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roarinflames
2010-06-06, 09:40 PM
so i was hanging out with friends at the local highland games and we got on the topic of nanobots, and i happened to blurt out "im gona be a nanomancer" kind of tongue-in-cheek. after we realized how awesome it sounded i had to make a homebrew, though it really has nothing to do with nanobots.
i essentially am looking for input on the creation but this is my first time posting here so go easy on me. let me know if its overpowered or underpowered, as i tried to discourage dipping. thanks.

Nanomancer
Deconstructors, Bladeweavers, Entropic Mage.
Base Class

Once the distorted pride of ambitious, yet mad biophysicists, Nanomancers have become a hidden destructive force governed by the laws of elements and metacreation. Nanomancers are not simply created; they are born and then strictly refined to form a pure element of destruction. Within them lies a force powerful to disintegrate any obstacle they happen upon within a matter of seconds. Despite their common name, they do not require arcane energies to obtain the power that courses through their veins.

Adventures: Like most others, nanomancers venture for their own reasons, most being to understand their purpose in the world, as they see themselves as the scales to balance nature, not just between good and evil, but between harmonious and discordant.

Characteristics: Most nanomancers do not carry weapons; if necessary they can always integrate a blade. They tend to have a holier-than-thou attitude around others, though not unfounded considering what they feel their purpose to be. Typically avoiding a fight, they are not helpless when in a threatening situation. If they were killed, it would not happen without leaving their foes with severe wounds.

Alignment: Nanomancers tend to lean in the more lawful and neutral area of morals. Very few are chaotic in nature as that defeats their main purpose as a nanomancer.

Religion: No specific patron deity, though as a general practice, they tend to seek out harmony between other bio-currents, though they know when such practices have become unsuccessful. When attacked by a creature it is their practice to kill the creature to remove its dysrhythmia from the current conglomerate. They believe in the practice of reworking the world, so that many structures built by nanomancers are eventually torn down to be reborn.

Background: The entire basis of the nanomancerís ability starts at birth. It is known that the mind of the body has a measureable electric current pulsing through; however nanomancers are born with abnormally strong current. Many biophysicists began to study these enhanced currents and soon realized that upon intense concentration, the subjects could project their bio-current to affect the space around them. Over time many of these enhanced subjects found ways to affect the molecular particles that inhabit substances short distances away. This is how the nanomancer became so powerful, through intense refining of abilities and much training.
Hit die: d8
Skill points: (4 + int) x 4 for 1st level, 4 + int each level after
Class Skills: Appraise, Concentration, Craft (taken individually), Disable Device, Knowledge (arcana, architecture, dungeoneering, nature), Listen, Open Lock, Profession, Search, Sleight of Hand, Spellcraft, Spot, Use Magic Device.
Nanomancer
{table=head]Level|Base Attack<br>Bonus|Fort Save|Ref Save|Will Save|Special

1st|
+0|
+2|
+0|
+2|Body Flux, Integrate Weapon

2nd|
+1|
+3|
+0|
+3|

3rd|
+2|
+3|
+1|
+3|Great Fortitude

4th|
+3|
+4|
+1|
+4|

5th|
+3|
+4|
+1|
+4|Body Flux (+3), Endoelectrum (10)

6th|
+4|
+5|
+2|
+5|

7th|
+5|
+5|
+2|
+5|

8th|
+6/+1|
+6|
+2|
+6|Reformulate Material

9th|
+6/+1|
+6|
+3|
+6|Body Flux (+4)

10th|
+7/+2|
+7|
+3|
+7|Endoelectrum (20)

11th|
+8/+3|
+7|
+3|
+7|

12th|
+9/+4|
+8|
+4|
+8|Current Presence 3/day

13th|
+9/+4|
+8|
+4|
+8|Body Flux (+5)

14th|
+10/+5|
+9|
+4|
+9|

15th|
+11/+6/+1|
+9|
+5|
+9|Endoelectrum (Immunity), Molecular Extraction

16th|
+12/+7/+2|
+10|
+5|
+10|

17th|
+12/+7/+2|
+10|
+5|
+10|Atomic Inbalance

18th|
+13/+8/+3|
+11|
+6|
+11|

19th|
+14/+9/+4|
+11|
+6|
+11|

20th|
+15/+10/+5|
+12|
+6|
+12|Endoelectrum (Perfect)[/table]

Proficiencies:The nanomancer is proficient with all simple weapons, as well as short swords, long swords, rapiers, and scimitars. Nanomancers are only proficient with light armors as they take a penalty on all concentration check equal to the armor check penalty of the armor worn. They are not proficient with any shields. If a nanomancer integrates a weapon he is not proficient with, he still incurs all penalties for non-proficiency.
Class Abilities

Body Flux: At 1st level a nanomancer becomes more in tune with the overwhelming natural current within his blood. This attunement gives him a +2 bonus on all Concentration checks. At 5th level the bonus becomes +3, at 9th level it becomes +4, and 13th level it becomes +5.

Integrate Weapon: At 1st level a nanomancer gains the ability to integrate a one-handed or smaller weapon of his size using surrounding particles. This ability requires a standard action concentration check DC 15 to complete. The weapon created is a mundane weapon with no enhancement bonus. The weapon lasts a number of minutes equal to your nanomancer level and is useable 4+Con modifier times per day. If the nanomancer chooses he can halve the remaining uses of this ability to make the weapon permanently integrated. This requires a DC 25 Concentration check to complete.

Great Fortitude: The nanomancerís body becomes able to withstand attacks that would cripple others. He gains Great Fortitude as a bonus feat.

Endoelectrum: upon reaching 5th level a nanomancerís internal current becomes resistant to other electrical currents. He gains resistance to electricity 10, and at 10th level it increases to 20. At 15th level he becomes immune to all electricity damage. At 20th level, electricity damage of any source heals him of 1/3 of the damage dealt.

Reformulate Material: At 8th level, the nanomancer masters the creation of his integrated weapons. As a full round action the nanomancer can roll a Concentration check in an attempt to increase the molecular structure of his integrated weapon. The weaponís hardness becomes equal to (check result Ė 5) with hit points equal to half of check result. The weapon gains an enhancement bonus for every increment of 5 above 15 on their check. For example, a check result of 25 would provide a +2 enhancement, while a 38 would provide a +4 enhancement. The perfected weapon lasts a number of minutes equal to the nanomancerís class level and cannot be made permanent like a normally integrated weapon; however a permanently integrated weapon can be temporarily improved by this ability. Using this ability does provoke attacks of opportunity and takes up a use of the nanomancerís Integrate Weapon ability.

Current Presence: At 12th level, the nanomancer learns how to expand their internal current outward from their body, damaging foes with the electrical current flowing through them. 3 times per day as a standard action that does not provoke attacks of opportunity, the nanomancer can create a shockwave of energy around him that deals 1d6 per class level points of electricity damage to all creatures within a 20ft. radius. Reflex Half DC (16 + Con modifier). Creatures adjacent to the nanomancer must make a separate reflex save of the same DC or be stunned for 1 round. Creatures immune to electricity cannot be stunned by this effect.

Molecular Extraction: At 15th level, a nanomancer gains the ability to draw the polar ends of ferrous molecules from his opponentís body up to 50ft. away, causing excruciating pain and sickness as iron and other mineral particles force their way out of the skin. As the intensifying burning increases in their body, they take damage based on their size; 10d4 if they are small, 10d6 if they are medium, 10d8 if they are large, 10d10 if they are huge, 10d12 if they are gargantuan, and 10d20 if they are colossal. Fortitude Half DC 18 + Con Modifier. If the target fails the save they become nauseated for 2d4 rounds as blood seeps from their skin (creatures immune to sickness still take initial damage). This ability can be used a number of times per day equal to half the nanomancerís current class level. Using this ability is a standard action that does provoke attacks of opportunity

Atomic Inbalance: Upon reaching 17th level, twice per day a nanomancer can take a full-round to concentrate on an enemyís metaphysical construction and work their way through the bodyís molecular conglomerate, pick out atoms of stable elements within and separate them from their electrons. Based on the elemental structure of the targetís body, the results are never exactly the same. The creature or object must be within 30ft. of the nanomancer. The creature targeted must make a fortitude save, DC 19 + Con modifier, or die in agonizing pain. Objects targeted by this ability have specific effects; metals corrode, glass turns to powder, wood becomes petrified, water boils, and stone erodes. Any creatures within 10ft. of the target must make a reflex save (same DC for Half) to move out of the area or be affected by the now dispersed electrons reacting with unstable particles in the air and take 5d6 acid damage.

roarinflames
2010-06-06, 09:42 PM
ookay took me awhile to fix the table. sorry first post here and im on someone elses comp that im not used to.

and please go easy on me. i tried to balance this decently but alot of you have way more experience with this than i. this was just a cool idea i spawned up.

radmelon
2010-06-07, 09:02 AM
The idea is interesting but it needs to be formatted (bolding and stuff) to make it easier to read.
<edit> After reading, it seems very sparse until 15th level, which is overpowered. Needs a major overhaul, but I'm not the best person to look to.

ForzaFiori
2010-06-07, 11:29 AM
Perhaps make Molecular extraction scale through the levels, as opposed to all the sudden being able to do 10d something? Start it at like, 6th level or so, and give them 1d whatever (die based on size) and it goes up by one every level after that. So at 8th, you do 3d whatever, at 12th, 7d whatever, and at 15th, 10d whatever.

PersonMan
2010-06-07, 11:38 AM
Bing! Formatted for YOUR convenience!

Proficiencies:
The nanomancer is proficient with all simple weapons, as well as short swords, long swords, rapiers, and scimitars. Nanomancers are only proficient with light armors as they take a penalty on all concentration check equal to the armor check penalty of the armor worn. They are not proficient with any shields. If a nanomancer integrates a weapon he is not proficient with, he still incurs all penalties for non-proficiency.
Class Abilities

Body Flux: At 1st level a nanomancer becomes more in tune with the overwhelming natural current within his blood. This attunement gives him a +2 bonus on all Concentration checks. At 5th level the bonus becomes +3, at 9th level it becomes +4, and 13th level it becomes +5.

Integrate Weapon: At 1st level a nanomancer gains the ability to integrate a one-handed or smaller weapon of his size using surrounding particles. This ability requires a standard action concentration check DC 15 to complete. The weapon created is a mundane weapon with no enhancement bonus. The weapon lasts a number of minutes equal to your nanomancer level and is useable 4+Con modifier times per day. If the nanomancer chooses he can halve the remaining uses of this ability to make the weapon permanently integrated. This requires a DC 25 Concentration check to complete.

Great Fortitude: The nanomancerís body becomes able to withstand attacks that would cripple others. He gains Great Fortitude as a bonus feat.

Endoelectrum: upon reaching 5th level a nanomancerís internal current becomes resistant to other electrical currents. He gains resistance to electricity 10, and at 10th level it increases to 20. At 15th level he becomes immune to all electricity damage. At 20th level, electricity damage of any source heals him of 1/3 of the damage dealt.

Reformulate Material: At 8th level, the nanomancer masters the creation of his integrated weapons. As a full round action the nanomancer can roll a Concentration check in an attempt to increase the molecular structure of his integrated weapon. The weaponís hardness becomes equal to (check result Ė 5) with hit points equal to half of check result. The weapon gains an enhancement bonus for every increment of 5 above 15 on their check. For example, a check result of 25 would provide a +2 enhancement, while a 38 would provide a +4 enhancement. The perfected weapon lasts a number of minutes equal to the nanomancerís class level and cannot be made permanent like a normally integrated weapon; however a permanently integrated weapon can be temporarily improved by this ability. Using this ability does provoke attacks of opportunity and takes up a use of the nanomancerís Integrate Weapon ability.

Current Presence: At 12th level, the nanomancer learns how to expand their internal current outward from their body, damaging foes with the electrical current flowing through them. 3 times per day as a standard action that does not provoke attacks of opportunity, the nanomancer can create a shockwave of energy around him that deals 1d6 per class level points of electricity damage to all creatures within a 20ft. radius. Reflex Half DC (16 + Con modifier). Creatures adjacent to the nanomancer must make a separate reflex save of the same DC or be stunned for 1 round. Creatures immune to electricity cannot be stunned by this effect.

Molecular Extraction: At 15th level, a nanomancer gains the ability to draw the polar ends of ferrous molecules from his opponentís body up to 50ft. away, causing excruciating pain and sickness as iron and other mineral particles force their way out of the skin. As the intensifying burning increases in their body, they take damage based on their size; 10d4 if they are small, 10d6 if they are medium, 10d8 if they are large, 10d10 if they are huge, 10d12 if they are gargantuan, and 10d20 if they are colossal. Fortitude Half DC 18 + Con Modifier. If the target fails the save they become nauseated for 2d4 rounds as blood seeps from their skin (creatures immune to sickness still take initial damage). This ability can be used a number of times per day equal to half the nanomancerís current class level. Using this ability is a standard action that does provoke attacks of opportunity

Atomic Inbalance: Upon reaching 17th level, twice per day a nanomancer can take a full-round to concentrate on an enemyís metaphysical construction and work their way through the bodyís molecular conglomerate, pick out atoms of stable elements within and separate them from their electrons. Based on the elemental structure of the targetís body, the results are never exactly the same. The creature or object must be within 30ft. of the nanomancer. The creature targeted must make a fortitude save, DC 19 + Con modifier, or die in agonizing pain. Objects targeted by this ability have specific effects; metals corrode, glass turns to powder, wood becomes petrified, water boils, and stone erodes. Any creatures within 10ft. of the target must make a reflex save (same DC for Half) to move out of the area or be affected by the now dispersed electrons reacting with unstable particles in the air and take 5d6 acid damage.

Also, you need to label (Ex) and (Su) abilities. So it looks like this:
Ability name (Ex) or (Su): Ability explanation, preferably with the level the ability is accessed.

jiriku
2010-06-07, 11:55 AM
You need to add many more powers. One per level would be nice, although you can usually grant two or three minor powers at 1st level (hint: a numeric increase in an existing power does not count as a new power). Many of your existing powers are too strong or weak for the level at which they are gained. Below I have some suggestions for moving them around.

Body Flux: OK
Integrate Weapon: OK
Great Fortitude: Move to L2
Endoelectrum: Should scale 10/20/30/immune/absorb. Move to L4/L8/L12/L16/L20.
Reformulate Material: Move to L3
Current Presence: Move to L7. DC 10 + 1/2 class level + Con.
Molecular Extraction: Move to L17
Atomic Imbalance: Move to L19

Given that the class powers revolve around creating and enhancing melee weapons or using extremely short-range attack powers, I'd suggest a d8 hit die rather than d6. You're going to be very close to the action.

Milskidasith
2010-06-07, 12:01 PM
First off: The fake science babble here is so wrong it's actually painful to read.

Second: Until level 12, this class is utter crap, with it's only class feature being the fact it can get a weapon (or integrate, which isn't really defined, but I assume you just get a free weapon that can't be disarmed, so it's like a soulknife). After that, you get... an OK burst which is worse than spells wizards have had forever (I mean worse than blasty spells, not worse than spells in general), and then... a save or die, and then a second save or die.

roarinflames
2010-06-07, 12:24 PM
thanks guys for the help with it, esp. jiriku for equalizing the whole thing.
i am open to criticism however the last post i feel went a little beyond just criticism to blatant "you be dumbness." the class' background description isnt meant to be accurately scientific, and since most of the people i play with LOVE to powergame, i tried to make something that wasnt dip-worthy, so they could enjoy the class features more and expand upon them. thanks again guys, and i'll check back for more updates.

btw thanks to guy who reformated it. i had it formated in Word perfectly and most definitely does not transfer to html well

roarinflames
2010-06-07, 12:35 PM
You need to add many more powers. .

would you have any suggestions within the vein of the class?
im open to new ideas for it. i didnt want to give it too much, considering the people i play with scrutinize the tendency homebrews have to being overpowered. that and i would totally wana play a class like this.

as far as the ****ty scientific description, it's mostly fiction, as my friends and i watch alot of stuff like dr. who and crap like that.

update: fixed formatting of first post and changed hit die to d8, will change around ability level and label abilities (Ex, Su, Sp) when i get back from work

PersonMan
2010-06-07, 12:46 PM
btw thanks to guy who reformated it. i had it formated in Word perfectly and most definitely does not transfer to html well

Yeah, that can happen. For me, the basic Ctrl(or Apple)+B switch on the bolding, so it's fairly easy to do so when I'm typing things up. Might not be the same for you, though.

jiriku
2010-06-07, 01:11 PM
Hehe. Don't let Milskidakfbah get to you. He slams all my homebrew stuff too. He may be acquainted with good manners in the same way that a rare, bloody steak is acquainted with fire, but his assessment of balance is usually spot-on.

Here's how I generally fill out powers for a homebrew class:
1. Decide on the role the class would play in a typical adventure. For example, a ranger is intended to be a hunter, tracker, and wilderness warrior with a spiritual connection to the woods. A bard is a talented performer who utilizes natural guile and magical music to persuade or trick others into letting him have his way.

1a. Based on the fluff you've written, I'd say the nanomancer's role is "violent, arrogant wanderer who can use the power of his brain to kill anyone if he has to, but it more interested in philosophy." As you can see, it's not immediately obvious what such a character is supposed to do in an adventuring party.

2. Decide what sort of mechanical capabilities the character should have to fulfill his role, and list them out.

2a. For example, I can infer from the fact that you put Disable Device, Open Lock, and Search on the NM's list of class skills that you intend for him to be skilled at breaking and entering. But to be really good at that function, he'll need more skill points and the trapfinding ability. You might also consider a small spell list with spells like low-light vision, darkvision, detect secret doors, find traps, and knock.

2b. As a second example, I can infer from the ability to create and implant weapons, and the short range on the attack powers, that you intend for the NM to get close to his foes. At the same time, I judge from the medium base attack bonus, d6 hit die and limited weapon/armor/shield proficiencies that you don't intend for him to be able engage in a prolonged slugfest like a fighter, barbarian, knight, or other primary melee class would do. This places him in a sort of striker role, like a rogue, ranger, scout, or swashbuckler. To be more effective in that role, he probably needs a source of bonus damage or extra attacks like all those classes have. He might also need damage-improving spells like greater mighty wallop, aura of cold, fire shield, keen edge, blades of fire, or vampiric touch. If he's intended to use spells a lot in combat, I probably want to include some method for him to use them as a swift action from time to time.

3. Once I have a list of powers, I assign levels to them by comparing them to sorcerer/wizard spells. I pick a spell that's similar in effect and potency to the new class feature, and then grant the class features at the same level at which a wizard would gain the spell, or perhaps a level or two higher depending on circumstances. If the class feature is a direct steal from another class, I usually grant it at the same level as the class in question does.

3a. For example, your electrical burst is similar to, but less powerful than, wings of flurry, a 4th-level sorcerer spell. Sorcerers get that spell at level 8, so I suggested the burst power be acquired at level 7.

3b. If you were to add trapfinding to support a traphunter role, other classes all get trapfinding at 1st level, so you'd also want to give the NM trapfinding at 1st level.