View Full Version : Does the Unconquered Sun Need A Most Divine Therapist? [Exalted]

2010-05-25, 08:25 AM
Inspired by the latest Ink Monkeys postings:

Is it just me, or does anyone else think that the cosmic embodiment of Virtue himself, Sol Invictus, has a lot of symptoms of chronic depression?

I mean, he enshrines a Solar he liked in his old cabin in the Daystar, he tried himself for treason, he blasted the pictures of his own Exalts in a rage (although if he was aiming at Desus, it's understandable), and he doesn't seem to particularly care that the Ursuptation is one of the monorail's favorite memories.

That, and there's his past, which not only includes, well, the entire First Age, but the fact that one of his childhood tests was the Ebon Dragon's Oblivion Molestation Closet.

Please note that this is a thread about him needing therapy. Convincing him that he needs it-or at least, admit to needing it out loud-is a whole 'nother can of beans.

But anyway, does anyone think that Glorious Solar Comfy Couch and a trained psychologist would be a good thing for Sol's sanity and ability to function?

2010-05-25, 10:29 AM
Sol's already the best psychologist in Creation though, he can do the therapy by himself.

2010-05-25, 10:58 AM
You forgot to mention he now shuts himself away from his previous life and responsibilities to play the games of divinity.

Poor UCS.

2010-05-25, 11:37 AM
I'm not exactly sure who the Unconquered Sun is, but below I've taken the chance to write up a semi-comical semi-structured interview with a given generic deity, looking to see if they are indeed depressed.

My questions are vaguely based on the American DSM IV-TR's criteria for a major depressive episode, but I myself am not a trained, licensed therapist (yet), so take my point of view with lots of salt.

*Takes out pen and paper*

Thank you for coming to my office today Mr. / Mrs. / ??? [Deity name here]. I understand that you're wondering whether you're feeling depressed. I can ask you a set of simple questions to see whether you are indeed in need of assistance.

Please Begin.

Oh. Thank you... Eh hem... Do you feel "sad" Mr. Deity?

I don't feel anything at all

Oh my... Uh... Thank you... Do you find that your eating habits have changed recently?

I don't eat anything, ever... I used to eat, just to pass the time... but nowadays, I don't find that appealing.

I see... and how is your sleeping pattern?

I haven't been able to sleep in millenia

Do you feel constantly fatigued?

There is no rest for one such as I... Constant vigilance is imperative... against the forces of evil

Have you always been successful against evil? Does your lack of perfection make you feel guilty? Please don't smite me, I'm just a doctor!


Denying it won't make you feel any better Mr. Deity...

I will smite you for your impertinence!

Such rage... that's not a ---

The end.

2010-05-25, 11:47 AM
Does your lack of perfection make you feel guilty?

The ironing is delicious.