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View Full Version : Charity: A social experiment



Cookiemobsta
2010-06-05, 11:01 AM
Here's how this works. I will commit to paying 5 dollars to charity, IF AND ONLY IF someone posts after me also committing to pay 5 dollars to charity if someone posts after them (and so on, and so forth.) So if I post my commitment, I don't pay anything until Bob (or whoever) posts after me and makes a commitment, and Bob doesn't pay anything until someone posts after him and makes a commitment. If nobody posts after you, then you don't have to give to charity. If you decide to post, you are automatically doubling your donation because you are causing the person before you to donate also.

Note that you only have to pay up if someone posts after you specifically committing to donate--if someone posts "Cool story bro" you don't have to donate your commitment.
Also notice that you can choose whatever charity you want, and if you want to give more than 5 bucks feel free.
And it's not a pyramid setup. You're not paying 5 dollars for every person that posts after you, you only pay your commitment once, when the first person posts a commitment after you.
Finally, if possible, you should edit your post after you donate indicating that you did, in fact donate (and you get BONUS POINTS AND KARMA if you post proof, like the thank-you screen from the charity's webpage.)

My commitment is to the charity To Write Love On Her Arms (twloha.com). They are committed to spreading a message of hope to people who are struggling with depression, suicide, addiction, or self-harm, and are all-around cool people. Their story is

Pedro the Lion is loud in the speakers, and the city waits just outside our open windows. She sits and sings, legs crossed in the passenger seat, her pretty voice hiding in the volume. Music is a safe place and Pedro is her favorite. It hits me that she won't see this skyline for several weeks, and we will be without her. I lean forward, knowing this will be written, and I ask what she'd say if her story had an audience. She smiles. "Tell them to look up. Tell them to remember the stars."

I would rather write her a song, because songs don't wait to resolve, and because songs mean so much to her. Stories wait for endings, but songs are brave things bold enough to sing when all they know is darkness. These words, like most words, will be written next to midnight, between hurricane and harbor, as both claim to save her.

Renee is 19. When I meet her, cocaine is fresh in her system. She hasn't slept in 36 hours and she won't for another 24. It is a familiar blur of coke, pot, pills and alcohol. She has agreed to meet us, to listen and to let us pray. We ask Renee to come with us, to leave this broken night. She says she'll go to rehab tomorrow, but she isn't ready now. It is too great a change. We pray and say goodbye and it is hard to leave without her.

She has known such great pain; haunted dreams as a child, the near-constant presence of evil ever since. She has felt the touch of awful naked men, battled depression and addiction, and attempted suicide. Her arms remember razor blades, fifty scars that speak of self-inflicted wounds. Six hours after I meet her, she is feeling trapped, two groups of "friends" offering opposite ideas. Everyone is asleep. The sun is rising. She drinks long from a bottle of liquor, takes a razor blade from the table and locks herself in the bathroom. She cuts herself, using the blade to write "**** UP" large across her left forearm.

The nurse at the treatment center finds the wound several hours later. The center has no detox, names her too great a risk, and does not accept her. For the next five days, she is ours to love. We become her hospital and the possibility of healing fills our living room with life. It is unspoken and there are only a few of us, but we will be her church, the body of Christ coming alive to meet her needs, to write love on her arms.

She is full of contrast, more alive and closer to death than anyone I've known, like a Johnny Cash song or some theatre star. She owns attitude and humor beyond her 19 years, and when she tells me her story, she is humble and quiet and kind, shaped by the pain of a hundred lifetimes. I sit privileged but breaking as she shares. Her life has been so dark yet there is some soft hope in her words, and on consecutive evenings, I watch the prettiest girls in the room tell her that she's beautiful. I think it's God reminding her.

I've never walked this road, but I decide that if we're going to run a five-day rehab, it is going to be the coolest in the country. It is going to be rock and roll. We start with the basics; lots of fun, too much Starbucks and way too many cigarettes
more Thursday night she is in the balcony for Band Marino, Orlando's finest. They are indie-folk-fabulous, a movement disguised as a circus. She loves them and she smiles when I point out the A&R man from Atlantic Europe, in town from London just to catch this show.

She is in good seats when the Magic beat the Sonics the next night, screaming like a lifelong fan with every Dwight Howard dunk. On the way home, we stop for more coffee and books, Blue Like Jazz and (Anne Lamott's) Travelling Mercies.

On Saturday, the Taste of Chaos tour is in town and I'm not even sure we can get in, but doors do open and minutes after parking, we are on stage for Thrice, one of her favorite bands. She stands ten feet from the drummer, smiling constantly. It is a bright moment there in the music, as light and rain collide above the stage. It feels like healing. It is certainly hope.

Sunday night is church and many gather after the service to pray for Renee, this her last night before entering rehab. Some are strangers but all are friends tonight. The prayers move from broken to bold, all encouraging. We're talking to God but I think as much, we're talking to her, telling her she's loved, saying she does not go alone. One among us knows her best. Ryan sits in the corner strumming an acoustic guitar, singing songs she's inspired.

After church our house fills with friends, there for a few more moments before goodbye. Everyone has some gift for her, some note or hug or piece of encouragement. She pulls me aside and tells me she would like to give me something. I smile surprised, wondering what it could be. We walk through the crowded living room, to the garage and her stuff.

She hands me her last razor blade, tells me it is the one she used to cut her arm and her last lines of cocaine five nights before. She's had it with her ever since, shares that tonight will be the hardest night and she shouldn't have it. I hold it carefully, thank her and know instantly that this moment, this gift, will stay with me. It hits me to wonder if this great feeling is what Christ knows when we surrender our broken hearts, when we trade death for life.

As we arrive at the treatment center, she finishes: "The stars are always there but we miss them in the dirt and clouds. We miss them in the storms. Tell them to remember hope. We have hope."

I have watched life come back to her, and it has been a privilege. When our time with her began, someone suggested shifts but that is the language of business. Love is something better. I have been challenged and changed, reminded that love is that simple answer to so many of our hardest questions. Don Miller says we're called to hold our hands against the wounds of a broken world, to stop the bleeding. I agree so greatly.

We often ask God to show up. We pray prayers of rescue. Perhaps God would ask us to be that rescue, to be His body, to move for things that matter. He is not invisible when we come alive. I might be simple but more and more, I believe God works in love, speaks in love, is revealed in our love. I have seen that this week and honestly, it has been simple: Take a broken girl, treat her like a famous princess, give her the best seats in the house. Buy her coffee and cigarettes for the coming down, books and bathroom things for the days ahead. Tell her something true when all she's known are lies. Tell her God loves her. Tell her about forgiveness, the possibility of freedom, tell her she was made to dance in white dresses. All these things are true.

We are only asked to love, to offer hope to the many hopeless. We don't get to choose all the endings, but we are asked to play the rescuers. We won't solve all mysteries and our hearts will certainly break in such a vulnerable life, but it is the best way. We were made to be lovers bold in broken places, pouring ourselves out again and again until we're called home.

I have learned so much in one week with one brave girl. She is alive now, in the patience and safety of rehab, covered in marks of madness but choosing to believe that God makes things new, that He meant hope and healing in the stars. She would ask you to remember.and their vision is The vision is that we actually believe these things…

You were created to love and be loved. You were meant to live life in relationship with other people, to know and be known. You need to know that your story is important and that you're part of a bigger story. You need to know that your life matters.

We live in a difficult world, a broken world. My friend Byron is very smart - he says that life is hard for most people most of the time. We believe that everyone can relate to pain, that all of us live with questions, and all of us get stuck in moments. You need to know that you're not alone in the places you feel stuck.

We all wake to the human condition. We wake to mystery and beauty but also to tragedy and loss. Millions of people live with problems of pain. Millions of homes are filled with questions – moments and seasons and cycles that come as thieves and aim to stay. We know that pain is very real. It is our privilege to suggest that hope is real, and that help is real.

You need to know that rescue is possible, that freedom is possible, that God is still in the business of redemption. We're seeing it happen. We're seeing lives change as people get the help they need. People sitting across from a counselor for the first time. People stepping into treatment. In desperate moments, people calling a suicide hotline. We know that the first step to recovery is the hardest to take. We want to say here that it's worth it, that your life is worth fighting for, that it's possible to change.

Beyond treatment, we believe that community is essential, that people need other people, that we were never meant to do life alone.

The vision is that community and hope and help would replace secrets and silence.

The vision is people putting down guns and blades and bottles.

The vision is that we can reduce the suicide rate in America and around the world.

The vision is that we would learn what it means to love our friends, and that we would love ourselves enough to get the help we need.

The vision is better endings. The vision is the restoration of broken families and broken relationships. The vision is people finding life, finding freedom, finding love. The vision is graduation, a Super Bowl, a wedding, a child, a sunrise. The vision is people becoming incredible parents, people breaking cycles, making change.

The vision is the possibility that your best days are ahead.

The vision is the possibility that we're more loved than we'll ever know.

The vision is hope, and hope is real.

You are not alone, and this is not the end of your story.

So if you commit to donating something yourself, I will send 5 bucks to them; if nobody commits, then my five dollars will remain in my bank account, sad and lonely. Step up.

Ichneumon
2010-06-05, 11:26 AM
Great, nice initiative. Let the flood of charity begin! :smallbiggrin:

I'll donate something too, 5 euro's to.... let's see... Four Paws (http://www.vier-pfoten.org/website/output.php?id=1019&idcontent=1080&language=1)? It's an international organisation mostly focussed on helping animals that are mistreated for economic, scientific or other purposes.

Of course, only if somebody posts and commits after me.:smallwink:

Also, what if somebody, like comments to my post without making a commitment and then, somebody else posts and makes a commitment?

Innis Cabal
2010-06-05, 11:33 AM
Someone's posting after you. I annually donate 400 dollars to the American Red Cross and 200 dollars to the Salvation army. And I will do so every year that I am able.

Cookiemobsta
2010-06-05, 11:58 AM
Someone's posting after you. I annually donate 400 dollars to the American Red Cross and 200 dollars to the Salvation army. And I will do so every year that I am able.

Innis, I appreciate your commitment but it doesn't count for the purposes of making Ichneumon donate. You have to do an extra donation, above and beyond what you would normally donate, for this to count.

And Icheumon, I just donated ;) Also, to answer your question, the next person to post a COMMITMENT after you causes you to donate. If 5 people post off-topic posts, and person 6 posts a commitment, then you are donating because of person 6. Otherwise the whole thing could be derailed by one off-topic post.

fknm
2010-06-05, 12:36 PM
If you decide to post, you are automatically doubling your donation because you are causing the person before you to donate also.
Logic fail!

Were that the case, if 5 people posted in this thread, each wanting to donate $5, a total of $50 would be donated. As it stands, a total of $20 dollars will be donated- in other words, in posting in this thread, the total utility of your donation is actually lessened!.

Oh, and, no, I'm not donating to anything. Cookiemobsta isn't under any obligation to pay anything, yet, unless I've been ninja'd.

Allan Surgite
2010-06-05, 12:44 PM
As I don't have a PayPal account or credit card (or any "true" means of income), I cannot commit to this social experiment. My apologies.

I do, however, give money to charities that advertise on the "street." As for how much, it tends to be around three pounds or so (which is equal to... $4.34, I believe). Not too much, but...

Gaelbert
2010-06-05, 02:43 PM
Anybody know of good charities that you can use PayPal with?

Roland St. Jude
2010-06-05, 05:10 PM
Sheriff of Moddingham: This thread isn't really appropriate for this Forum. While discussions of charitable giving are fine, this is a bit more a...scheme, albeit a seemingly well-intentioned one.