(ic) L.O.S.E.

[Limos]

Hero City, Statesville. Never a more shining beacon of utopic utopia to ever be... utopian. Stretching from one horizon to another this massive metropolis is filled with legions of smiling happy people. The kind of people who are genuinely content with their squalid little lives and their inconsequential jobs shuffling papers in one of the hundreds of identical office buildings, probably selling paper to one of the other office buildings who sell pens to yet another one. Sickening.

Nearing the edge of the bustling city the massive steel spires peter out and shrink into happy suburban homes. The neighborhoods overflow with the laughter of children and that infernal pinging music of ice cream trucks. Nauseating, the whole saccharine edifice. All these little worker drones lined up in rows, driving their identical cars down their identical streets to earn identical paychecks to feed their identical families. The whole thing's so sweet you think it might give you diabetes.

Crouched like a warty toad upon the pristine toilet bowl of society the L.O.S.E. hideout glowers upon it's neighbors in a spiteful display of disrepair and general hopelessness. The small home is two stories, with cracked baseboards and rotting shutters hanging like cracked toenails from the dark windows. A single yellowing bulb flickers fitfully from the doorway. All in all not a promising start to your first night on the job.

All of you were dropped her by a fleet of unmarked windowless vans, each of you having been brought to the headquarters separately and having not met any of the others who were to presumably become your teammates. The only person that looks like he knows what he is on about is a rusty, and obviously shoddily constructed, robot standing on the porch. The machine waves at you uncertainly.

[Lost Demiurge]

The twenty-something black-haired girl in the Statesville Spartans team jacket steps out of the van, pulling a duffel bag with her. She's got the build of a gymnast, and a pair of goggles pushed up on her head. There's asian ancestry in the mix there somewhere, but it's lost in the general Americanized mutt-ness that are the rest of her features.

She chews gum, blows a bubble, and pops it at the shoddy house, unimpressed. "Dude." A single word sums it up.

She looks around at the other vans unloading, and shrugs. No sense in embarassing myself by talking to the wrong person just yet. Don't wanna look too eager. 'Sides, some of 'em look kinda freaky, last thing I need to do is be too nice to the nerdy one who'll cling to me forever.

She heads toward the robot. "Hey. How's it hangin', Ironhide?"

[Unkabear]

One of the vans sported a trailer, one that was designed for large animals, perhaps horses. When the trip began there were three people leading the cow into the trailer, one of which was a bit over exuberant in his enthusiasm. By the time they all arrived there were only two people and a cow in the trailer, and a great deal of blood splattered all across the back of the decrepit thing. A long line of blood could be trailed across the city where this van had travelled.

The cow had exited the trailer unencouraged and moved about, the bell hanging at its neck rang lazily with each step. She looked about seeing a tasty morsel and a tin can, perhaps there would be more later.

"Mmmrooo" she called claiming this decrepit home her own!

[goblinpaladin]

A short, dark-haired girl in her early twenties hopped out of a third van. She looked rather non-descript, with short black hair and street clothes. She folded her arms under her breasts and leaned against the van, shaking her head.

"'Sup, guys, gals, and-- cow." Her voice had a distinctive Irish brogue.

[Sliver]

Out of yet another van came a man in his thirties, a tower of muscle and red spiked hair. Could it be his natural hair style and color? No, no it's not. His red eyes scan the scene silently before he stepped towards the cow.

"You look the most intelligent, you must be the leader. Are we waiting for something before the briefing?"

[Deca]

One of the vans back doors hastily opened and a man was pushed out and dumped outside unceremoniously before the van drove off.

The man got to his feet and ran several paces after the departing van roaring.
'Who do you think you are! I'll murder you! Come back and fight like a man!'

He was decently muscled and young-ish looking, wearing only a pair of tattered trousers and old greatcoat. One of his more noticeable features was his inexpertly braided beard. Of course, his far more noticeable feature was that the entire right side of his body had been replaced with scratched and dented metal.
After a few seconds, he clalmed down enough to look around and notice the others. He absent-mindedly reached down to scratch at his metallic peg-leg as he observed them.

"What's going on 'ere?"

[goblinpaladin]

The shorter girl shrugs, pale shoulders revealed by the singlet she's wearing. "Annual meeting of the white van appreciation society."

[Sliver]

Hong-Ya steps next to the short girl, making the difference in hight quite apparent, looking down, he introduces himself "I am Hong-Ya. I was a freelancer master of the martial arts, and you are?"

[Unkabear]

Out of yet another van came a man in his thirties, a tower of muscle and red spiked hair. Could it be his natural hair style and color? No, no it's not. His red eyes scan the scene silently before he stepped towards the cow.

"You look the most intelligent, you must be the leader. Are we waiting for something before the briefing?"

Mooageddon shook her head a bit and answered all of their questions "Moo"

[Venom]

Tires squealing around the corner yet another van hurdles down the street at break neck speeds towards the ramshackle abode. The van braking hard as if the driver were literally standing on the things. The front passenger gets out and slams open the side door, reaching into the darkness he yanks someone out of the back and unceremoniously dumps them and their duffel bag onto the ground. Once the unnamed passenger gets over to the van he shivers as if he had arachnophobia and just had the biggest spider in his van with him. Shutting the doors he gets in while shouting FREAK, and then the van leaves with as much alacrity as it had arrived.

Collecting himself, Jon gets up off the ground, brushes himself off and gathers his bearings. Standing there is someone who has the appearance of a human, but his hands, feet, and eyes are definitely spider-like. Two fingers and a thumb that are abnormally long and skinny, and they seem as if they have an extra joint, the same could be said of his feet. Two toes where five should be, and out of his heel grows a third toe. Not to mention his eyes. Eight red orbs where only two should be, and they all blink. *Gross*

Hi, he says waving to all those around as if absolutely nothing were out of place. Is this our new house? he asks innocently. I call dibs on the basement, he says as he makes his way toward the run down house, dragging his duffel behind him with what looks to be a thick rope of spiders webbing. Ya know, if I didn't know better I'd say this place might be haunted, he says laughing to himself. Getting to the door he looks at the rusting, pitted, and dented form of the house robot. Sweet!

Running into the house he nearly pulls the door off its frame. Oh, he exclaims. I'll fix that, as he shoots a line of webbing into the corner. There, he smiles at his handy work, much better.

[goblinpaladin]

The young woman looks up at Hong-Ya and raises an eyebrow. "Captain Janeway, of the U.S.S Enterprise." She grinned and hefted her bag. "I guess we're s'posed to go in, huh?"

[Sliver]

Hong-Ya shrugs "We don't have to.." he says as he leaps up the porch "You are going to brief us?" he pokes the rusty construct.

[Lost Demiurge]

"I think it's warming up." Says the other short girl, the one with the goggles, as she gestures at the robot.

Her eyes flick back to the cow, and the trail of blood, some still encrusting it.

"Are we gonna need a barn, here? I'm hoping you're a werecow or something?"

[Limos]

Seeing you all milling about the rusty robot clanks down the uneven flagstones to the curb. The robot is humanoid, but blocky and crude. It has no mouth or nose and it's eyes are just two black circles on the front of the cylindrical head. The body is barrel shaped and has the number Twenty Four painted on it.

"BEEP" he says in greety. "BOOP BOOP BEEP."

He reaches into his chest compartment and produces a ring of keys, such as those usually owned by janitors. Twenty-four offers the entire jangling bunch to the first person who will take them and then stands in wait.

[Lost Demiurge]

The goggled girl takes them, and frowns at them. "Oh-kay. Uh, thanks."

She glances back at the group, and shrugs. "Guess we should go in. Anyway, my name's L-" She blinks, "er, Femme Fatale."

Turning around, she puts the goggles down over her eyes and heads up onto the front porch, carefully judging it for sturdiness. Once before the door, she tries key after key.

[Sliver]

Hong-Ya mumbles "I hate technology" as he enters into the house through the porch.

[Limos]

The living room is just as dingy and dismal as the rest of the house. The only furniture is a ratty old couch and a small television sitting on top of a cardboard box. The floorboards of the house creak beneath your feet and the walls are painted a light green. The paint is flaking away and peeling in many places.

Past the living room Twenty-four leads you into a small kitchen which houses an old antique of a refrigerator (empty of course), a stove, a microwave, and a small table and chairs. The room is tiled with white and black tiling, which by this time has become closer to yellow and gray with accumulated dirt.

Through the sliding glass door in the kitchen you can see the back yard. No grass grows on the property and the yard is mostly dirt with the occasional stubborn weed. There is a very large doghouse in the backyard, though it appears uninhabited.

Continuing your tour you find the stairs leading down into the basement, which is dark, dank, and spooky. There is only one lightbulb to be seen and a massive boiler lurks in the shadows. For some reason there is mattress here as well, stacked with comfy woolen blankets.

Back on the first story you find a single guest bedroom and a bathroom. The bedroom is slightly less dismal than the rest of the building. The wallpaper looks like it was installed more recently and has only begun to peel a little bit. Though of course it is a shade of orange that burns your eyes with it's hideousness. The room is dominated by a massive four poster bed with clawed feet and a huge headboard carved with angry staring eyes. The bathroom is small and houses only a toilet, sink, and shower stall. As with the kitchen there are no supplies in the cabinets, or extra clothes in the closets.

Finally going upstairs you two more small bedrooms. They have normal beds instead of monstrous ones and a shared bathroom instead of having their own. Lastly there is the Master Bedroom. Larger than the other three bedrooms combined the room's paint is not peeling, the floor is carpeted with plush beige carpeting, the bed is king size, with down comforters and a profusion of pillows. There is another large empty wardrobe. The Master bathroom houses a double sink, a large bathtub, another show stall, and a toilet. The entire thing is scrupulously clean, though empty of any supplies as the other rooms were.

[Sliver]

As Red Duck finishes scouting the house, he nods with approval. "Seems as they went through great lengths to make this place as least hospitable as possible. Besides the master bedroom, of course. I'd guess it is so we can argue who deserves it more. I'm ready to wrestle you, but I couldn't care less about the bedroom. Do note, I snore." he looks around.

"Damn this place is the sh**. Alright" Hong-Ya claps his hands and some of the dust around him rises as if there was a blastwave. Hong-Ya waves it away and continues "We need someone on cleaning duty, grocery duty, cooking duty, repair duty, and cow duty" he looks at the cow "that's great. Take notes, that is taking initiative. Cow duty is handled. We can safely assume Moo here isn't a veggie pers- cow. And that's great. Vegetarians are *******, we need no ***** cows on our team! We need some MEAT!"

[Lost Demiurge]

"Daaaammn." Fatale drawls as she walks through the house. "Reminds me of the Pallas Mundi Seta Sorority house. With less vomit."

She pops the goggles up. "Dibs on the basement. And those duties sound pretty well ordered. I'm good with wiring so I'll take repair duty."

[Venom]

Ahem..., Jon clears his throat. I believe I called the basement. And before this, he points to himself up and down, happened, I was a janitor so I'll get grocery duty. So who's got the money for groceries?

[Sliver]

Hong-Ya raises an eyebrow "I thought janitors were fixing and cleaning, I don't see a connection to buying food..."

OOC: I guess that unless our first gig will be robbing for food and supplies... How much money we personally have?

"I have no money... Looks like our first gig is surviving! Should we break into a supermarket or something? We would probably need general supplies like nails and tools so we can fix up the place"

[Lost Demiurge]

Ahem..., Jon clears his throat. I believe I called the basement. And before this, he points to himself up and down, happened, I was a janitor so I'll get grocery duty. So who's got the money for groceries?

"What? Aw, ****, you're right. Okay, fine. I'll take the creepy looking guest room on the first floor."

"And y'know, if we rob a Walled Mart, we could get all of that AND food and cash at the same time. And it should be easy, I used to work at one. None of the employees will do jack to stop you. Management might, but if we take'em out first and **** with the cameras, we can surf outta there with bags of stuff on a wave of general apathy."

[Sliver]

"I can carry about a thousand pounds of stuff. If we can take out the security cameras, pack quickly enough, and find some good disguise..."

[Lost Demiurge]

"I can take out cameras. They always put the security room in the same place, anyway."

She glances left. Great. It followed us up the staircase.

"So, how do we use you in this plan, cow-shaped predator?"

[Sliver]

"Moo should stay here... Such a minor mission we don't want to make it obvious... Any witness will easily narrow it down so that our future gigs might turn out to be harder then we would like..."

[Lost Demiurge]

"Uh, that thing was eating people. We're people. Let's ask it's opinion on where it wants to go."

"How 'bout it? Sit this one out and we go in stealthy and sneaky? Or come with us and we figure a way to fit you in and take refuge in audacity?"

"Either way, we'll kick ass."

[Venom]

Standing in the hallway leading to the master bedroom Jon pipes in. Ok, so, the plan is to hit the Walled Mart. Super! he gives a big thumbs up. Are we just going to run in there, grab a bunch of stuff hoping we get what we need, and high tail it back here all in full view of the cameras and people? Or are we going to take out the security room first, have a couple of us at the exits stopping anyone from leaving, and the rest of us take a stroll through gathering what we need? Ya know, food, cleaning supplies, tools, cash, cow pen, and cake.Standing there for half a second he adds Oh, also, how are we going to get there?

[Deca]

The Captain looked around the crumblind dusty house with a small measure of admiration.

"Arrr...It be just like home! I like it."

After he walked up the stairs, he quickly laid claim to the Master Bedroom.

"First come, first served! This one is mine! Go get your own beds!"

[Venom]

Laughing at the piratey man Haha, the joke's on you. I already laid claim to that sweet basement bedroom. That basement is the lair of the heinous "Brown Recluse". Saying that last part Jon even pantomimes the quotation marks.

[Lost Demiurge]

Shaking her head, Fatale goes and throws her duffel bag on the guest bedroom's bed. She takes a second to examine it, and all the angry staring eyes, before heading back upstairs.

"We're gonna need short-term transportation before we rob anything. Anyone know how to carjack an SUV?"

[Limos]

Twenty-four pokes Femme Fatale on the shoulder and then leads the group through yet another rickety door, and into the garage. The entire room smells of old engine oil and gym socks. A profusion of random crap is piled along one wall. The other half of the garage is occupied by the Losemobile, an exceptionally ugly truck painted a virulent shade of green and plastered with the L.O.S.E. emblem in purple. The emblem looks like it was place there using spray paint and a stencil.

Losemobile
Strength 40, Speed 4, Defense 8, Toughness 8, Size Huge

L.O.S.E. HQ
Size Small, Toughness 5
Features: Garage, Living Space, Workshop

[Lost Demiurge]

Femme Fatale snorts, then pats 24 on the top of its casing. "Alright."

"Okay. Subtlety's out on this one. So how about this?"

"We dress someone up as a stereotypical dumb foreigner. They go in with our friend Moo here, who poses as an ordinary cow, and use a bad accent and poor understanding of English to try to sell the cow to Walled Mart. Eventually this will draw management because ordinary wage slaves don't get paid enough to put up with this ****. Moo and the stereotype should be able to dispose of the manager. Then start looting cash from the registers."

"In the meantime, I go in and deal with the cameras. While this is going on, two others of us will be shopping. Once I signal that the cameras are done, they can finish up, then run their goods straight out."

"While this is going on, someone is going to act as lookout and backup as needed."

"Anyone got any problems with this? And if not, then who wants what role?"

"Also, is anyone good at driving? I'm okay, but not great. And we'll need either illusions or really good driving to get away clean after."

[goblinpaladin]

The second of the two human girls came back into the room after claiming one of the upstairs bedrooms, and nodded to Femme Fatale.

"Hey. It so happens, I'm pretty great with illusions." As she spoke, her hair changed colour and the walls behind the group started to bleed. "Do we really need to rob the 'Mart just to get some groceries? I mean, I could conjure up some fake money pretty easily. We'd need to leave in a hurry, and you'd have to take care of the cameras, but we wouldn't need to make a big fuss."

She leaned down to retie her boots, the bright green laces of one of which had come undone. "Oh, and, uh- my real name's Na Sióg Dubh, The Black Fairy."

[Lost Demiurge]

Fatale smiles. "Hey, pleased to meet you. I guess we could go low-key and do that instead."

She looks around. "Dunno. What do you guys think? Over the top and chaos, or easy fairy money?"

[goblinpaladin]

Sióg smiled back as she straightened. "Yeah, you too."

[Deca]

"I don't really need to eat so I don't care either way."

He left the master bedroom and joined the general gathering.
"You can call me the Captain."

[Unkabear]

When Mooageddon was shown her room she was pleased and climbed onto the King sized bed and settled down.

Mooageddon finds an upstairs room and claims it. She was not about to give up any form of comfort that she could.

Yes, this would do. "Moo" she said in triumph.


Edit: Missed that. I will let it go. With everyone fighting for the basement I will claim the master bedroom. Really I sort of like the irony, the Cow gets the Master Bedroom

As they gather to go Mooageddon finds herself in the garage. If one paid attention they could note that they do not remember her getting off the bed, and that the door was locked as they had left (thanks 24) but still she was here in the Garage climbing into the back of the truck to go to the store with the others.

[Sliver]

Moo is gonna fight for that bedroom? It was already claimed:

The Captain looked around the crumblind dusty house with a small measure of admiration.

"Arrr...It be just like home! I like it."

After he walked up the stairs, he quickly laid claim to the Master Bedroom.

"First come, first served! This one is mine! Go get your own beds!"

Hong-Ya claimed the last of the upstairs bedrooms. He considered the plans and shrugged.

[Lost Demiurge]

"The Captain? Like in Nextwave?" Fatale looks over the cyborg. "Probably not. Oh well, good to meet you anyway."

She glances back to Siog. "Yeah, okay, let's try it your way. C'mon guys, shopping trip! I'll drive."
And she rolls up the garage door, pops in a few keys until she finds the one that fits, and fires up the ignition.

[Venom]

Locking the doors behind him, Jon makes his way to the vehicle. Shouting on his way down the back porch, shotgun!

[Limos]

The Losemobile starts with a coughing roar and a plume off thick black smoke. The rusty garage door squeals as it rumbles slowly open. The truck has enough room for four to squeeze into the driver's compartment and for Mooageddon to ride in the cargo, with plenty of space left over for loot. Though old and ugly the Losemobile is solid and reliable, and surprisingly has a full tank of gas. Or at least the fuel gauge says it has a full tank of whatever it is the Losemobile runs on.

As you rumble your way down the suburban streets you find your slow vehicle being passed by cheerful businessmen in sedans who honk politely and call out 'Howdy Neighbor!'

Finally you find yourselves at the Megalo-mart, the local chain of major wholesaler and purveyor of worthless crap. The building stands alone in the exact center of a massive parking lot. A single blue and white obelisk jutting from the desert of yellow striped asphalt. The parking lot is filled with minvans, SUVs and sedans. Everywhere there are happy little pedestrians running errands as they cheerfully hike the half mile from their cars to the entrance.

Then, like a golden beacon of hope amidst the endless sands of consumerism you spot it. Femme Fatale, The Captain and Brown Recluse all see the spot open up before anyone else in the car. The very first spot in the row, right next to the entrance. The perfect parking spot.

You also see the family car making it's sedate way to the spot in the parallel lane, far ahead of you.

[Lost Demiurge]

"No you don't!"

Femme Fatale slams on the gas, and with a villainous laugh, CUTS THE FAMILY CAR OFF...


[roll0]


At least, that was the plan. The curb injects a harsh dose of reality.

Fortunately, Femme Fatale was wearing her seatbelt.

[Venom]

OH! theretherethere! Jon points excitedly. PUNCH IT!

[Limos]

Oh no you le didn't. That's a fumble lass. That means it's the GM Pain Train to Hurtsville!

The Losemobile surges back into motion as Femme Fatale attempts to gun it to the spot. Instead it hits a curb and flies a perfect 45 degree arc into a graceful swan dive, coming to a rest upside down on top of two minivans. The two minivans are crushed into a jumble of twisted metal and plastic bits. The Losemobile is relatively unharmed.

It's not a complete loss though, you are still parked near the entrance, just not the way you intended.

All players make a Toughness save. 2 Damage, so DC 18.

[goblinpaladin]

The Black Fairy grins and flexes her fingers somewhat melodramatically. A small child, clad in a pink fairy costume and waving a glitter-spilling magic wand appears from between some cars- and then toddles in front of the family sedan.

It is oblivious to the oncoming danger! Poor child...

[ooc: I have no idea how this would work in game mechanics.]

[Lost Demiurge]

Toughness save sez...
[roll0]


Bruised and knocked somewhat loopy, Fatale works her way out of the upside-down truck.

She sits on the bumper of one of the wrecked minivans, and puts her face in her hands. "Aw, man..."

[Unkabear]

Roll for toughness [roll0] bruised

Mooageddon was not sure why she was upside down, and not really happy how she was supporting the vehicle. This was why she always flew first class.

Mooageddon climbed out and stood up, and looked about. It was not quite time for a rampage, but she was really seeing the benefits of a good one right about now.

[Deca]

Toughness Roll



The Captain manages to claw his way out of wreckage relatively unharmed. As he gets up, he eyes the car that stole their space.

'Cut us off will you? Have at ye!'

His eyes glow red for a moment before he fires off a laser blast directed at (and hopefully) through, the windscreen of the offending car.


He's a firing his laser
[roll]1d20+6

[Venom]

[roll0]

((will edit post after I see the results of my potentially crappy roll))

That... didn't go so well... Jon groaned with the pain that comes from riding a getaway truck that lands upside down on two other vehicles. At least he didn't have the cow on top of him. Think that drew any attention? He said as he climbed out the passenger side window only to have to climb down further from the crushed minivan.

Turning around he took in the entire scene. That doesn't look that bad. It should buff out. Of course we're gonna have to flip it back onto the rubber first. Scanning the parking lot Jon looks for a shopping cart. Welp, let's get to shoppin'.

[Deca]

Dang forum roller. Making laser blast attack roll again.
[roll0]

[Sliver]

Hong-Ya came out of the car unscratched. "That's some fancy driving. I know driving, but I never got the chance to learn that trick. I do think that you are supposed to park wheels side down, but I never seen your method used..."

As he speaks, Hong-Ya drags the losemobile down and flips it. Then he drags out one of the smashed cars and replaces with their lose.

[Lost Demiurge]

"Uh. Yeah." Says Fatale.

She glances into the truck as it's turned right side up, breathes a sigh of relief that everyone's moving.

Getting painfully to her feet, she looks at the minivan remnants. "Wow. Okay, not used to having this much mass in a ride. S'kinda nice."

She grimaces and rubs her face. "This makes taking out the cameras all the more important. Let's head in and get to work."

[goblinpaladin]

The Black Fairy staggered out of the wreckage, managing to carry a small bag with her. "Ow. Ow. Ow. What kinda driving was that? Ow." She woozily wobbles away from the cars and sits on the curb.

"Ow."

She doesn't appear to have noticed the cyborg blasting lasers; her eyes are somewhat unfocused.

[Lost Demiurge]

"Well, it was going great up until we hit that curb. Then it turned into s***ty driving." Says Fatale, pulling out a penlight from her utility bandolier. "Hold still. Lemme check... Yeah, looks like a concussion. Here, some of the red goo ought to fix that."

Using beginner's luck and the hero point you just gave us to gain five ranks of medicine, and trying to help da fairy out.

So help me gawds, if this comes up another stinkin' one...
[roll0]

THERE we go. Oughta help get rid of that staggered.


"Can't do anything for the bruises, but this'll keep you from collapsing. I went through enough of it during my L.O.S.E introduction to Tae Bo and Junior Law course."

[goblinpaladin]

"Oooh. Thanks. Hey, y'know, you're real pretty?" The Black Fairy smiled vaguely, her eyes beginning to glitter their usual multiple colours. "You an' your twin sister."

She blinked and shook her head. "Oh. Hey! That's awesome. You should market that."

[Sliver]

"A concussion? From what?" Hong-Ya looks around "Is there an invisible foe around?"

[goblinpaladin]

"Huh?" Na Siog Dubh looked up at the martial artist. "Ohhh, wait, I get it. Okay, sure." She wiggled her fingers, sticking her tongue out comically, and the damage faded from view.

"Thing is, guys, that this stuff won't fool cameras. Or last that long. We gotta hustle. And-- wait, what is the pirate doing?"

[Sliver]

"Fighting the ninjas probably..." Hong-Ya looks around, alert and ready for the invisible foe to strike again.

[Lost Demiurge]

"Oooh. Thanks. Hey, y'know, you're real pretty?" The Black Fairy smiled vaguely, her eyes beginning to glitter their usual multiple colours. "You an' your twin sister."

"Er, thanks." Says Fatale, looking slightly away. Totally a bruise on her cheek, and not a blush. Really.


She blinked and shook her head. "Oh. Hey! That's awesome. You should market that."

"actually it's not my invention my instructor just gave me a bucket of the stuff. Said I'd need it. Anyway..."



"Thing is, guys, that this stuff won't fool cameras. Or last that long. We gotta hustle. And-- wait, what is the pirate doing?" "

"I don't know." Says Fatale, looking at the twin furrows that the laser marks burned in a loopy pattern through the asphalt, through the now-bisected SLOW, PED/ sign, through a few parked cars...

"Anyway, cameras! Here's my list-" She presses a wad of paper into Sion's hand, and starts moving toward the store. "I'll rendezvous with you guys when I'm done."

Moving into the store, she uses her past experience to locate the employees lounge. Sneaking inside, she snags a Megalo-Mart vest and clipboard, and puts the vest on as she heads over to where she figures the security room to be.

Stealth! Let's see... Think I had... A plus 13 or so? Sounds right.)
[roll0]


A last minute thought strikes her, and she checks the badge on the vest. "Hello my name is..."

[Limos]

"Kathy Sue", the nametag reads as you shudder in revulsion. Femme Fatale successfully lurks her way into the security room just past the employee lounge. There is a large fat man in a security uniform eating donuts in a swivel chair just up ahead. He has not yet noticed your presence.

The security center has banks of monitors and VCR's recording footage from all over the store. Every aisle, every section, every single square foot of the building is under surveillance. You can even see your own vehicle in the parking lot on one of the monitors. If you plan to go unnoticed then the tapes will need to be destroyed.

[Venom]

Inside the Megalo-Mart Jon takes a cart and heads subconsciously heads directly for the cleaning supply aisle. I always get the one cart with the wobbly wheel... As he walks towards his destination he's completely unaware of the stares he's getting from the growing crowd of onlookers as he's too busy fighting the cart that just wants to turn left. Turning the corner he silently weeps as he takes in the awe inspiring selection. I... I think... I'll just take one of everything.

[Sliver]

After realizing that his new teammates got bruised by the crash Hong-Ya heads into the mart, takes two carts and heads over to load it with food. And meat. Not beef. Later he fills the other cart with tools and home appliances.

[Lost Demiurge]

Fatale sweeps the goggles from her forehead, pops fresh gum into her mouth, and squeals "Hiiii!"

She flounces in, and bends over in front of the guard, ostensibly looking at some of the cabling. "So, like, which camera's not tracking right? The maintenance order didn't say..."

She shifts over to look at the screens, taking out a technical looking gizmo, and standing on tiptoes to wave it at the topmost screen. "Maybe it's your Wifi..."


Bluff to do a little social engineering. +4 if he finds me attractive!
[roll0]

[Lost Demiurge]

Eh, let's hero point that.

[roll0]

[Lost Demiurge]

Argh! Freakin' roller...
1d20

Oh screw it, I gotta run in a minute anyway. Limos, please roll and adjust things accordingly.

[Limos]

[roll0]

Let's give that one last try then
EDIT: Nah, you know what. Screw that roll. It's a bad roll. Ignore it.

The security guard is taken aback by the sudden intrusion into his diabetic domain. He rubs one meaty hand across his bald dome and speaks in a surprisingly squeaky voice for such a hefty guy.

"Well look right here missy! I gotta see some kind of documentation if yer gonna be messin' about with my cameras!"

[Lost Demiurge]

"Oh! Yeah, sure, it's right here."

Fatale holds up the clipboard, and blinks in mock surprise. "Oh no!" She makes puppy dog eyes at the guard.

"Aw! She gave me the wrong one. Look, mister, Tina said I need to get this done NOW before she got back from lunch and she'd write me up if I didn't it'd be my job cause I got a first writeup because she blamed me for something that totally wasn't my fault and all I have to do is fix the slow camera anyway to synch it up with the network and if I do that it'll increase security 110%, just by multiplexing the feeds into a single malevolent entity and she's gonna come back from work early just to catch me and it's totally not my fault they gave me the wrong order!"

During the tirade, Fatale's swiped a little pepper from one of her Utility bandolier capsules, and rubbed her nose like she's going to cry. After she snorts in the pepper, she IS crying!

"Come on, please cut me a break! It's my job on the line! I'd be really, really GRATEFUL."


Bluff!
[roll0]

Again, +4 if Attractive's a feature here.

[Limos]

The security guard rubs the back of his neck awkwardly and shuffles his feet. "Well I guess I can leave the monitors for a bit. You do your job and I'm gonna go grab a cup of coffee" The guard wobbles to his feet and hands her a walkie-talkie. "If you see anything suspicious you gimme a holler, ok?"

With that he waddles out the door and leaves Femme Fatale to her chicanery.

[Lost Demiurge]

"Thanks!" Fatale cries, mopping her eyes. "I'll take care of this quick youbetcha!"

Within minutes she's shut down the cameras and yanked the tapes. She pauses and removes the hard drive from the computer as well. Never hurts to be thorough. Replacing the computer case, she considers leaving a present... Decides against it. No need to hurt the guard, already got what she needs. She DOES cut the phone line near the wall, and duct tape it back together so that it won't work.
Got about 6 ranks of craft - electronics. No need to roll, I hope?

She DOES leave a note on the desk. "Camera server rebooting. Give it 20-30, then press enter. DO NOT press enter early. Thanks! :) :) :)
-K"

Stuffing the tapes in a spare store bag, she heads out and drops the vest, badge, and clipboard back where she found them, before slinking out.
Stealthy sez...
[roll0]


Tapping the walkie-talkie in her hand, she considers it, and a smile spreads across her face... "Later." She murmurs. Good to have a backup plan.

[goblinpaladin]

Na Sióg Dubh wandered around the store like- well, like a kid in a candy store. She seemd instinctively drawn to the snack aisle, piling a basket with lollies candy, chocolate, chips, and soft drink soda, before moving along and getting the ingredients for nachos. Everyone likes nachos.

[Unkabear]

Mooageddon finds herself in Housewares. Floral towelettes did not do anything for her. No, she was feeling peckish. Mooageddon looks about to see who may be around her. A nice tender young child would be nice.

"Moo"

[Limos]

With the cameras disabled the team has free play of the Megalomart. You quickly gather your personally preferred items until your carts are bulging with the loot of many shelves laid low by your evil pilferings. All except Mooageddon of course, who is cartless. As the pan dimensional cow stomps down the candy aisle in pursuit of tasty children he attracts the attention of one of the price checkers, a barrel chested man with an all-american profile and black hair with a little twirly bit on the forehead.

The employee quickly runs in front of Mooageddon, "Woah there girl! Who let you into the store? That's a violation of employee handbook page 567, paragraph 8, line 4. 'No livestock are allowed on Megalomart premises unless they are wearing a specialized bovine undergarment'. There will be no handbook violations while Assistant Manager Gene is on the job!"

[Deca]

The Captain swept through the aisles as quickly as he could, grabbing items at random and stuffing them into the trolley, not caring that a lot of the stuff he was stealing wasn't even the food he was told to get. He didn't actually need to eat so this wasn't about getting food to survive, it was about taking for the sheer joy of taking.

[Venom]

Cake cake cake, cake cake cake, cake cake cake, Jon walks up and down the aisles of the Megalo-mart food section pushing a cart briming with cleaning supplies, talking to himself, looking for, well, cake. He over hears an employee spouting off rules on handbooks about bovines, or some such nonsense. Turning the corner he spots an eerily familiar cow in the middle of the row. 'Scuse me,, Jon reads the mans name tag, assistant manager Gene, but can you point me to where you keep your cakes? He asks without so much as batting an eye at the situation between Mooageddon and the soon to be missing assistant manager Gene.

[Limos]

"Ah yes! Megalomart prides itself on it's extensive baked goods selection! If you just go past the grains, meats, dairy, hardwood floors, toys, soft drinks, frozen foods, car repair supply, and daycare center the bakery is on your left." Gene launches into an extended speech on the need for strict regulation and rules in the running of such fine establishments as Megalomart. He makes many comparisons involving the words 'Well-oiled' and 'Synergy'.

[Sliver]

Hong-Ya looks for pets. Preferably of the guard type. A large dog or a bear.

OOC: Can I relocate some skill points to Handle Animal if I can get a dog/bear?

[Limos]

Well since you would need to take the minion skill or sidekick skill to have a pet that actually is useful for anything I'm just going to have to say no on that one. If you wanted a pet that isn't worth anything in a fight, like a Cockatoo or a Chihuahua, then that would be fine. But anything that can maul somebody costs points.

[Sliver]

It's a headquarters upgrade! I only want them to guard the place.

If the place lacks guard dogs, then Hong-Ya will pick up a large amount of cute little fluffy dogs and cats. That way nobody will suspect them! Also, an endless supply of dogs to kick when needed to prove a point. And snacks for Cow.

Is there livestock around here?

[Limos]

Of course not! There is even a special rule in the employee handbook about not having livestock on Megalomart premises.

[Sliver]

Not even of the type that does wear specialized bovine undergarment?

[Lost Demiurge]

Once clear of the employee lounge, Fatale takes care to avoid any sections which might have coffee and/or donuts. In fact, as she eyes the electronics section with a gleam in her eye, food is the farthest thing from her mind...

Five minutes later she's pushing a cart full of hardware and electronics. A Guitar Villain box pokes out of the cart, sitting next to a plasma screen TV, a Pretendo Whizz and a Raystation 6. A shiny new toolbox full of tools sits next to roofing and fix-em-up supplies, and some basic electronic, plumbing, and camping supplies round out the lot.

She pauses in the toy aisle, and picks up enough NERF to arm a small mercenary corps. Then a thought strikes her, and she picks up a couple of Life-size Inflatabuddies, a junior detective klew kit, and a Li'l stinker chemistry set along with some other useful "toys".

It's clothes and shoes after that, and she grabs a quick assortment before heading to the front of the store. Might as well grab us a place in line, she figures. This being Megalo-Mart, they'll have like one counter open...

[Venom]

Passing Femme Fatale on his way back to the bakery for some cake, Jon lets her know that Mooageddon might need a little help. Hey, that cow that came with us might need a little assistance back in the candy section. Some schmuck was laying into her about being a cow without an employee handbook, or something like that.

[Lost Demiurge]

Passing Femme Fatale on his way back to the bakery for some cake, Jon lets her know that Mooageddon might need a little help. Hey, that cow that came with us might need a little assistance back in the candy section. Some schmuck was laying into her about being a cow without an employee handbook, or something like that.

Fatale stops a minute, then grins. "The cow's an unknown quantity right now. Let's see how she cow handles herself. Sounds like she's run into management, and this oughta be good."

Pushing her shopping cart back for a second, she peeks down the aisle to watch what transpires.

[Venom]

Jon stops pushing his cart toward the cakey goodness that is cake to witness with Femme Fatale how Mooageddon handles herself against Gene, the terror that is Assistant Manager.

[Unkabear]

Mooageddon was not pleased with Gene. Quoting regulation was a fine way to become lunch.

Mooageddon takes a few steps forward coming withing a hairs distance from Gene, her nose right in his face.


"Moo"

[Lost Demiurge]

After nothing happens for a long minute, Femme Fatale shrugs and whispers to Recluse. "I think the Cow's confused." From way behind the manager, she catches the cow's eye and motions to the exit.

She nods toward the spider guy. "Hey, grab the others, it's time to check out. Make sure you get the fairy, she's our ticket through easily."

And pushing her cart, she goes and grabs a spot in line.

[Sliver]

Hong-Ya shows up leading two carts masterfully. Shoving them into their spot, he makes sure they have plenty of rope. A lot of it.

"I'll bring our ride to the front when we are close to done here." he tells Femme.

[Deca]

The Captain pushes his heavily laden trolley into view. The trolley is piled high with useless and inconsequential items that had been grabbed at random.
He quickly takes stock of the sheer amount of products the others had bought too.

"Now, I'm no big-city man with an education, but how many cars are we stealing? We can't fit all of this into just one."

[Sliver]

Hong-Ya looks at the man, then around him. "We will steal nothing. We have rope!"

[Deca]

He looks puzzled for a moment before figuring something out.

"Arrr...I getcha. We tie the stolen trollies to the back of the stolen car using the rope! Good plan!"

The Captain chuckles slightly before noticing the Assistant Manager nearby.

"Err...And by that I mean that we are going to pay for all our goods and then leave in our perfectly normal, legally acquired car that certainly IS NOT someone else's car we'd probably have to steal since we DID NOT wreck our previous car attempting to cut someone off."

The Captain stands back, pleased at his quick thinking.

[Venom]

Letting Femme Fatale know he's got it, he gives her a thumbs up. Be right back with the cake... er I mean the fairy., Jon says to the awaiting group. Leaping up to the rafters Jon hopes to get a birds eye view of the store, but it's still a daunting task, so he starts web slinging through the store heading more for the cakery than really looking for The Black Fairy.

[Lost Demiurge]

Quick note... Due to computer troubles and a busy schedule, I'll most likely be out until at least sunday night.

[Lost Demiurge]

Fatale taps her foot as she stands in line.

She glares at the lone light indicating an open lane, and at the twelve elderly grandmothers in front of her, with their bags of coupons.

But she can wait.

At least until the rest of the team is ready, that is.

Then... Well... They'll see, won't they.

A slow smile spreads across her face.

[Venom]

Jon comes strolling back with an arm, and mouth, full of cake. Cudn't fin er, he says spitting crumbs of cake everywhere. Standing there for a few minutes Jon sets the cakes into the already overflowing cart. Getting annoyed at the long line of blue hairs in front of him he spurts out, Hot bran muffins and samples of prune juice are being served in the bakery!