Pick-up lines

[ninjaneer003]

I decided to start a thread about pick-up lines. which pick-up lines do you know or have used, These lines can be ingame, outside of game. You choose.

[Delta]

"Wanna tune my mandoline?"

Because sooner or later, someone would have to do it, so I thought I'd beat them to the "sooner" :smallbiggrin:

[Thanatos 51-50]

These threads crop up every now and then.
I still feel like mentioning my personal favourite, though.
"Hey, can we pretend this is a witty pick-up line?"

[Castaras]

"Wanna tune my mandoline?"

Because sooner or later, someone would have to do it, so I thought I'd beat them to the "sooner" :smallbiggrin:

Quick! Hide behind the pile of dead bards!

[Winter_Wolf]

"You are my sun, my moon, my starlit skies! I dwell in darkness without you." It's blatant ripoff from Willow, spouted by fairy potion inebriated Madmartigan.

Otherwise I don't deal in pickup lines. The above line will work exactly once*, which is still one time more than any other pickup line I've ever heard used.

*Used it on my wife, after we were married. YMMV

[Morty]

"Babe, I'm here. You've got two wishes left".
Allegely, it worked for the guy who used it.

[Jack Squat]

I wish I was your derivative, so I could be tangent to all your curves.

Drop an ice cube and say 'Now that we've broken the ice, my name is...'

Want to go back to my place and practice some non-euclidean geometry?

I wish I were sine squared and you were cosined squared, because together we could be one.

If I were to ask you out, would your answer be the same as the answer to this question?

What would you do for a klondike bar?

[Adlan]

Hello, you're pretty, my name's....

That's worked a few times, being direct and forward usually works, and if not, at least dosn't get a drink thrown in your face.

Hey Doll, come and talk to me, I'm from another planet, only works on hitchers.

[Xallace]

"What's your AC?" You can probably guess the rest.

The only line that's ever worked for me was: "So I just realized we're flirting. Wanna move on to dating?"

[Cleverdan22]

I suppose Barney Stinson's playbook is worth mentioning here. Especially the Ted Mosby: "I got left at the altar."

[Asta Kask]

"You shine brighter than the two suns of Tattoine."

[arguskos]

What would you do for a klondike bar?
That's a good one.

Also, someone needs to reference Zap Brannigan here. :smallcool:

[Flickerdart]

Lord Flashheart would be a better reference.

[Sliver]

One that I liked is "Will you give me the same answer for my next question as you will for this one?" *goes on to ask number/on a date/w/e*

[Thajocoth]

"Hey"
<Wait for return greeting>
"How've you been?"
<Wait for answer and return question>
"Pretty good. <Comment about something regarding her, usually a compliment in the form of a question, to try to shift into a conversation>"
<A few minutes into conversing, or when the conversation goes dead>
"We should definitely go out sometime. Here's my business card. That's my cell phone number right there. Do you have a phone number?"
<If obtained>
"When would be a good time to call?"

[Eldan]

Lord Flashheart would be a better reference.

"Hey girls! Look at my machinery!"

[Telonius]

Sometimes the best line isn't a line at all, it's a question.

"Really? That's fascinating, how does that work?"

Invitations for the object of your affection to keep talking work fairly well too.

"I'd love to hear more about that."
"Hey, I'm going to get (another drink, some snacks, etc), Want to come along? You can tell me more about it as we go, this is really fascinating."

The idea is that people love to talk more than they love to listen. I can't find the exact quote, and I'm probably butchering this: but a famous woman was talking with two politicians, the majority leader and the minority leader. When asked about them afterwards, she said that the minority leader talked like he was the most interesting person in the room. The majority leader talked like she was the most interesting person in the room.

[LCR]

Lord Flashheart would be a better reference.

Ask and ye shall receive.

[Starscream]

One Dilbert strip featured the title character using a supercomputer to formulate the most effective pickup line ever.

Apparently it's "Hello, I'm Mel Gibson. Did you see a dingo-dog come by here with my shirt?"

[Don Julio Anejo]

I suppose Barney Stinson's playbook is worth mentioning here. Especially the Ted Mosby: "I got left at the altar."
Me personally? I prefer the scubadiver.

[Player_Zero]

If I were an enzyme I would be DNA helicase so I could unzip your genes/jeans.

[Fallbot]

I have an ex-boyfriend that swears by this;

"Did you know mosquito repellent doesn't actually repel mosquitoes? It makes you invisible to them!"

(He didn't use that line on me)

[arguskos]

If I were an enzyme I would be DNA helicase so I could unzip your genes/jeans.
THAT IS AMAZING. :smallbiggrin:

[SDF]

If I were an enzyme I would be DNA helicase so I could unzip your genes/jeans.

But, if you are dealing with anyone that understood/was equally witty they would make some remark about you being denatured. Or call you a freak and leave. :smalltongue:

Pickup lines always seemed way to cheesy to work. And, I always questioned the quality of person that they would eventually work on. I don't use them. Honestly I always thought you were better off subtly insulting the other person.

[Dogmantra]

One that I liked is "Will you give me the same answer for my next question as you will for this one?" *goes on to ask number/on a date/w/e*
"Hmm... maaaaybeee". :smalltongue:

[Player_Zero]

Pickup lines always seemed way to cheesy to work. And, I always questioned the quality of person that they would eventually work on. I don't use them. Honestly I always thought you were better off subtly insulting the other person.

Holy hell! I must be the smoothest Casanova ever!

[Mystic Muse]

"Hey, there's something wrong with my phone. your number's not in it."

I don't advise anybody to actually use this.

[snoopy13a]

"Babe, I'm here. You've got two wishes left".
Allegely, it worked for the guy who used it.

I like that one.

Pick-up lines can work if they are funny and not insulting. However, simply saying hi usually works just as well.

[Rutskarn]

Holy hell! I must be the smoothest Casanova ever!

You know damn well you're a heartbreaker, Zero.

My favorite:

Are you now, or have you ever been, a member of the communist party?

[Pyrian]

One Dilbert strip...Another Dilbert pick-up line: "Criticism completes me."

My usual: "Hi, mind if I join you for a few minutes?"

Tempting: "I'm sure your eyes are lovely, I'll get to them in a minute."

[Starscream]

Another Dilbert pick-up line: "Criticism completes me."

And another: "I always wanted to work in a big fabric covered box. I'm living proof that dreams come true." Although this one didn't work. He later on tells Dogbert "Turns out women don't like winners, either."

[WarBrute]

I got this from the comic Three panel soul.

"Excuse me do you have an immovable place to stand? Because I have a lever of sufficient length and I'd like to make you feel the earth move."

[ninjaneer003]

just found these and thought they were pretty good/funny.

"Damn, girl, you must be a hollow. You make my zanpaku-to go bankai."

"I think my heart just lagged."

"By looking at you I can tell you're 36-25-36, which by the way are all perfect squares."

[Orzel]

"I'm having coffee. You coming?"

"I'm having steak on our date. What are you having?"

"Choose 3 numbers. Choose wisely because if I don't win the lottery, you owe me a date."

"See that guy over there. That's my friend. If you don't go on a date with me, I'm beating him up."

"Oh, I know where that is. Follow me."

And my favorite to use...

"May I guess your name? C'mon I'm an expert at this. Okay, if I guess wrong , I'll take you to lunch. Is it... (insert ridiculous name here)? Damn. Saturday good for you."

[Winter_Wolf]

"You wanna go bowling?" Laugh if you want, but it scored me a date with a really cute girl. As it turns out it was league night so we ended up going to the coffee shop across the way.

The second date was more traditional.
Me: "Hey let's go out."
Her: "Just don't say 'bowling.'"
Me: "No, I was thinking more like dinner and a movie."
I somehow managed to convince her to see Romeo Must Die over Erin Brockovich. I think my exact words were, "Nah, I wanna watch the Jet Li movie." If you've ever watched Pulp Fiction, you'd have an idea how the timeline of the date played out. We had dessert before the movie, and dinner after the movie, meaning the only thing open was Jack in the Box. At least the nightcap came at the end of the night like it's supposed to.

Just remember this: when you say something like "dinner and a movie" to a person, you might want to clarify in advance if you mean as a romantic date or as a couple of buddies going out for fun. My alter ego is Captain Oblivious, because I totally did NOT pick up on the signs. And I have gotten s*** for it from everyone I've ever told that story to ever since. I still enjoy telling the story because it's good for a laugh and that girl will always have a special place as "the one who got away--because I was looking for a friend instead of a girlfriend". :smalltongue:

[Mr White]

My favourite but probably unusable if you want your pick-up line to actualy work: "How do you like your eggs in the morning? Fertilised?"

This one worked on me: "Are we going to make out or what?"
But don't feel bad, we're still together after 11 years and I still tease her with it.

[Darklord Bright]

I've always been rather partial to "You'll do." even just a simple, "Nice shoes."

If you don't have a sense of humour, you aren't worth the trouble for an elaborate pick-up line anyways! :smalltongue:

[AslanCross]

A bunch of groaners that are guaranteed to fail:

"OMG! Did you feel the earthquake?...oh, it was just you...'coz you rock my world."

"If you were a laser you'd be set to 'stunning.'"

Grab the tag on the nape area of the girl's shirt and peek at it. Shake your head and mutter "I knew it." If she asks why, tell her "I knew you were made in Heaven."

"I think I have to call the police. you just stole my heart."

[faerwain]

I'm such a lousy lover, you have to experience it for yourself.

[Asta Kask]

Fortunately (http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/scotland/4909322.stm) there are scientists studying these questions.

[Pika...]

"You smell like a healthy female..."
~One of my Kobold PCs

[Dr.Epic]

"If you don't date me I won't give you the antidote."
"What antidote?"
"To the poison you just drank."

[Altair_the_Vexed]

"Oh, hello again. Hang on, I'll budge up and make room."

It was a crowded bar. I'd seen her earlier that day in the queue for Star Wars at the cinema.

We've been married nearly three years now.

[Jack Squat]

All this could be yours for one low, low price!

*dip your hand in a glass of water, and touch your shirt and theirs* What's say you and I get out of these wet clothes.

If we were on a keyboard, it'd have to be dvorak, 'cause then U and I would be next to each other.

I hope I'm not being forward, but do you mind if I chew on your butt?



"If you don't date me I won't give you the antidote."
"What antidote?"
"To the poison you just drank."

similar:

Could you tell me what this rag smells like?

[Capt Spanner]

Here's what I do:

1. I use a service to choose my own home phone number and make sure it is prime.

2. I use a service to choose my mobile number and make sure it is prime.

3. I multiply the two numbers together and memorise the result.

4. When providing my number, I instead write:

"Mobile number x Home number = [RESULT]"

5. If she calls, she's a keeper.

[Pyrian]

If we were on a keyboard, it'd have to be dvorak, 'cause then U and I would be next to each other.The "U" and the "I" are next to each other on a QWERTY keyboard, too. :smallconfused:

[Rutskarn]

The "U" and the "I" are next to each other on a QWERTY keyboard, too. :smallconfused:

Jack's clearly not relationship material.

[Player_Zero]

Here's what I do:
1. I use a service to choose my own home phone number and make sure it is prime.
2. I use a service to choose my mobile number and make sure it is prime.
3. I multiply the two numbers together and memorise the result.
4. When providing my number, I instead write:
"Mobile number x Home number = [RESULT]"
5. If she calls, she's a keeper.

She's also a magician.

[Rutskarn]

She's also a magician.

I don't know about you, but I don't date any other kind.
Yes. I can safely say that I have never dated any woman who didn't have magical powers.

[Starscream]

I don't know about you, but I don't date any other kind.
Yes. I can safely say that I have never dated any woman who didn't have magical powers.

Well that opens up a whole new list of possible pickup lines.

"Hey baby, ever been sawed in half the right way?"
"Yes, that's a rabbit in my pocket. But he's happy to see you."
"Wanna see my wand?"
"I do believe...this is your phone number?"
"Just because I can escape from handcuffs, doesn't mean I always want to."
"?annataZ ekil kool uoy taht uoy llet reve enoynA"

[Cleverdan22]

"My two favorite things are commitment and changing myself."
Cookie for the reference (and hidden text)

[Starscream]

"My two favorite things are commitment and changing myself."
Cookie for the reference (and hidden text)

"Psst. Does he have a brother?"

Love that episode.

[TheThan]

Guaranteed failures:

You know, underneath all these clothes… I’m naked.

I’d tell you that I like your body, but you’ll just hold it against me.

[Jack Squat]

The "U" and the "I" are next to each other on a QWERTY keyboard, too. :smallconfused:

Would you believe it still worked?


Jack's clearly not relationship material.

I've been trying to tell people that for years.

[Kislath]

How am I? Why, I'm fantastic! You should try me sometime.

Stop, Drop & Roll baby! You are on FIRE!

Whoa! I think you may well be the prettiest girl I've ever seen, and yes, I DO get out much.

Oh EE, ooh ah-ah, ting tang, wallawalla-bing bang, oh ee ooh ooh ah ah ting tang wallawalla bing bang!


As It happens, I've actually tried all of these. Only one of them actually worked, but boy, did it ever work!

[Pyrian]

Oh EE, ooh ah-ah, ting tang, wallawalla-bing bang, oh ee ooh ooh ah ah ting tang wallawalla bing bang!
...
As It happens, I've actually tried all of these. Only one of them actually worked, but boy, did it ever work!It was the last one, wasn't it? :smallwink:

[Dienekes]

I spent a day using all of these (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JmB2NGpoOIU) on women.

None of them worked.

[Eric Tolle]

"Right! Remember to bend from the knees and keep your back straight...careful, don't drop it! OK, 1, 2, 3, LIFT!"

[Eldan]

"Right! Remember to bend from the knees and keep your back straight...careful, don't drop it! OK, 1, 2, 3, LIFT!"

Win. Absolute win.

[Dr.Epic]

"Go out with me or I'll sue you."

[onthetown]

I'm a fiddler. I used these on my guy-friends before and it only caused copious amounts of laughter:

"Hey guys, I'd fiddle you any day."

"Did you know fiddlers are great with their fingers?"

"Who wants their bow tightened first?"

"Can you help me tune my G string?"

They're horrible. :smallamused:

[Zeb The Troll]

"Ditch the zero, go home with a hero."

[AkazilliaDeNaro]

my brother told me this one
you: Hey wanna come over to my place, watch a movie, eat pizza, f***?
her: What?!
you: What, you dont like pizza?

[Reshbj]

Pointing and yelling "AFFECTION!"

It doesn't work so well in practice:
Me: AFFECTION!
Her: INSPECTION! *thinks*
Me: ...
Her: REJECTION!
Me: DEJECTION!
Her: IMPERFECTION!
Me: OBJECTION!
Her: CORRECTION, PERFECTION!
Me: SELF-REFLECTION!
Her: PLATONIC AFFECTION!

A cookie to whoever gets the joke.

[Anuan]

I'm a fiddler. I used these on my guy-friends before and it only caused copious amounts of laughter:

"Hey guys, I'd fiddle you any day."

"Did you know fiddlers are great with their fingers?"

"Who wants their bow tightened first?"

"Can you help me tune my G string?"

They're horrible. :smallamused:

...I have to admit I'd probably fall for these. XD

[CoffeeIncluded]

Pointing and yelling "AFFECTION!"

It doesn't work so well in practice:
Me: AFFECTION!
Her: INSPECTION! *thinks*
Me: ...
Her: REJECTION!
Me: DEJECTION!
Her: IMPERFECTION!
Me: OBJECTION!
Her: CORRECTION, PERFECTION!
Me: SELF-REFLECTION!
Her: PLATONIC AFFECTION!

A cookie to whoever gets the joke.

Ace Attorney?

[skywalker]

Pointing and yelling "AFFECTION!"

It doesn't work so well in practice:
Me: AFFECTION!
Her: INSPECTION! *thinks*
Me: ...
Her: REJECTION!
Me: DEJECTION!
Her: IMPERFECTION!
Me: OBJECTION!
Her: CORRECTION, PERFECTION!
Me: SELF-REFLECTION!
Her: PLATONIC AFFECTION!

A cookie to whoever gets the joke.

Ouch!

My personal favorite:

*sit next to girl/boy*
If you were a pirate, would you have your parrot on this shoulder
*tap near shoulder*
or this one
*reach around shoulders to tap far shoulder. "accidentally" leave hand in place on far shoulder*

No, I've never seen it work on normal, unattached humans.

[Winter_Wolf]

^
That sounds like a recipe for violent physical retribution. Like a hit to the groin, stomach, face, or all three at once.

[bluewind95]

^
That sounds like a recipe for violent physical retribution. Like a hit to the groin, stomach, face, or all three at once.

To be fair, quite a few of the ones mentioned in the entire thread sound that way to me. :smalltongue:

[RandomNPC]

I do this with my wife on game day once in a while, all it ever gets me is swatted with whatever she's holding.

Scoop her up in my arms, holding her sideways, then start walking towards the bedroom, then say
"Okay, I know we're here to game, but can you guys give me a half hour or maybe forty-five minuets?"

If anyone says something like "Thats all the time you need?" you just need to remind them they came over to game, so you've gotta be quick about it.

[ninjaneer003]

I do this with my wife on game day once in a while, all it ever gets me is swatted with whatever she's holding.

Scoop her up in my arms, holding her sideways, then start walking towards the bedroom, then say
"Okay, I know we're here to game, but can you guys give me a half hour or maybe forty-five minuets?"

If anyone says something like "Thats all the time you need?" you just need to remind them they came over to game, so you've gotta be quick about it.

Classy very classy.

[Octopus Jack]

If I were to ask you out, would your answer be the same as the answer to this question?

I am going to use this one very soon... Wish me luck :smallbiggrin:

[Dogmantra]

"I seem to have lost my phone number. Can I borrow yours?"

[Dr. Bath]

I FIND YOU VAGUELY ATTRACTIVE AT THIS POINT IN TIME. THIS MAY OF COURSE BE INFLUENCED BY FACTOR UNRELATED TO YOUR APPEARANCE SUCH AS MY CURRENT INTOXICATION AND DESPARATION LEVELS.

30% of the time, works every time.

[onasuma]

Im suprised /\'s wasnt "Hey babe, Im a doctor (on the internet)"

[Cobalt]

“Does this smell like chloroform to you?”


May or may not end with you going to jail.


And no, it's not the same thing as:


Could you tell me what this rag smells like?

Mine's more specific.

[2xMachina]

Offers drink: "Does this taste like GHB to you?"

^ More 'direct'?

[Xzeno]

"So how do you deal with the material nature of human consciousness?"

I try it next month.

[Jokasti]

Can you solve this for me? I'm having trouble. 5i/x < 15u/x
Note: only works over teh tubez.

[Raish]

"Wanna go Dutch on a Kid?"
"Does this rag smell like chloroform(sp?)?"

[Bor the Barbarian Monk]

"Baby...What's say you and me go back to my place...I'll dim the lights, turn on some soft, romantic music, and open a bottle of wine...we'll get comfortable in front of the fireplace...and then I'll put on my Spider-Man pajamas and we'll do things I'm going to tell my friends we did anyway!" :smallbiggrin:

[RabbitHoleLost]

"You shine brighter than the two suns of Tattoine."
Lets head back to my apartment, and I'll show you what a real Jedi can do with a lightsaber.

Wanna feel the Force?