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View Full Version : Stupid Monsters (coverted to 4e)! (feedback please)



Chainsaw Hobbit
2010-05-25, 08:56 PM
After reading this (http://www.headinjurytheater.com/article73.htm) I wanted to convert some of them to 4e for the fun of it.
The sad part: Someone got paid to make these.

Please PM me feedback.

We have here: The Sea Lion!

http://img693.imageshack.us/img693/2532/ddbeastssealion.jpg (http://img693.imageshack.us/i/ddbeastssealion.jpg/)

Sea Lion Level 6 Soldier
Large natural beast XP 250
Initiative +6 Senses Perception +11
HP 72; Bloodied 36
AC 22; Fortitude 22; Reflex 17; Will 15
Speed 4 , Swim 8

TRAITS
Aquatic Hunter (no action; at-will)
While underwater the Sea Lion has a +2 bonus to attacks and damage.

STANDARD ACTIONS
m Claw (standard; at-will)
Attack: Melee 1 (1 target); +13 vs AC
Hit: 1d10 + 4 Damage and the target is marked (save ends).
M Bite (standard; at-will)
Marked targets only
Attack: Melee 1 (1 target); +13 vs AC
Hit: 1d10 + 4 Damage and ongoing 5 damage (save ends).

Alignment Unaligned Languages
Str 19 (+7) Dex 13 (+4) Wis 16 (+6)
Con 16 (+6) Int 4 (+0) Cha 10 (+3)

I quote from "Celebrating 30 years of very stupid monsters"
"If you guessed that you were looking at a "Sea Lion", then you indeed possess the cleverness of a seven-year-old. When I see things like this, I seriously think that it had to have been included on a dare. Either that or some random kindergarten class got to visit the office when it came time to create new monsters. Even worse, the Dungeons and Dragons people refused to give up on a bad idea...but at least they admit that "Sea Lion" is just one of the most retarded names out there. How can they admit this?"

More coming soon!

Chainsaw Hobbit
2010-05-25, 09:06 PM
I now give you: The Duckbunny!

http://img534.imageshack.us/img534/6866/ddduckbunnydearlord.jpg (http://img534.imageshack.us/i/ddduckbunnydearlord.jpg/)

Duckbunny Level 1 Minion Skirmisher
Tiny natural beast XP 25
Initiative +5 Senses Perception +1; low-light vision
HP 1; a missed attack never damages a minion.
AC 15; Fortitude 12; Reflex 14; Will 13
Speed 7

STANDARD ACTIONS
m Leap (standard; at-will)
Attack: Melee 1 (1 target); +6 vs AC
Attack: 3 Damage and the Duckbunny shifts 2 squares.

Alignment Unaligned Languages
Skills Acrobatics +8, Athletics +3
Str 7 (2) Dex 16 (+3) Wis 13 (+1)
Con 10 (+0) Int 3 (4) Cha 7 (2)

I quote from "Celebrating 30 years of very stupid monsters"
":sound of brain imploding:"

Chainsaw Hobbit
2010-05-25, 09:34 PM
Feast your eyes on: The Owlephant!

http://img44.imageshack.us/img44/2706/ddowlephant.jpg

Owlephant Level 11 Elite Brute
Huge fey beast XP 1,200
Initiative +6 Senses Perception +6
HP 282; Bloodied 141
AC 23; Fortitude 24; Reflex 23; Will 23
Saving Throws +2
Speed 8
Action Points 1

TRAITS
Threatening Reach
The Owlephant can make opportunity attacks against enemies within 2 squares of it.

STANDARD ACTIONS
m Slam (standard; at-will)
Attack: Melee 2 (1 target); +14 vs AC
Hit: 3d6 + 5 Damage and the target is knoked prone.
C Owl Screech (standard; encounter, recharges when first bloodied)
Attack: Close blast 5 (all targets); +10 vs Fortitude
Hit: 4d8 + 5 Thunder damage and the target is dazed (save ends).

MINOR ACTIONS
m Trunk Swat (minor; at-will)
Attack: Melee 2 (1 target); +14 vs AC
Hit: 2d6 + 5 Damage and the target is pushed 1 square.

Alignment Unaligned Languages
Skills Athletics +15, Endurance +15
Str 21 (+10) Dex 12 (+6) Wis 12 (+6)
Con 21 (+10) Int 4 (+2) Cha 12 (+6)


I quote from "Celebrating 30 years of very stupid monsters"
"They might not realize that you're riding around on the back of an OWLEPHANT. I really don't want to know what the mother was. Either way that's just wrong."

Deathdarken
2010-05-26, 10:36 AM
this stuff is golden man good job

Lateral
2010-05-26, 04:31 PM
Dude!

...
DUDE!!!

That is just... awesome.

Hey, for the next few, can you do the Trinity of Dungeon Terror?
Also the flumph, never forget the flumph.
Hey, can you make the gazebo (http://www.dreadgazebo.com/index.php?name=News&file=article&sid=8), too? :smallbiggrin:

Chainsaw Hobbit
2010-05-26, 07:28 PM
I'm working on: THE FLAIL SNAIL!

Chainsaw Hobbit
2010-05-26, 08:04 PM
I now have: Flail Snail!

http://img532.imageshack.us/img532/9778/ddbeastsflailsnail.jpg

Flail Snail Level 4 Solo Soldier
Large natural beast XP 875
Initiative +3 Senses Perception +3
HP 232; Bloodied 116
AC 20; Fortitude 17; Reflex 15; Will 16
Resist 5 acid, 5 poison
Saving Throws +5
Speed 5
Action Points 2

TRAITS
Sturdy (no action; at-will)
The Flail Snail cannot be knocked prone or be forced to move.

STANDARD ACTIONS
m Slimy Flail (standard; at-will)
Attack: Melee 1 (1 target); +11 vs AC
Hit: 1d10 + 4 Damage ad the target is slowed (save ends).
M Triple Flail (standard; at-will)
The Flail Snail makes 3 slimy flail attacks, if 2 or more attacks hit the same target the target it also knocked prone.
C Acid Slime Blast (standard; encounter, recharges when first bloodied)
Blast 3
Attack: Close blast 3 (all targets); +9 vs Reflex
Hit: 3d8 + 4 Acid damage and the target is restrained (save ends). Miss: half damage and the target is slowed (save ends).

MOVE ACTIONS
Slimy Trail (move; at-will)
The Flail Snail shifts 4 squares and the space that it moved through is difficult terrain until the Flail Snail uses slimy trail agan.

Alignment Unaligned Languages
Skills Endurance +11
Str 21 (+7) Dex 9 (+1) Wis 12 (+3)
Con 18 (+6) Int 5 (1) Cha 9 (+1)

I quote from "Celebrating 30 years of very stupid monsters"
" I really only need to say this creature's name for you to understand why it's an abomination to all things good and pure in the world of monsters:

The Flail Snail."

Lateral
2010-05-26, 08:12 PM
Three flail head attacks seems kind of... arbitrary.

Chainsaw Hobbit
2010-05-26, 09:06 PM
I just updated the format.

Chainsaw Hobbit
2010-05-27, 09:00 AM
Next up: The Zorbo!

http://img706.imageshack.us/img706/4755/dndkillerkoala.jpg

Zorbo Level 3 Skirmisher
Medium natural beast XP 150
Initiative +6 Senses Perception +3
HP 46; Bloodied 23
AC 18; Fortitude 15; Reflex 14; Will 13
Speed 6 , Climb 6

TRAITS
Bloodripper (no action; at-will)
The Zorbo has +2 to attacks and damage rolls vs bloodied targets.
Bloodrage (no action; at-will)
While bloodied the Zorbo scores a critical hit on a 19-20.

STANDARD ACTIONS
m Claw (standard; at-will)
Attack: Melee 1 (1 target); +8 vs AC
Hit: 1d10 + 3 Damage and the Zorbo shifts 1 square.
M Leaping Bite (standard; recharge 5 6)
The Zorbo flys 5-8 squares before attacking.
Attack: Melee 1 (1 target); +8 vs AC
Hit: 1d10 + 3 Damage and the target is knoked prone.

Alignment Chaotic Evil Languages
Skills Acrobatics +9, Athletics +9, Intimidate +5
Str 17 (+4) Dex 17 (+4) Wis 14 (+3)
Con 14 (+3) Int 5 (2) Cha 8 (+0)

I quote from "Celebrating 30 years of very stupid monsters"
"You have to like how they took a photo of a Koala and just threw fangs and claws on it. Oddly enough, the murderous Zorbo are actually nicer than real-life Koalas."

Shyftir
2010-08-16, 12:34 AM
Drop Bear!!!!!

Chainsaw Hobbit
2010-08-16, 11:07 AM
Drop Bear!!!!!

Dude, this thread is dead.
Now ol' Roland is going to shut it down.