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View Full Version : Cracked.com Favorite Jokes


Zexion
2010-05-24, 11:32 PM
There have to be SOME playgrounders that read Cracked.com. So, this is where we can post our favorite jokes. They can be from articles, videos, or the craptions, but please try to keep them appropriate for the playground! :smallbiggrin:
I'll start:


"Because apparently Japan won't stop until they've beaten us at everything we're good at. Next up: school shootings. Damn you Japan! That one was ours!"
-Michael Swaim, Episode 27 of Cracked TV


"Gladstone: You see, Johnny, the eyes are nature's candy shop, and when they are exposed to blunt trauma, tiny messages are sent to the brain, telling them to release sweets!
Johnny: Wow.
Gladstone: And that's not all. Once I poked myself in the eye so hard, my divorced parents got back together!
Johnny: Really?
Gladstone: No, that's silly. But it did bring my dead kitten back to life!
Johnny: Wow. Can I have some of that candy?
Gladstone: No. Now run along. And take this fork with you."
-Gladtone, an early episode of Hate By Numbers
The Demented One
2010-05-25, 01:38 AM
"Army of wolfmen, Janet."
Maximum Zersk
2010-05-25, 01:49 AM
There are quite a few. May take me a while to find one.
Lyndworm
2010-05-25, 01:52 AM
A hairless, vacant expression, a trunk full of disguises, a bolo tie--without question, Hugo is a man of a thousand serial murders.
One of my favorites, but there are way too many things to list.
Fri
2010-05-25, 02:04 AM
too many to list. I spend too much time in cracked.com

Who's your favourite collumnist by the way?
Icewalker
2010-05-25, 02:18 AM
"...and so on until they'll have to change Disneyland's nickname to "the Grizzly Beariest place on Earth (And Also Some Wolves)."
Athaniar
2010-05-25, 03:34 AM
Can't recall any specific joke at the moment, but there are many ones that are really funny (and also many ones that aren't). Will check for good ones when I get home.
Zexion
2010-05-25, 08:45 AM
too many to list. I spend too much time in cracked.com

Who's your favourite collumnist by the way?
I like Gladstone and Swaim's videos, and Bucholz has some good columns about Canada, which I live in.
Tyrandar
2010-05-25, 10:40 AM
http://www.cracked.com/blog/if-penis-enlargement-ads-told-the-truth/