View Full Version : Good sayings for a rogue

2010-05-19, 11:52 PM
obvious themesteal

ranging from: "I haven't seen such filth since mary-beth started hooking" to "yes, these kind of pillars can be traced back to the old dwarven Thunderhead clan who first started experimenting with this specific supportsystem."

2010-05-20, 12:03 AM
Remember The First Rule of Acquisition: Acquire (at least) one of everything.

2010-05-20, 12:04 AM
Depends on how many ranks in Perform (Comedy) you have.

2010-05-20, 12:04 AM
*stabbity stab stab*

"…What, should I be speaking?"

2010-05-20, 12:09 AM
"Why are you all looking at me like that? Honestly, I had nothing to do with it!"
"What does it matter where the information came from? It gets the job done, right."
"Why does everyone assume I stole their things? I stole half of those things for you in the first place!"

Chump Party Member: "Something's not right here..."
Rogue: "Of course something's not right here. If everything were all right, I'd be in jail and you wouldn't need a friend who picks locks."

... Appropriately, most of those would require Bluff checks unless used sarcastically. Honestly, though, Rogues are probably the most diversely interested class in the game after Fighters and Clerics (I count them as moreso than Factotums, who are really a whole bunch of people who individually have very diffuse areas of interest but are largely similar to each other). You could be anything from a petty thief to a spy to a sneaky Jerk With a Heart of Gold to a secretly evil assassin paid to infiltrate the party to an Indiana Jones-style explorer. It's not like Paladins, who have a set area of interest and moral code. There's only a very few things we can say that would work for even a decently large minority of potential Rogues.

Admiral Squish
2010-05-20, 12:13 AM
The seven rules of highly effective pirates. These include:
'Pillage, THEN burn'
'There is no such thing as overkill, only, 'open fire' and 'I need to reload''
'A little trust goes a long way. The less you use, the further you go'
'The enemy of my enemy is my enemy's enemy, nothing more.'

2010-05-20, 12:14 AM
hence the range
and hence better quotes then all the stupid im gonna kill you powertripping wizard ones.

2010-05-20, 12:17 AM
Rogue: "Of course something's not right here. If everything were all right, I'd be in jail and you wouldn't need a friend who picks locks."Solid gold. :smallbiggrin:

"Why always me?" -rogue when sent in to check a potentially trapped/full of enemies corridor/door/room/cave.

2010-05-20, 12:22 AM
"Spies are not trained to fight fair. Spies are trained to win."

"Corporations need spies just like governments do. Or course, they’re not called “spies,” they’re called security consultants. What they really are of course, is mercenaries."

"Guns make you stupid, but duct tape makes you smart."

"You can’t choose your intelligence sources. Might be a heroin smuggler, a dictator, or your mom. You go where the information is."

"All right, the key to fighting a group is taking out its leader. Take out its leader- oh, they’ll all leave you alone. It’s bully psychology. Works with third-world military units as well."

All from Burn Notice's great Michael Weston.

2010-05-20, 12:24 AM
"Look behind you at that distraction!"
"I'm sorry, were you using that kidney?"
"I'm a time traveler. I point and laugh at archaeologists."

That last one is a bit more appropriate for Doctors, actually.

2010-05-20, 12:35 AM
Ironically, my rogue is also my paladin (odd build), so here's some of his more rogueish moments.

*shoots bad guy in the hand* "Hey jackass, nice catch."

"(talking to trickery devotion simulacrum of himself) Those traps are awfully tricky. I'm not sure I got them all. And I'm far too pretty to die, so you can go first."
"No way. They say beauty is fleeting, and I'll be around for a far more fleeting moment than you. You go."
(other character: "This is retarded."

"I only pinched his pocket because I saw him pinch hers!"
"No, you only pinched his pocket because she's attractive and seems like the type to appreciate your company. Otherwise you wouldn't have also taken enough for a dinner for two at that fancy place."
"You hurt me sir!"
"Did you get her adress?"
"Pickin' her up at 7. And even if she were ugly, I am supposed to uphold the laws and get her wallet back. It just might be by mail instead of in person."
"You're a horrible paladin."
"But an excellent rogue."

Me: "Excuse me ma'am, I know this may sound a little rude, but your sword told me to take it from you."
Brass Dragon: "What are you, schizo or something?"
Me: "Sometimes I wish I were. It would explain these horrible other personalities that keep whispering in my ear." (trickery simulacrum appears.)
Sim: "I say we kill her and take all of her stuff!"
Me: "No! We musn't! That would be wrong!"
Sim imitating sword: "Doooooo iiiiiiiiiiiit."
Me: "Not you too!"
Brass Dragon: "OK you can have it if you'll go away."

Mystic Muse
2010-05-20, 12:38 AM
obvious themesteal


2010-05-20, 12:39 AM
SMITE PLAGIARIST!"You can't see me!"

Lycan 01
2010-05-20, 12:50 AM
"Don't look at me, look at the distraction!"


"To be a rogue, you must be delicate. You must have a delicate step, lest you walk loudly. You must have a delicate touch, lest you break your lockpick. And you must have delicate aim, lest you miss the aorta and leave them alive long enough to scream."

"Your gold? Sir, you are mistaken. This is my gold..."

2010-05-20, 12:55 AM
*The sound of the wind*
*Your life-blood bleeding on the floor*
*The sound of the wind*

2010-05-20, 01:13 AM
I play rogues as spies who waltz through buildings like they belong.

"Hello fellow guard, It's time to change shifts. I'm here to relieve you."

"There's been a break in! They need your help at [distraction]!"

"I'm an emissary from [place], here to see [important person]"

"Oh, this plate? You would not want it, it is too expensive. Look at these exquisite designs by [Famed artist]. I bring these all the way from [place] and was planning to sell them to [your rival]. I am sure you would not want them."

At this point, I'm just going to quote Thank you for Smoking.
Joey Naylor: Dad, why is American government the best government?
Nick Naylor: Because of our endless appeal system.

"My job requires a certain... moral flexibility."

Nick Naylor: My point is that you have to think for yourself. If your parents told you that chocolate was dangerous would you take their word for it?
[Children say no]
Nick Naylor: Exactly! So perhaps instead of acting like sheep when it comes to cigarettes you should find out for yourself.

2010-05-20, 01:34 AM
"If you find yourself in a fair fight, you didn't plan well enough."

"The key is to be light. Light heart, light smile, light step, light touch, light fingers."

"Property? No, no, you've got it all wrong, see. People don't own things. They just hold on to them until I drop by to pick them up."

"You don't want to mess with me. See, watch what I can do with this dagger." *flips it up in the air, stabs with the other one*. "Oh, sorry, guess you weren't watching the right one. Care to try again?" *catches first dagger, stabs again* "Ooh, got it wrong that time too. Third time lucky?"

2010-05-20, 02:05 AM
"Some people in this city are too rich for their own good. Lucky they have me to give them a hand."

"Ah, early morning mist. All respectable people should be in bed now. Time for us disreputable types to get to work."

"If I knew being Sheriff paid that well, I would've changed careers a long time ago."
Actually would't it to be lot more simple to me to just give next links: Garrets sound files: TG (http://thief.wikia.com/wiki/TG_Sound_Folder:_Garrett), T2 (http://thief.wikia.com/wiki/T2_Sound_Folder:_Garrett) and TDS (http://thief.wikia.com/wiki/TDS_Sound_Folder:_garrett).

2010-05-20, 02:18 AM
*going through the King's pockets...* "What? I'm looking for clues."

2010-05-20, 02:19 AM
Nothing, because the best rogues don't speak.

2010-05-20, 02:21 AM
Ah, the nightlife of an Elven Rogue: 4 hours of trance, and 4 hours of skulduggery!

2010-05-20, 02:27 AM
Can't believe no one's said this:

"It's only illegal if you get caught."

EDIT: Another quote I improv'd for a game

"You sought to harm me. For that, I took away your eye.

Know this: Speak of what has happened here to anyone, and I will take away everything else. I will take away your family. I will take away your friends. I will take away your pets, your allies, every single thing you hold dear to your heart.

I will take away your body. I will take away your mind. And then, I will take away your life. I'm a thief. I can do that."

2010-05-20, 02:44 AM
"No matter how mighty, but a dagger in your back still cramps your style."

Kurald Galain
2010-05-20, 02:56 AM
From The Munchkin Files,

On encountering a dragon...

...Real Roleplayers con it out of all of its treasure, leaving it (and the DM) thinking it got the better deal.

2010-05-20, 03:15 AM
"Give up the shines and no one gets hurt"

"Did I do that?"

2010-05-20, 03:32 AM
*Mosquito's Bite skill trick*
"You're already dead."

The New Bruceski
2010-05-20, 04:06 AM
*looks at all the babbling going on*

"Save the chatter for the whorehouse, lads, and you may manage to still be pretty enough for a discount."

2010-05-20, 04:32 AM
Remember The First Rule of Acquisition: Acquire (at least) one of everything.
Isn't the First Rule "Once you have their money, you never give it back."? Most rules (http://memory-alpha.org/wiki/Rules_of_Acquisition) do make good rogue sayings, though.

"The bigger the smile, the sharper the knife."

2010-05-20, 04:39 AM
Nothing, because the best rogues don't speak.

I'll go for this or *says nothing while stealing your wallet"

2010-05-20, 04:43 AM
as the halfling in my campaign says as soon as there is trouble brewing: Let's cheese it! *runs*

"well, heh, looks like I have to go on a killing spree."

2010-05-20, 04:46 AM
*looks at all the babbling going on*

"Save the chatter for the whorehouse, lads, and you may manage to still be pretty enough for a discount."Amateurs go around toting daggers when you can do much better with a smile and a convincing piece of paper.

2010-05-20, 05:38 AM
"Look behind you at that distraction!".

That reminds me of our bard's famous "Distraction Tango".

2010-05-20, 09:57 AM
What, no one has quoted Douglas Adams yet?

"Look, property is theft, right? Therefore, theft is property. Therefore, this spaceship is now mine."

(from memory)

2010-05-20, 10:08 AM
"If you find yourself in a fair fight, you didn't plan well enough."

Is this from anywhere or are you just brilliant?

2010-05-20, 10:11 AM
"Cover Me!"
Then go run and hide.

If you get the advantage, come back and be totally heroic.

2010-05-20, 10:12 AM
"Render unto Me what is Mine, and unto the others whatever the hell is left over"

2010-05-20, 10:17 AM
"There you go, the trap on the door is disarmed. But I think I heard something on the other side, we'd better send in the Barbarian first."

2010-05-20, 10:23 AM

"You'd be surprised by the things people "drop" and the frequency with which they are "dropped" given their high monetary values.

Coincidentally, I manage to find a lot of "dropped" things."
-Thief, 8-Bit Theater.

"Hey, where'd you get all this stuff?
I walked in with it."
-Also Thief. About the entirety of the castle's valuables. In response to the guard's question.

"Didn't the pirates take everything already?
They left everything that was nailed down. I didn't."
-Thief again. Really, just look through Thief's lines for a LOT of good ones for a rogue.

2010-05-20, 10:30 AM
Pardon me, fair ladies, but I must relieve you of these excess valuables, for I am the Singing Bandit! (http://www.airshipentertainment.com/growfcomic.php?date=20100411)

2010-05-20, 03:13 PM
Cleric: Sorry, but you'll have to leave your weapons here to enter the inner sanctum. Rules are rules.

Cleric: *Gives the guards his sword*

Barbarian *Reluctantly hands over his greataxe*

Rogue: ...Go on ahead, this might take a while.

*Inside the inner sanctum. Two hours later.*

Rogue: *Whistles happily, for she still has two dozen daggers on her person*

2010-05-20, 03:27 PM
"I'm terribly sorry. I seem to have dropped my dagger into your chest seventeen times. Clumsy me."