Hypochondria and fatal conditions

[The Succubus]

After reading this comic, I'm growing very worried that I might be suffering from the condition known as "mysterious circumstances". What are the symptoms for it? Is there any treatment available? Is it 100% fatal????

:smalleek:

[Darcy]

It is not necessarily fatal, but with many of the victims suffering what is called "disappearance" it is difficult to determine their fate. It is possible that a case of mysterious circumstances is not fatal itself, but can lead to other fatal conditions such as asphyxiation (aquatic or otherwise), blood loss, and poisoning. If you have noticed dire portents, ghostly whispers, or a generally ominous feeling you may wish to consult your local barber/surgeon.

[Eve]

After reading this comic, I'm growing very worried that I might be suffering from the condition known as "mysterious circumstances". What are the symptoms for it? Is there any treatment available? Is it 100% fatal????

:smalleek:

That depends, are you extremely wealthy and just got married to some dashing younger fellow?


If so yes, it is extremely fatal.

[sihnfahl]

That depends, are you extremely wealthy and just got married to some dashing younger fellow?
Don't forget married to an Evil person and talking Divorce ... and taking 60% of the joint assets.

[Emperor Ing]

Mysterious Circumstances, fundamentally, is only fatal if you stand around and ask questions. (http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0387.html) Other than that, you're fine.

[Leecros]

It's also fatal if you're married to an evil overlord.

and could be very dangerous and sometimes fatal if you're friends/family/married/in a relationship. With a protagonist of a story or adventure.

[licoot]

As long as a detective hasn't mysteriously turned up to investigate you should be fine, but I'm afraid once you get past a certain point mysterious circumstances is almost always fatal.

The best treatment we are currently able to offer is to fake your own death, and turn up at a point of dramatic appropriateness

[Murdim]

It seems to be a sexually transmitted disease of some kind. Here's some helpful instructions to identify a healthy carrier of "mysterious circumstaces" in your direct matrimonial surroundings.

http://i175.photobucket.com/albums/w130/superbongos/Tarkin-1.jpg

[Nimrod's Son]

I've had it for twelve years and found it manageable. A few ups and downs, but, y'know...

[Duaneyo1]

Sadly, mysterious circumstances are almost always fatal conditions. While unproven there are a few “treatments” that have been observed to be effective. Although the specific therapy may vary they usually revolve around witness protection programs, leaving the country or seeking the protection of a more powerful illegal organization. Similar diseases include the 3Rs virus which causes violent deaths by methods beginning with the letter R. Documented examples include: being thrown off a roof, drowned in a river, shot with a revolver or found in a back room.

[Darcy]

There have been occasional exceptions to the nearly-inevitable fatality of MC, usually coupled with the reclamation of a rightful position or property, exposition of a villain, or something of similar narrative gravity, however these cases are extremely rare and do not usually occur more than once every few hundred years. Family and friends of MC victims are encouraged to simply accept the mysteriousness of the circumstances at face value, as in-depth enquiries have been known to increase the communicability of the condition.

[mucat]

I think we're painting too grim a picture here. Mysterious Circumstances are a serious condition, and admittedly prove fatal in many cases. In other cases, though, the patient actually benefits greatly. I can think of a number of wealthy individuals who made their fortunes under Mysterious Circumstances. Rulers of entire nations have often come to power this way.

Evidently it can boost brain function as well. As a teacher, I can personally attest that several of my past students, who seemed to know absolutely nothing about the subject matter, have passed their final exams under Mysterious Circumstances. It should be noted, though, that closer investigation of these cases often reveals that they actually passed due to Provable Circumstances, a distinct but related condition. Such cases are invariably fatal.

[Tass]

I think we're painting too grim a picture here. Mysterious Circumstances are a serious condition, and admittedly prove fatal in many cases. In other cases, though, the patient actually benefits greatly. I can think of a number of wealthy individuals who made their fortunes under Mysterious Circumstances. Rulers of entire nations have often come to power this way.

Evidently it can boost brain function as well. As a teacher, I can personally attest that several of my past students, who seemed to know absolutely nothing about the subject matter, have passed their final exams under Mysterious Circumstances. It should be noted, though, that closer investigation of these cases often reveals that they actually passed due to Provable Circumstances, a distinct but related condition. Such cases are invariably fatal.

You win this thread.

[Scarlet Knight]

There are very rare instances where one can put off death by mysterious circumstances.

This seems to work only with 3 conditions.
1) If you are wealthy.
2) If your spouse is a carrier
3) & if they show signs of the next stage of the disease ( ie keeping company with attractive "friends")

You may perform the following ritual : declare loudly and often and in public: "Oh, when I die, all my money will go to the Church"!

Do this often & loudly enough, & you may be surprised how your beloved will tend to you to promote your extended preservation.

Exceptions: Your spouse is high level clergy, you are poor, the attractive "friend" looks like a young Rebecca DeMornay...:smalleek:

[licoot]

If you are worried about mysterious circumstances, make sure you do not change your will publicly,
most cases of mysterious circumstances are found if you are in a detective program, especially if you are a character which is only there for one episode or a secondary character in a season finale

[KoboldRevenge]

you better seek immediate clerical help. it's always fatal!