter
Immediate Reaction (when you fail a saving throw)
Effect You may re-roll the save.

Play a Zenythri if you want:
- To be disciplined and strictly trained.
- To have a lawful and unyielding soul.
- To make a good swordmage or Battlemind and not a half-bad wizard.

Feed-back Please!

fixed for great justice.

[Chainsaw Hobbit]

I have more planned for tomorrow and the day after, a few being the faun (lesser cousins of the satyr), the half-gargoyle, and the half-ogre!
(Stay tuned! :smallwink:)

[Mando Knight]

The fluff text for the Zenythri racial power does not fit with the power.

[Chainsaw Hobbit]

The fluff text for the Zenythri racial power does not fit with the power.

Fixed it. (sorry, copy and paste) :smallwink:

[DiscipleofBob]

As much as I support more 4e homebrew on the forum, don't be so hasty in pumping out new races so quickly. Take the time to write out some fluff for each race and think more about the concept instead of just writing down stuff that would be good for one particular class and posting it.

That being said, Chaond looks good, but Zenythri should get either a bonus at-will or their racial. Not both. The reason humans get a bonus at-will is because they don't get a cool racial ability like everyone else.

You seem to favor static +1 bonuses against bloodied/non-bloodied targets, etc. as racial features. There's nothing wrong with this as those are valid, but it is kind of bland.

More flavor text would help this problem. Describe their physical traits, their cultures, etc.

[Chainsaw Hobbit]

I fixed the Zenythri at-will thing.

[Chainsaw Hobbit]

Any other mechanics to change?

[erikun]

Yes.

Chaond feel like weak Dragonborn. Chaos Pulse deals a very small amount of damage, so it should either automatically damage as an immediate reaction, or do more on a hit. If you are opting for an attack roll, Constitution +2 vs. Reflex, for 1d8 + Constitution modifier damage and possibly a secondary effect. Increase it to Con +4 vs. Reflex at level 11, and Con +6 vs. Reflex at level 21. Increase the damage to 2d8 + Constitution modifier at level 21.

Note that a racial which runs off Constitution is VERY strange for a race that doesn't get a bonus to Constitution.

Zenythri is... huh. Extensive Training should read "You gain training in any one skill. This skill does not need to be from your class skill list." Brutal Discipline should be No Action, as you can't take Immediate Actions at the end of your turn anyways. They would make good Swordmages, Batttleminds, Wizards, and Warlocks. There is no needs to put "half-bad" when there are two paths for Wizards which rely on Constitution.

Overall, I have to agree with DiscipleofBob. These are feeling very bland, especially sitting next to the Aasimar and Ganeshi you have in other threads. If you feel like you need the Planescape races in your campaign, perhaps spend a few days with each one to make them all stand out.

[Enlightened1]

I suggest that the Chaond's encounter power should be based on one of its relevant abilities rather than Constitution. Perhaps give the option of Strength or Constitution, like in the Dragonborn's power.